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#deborahs laugh is hysterical i love it
eternally--mortal · 2 years
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Imagine a catholic demigod running loose in Camp Halfblood
Oh, look! An excuse to talk about one of my favorite things: Guilt and Shame Societies.
Wow have you got my brain churning.
(It’s another long one. I apologize for nothing.)
Obviously there are a billion scenarios of how this could play out, because every person is an individual, and I know plenty of Catholics with varied levels of adherence to the Bible and Tradition, so this will have to be a limited example of one scenario.
But for the sake of our story . . .
Imagine a Priest—Micah. He has a particular enthusiasm for the original languages of the Bible and of traditional religious texts. During his studies, he meets a startlingly brilliant woman—dark hair, gray eyes, sharp and beautiful mind—and they engage together over the Greek and Latin translations of ancient poetry and a few key philosophical texts.
Not long after, he finds a little blond haired baby at the entrance of his church.
Micah doesn’t think much of this little baby. He sees her, and he loves her as he would any of his congregation. He loves her as he would a stranger on the other side of the globe, or an unknown neighbor down the street, or a poem that he hasn’t begun to translate and understand, but he looks at her and loves her without realizing that he should love her like a daughter.
No one’s sure where she came from, and a search for family connections comes up blank, so the little girl is given over to CPS.
But something strikes Micah about her. His parents happen to be trained as Foster Parents, and now that he and his siblings are grown and moved out, they’re empty nesters. He mentions the baby to them, and one thing leads to another.
They name her Jaela, after the Biblical figure Jael—a woman who fulfilled Deborah’s prophecy and helped bring down an army by cleverly luring the enemy commander, Sisera, into her tent where she stabbed him through the temple with a tent stake.
Jaela grows up in the Catholic faith and sees Micah regularly. She spends her life calling him “Father” as a title of respect—neither of them knowing how accurate the name is.
But Jaela keeps seeing things. She’s afraid they might be demons, but she’s smart enough to know that whatever they are, they are manifesting as figures from Greek mythology.
She finds her way to Camp Half-blood. Where she is claimed.
Jaela is upset. Her mother is Athena. But Athena is a maiden goddess, so it doesn’t make sense.
Her siblings explain to her how Athena doesn’t have children in the usual way. They describe how they were left on the doorsteps of their parents. Jaela considers how Micah found her at the entrance of the church —how he has been a staple figure in her life —how she was raised by two people who may have been her grandparents.
Jaela laughs hysterically when she asks Malcolm whether this counts as an immaculate conception.
She breaks down when she confides in Annabeth that she thinks she knows who her father is. But how do you explain to your father—your Father—that he has a daughter. Who was immaculately conceived. By a pagan goddess that he will not and cannot believe exists.
She is so afraid of what this means for her faith. She is afraid of what this means for her life with her family, who apparently are her actual, blood-related family.
Most of all, Jaela feels angry.
Jaela has grown up with the belief that her true family did not want her. She has grown up believing in a God who is supposed to be a figure of love and protection and, most or all, Justice.
Well, now her mother is apparently a goddess.
But this feels like anything but justice.
Jaela wonders how Athena gets consent to imagine up children and dump them on the doorsteps of their parents. Especially when one such parent has made a pledge of celibacy that he actually seems determined to keep.
Micah is not a perfect man, but he is a good man, and Jaela is angry to think that he would have made a great father. But it wasn’t what he chose.
It’s such a clash of culture.
Ancient Greeks lived in a society run by Shame Culture. It’s the main reason that Odysseus was so desperate to reach home after the Trojan war: because a hero who dies at sea is forgotten. Because, in Ancient Greek culture, if no one sees it, it did not happen. It was imperative to heroes that there be songs about them to pass on to the next generation —that the praise and glory they had won would live on after death. For the Greeks, evil and good alike existed only when the proof was there, right in front of them.
But Christians, for the most part, and especially devout Catholics, live in Guilt Culture. Christianity focuses a great deal on the internal life; it emphasizes motive and self-awareness. It doesn’t matter whether your neighbor sees you stealing their mail or your parents know that you lied about sneaking out to a party. God sees it. You see it. So it’s there and it’s real.
But now there are Greek gods.
Who watches them?
Jaela is upset because an injustice has been done to her. She’s been robbed of a father, and she can’t confront him because he’s done nothing wrong, and she fears that, when faced with the difficult truth, he will reject her or pity her on the grounds that she has formed a delusion. She can’t even express her frustrations and insecurities during confession because he will know. He will know it is her. Jaela has been confessing the deepest truths of her life to her Father—her father—since she was a little girl and she can’t even tell him the most important truth. She’s not sure she’ll be able to cope with it.
Jaela is angry that she has a goddess for a mother, and that she cannot confront her because Athena is never there.
She lives in agony over the fact that she has been taught about the importance of the internal life and an awareness of guilt and of motive and of actions and their consequences—of the importance of justice—but when she is faced with a situation where all of these things come to their peak, she has no real outlet. Her siblings don’t really understand, the gods don’t care, but Jaela feels the need to make someone care —to make someone do something.
This is the part where we talk about Athena.
Athena is such a particular goddess. She doesn’t just choose her partners and have her children. She makes her children—whether they’re born from deep intelligence or from the unmitigated love of a studious hyperfixation.
Frankly, I believe that this is why Athena is so upset about Percy and so disappointed—and, for a goddess, unusually involved and controlling—about Annabeth’s behavior in the books.
Here we see a goddess who carefully forms her children. She no doubt sees in them a great deal of herself because they are, in a sense, a piece of herself. Athena loves Annabeth as a favorite child. But Annabeth loves Percy, and Percy is a child of Poseidon. More than that, he’s powerful and dangerous and unpredictable. And he’s beginning to make Annabeth unpredictable. Annabeth is already deeply emotional. And now that passion is tied to a destructive force of nature.
Athena hates it.
But it’s easiest to hate in other people what we already hate in ourselves.
Athena knows that she doesn’t have to disdain Poseidon. She knows that parts of herself could be free and unpredictable. She rejects it in herself, so she must also reject it in her daughter.
Jaela sees this dynamic with Athena in her siblings, and she sees a mother who treats her children like possessions instead of like people. She sees a goddess who is unbearably human. Athena may be a maiden goddess, but she is nothing like the Virgin Mary that Jaela grew up believing in.
She can’t pray on her rosary anymore because all she can think about is her mother.
No. Not her mother. Athena. Just a goddess. (Ha. ‘Just’. When did deity become something she could consider ‘just’?) Even Micah was more of a parent to her without even knowing she was his daughter.
Jaela throws herself into camp activities as a form of escapism and she keeps her mouth shut because she does not see a solution.
She begins to dissociate.
She can’t recognize herself in the mirror.
Her past feels as though it belongs to somebody else.
Her morals begin to shift with every conversation. She can’t decide what she believes anymore. She researches and she panics and she fights to find her way out of her own head. But Religion and belief feel selfish and insignificant in comparison to the wars and the death and the carnage. People here have been to the underworld and come back alive, so what is the afterlife? What does Jaela really know about the point of her existence?
She thinks: it’s fine that no one notices. Her world is shattering, but the earth itself is rising to Kill All of Them and the Romans are coming and there’s no point in distracting everyone else with her problems.
Until Drew pulls her aside and drags her into the Aphrodite cabin for a bonding session and a makeover.
Jaela breaks down.
She feels like she’s beginning to recognize herself for the first time. —like she has permission to make herself anew. To set her own boundaries. To make her own decisions.
Jaela decides that there is a world outside her absent-but-controlling mother and her unknowing father. Here, in the midst of the end of the world, there manages to be warmth and community and sassy comments and a family to be found.
She had wondered once or twice whether she should ask Drew to charmspeak her into forgetting—forgetting what, she isn’t sure.
Now, Jaela wonders, maybe she won’t have to.
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cosmicoceanfic · 10 months
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fuck it posts Claireverse two electric boogaloo
season six
“Bananaaaaaas,” Claire sings as Dean puts breakfast on the table. “Bananas, bananas, bananas, bananaaaaaaaaaas.”
“Time for the banana song, huh?”
“I like the banana song.”
“Yeah, it’s a pretty good tune.” Dean sips his coffee. “You remember what we talked about, okay, kid? No more hair pulling.” Claire hmphs. “Claire. Come on. What’s the rule?”
“Only hair pullin’ if there’s demons,” she mumbles.
“That’s right. Only hair pulling if there’s demons. Is Stacey at daycare a demon?”
“Maybe.”
“No, she isn’t.” Dean puts his mug on the table. “Sounds like someone doesn’t want to go to Grandpa Bobby’s for the weekend after I pick them up early from daycare.”
“Noooooooooooo,” Claire whines. “Papa, I wanna go to Grandpa Bobby’s!”
“You do?”
“Yes!”
“Well then, someone’s just gonna have to stay away from hair pulling today, huh?”
She pouts. “Fine.”
“Atta girl.” Dean’s not opposed to a little blackmail to get ahead in parenting. “Come on. Eat your breakfast and I’ll let you choose the music on the way over to the daycare, okay?” Claire brightens and immediately shoves a gigantic chunk of banana into her mouth. He huffs out a laugh. “Okay, okay, Claire, not that fast, okay? You’ll choke.”
+
“Grandpa Bobby!” Claire hollers as soon as Bobby opens the door. He leans down to catch her and haul her up into his arms.
“Hey, kiddo!”
“Papa swore at a crossing guard.”
“Well, that wasn’t very friendly of him.”
Dean scowls. Fucking Deborah has it out for him- he knows it, she knows it, Lisa knows it even though she insists she doesn’t, everybody knows it. “Hi, Bobby.”
“Hey, kid.”
“What’re we doin’ this weekend?”
“I’m gonna show you how a carburetor works and Rufus is gonna swing through town and he offered to take you down by the pond so you can go looking for tadpoles.”
Claire beams. “I love tadpoles!”
“Good luck getting her to sit still long enough to look at a carburetor.” Dean puts the bag with Claire’s stuff in it on the floor.
“I have my ways.”
“Chocolate?” Claire asks hopefully.
“Could be, could be.”
Dean groans. “Bobby, don’t pump my kid full of sugar and then stick her on a car ride home with me.”
“Can’t help you.” Bobby looks at Claire. “Say goodbye to your dad, kid, before he takes all my chocolate.”
Claire waves. “Bye, Papa!”
Dean leans in and kisses her forehead lightly. “Bye, chickadee. Be good for Grandpa Bobby, okay?”
“Uh-huh.”
+
“You’re hysterical, man.”
Dean laughs, taking a sip of his water. “Why?”
Sid grins. “You get all excited for that kid to have weekends at her grandfather’s and then you’re all mopey once she’s gone.”
“Hey, what can I say, I like having the kid around.”
“This whole suburbia thing really suits you, huh?”
Dean snorts. “Shockingly, yeah.”
“Yeah? You’ve traveled around a lot, then?”
“Mm-hmm. Yeah, my whole life, pretty much.”
“And?”
Dean shrugs, feeling a little needled. “I don’t know.”
“Aw, come on, man, I’ve been to your place! I’ve watched football with you. I’ve played with your kid. Don’t you think I’ve earned at least a couple gory details?”
Dean sighs. “There's not much to tell, you know? It's, uh... we lived on the road... I took, uh, crap jobs that nobody else wanted.”
“Like?” Sid prompts.
“Like...” Dean flails. “Pest control.”
“Really? Pest control.”
“Yeah. You get to work with a partner. You get to help people. You have no idea what's in some people's walls. It could eat 'em alive.”
“Yeesh.” Sid takes a sip of his beer. “So Claire’s mom was your partner?”
“No, Claire’s mom. Uh. That’s complicated. Her mom was…” Bizarrely, Cas’ face flashes across his mind. “An angel. She was an angel. But she’s… not around. Not really.” Not for Dean, anyway. “Claire still talks to her all the time. It’s. Yeah. It’s complicated.”
“I’m sorry, man, I didn’t mean to-“
“You didn’t know. It was, uh. My brother, actually. We got up to some… crazy shit. But he’s… not really around, either. Besides, those days are gone. It was harder once Claire came into the picture, but now…”
“You're practically respectable.”
Dean blinks, thrown. “Yeah. Wow. I guess so. That's kind of scary, actually.” Kinda nice, though. Claire deserves to be respectable.
The waitress comes up and hands Sid their receipt. “Thanks, guys.” She brushes a hand against Dean as she goes.
“I think she likes you,” Sid tells him as she walks away.
Dean huffs, amused, as he sees the name and number written on the back of the receipt. “Yeah, you think?” He shows Sid, who groans.
“What is it with you? Like, every time!”
“Chicks dig single fathers, man.”
“You gonna keep it?”
“Nah.” Dean rips it in two. “Just wanna… focus on raising Claire for a little while.”
“I dunno, man, Claire’s gone for the weekend, just you in that big apartment all alone…”
He snorts. “That apartment ain’t big, Sid.”
“…yeah, fair enough.”
“I’m happy where I’m at, man.” Dean stands, shrugging on his jacket. “I’ve got my kid, I’ve got my home, I’ve got my friends. What else do I need?”
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Love of a Mother
( Cute lil fic I did that was inspired by my chats with these amazing and lovely people 💜 @rowenaaclark @ahighlyfunctioningfangirl @syn-a-min @gravedangerahead @lezzlesgarcia @thegoldenlily 💛💛💛)
If someone were to tell me a year ago that I would be driving around in a brown Toyota minivan? I'd have told them they were insane. If someone were to tell me that I would be driving my one year old son around? I'd have crumpled over in a fit of hysterical laughter. But yet? Here I was. Adrian Ivashkov. Driving my one year old son around in a minivan named Mocha. But I just lovingly referred to it as 'That Clunky Piece of Shit'.
It was nearing twelve-thirty when I had to take Declan to the doctors. Sydney had been stuck up at work whereas I had only needed to work a partial day thanks to only being part time. Eddie had kindly offered to take Declan and help out as always but I figured what better way to bond with my son than through terrifying doctors offices and needles? It was just his usual check up most babies had. The little guy got a couple of shots in the leg. It killed me to watch him sobbing as the needles pinched into his skin. Declan cried for a good five minutes before he was back to his jabbering little self. He couldn't form complete sentences yet but he was definitely beginning to get words down. Some English and much to my surprise, some Spanish. That was when I usually handed him over to Sydney. I couldn't take very good care of him if I didn't know what he was saying.
The appointment took just under an hour (most of that was just spent in the waiting room and trying to get Declan's shoes back on that he kept kicking off). I had just gotten Declan settled into his car seat and buckled myself back in when the phone over the speakers began ringing. I flipped it on and sure enough, it was Sydney's harmonic voice that rang through those low quality speakers. "Ah, there is my sweet little Sugarplum of love and sunshine." That just earned me an exasperated sigh followed by a light laugh on the other line. "Any crisis going on I should be worried about? Any uh... T-rex skeletons running loose in the workplace? Any Pharaohs hitting on you? I'll throw down with King Tut himself if he's flirting with my lady."
I could hear that amused laugh from over the speakers and I swore I could feel my heart melting in my chest. "No, there was no loose t-rex skeletons or any handsy Pharaohs. All normal over here. I'm coming home a little early. It turns out my Mom is coming tonight and not tomorrow. She came in early and neither of us feel like waiting." Sydney explained. "How's everything with Declan?"
"He's in tip-top shape!" I exclaimed as I turned to glance back at Declan who had one shoe on and the other kicked off. He gave me that little mischievous grin of his that he gave me every time he kicked off that shoe. "Currently missing a shoe but other than that, he's in one piece. Took his shots like a champ."
'Well. Hurry home, I miss my boys. I think Eddie misses you too. I love you."
There it was again, that swelling in my chest, that feeling that made me feel so light I'd start floating and defy gravity itself. Of course I didn't say any of this, instead I replied with a quick and abrupt 'I love you more!' And hanging up before Sydney could say she loved me more. Sydney always told me she'd win at the silly 'I love you more' arguments but she couldn't win if I hung up on her. Glancing back to Declan who now had his other shoe off, I chuckled lightly at him, "point seven for Daddy and nearing two-thousand and fifty-five for Mommy. We'll catch up eventually." This just earned me an excited 'ah!' From Declan.
Once we were back on the road, about ten minutes passed when I had heard something not sounding quite right in the van. I called this thing 'That Clunky Piece of Shit' for a reason. It. Was. Shit. I was just twenty minutes away from getting back home when suddenly, it stopped. The whole vehicle began slowing until it stopped. Thankfully we lived out near the countryside so traffic on these roads? Unheard of. Letting out a loud groan, I was able to drive it to the side of the road and got out to lift the hood. Everything seemed normal to me? Then again, I wasn't Sydney. I knew hardly anything about cars. Just knew enough to drive them. Even if I did know what was wrong with the thing, I wouldn't be able to fix it. Sighing, I reached into my pocket to call up Sydney in defeat but before I could even make that call - a red 1963 Chevy Impala pulled up beside me. Out stepped a women in maybe her mid-fourties. She had shoulder length brown hair with eyes that matched.
"Is everything alright over here? Do you need some help?" The woman offered kindly towards me.
Now. When I imagine a vehicle breaking down in the middle of nowhere, I imagine a half naked women strutting around in short shorts and a bikini top. Not some hopeless man that didn't know a thing about cars being helped being saved by some middle aged woman. I stepped away from the hood and offered the woman a polite smile. "Yeah. We could really use whatever help we could get. Thank you uh —" I trailed off, waiting for her name.
"Deborah. But you can just call me Deb." This caused the brunette to smile and retreat back to her own vehicle, only to yank out a huge tool box and heave it over to me. I moved out of her way and soon picked up on Declans whimpers and cries from the backseat. I wasted no time grabbing him from his carseat and resting him against my hip. I watched as she went straight to work on the hood. She was fast and knew what she was doing because within just eight minutes, she slammed the hood shut and smiled at me. "Cute little guy you got there. He yours?"
"Hm?" I hummed, not realizing she was speaking to me at first. My focus had been on Declan and keeping him calm. "Oh! Yeah. He's a little stinker. You got any of your own?"
She smiled and it seemed sorrowful and I immediately regretted saying anything. "I do. Just don't see them very much though. I suppose you've got places to be?"
I felt the need to apologize or even give her cash for her help but she didn't seem like the type of woman that would accept it. And well... I had no cash on me. "Yeah, yeah. Hey, thank you so much for the help. I really appreciate it, Deb." She gave me a curt nod before making her departure and I was soon to leave next after getting Declan back into his seat. Once arriving home, Declan was fast asleep in his carseat and I was glad he was a heavy sleeper whenever I had to carry him in.
I was instantly greeted by Sydney who was wearing a plain black dress and even had her hair up in a neat bun. I was expecting to see her in sweatpants and one of my shirt but then I'd remembered that her mother was coming over. Of course she got all dressed up for her mother. The moment Sydney saw me walk through that door, her entire face mirrored that of my own. Excitement. Joy. Love. These all lit her features no matter how much time we spent apart. I was pretty sure the whole reeducation played a huge part in that. Three months away from each other was far too long and one night to us felt like an eternity.
Sydney and I could easily have our own space for a few hours but the fact was, even while at work, we'd grow to miss each other in just those few hours. There was one night where I could recall that Sydney had been spending the night with a few friends she made here in Maine. It went fine and well — until neither of us were capable to find rest and so we caved and finally decided to fall asleep talking to each other over the phone. It's safe to say that we were damn near inseparable as a couple.
Sydney dashed straight into my me and my baby-free arm wrapped around her without a second of hesitation, "well hello my sweet honey bunches of sunshine and happiness—"
"I love you more." She interrupted. Of course she wasn't about to let me win that 'I love you more' debate.
"Oh ho, hey now. You gotta let me win a couple of times here and there, Ivashkov." I retorted, leaning down ever so slightly to peck my lips against Sydney's a good four times before pausing and leaning down to give her one last final kiss. "I'm gonna get the little guy settled and I'll be right back down to help with dinner." Another quick kiss and off I went to put Declan down for his nap.
I wasted no time getting Declan settled up in his crib. Usually he'd be back up and at it again in an hour or so. If he got too much sleep then he refused to sleep at all through the night. By the time I came back down, my mother was happily helping Sydney with the food. Smiling to myself, I walked up behind my wife and wrapped my arms around her. "I got it, babe. No cooking allowed when you're in a dress." I said, placing a gentle kiss to the side of her neck. Or well, no cooking at least if I was around. That was my thing. No one could compete with my casserole and that was just a fact.
I could hear a light chuckle coming from the back of Sydney's throat, and I knew what was coming. As she swayed slightly in my arms, those golden eyes peered up at me with a mischievous glint to them, that look alone made my heart race and the urge to throw her up against a wall or at the very least, on top of the nearest surface became nearly impossible to resist. Of course, she had to take it a step further, "I've done a lot worse in a dress." She whispered softly against my ear. Those amber eyes met with green and we stayed with locked gazes. A million of less than appropriate thoughts filling both of our minds at that same exact moment. Both of our minds in sync as if they were one.
Good. Lord. This woman.
"I thought that was sexual tension I sensed all the way from the living room." Came a familiar voice we all knew all too well. Eddie Castile. I glanced over to see him making his way into the kitchen, grabbing a quick snack for himself. I forgot how much Dhampir's needed to eat. Sometimes I forgot I even had to feed them!
"Hey, if you're not gonna help then you get your ass out and let the professionals handle the food." I countered in amusement, throwing a nearby oven mitt at Eddie's back as he ran off laughing with a bag of chips.
An hour and some minutes passed when finally that doorbell rang. I changed into something that was more 'meet the mother' appropriate. Sydney and I had just finished up everything and I already had Declan all settled into his high chair. Sydney fixed up her hair and straightened out her dress. She rushed off to answer the door. I heard the two women laughing as the footsteps approached the dining room. I cleared my throat and looked at Declan, "let's hope Daddy doesn't fuck this up." I spoke to him as he carelessly continued playing with his toy keys. Getting up from the table, to be met by a familiar face I had met recently. Very recently.
"Well howdy, Debbie." I greeted before Sydney could even introduce us. We'd already introduced ourselves when the hunk of junk decided to take a crap on the road earlier. Admittedly, I was thrown off. Very thrown off but I wouldn't show that. All confidence here. Sydney though? She looked flabbergasted. I was already giving her mother nicknames.
Deborah also was thrown off. Perhaps by my good looks or maybe the fact that I was the idiot she helped on the road. Or by the fact that I am in fact, a vampire. Sometimes I forgot that being surrounded by humans constantly.
"Uhm. Mom, this is —"
"Adrian Ivashkov." Deborah interrupted as she continued staring at me.
I didn't dare move. I wanted to extend a hand out to be polite but the possibility of her jumping back in absolute terror was very likely here. So I stayed where I was. "Do forgive me. I forgot my cape back in my coffin down in my cave. The bats made it impossible to get to it. Little brats. Especially Edgar." Was the first thing I thought to reply with. See, in my mind, that was funny. In Sydney's? She wasn't too impressed and I'm sure I'd hear about it later.
Much to mine and Sydney's surprise, Deborah began laughing. Oh, I like her already. "Those pesky bats," she began and gathered herself before she made the move to come shake my hand. "I remember when Sydney was about eight there was a bat in her bedroom. She refused to leave my room the next three nights." Deborah reminisced fondly before taking her seat. Everyone in the room visibly relaxed when we realized that Deb wasn't anything like Sydney's father.
"Oh, I sure hope you brought baby pictures of her," I couldn't keep from saying. I still had yet to see any baby pictures of my wife. Sydney's look of relief turned into a playful glare towards me. Until that turned into a look of exasperation when suddenly, Deborah Sage yanked out an entire scrapbook of yes... Baby pictures.
By the end of the night, Declan was in bed after a very hectic day of women giving him nonstop attention. A hard life that was. As the night wound down, us adults were settled in the living room. My mom was already half a bottle of wine down and so was Deb seeing as she was going to stay the night. The two women were giggling messes as they showcased our baby pictures to mostly each other. I quickly regretted even bringing up any baby pictures. Deborah and my mom became friends rather quickly. Hell, all of us did. It made my heart melt to see how undeniably loved Sydney was by her mother. That was what she deserved.
The best part of the night though, was right before everyone retired to bed. I'd gotten ready for bed and came down the stairs to get Sydney and I nearly began tearing up when I heard Deb tell Sydney that she approved of me. She approved of someone she hardly even knew, she approved of a vampire being married to her daughter. I felt the heart within my chest swell at that sort of acceptance. I wasn't her son but she was so ready to accept me as one because of Sydney's love for me.
This. This was a family. This was the place that life lead me to and it was here, where I belonged.
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rosalyn51 · 5 years
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Photo Credit: Tom Jamieson for The New York Times
A WORD WITH
Matthew Goode Knows How to Charm. Just Ask Lady Mary and Princess Margaret.
By Kathryn Shattuck Jan. 11, 2019
Matthew Goode has always exuded a whiff of danger: the slyly wicked smile. The devil-may-care charm. The sense that something rather naughty lurks beneath his suave exterior.
Which mostly explains why he was cast, no audition required, as Matthew Clairmont, an Oxford genealogist — and 1,500-year-old vampire — in “A Discovery of Witches,” streaming on Sundance Now and Shudder, starting Jan. 17.
Elegant and erudite with a seductively dark purr, Clairmont analyzes the DNA of witches in his secret lab to determine why their magic is waning. Then along comes the fresh-faced Diana Bishop (Teresa Palmer), a brilliant historian of alchemy and latent witch who has shunned her own supernatural abilities. But when an enchanted manuscript materializes for her eyes only at the Bodleian Library, she becomes the target of the creatures who hunger for its long-forgotten knowledge. And she also develops into the object of desire for Matthew, who lusts for the power in her witch’s blood, which is unlike anything he has witnessed in centuries.
“Boy meets girl — I’m really taking it down to the center of the Venn diagram,” Goode said drolly. “It’s about the complex relationship between a vampire and a witch, who famously shouldn’t get on, but for some reason sparks fly, while also trying to save all species of weirdos.”
It’s certainly not the first time Goode has devastated the ladies. In 2015 he traded “The Good Wife,” in which he played the prosecutor Finn Polmar — and Alicia Florrick’s romantic interest — for “Downton Abbey,” in which, as the racecar driver Henry Talbot, he thawed Lady Mary’s icy core and swept her to the altar. And last year, in Season 2 of “The Crown,” he snared an Emmy nomination for his turn as Antony Armstrong-Jones, the royally inappropriate suitor and eventual husband of Princess Margaret, who was played by Vanessa Kirby.
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Goode, 40, who lives in Surrey with his wife, Sophie Dymoke, and their daughters, Matilda and Teddie, and son, Ralph, spoke over the phone from Britain about the perils of the occult, the coming “Downton Abbey” movie and whom he hung out with on his Christmas vacation.
Here are edited excerpts from the conversation.
“A Discovery of Witches” is spun from Deborah Harkness’s All Souls trilogy. Surely there are more seasons.
There’s going to be a second and a third. Teresa has been having a baby, so she’s given the writers plenty of time and no excuses, because we’re not starting again until June. She’s having her third, and I don’t think she’ll stop. She seems like the kind of girl who’s going to have, like, seven, and will have the energy to parent and work at the same time and not turn into, like most people do, someone who’s slightly angry.
Hmm. Sounds as if maybe she took her children to the set and maybe you did not.
One of them was young, so he needed to be breast-fed quite a bit, always at surprising times. We’d be sitting there, having a conversation and wallop — there’s a boob in your face. Crikey! Oh, my goodness, my eyes! And she’d be [in Australian accent], “Oh for goodness sake, it’s just a way of feeding my baby.” And I’m like [in tough voice], “I wish a dingo would steal that so we could get on with some work.” [Laughs.]
The series is steamy but chaste. Scarcely a ripped bodice, with talk of bundling, in lieu of mating. I guess I’m asking, is sex impossible?
Tune in to Season 2 to find out! I don’t want to give too much away, but in the first season, we have a bit of frottage, and that sort of heavy petting might involve a digit, and I really don’t want to go any further.
Were those magic scenes — you bounding after a stag, Diana flying into the air — fun to shoot?
In general, the magic didn’t seem very magic when we were doing it. Because it was actually things moving being attached to fishing wire, or your castmate on a rope. It felt quite low-rent, but it looks fantastic on the screen now that we have special effects. I did manage to break a bone in my hand in the Bodleian Library because for some reason the stunt guy was upset and wasn’t there. So I decided to do it myself. And here’s a little note, children: If you’ve got a really good stunt man standing by, let him do it.
What’s it like to bite a neck?
There’s giggling. Then there’s going hysterical.
I know you’ve been sworn to secrecy about the “Downton Abbey” movie and appear briefly at the end. But Michelle Dockery has described Lady Mary and Henry Talbot as “settled” and “good friends.” Where did the passion go?!
There’s a huge respect between them. He knows that she’s taking on the whole of the estate and everything else. And I would imagine that there’s a sort of rumpy-pumpy pretty frequent between the two of them. They’ve got a kid now, things are good now. They’re settled. He’s working. When he’s not away, he’s in bed with her, I would say, most nights — unless he’s parked out by the decanter, which is where he should be.
Sadly, you’re now too young for Season 3 of “The Crown.”
“The Crown” was a blast, actually. When you’ve got a brilliant actor [like Vanessa Kirby] opposite you and you’ve got great words to say and you’ve got a director like we had, it was just a joy. Ben Caron is really going places. And he’s directing the first four episodes of Season 3, which we shall all watch through gritted teeth because we would still like to be doing it ourselves. If you’ve seen Ben Daniels, he looks amazing as Antony Armstrong-Jones — he’s got the most piercing blue eyes — and I think he’s going to smash it out of the park. I just hope people will judge it for a different era rather than saying what I suspect they might: “Oh, he’s so much better than Goode.” [Laughs.]
I’ve heard that you, Benedict Cumberbatch and Jamie Dornan are best friends. The thought of which …
I wouldn’t say we’re best friends. We’re very acquainted. I play golf with Jamie. And I see Ben a bit. But I think they would have raised eyebrows if they were like: “My best friend’s Goodie? I mean, I like him.” And I love them both very much. They’re very nice people. What was the question?
So you guys travel in a pack, leaving an awe-struck public in your wake?
It’s so bloody difficult hanging out with any of these other actors, because we’re always off doing a flaming job. I tried to get people together this Christmas for a party, and it proved so difficult I actually just gave up. I canceled the day and it was a real shame. So we went out for some supper with Colin Firth instead.
A version of this article appears in print on Jan. 13, 2019, on Page AR2 of the New York edition with the headline: Matthew Goode Knows How to Charm. 
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lunchboxpoems · 6 years
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CENTO FOR THE NIGHT I SAID “I LOVE YOU”
Today, gentle reader,
is as good a place to start.
But you knew that, didn’t you? Then let us
give ourselves over to the noise
of a great scheme that included everything.
That indicts everything.
Let us roam the night together
in an attempt to catch the stars that drop.
                              •••
White clouds against sky
come humming toward me.
One closely resembling the beginning
of a miracle. There’s
the moonlight on a curved path
lighting the purple flowers of fragrant June.
I dreamed him and there he was
silent as destiny,
lit by a momentary match.
                              •••
Men are so clueless sometimes,                                                          
like startled fish                                                                                              
living just to live.                                                                                            
We are dying quickly                                                                                      
but behave as good guests should:                                                                  
patiently allowing the night                                                                              
to have the last word.                                                              
And I just don’t know,                                                                                  
you know? I never had a whole lot to say                                                        
while talking to strange men.                                                                          
                              •••
What allows some strangers to go past strangeness? Exchanging                      
yearning for permanence. And who wouldn’t
come back to bed? Love—
How free we are; how bound. Put here in love’s name:                      
called John. A name so common as
a name sung quietly from somewhere.
Like a cry abandoned someplace
in a city about which I know.
                              •••
Like black birds pushing against glass,
I didn’t hold myself back. I gave in completely and went
all the way to the vague influence of the distant stars.
I saw something like an angel
spread across the horizon like some dreadful prophecy
refusing to be contained, to accept limits.
She said, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
                              •••
I love you, I say, desperate
to admit that
the flesh extends its vanity
to an unknown land
where all the wild swarm.
This is not death. It is something safer,
almost made of air—
I think they call it god.
                              •••
Some say we’re lucky to be alive, to have
a sky that stays there. Above.
And I suppose I would have to agree…
but the hell with that.
It isn’t ordinary. The way the world unravels,
from a distance, can look like pain
eager as penned-in horses.
                              •••
And it came to pass that meaning faltered, came detached.
I learned my name was not my name.
I was not myself. Myself
resembles something else
that had nothing to do with me, except
I am again the child with too many questions
as old as light. I am always learning the same thing:
one day all this will only be memory.
One day soon. For no good reason.
                              •••
Dying is simple—
the body relaxes inside
hysterical light
as someone drafts an elegy
in a body too much alive.
Love is like this;
not a heartbeat, but a moan.
                              •••
Can you see me
sinking out of sight
in the middle of our life?
Should I be ashamed of myself
for something I didn’t know I—
(He walks by. He walks by
laughing at me.)
“What else did you expect
from this day forward?” For better. Or worse.
                              •••
One life is not enough
to remember all the things
marriage is. This town at dawn
can will away my lust
to suck honey from the sunlight,
so why am I out here trying
to make men tremble who never weep?
                              •••
After all’s said and after all’s done                  
and all arrogance dismissed,
the distance rumbles in
sparing only stars.
The moon, like a flower,
survives as opinion
making it almost transparent.
The pieces of heavy sky
heavy as sleep.
I close my eyes
and this is my life now.
NICOLE SEALEY
** “Cento for the Night I Said, ‘I Love You’” is comprised entirely of lines borrowed from the following poets (in order of appearance): C.D. Wright, Mary Jo Salter, Patricia Smith, Toi Derricotte, Philip Levine, Lynda Hull, Langston Hughes, Malachi Black, Kimberly Blaeser, Maxine Kumine, Afaa Michael Weaver, Hédi Kaddour, dg nanouk okpik, Claude McKay, Deborah Landau, Sharkmeat Blue, George Bradley, Yona Harvey, Federico García Lorca, June Jordan, Kwame Dawes, W.H. Auden, Ana Castillo, Erica Hunt, Muriel Rukeyser, Ed Roberson, Ruth Madievsky, Thylias Moss, Gregory Orr, Yusef Komunyakaa, Elizabeth Spires, Lyrae Van Clief-Stefanon, Tim Seibles, Nathalie Handal, Wisława Szymborska, Lucille Clifton, C.P. Cavafy, Rainer Maria Rilke, Raúl Zurita, August Kleinzahler, Louise Glück, Victoria Redel, Adélia Prado, Sonia Sanchez, Jean Sénac, Claribel Alegría, Remica L. Bingham-Risher, Sylvia Plath, Harryette Mullen, Emily Dickinson, Sharon Strange, Larry Levis, Sherman Alexie, Franz Wright, Marianne Boruch, Andrea Cohen, Linda Susan Jackson, Carl Phillips, Robert Hayden, Eavan Boland, Anne Waldman, Dorianne Laux, Natasha Trethewey, Eric Gamalinda, Galway Kinnell, John Murillo, Yves Bonnefoy, Tina Chang, David Wojahn, Nick Laird, Simone White, Catherine Barnett, Vladimir Mayakovsky, Brenda Shaughnessy, Kazim Ali, Brenda Hillman, Valzhyna Mort, Blas Falconer, Theodore Roethke, Kahlil Gibran, Rita Dove, Brigit Pegeen Kelly, Khaled Mattawa, Tracy K. Smith, Ed Skoog, Alice Walker, Pablo Neruda, Adrienne Rich, Percy Bysshe Shelley, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Aimé Césaire, Jake Adam York, Bob Kaufman, William Blake, Frank Bidart, Marilyn Nelson, Polina Barskova, Santee Frazier, Suheir Hammad and Cornelius Eady.
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flairmagazineblog · 3 years
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Weekend Watches- If You Have Already Watched Everything on Netflix
Everyone loves TV, and watching television is one of the most universal pastimes. With the plethora of shows available in every genre, it is hard to decide just what to devote your precious time to. Nothing is more aggravating than sitting down for some rest and relaxation to realize you don’t know what to watch. Like most of us, you have probably watched everything on Netflix already but don’t worry, we have put together a list to help you out. No spoilers, we promise! 
New and Highly Recommended 
Mare of Eastown- HBO: It is hard to find an HBO show that isn’t addictive but Mare of Eastown has lived up to all of the hype surrounding it. Featuring an all-star cast of Kate Winslet, Jean Smart, and Guy Pearce the show centers around Mare Sheehan (Kate Winslet) who is a small-town detective with a big city attitude. As she investigates the murder of a teenage mother, viewers quickly realize just how many wires are crossed in this small town and that being a hero can take its toll. 
Cruel Summer- Freeform: What happens when you mix teen angst, a forbidden romance, abduction, and courtroom drama? Cruel Summer follows the lives of two American teenagers over three summers in the 90s skipping from one timeline to the next leaving viewers desperate to know exactly who is guilty and who is full of lies. Beware, do not read anything about Season 1 before watching as even a hint will give away the explosive finale.
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Old Characters, New Shows
Intelligence- Sky One: Almost everyone in the world has seen every single episode of Friends and if you are a mega-fan then you will be happy to see Ross Geller, I mean David Schwimmer in a new and hilarious role in the British comedy, Intelligence. The sitcom centers around an intelligence team fighting cybercrimes in the UK with Schwimmer being an ousted NSA agent who is begrudgingly assigned to be the American liaison. Hilarious cultural misunderstandings abound and even if you could care less about government offices or cybercrimes this show will make you laugh out loud. 
Why Women Kill- CBS All Access: Depending on how old you are you might remember Lucy Liu from the legal drama show Ally McBeal or the Charlie’s Angels Films but the Asian-American bombshell is back with an incredible dark comedy-drama called Why Women Kill. The first season follows three very different women across different decades who are only connected by their shared address. The Pasadena mansion where the show is set provides the backdrop for the three women to find out that their husbands have been unfaithful. Who will end up dead? You will have to watch to find out. 
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Reality-TV 
KUWTK Final Season- E! Network: It is hard to believe that the franchise that launched the Kardashian-Jenner family into infamy started fourteen years ago with season 1 of Keeping Up with the Kardashians on E! If you are a die-hard or a part-time fan that’s okay, Season 20 is the perfect way to say goodbye. Filled with fights, family trips, law school, and reconciliations; S20 is filled with nostalgia, to say the least. Hot tip, the season ends with a two-part interview with Kris, Kylie, and Kendall Jenner, and the power-trio of Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Kardashian. Bravo’s Andy Cohen is the perfect person to ask the hard questions and let us tell you—tea is spilled on all the hot button topics from the last fourteen years and it is piping hot! 
Shahs of Sunset- Bravo: This reality show follows the lives of Persian-Americans as they navigate life in sunny Los Angeles. Think along the lines of KUWTK or Jersey Shore but more…Middle Eastern. The crew is connected by their heritage and decades-long friendships but that doesn’t mean that each episode isn’t filled with sugar spice and things not-so-nice. Shahs is now in its 9th season on Bravo, so if you haven’t been familiarized with Reza, GG, Mercedes, Mike, Nema, and Destiny in the first 8 seasons…well, you better start binge-watching. 
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Side-Splitting Comedy
Hacks- HBO Max: Jean Smart serves an incredible performance as Las Vegas comedian Deborah Vance, serving Joan Rivers vibes and an addictive plot. The show tells the story of an odd mentorship between a 25-year-old writer and the legendary comedian who is self-centered, brutally honest, and fabulously rich. The Boomer vs Millennial subplot makes the show absolutely hilarious. 
Chad- TBS: Maybe the craziest concept on TV is dressing up a beautiful Persian woman as an adolescent boy but somehow the hilarious Nasim Pedrad has pulled it off. Nasim transforms herself into Ferydoon “Chad” Amani the very socially awkward, unfiltered, and hysterical 14-year old whose sole mission is to become popular. More than being a fantastic show, Pedrad who is the star, writer, and producer has created a space where Middle Eastern families on TV can just be, well, normal. The show is revolutionary in that it showcases the everyday lives of an Iranian-American family without venturing into politics or religion. Chad might make you cringe or laugh but the representation is absolutely necessary.
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Binge-Worthy Dramas
Handmaid’s Tale- Hulu: Dystopian drama has reached its peak with Handmaid’s Tale based on the book by the same name by Canadian author Margaret Atwood. The plot is not for the faint of heart as the show is set in a dystopian society that was once the United States but after a civil war, Gilead established rule and installed a fundamentalist theocratic dictatorship. Forced to live as second-rate citizens and unable to handle money, have jobs, or read the women of Gilead are the protagonists of this dark story and will make you rethink almost everything. 
The Chi- Showtime: The south side of Chicago is known for being poor and violent. This is no exaggeration, the city has been given the nickname “Chiraq” a mix of Chicago and Iraq due to the high level of violence. The show The Chi presents a coming-of-age drama series that shows the world through the eyes of the varied characters who are linked to one another through community, life, and love. Rather than hyperbolizing the lives of the Chicago residents, this show takes a deep dive into the everyday realities of multiple generations thanks to the brilliant writing (and Emmy award-winning) Lena Waithe. 
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Weekend Watches- If You Have Already Watched Everything on Netflix was originally published on FLAIR MAGAZINE
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getyourgossip0-blog · 6 years
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Escape Into 'Girls Trip': 10 Banging Tracks From The Film to Soundtrack Your Own Girls Trip
New Post has been published on https://getyourgossip.xyz/escape-into-girls-trip-10-banging-tracks-from-the-film-to-soundtrack-your-own-girls-trip/
Escape Into 'Girls Trip': 10 Banging Tracks From The Film to Soundtrack Your Own Girls Trip
CultureWritten by Michael Carr on April 24, 2018
Hysterical, loud and proud to get down and dirty with the best of them, the movie Girls Trip was a surprise success of 2017, doing great business at the box office, debuting at #2 after Dunkirk.
Praised by many as an all-female answer to The Hangover series, the story of ‘The Flosse Posse’ is as feelgood as it is gross-out, emphasising friendship and loyalty in tough times and mugging for laughs in between.
The film boasts a stellar cast of comedic talent with Regina Hall as lifestyle guru Ryan Pierce, Queen Latifah as internet gossip blogger Sasha Franklin, Jada Pinkett Smith as nurse and single mum Lisa Cooper and breakout star Tiffany Haddish as the fun-loving Dina.
We start out with these friends from college now estranged, and the film follows the classic storyline of friends coming together again for the first time in years for a wild weekend away in New Orleans (Ryan having been offered on an all-expenses-paid trip, as well as being invited to give the keynote address as the Essence Music Festival).
The film focuses on the bonds between the women as much as the wild debauchery and misadventures they get entangled with, and a huge part of what makes it work so well is the soundtrack, which — as we all know — is a huge part of any reunion of old friends.
So with that in mind, we thought, why not escape into Girls Trip with a look into 10 banging tracks from the film that will make the perfect soundtrack to your own girls’ trip.
Enjoy!
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1. Maxwell – ‘Ascension (Don’t Ever Wonder)’
Seeing as though this is a movie about a group of women reliving their glory days from the ‘90s, it’s fitting that the first song in this list is a smooth slice of ‘90s neo-soul. And it doesn’t get much smoother than Maxwell. A huge name in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s — and in many ways the male Sade — Maxwell’s track is the perfect song to help you slide into the party mood as you and your crew warm up. He even has a cameo in the film, so keep an eye out!
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2. Chaka Chan – ‘I’m Every Woman‘
Speaking of warming up the party muscles, this classic Chaka Chan anthem of female empowerment soundtracks the girls doing just that in the film, kicking in as they fly to New Orleans and down shots of Patron at fun-loving Dina’s insistence. This is the ultimate party-starting jam.
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3. Missy Elliot – ‘She’s A Bitch’
Playing when the girls get into a dance-off with the Instagram model and villain of the film Simone (Deborah Ayorinde), this lesser-known Missy Elliott jam is the perfect track to keep the vibe building after Chaka. This is only part 1 of the dance off soundtrack though, with the vibe staying high as we roll over into…
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4. Lil’ Jon – ‘Bad Bitches’
YEAH! WHAT! OK! That’s right, the godfather of crunk Lil’ Jon is here, and the party is taking off into the stratosphere. Serving as the soundtrack to the second half of the dance-off – before everything devolves into a good old fashioned bar fight – this song sounds like ‘white girl wasted’ feels like… which is to say, too good.
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5. Anna Lunoe – ‘Radioactive’
A bit out-of-character with the rest of this list, but we’ve still got to give props to the homegrown talent making it big in Hollywood. Playing in the background of a club scene, the track is a solid banger and worth a listen.
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6. Faith Evans – ‘Love Like This’
Back into the ‘90s swing of things again with this top shelf number, which famously samples ‘Chic Cheer’ by Chic — another of the artists who makes a cameo in the film. You can 100% hear this jam soundtracking the adventures of The Flosse Posse in the ‘90s heyday, and it’s the perfect track to get you feeling nostalgic for the simpler times of 1998.
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7. Mase – ‘Feels So Good’
Playing in the film as P.Diddy – is he calling himself Puff Daddy again now? I can’t keep track – performs on stage, this somewhat forgotten hit doubles down on the ‘90s nostalgia showcasing that classic Puff Daddy production that broke artists like Mase and Notorious B.I.G.
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8. New Edition – ‘If It Isn’t Love’
Now this one is taking us all the way back to the ‘80s for some OG boy-band goodness. These guys were the mould for acts like New Kids On The Block and Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC later on, and you can see — or should I say hear — why the trend caught on. In the film, the first act that the girls see at the Essence Festival — of all the nostalgia-inducing tracks on this list — this is the one that is most likely to make anyone who lived through the period swoon… just look at those choice flat tops.
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9. Mariah Carey – ‘It’s Like That’
Now, it would hardly be a soundtrack of a girls’ trip without a Mariah Carey track. Rather than go with something more expected like ‘Heartbreaker’ or ‘Honey’ though, this song from her 2005 comeback album, Emancipation of Mimi, is a little tougher, and a little more hip-hop than you might expect from the divine miss M, but it’s awesome all the same.
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10. Aretha Franklin – ‘Ain’t No Way’
Speaking of artists this list wouldn’t be complete without, Aretha Franklin is perhaps the definitive empowering female artist. And much in the same way Girls Trip avoids the obvious with the Mariah track, instead of going for ‘Respect’, as you might expect, we’ve got ‘Ain’t No Way’, a bit of a down tempo and thoughtful end to this party AF list. The perfect soundtrack to the kind of meditative introspection that comes with a weekend of debauchery and distraction. So sit back, relax, reflect, let the experience soak in.
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‘Girls Trip’ is out now on 4K Ultra HD™, Blu-Ray™, DVD & Digital
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I made a blog! I’m gonna be documenting me and Deborah’s Honeymoon. Here’s a picture from when she decided to dye her hair on the way to London. I thought it was hilarious but she didn’t take too kindly to me laughing every time we made eye contact. Hopefully she’ll get over it because that color doesn’t look like it’s coming out any time soon. I really am loving the earrings though. Now that I’ve gotten a chance to look at this picture without laughing hysterically, the pink really does bring out her eyes. She’s such a beauty isn’t she? 
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randrvstheworld · 6 years
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The Cotopaxi Diaries
We have just returned from 4, blissful, wifi-less days in the Cotopaxi mountains & OH what a 4 days it has been! 
We arrived after a two-hour (& very bumpy as we approached the mountains) shuttle from the sister hostel in Quito. I don’t know what I expected but in short, Secret Garden Cotpaxi is a beautiful countryside paradise; the hostel itself is comprised of several cabins (with wood-fires) & hobbit-homes, a large communal house where everyone eats dinner together & surrounded by beautiful gardens, ponds with ducks, fields full of horses & llamas, & an epic mountain range surrounding it all. After a welcome-wagon mug of mulled wine by the fireplace we set off on a short hike to a nearby waterfall. The hostel beagles, Luna & Cooper, weaving through our legs as we trekked through a thick forest, scrambled over rocks until we reached the waterfall & the pools. Gabby, Roxy & I were decked out in our primary-coloured raincoats & were then joined in a photo by Bailey (one of the volunteers) in green & another guest in purple & together we formed a human rainbow in front of the waterfall! it’s chilly & damp in the mountains so we were very grateful for the roaring fire when we got back. 
Our stay included all our meals (& freshly made snacks at 5pm), & before dinner everyone hangs out in the communal house, drinking coffee & nibbling on tasty treats & cuddling with the hostel dogs (there are five: two beagles, Luna & Cooper; the sausage dogs, Mash & Daisy & Milo, the majestic Dalmatian). There’s a long dining table where we all ate dinner together, during which time we met some really lovely folks over the course of our stay: Jack & Ellie, a couple from Devon & their friend Jen; Dan, a slightly crotchety but nonetheless hilarious & good-natured Brummie chef; Bernie, a hilarious & very German German; Harold & Deborah (more germans & a very sweet couple), Oreo Dude (aka Daniel, a Dutch guy & his very sweet girlfriend); an American guy called Nick & his cute 11-year old some Charlie; a bunch more British chicks; a cool girl from London called Tash; some funny Australians & a sweet Californian girl called Christina not to mention the volunteers: Bailey (Canadian); Victor from Argentina who looks EXACTLY like Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride; Jimmy (pseudo-philospher & a very cool dude with excellent conversation & taste in music) & lovely Sandra who was very complimentary about my sketchbook. After almost 5 months of being away, it was the closest I’ve felt to being at home with a family; home-cooked good, lovely people, utter coziness.
On our first night we decided to crack into some lovely warming red wine & an evening in the jacuzzi, situated in a greenhouse at the top of the property. We were joined by Warwick & Ricky from down undah & lovely Jen, the teacher from the UK. We hung out & drank wine until Warwick (who up until this point had seemed quite interesting, he’s a graphic designer so we had lots of arty stuff in common to talk about) uttered the immortal, spine-chilling words “sometimes I like to listen to psy-trance” closely followed by “here’s a video of me spinning fire-sticks in my psy-trance pants” to which we were like NOPE! & left for bed. Nothing, NOTHING cools the soul quite like a grown-man who’s into psy-trance. Gabby & I were in a tent that night (sounds worse than it was - it was huge, with a big blow-up mattress & a heater & heaps of blankets & was encased in a little wooden shelter) & we giggled our asses off before falling asleep in excellent spirits. 
The next day we rose for a sunrise, pretty impressive given the previous night’s wine consumption. However it was somewhat disappointing due to heavy cloud cover so instead we marinaded ourselves in coffee & steeled ourselves for a day’s hiking. We ate a hearty breakfast & packed little rucksacks & headed for the Pasachoa trail: us, Jack, Ellie, Jen & Bernie, guided by Victor & all five of the dogs. It was beautiful; very rugged, lots of interesting plants, & if it hadn’t been for the looming mountains reminded me quite a bit of the Devonshire moors & various dog-walks I have taken there with Mum & Angus & Scout. It was pretty wet making some parts of the climb a little hairy, throw in the fact that I’m not used to any kind of altitude really & at some points I felt very dizzy. The whole hike took around 6 hours & it was tough but worth it. When we had finally clambered our way to the summit we had hot tea & sandwiches & took photos; it was very misty & spooky. The trail had taken us through a very steep & eerie mountainside forest, all gnarled & crooked trees covered in moss & steeped in mist, trees with bark like paper & wildflowers, like something out of a fairy tale. Victor had to put the littlest sausage dog into his coat to keep warm.
After our snack it was time to descend, & by descend, I mean literally slide down a mountain feeling somewhat terrified that we were going to slip to our deaths at any moment. At one point I was literally hanging onto some long grass, my feet dangling off the floor. Thankfully our group was awesome, so supportive & fun & we helped eachother & had super interesting chats the whole way back, hopping over streams, sneaking through long grass, admiring the wildflowers & generally feeling like we were on a Hobbit-esque adventure to destroy The One Ring. On our arrival back at the ranch we gratefully hopped into hot showers (Gabby & I had now relocated into one of the cabins with Roxy) & I spent the remainder of the evening working in my sketchbook by the open fire.
Day three saw us go on a horse-back trek through Cotopaxi National Park. It was a clear, crisp, bright day & so for the first time since our arrival we were treated to the sight of the Cotopaxi Volcano’s snow-capped peak. Without fail this was one of the most beautiful views of my entire life. The volcano is active so we even saw it emitting little puffs of fluffy steam.
We had to drive a short while to get to the park & were greeted by a paddock of beautiful horses, in thick blanket-y saddles. Despite the sun it was brisk & still kinda cool so we, like the horses, were wrapped up warm. We were appointed our steeds for the day, got our helmets on & off we went. We started slow, a casual amble while enjoying the spectacular view of the volcano, a herd of rainbow-coloured raincoats. My horse was oddly competitive & kept hustling to the front near Bernie’s & when Bernie asked if we could go for a gallop without any prompting from me whatsoever my horse just took off! So off we galloped for a few minutes before we had to stop & catch up with everyone else, before stopping at a cute circular thatched hut so the orses could have a snack & we could have mint tea & banana cake.
On our way back going slow was no longer an option. My horse, now fuelled up on hay & with a taste for excitement would not stop galloping, especially when Bernie’s horse was nearby. Together we galloped through the desert, over the bones & skulls of smaller animals, faster & faster; at one point Bernie & I were just racing along laughing hysterically, it was just so surreal. To have that much space to enjoy a horse ride - literally just green & mountains & animal bones & rugged shrubbery as far as the eye could see. I’ve honestly never experienced that feeling of unadulterated freedom. At one point, my horse & I had disbanded from the group & were completely alone. It was blissful. Just us, surrounded by nature, hair whipping in the wind, faces to the sun.
I sorely paid for the two hours of intense galloping later however; my whole body felt like it had been beaten about  with a lump-hammer. I spent another evening with Gabby sat by the fire, reading & painting, followed by the next day of the same also while Roxy went on another hike (we’d be persuaded to stay an extra night at this point as originally were going to leave after our horse-back adventure); I would’ve enjoyed another hike but my knee was in a state of disrepair after the previous two days so I decided to give it a bit of a rest. So Gabby & I had the most relaxing day of literally all time; reading, drawing, hair-braiding, eating banana cake, chain-drinking coffees & cuddling the dogs. I made a painting to leave as a gift as a thank you for having me as it was truly, unforgettably wonderful.
A soggy Roxy re-emerged around 3pm & then it was just time to scarf down lunch before we bundled ourselves & our bags onto the minibus & bade goodbye to paradise with heavy hearts.
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