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#dc constantine

Robin Musings, as per John Constantine

aka Magic Boi Extraordinaire, Ph.D. Shark Biology

Robin I

  • Eh what’s this
  • It’s smiling at me
  • You’re ruining my aesthetic, kid
  • Here, put on this trenchcoat
  • Much better
  • No I haven’t seen your kid, Batman
  • This kid is clearly mine
  • Hence the trenchcoat

Robin II

  • Hey kid
  • Wanna be surly and moody with me
  • You have to look into the horizon and appear disillusioned
  • Very good
  • You’re a natural
  • All you need now is a trenchcoat

Robin III

  • Hello munchkin
  • You appear to have a natural talent with skulking around
  • Ah, you stalked Batman
  • Excellent detective work
  • Here, I have this tiny trenchcoat for you
  • I carry them around now, just in case

Robin IV

  • Of course I can create food with magic
  • Pancakes? Sure.
  • What do you mean, pancakes are fluffy
  • Pancakes are thin and flat and taken with sugar and a bit of lemon
  • Just like the queen intended

Robin III again

  • You need a detective persona
  • Mine is surely “surly and British”
  • You can be “clever and twinky”

Robin V

  • Whatcha hiding there, kiddo
  • It couldn’t be six stay kittens, could it?
  • The same six kittens that Batman specifically told you not to bring home?
  • You need better sneaking skills
  • Here use this trenchcoat
  • You can stuff all kinds of things in it and you can never tell from the outside

Robin III again (remix)

  • Why exactly do you want to learn how to sneak around
  • Oh you want to see your hunky boyfriend
  • Batman’s opposed, I take it
  • Well first, if you want to sneak effectively, you have to get rid of the sequined thing and sheer booty shorts
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So I generally make these type of posts late at night, but the trailer for season 1 of Constantine showed up on my Instagram and it got me thinking about this again. Warning: the following will contain spoilers for the tv show Constantine.

I only recently finished watching the show, and the ending just about broke me because I actually got quite attached to Manny. And I can’t for the life of me understand why they would do that with him. I mean, granted, it’s a good plot twist, I doubt anyone saw it coming, but WHY?!

I mean, after “Angels and Ministers of Grace” Manny had become one of my favorite characters and they just turned him evil! Worst of all, they just cancelled the show right after Manny revealed he was the case of the Rising Darkness, thus providing us fans with the question I’ve been asking myself for weeks: why would Manny seek John out for him to stop the rising darkness? Is this like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation where Manny has a split personality?

I think for the sake of what remains of my mental health I’m gonna start pretending that Angels and Ministers of Grace was the last episode of Constantine, BC everything that happened in “Waiting for the Man” was super intense for me because I’m a young girl and a Christian, and what happened in the episode would be one of my worst nightmares come to life.

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Yes, Mom! Oh @offendedfishnoises and I wrote a basis for a ‘soft John Constantine as a frazzled dad to very unruly children’ HC/ Series. Imma use some of that. I hope this good.


John Constantine as a Mentor/Father figure

-       John would be the most confused soul on the face of the planet.

-       You were the child of homo magi only you didn’t know it. You lived with your father, a run-of-the-mill, average human. Your mother died when you were only a baby.

-       Everyone thought you were a normal child until you started glowing and floating around your living room.

-       Your dad tried to process what was happening while also trying to get his eight-year old child off the ceiling.

-       When your powers started to grow uncontrollable, he called the only person he knew had any experience with magic. His late wife’s good friend, John Constantine.

-       You saw him and were very confused. This dude was supposed to teach you something as complex as magic?

-       You gave him the benefit of the doubt. You watched him converse with your father, and then he looked right at you.

-       “Right, let’s see it then.”

-       “What?”

-       “Magic.”

-       “I can’t.”

-       “What do you mean ‘you can’t’? Just cast a spell, er, float. I heard you can do that.”

-       “I don’t know any spells, and if I start floating, it’s not intentional.”

-       “Oy…okay…”

-       You both just stared at each other in disbelief. This is what I have to work with?


-       You had moved in with John and his much more pleasant girlfriend, Zatanna. You called her ‘Zee’.

-       She loved you and would oversee your training in basic spells. You had gotten good at minor magic but when it came to consistency or focus, you weren’t doing so hot. On occasion, you were able to cultivate enough power for John’s spells. Too much power. You lit John on fire.

-       John was in charge of teaching you to keep your power in control and channel it. He was the leading expert here in other-worldly magic and harnessing it.

-       He didn’t think handling a child would be as difficult as it was. Unintentionally, you kept blowing stuff up or miraculously turning it into different colors. He didn’t even know you were doing that.

-       He knew he wasn’t as amiable as Zee, and his attitude was less than suitable for mentoring a small child, but he did his best.

-       You were the only person who didn’t get sarcastic comments when you messed up.

-       Over time, you grew more comfortable around John. You looked up to him in a way.

-       You continued to practice with Zatanna and John. You had certainly improved but you weren’t anywhere near where you wanted to be.

-       You turned John’s jacket pink. Bless him, he wore it anyway without a complaint.

-       John noticed your dull mood the last few days and it had him concerned.

-       If he was being honest, he had grown a little attached to you. He quite liked having you around. You were quite a spunky little thing. You were mischievous but also really caring. He saw so such of your mom in you. You had the same “Do no harm but take no b.s.” attitude and it always made him laugh.

-       If you were in a good mood and woke up early, you made toast and burnt eggs for the three of you. Zatanna always helped you make another batch, but John ate the burnt ones anyway. Awww.

-       You asked him why once and he insisted he couldn’t tell the difference.

-       You two even kept secrets, like the one time you saw him putting whiskey in his cereal bowl and just kept shut about it.

-       That day for your lesson he tried to be more encouraging and supportive. He tried to give you a high-five three times. Now you were concerned.

-       He had you try to grow a seed into a sapling. You looked defeated before even trying.

-       “No, John, I’ll blow it up.”

-       “You’re not going to blow it up. And even if you do, it can’t be that bad. It’s a seed.” Why did you look so terrified?

-       You tried anyway. You had been trying for an hour with no success. John never gave up on you, but you had enough.

-       John saw your hands fall by your sides and a tear fall on the floor.

-       “Hey… What’s wrong?” You were quietly sobbing. John bent down to meet your height.

-       He knew you felt discouraged. It really seemed to hurt him to see you cry.

-       “John, I can’t do it. I’m not good enough at all.”

-       “Y/N when I was nine, I couldn’t even do regular human stuff. Let alone magic. You’re doing just fine, Dearie.”

-       You just cried harder. John looked around and saw the items in the room glow. They were floating. That happened when you got upset, and it usually didn’t settle until you individually un-enchanted each object.

-       John didn’t mind the floating furniture. His only priority was comforting you. He followed his gut instinct and hugged you.

-       You instinctively wrapped your arms around him too.

-       “I have no doubt that in time, you’ll have mastered sorcery. You’re really very good, you know. Not many people can so skillfully turn a whole house blue.”

-       You laughed a bit at that. John looked up and saw the items returning to the ground where they were. That hadn’t happened before.

-       “Feel like trying one more time?” You nodded.

-       This time, the seed sprouted a stem and a very small leaf. You took that victory.


-       Even after you grasped the concepts of basic magic, Zee and John continued to be your mentors. You loved learning new things from them.

-       Majority of what John taught you was kept secret from Zatanna. You didn’t think she would approve of using magic to send mean people’s pencils to other realms.

-       John was particularly proud of the time you turned an irritating neighbor’s black suit bright purple.

-       You would go to parades with him and he would lift you up on his shoulders to see better.

-       When you turned 10, You entered in a school science fair. Of course, your dad showed up, but you were a little surprised when you saw Zatanna there with John. And he was in a blazer? What happened to his twill jacket? He looked all tidied up and he was smiling at you from the back of the crowd.

-       He showed up to every recital, performance, competition of yours. Always right in between your dad and Zee. She cheered very hard every time.

-       When you went on your first date, your dad stayed up waiting for you to come back. John did him one better and followed you. You knew though. That’s why his outfit was neon green when he came back.

-       Overall you loved John. He was the best mentor you could have asked for and an even better eccentric uncle.

-       And he loved you.

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