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in the midst of all the chaos i sometimes forget that cas saying ‘i love you’ to Dean is real honest to god thing that happened… like, it was aired on television !!??!!! castiel genuinely said to dean winchester I Love You and I’m supposed to come to terms with the fact I live in world where that exists ??

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Last. Minute. Gays. Kill. My. Cool!

You wanna know what show was kinda cringe in the acting at first but is still a masterpiece with a satisfying and fantastic finale? Shadowhunters.

Shadowhunters ends (spoiler alert) with Alec and Magnus, two amazing, groundbreaking gay and bisexual men of opposite sides getting married in front of everyone they know. They got together in the first season and as rocky as it was for them, as much heartbreak they endured together and apart, in the end they united in marriage in front of pretty much everyone who disapproved of them. Because they were in love, and they weren’t exactly quiet about their attraction to each other from the moment they first met.

That’s how you write an LGBTQ+ character with respect. Even in the books their love story is one to be admired.

Then we have shows like Andi Mack and Supernatural (just to name a few), who queerbait and subtext the love between the two before throwing it in at basically or literally the last episode ever, as fan service or so they don’t have to think about it anymore.

On the last episode of Andi Mack (spoiler alert), a (semi) openly gay character, Cyrus, and a closted character named TJ admitted their love for each other. In the last episode. The start of their story together wrapped up in the ending of the show, never to return. This one I’ll let slide because it’s amazing to see positive queer representation in a kids show, but come on.

Second last episode of a 15 season show (supernatural, again, spoiler alert), one of the main characters, Castiel, admits his love for Dean. Then, he is LITERALLY KILLED OFF AND DEAN DOESN’T RISPROCATE. I’d understand if Dean simply didn’t feel the same, but WHAT WAS ALL THE SHITTY QUEERBAITNG AND SubTeXT FOR? I don’t understand.

Why not make a long-standing admirable relationship between the two? Magnus and Alec got their love story, where is Cyrus and TJ’s? Where’s Dean and Castiel’s? Hell, where is Hannibal and Will’s love story at? You can’t make two characters so openly into one another and be like “yes, they like each other more than a friend.. but” no. No but.

Hannibal and Will had a complicated, beautiful, deep, intriguing and interesting love story. A man who can’t help but love a monster and is conflicted between wanting to care about what and who Hannibal is and what he’s done to him, but simply can’t, continuing to come back to the monster. And then we have a man who despite all odds found someone he felt comfortable letting in, someone who somehow slipped though the walls he built, someone he sees potential in and can’t help but feel love and compassion for. A relationship with substance, one that could prove to be something more than just fan service. A love story where it makes sense that they could never have what they truely want, and that’s to be together peacefully.

Will understood that Hannibal was in love with him and it didn’t deter him, in fact it drew him closer and he used that to fight Hannibal because despite his deep love for him, he knew that his morals wouldn’t allow him to sit back and watch people die because he’s too selfish to let Hannibal go. Because he wanted to join him.

Now that is a love story.

I hate the lack of representation in shows like supernatural! They kill off every gay character and I’m sick of it.


Anyway, rant over.

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Frankie Goes to Hollywood: The Power of Love is a Destiel anthem sorry I don’t make the rules.

What has become of me?! I’m a mess! 😂

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      I’m not going to say a lot about this, but I feel I need to at least say something. I stopped watching SPN awhile ago. When the show became very much a walking libertarian ideological playground, and the constant faux woke shit, I couldn’t take it anymore. I already made my peace that Destiel would NEVER be canon, and took the words of tptb, that Destiel would ALWAYS be subtext, and they are “happy” to cater to shippers that way. I said typical and moved on. The more I watched, the more it hurt to watch. I felt used and dirty. The only reason I kept watching is because I invested sooooo many years into this series. As well as my support for the actors, but then that became an issue. 

       As the show went on, as choices by the actors were made, as I became more cognoscente of the world I live in, and the serious decline and rise of fascism in the world, this show became public enemy number one. It left a bad taste in my mouth.   And the choices of the actors I supported became problematic for me. This is NOT and attack on them, it’s just how I feel, pls respect that. I’ve seen a lot of outrage and cancel culture coming for the show after said finale, but I also see, like most times, real voices trying to be heard and taken seriously beneath the ruckus. They have something substantive to say. Many stans are choosing far more to simp for their fave then to actually take the time to truly understand the issue. In a time of homophobia, hate, ignorance, and fascism, you would think these stans would take a moment to not DEFEND the actors, but listen to the concerns. The actors will be fine, they are white and privileged, and no, it doesn’t matter if they are part of the lgbt community, or allies, no one is beyond criticisms. One thing that needs to be understood, is if you are NOT apart of an offended community, any apology to said community is NOT YOURS to forgive! PERIOD! And I see a lot of that!

      That brings me to Misha. First: SPN has failed the Bechdel test, has failed to represent the LGBT+ community correctly, or with respect, it has failed poc. FAILED! I don’t expect much from actors, and I never expected much from J2, but Misha has always been a brave, and it shouldn’t be considered brave, a brave voice when it came to this show. Things became sour with me and regards to Misha, when he supported ICE! YES, that ICE. Things became sour, when he began uplifting centrist politicians whom care more about continuing money in politics, then helping those most in need, suppressed, and oppressed. Politicians far more concerned with party then policy and the people. I can forgive this ignorance do to the nature of American politics. Wealthy people do what wealthy people do, stay woefully ignorant. But despite Misha’s political failures, what broke the Camels back for me, was his statement regarding the series and it’s finale. It was the most un Misha thing I ever thought I’d see. Many stans are choosing to do PR for him, and make excuses for what he said, and trying to smooth things over, while woefully choosing to gaslight through their posts, and ignore the true concerns, and forcing forgiveness because their adorable muffin shouldn’t be hurting, and he said sorry. Oh poor poor Misha. 

      No! Nope! Nah! Firstly, no one should be attacking Misha, and I’m glad I’m not really seeing that. I’m happy to see so many trying to educate him, and actually reaching him to release a statement, correcting his mistake, which he did in the way the Misha I knew would, despite him becoming unrecognizable to me as of late, as well as disappointing. His previous statement was filled with bs. So much gaslighting, and revisionist history, and disregard of the issue and concerns of what fans were pointing out. I was shocked. Not Misha, he would never, but he DID. Either he was so brainwashed that he actually convinced himself this was the truth, or he was working us. I want to believe the ladder, but I don’t know who he is anymore. 

        I have a lot of beliefs, and theories. Things that answer so many of my concerns, and shines a light on this situation in ways that some won’t or won’t ever see. I can’t imagine the confusion for those who don’t hold my opinion, or view on this situation. Because of what I believe, things for me just hurt more. Every interview the actors do, every lie they tell, every choice they make, made it very hard for me. I had to walk completely away. Next to Merther and JohnLock, Destiel was magic. That magic had died for me. It can’t be unseen or unknown. Even in fanfiction, I can’t unsee it. They were ruined for me, and this situation is fucked up. As perfect as Misha’s response was, all I see are manipulations, and I can’t help feel that we are being humored more than listened to. 

     I would love nothing more than for the stans to stop simping, and also listen, the way Misha is seemingly doing. All I see is them defending, instead of listening. I don’t understand why Misha made this statement. It wasn’t his responsibility to do damage control for a hate filled ignorant show. His statements weren’t to make us feel better, it was in defense. Defense against our concerns. When ever we’ve felt this way, he was right there with us, and now he abandoned us. He now sits with egg on his face. Rightfully so. This is practically a JohnLock finale all over again, but even they had a better ending then this BS. Unfortunately Martin Freemen also pulled a Misha. The only difference is Freeman never apologized, and chose to once again gaslight. If you asked me that we would be here at the finale in this way, I’d say you were nuts. I would says, yes, the finale would look EXACTLY like what happened, but I would have never seen Misha defend it, or Jensen hating it. This blog no longer supports Misha, Desitel, cockles, mishalecki or SPN. I wish everyone well. I hope that things one day work out if they can, but I do believe this will forever be IT!

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today i have read several thousand words about time stamps and frames per second on italian footage– things that i literally did not give a fuck about until this morning. this is really what it’s come down to

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4x22 - Lucifer Rising 

And here we get the exchange that set Cas on his journey of learning to recognise right from wrong by caring for the whole world, because of Dean, and where Cas remodelling Heaven thanks to lessons learned - and to ready it for Dean, because it’s the Heaven Dean deserves - tells us just how far Cas has moved away from his initial idea and understanding of Paradise, and that he has a full grasp on what true peace actually means.

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Regarding the Italian dub leak

That’s a scene from 7x21 and it’s the only scene I can recall where Cas says “Mi dispiace, Dean” (I’m sorry, Dean), which is the last thing he says in the leak before shoving Dean. I’m not sure if they sound exactly the same. I think I can hear a slightly longer pause before “Dean” in this one, but I can’t say for sure. So, do whatever you want with this information. 

If you remember any other scene where Cas says “I’m sorry, Dean”, let me know and I’ll check the Italian dub

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HBO destiel, scenarios and dialogues.

In which, angels have to feed grace to heal people, and Dean is addict to Cas’ grace ((not my original idea))

  • Dean gets addicted to Cas’ grace after he saves him from hell and gives it to him because he was week
  • Dean having a taste for Cas’ grace but doesn’t KNOW what it is
  • Dean seeks to search for the food that’s the same taste as the grace
  • Dean getting confused when Cas tells him what the taste in his mouth and throat is, so Cas tells to suck on his neck, since its already opened and the grace is already flowing out of it
  • Dean unable to stop sucking on Cas’ neck
  • Cas low-key enjoys Dean’s sucking on his neck so he doesn’t stop him
  • He eventually stands his ego down because he wants that grace and he wants it from Cas’ unhealed neck, no other way.
  • Dean is badly addict to Cas’ grace but holds up to his ego and doesn’t surrender easily.
  • Dean noticing that Cas’ grace doesn’t let him get drunk or high, or not as much as he likes.
  • “You fucking think you can hide from me, Cas? I have you fucking grace in my throat, Cas you’ll have to do better than that”, Dean chuckles as he feels Cas’ presence in the room, whichout even opening his eyes.
  • “No, its not good for you!”, Cas yells in decline when Dean asks for his grace. “Why?” Dean narrows his eyes. “Ita not healthy. You are to dependent on my grace, you do perform pointless stunts in order to injure yourself”, Cas’ voice drops to a wispher, a dark shadow acrosses his face, and disappears.
  • Whenever Dean sees a weapon, all he can think of its a way to injure himself.
  • “Why did I even give a fuck?” Cas rolls his eyes at Dean when he answers his prayer, only to find out its just a paper scratch.
  • Dean refusing to have sex with with Cas unless he feeds him his grace.
  • Human Cas feeling acutely the taste of his own grace when Dean kisses him, since the taste remains on his lips.
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