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perpetualdepression · 4 years

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“If I were you, I wouldn’t love me neither.”

—It’s alright, it’s all fine...

—drowninginmyth0ughts

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tryingtoliveinthathell · 4 years

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The imagination of cutting into my flesh is not getting out of my mind.

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perpetualdepression · 4 years

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It hurts the most when you love someone who used to love you.

-What is this pain in my chest? Why does it feel like my heart stopped beating? Why does it feel like I can’t breathe? Why does it feel like it’s the end?

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perpetualdepression · 4 years

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Are guardian angels real? Because if they are, then I am pretty sure mine is a drunk fat one who right now is at some bar all wasted.

Well I don’t even think he will ever show up.

—drowninginmyth0ughts

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perpetualdepression · 4 years

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“Please tell me what you really feel because if you won’t, my mind will start making up stories which aren’t true.”

I am just losing my mind now.

—drowninginmyth0ughts

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perpetualdepression · 4 years

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I will care for you, even if we are not together even if we are far, far away from each other and even if you would never ever want to see me again.

-’cause I love you (I really do).

—drowninginmyth0ughts

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perpetualdepression · 4 years

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Well honestly, everyone seems pretty happy without me and that’s what I really want, everyone to be happy, so it is for the best if I totally disappear for a few days or weeks or maybe months, anyways no one cares if I am around or not. People I thought were mine weren’t really, that’s what really hurts and I am pretty sure even if I disappear, no one is gonna try and contact me or even try to find out where I am or anything ‘cause simply they don’t give a f*ck about me. The only person who really cared about me first time in my life is also gone ‘cause of those people as now she can’t even look at me, sure it was my fault I know that, maybe this is my punishment, maybe all this is happening ‘cause of what I did. But now I don’t even want to call them ‘friends’. Of course they are all not same, but most of them are and I know that now. I understood this the harsh way, but I did understood it, the same day when I completely lost her. What really sucks is that I keep checking my phone as if I am important to somebody. Ya I check my phone every six minutes, even when I know that when I will check my phone it will hurt more realizing that I am no one to everyone, that I am so alone and lonely and how much shit I gave while they just didn’t care and now I just wish I was literally no one. But at least now I know that it was all an illusion, something that never existed but I wanted it to ‘cause it was the thing making me feel I am not alone. I wanted to believe that it was real, that our friendship was real, ‘cause I was scared of being alone, but am I this bad that I gave up the trust of someone I loved for some fake friendship, well now I am, and it hurts, it really f*cking hurts.

Right now I don’t need anyone, but someone who will listen to me, who will understand me, and who will have my back, no matter who he/she is.

—drowninginmyth0ughts

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perpetualdepression · 4 years

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Tell me, would you care if I end myself tonight?

-Would you if I end it all tonight?

—drowninginmyth0ughts

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perpetualdepression · 4 years

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You said you loved me, but why does it feel like you didn’t or am I just overthinking again?

What is it?

—drowninginmyth0ughts

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perpetualdepression · 4 years

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It’s 3:05 am and you are probably sleeping while I am still missing you.

-How are you?

—drowninginmyth0ughts

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