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#dc incorrect quotes
batfoolery · a day ago
Police Officer: Turn around.
Jason: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never comin' around
Police Officer: TURN AROUND
Jason: Every now an-
*gets tased*
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justsomeoneoutthere · 18 hours ago
Koriand'r: Who is the most fearless person you know?
Dick: Tim.
Jason: *offended* What the hell?? Why him?
Dick: I once saw him pop Xanax pills and down it with coffee that had like six shots of espresso and three shots of Red Bull.
Jason: And has it actually been him you’ve been talking to? It’s not like his ghost or anything?
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dianawayne · 2 days ago
diana: bruce kissed me on the lips.
lois: FINALLY!! quick kiss or french kiss?
diana: australian.
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90sdreamdoll · a day ago
Bruce : Cassandra. Is there any way, that this pregnancy test is yours?
Cass : how many times do you want me to come out?
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Ava: How much did you spend on this date?
Sara: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.
Ava: *Internal screaming*
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gothamcitycentral · 7 days ago
Superman, just trying to arrest Poison Ivy and Harley for ecoterrorism in Metropolis: Bats, please.
Batman: Those are my emotional support criminals, release them.
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yeats-nana · 10 months ago
Alfred: Why are there small handprints on the wall!?
Bruce, whispering to Dick: Why are there small handprints on the wall?
9-years-old Dick, whispering back: Because my hands are small.
Bruce, smiling to Alfred: Because his hands are small.
[Later that day]
Alfred: *puts an empty frame around Dick's small and colorful handprints on the wall that says "small art" at the bottom of the frame* Now that's better.
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catboybatman · 5 months ago
Gothamite: I had to drop out of school in the 4th grade to run a drugcartel to support my nan
Metropolitian: that means you never experienced the highs and lows of highschool football
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90sdreamdoll · 11 days ago
Wally: ( visiting the manor ) oh my god you're rich
Dick : no Bruce is rich
Wally : well he's gotta die some day
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thebluenebula · a day ago
Tim, sleep deprived: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Dick: .....
Tim: Trick question, it didn't!
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Ivy: Babe, what are you writing?
Harley: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information.
Flag: *Looking over Harley's shoulder* This just says 'Fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.
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gothamcitycentral · a month ago
Socialites visiting Wayne Manor: So we’ve heard you’re rather infamous for your adopted kids, you must love them.
*A chandelier flys out from the staircase, Dick, Jason, Damian, and Stephanie riding it with Barbara and Tim chasing after it before crashing into the floor*
Bruce without even flinching, choking back a tear: I’m truly blessed by them.
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