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nintendo-b1tch · 7 months

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There isn’t enough Rauru Fanfics!! >:0

So here, have some angst! :D

Warnings: Grief, Loss, Major Character Death, Sleep Disorders, Anxiety, Depression, Violence, Stress, No Happy Ending

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

As he watched you run, a grin spread across his face, basking in the euphoria of this simple yet magical moment. Suddenly, you halted, turning towards him with a mischievous glimmer in your eyes. In a swift motion, you planted a gentle kiss on his cheek, causing his eyes to flutter open in surprise and admiration. The affectionate gesture sent waves of warmth pulsating through his entire being, solidifying his love for you.

However, reality didn't mirror this idyllic scene. He awoke to find himself lying alone in bed, the absence of your presence as overwhelming as a tidal wave crashing upon him. Instinctively, his arm reached out to the side, seeking the imprint that your body would leave on his mattress. His fingertips grazed the empty space, a cruel reminder of the hollowness within his soul. As his trembling hand fell back to the sheets, his sorrow gave birth to crystalline tears that gently tracked down his cheeks, mirroring the anguish that consumed him.

His mind became a torrent of memories, each fragment tragically reminding him of the void that was now his reality. The weight of regret pressed heavily upon him, crushing his spirit with its unforgiving grip. If only he had been more cautious, if only he had shielded you from the clutches of Ganon, perhaps you wouldn't have been subjected to such a tragic fate. The simple stone, a mere piece of jewelry that adorned your neck, had proved to be a fatal harbinger of doom. In his heart, he carried the burden of guilt, etching the words "it was his fault" into the very core of his being.

Every fleeting moment with you, every stolen kiss, now replayed in his mind like a bittersweet montage. The weight of your absence intensified with each passing second, seeping into the crevices of his soul. The overwhelming grief threatened to shatter him completely, leaving only broken fragments of a once vibrant love story. The realization that you were gone, forever out of his reach, pierced him with a searing pain that he couldn't escape.

As the tears continued to cascade down his sorrow-stricken face, his heartbreak became etched in every line and crease. He yearned for the warmth of your laughter, the touch of your hand, and the ethereal connection that only the two of you shared. The throbbing ache within him served as a constant reminder of the irreplaceable void you left behind.

In this sea of anguish, he found himself drowning in a whirlwind of regrets and what-ifs. If only he could turn back time, rewrite the course of history, and rewrite the tragic fate that had befallen you. He clung to the remnants of your love, desperately seeking solace in the hazy memories of your beautiful laughter and infectious spirit.

In the depths of his despair, he vowed to honor your legacy and never let your memory fade. The stone that had caused your untimely demise became a symbol of his eternal devotion, a poignant reminder of the battles he fought within himself. With each teardrop shed, he silently pledged to fight for a future where love prevailed over darkness, where your laughter could once again fill the air, enchanting his broken heart with remnants of a love that will never be forgotten.

The haunting events of that fateful day replayed over and over again in the deepest recesses of his mind, replaying like a broken record that he couldn't tune out. There seemed to be no escape from the gripping nightmares that relentlessly whispered devastating images of your lifeless figure sprawled mercilessly on the unforgiving ground. And there, standing ominously in the backdrop of this indelible memory, was Zelda, her presence casting an eerie shadow upon the scene.

It was as if the weight of his guilt had become an unwelcome companion, a heavy burden that refused to be shrugged off. Shoulders slumped under the immense pressure, he found himself enveloped in an overwhelming sea of remorse, unable to fathom how he could have prevented such a tragedy. Deep down, he knew that you, in your infinite kindness and understanding, would never have wanted him to shoulder this blame alone. But try as he might, it was a challenge to convince himself otherwise.

Every waking moment was haunted by the fragments of that incident, the vivid imprints etched forever in his psyche. From the smallest details of how the light had danced upon your face to the exact postures Zelda had assumed in those haunting seconds, his mind relentlessly recreated the scene vividly, unable to let go. It was as though time had stopped and he was trapped within a loop of remorse, forced to relive every heart-wrenching second indefinitely.

The constant replay of this torturous memory began to spill over into his daily life, causing ripples of distress and despair in even the most mundane tasks. The once vibrant hues of everyday existence seemed muted and dull, as his mind remained fixated on that singular, pivotal moment of tragedy. The world around him carried on, oblivious to the silent torment gnawing at his soul.

He yearned for closure, for a way to escape the clutches of this consuming guilt. Desperate attempts were made to rationalize the situation, to find some semblance of solace in understanding that sometimes, despite our best efforts, life takes a cruel detour. But the heavy weight persisted, pressing down upon him like an unrelenting force, unwilling to grant him respite.

You were the one who opened your heart to fall in love with a unique and unconventional being like him. While many Hylians would mock and ridicule him, you chose a different path, embracing his imperfections and vulnerabilities without judgment or scorn. Your unconditional acceptance and support transformed his life, becoming the guiding light that brightened even the darkest corners of his existence.

The unimaginable day when you were taken away from him stands as a haunting turning point, forever etched into his memory. The mere recollection brings back a flood of emotions, like a fierce tidal wave crashing against the shores of his soul. He can still vividly recall the moment he crumbled, his helpless sobs finding refuge in the comforting embrace of his older sister. The pain of losing you weighed heavy on his heart, threatening to crush his spirit.

The sheer disbelief at your departure overwhelmed him. It was as if the universe had played a cruel trick on him, snatching away his beacon of hope and leaving him stranded in a desolate void of emptiness. Coping with your absence proved to be an uphill battle, one that required him to confront his inner demons and face the reality of life without you. Alas, his inability to accept your departure led him down a treacherous path of detrimental habits and destructive behaviors.

Night after night, unbearable nightmares plagued his vulnerable psyche, mercilessly thrusting him into a realm of torment that he sought to escape. Sleep became his enemy, a treacherous portal that unleashed the haunting memories he desperately wished to evade. His sister, although well-intentioned, could not fathom the depth of his anguish and grief. It was in the dead of night that she awoke, startled by the piercing sound of his anguished scream, a haunting echo of his heartache and yearning for you.

This distressing episode served as a mere glimpse into the extent of his sorrow, a silent testament to his shattered soul. The magnitude of his pain was impossible to comprehend fully, confined within the confines of his mind and heart. Yet, the echoes of his anguish reverberated through the halls of his existence, a constant reminder of the void left by your absence.

When the panicked urgency surged through her veins, propelling her out of her own room and towards the source of the piercing scream, she was met with a sight that left her breathless. In the wake of her hasty arrival, her brother's once peaceful abode had morphed into a scene of havoc and destruction. The room, once a sanctuary, now lay in ruins, as if a tempest had swept through its very core.

However, it was not the shattered remnants of the decorative mirror that commanded her attention, but rather the sight of her brother standing amidst the chaos. Approaching him with measured caution, every step calculated, she couldn't help but notice the untamed state of his hair - an outward manifestation of the depths of his anger. Only on rare occasions did his normally composed demeanor give way to such uncontrollable fury.

As she drew closer, her acute hearing intercepted the soft murmurings emanating from him, the words casting a shiver down her spine. Shock and horror washed over her like a tidal wave as his disturbing declaration echoed in her ears, each repetitious utterance carrying with it mounting intensity. " I'll kill him " he seethed, the weight of those words hanging heavily in the air. The force behind his voice grew, matching the intensity of his emotions, as his clenched fist collided once more with the jagged fragments of the shattered mirror. Yet amidst the chaos, her gaze locked onto something unexpected — a glint of metal in his other hand.

With tears streaming down his face, his anguish was palpable. The sight of her brother, overcome by a maelstrom of emotions, filled her with a desperate sense of concern. In that moment, she glimpsed her most cherished possession, a necklace that held sentiment and memories intertwined, clutched tightly in his trembling grasp. The juxtaposition of his vulnerability and the presence of that treasured necklace left her questioning the events that had led them to this drastic point.

Each shattered piece of the mirror, every trembling word, and the necklace cradled in her brother's hand served as a mosaic of emotions and turmoil. In that poignant instant, she vowed to uncover the truth and bring solace to her brother's tormented soul, to navigate the labyrinth of their shattered reality with unwavering determination. She knew that the road ahead would be arduous, but her love for him was an unyielding beacon, guiding her through the darkest of storms.

" Rauru....this isn't your fault, you couldn't have seen this coming "

" YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND, MINERU, I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING!! HE IS RIGHT, I AM NO FIT TO BE A RULER IF I AM UNABLE TO PROTECT MY FAMILY!! MY SUNDELION!! My everything.... " His body collapsed into his sister's arms, a vulnerable surrender to the overwhelming grief consuming him. As his uncontrollable sobs reverberated throughout the room, it became evident that something crucial was missing in his life. Your absence had left an unfathomable void in his soul, a void that seemed insurmountable in its depth and magnitude.

The tormenting night had awoken him from a fitful slumber, startled by the vivid intrusion of a powerful memory. In his dream, a cherished recollection had materialized, reminding him of a remarkable moment that had forever altered the trajectory of his existence. Summoning unprecedented courage, he had mustered the audacity to ask you on a momentous date, a simple act that held profound significance for him.

The night had unfolded like a beautifully scripted romance, each moment etching itself into the fabric of his memory. And when the time came to bid adieu, he exuded both anticipation and trepidation. With trembling hands, he gently clasped a meticulously crafted necklace around your delicate neck—an exquisite piece painstakingly created by his own hands. It was a blooming Sundelion, a whimsical embodiment of your heart's desires, carefully selected because he knew it held a special place in your affections.

His heart swelled with an indescribable sense of pride and accomplishment upon completing the necklace. The delicate charm gleamed against your skin, its intricate details a testament to the love and dedication he had poured into its creation. As you gratefully expressed your admiration for the thoughtful gesture, his smile widened, deepening the bond that already connected the two of you.

Through this tangible symbol of their affection, he hoped to convey a multitude of emotions that seemed impossible to articulate in words alone. Each carefully crafted petal and intricate design was imbued with the love, adoration, and profound understanding he had for you. It was his humble attempt to epitomize the intricate beauty of your soul—a reflection of the vivid blossoms that bloomed within your essence.

In that moment, he knew that the necklace would be far more than a mere accessory. It would become a cherished talisman, a tangible embodiment of the depth of their connection and the endless possibilities that lay ahead. And so, as he collapsed into his sister's arms, his tears mingling with the memory of that cherished night, he held the necklace close to his heart, finding solace in the reminder of the love he had once shared with you.

You were a truly extraordinary individual who possessed a remarkable ability to brighten people's lives. Your infectious personality and genuine care for others meant that you always went above and beyond to ensure that everyone around you wore a genuine smile. It was absolutely heartwarming to witness how effortlessly and selflessly you made it your mission to uplift those who were feeling downhearted.

In your presence, even the most sorrowful souls would find solace and comfort as you ceaselessly worked to turn their frowns upside down. Your unwavering dedication to spreading happiness and joy was truly awe-inspiring. You had an innate talent for understanding the needs and emotions of others, which enabled you to provide them with the support and encouragement they required during their difficult moments.

Your magnetic charm and charisma attracted people from all walks of life, and it was a testament to your exceptional character. Your mere presence had the power to create an atmosphere of warmth and positivity that enchanted everyone around you. You effortlessly formed deep connections and friendships, leaving an indelible impression on everyone who had the privilege of encountering your radiant spirit.

However, when fate took you away from the realm, an irrevocable darkness descended upon the once vibrant kingdom. The news of your untimely departure spread like wildfire, and the kingdom was plunged into an overwhelming state of deep sorrow and mourning. It was as if a brilliant light had been snuffed out, leaving behind a void that seemed impossible to fill. As word of your loss reached far and wide, communities near and far grieved the loss of a remarkable soul whose impact had reverberated throughout the land.

The kingdom mourned not only for the loss of an extraordinary individual who had enriched the lives of so many, but also for the void created by your absence. The absence of your vivacious spirit and contagious laughter left an insurmountable emptiness that permeated every corner of the kingdom. The memory of your selflessness, compassion, and unwavering commitment to spreading happiness was etched in the hearts of every citizen, forever reminding them of the profound impact you made during your time amongst them.

The grief that pervaded the kingdom served as a testament to your extraordinary influence and the indomitable mark you left on the hearts and souls of the people. It became increasingly evident that your absence was not just a personal loss, but a collective tragedy that weighed heavily upon the entire community. The kingdom yearned for the return of the joy and unity that had once flourished under your guiding light.

Though the kingdom continued to mourn, your legacy lived on, as the lessons you imparted and the countless smiles you had brought continued to inspire and motivate. The memories of your kindness, generosity, and immense capacity to bring happiness to others lingered, reinforcing the importance of compassion and empathy within the hearts of those who remained.

In conclusion, your unparalleled ability to bring a smile to everyone's face, even in the darkest of times, was a gift that touched the lives of countless individuals. Your magnetic presence and unwavering commitment to spreading joy made you the guiding light of the kingdom, and your departure left behind an irreplaceable void that was mourned by all. Your legacy of kindness and selflessness continues to resonate within the hearts of those who were fortunate enough to cross paths with you, ensuring that your memory is forever cherished and celebrated.

Every single day, without fail, he would find himself in the same predicament: unable to sleep, tormented by the memories of their time together. Each night seemed to bring forth a different recollection, replaying like a broken record in his mind. It was as if the universe had conspired to snatch away his beloved far too soon, leaving him to grapple with an unfair and unfathomable reality.

The emotions that churned within him were overwhelming, and he couldn't help but feel a growing disgust in the depths of his chest. The sight of couples indulging in displays of affection felt like a personal affront, a cruel reminder of what he had lost. It was almost as if they were purposefully rubbing their happiness in his face, taunting him with the fact that he could no longer share such moments with you.

These thoughts, invasive and unrelenting, plagued his mind relentlessly. They consumed him to such an extent that he found solace only within the confines of his own room. It became a sanctuary of sorts, a shelter from the onslaught of memories and emotions that threatened to engulf him. Within those four walls, he sought refuge from the tumultuous waves crashing against the shores of his weary soul.

And so, he would retreat into isolation, withdrawing from the world outside that seemed so devoid of the warmth and joy he once knew. The confinement of his room became a physical representation of the emotional isolation he felt, a space where he could attempt to make sense of the incomprehensible loss that had shattered his world.

In this chamber of solitude, he would dwell upon the fragments of memories scattered across the vast expanse of his mind. Each moment of tenderness, each laugh shared, and every touch exchanged would be painstakingly dissected and analyzed. For within those memories lay the essence of what had been lost, the intangible connection that was now severed.

As he grappled with the unbearable weight of his grief, he longed for an answer to the inevitable question: why? Why were others allowed to bask in the glow of happiness while he was left to navigate the darkness alone? The answer remained elusive, buried within the complexities of fate and the unpredictability of life.

And so, night after night, he would find himself trapped in this ceaseless cycle of longing, yearning for an escape from the clutches of his sorrow. Each sleepless night was a stark reminder of the love that had been snatched away, and the pain that persisted. And within the walls of his room, he would continue to search for solace, hoping that one day, the memories would bring not only pain, but also a bittersweet sense of peace.

Rauru found solace in immersing himself in his royal duties, seeking respite from the overwhelming weight of his thoughts. Wrapped tightly in his blanket, he absentmindedly scratched at the fur on his thighs, a nervous tick that offered temporary distraction. His gaze fell upon the wounds that marred his flesh, a secret he held close, aware of the unhealthiness of his actions.

In truth, he couldn't fathom the possibility of breaking free from this cycle. It had become an addiction, a desperate attempt to alleviate the agony of your absence. You were more than just a presence in his life; you were the very essence of his happiness. The day you left, his world came crashing down, an irreversible rupture in his soul.

That fateful night, Rauru found himself kneeling before the statue of the goddess, pouring his heart out in desperate pleas. He yearned for your return, hoping against all odds that she would hear his cries and grant him reprieve. However, no matter how many times he humbled himself in front of that relentless statue, you remained forever out of reach.

Oh, how he longed for your presence once more, but it was an unattainable dream. He resigned himself to a life where you would never grace his side again, forever mourning the loss of the one who completed him..

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1-beansss-1 · 3 months

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Dealing with loss...

Part 2

Simon Petrikov x reader

Warnings - mentions of Suicide, SH, Depression, ED, and Alcohol

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You stood up and looked around. You saw the ice king.

"Icy..?"

"YOU... YOU NEVER HELPED! I WAS MISERABLE AND YOU JUST WATCHED"

"No.. please don't be mad at me.. Icy.. You never yelled at me.."

You fell to your knees and started sobbing loudly.

"Please calm down.."

You reached out to him, but your hand went right through him and fell to the ground.

You woke up on the ground beside your bed. You groaned and got up slowly.

"I don't want to have these dreams.. I'm gonna get a drink... mabye then I won't..."

You felt your body ache, and you stretched to try to relieve some pain. You walked out of your house and to the candy tavern, thinking about the dream as you walked. You looked up, realizing you were at the bar and walked in, going straight to the bar. You sat down at the bar and started to drink heavily, but you paced yourself. You didn't want to pass out. You normally just got blackout drunk, but this time, you wanted to be able to walk home the same night without needing help. You shifted around in your seat, feeling pretty drunk, a happy drunk.

"Hey, Dirtbeer guy! Heeyy...heyy! my glass is empty!"

You were almost yelling at him, and you shook your glass at him.

"Alright.. Alright.. stop yelling.."

He filled your drink up again and sighed.

"What? Yelling? I'm not yelling! Would you like to hear yelling?"

You started to laugh loudly.

"Mabye, you should go home.."

"Huh? Aw, Dirtbeer guy, don't be meannn! I'm having fuunn!"

You said as you leaned over the bar. Dirtbeer guy sighed and called simon.

"Hey.. Y/N's drunk again.. They're getting loud.. come get them"

Dirtbeer guy figured you two were dating or something since he took you home yesterday. You leaned over the bar more and reached for the phone.

"Hey, who are you talking to? I wanna talk"

You grabbed the phone from his hand.

"Heyy! Who is thiss?"

You got off the bar and leaned backward a bit.

"It's Simon.."

He answered. You smiled and leaned back in your chair a bit.

"Simon! Heyy! I like your voice, talk to me more.. pleeeaase.."

You whined slightly and moved the phone closer to your ear.

"A-Alright.. well, I'm going to the bar to help you.."

"Help? Nahh, come drink with me, Simon!"

You raised your glass for a nonexistent toast and took a drink.

"No.. No.. I'd never get home then"

He chuckled a bit.

"Simon! Your laugh is really cute.."

"Oh.. um.. t-thank you..?"

You laughed so loudly Simon had to move the phone away from his ear.

"Simon, you're coming, right?"

"Yes..."

You leaned further back and fell out of the chair. You dropped the phone.

"Oh no.. I fell!"

You laughed and looked at the ground next to you, the phone was there.

"Simon, I'm on the floooor...."

"Are you alright? It sounded like a pretty hard fall.."

"I'm great!!"

Simon hung up the phone and walked inside the bar.

"SIMON! I'm on the floor!"

You put your arms up. He walked over to you and helped you up and into a seat.

"We need to get you home.."

Simon sighed. You leaned over on Simon, resting your head on his shoulder.

"No.. have a drink with me.. please"

You whispered into his ear. He tensed up and leaned away from you.

"Just one.. alright?"

You got off of him and laughed.

"Yay!"

He ordered a drink and took a sip of it.

"Hey Simon.. have I told you that I think you're pretty attractive?"

He was caught off guard and alcohol spewed out his nose. He coughed and covered his nose. You laughed and leaned over onto him more.

"Y-You need to go home. You're saying things you'll regret!"

You shook your head and crossed your arms, pouting.

"Noo! You haven't finished your drink yet"

He let out a frustrated sigh and downed his drink.

"Now, can we leave?"

He grumbled a bit and wiped his mouth off.

"Oh, you're coming home with me? Alright then, let's go! Come on!"

You stood up and pointed to the door. You started to stumble out the bar. Simon sighed and followed you.

"Listen, I'm just going to help you home and then leave"

You looked back at him and walked closer to him, grabbing his hand, swinging it around.

"Aww.. you're not staying? I thought we could have fun.."

Simon turned red and tried to pry your fingers from his hand.

"N-No! No.. you're way too drunk..."

You leaned on him and pulled his hand to your face, kissing the back of his hand. He got tired of your antics and pushed you off of him. He didn't even use much force, but you stumbled backward and fell to the ground.

"SIMON! You're so mean.. you took away my Icy and now you push me?"

You got up and ran away, stumbling around a bit. You were going the wrong direction to your house. Simon let out a tired sigh and ran after you.

"You're going the wrong way.."

He called out to you. You stopped and turned around.

"You think I don't know where MY house is?"

You put your hands on your hips. Simon caught up with you and grabbed your hand, dragging you home.

"I'm getting tired of this.."

You looked at your hand and blushed a bit. He got to your house and pushed you inside.

"Fine.. Fine, I'm going in!"

You walked inside and walked to your bedroom. Simon looked around. He saw how messy it was. Things were scattered about. Photos, keepsakes, clothes, anything that reminded you of the ice king, it was everywhere. He leaned on the door frame. He didn't know if he could do this. He put a hand on his head and walked in. He looked at the pictures of you and Ice King. Memories flashed into his head. He groaned, leaning forward. You came out of the bedroom and put your hands on his shoulders.

"A-Are you ok? Let me help"

You picked him up, acting on instinct. He tried to push you away, but you had a firm grip. you took him to the bed and laid him down.

"W-What are you doing?!"

You looked at him and brushed the hair out of his face.

"Shh, get some sleep now.. go to sleep icy.."

You kissed his cheek and tucked him in. You sat on the ground next to the bed. He sat up and looked confused.

"What the hell..?"

"Go to bed.. Icy.. I know you're sad.. I'm here.. I won't leave you."

You reached up in the bed and felt around for his hand. Simon laid back down. He couldn't figure out how to get out of this situation. He had to admit, it did feel nice being comforted like this. You grabbed his hand and squeezed a bit

"Do you want me to sing the song? Hmm?"

"A-Alright?"

He didn't know what you meant, but he wanted to figure it out. You started to sing the cheers theme, you closed your eyes and swayed your body slightly. Simon smiled slightly and hummed along. He was surprised you knew it. Your singing got quiter as you started to fall asleep. He got out of bed and put you in it instead. He let out a tired sounding sigh and tried to leave. you still had his hand in yours, and you weren't letting go. He sighed and sat down on the floor.

"Guess I'm staying.."

Simon put his knees close to his chest and rested his head on them, trying to get as comfortable as he could. He yawned and went to sleep.

You squeezed his hand and moved around in the bed, having another nightmare.

"Icy, please.. I.."

You mumbled in your sleep. Simon woke up and stood up. He looked at the clock. A few hours had passed. You woke up and shot up in the bed.

"This is why I get blackout drunk.."

You sighed and reached for your head. You looked over at Simon and jumped, moving away from him.

"The fuck? What are you doing here?"

You grabbed your head, you didn't remember anything.

"I took you home.. but you wouldn't let me go.."

He pointed to his hand that you were still holding. You let go of it quickly and huffed. You pulled your legs to your chest.

"I don't remember.. please tell me I didn't do anything.. weird.."

You said as you put your head in your knees.

"I don't think you want to know.."

Simon said, looking down.

"That bad, huh? Just tell me.."

He let out a sigh.

"Uh, so, you were so loud. Dirtbeer guy called me to pick you up"

You chuckled a bit and nodded. He fidgeted with his hands as he talked.

"Um, you fell on the floor... You ran away.. in the wrong direction"

"Nothing out of the ordinary"

"I took you home and put you to bed.."

You turned to look at him and squinted.

"You're leaving stuff out.. I can tell.."

He tilted his head and looked at you.

"I-I'm not leaving anything out. What do you mean?"

"Your voice sounds nervous, you're tense, and you're fidgeting. You have the same tells as him.."

You sighed, putting your head back in your knees. Simon looked uncomfortable. He didn't like that he acted like the ice king.

"Sorry.. I know how you feel about being compared to him.."

"It's alright.."

Simon sighed and looked down.

"Um.. you.. you flirted with me the whole night.. actually, you told me you wanted to have uh 'fun'"

You cringed at his words.

"Oh... Please forget that! That's gross.. I really did that?"

Simon nodded.

"Great.."

You sighed and looked at Simon.

"Anything else?"

"Um.. I was having trouble seeing the pictures and stuff... you stared to comfort me like you would do for ice king.."

"Picking him up, tucking him in, holding his hand as he slept.."

You mumbled, remembering how you did it. You sighed, you stared to feel embarrassed.

"Did.. Did I sing the song?"

Simon nodded and you put your hands on your face.

"That's so embarrassing! Please, just forget this happened.. ugh.."

Your face was red. Simon smiled at you and nodded.

"How do you know the cheers theme anyway?"

You looked confused.

"Cheers? What's that? Do you mean the song? Icy taught me...."

Simon sighed.

"It's my favorite show.."

You yawned a bit and looked at the time.

"Aren't you tired?"

"A bit.."

You sighed and got up.

"It's late.. just sleep in my bed.. I'll go to the couch.."

You grabbed a pillow, you walked out before he could protest. You laid down on your couch and sighed, falling asleep quickly.

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#dealing with loss #simon petrikov #simon petrikov x reader #simon x reader #simon fanfic #adventure time fanfic #adventure time simon #adventure time fionna and cake #adventure time ice king #adventure time #ice king x reader #ice king #fionna and cake fanfic #fionna and cake #fanfic

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theunsaidsyllables · 4 months

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You can't ease pain with discipline. You can't push it out of your body with force. You can caress it, hug it gently, hold it till it feels lighter, till it melts in your embrace and becomes one with light.

#writeblr #books and reading #writerscommunity #poetsandwriters #writing #booktok #reading #ao3 #writers on tumblr #ache #heartache #sad notes #grief #dealing with grief #dealing with loss #dealing with depression #dealing with anxiety

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ranwing · 3 months

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Personal stuff (feel free to ignore)

Two weeks ago was the 3rd anniversary of losing mom, and admittedly I've been rather down for the past few weeks. I can't believe that so much time has passed, and that it still feels like yesterday. I started thinking a lot about those days when she was on hospice care when I lay in bed at night and the moments when it was clear that she was slipping away. There was the moment when I asked her who I was and she didn't recognize me. The moment when she lost the ability to swallow and I had to clean what she tried to eat for breakfast out of her mouth. I remember when the nurses explained that what I thought was sweat was her body forcing all of it's fluid out through the skin which was a clear sign that she might have only a week or two left. And watching my father holding her hand, sleeping in a chair next to her bed and telling her that it was okay to go.

There were so many wonderful things for my family after we lost Mom. My niece was awarded her PhD in psychology and is well on her way to making a name for herself in her field. My nephew graduated college and is starting to build his own career. My niece got married last October and yesterday she came over to tell us that she and her husband are now expecting their first child. There have been so many things that would have filled Mom with so much joy because there was nothing she loved more than her family. She would already be starting work on knitting a blanket for my niece's baby. When my niece told us, I started crying because all I can think about is how Mom was robbed of this. That her child will never know her great-grandmother and what an amazing person she was.

Mom wasn't just my parent, but one of my very best friends. We did so much together. I took her to see Adam Lambert in concert because we both loved him. We did Civil war reenacting with my dad and I remember the blue dress that she always wore for the first event of the season that ended up in every picture, which we called the FBD (fucking blue dress). I would take her to the Renaissance Faire with me, and dress her up in my spare corset and wench gear. She would read my fanfiction, offering suggestions and edits. We had so many wonderful, funny, amazing moments together and now it's all over. I can't begin to count the number of times when even now, my instinct is to call her from the office and just see how her day was going.

I've been crying a lot lately. A lot of people that have been through a similar loss warned that the pain will never entirely go away. It's long enough that the wound on my heart is now a scar, but it still hurt. I want to reach the point where the memories are bittersweet and not just painful. I want to think of her as she was in life and not those last moments when I lost her. It just hurts that life is going on and she is not a part of it beyond being a memory. It's not fair and I hate that she was taken away from me. It doesn't matter that I'm a woman in her 50s who had my own life. There are still those moments that I just wanted my Mom.

Thanks for listening. It's been a rough few weeks.

#personal stuff #grief journey #dealing with loss

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cf-bundy · 2 years

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Pain hurts but grief alters.

#love poems #potd #poems on tumblr #poets on tumblr #poetry #grief #richard siken #kafka #tragedy #dealing with grief #dealing with loss #dealing with mental health #poetsofficial #poetsandwriters #young poets

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nmolesofadrenaline · 8 months

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barbi3-bitches · 2 months

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Please please help if you can,

Anything will be greatly appreciated!! ❤️

#donate #donate if you can #cancer #loss #loss of a parent #loss of a loved one #gofundme #kidneyhealth #family #grief #dealing with grief #dealing with loss #in honor of

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paynewriting · 3 months

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Posting Again

It's a return to posting after a long absence, and our first posting as the Dyad. We've a pair of poems to share today, and a remaster of an older one. It is admitted a late start to our year of writing, but its a strong part of our return. The first poem we want to share related to the time away, and is part of Alexis processing their feelings about their father's passing.

The next is a very different kind of loss but one that they are still processing none the less. We would have shared it sooner but were waiting for a very nice magazine to very politely decline it.

Finally, we have done a remaster of an old poem, there are some sinister overtones to it, as seen in the book prologue to be (dig into our Kofi to see that), but the biggest change is likely the addition of strict metre, we hope you all enjoy.

Find out more about Teryte, support us, join the community discord, or just dig more into it all.

#writing #fantasy #teryte chronicles #poetry #loss #grief #dealing with grief #dealing with loss #mythopoeia

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spilledkiks · 1 month

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What kills me everyday, is that those photos of You are the last ones… and there will never be more of them.

#spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled feelings #spilled words #spilled writing #spilled emotions #spilled heart #love #spilled love #my poem #loss #dealing with loss

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1-beansss-1 · 4 months

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Dealing with loss..

Simon Petrikov x reader

Background - You used to date the Ice King and you're now dealing with the fact that he's gone and had been replaced with the man he used to be, before the crown, before you..

Warnings - mentions of Suicide, SH, Depression, ED, and Alcohol

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You were just walking around in Ooo when someone picked you up and flew away. You didn't have any plans so you figured you'd go with it.

"What? Who are you?"

"I'm The Ice King, you're a princess right? You sure look like one!"

You blushed a bit.

"No.. not technically.. but that's really sweet!"

"Woah.. you're not trying to get away? Normally princesses try to leave.."

He pulled you closer to him.

"What's your name?"

He looked down at you.

"Oh its Y/N! And yours is Ice King right? Hmm can I call you Icy? It's easier to remember.."

You smiled and looked up at him, you could feel his beard on your face, it was soft. You giggled a bit as it tickled your face, Ice King laughed with you.

"Yeah! Call me whatever.."

You both got to his castle, he landed and zapped ice cuffs on your hands.

"This is a little unnecessary but ok.."

You shrugged, Ice King smiled at you.

"I don't want you to leave, princess"

He said as he pushed you into his ice cage.

"I don't have any plans for today.. but I probably should go home for the night.."

"Wait, you... you want to stay?"

He said tilting his head.

"Why not?"

You woke up and sighed. It hurt to have those dreams, those memories. You missed him, but he would never come back. Ice king had already turned back into Simon Petrikov. You sat up in your bed, groaning slightly. Your phone rang and you looked at who was calling, it was, him, Simon. You put your hands on your head and pulled you legs close to your chest.

"I can't, I can't not him"

You began to sob as your phone rang, crying so much you fell asleep.

You woke up in the Ice King's castle.

"What.. what am I doing here..?"

You saw him laying next to you and you hugged him tightly.

"Princess.."

He mumbled in his sleep. You started to cry. You buried your face in his beard.

"Hey, what's wrong princess?"

"I miss you.. I miss you so much.."

You woke up and shot up in the bed, gripping your chest. You were breathing heavily and tears were streaming down your face.

"Not again..."

You sighed as you wiped your face of tears. You got up and got dressed. You walked to your door, leaving your house. You looked over at the remans of the ice kingdom, your house was sat right next to it. It made you upset that you knew he wasn't in there, a part of you pretended he was still there.

You looked down and sighed, putting your arms around yourself to comfort yourself, but it didn't really work. You walked to the candy tavern and sat at the bar, ordering a drink.

"Everything alright? You've been coming here everyday recently.."

Dirtbeer guy asked as he poured you a drink.

"Yeah.. Everything's great.."

You forced a smile and grabbed your drink, downing it quickly.

"Give me another.."

Dirtbeer guy poored you another and you drank it quickly, you wanted to get drunk, really, really drunk, so you could forget.

You put your head on the table, you felt tipsy but it wasn't enough, you could still have coherent thoughts.

"A..nother.."

You put your hand on the table and grabbed at the air. A drink slid into your hand. You drank it quickly and asked for another. You lost track of how much you drank, every time you're glass got empty another replaced it.

You heard someone sit down next to you and they put a hand on your back.

"Y/N? Are you alright?"

You smiled when you heard a familiar voice. You slowly lifted your head and squinted at the person, there were tears already forming in your eyes.

"I-Icy?"

You grabbed his face and pulled him close to you.

"I'm.. I'm not.."

Simon put his hands on yours, trying to pull you off of him. He felt uncomfortable with you calling him that.

"you shaved? miss y-your beard.."

He tried to pull away from you but your grip got tighter.

"Let go.."

"glasses? Trying something new, icy?"

You smiled and pulled him into a hug.

"missed you sooo much...I..Icy"

You paused for a moment and started crying harder.

"Icy, I'm sorry.. I'm sorry... I couldn't help.. I know you were m-miserable but didn't I help? I'm.. I'm sorry I wasn't enough.."

You held him tighter. Simon let out a sigh and patted your back, he figured he'd act like this if he was in the same situation so he just let you cry into him.

"Oh Icy! I'm sorry.. I'm so..sorry..sorry..I'm s..orry"

You said before passing out, your grip on him loosened. He tried to sit you up straight but when he did that you fell over on the bar.

"How much have they drank? They're really drunk..."

Simon said with a sigh, looking over at you.

Dirtbeer guy shrugged.

"Alright.... I'll.. I'll take them home.."

Simon got up and put you over his shoulder. He was suprised at how light you were but he still struggled a bit when he carried you out of the bar. You started to drool and he shivered in disgust when he felt it going down his back.

"Oh that's.... my shirt...."

He mumbled and continued to walk. He took to his house and laid you down on the couch. He sighed and put a blanket over you. You grabbed his hand in your sleep.

"Icy.. don't leave me.."

You whined in your sleep. He sighed and sat down on the couch.

"I'm not.. I'm not the ice king anymore.. I'm not him.."

Simon looked at you, he knew what he said wouldn't be heard but he felt like saying it, he needed to say it. He stood up, prying your hand from his and went to his room.

In the morning you sat up and grabbed your head, you were hung over. You groaned in pain and opened your eyes, you were confused, not knowing were you were.

"Where...?"

You mumbled quietly to yourself.

"D-Do you need some water?"

Simon smiled at you, he was sitting at the end of the couch. You looked up at him and started to panic.

"You...you.. N-No...No"

You moved away from him, getting up off the couch.

"I can't.. I can't.. not with you.. no no no no"

You started to cry. You leaned forward, your grip on your head tightened and you backed away in a corner, you kept on repeating yourself.

"I-It's alright.. calm down.."

Simon stood up, putting his hand out towards you. You shook your head and ran into a wall behind you.

"NO, NO! I CAN'T I-"

You sunk to the floor, tucking your legs to your chest.

"I.. I can't.. you.."

Your voice broke and it was shakey, your body trembled. Simon moved closer towards you and sat on the floor.

"Calm down.. it's alright.."

You looked up at him, you looked angry.

"HOW IS THIS ALRIGHT? YOU Y.. you look so much like him it hurts..but you're not him.. you not.."

You put your face on your knees and started to cry harder. Simon felt uncomfortable being compared to him.

"You're not.."

He put a hand on your sholder.

"I know.. I know.. I've lost someone too.."

You started to laugh while you cried.

"Yeah but you don't have to worry about seeing someone who used to be her.. you don't have to worry about seeing someone who looks so much like her but so different.. you don't.."

Your voice broke.

"Oh Grod!"

You started to cry harder, you put a hand over your face.

"I-I can't.."

Simon sighed, a part of him still loved you, it hurt him to see you like this. He got closer to you and leaned on the wall behind him.

"You know.. I miss betty so much.. I would do anything to see her again.. she sacrificed herself for me so I could have a better life.. but.. I don't know if I can have a life without her"

You sniffed and looked over to him.

"..I..I met Betty.. she was nice..

"You did?"

Simon asked as he looked at you with a smile on his face. You stopped crying as much and wiped your face.

"Yeah.. Icy liked her too.. I guess that was you trying to come out.. I was sooo jealous.."

You wiped your face and smiled a bit at him as you reminisced about the past.

"Icy tried to reassure me that nothing was going on.. but I saw his eyes.. your eyes.. it was pure love.."

Simon looked over at you, he listened to your words carefully.

"Do you remember? Oh, she tried and tried to get you back.. she actually told me who you were before.... I was too selfish to put it together on my own.. I think a part of me knew but.."

You paused, looking away from him and let out a sigh, you weren't crying anymore but you still felt upset.

"It's just a blur.. can you remind me?"

You nodded and looked back over at him.

"Betty got the power of magic man's hat, she went kinda crazy.. actually she kidnapped me once, talking about how I should stay away from her simon.."

You chuckled a bit. Simon blushed, thinking of Betty saying that. He moved his glasses off of his face and dried his damp eyes.

"She told me everything.. and I tried to help.. I didn't want to lose Icy but I knew he... uh.. you were miserable... even with my help.."

You looked up at the ceiling, tears started to fall from your face again.

"Do you remember me at all?"

He put a hand on your sholder.

"I.. I remember that he loved you...I remember that you were running through his head all the time, calling you prin-."

"Don't say that.. please.."

You cut him off, even hearing that word hurt, but hearing him say that would hurt way worse. He nodded.

"Sorry.."

You both sat in silence for a moment the two of you had tears falling from your eyes. You glanced over at him and moved closer to him.

"S-Simon.. don't cry.."

You reached out to wipe his tears away. Tou smiled slightly, it reminded you of when you would comfort The Ice King. You moved away quickly when you thought that. He sighed not knowing what to say. You looked up at the clock, it was a bit late in the day. You let out a sigh, feeling like you overstayed your welcome and stood up abruptly.

"I should leave..."

You looked over at simon, he looked confused. He thought you were feeling a bit better.

"Um.. thank you for taking care of me while I was drunk.. and um.. sorry.."

You walked out quickly before he could say anything. You were fidgeting with your hands as you walked home. When you got home you threw yourself on the snow, the cold comforted you.

"I-It still hurts to see him..."

You grabbed a handful of snow and formed a ball.

"Icy.. I miss you.."

You looked at the snowball in your hand and sighed. You got up and let go of the snowball. You walked into your house, looking at the kitchen. You couldn't remember the last time you ate, you were to sad to eat. You shook your head and continued to look around.

"When did it get so messy?"

You sighed, putting a hand on your head and walked to your bedroom. You fell onto the bed, your legs were hanging off of it. You yawned and closed your eyes, falling asleep.

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#adventure time fanfic #adventure time simon #adventure time fionna and cake #adventure time ice king #adventure time #fionna and cake fanfic #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #simon petrikov x reader #ice king #the ice king #ice king x reader #fanfic #tw self destructive behavior #tw s3lf harm #dealing with loss

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