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oblivious-aro · 9 months

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Brief overview of Carrie and Lowell and this project: Carrie and Lowell, released in 2015, is the seventh studio album by Sufjan Stevens. In 2012, Stevens' mother (Carrie) died from stomach cancer. He had a very complicated relationship with Carrie, who suffered from schizophrenia, depression, and alcoholism. She left her first husband when Stevens was a year old and was absent for the vast majority of his life, but from the interviews I've read she seemed to be a relatively pleasant person to be with when she was around.

This album calls upon a lot of symbols and imagery whose meaning seems to be very personal, so it can be difficult to say exactly what is meant by some lyrics, which makes it very interesting to try and interpret some of the nuances of what he's saying.

I've never had someone close to me die, but a lot of the ways Stevens talks about pain and sadness in this album have really resonated with me. Many of these songs are my go-to when I'm feeling down. It's also one of the few albums that I'll listen to front to back.

Since I feel so strongly about these songs, I thought it'd be fun to go through each one and write down what the lyrics mean and how they resonate with me. Starting, of course, with Death with Dignity:

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Spirit of my silence I can hear you, but I'm afraid to be near you And I don't know where to begin And I don't know where to begin Somewhere in the desert there's a forest, and an acre before us But I don't know where to begin But I don't know where to begin

The singer starts off by talking about a presence he is aware of, but hesitant to face (obviously grief and complicated feeling about his relationship with his mother).

He doesn't talk about these heavy feelings with others, and likely doesn't acknowledge even in private (spirit of my silence), but their presence is still constantly felt, and he knows he probably should be doing something about them.

He knows he's neglecting some important things, but his issues feel too big and intimidating to face, so he tries to avoid dealing with them. Again I lost my strength completely, oh be near me tired old mare With the wind in your hair

Of course, just because you aren't dealing your problems doesn't mean they aren't affecting you. These feelings are heavy, and he's carrying them all the time. He may not be properly facing with his feelings, but they are still there and they still drain him.

The mare's been around a long time and the singer still thinks she's beautiful and her presence is a comfort, but she's probably not the same as she once was.

Amethyst and flowers on the table, is it real or a fable? Well I suppose a friend is a friend And we all know how this will end

He questioning a memory here. It's not likely that the flowers (that probably some family member had out on their table when he was a kid), were actually adorned with jewels. His brain is making this memory seem even better than it was, and he's aware of this. The flowers certainly might have felt that decadent at the time, or maybe he's inflating the positive feelings in the present because he wants something pleasant to give him a break from the pain he's in.

In the end he concludes it doesn't matter either way. He's here for comfort and escape, which the image is providing it. Does it matter if the memory is totally accurate? It's only a temporary distraction, he won't be thinking about it for long either way. No point in wasting time worrying about it.

Chimney swift that finds me be my keeper, silhouette of the cedar

He fantasizes about receiving relief from a stranger. He wants someone to stumble upon him and offer him help rather than reach out to someone he already knows. Asking for help can be daunting, and sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers than those that are close to us. Lower stakes.

Not really much to go off of on the cedar bit, but I assume the silhouette is another image whose beauty evokes strong feelings of comfort.

What is that song you sing for the dead What is that song you sing for the dead

At first I thought he was looking for another memory to take comfort in, to distract him. He remembers this one evoking some feelings in him, but he can't quite remember how it goes. Might be a suitable distraction if he remembers how it went and can see what he saw in it again.

Then I realized he's saying he doesn't know what to do to grieve properly. That would tie it back to the whole I don't know where to begin thing. That makes more sense. Both lines even repeat. He seeks reassurance and comfort from past memories a lot in this song, so it fits that he's looking to his past for guidance on grief too, rather than the present.

I see the signal searchlight strike me, in the window of my room Well I got nothing to prove Well I got nothing to prove

This ties in a bit to the chimney sweep and the spirit of my silence bit. He's hiding his feelings from the people around him, and himself (in his hesitancy to properly face them), but he can't run from his feelings forever. He's going to face the feelings he's been pushing away eventually.

Acknowledging them feels jarring, like he's being called out. He's been keeping his feelings hidden for a while, then suddenly they're not.

Maybe bringing things to light wasn't actually as big of a deal as he feared it would be, or maybe he's playing off like he doesn't care to try and minimize the distress.

I forgive you mother I can hear you, and I long to be near you But every road leads to an end Yes every road leads to an end Your apparition passes through me, in the willows and five red hens You'll never see us again You'll never see us again

(Fun Fact: I thought the lyric was But I'm afraid to be near you, sowing that he's drawn to thoughts and memories of his mother, but they can be as painful as they are pleasant. Guess not.) He's reaching for her, even though he knows she's out of reach.

I imagine the hens were on some kind of decoration that he doesn't have anymore (like one of those fancy plates in your grandma's kitchen), rather than actual chickens. His Mother's gone, just like the plate. He's never going to see either of them again. but the memory is so vivid that it almost feels like he can reach them. They feel almost in his grasp.

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Some Final Words: When I listen to this song, an image of a sunny field shows up in my head. The amethyst and flowers are on a wooden table inside a simple wooden house with big windows that gets lots of sunlight. I usually picture the flowers as yellow or purple. The signal searchlight also takes place in a simple wooden house, shining through one of the upper floor bedroom windows at night. It makes sense that the part of the song where he talks about feeling exposed takes place in the most personal room in a house.

Death with Dignity is about Stevens' difficulty facing his grief. Carrie's death left an emptiness that's difficult to fill because of just how little she was actually in his life. Despite her long absences, her relationship with Stevens is still very significant to him, and her absence is very much felt. He grasps at pleasant memories, what little pieces of Carrie he does have, to fill in the hole she left when she died.

Like most of the songs in this album, Death with Dignity ends with a sustained visceral ethereal noise. This one is very choral. It's beautiful but tinged with sadness and longing. Still very gentle, especially compared to some of the later outros.

#carrie and lowell #death with dignity #sufjan stevens #cl project #this took me five days to write #thats how slow a writer i am #i dont mean that negatively #just thought it was an interesting note #thoughts and feedback welcome

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residentrookie · 10 months

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bro death with dignity just gets me tearing up whenever i hear it. like damn it SOUNDS like nostalgia??? like how does he do that? it sounds like hope and the sun at 5pm and a field of lavender waving a bit in the wind. it's magic.

#i'm CRYING AT THIS SONG BYE #death with dignity #oh be near me #thanks sufjan #sufjan stevens #carrie and lowell

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knightofleo · 1 year

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Sufjan Stevens | Death With Dignity

Spirit of my silence, I can hear you, but I'm afraid to be near you And I don't know where to begin Somewhere in the desert there's a forest, and an acre before us But I don't know where to begin Again, I lost my strength completely, oh be near me, tired old mare With the wind in your hair

Amethyst and flowers on the table, is it real or a fable? Well I suppose a friend is a friend And we all know how this will end Chimney swift that finds me, be my keeper Silhouette of the cedar What is that song you sing for the dead? I see the signal searchlight strike me, in the window of my room Well, I got nothing to prove

I forgive you mother, I can hear you, and I long to be near you But every road leads to an end Your apparition passes through me, in the willows and five red hens You'll never see us again

#whoof #sufjan stevens #death with dignity #carrie & lowell #classic

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kittenzeke · 11 months

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I'm going to ask if I can apply for MAID soon.

#journal #personal #vent #MAID #end of life care #death with dignity #disabled

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sairceketli · 1 year

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I forgive you mother I can hear you, and I long to be near you

#sufjan stevens #death with dignity #Spotify

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chaotically-human · 2 years

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The Debate for the Right to Die

This paper deals with subjects that are potently triggering, if you are easily triggered by death please do not read.

For many terminally ill patients a miserable and dejected end of life plan was the only option. But with policies such as the death with dignity act and the minuscule legalization of physician assisted suicides in a few states, there has been an apparent light in the dark for the terminally ill. The debate of wither it is a right of the people or a moral sin is widespread and appears to be endless. With many policies, appeals, acts and, members of the medical and science community, the fight for the right to die continues. But as it is a constant ethical and moral debate between doctors, patients, and lawmakers Death with dignity is one of the only saving graces for individuals who wish control over their remaining years.

In 1993 a businessman named Alvin Snyder, two attorneys named Eli Stutsman and Mark Trinchero, a doctor Peter Goodwin and a nurse Mariam Coppens started a political committee called Orgon Right to Die. The purpose of this committee was to pen and pass the Organ Death with Dignity act. In 1994 campaigning started for the death with dignity act that was later passed with a little over a 50% voter approval rate. By passing the Organ Right to Die act patients with terminal illnesses in Oregon where able to take part in physician assisted suicide. The passing of the act made Oregon the 1st state to allow physician assisted suicide, (History of the Death with Dignity act, 2020). many different acts and appeals stemmed from the passing of the Oregon Right to Die act some of the first followers being those form Maine and Vermont. between 2004 and 2014 in nationwide expansion of the act was beginning. This was started with a terminal brain cancer patient who ended up moving to Oregon so they could take advantage of be death with dignity act. The life and story of the patient change the physician assisted suicide movement and allowed for greater access by the expansion of set movement. Because of the previously mentioned patient policy reform began in a state-by-state basis and success in rewriting and remaking old laws and policies that outdated. But due to varying opinions and ethical debates very few states have actually legalized physician assisted suicide. (History of the Death with Dignity act, 2020)

Though the majority of U.S. states have strict laws against physician assisted suicides, some states have passed acts allowing this kind of services to be provided for chronically ill patients. A few of these states being Washington, Colorado, California, Hawaii and D.C. Most of which have different laws or acts protecting this service. For example, Colorado operates under the End of Life Options Act, that was instated in 2016 but did not take effect until 2017. The End of life Options Act of Colorado has strict criteria for physician assisted suicide, the criteria being:

A prognosis of six months or less;

Mental capacity to make an informed decision;

Residency in Colorado; and

Has requested and obtained a prescription for medical aid-in-dying medication.

(Colorado End of Life Options Act 2019)

Most authorize states share similar criteria to the previously mentioned criteria and many have further rules for eligibility of individuals and the execution of the actual assisted suicide. Currently only 10 states allow PAS most of which are under different acts then the death with dignity act Some of which being the Elizabeth Whitefield End of Life Options Act; 2021 from New Mexico, the Aid in Dying for the Terminally Ill Act; 2019 from New Jersey, and the Patient Choice and Control at the End of Life Act; 2013 from Vermont. ((Death with dignity acts - states that allow assisted death 2021).

Though many questions are raised physician assisted suicide the main question raised by physician assisted suicide (PAS) is the ethical dilemma behind the actual act itself. Is physician assisted suicide Ethical? Should any one group decide your fate or should a chronically ill person have the right to decide when they have fought hard and long enough? upon further research into the ethical side of physician assisted suicide I found two main camps and no real middle ground. One being for assisted suicide and one being decidedly against. Though each individual is allowed their own opinion it is important to remember what the law States and what is allowed under the law. As though you might believe one thing it might not fall in line with what is legal. This is of course prevalent when it comes to the death with dignity debate as there are very few states that have legalized PAS and many that It is still illegal and period

For the side in favor of PAS there is no ethical dilemma nor is there reason for hesitation when it comes to penning and passing death with dignity acts. Having the right to choose what happens at the end of your life weather you are suffering or not is extremely important, just as it is in your young adult life. Most of those in favor of PAS believe it is the right of the people to decide when they die and how they die, they believe it is there constitutional right. By not allowing death with dignity acts and PAS in certain states it limits the options of the people, If States and lawmakers chose to take a harm reduction standpoint on this debate, and allowed better education of the options to terminally ill patients there is a chance that they might see a reduction in the suicide and self-injury rate per state to state. The words to best explain this side of the argument belong to Dr. Kevorkian who said, “I didn’t do it to end the life. I did it to end the suffering the patient is going through. The patient is obviously suffering. What’s a doctor supposed to do, turn his back?” (Jack Kevorkian, MD - Euthanasia 2019). Not only do these words truly explain how the medical and science communities feel about PAS, but also the patients who choose this path, or would choose it given the choice.

For the side opposing physician assisted suicide there are two main arguments presented by the Medical and Science communities. Those being that legalizing PAS is the path toward euthanasia and the moral dilemma physicians licensed to carry out PAS will face. These dilemmas are voiced in an article published by the journal of Oncology in 2017. The author describes how, “PAS is much less about physical pain and suffering than it is about the desire to have the control to end one’s life”, and how, “PAS is a slippery slope toward the practice of euthanasia”, (Reasons to Reject Physician Assisted Suicide/Physician Aid in Dying 2017). The author raises a few good questions here, f for instance if physician assisted suicide were to be made legal in every state would the process be abused? And is PAS the beginnings of euthanasia? On top of the concerns presented by the Medical and Science communities, many religious beliefs and followers do not believe in PAS as it is a direct violation to their beliefs. An example of this is teachings of the Catholic Church, some groups apart of the Catholic church, such as Father William P. Saunders wrote in an articular for the Catholic Herald, would go as far as to write, “with PAS, they (physicians) now formally are cooperating with the evil of taking of a person’s life.” (The Catholic Church's teaching on assisted suicide, 2018).

Regardless of ones own opinion on the physician assisted suicide or death with dignity acts there is ample amount of both good and bad representation in the media. From TV shows two actual historical cases death with dignity and physician assisted suicide continuously receives a bad rap. A good example of this is Jack Kevorkian, nicknamed Dr. Death, who was an American pathologist who whole heartedly believed in PAS and Death with dignity to the point of taking matters into his own hands. In 1998 Kevorkian was arrested for willingly euthanizing a man with Lou Gehrig's disease, he was tried for the one death, even though it is believed he assisted in over 130 euthanasians which he conduced in his van. When news broke of what Kevorkian had done it caused wide sweat panic as well as controversy. Similarly to the issues raised with the Kevorkian case the media continues to glorify and shame character who take part in this kind of ‘Angle of death’ behaviors and actions creating a twisted opinion based on falsified information of the death with dignity and PAS agenda.

Regardless any ethical or moral debate, in my opinion it is the right of the people to have control over their lives and bodies. Similar to the pro life vs pro choice I believe that if it's my body it should be my choice. And in the end if somebody really wants something, in this case to end their suffering, they will find a way to do it. Whether it be an a law sanctioned medical facility full of sterile medical grade tools or in the woods or ones home they will find a way. Because as humans wouldn't force an animal to suffer, but we readily allow terminally ill people with no foreseeable chance of cure, be forced to live out a painful existence that brings no good or joy to them. To me that is the ethical debate, not whether or not a doctor is allowed to euthanize an already dying patient, but rather if a lawmaker can choose whether or not a painful and thankless existence should be forced upon any one human being.

References

History of the Death with Dignity act. (2020, July 15).

Colorado End of Life Options Act. (2019, August 19).

Death with dignity acts - states that allow assisted death. (2021, March 30)

Jack Kevorkian, MD - Euthanasia. (2019, December 18).

O’Rourke. (2017, August 29). Reasons to Reject Physician Assisted Suicide/Physician Aid in Dying.

SAUNDERS, F. (2018, October 25). The Catholic Church's teaching on assisted suicide.

#research #research paper #dr death #Dr kevorkian #death with dignity #end of life options act #euthanasia #euthanized #physician assisted death #catholiscism #catholic #college #chaotic evil #chaotic ramblings #chaotic academia

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awolfinmycity · 2 years

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"I forgive you, mother, I can hear you,

and I long to be near you,

But every road leads to an end"

-Sufjan Stevens

#sufjan stevens #death with dignity #carrie & lowell #mothers #mothers and daughters

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candymay · 1 year

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Sufjan Stevens - Death With Dignity // Life With Dignity (Helado Negro Remix)

“Carrie & Lowell is (an album) titled after Stevens' mother and stepfather. Carrie was bipolar and schizophrenic and suffered from drug addiction and substance abuse. She died of stomach cancer in 2012, but had abandoned Stevens much earlier...[x]”

Death With Dignity is the first track of the album. Sufjan later released a remix version of the song by Helado Negro, changing the word “Death” to “Life” on the title without changing any of the lyrics.

#Sufjan Stevens #Death With Dignity

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wonderingtemples · 2 years

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Kendimi parçalara ayırdım. Elimde bir bıçak vardı ve fazlalık gördüğüm her yeri kesip attım. Yardım çığlıkları atarken sönmüş kibritleri tenime bastırdım. Yaşamım zamanın bir kirpiği idi, ne kavuşan ne de düşen. Asılı kalmış boynundan ve ayaklarının altında gökyüzü. Atlas mı taşıdı omuzlarında dünyayı yoksa ben mi iki elim birleşmiş, tırnaklarım parçalanmış, başım önümde?

Ölmeye yattım bana annemi doğuran söğüdün altına. Sonsuz olmak istedim. O mükemmel günde ve ikindi vaktinde. Her şey altın bir parçaydı güneşten ve belki de nefesim güneşe yürürdü. O zaman onurlu bir ölüm olurdu benimkisi. Ancak o zaman önlenebilirdi geçmiş. Parmaklarımı toprağa geçirdim, arasından fışkırdı yaşam benim yerime. Ciğerlerimi su basmış gibi ferahtı göğsüm ve damarlarım boyunca çiçekler açmamıştı henüz.

O gece bedenimi söğüdün köklerine gömdüm. Tenim soğuktu damarlarımda su yürümüş gibi. Dudaklarımın arasından sessizlik çıktı, rahmimin yerinde kuru otlar bitti, bacaklarımın arasında yılanlar dolaştı. Rengin yılanlar geçip gitti içimden, hepsi sırasıyla terk etti çürümüş bedenimi. Her şey tıpkı hak ettiğim gibi oldu. Yukarıdaydı aşağıda olan, içerideydi dışarıdaki ve ben örmeye devam ettim kaderimin kumaşını sonsuzluğa mahkûmmuşçasına.

Bininci kez derimi soyarken ağladım. Yavaş yavaş ayırdım günahlarımı içimden. Ağzımdan akıttım kanımı, döküldüğü yerde çiçekler bitsin diye. Yağmurun altında çiğdemleri düşledim, bir de mavi unutmabenileri. Narin, tıpkı kızım gibi. Sessizlik yansıdı kulaklarıma, sessizlik yansıdı içimdeki boşluğa. Yaşlarım aktı ciğerlerimi boşaltmak istercesine, tırnaklarımdaki kana karıştı.

Ve sonunda göğsümden uzayıp çıktı söğüt. Dalları zorla açtı damarlarımı ve coşku doldurdu göğsümü. Sarsıldı benden kalanlar tanrının suretiyle. Su buldu beni, su boğdu beni.

Onurlu bir ölümdü benimkisi.

#yazar #türk yazar #Türkçe #benim #ölüm #depresyon #kader #yazılarım #yazı #şiir #syliva plath #virginia woolf #Sufjan Stevens #death with dignity

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