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melancholyandfrogs · 2 years

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Harry Potter and the Unfortunate Rewriting

(aka the worst collection of fanfiction about every one of my fav hp ships and, spoiler, I have a lot)

For ordering it, I go in chronological order of when the fic would be taking place - and I will be updating this as I update/finish the fics. To start out we have:

Marauder’s Era

moonlight looks good on you (unless you're Remus Lupin)

Remus John Lupin x Sirius Orion Black

finished fic / 7.6k words

wolfstar friends to lovers

I love them so much

marauder shenanigan's

heartbreaking end

has a sequel where they’re older and happy

“Moony,” Sirius whines, bumping the back of his head against his boyfriend’s chest as the lazy werewolf wraps an arm around his middle and. “Pay attention to me.”

Remus huffs and leans further back against the wall, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth to flip the page of his book. Smoke comes out as he breathes. “You’re on top of me, Pads.”

The rambunctious Gryffindor wiggles back against his boyfriend, and tenses immediately as he lets out a growl and his arm tightens.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I want attention, Moony, give me attention.” Sirius continues to demand, tilting his head up to meet Remus’ amber eyes. “If James was here he’d give me attention. So would Dorcas!” His boyfriend scoffs. “Now you’re pushing it.”

patience isn’t a virtue (unless you’re James Potter)

James Fleamont Potter x Lily Jade Evans

finished fic / 5.4k words

jily slowburn

marauder shenanigan's

baby harry and it’s very cute

they die in the end

has a sequel where they come back to life lol

He asks her shyly, and politely, if they could name the baby after them, and maybe Sirius or Remus.

“What do you want to name them?” Lily asks, rubbing her stomach. “It has to be better than Bambi.”

“Of course.” James, grinning, rolls his eyes before gulping, features taking a more sincere look. “My papa’s name is-”

“Fleamont, your middle name.” She says matter of fact.

He ignores that she interrupted and continues. ��Right, he said it was tradition for the middle name of a male in our family to take their father’s name, instead of just having the first names be the same. But Papa’s middle name was Hari -we can make it more English.”

Lily smiles, looking down to her stomach. “So, Hari or Harry James for a boy-”

“Harry James?” She didn’t think he should have been able to look as surprised as he was. “What about Sirius?”

“It’s tradition, James.” Lily scolds, huffing at him. “I know you love Sirius but we can name another kid after him, where the middle name won’t be tradition important.”

Only because she knows him so well can she tell that James is blushing. “You want more?”

Green eyes roll at him. “I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t.”

Rebellion Era - Side to Golden Era

loyalty doesn’t mean forgiveness (unless you’re Zacharias Smith)

Zacharias Hepzibah Smith x Theodore Tiberius Nott

uncompleted fic

childhood friends to reluctant lovers

good slytherins & bad hufflepuffs

they’re happy in the end

theodore nott has my heart

Without anyone really knowing how, Sirius Black himself snuck into Hogwarts and broke into the Gryffindor dormitory. Everyone is in a panic but the Slytherin is more annoyed than anything -especially when most of the teachers are only concerned about Potter instead of the entire school, instead of his friends or Quidditch team, instead of the person a mass murderer would actually kill.

When all the students are sleeping on the floor of the great hall, Theodore lays down between Zach and a much too cold wall, but that doesn't matter. He felt better when he was next to Zach, protecting him.

“Theo?” Zach murmurs, turning over on his mat, pressing his cheek against the Slytherin’s shoulder, warming his entire side. “Are you still awake?”

“Of course,” Theodore mutters back, wrapping his arm around his best friend’s side. “Since when am I asleep before you?”

He shrugs, scooting even closer, placing his hand over the one Theodore has on his chest -effectively using him like one of his teddy bears (that he’s damn sure he still has on his bed in the Hufflepuff dormitory).

“Never.”

“Exactly.”

There’s a few moments of silence, moments where they’re both just breathing together, and then Zach is burying himself completely in Theodore’s side, giving up all hopes of retaining dignity in favor of cuddling with the older boy.

“I’m scared.” He says quietly, and then, “Don’t let go… please.”

Theodore nods, resting his head on the blond’s while he speaks. “I won’t.”

The entire night, he sticks to his words like a promise (and to him, it is).

respect doesn’t equal love (unless you’re Fleur Delacour)

William Arthur Weasley x Fleur Isabelle Delacour

uncompleted fic

bleur slowburn

fleur is a badass

charlie weasley is an asexual menace

bill and tonks are best friends

it goes over their entire relationship

Bill turns back to Fleur. “Is your mum okay with all of this?”

Unceremoniously, Fleur shrugs. “She has to be, I’m eighteen and she doesn’t really have a choice.”

“Yes, but it is always quite nice to get acceptance of our actions from our parents.” At his words, her want to seem more independent without consoling her parents mom dulls down, and Fleur realizes that Bill truly doesn’t care how much she talks to her mother, as long as she’s happy with it.

He’s a family man, he always will be, and he knows that she would tell her mother about this and he knows that she would have strong opinions.

Like always, Bill is looking out for her and guiding her into the right direction without even realizing that he’s doing it.

laughter can’t solve everything (unless you’re George Weasley)

George Fabian Weasley x Angelina Johnson x Lee Jordan

uncompleted fic (it’s gonna be short)

humor and fluff is the point of this fic

george x lee = idiots/best friends to lovers

george x angelina = enemies to lovers, idiot x smart

lee x angelina = brat falls in love with intimidating person

they all use humor/sarcasm to cope

I can’t get over this possibility

"And Wood gets the Quaffle back from out of bounds, and spins to face the rings once more. Johnson, now distracted, lets Wood throw it through the middle! Ten points to Wood! Great Merlin, now Weasley- -the better looking one, mind you all- -has the Quaffle! He's punting it across the stadium with his Beater's bat and-"

Lee squawks loudly into the microphone and dodges out of the way as the Quaffle smacks dead into the space he was moments before, loud feedback ringing out into his ears.

Magical or not, a microphone is a microphone.

“You’re not getting this back! Twenty points from Weasley!” Lee flips George off while tucking the Quaffle under one arm, and in good spirits his best friend flips him off right back. “That puts Wood in the lead, thirty points up from a negative on Weasley, meanwhile Johnson’s still guarding those rings -never mind that, folks, she’s flying right out here. Look at her, she’s bloody gorgeous!”

Angelina comes to a stop right in front of Lee, lips twisted into a scowl. “Give me the ball back, Jordan.”

Lee stands his ground. “Ask nicely, Johnson, and then maybe. ”

It’s when Angelina steps off her broom onto the stand end, jumping onto the stadium next to him that her presence truly gets intimidating. Grabbing his chin with one hand and the Quaffle with the other, she says “Stop being such a brat.” before dropping him with a small push and taking to the air again.

competition isn’t real passion (unless you’re Oliver Wood)

Oliver Benjamin Wood x Marcus Flint

uncompleted fic (it’s gonna be short)

good slytherin doesn’t mean nice slytherin

so much tension

epitome of enemies to lovers

oliver wood is neurotic

marcus flint is an asshole

“I don’t give a bloody fuck, Wood-”

“And I don’t care either.” Standing his ground, Oliver glares at the Slytherin. “We’re just going to have to deal with each other’s presence. You’re not getting rid of me.”

“Blimey you’re stubborn, but that’s typical of a Gryffindor.” Flint sighs. “As long as we’re out here, I could use you as good target practice, and you, well Merlin knows your ring guarding needs work.”

That small challenge was enough to get Oliver to his feet. “I’m agreeing, but I don’t think you’re any less of a bigoted tosser, Flint.”

“And don’t think I think you’re any less of a reckless arse, Wood.”

Now it was a competition -who could block or score on the other most, who was the better Quidditch player. Flint knew how to push his buttons to get what he wanted, and the headstrong boy fell right into his trap.

But Oliver doesn’t care.

Competition is exactly what he wanted.

Golden Trio Era

sacrifice doesn’t mean i love you (unless you’re Draco Malfoy)

Harry James Potter x Draco Lucius Malfoy

uncompleted fic (it’s gonna be long)

slowburn

enemies to friends to lovers

harry is a little shit

malfoy is also a little shit, a tad misunderstood

at parts heartbreaking

very worth it

Draco Malfoy was laughing at the Slytherin table early in the morning for breakfast at something that Pansy Parkinson was saying when Harry passed by them -they sat in the front next to the professors, and he had to cross the room to get to the Gryffindor table after all, it’s not he had another reason to walk all the way down there.

He’s laughing, and he has dimples.

And all of a sudden, Harry is blurting out that he has a nice smile and he feels mortified because Malfoy’s expression immediately goes blank and oh Merlin he just fucked up.

The Slytherin students are staring between them like Harry had lost his mind and worried like Malfoy was about to hex them- -not counting Blaise who grinned like he just won the lottery- -but the damage was already done and it made him suck in a breath.

Sticking true to his word and trying to play it off, Harry continues.

“Really Malfoy, smile more, first it suits you and-”

Quickly racking his brain for an insult, and finding not a single thing, just panic made static, he just flushes brightly and takes to stammering.

“And, well, -you’re always scowling. It’s-”

Deciding that he’s about to die from embarrassment over it all, Harry bolts across the room and slams himself down in place against Ron and Ginny. Across the table, Hermione looked worried but Fred snickered so loud that it drew looks from the neighboring Ravenclaw table.

i’m sorry isn’t a confession (unless you’re Hermione Granger)

Hermione Jean Granger x Fredrick Gideon Weasley

uncompleted fic

friends to lovers

using humor to cope

idiot x genius trope that I love

it just fits so well ahh

fred is literally my favorite

The next year of Hogwarts started with so much excitement and cheering amongst the students that it gave Hermione a headache. She and Ginny just wanted to gossip and laugh together most days, not be shoved in the halls (though Ginny shoved back) and mocked by older students for not being able to put their name in the Goblet of Fire.

Not that either of them cared -it wasn’t in their interests to be the champion.

The same couldn’t be said for the Weasley boys, however, and especially not the twins who apparently, not even a week after the Triwizard Tournament was announced, brewed up some silly little concoction to trick the age-line Dumbledore drew into letting them put their name in instead of just asking some seventh year that owes them a favor.

“It won’t work.” Hermione calls teasingly, as Ginny scolds them both while Harry and Ron watch in amusement.

Fred tsks at her, finger clipping her chin up, “Au contraire, H’mione, I think it will do wonders.”

With a scoff and the sharp snap of her closing book, Hermione smacks his hand away but it only makes him laugh and wink while turning back to his equally as giddy twin, locking arms and downing the potion without a second thought.

“Bottom’s up!”

fighting won’t make him love you (unless you’re Ron Weasley)

Ronald Bilius Weasley x Blaise Elias Zabini

uncompleted fic

enemies to fuck buddies to lovers

tall protective one x short mean one

ron is the heart of harry potter don’t say otherwise

good slytherins

“I’m not the only arse here, Weasley, go check in the mirror.” Though he responded as such, for some reason he found the angry flush rising along the Gryffindor’s cheeks horribly attractive at worst and mildly amusing at best.

“Oh bugger off-”

“Need to talk about it?”

Weasley’s body freezes and blue eyes blink at him, and for a few moments he’s so still that he could have been petrified before he visibly gulps and responds in a choked voice. “What?”

Blaise shrugs and suddenly realizes that he has absolutely no explanation, other than maybe he’s spent too much time around Pansy when she’s had all her breakdowns recently.

“Are you being…” Weasley’s nose scrunches, and it makes it look like the freckles which are splattered all over his body squish together along either side of his straight nose. “Nice?”

Scoffing loudly, Blaise actually jumps down from the viewing window and raises a black eyebrow at the other boy. “Now you’re just imagining things. However this time, I was mocking you, surprised you didn’t pick that up. Dull as always, Weasley.”

Puffing out an annoyed breath, fogging in the cold air, Weasley rolls his eyes and mutters out “Whatever.” even as the angry flush starts to die down and the tension reduces along his shoulders.

Part of Blaise is a little pissed at him for helping the ‘enemy’ and the other part of him is thankful for it. Part of him makes him think that means he could still be a good person. A bigger part of him wants to go back to the Slytherin dormitories and chew out Pansy.

weird isn’t a compliment (unless you’re Luna Lovegood)

Luna Pandora Lovegood x Ginevra Molly Weasley

uncompleted fic

linny slowburn

one-sided enemies to friends to lovers

ginny is a reckless queen and luna is a goddess

their relationship is so cute to me

ginny & harry, luna & draco friendship

they fight for one another in their own ways

Some people just tended to be a little too wild for neat things. Ginny was one of them. Luna was okay with that, it reminded her of Blibbering Humdingers that she believed fancied Professor Sprout’s garden enough she refused to tend to it.

Other days Ginny would kick and bounce through the grass, talking about anything and everything there was while Luna laid face-down in the grass outside the greenhouses they were currently ignoring their responsibilities in, and she inhaled the earth while her friend struggled to breath through her words.

“If you’re not careful, you’ll end up like the Gulping Plimpies.” Luna warns briefly, though she doesn’t believe that Ginny could ever get that bad. If the twins- -George and Fred- -hadn’t yet, she couldn’t possibly.

“Yeah, and pigs will fly and the sky will turn purple.” Snorting, Ginny replies but her quiet mumbling immediately after is enough to make Luna glance up to find her wand tracing through the air with the end bubbling an odd green-blue as it lights up at the same moment.

“Would you prefer being a Dabber Blimp? You’d make a lovely one.”

“Nope.”

you can’t live off compassion (unless you’re Neville Longbottom)

Neville Longbottom x Hannah Abbott

uncompleted fic (it’s gonna be short)

hufflepuff pride

neville is secretly a badass

mostly end-of-war stuff

hella fluff

they’re simple as a pair and I love it

Despite knowing after all these years that she wouldn't understand, that she won't remember the next time he visits and barely knows who he is (if she knows at all) Neville takes his mother's hands in his and says, "I'm in love with someone, Mum." Neville finds himself ranting to empty air. "She's... she's so understanding. She's great. She's my age, a Hufflepuff. God, Mum, she's so strong. One of the most impressive women I've ever met, alongside Ginny -I've talked about her before to you. The only Weasley girl? You know here. Anyway, you'll really like her. Her name's Hannah Abbott... I want to propose to her, what do you think?"

She blinks heavily at him before scowling, shaking her head as her husband animatedly moves behind her. "I've told you a thousand times, dear," Her words slur almost intangibly. "You have to do the dishes before you take out the dog."

“I know, Mum.” Neville smiles back.

He tells her about how he's finishing school, and then taking over Professor Sprout's position as the Herbology Professor after a year of being her assistant. No reaction. He tells her how badly Hannah wants to meet them, and that he's already met her parents. No reaction. He tells her that when he's stable with his job, and maybe has a bit more of his mind together, he'll marry her. No reaction.

Frank Longbottom has only said three things to his son over his entire life-

“The sun is too dark.” when he was six.

“You look just like my mother.” when he was twelve.

And finally, “I’m sure one day, you’ll find the right spot.” when he was seventeen, and came to see them as a goodbye in case the war didn’t go in his favor.

Today wouldn’t be the day, and Neville wouldn’t be the person. Yet after he’s said his goodbyes and is talking to the squip at the front desk who monitors them, double checking with her that it is indeed okay to bring Hannah, or invite the Potter’s, a firm hand is gripping his shoulder.

Startled, Neville stumbles slightly in step as he turns and finds Frank staring at him with a frown and Alice mumbling incoherently behind him, dragged by the bunched sleeve of her robes.

“Take these.” His father says, speaking strongly and un-slurred as he holds his hand out, two rings- -their wedding rings- -on the palm of his hand. “For the wedding.”

hand holding doesn’t mean i love you (unless you’re Dean Thomas)

Dean Thomas x Seamus Finnigan

finished oneshot / 3.5k words

deanmus slowburn

childhood friends to lovers

quiet tall x loud small

their height difference is adorable

dean is an artist, period

you can’t tell me that they’re not canon

Admittedly, Seamus’s uniform was always scruffy and untidy, making him look like a slob especially after a particularly explosive time in class. After he had been fighting, he looked his absolute worst -worse than he’s ever been at the end of his pyromaniac tendencies.

His face had been battered and bruised by the Carrow’s to an extent that Dean couldn’t recognize him until he spoke with his distinct Irish accent.

Dean quickly uses Episkey and a quick stamina charm, and tucks Seamus into his arms for a quick shared kiss before diving back into battle, pushing his boyfriend towards where Professor Vector was casting hexes left and right with a sneer -safe behind his teacher as he runs down along the bloodied grass calling Colin and Neville’s name.

Rebirth Era - End of Golden Era

the veil isn’t thin (unless you’re Sirius Black) / update when it comes out

Remus John Lupin x Sirius Orion Black James Fleamont Potter x Lily Jade Evans

unpublished fic

established wolfstar & jily

from POA - DH - post war

sirius is pulled from the veil and brings james/lily with him

both couples have a set of twins, wolfstar through tonks

james and lily get to parent harry, it’s amazing

they help end the war they started

hurt/comfort, anti major character death

When Sirius points his wand at Peter, ready to kill, and Harry Potter- -James' boy, his godson, the boy he pledged himself to raise, the boy he cares about more than anything- -throws himself in front of Peter to keep him and Remus to stop him from doing so he says, well, he says- "I don't reckon my dad would've wanted his best friends to become killers."

And it made Sirius freeze, gave Remus pause.

Because he's wrong, James would have killed Peter knowing what he knows, he would have done anything to defend Lily, to protect Harry. He would not have backed down, and yet Sirius does at this moment.

Because Harry's wrong, and right now he's the furthest from James' son, and Remus knows better than either of them that this- -his words, his absolute kindness and ruthless way he insists upon mercy, that fierce insistence of true justice- -was all Lily.

Lily wouldn't want them to kill Peter, not James. Lily.

So they didn't.

healing doesn’t mean change (unless you’re Lavender Brown) / update when it comes out

Lavender Elizabeth Brown x Parvati Patil

unpublished fic (it’s gonna be short)

childhood friends to lovers

werewolf lavender

patil twin drama

hurt/comfort

“No matter what you are, what shape you’re in, Lav, I promise, I promise that I will love you.” Parvati says fiercely, holding her girlfriend’s face between both hands. The eye contact makes her seem much too honest, much too overwhelming. “I love you and that will never change. Stop thinking otherwise.”

Recovery Era - Before Next Gen

frayed pictures are worthless (unless you’re Dennis Creevey) / update when it comes out

Dennis Cooper Creevey x Elaine Tyra Zabini - fandom oc

unpublished fic

hurt/comfort

good slytherins

overprotective wild one x anxious sad one

I’m not over Collin Creevey’s death, are you?

adorable ending

After he lost his brother, Dennis doesn’t quite know what to do with himself. Nothing is the same anymore, and now people say that’s a good thing… but it doesn’t feel like a good thing. It feels lonely.

When they talk about his brother’s death, they talk about Colin how they first met him -like the scrawny little kid who liked to jumpscare people with flash photography, the small second year who held the door open and let people come and go in and out of the Gryffindor common room for fifteen minutes before politely excusing himself, the twelve year old who was full of life and excited about everything, and how they can barely picture him as that sixteen year old boy who ran head first into battle, snarl on his lips and wand ready only to die.

Because Colin did die.

But he didn’t die as that scared little kid, he died in the middle of battle, he died fighting for everything he believed in. He died a hero. He died with a glare, a snarl and a shout; he did not go with tears or a smile. He died so that his family would finally get retribution, he died so that all his friends could live, he died to protect his little brother.

Yet in doing so, he left all those people behind.

He left Dennis behind.

persistence isn’t worth it (unless you’re a Malfoy) - an oc fic

Cepheus Abraxas Malfoy x Lincoln Septimus Weasley draco’s little brother arthur/molly’s nephew, ron’s little cousin

uncompleted fic

straight romance and they’re adorable

a malfoy in hufflepuff

hufflepuff pride

the goal is to gain a patronus

they banter and flirt the same amount

Cepheus -he feels like right now, all those rumors about how ruthless and cunning Malfoy’s really can be are true.

The massive white dragon flies and turns, spinning around and knocks the mannequin over with its massive tail, taking up nearly all of the space in the room as it turns to face him with a deep growl shaking the room.

The Hufflepuff finds himself sobbing at the dragon’s feet, and the giant beast curls around him, covering him with giant, whispery silver wings as it puffs out breaths that wipe the tears from its castor’s cheeks.

From the corner of the room, the door bangs open and in barges Lincoln, who stops dead in his tracks at the sight. “Ceph…” He says, voice breaking.

The dragon stands, taking Cepheus with it and only stops when it can rest its snout on Lincoln’s forehead. Around him, the white wisps disappear and Cepheus finds himself crying against his boyfriend's chest.

Apparently, even to his innately magical side, Lincoln is just as good a protector as the Patronus, and now that he’s safe, there’s no reason for him to be casting one anymore.

I hope you all like these descriptions / found something new to read - also please tell me about any other fics about obscure hp pairings I could make/why you like them

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