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Here at last: Barry spending time with his children while they’re still children. Their hair will get darker as they get older. Thanks everyone who participated in my poll!
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The Flashfam is hilarious bc they’re all just running around having super angsty backstories but making jokes and laughing through the pain as they fuck with time. They’ve all got three names in both civilian and hero form they just pass around like a hot potato. Everyone but Bart is in a jealous competition for Barry’s attention because none of them have stable parental figures sans Iris and Barry sans Bart who’s just vibing with YJ. Whenever a new one shows up they’re like “literally go fuck yourself right now”. They’re so much fun. Someone get them all a therapist.
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Impulse #52
Okay so... looking at the photos on the mantle...
Some of them are obvious and we get better images of 4 of them...
We have Barry, Dawn and Don (aw), Bart...
Barry and herself...
But...
Who are these? Wally and Jenni?
I'm pretty sure the person with the ponytail is supposed to be Jenni but the ponytail is way too high but we'll forgive it due to comic art inconsistencies.
And what about the short haired person?
I have so many questions. Is it Wally (likely)? Owen? THAD?
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Bruce: *gives all his children pride cake* I'm an ally.
Dick: you're literally queer as well.
Jason: we have a board fill with pictures of your many ex's. You see no gender.
Tim: at least this ain't store bought slices...
Damian, confused: am I gay?
Stephanie: you got time to figure it out buddy, just eat the cake.
Duke: thanks I guess?
Cass, signing: denial is a river in Egypt, you are gay... Thanks for the cake.
Jarro, looking at the cake: *alien starfish noise*
-------
Barry: *hands them rainbow cake* ally.
Wally: wait you're not bi?
Barry: no? Why you think that?
Dawn: uncle Hal and Leo
Wally: uncle Hal and Leo
Don: uncle Hal and Leo
Wally ii: uncle Hal and Leo
Avery: uncle Hal and Leo
Bart: uncle Hal and leo
Thad: uncle Hal and Leo.
Jay: you're not also married to Hal and Leo?
Barry: no!
Wally: ... Are you sure?
Barry: yes! I'm only married to Iris!
Jay, eating the cake: are you sure they know?
Barry: ... I think? I'm going to need a moment...
Wally: it's okay uncle Barry, it hit harder than a mac truck once you find out your feeling for your friends is actually romantic.
Dawn: I mean, uncle Leo took you ice skating in the moon light,,, how did that not register as a date for you? He made a picnic...
Bart: Uncle Hal also took you flying...
Barry: oh dear god I've been indirectly cheating on iris!? I have to apologize to her!
Iris: apologize for what?
Barry: me indirectly cheating on you with Hal and Leo!
Iris: ... So you're not polygamous?
Barry: what—
Iris: you know what let's talk about this later on tonight, you need to uh get you head around this I see.
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3 generations of falling asleep on the couch at weird times.
addition of don helpfully suggested by @biterflies
if its hard to see, barry's shirt says: i <3 my nephew
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Dual Aft Pigtails
Saw @narwhalsarefalling post about dual aft pigtails on Pintrest and all I could think about was Hal Jordan doing Dawn's hair like that, becuase he is... to quote the post a "fucking nerd."
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There's a very funny case that can be made for Bart being Wally’s nephew as well as cousin cause Barry and Iris were basically his parents. And the way him and the Tornado twins were always going at it when they interacted was very siblings of them + the issue they met was literally titled sibling rivalry. Just saying.
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Barry: Oh hey, sorry I've been gone for a while. There was an intergalactic war.
Hal: ???
Hal: Barry, I saw you like an hour ago.
Barry: Yeah, well, I experience time differently. I can't wait to catch you up on what happened!!
Hal: Why, what happened? Did you get a haircut?
Barry: Meet my kids! Dawn and Don Allen. They're 14 and I love them.
Hal:
Hal: Well... I'd throw you a baby shower but I'm afraid that by the time I finish setting it up, they'll have kids
Barry: Oh. Well, actually-
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DC really needs to up their creativity when naming the speedsters.
Bartholomew (Barry) Allen
Bartholomew (Bart) Allen II
Wallace (Wally) West
Wallace (Ace) West
Donald (Don) Allen
Dawn Allen
And finally the first and also the only one without a similar name in the family.
Jason Peter Garrick (not to be confused with Jason Peter Todd)
I hopefully rest my case.
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