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goldiipond · 1 year

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ray tpn is autistic and i'm gonna tell you why now

ray is one of the most heavily autistic-coded characters i can think of, and i've been wanting to write up a post going over as many of his autistic mannerisms as i can because there is a lot. this will probably be long because i am also autistic and i am especially autistic about ray, so please enjoy while i psychoanalyze this anime boy with way more scrutiny than anyone would consider healthy <3

body language

perhaps one of the strongest arguments for ray's autism can be made by looking at his body language. ray tries to keep a stoic, neutral expression and voice the majority of the time (though he's often quite. bad at that too) but he is always extremely expressive through his movements and gestures, the most noticeable of which being the use of his hands. pretty much every character uses hand gestures, but ray is ridiculously excessive. it'd take frankly way too long to compile every instance of this (or even half) throughout the manga, so here's a small collection of gestures from s1 of the anime to give an idea:

note that this is not even close to all of them and that he's exactly like this in the manga as well, though the animation and its use of snappy, exaggerated movements does help to make these much more noticeable.

moving away from his hands there's also just a lot of really expressive full-body language as well, such as this friendly chokehold:

this dramatic shrug:

and this even more dramatic flop:

just to name a few. basically, ray has a thing for grand unnecessary movements and no one is surprised.

poor emotional regulation and masking

as i mentioned before, ray tries really really hard to bottle up his emotions and keep a sort of stoic persona during his time at gracefield. he's also really really bad at doing this. not terrible, as he was able to keep up a believable enough front that none of the other kids saw anything odd about his behavior for 6 years, but that's also because he deals with so much more stress once the events of the escape arc actually get going. there is a stark difference between his quiet and detached demeanor while emma and norman are still in the dark about the house, and him nearly having a meltdown every time something strays from his meticulously crafted plans while they actually begin making their preparations to escape over the course of the arc.

just a few examples of this include him nearly having a breakdown when emma insists on taking everyone:

or one of my favorite anime exclusive moments where he strains his voice while yelling at isabella to the point he breaks into a coughing fit:

and it's not just big flashy meltdowns, but little bursts of anger as well. shoutout to this moment in particular where he launches this bucket with enough force to tear up a bit of the damn ground:

this emotional instability can be seen after the escape as well, the most glaring example being how he interacts with yuugo:

their dynamic in general really does a good job of showing ray’s mental state after the escape, because pre-goldy pond yuugo is An Asshole. and ray is so, so easy to piss off and quite frankly tired from bottling up his emotions for so long that every interaction with said asshole is a massive struggle to keep himself from physically attacking him.

as for the topic of masking, that’s what ray’s attempts to hide his emotions feel like to me. ray is constantly in danger of losing isabella’s trust, whether that be by revealing he may be a little more attached to the other kids than he lets on or by showing too much emotion that the other kids start to wonder what the hell’s going on. ray has to constantly hide and cover up his emotions with more palatable ones for others out of fear of looking out of place or being seriously hurt, and well if that doesn’t just describe autistic masking to a tee i don’t know what does.

maybe one of the things that gets me the most about that is that he's essentially been masking for about half of his life, and doing that for any extended period of time is extremely draining. ray has been drained to the point that he will have full meltdowns when put under any sort of stress and when you take into account the fact that he already has pretty severe anger issues as a result of his trauma, it's really no wonder he has such a short fuse.

lack of a filter when speaking

ray is a very blunt person. he speaks matter-of-factly and he wastes no time in getting straight to his point, sometimes with only a single sentence:

the way he talks is also pretty significant, as he generally has a more monotone way of speaking. he really only yells when he gets really worked up which like i said, happens a lot, but there’s almost no inbetween for him. pre-escape, he tries to show as little emotion in his voice as possible outside of his outbursts.

as for post-escape ray, he does seem to show much more emotion in the way he speaks. its a bit harder to judge, as nothing past the escape arc was ever adapted into the anime (s2 isnt real it cant hurt you) but his facial expressions become much more varied and it’s easy to say his vocal inflections likely do as well. however, what we can say for sure is that he remains just as blunt as ever:

no matter how comfortable he becomes with expressing himself, this aspect of his speech never seems to change.

while we’re on the topic of his speaking mannerisms please also direct your attention to these panels:

these need no explanation.

sensory issues. so many sensory issues

briefly moving back to the subject of ray’s hands, i couldn’t help but notice during my countless s1 rewatches that they are almost never just resting at his sides. if he's not using his hands for unnecessary gestures they are either shoved into his pockets, or he's crossing his arms. it's very likely his arms default to these positions because they offer a sort of sense of security, the former keeping his hands covered and the latter keeping him more closed off, almost like he's constantly hugging himself. basically, ray is a 'likes to feel covered and secure' autistic and if he was buried in weighted blankets he'd probably love it.

also tying into the ‘likes to feel covered’ aspect of ray’s autism is this scarf he acquires sometime during the volume 12 timeskip:

it’s a well known autistic thing to get attached to articles of clothing and wear them as much as possible, and boy does ray get attached to this scarf. i can count 2 post-timeskip scenes off the top of my head that have him not wearing this scarf, and the image on the right takes place a full 2 years after the left one in canon. he has no explicitly stated emotional attachment to this scarf and we don’t even know how he got it, just that he almost never takes it off. it could easily be seen as a comfort item, maybe he just likes the way the fabric feels or the extra coverage it offers him. there is post-canon content that depicts him without it, but the fact that he wore it almost nonstop for at least 2 years straight is still pretty significant.

another sensory thing i feel is worth mentioning is that ray seems to have a very specific tolerance threshold for physical contact. he seems fine initiating touch himself, and touches from emma and norman are generally alright, likely because they are the only people he has openly allowed himself to be close with his entire life. sudden touches from others however, are a different story. the one that immediately comes to mind is this interaction with don:

don in particular is someone ray becomes pretty close to, and i would say that besides the obvious growth with emma and norman, don is likely the person we see the most development with with in terms of their relationship. him having this reaction to a hug from someone he’s so close to seems indicative of some issues with unexpected contact.

and finally one of my absolute favorite things the anime added, which is ray experiencing what looks a lot like sensory overload:

this takes place right after the argument with isabella, which ended with him being knocked to the floor and locked up in a room by himself, so its needless to say that he’s pretty shaken up. he gets so overwhelmed that all he can do is yell and desperately reach for any sort of stimulation to keep him grounded, curling in on himself and aggressively ruffling up his hair. i genuinely cannot think of an allistic explanation for this scene.

and basically, he is just so autistic

all in all, theres some pretty damn solid evidence for ray being autistic and whether it was intentional or not, the sheer amount of autism-coding present in ray’s writing is almost impossible to ignore. i love some good projection but i don’t even need to do that much, hes just doing this all on his own. in conclusion:

#skye's ramblings #WELL. IT TOOK ABT AN ENTIRE DAY BUT HERE IT IS. READ MY ESSAY BOY #thank god for tublrs extended image limit am i right. had to switch to my laptop a third of the way through so it would let me add more <3 #and small shoutout to @fullscoreshenanigans for telling me how to make the gifs HGFGKJD #anywyay i had fun w this ray is so dear to me didyou know i love ray. ray #i am going to do something wild (putting a non-art post in the main tags) so hi tpn fandom i talk a lot. here's autism #the promised neverland #tpn #yakusoku no neverland #tpn ray

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froginaskinsuit · 3 months

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desperate to shitpost about media, too busy consuming more media to shitpost about

#yay #watching starkid #npmd #tgwdlm #black friday #sooner or later #my dear moots #will be getting so many references #with no context #hatchetfield #watching everything for the third time and oh. my. god #skinsuit notes

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feroluce · 6 months

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Sort of the same idea as this, but Sigewinne standing around playing with the inmates of The Fortress of Meropide, when Wriothesley happens to walk by and hears them competing for rarest haul that they ever stole and got away with. Wriothesley immediately declares Sigewinne the winner.

And they all turn to look at her, because. Sigewinne is literally like the only one down here without a criminal record? Even she looks confused???

Wriothesley, with a completely straight face: Because she stole my heart.

Sigewinne is, in spirit, doubled over on the floor, clutching her chest and coughing blood as tiny cherubs shoot her full of arrows. The inmates are so so happy for them, they really truly are, but also Your Grace, please, some of us just ate BSMZJZJJZNSMDK

#sigewrio #wriowinne #wriosig #genshin impact wriothesley #genshin impact sigewinne #Rosie saying that hits everyone there like that panel of 'way of the house husband' where the guy says he's never smoked a day in his life #and everyone standing around him is blown back #do you feel me do you understand my vision skxjmd #I just think it's fun that Rosie is constantly rizzing Siggy up in canon #'your presence is the piece de resistance to this tour' good lord 'my dear Sigewinne' GOOD LORD #he just goes around saying this stuff!!!#just out loud in public in front of god and everyone!!!#I'm just imagining Aether and Paimon trying to dissociate because Rosie is obnoxiously flirting with his wife right in front of them for-#-the third time that day #Paimon: Right in front of my welfare meal???#Man's gonna give the whole fortress cavities god #genshin impact #wriothesley #sigewinne

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goldenrobotgondoliers · 3 months

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relistening to stellar firma and it is honestly insane how much the episodes are bloated with ads now. there did not used to be over 10 minutes of ads in a 30 minute episode. they did not used to BE 30 minutes long. there are 5 minutes of ads before the start, 4 at the end, and also at least 3 or 4 minutes dropped randomly in the middle of the episode while they're mid-improv or even mid-sentence. i hate acast's dynamic ads with a burning passion

#grg.txt #like im skipping them obviously but dear god #it adds so much extra work #and it was NOT like this when i listened first several years ago.#not only did rq barely advertise sf but theyre doing this shit now....#the similar length of ads is at least normal in rqg episodes that are usually an hour #but it's absurdddd that literally ONE THIRD of the runtime on sf episodes is ads now.

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cyberdragoninfinity · 8 months

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absolutely fucked UP losing my damn mind seeing Z-one got added to the gate in duel links and finding out that for some reason they didn't give him individualized unique duel initiate/win dialogue for, like, characters he ACTUALLY dueled in canon (yusei, aporia), but THEY SURE AS HELL GAVE HIM UNIQUE DIALOGUE FOR TALKING TO PRIMO. THIS IS THE ONLY CHARACTER Z-ONE SAYS THIS SHIT TO. COMPLETELY OUT OF POCKET UNPROMPTED. IM??!? OK COOL. PAINED SMILE.

calling Primo a fucking FLEA......thinking about that vs. the way primo himself notoriously compares humans to insects...haha alright ok ok that's learned behavior then, ok. the way you have more in common with your adversaries than you care to realize. you are just as insignificant as the humans you so despise. NEAT. VERY COOL.

#GRAAAAAUUUUOOOGHHHHHH.....#ygo posting #z-one #zone 5ds #placido #primo 5ds #duel links madness #everybody gangster until i bust out my primo character analysis posts because the more i think about his dynamic with z-one #the more i want to cry and explode. dear lord. DEAR LORD.#WHAT IF YOU. WANTED TO BE GOD'S FAVORITE. BUT GOD KIND OF COULDNT STAND YOUR ASS #EVEN THOUGH YOURE A THIRD OF HIS DEAD HUSBANDWIFE #iliasterliker9000

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theworldisabrokenbonebutitishome · 1 year

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How to Say 'F#ck You' with Your Eyes Because You Can't Say It With Your Mouth: A Guide by Lin Nansheng.

#the rebel #lin nansheng #zhu yilong #i know ive already posted the last one but it fits the theme and balances out the number #the micro expressions on this man istg #look. look. This Scene man. fuck.#LOOK AT HIS FACE TWITCH IN THE THIRD ONE!!!???!!!!! DEAR GOD #how is z1l so in control of his face #it turns out i'm weak for a man with murder in his eyes but the self control of a saint who knew #we all knew #*incoherent cursing*#happy birthday long ge!!#twabbbiih's low quality gifs

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crossbackpoke-check · 9 months

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Substance, Shadow, and Spirit [remixed, abridged] by Tao Yuanming

#liv in the replies #patrice bergeron #boston bruins #brad marchand #do you ever think about how brad marchand said that when bergy retired he would retire or are you capable of normal thought i'm not at all #please say a gratitude for both my sanity& y'all that this poem (which has been saved in my camera roll with the vague idea of using it for #??? long) & not one of the poems i had saved for carey for a really long time & remixed & everything with another poem until i found a poem #that absolutely murdered me in cold blood but there is an alternate universe where i did& then had to explain my unhinged thoughts to you.#anyway how are we feeling about bergy retirement. pspspspsp sara & luna are y'all doing okay like. the doc title for this one was #patrice the hockey player means a lot to me but patrice the person means so much more #which is why the end line of the other poem was so *%"@^)! (you love / what you are) because patrice does. like he is a whole ass good huma #& now since no one asked i need to tell you all the details about everything also y'all please clap i made an edit with NO baby pictures #although i did find one & save it & minimal genres of photo i always use in edits because they're my taste & aesthetic but anyway.#when i saved the first photo and marked it as one i wanted i accidentally wrote “how will he know they love him” which is not the line but #makes me feel feral about patrice & the rest of them all had hurtful names too but also. the third picture is literally a CELLY like brad #just scored a goal & he is clinging to bergy for dear life with that shit i saved that as “oh the agony on his face for unendurable”#& yes it is one of my cliches to have a draft day picture but in my defense the lifelong bond that patrice has/d with boston deserved to be #there even if i put in the love story & YES that picture is from the 2011 playoff right below it shared joy & pain & i couldn't tell you #when the brad marchy photo for together forever is except for the fact that i saw it & just the gut punch of oh my god the way he looks at #things men will praise you for is the stanley cup. duh. but i love the contrast of “some deed” being the stanley cup but then #bergy's choice to do noble deeds (ends up still earning praise &that's my note to his efforts outside of hockey we love a supportive captai #should also mention the first two i came up with & had the photos i knew i wanted for were the first and last one alskaldk but i KNEW i #wanted chara somewhere in the paragraph about leaving & then while i was looking found the one of bergy playing tuukka on accident & yes #i do have to make goalie jokes every time. no reprieve . no dice/no deal/no goal goalies have no rest/reprieve etc etc the one that killed #me though was looking for a patrice award pic & i wanted basically the one that i got for “how will you know any will praise you” & instead #also got the picture of patrice winning the some community hero award for charity work that he does & i love him mama & of COURSE that puck #is from bergy's 1000 game who do you think I am (if you guessed sleepy and emotional about patrice you'd be right) and ALSO please be ready #for all the patrice posts/bruins posts that have been sitting in my drafts to be released on this occasion of patrice retirement #I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT TUUKKA ALSO RETIRED THAT’S WHY HE WAS ON WISE OR SIMPLE NO REPRIEVE AND THAT LATE OR SOON WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE #CHARA BECAUSE CHARA LEFT FIRST TO GO TO THE CAPS AND THEN LEFT IN RETIRMENT HE LEFT SOON BUT NOT FOR REAL THEN LATER LEFT FOR REAL (RETIRED)

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todderwodders · 5 months

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I think I have Covid

#please please please dear god let it not be so #third times the charm

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raayllum · 1 year

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“Of doing the worst thing for the best reason [...] She wants both outcomes from this letter equally and for the same reason, right? She wants to stay because she’s in love with Callum, she wants to leave because she’s in love with Callum. And I think that’s just kinda like - Rayla’s version of love is, at this point in her life, always gonna hurt someone, including herself. Badly. And I think that that’s - I just love having a messy person like that who can be buried in this and doing what really the reader or therapist would be like, ‘I don’t know if you need do that,’ but she’s just like very, very convinced that that’s the only way forward and kind of accepts, in a non-specific way, the karma she’s going to leave behind but obviously doesn’t actually deal with it.”

“I think Rayla - she’s one of my favourite characters, because I think she’s really - and this is almost the meanest way to put it, but I feel like she’s really hell-bent on self-sacrifice in a way that’s like, beautiful, because I think it’s just what she’s witnessed and what she’s taught, and it’s not a universal bad. There is goodness in self-sacrifice, but I think she’s taken it to such an extreme level that she does continue to hurt herself and those around her, inevitably, a little bit. And I think that’s a journey that she’s still on and will continue to be on for the - for the rest of the coming seasons. Not to be a tease about it, but it is very important that that part of her is not solved, y’know?”

“When a core character trait is self-sacrifice, it’s gonna lead to problems.”

from Bending Not Breaking: Dear Callum Reflection podcast interview with TDP’s Head Writer, Devon Giehl, and Dear Callum’s Writer, Michal Schick

#rayllum #rayla #tdp rayla #raylangst #dear callum #interviews #the way i Cried listening to this i was not prepared #took me out back and shot me i swear to christ #podcasts #tdp #the dragon prince #peace i didn't know i needed just washed over me #OUR LIL BABY LIKE WE KNEW BUT THANK GOD #first quote from michal second is from devon third is from host

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my-past-disgusts-me · 3 months

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Dear god I love Drawtectives

#I was gonna ramble for ages but decided against it #i could ramble in the tags though #i love rambling in the tags #can i just talk about how much I love Eugene #he's my favorite ever he's the best boy of all time #he's their precious son and he's also me #dear god #another one for the kin list #one day i will talk about his autism #one day #i was happy stimming for a solid two thirds of the last episode man lemme tell you #they make me so happy #i hope eugene comes back for season 3 i think that would be super awesome #plus he's their precious son #so #drawtectives

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ren-144p · 3 months

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Hi! Silent admirer of your RE stuff (it's been so long since I've played these games, but you've been re-inspiring me!) - so I'm curious about "Madrid, 1996" for the WIP asks? 👀

ohh god— going for the only one legitimately named and simultaneously the one most unpolished bdhdjsjkl

as of right now, “Madrid, 1996” is a series of snippets intertwined with meta about itself and records of my convos with @bennidraws (which is what started it all!!), written somewhat as a branch of my luis study project. set entirely pre-games, it follows the story of Luis and Carlos who meet, by chance, at an Umbrella conference, and in two weeks develop a particularly deep relationship. Carlos falls in love with an older man freshly out of a personality crisis, Luis falls for a repressed boy who's just discovering himself for the first time, and both of them turn each other's world upside down. contains dog imagery, yearning, cigarettes, and—on many occasions—Carlos' dog tags clinking against Luis' cross

it's rough and unpolished and not even fully planned out, branching within itself into multiple endings. but i've been chipping away at it when i'm not working on anything else and i feel like eventually something will come out of it. too much love has been put into those conversations for the fic to amount to nothing ❤️

“They ever give you a break, soldier boy?”

Carlos turned towards the voice, surprised to see anyone out of the building at this hour, especially in such a downpour. It belonged to the same man he had seen earlier, except the well-cut suit was nowhere to be found, now replaced by an intricately decorated leather jacket and a pair of well-worn jeans. He held a single cigarette between his teeth and a lighter in one hand, looking at him with curiosity through the hair falling into his eyes; and chuckled, clearly having noticed Carlos' persistent gaze on him.

“You look like a rabbit in headlights,” he teased, weaving the lighter between skilled fingers. It lit up with a quiet click a moment later, and Carlos took a while to admire the way the flame illuminated the man's face when he leaned into the light.

"No breaks.” He watched how his thin lips curled around a puff of smoke. “The shifts are short though.”

The stranger hummed, as if amused by the answer, and leaned back comfortably against the wall before extending a pack of cigarettes towards Carlos.

“Care for a smoke?”

“You should come find me later, soldier boy. When your shift is done,” the man said, throwing the butt of his cigarette on the ground. “Room 102. On the fourth floor,” he added with a wink, turning back, but Carlos' hand wrapped around his wrist before he could go.

“Who am I asking for?”

The stranger smirked, leaning in so close their noses almost touched.

“Name's Luis,” he said, a teasing note in his voice. “And who am I waiting for?”

“Carlos.”

and, as a bonus, a bit of the relevant note i made for this part (and for what's supposed to follow)

something about the terrifying act of inviting a stranger to your room, something about that stranger being a soldier; something about being invited to a hotel room by a man older than you, and something about the confidence with which he does it.

the way every night spent with a stranger might've been your last; the way he didn't know if he was gonna wake up the next morning, and then he did—and then they both did.

#ren.txt #tag game #i could ramble about this one for ages #that file has some of my best work in terms of lengthy emotional monologues #and i'm STILL wondering how to incorporate them into the final thing #choosing a way to write a fic is pretty damn hard when your writing is fluid and can change from like #''average third-person narration'' to ''literal poetry'' to ''meta monologue'' in the span of five paragraphs #anyway!! yeah! ''Madrid‚ 1996'' is dear to my heart. a story about connections and how they change and shape you over time‚ i'd say #and because i feel the need to clarify: i say ''older man'' but luis is like 26-28 here— and i say ''boy'' but carlos is set at 21 #their age gap is so important to me actually #btw i read this ask with a fever and when i saw ''silent admirer of your RE stuff'' i thought i saw god there for a moment #means a lot to hear that <33 #your writing is an inspiration and i absolutely love your stuff so. yeah 🥹❤️#serraveira

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