Deal With It | Bucky Barnes
pairing: college!bucky x female reader, previous college!loki x female reader
warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, alcohol, drinking, partying, enemies to lovers
summary: when you are tired of your boyfriend Loki's bullshit, you decide to break things off with him and have a night out with the girls... and Bucky?
a/n: Hey guys!! this is my first writing in a hot minute! (like two years). college!bucky is such an addiction to me lol. I hope I wrote him with some justice. Also, I love a good song fic, so enjoy! and be nice pls (:
Find my Ko-fi here.
song: Deal With It - Ashnikko
bucky taglist: @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky
edited for errors on 1-4-22
“I don't need a man, I need a puppy
Allergic to you, every time you touch me
Emotional maturity for dummies
I don't have the time to pretend you're funny
I'm back and I'm better”
“So that’s it?” Wanda spoke up from the space she occupied on my bed.
“Yup,” I said, looking over to the shocked red head staring a hole in my head.
Wanda’s jaw stayed slack as she looked over to her fellow red head sitting in my desk chair with her black boots propped up and crossed over on said desk. Nat threw a shrug her way before Wanda turned back to face me, mouth still hanging open. “You broke up with Loki?”
I smirked, looking away from the laundry that I was folding from my spot in the floor by my bed to look back at Wanda. “I don’t need a man… Especially that one,” I spoke with a shrug.
Nat piped up then. “I thought things were going well with you two?” She spoke, cocking her head to the side with furrowed eyebrows.
I sighed, looking down to the t-shirt that I was folding. “It was. Until I realized Loki should probably go to the library and check out Emotional Maturity for Dummies.”
Nat chuckled and Wanda was just further confused, shaking her head before she spoke. “Did he do something?”
“Yeah, he did someone.” I said, not meeting the two women’s eyes though I immediately felt their stares.
Nat dropped her boots to the hardwood floor with a thud. “Okay, where is he? I just wanna talk.”
I smiled, looking over at my best friend. “Nat, it’s fine. We weren’t serious. It was a shitty thing to do. But I’m fine.”
Wanda now cocked her head to the side and looked at you incredulously. “What do you mean you’re fine? Don’t you want to like… throw the teddy bear he got you in the blender?”
“Or draw a dick on all his sweatshirts?” Nat chimed in.
I chuckled, “Those aren’t bad ideas.” I folded a pair of shorts and set them to the side.
“I just don’t get it. Who did he sleep with?” Wanda said, racking her brain. I could see the wheels turning.
“Sharon Carter.” I spoke, looking back to my task of folding my next item of clothing with a roll of my eyes.
A scoff fell from Nat’s lips. “Why am I not surprised?”
I shook my head and looked over to her with a knowing look. “She did openly flirt with Steve right in front of you at that frat party,” I said.
Wanda nodded along, “She also tried to dance with Vis at the same party.”
I turned the conversation back to Loki, rather than speaking too much about Sharon. Sharon was nice enough, but if she had been drinking, no one would put it past her to flirt with the nearest hot guy. This time it just happened to be Loki. The key difference between Loki and Steve or Vis… is that he went along with it.
“Big bad bitch, I'm the baddest
We both know it wasn't love, it was just a big bad habit”
Things with Loki were getting more serious, but I still wasn’t all in. I liked him, but ultimately, I knew we weren’t going to be forever. There was that surface level attraction, but over time things he did started to bug me. He seemed like a good guy at first, but his fuckboy tendencies began to show through the longer we dated. Longing glances at other girls at parties or in coffee shops and general arrogance being two examples. Along with all the annoying things he did, it got to the point where it annoyed me when he touched me at times. Especially because the sex got to the point where he only cared about his needs and not my own.
Nat piped up, “You know, he really was kind of arrogant. He thought he was hilarious.”
I laughed with a nod as I continued to fold the endless pile of laundry. “And I am tired of pretending he’s funny,” I said, smirking over at the girls.
Wanda and Nat laughed along. Wanda finally sat up from my bed and squatted down to my eye level. “You know what?” She asked. I raised my eyebrows waiting for her to continue. She glanced over to my laundry basket of clean and unfolded clothes and pushed it over. As I opened my mouth to protest, she spoke again, “Fuck this laundry and fuck Loki. Let’s go out.”
Nat raised her arms and cheered, “Yes, I am down!”
I laughed at Nat’s excitement and looked over to a grinning Wanda. “I’m in,” I said with a smirk.
The girls and I began to get dressed and do our makeup. Nat texted Steve to see if he knew of any parties tonight to which he responded that Sam was actually having a party at his and Bucky’s apartment tonight to celebrate the end of finals.
Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes. He was a steel blue eyed, dark, and handsome individual. Once I moved to New York to attend NYU, I met Nat and Wanda through some shared classes. Nat introduced me to her boyfriend, Steve, and coincidently his best friend Bucky. While I enjoyed looking at Bucky, the two of us really didn’t get along. I really didn’t know why he showed the cold shoulder towards me, but I gave him hell right back out of pride.
A groan passed my lips as I took my liquid eyeliner out of my makeup drawer. Wanda rolled her eyes as she searched for something to wear from my closet. “Keep it down over there, Y/n. Someone might think you were excited to see the handsome fratboy,” Wanda joked.
I rolled my eyes before beginning to draw on my winged eyeliner. “Fuck Barnes,” I spoke.
“You wish,” Nat said under her breath as she curled her hair in the bathroom mirror.
I dropped my eyeliner and picked up the nearest thing to me, which was a t-shirt from the discarded laundry basket beside me in the floor and tossed it her direction. She only smirked at my attempt to act as if I wouldn’t fuck Bucky if he simply asked nicely. Hell, even if he didn’t.
As I turned back to the mirror, I couldn’t help but smile before going to apply my mascara. As I did so, my phone chimed and I looked down to inspect the sound. I furrowed my eyebrows at the message.
I miss you, pet
Who the fuck is this?
I know you miss me too. You know I’m sorry.
The number you have texted is currently drawing a dick on all your sweatshirts. Bummer. Don’t try again later.
I stared at the phone screen as three dots appeared and then finally went away with no reply. Good, at least Loki can read. I went to my contacts and deleted his number and blocked him. “Hey Wands,” I called over to her. “Is there a sharpie on my desk? There’s something I gotta do before we go.”
“I told you this was a good idea,” Nat said with a smirk from beside me.
“You were so right.” I said as I dropped the box of sharpie covered sweatshirts that I had gathered over the few months of Loki dating on his doorstep before walking towards where Steve was going to pick us up down the street.
“I can’t believe you did that but not the blender,” Wanda said with a roll of her eyes.
“I did throw the teddy bear away though,” I said with a shrug.
Wanda smirked, “Blender would have been better.”
“Steve’s pulling up,” Nat said, staring at her phone before we see Steve’s car approaching.
We pile in with Nat in the front seat and Wanda and I falling into the backseat. “Hey Stevie,” I said with a grin.
“Hey Y/n, hey Wands,” He spoke, looking in the rearview mirror.
“Hey baby,” Nat said before pecking Steve on the lips. I smirked looking at the content look on my friend’s face as she looked lovingly at her boyfriend.
“Vis is gonna meet us there,” Wanda informed us, looking up from her phone to tell us as she steadily still typed away.
We all nodded in acknowledgement. Nat looked back and smirked at me before looking over at Steve in the driver’s seat as she put her arm around the back of his broad shoulders. “You know, our little Miss Y/n is really excited to see Barnes tonight,” Nat said looking back over to me with knowing eyes.
You opened your mouth to protest but were cut off by Steve’s chuckles. “I am sure he is equally excited to see you, Y/n.”
I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. “I plan on actively avoiding Barnes at this function.”
“I’m sure you are, honey.” Wanda said, voice dripping sarcasm.
I scrunched my nose at her before looking back out the window. “I mean, come on. Can you both just put aside your pride and just fuck already?” Nat said raising her eyebrows.
I genuinely laughed. “That is the last thing I want to happen,” I lied.
Nat just rolled her eyes and looked at Steve who gave her a knowing smirk before turning into Sam’s and Bucky’s apartment complex.
“Wilson!” I yelled as I made eye contact with the tall man as we entered the space. People had already started to arrive, and music blasted through a Bluetooth speaker on the coffee table. Sam had his LED lights set to a light blue that illuminated the entire apartment. He looked over from behind the bar in the kitchen to see me before breaking out in a smile. While Bucky and I didn’t get along, I definitely got along with Sam immediately after Steve introduced us. “Y/L/N! Get over here, girl!”
I smiled and ran over to give Sam a hug. “How have you been, dude?” I asked still in his embrace. I hadn’t seen Sam since before his exams and I know he was super nervous about passing.
He pulled back, still holding me in his arms. “Relieved. I passed everything!”
I grinned up at him, “That is so great, Sammy! I knew you would.”
He finally released me from his embrace. He tilted his head before asking, “How about you?”
“I passed everything! Barely, but I did it.” I spoke.
Suddenly, a voice I knew all too well spoke up from behind me, “We all know how hard thinking is for you, Y/L/N.”
My smile fell and I looked at Sam knowingly before turning around and seeing where I knew the voice had come from. “Oh hey, Barnes. Did you get to take your exams? I know academic suspension is a bitch.” I said, tilting my head up towards the brunette. He was leaning against the door frame of the entrance to the kitchen and had on a snug plain black t-shirt that left very little to the imagination along with a blue leather jacket. The blue LED lights along with that jacket made his blue eyes pop even more if that was even possible. He smirked down at me and I’ve never wanted to smack someone and kiss someone simultaneously before that moment.
He moved from his spot against the wall and took a step towards me with that smirk still intact. “Are you ever going to let that go, sweetheart? That was like two semesters ago.”
I scrunched my nose at him. “Well, sweetheart, I came here to have a good time and that never follows you. So…” I said as I walked past him, bumping his shoulder on the way out.
Bucky smirked to himself before looking over to Sam still behind the counter in the kitchen watching the whole interaction. Sam rolled his eyes, “Are you ever going to admit you like that girl?”
Bucky scoffed, stepping up to the counter to grab the bourbon to pour himself a glass. “Like her? No,” He said, before taking a sip of his drink.
“She broke up with Loki,” Sam said with a smirk.
Bucky spit his drink back into the cup, almost choking, which made Sam’s smirk grow into a chuckle. Bucky sat up straighter and pretended like that didn’t affect him. “Loki is an asshole, but then again so is she,” Bucky said.
Sam scoffed, grabbing a bear from the fridge. “Alright, man. If you say so,” Sam said before making his way into the living room with everyone else.
Along with Steve, Wanda, Nat, and myself, Clint, Peter, MJ, Vis, Tony, and Maria had shown up to the party. Everyone was drinking and having a good time. There was a beer pong table set up to the side. Wanda and Vis were currently up against Nat and Steve and I stood to the side with MJ cheering each of the teams on respectfully. I had money on Nat and Steve and MJ on Wanda and Vis. As the game continued on, I realized I had done a relatively good job of avoiding Bucky since our first encounter when I arrived. It was a small apartment after all, so I was bound to see his stupid handsome face, but we had managed to stay out of each other’s way for most of the night.
Wanda took a shot at the final cup on Steve and Nat’s side, making it in with ease. Wanda cheered and jumped into Vis’ arms to kiss him in congratulations. I groaned and looked at MJ who had her hand held out waiting for me to pay up. I pulled a five and handed it over to her, which she gladly took and pocketed herself.
“I am going to go get a drink,” I said to everyone around the beer pong table as they set up the cups for another game.
“Find me in the ball gown
With a champagne glass
With a man on my arm”
I walked into the kitchen looking for the bottle of bourbon that was there before, but it was gone. Furrowing my eyebrows and scanning the kitchen counter, I still did not see the bottle. It was a bottle that I had left over here a different time that I had threatened the life of both Sam and Bucky if either of them had drank it. A few others such as Kate, Yelena, Bruce, and Thor had shown up, so it was possible one of them had mistakenly taken it. However, all my concerns on what happened to my bottle of bourbon went out the window when I heard an all too familiar voice speak up from behind me.
“Looking for something?” Bucky spoke before taking a sip of my bourbon right in my face. The smirk from behind his glass made me want to hurt this man.
I huffed before reaching out for the glass. “Barnes, I know you did not drink my bourbon.”
He shrugged pulling away from my advance to take the glass from his hand. “Ah, ah… This is the last of the bottle.”
I felt heat come to my face as my anger began to really rumble into my chest. “I’m sorry – did you say the last… of my bottle?”
He smirked again and that was all the answer I needed. I was pissed. That bourbon wasn’t cheap, and it was also the only liquor that I had here. “I’m going to fucking kill you,” I said, rage in my voice.
He took a step closer to me, eliminating much space all together as I backed up into the counter. He breathed out and I could smell the bourbon on his breath as it fanned across my face, making my blood boil. “Do it, doll,” he spoke with his eyes locked on mine.
I wrapped my fingers around the glass to try and take it back, but he was quicker. He pulled the glass from my hand before killing the rest of the alcohol in his glass and setting it down on the counter by my side. My eyes never left his as I glared at him. Even though there was a whole party around us, it still felt like I could hear a pin drop due to the increased tension between us. “Who the fuck,” I began, but the next thing I know, I’m tasting the bourbon as Bucky closes the distance between us and crashed his lips on mine.
My eyes went wide as my hands left the counter behind me to push Bucky’s chest away, but it was like hitting a brick wall. Bucky pulled away, chuckling. “What, doll? I had to let you taste the bourbon you were missing out on.”
I huffed air out of my nose before pushing him again, but again – brick wall and all – he didn’t budge. I hit his chest then. “You are a fucking asshole, Barnes, and you know what?” I started, but he leaned in again and damn those fucking blue eyes.
“Just shut up,” He emphasized before attaching his lips to mine again.
My mouth was open due to all my protesting and he took the opportunity to glide his tongue into my mouth fully allowing me to taste the bourbon he stole from me. My hands left his chest and went up to his neck. His hands wrapped around my waist and suddenly my feet left the floor. I gasped and Bucky pulled away only momentarily to set me on the counter before he stepped between my legs and kissed me again, moving his hand to my hair as he brought me closer – if that was even possible.
His other hand went to the small of my back just above my ass as he continued to wrap himself around me. My legs instinctually wrapped around his waist, leaving no room between the two of us.
“Holy shit,” I hear from the doorway as I pull away from Bucky and look over to see Nat, Wanda, and MJ.
My mouth drops open in shock and my three friends just smirk at me before they all start laughing. “Well, looks like I owe you 20 bucks,” Wanda said, looking over to MJ.
“You bet on this??” Bucky and I asked simultaneously, to which the three women laughed again.
“I bet Wanda that you two would hook up before the night was over,” MJ spoke up.
“I really thought you may at least wait a day after breaking up with Loki,” Wanda shrugged.
I scrunched my nose up at the sound of my ex’s name and I was suddenly aware that Bucky and I had not moved from our position as we locked eyes on each other. Before I could move or say anything, I hear, “ROGERS, YOU OWE ME!”
My head snaps over to see Sam peeking from behind the girls before running back into the living room. I couldn’t help but laugh before looking back over to Bucky. “Guess this was expected,” I said with a shrug.
Bucky smirked up at me before picking me up off the counter, but not setting me down and instead heading down the hall away from our shared friends. He leaned into my hair and whispered, “I only hoped.”
“You did?” I whispered back.
“Of course, doll.” He said as he kicked his bedroom door open to which erupted a chorus of yells and whistles from our friends in the other room.
Bucky gently sets me down on my feet as he kicks the door shut. “What do you mean of course?” I ask earnestly.
He smiled and shook his head before coming closer to me and wrapping his arms around my waist. I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up at him expectantly. “Sweetheart, I’ve liked you since I met you,” he said.
My mouth dropped open. “I would beg to differ,” I said with a smirk.
He scrunched his nose at me before saying, “You started dating that asshole, and it pissed me off. So, I was an asshole to you. I’m sorry.” His eyes almost twinkled as he said it in the dim lighting of his room.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry for being an asshole back.”
He smirked and said just barely above a whisper, “It’s okay.” He brought me closer then and brought his lips to mine again, gentler this time. His lips just barely ghosted over my own as his hand found the side of my face.
I pulled away for a breath and pressed my forehead against his.
“I’m still mad about the bourbon,” I whispered.
“I’ll buy you some more, doll.” He chuckled as he whispered back.
There’s a rip in the air, when Cas comes back. Dean tries to ignore it for a while, chalking it up to general exhaustion, to Cas needing to find his footing now that he’s human again. But it stays there in the back of his mind, like a weight, a balloon waiting to burst.
Dean remains on guard. Chuck might be gone and they might not be hunting monsters every other regular Tuesdays anymore, but he’s been waiting for things to rain down on them their entire life and it’s not something you can shake that easily.
It’s when Cas experiences his first nightmare that Dean finally gets it.
It’s late, probably bordering 3AM when he’s taken out of his slumber by the sound of Cas sobbing beside him. The covers have been wrecked and most of them are on the floor on Cas’ side, and the sheets are a mess where they pool below Cas’ ankles. Dean extends an arm and wraps it around Cas, bringing him closer to him on instinct.
His brain is still pretty fogged up but he instantly knows that something’s wrong- if not for the way Cas keeps crying steadily, because Cas doesn’t curl into his chest right away like he’s been doing ever since they started sharing the same bed since he came back. He stays resolutely away from Dean, only allowing his arm to stay around his waist because he’s unable to fight it.
This is it, Dean thinks. This is the thing that hung over us for the past weeks.
“It’s me, sweetheart,” he murmurs instead, trying to keep his voice steady. “You’re okay. We’re in the bunker, you’re safe.”
“No,” Cas let out, his voice watery and broken up. “You need to stop. You can’t- you need to stop bringing Dean into this, I know you’re just playing me. You’re not real, you’re not him.”
Dean sighs slowly, his stomach churning unpleasantly. He knew Cas’ experience in the Empty had been terrible, but so far Cas had refused to talk about it, plain and simple. Judging by what he seems to be going through right now, Dean guesses the entity had tortured Cas with images of Dean, and probably Sam and Jack too.
He extends his other arm carefully, and when his hand touches Cas’ cheek, his thumb running tenderly over the line of his jaw, Cas closes his eyes and lets out a breath.
“It’s me. I’m real, babe. It’s okay.”
Cas shakes his head, eyes still closed.
“N-no,” he stutters, voice weak, exhausted. “Can’t be. Can’t be him.”
Somehow, Dean feels less reluctance in Cas’ voice, so he draws a bit closer. His hand cups Cas’ jaw as he brushes his nose against his. Cas exhales slowly as Dean watches him. Finally when he opens his eyes again, Dean can see the blue shining clearer than before. Cas seems more composed, as if Dean managed to break through him somehow.
“I’m real,” he whispers, his breath lingering on Cas’ bottom lip. “We’re real. I promise. You’re home, you’re safe. I’m right here.”
“How can I know for sure?” Cas asks, voice steadier.
Dean smiles despite the exhaustion threatening to snap through his bones and brushes his lips against Cas’.
To anyone on the outside, the kiss would seem chaste, pure even. To Dean it feels like saving grace. Like pure, liquid supernova being poured out inside his veins. Warmth and utter love shoot through him as he lingers, his tongue grazing Cas’ bottom lip before retreating just enough to watch Cas open his eyes to stare at him again.
“Was that real or not real?”
Cas nods, his nose brushing against Dean’s cheek.
Dean brings his hand to Cas’ hair as the ex-angel tumbles into his chest, burying his face in the crook of Dean’s neck. He cards through the mess of dark hair steadily, waiting for Cas to talk again, but he only clutches him harder, his nails digging into Dean’s back.
“Hey,” he finally whispers into Cas’ hair. “I’m not going anywhere.”
It takes a while before Cas answers, his voice muffled from where he’s pressed against Dean’s skin.
“Real or not real?”
Dean smiles, brushes a kiss into Cas’ hair.
Dean can feel Cas exhale and little by little his grip loosens, until they’re just resting in each other’s embrace.
“I’m sorry,” Cas mumbles after a while. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay,” Dean yawns. “I’m here for you. You know that.”
Cas doesn’t respond for a long while, and after Dean’s placed several kisses on the side of his face and into his hair, he figures he finally went back to sleep. He’s about to do the same when Cas’ voice cut through the silence, his breath warm where he’s still pressed against the line of Dean’s throat.
“I love you.”
Dean smiles into the dark. He used to dread those words, to attach their weight to something he’d end up losing or fucking up. But now that he has Cas- truly has Cas, in sickness and in health or whatever crap they say in those chick-flicks Dean absolutely doesn’t watch- he associates it with something else. Something bigger, heavier, in a good way. It fills him with something incredible- dread, sure, but joy too. And as he ducks down to catch Cas’ lips with his own, he can feel Cas’ heart beating steady against his own.
“I love you too,” he whispers against Cas lips and delights when those same lips stretches into a smile before kissing his one last time.
Cas doesn’t ask real or not real this time.
They both know.
There’s a rip in the air, but it’s okay. Whatever comes their way, it’s good.
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