#deadpool quotes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

societalenemynumberone · 4 days

Text

Deadpool quotes but with my Lucifer's older sibling!reader idea-

Reader: [First day in Hell, in the middle of a fistfight] Have you seen this woman?

[holds up a bad crayon drawing of Charlie]

Sera: You've been warned, Reader. This is a shameful and reckless use of your powers. You will be coming with us

Reader: Look, Sera, I don't have time for the goody two-shoes bullshit right now

Alastor: Do you have off an switch?

Reader: Yeah, it's right next to the prostate. Or is that the on switch?

Reader; [after finding out about Charlie's existence] You're clowning. You're not clowning? I sense clowns

Charlie: Feeling a bit lonely?

Reader: Only sometimes when I'm by myself. Or other times when I'm with other people.

Reader: [First ever conversation with an awe-eyed Charlie] You're probably thinking, "My dad said that his older sibling is the second most just being in all of creation, but his sibling just turned that guy into a fucking kabab!" Well, I may be just, but I'm no hero. And yeah, technically, that was a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that's exactly what this is, a platonic love story.

Reader: [to Sera] Listen, the day I decide to become a crime-fighting shit swizzler, who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners in the Lord's Kingdom with some creepy, [points to Adam] Heaven's Gate-looking motherfucker... on that day, [points to Emily] I'll send her shiny, happy ass a friend request

Reader [Helping in the second extermination]: Daddy needs to express some rage.

[starts firing their guns]

Reader: Listen, Angel, if I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also buried 1,600 kilos of cocaine somewhere in the hotel - right next to the answer for getting out of a soul contract. Good luck.

Angel Dust: [Grinning] You fucking asshole

Alastor: Morningstar!

Reader: How can I help you? Besides luring women into dark, creepy basements.

Reader: [Just learned how to use a phone, looking at a text from Angel] What is that?

Husk: That's the shit emoji. You know the turd with the smiling face and the eyes. I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long

Sera: I've given Reader every chance to join us but they'd rather act like a child. A heavily armed child. When will they grow up and see benefits of joining the Angelic Council?

Emily: Which benefits? Commiting genocide for amusement? Or the Angel that falls every few decades?

Sera: Please, falling out of Heaven builds character

Reader: Superhero landing. She's gonna do a superhero landing. Wait for it...

[Lute jumps from the platform and lands]

Reader: [clapping their hands] Whoo! Superhero landing! You know, that's really hard on your knees

Charlie: [Stopping Reader from killing Valentino] I can't allow this, Reader. Please, come quietly.

Reader: You blonde cock-gobbler!

Charlie: That's not nice.

Reader: You're really gonna fuck this up for me? Trust me, that squeaking bag of dick-tips has it coming. He's pure evil. Besides... Nobody's getting hurt.

[a dead body falls off an overhead building]

Reader: That guy was already up there when I got here.

#hazbin hotel 2024 #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin charlie #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin husk #deadpool quotes #incorrect quotes #hazbin hotel insert #hazbin hotel incorrect quotes

232 notes · View notes

super-marvel-dc · 3 months

Text

Steve: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Bucky, Wade, and Y/N: Ok.

Steve: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Bucky: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Y/N: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Wade: Bold of you to assume I can die.

#steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #bucky barnes x reader #the winter soldier x reader #wade wilson x reader #deadpool x reader #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel incorrect quotes #marvel

1K notes · View notes

ladylokilaufeyson5 · 3 months

Text

Daredevil, about Spiderman: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Deadpool: Are we stealing them?

Y/N: New or used?

Daredevil: Wonderful responses, both of you.

#daredevil x reader #daredevil x you #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock incorrect quotes #matt murdock x y/n #daredevil incorrect quotes #daredevil #matt murdock #deadpool x reader #deadpool incorrect quotes #incorrect deadpool quotes #wade wilson x reader #wade wilson x you #wade wils #wade wilson #deadpool #marvel incorrect quotes #marvel

751 notes · View notes

incorrectquotesmcu · 5 months

Text

Wade: Wait… You’re a lesbian?! How?!

Carol: It started off as a seven day free trial, but I forgot to cancel, so here we are.

#source: tumblr #wade wilson #deadpool #deadpool incorrect quotes #carol danvers #carol danvers incorrect quotes #captain marvel #marvel incorrect quotes #marvel #avengers #avengers incorrect quotes

901 notes · View notes

captainwaffles · 1 year

Text

Dionysus: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Dionysus: Not you Nico. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

#source: perchance generator #isn’t this Deadpool two?#captainwaffles #pjo #hoo #percy jackson #percy jackson and the heroes of olympus #incorrect nico di angelo quotes #toa #nico di angelo #incorrect toa quotes #incorrect hoo quotes #dionysus

4K notes · View notes

kaethefangirl · 3 months

Text

Matt: I thought you were unserious and childish when I met you.

Peter: oh.

Matt: But then I met Wade, and now you seem professional and serious.

Peter: Wade isn't that goofy.

Wade: *in his room interrogating his stuffed unicorn* WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MAMA!?

Peter: Statement retracted.

423 notes · View notes

ungrateful-sneeze · 7 months

Text

Peter: *bored in his apartment so he turns on the news*

The news: “New York and the world are in mourning as Spider-Man was seen last night being stabbed in the head by pole. The city has been setting up memorials for the hero and-“

Peter: …

Wade: *bursts through his window, still wearing Peters suit and still with the pole in his head* ok, so I know you said not to take the suit…

#spiderman #peter parker #deadpool #deadpool incorrect quotes #spideypool #spideypool fic #team red

675 notes · View notes

book-place-incorrect-quotes · 9 months

Text

Y/N: *after Tony catches her in the middle of setting up a prank* And besides, nobody’s getting hurt!

Peter: *falls off the ceiling*

Tony: …

Y/N: …

Y/N: That guy was already up there when I got here

#source: deadpool #avengers incorrect quotes #avengers x reader #avengers #mcu #mcu incorrect quotes #mcu x reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark x reader platonic #tony stark #peter parker x reader platonic #peter parker #peter parker x reader

684 notes · View notes

waterfire1848 · 2 months

Text

[ Zuko seeing Azula and Ty Lee holding hands. ]

Zuko: What in the world?

Azula: She’s my girlfriend you intolerant-

Zuko: Woah. Pump the hate breaks, Fox & Friends. I’m just surprised anyone would date you. Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony.

#incorrect quotes #source: deadpool #zuko #azula #Ty Lee #tyzula

301 notes · View notes

incorrect-piltover-quotes · 2 months

Text

Jayce: What in the fuck-knuckles is this?

Caitlyn, holding hands with Vi: She's my girlfriend, you intolerant shit.

Jayce: Whoa! Pump the hate breaks, fox and friends. I'm just surprised anyone would date you. Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony.

#incorrect piltover quotes #incorrect quotes #piltover's finest #caitlyn x vi #vi x caitlyn #caitvi #jayce talis #caitlyn kiramman #vi #league of legends jayce #league of legends caitlyn #league of legends vi #league of legends #riot games #swearing #source: deadpool 2

179 notes · View notes

forgetful-nerd · 1 year

Text

Spiderman: GOD DAMN IT! The bad guys cut off Deadpool’s arm!

Daredevil: Peter, it’s Wade. It’ll grow back. Why are you so distressed?

Spiderman: Because now I’m going to have listen to his Monty Python impressions all night!

Deadpool: *in a very bad British accent* ‘TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND!

3K notes · View notes

marvellover76 · 2 months

Text

Mobius: Please tell me you didn't drag Wade into this.

Y/n: I didn't drag Wade into this.

*knock on the door*

Loki: Who's that?

Y/n: I think you already know.

#In honour of the Deadpool 3 trailer #wade wilson x reader #loki x reader #wade wilson #loki laufeyson #mobius m mobius #source: girl meets world #I'm a bit too excited with the Deadpool trailer hejbsheknwvdhkewmbsbrj #avengers incorrect quotes #marvel incorrect quotes

221 notes · View notes

the-suicidal-lizard · 9 months

Text

Appealing

Matt: So are you two dating now? Peter & Wade: Yes. Matt: Why? Wade: I happen to find Peter very appealing. Matt: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Peter.

434 notes · View notes

incorrectquotesmcu · 5 months

Text

[texting]

Wade: Send dudes.

Sam: You mean nudes?

Wade: I’m in a fight. I need more men.

#source: tumblr #wade wilson #deadpool #deadpool incorrect quotes #sam wilson #sam wilson incorrect quotes #falcon #captain america #marvel incorrect quotes #marvel #avengers #avengers incorrect quotes

846 notes · View notes

iwannabealice · 9 months

Text

clint: what do rainbows mean to you?

wade: gay rights

kate: there's money

matt: the sign of god's promise to never destroy the whole earth with a flood

peter: it is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops

423 notes · View notes

headcanonthings · 10 months

Text

Wade, bleeding out, holding Peter's arm in a death grip: PETEY PLEASE DONT PUT ME ON DRUGS Wade, sobbing: PLEASE I OWE THE HAT MAN MONEY

#incorrect quotes #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect team red quotes #mcu #marvel #team red #wade wilson #deadpool #peter parker #spiderman #spideypool

681 notes · View notes