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#dc incorrect quotes
taco-1325 · 47 minutes ago
MariBat #8
Bruce: We need to talk about your will
Marinette: What about it?
Bruce: The only think in there is "Bury me with 4 extra bones to fuck with the archaeologists. Lmao"
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(Bruce and Damian, as Batman and Robin, are outnumbered by bad guys, so they are hiding)
Damian(whispers): Dad?
Bruce(whispers): Yes?
Damian: I feel like you're doing a really good job as a dad.
Bruce: Thank you, Damian.
Damian: I'm having a good childhood.
Bruce: OK, great.
Damian: Not right now, but overall...
Bruce: I got it, thanks.
Damian: No, thank YOU.
Bruce: I- OK.
Damian: Thank you for YOUR service...
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(After Christmas, when they are throwing out the Christmas tree)
Tim: Aww...bye tree! You had a good life!
Jason: That's how I wanna go out - dehydrated and covered in tinsel.
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wontletyouundermyskin · 5 hours ago
*when Dick first became Robin*
Metropolis Criminals: ha! A kid fighting crime, as if
Central Criminals: Bet that kid's hardly doing anything
Star Criminals: Damn, that kid'll be dead within a week
Gotham Criminals: Oh shit, he's worse than the Bat
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novaoutofthisworld · 5 hours ago
Y/N: *Drunk* What is your name
Jason: What?
Jason: Jason
Y/N: Fuck you Jason
Jason: What is your name
Y/N: Y/N
Jason: Fuck you Y/N
Y/N: Fuck you
Jason: Fuck you
A few minutes later
Y/N: Ay you know what i did last night?
Jason: You better not bring the gods in this
Y/N: Y'know what i did
Jason: You better not
Y/N: I built that fire over there
Jason: Oh
Y/N: Then i fucked the god of mischief to
Jason: Fuck you
Star fire and Roy: *Laughing*
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Jason:...So you're uh, *winks* "not" going to get revenge today?
Bruce: No, Jason, I'm not.
Jason: OK, got it. Then I "won't" bring your credit card - which I cut into a ninja star
Bruce: You cut my credit card?!
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(Tim, Jason, and Damian are called into the principal's office. Bruce can't be there because he ran into difficulties doing repairs to the batcave)
Principal: Three siblings in trouble in two days? That's a red flag right there. What's going on with you guys?
Damian:...Our father got trapped in the wall.
Principal: Is that how he died?
Damian: Dad's dead?
Jason: Good job, Headmaster. We were gonna tell him on Father's Day. Now we have nothing to do on Father's Day!
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dc-incorrect-bats · 6 hours ago
Bruce: You didn't know I play the violin?
Clark: Before today, I didn't even know you ate food.
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chaos-organizes-me · 6 hours ago
Jason: Mistakes were made-
Tim: By you!
Jason: -and people got hurt
Tim: By you!
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Detective Chimp: This case just got interesting.
Detective Chimp: Well, not JUST. It was pretty interesting to begin with… This case just remained interesting.
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Damian: Name one time I haven’t acted professional
Maya: You’re holding a juice box right now
Damian: It’s to stop me from spilling my juice.
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dc-incorrect-bats · 9 hours ago
Bruce: Is this where I am supposed to feel sorry for you?
Clark: I mean I don't want you to. But, just so you know, a well adjusted person would.
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incorrectbatfam · 13 hours ago
Clark: Go ahead and introduce yourself.
Jon: My name is Jon with a "B" and I’ve been afraid of insects my entire—
Damian: Stop, stop, stop. Where?
Jon: Hm?
Damian: Where’s the "B"?
Jon, panicking: There’s a bee?!?
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batfamgalore · 15 hours ago
Tim: I can’t get my clam open.
Dick: Here. You just have to-
Dick: Wait a minute. This is a rock!
Dick: Aw! They’re all rocks!
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dcau-incorrect-quotes · 19 hours ago
Superman: you love being mean to people
Batman: I don’t love it......I’m just really good at it.
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