#december was the best month for anons and interaction in general i think

[bonesliketambourines]

Hiya! It's the Festive Fanfic Author Ask! Drop this on or off Anon into the askbox of your favorite authors you'd like to know better: Which one of your own fics do you think feels the most You to you? Which one of your stories would you suggest to read if someone wanted to get the gist of your personality?

Hi there anon!

I got this ask twice, so I’m going to answer it in two somewhat varying ways, if you don’t mind indulging me! I’ve posted part two here.

This was a tough question, and my friends can attest that I panicked and said “what if you don’t have an actual personality and are in fact just a cobbled-together mishmash of every person you’ve ever found cool” when I first got it. But the more I looked at it, the more it made me think, so thank you for that!

First, I’d like to say that a little bit of me goes into every single one of my stories. I can honestly say that out of everything I’ve written (and that will be 50 Drarry works in 2020 once I post my December drabble, can you believe?), none of them were anything less than from the heart. That doesn’t always translate to an excellent fic, of course, that wouldn’t be realistic, but all of them are Me, at least a little bit.

In these asks, though, there are two fics I’m going to highlight, and this part got super wordy so I’m putting it under a cut; thanks to anyone who reads through to the end of my rambles haha.

The first one is just tell me when it’s alright, which was my @hd-wireless 2020 contribution. This was my second major fest fic for the Drarry fandom (and my second major writing attempt in years; I abandoned fanfic and my other fandom in 2012 and just came back to it again in 2019, and didn’t start interacting properly with fandom and writing until 2020), and I poured a lot of time and effort into this fic. It was an idea I’d had for months, but if it weren’t for @tackytigerfic pushing me to sign up for the fest, and the unending support of the friends I’ve made this year, including but not limited to @maesterchill @shealwaysreads and @p1013, it would have lingered forever unfulfilled in my mind.

This was also a pretty major fic for me in that it was written from Harry’s POV. I tend to gravitate to writing from Draco’s eyes (which I’ll address in the second part of this answer), but this story could only have been told from Harry’s perspective, and I was very nervous about that.

I love Harry Potter as a character; I always have. There’s a lot of negative to be said about the source material and the author (let me just stop here to say that TERFs are not feminists, feminism isn’t feminism unless it’s intersectional, and transphobia and any other type of bigotry is not welcome on my blog; I am fallible and make mistakes but I always want to learn, so if I’m saying or doing something wrong please don’t be afraid to message me, and if you don’t agree with my above statements please unfollow me), but the Harry Potter series did so much to enchant an entire generation of kids and get them into reading; its importance really cannot be understated, and it’s doing the series a disservice to minimize its impact.

There was a time in the HP fandom where disliking the character of Harry Potter was sort of en vogue, and I never understood that. Here we have a boy who experienced some of the very worst humanity had to offer, and came out on the other side still brave, and kind, and forgiving, and generous, and good. He was handed the shittiest luck imaginable, and he wasn’t the smartest, or the most magically talented, but because he was able to rise above it all and love he was able to triumph.

As I grow older, as I see more and more of what this world is like, and how the systems of power in both my country and others actually function, I find myself returning to the story of a boy who became a man much too soon, who was given no breaks and provided no quarter, who watched as friends and family alike died around him, and despite it all managed to do good. What a powerful message. What a powerful character. What an incredible example, for a young child growing up in the divisive environment we find ourselves in these days; a fictional hero who won not by strength, or cleverness, or outwitting and othering his enemies, but by love.

So, with all of that, how could I ever write from the perspective of this character?? I’m much better at writing from the eyes of someone who sees and loves Harry, I’d always thought. But again, this story necessitated being told by Harry, and so I had to do it.

I probably spent more time thinking about this fic than I did writing it. I agonized and stressed and worked myself into a lather about how I was going to make it live up to the idea I had in my head. How, I thought, am I ever going to get such an iconic character right?

This Harry has a lot of darkness in him, a lot of sadness that, based on the comments I got, resonated with quite a few people. He’s traumatized, and he’s unaware of many parts of himself because he was never allowed to learn or to grow, and he’s still trying so hard to live up to the idealized image of himself he was confronted with the second he stepped through that archway into Diagon Alley when he was eleven. He’s not straight but he’s not gay, and he doesn’t know how to articulate what he wants or how he feels; and once he does figure it out, once things seem to settle for him, he’s suddenly up against yet another enemy to battle, but this time it’s his own mind.

Depression is an insidious, horrific thing. It slinks into your mind and crushes you down while simultaneously tricking you into thinking you’re not that bad off, and this is normal, and everyone probably feels this way, and who are you to complain after all? It slowly chips away at your joy and your purpose until you’re left surrounded by an uncleaned house and an inability to do anything to right yourself, no matter how much you want to. I don’t think it would be surprising to anyone to know that I’ve dealt with depression for my entire life, back almost as long as I can remember; I struggle with the apathy it presses into me daily, and there are days when, just like the Harry in this story, I can’t get out of bed, I can’t make my home a pleasing, calming place for me to be, and I can’t do anything but dwell on what I’ve done wrong and who I’ve done it to, and how they’re all going to leave.

There were scenes in this story that were incredibly hard to write. There are scenes that I had a hard time re-reading when I went back and revisited this story a few weeks ago. But this, more than anything else I’ve ever written, is the closest I’ve ever come to addressing my own personal demons, to articulating how it feels to be pinned in place by your own brain like that. And truly, Harry Potter himself was the only character I could ever write who would be able to fully embody this particular battle that so many of us face.

This fic has some of the sex scenes I’m most proud of, and some of the character interactions I like the best, but at its core it’s about a young adult adrift in the world, battling with his own brain and doing his best to bring himself some measure of peace and happiness. And for that, as hard as parts of this were to write (and read), I will always be thankful I was given the opportunity to publish this.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you.

#ask me whatever #fandom asks #fandom stuff #thoughts on writing #my fic #depression tw #in which lis has too many feelings and makes you read about them #about me #harry potter

[dackewins1]

Dear Luxor, @luxoracademy @luxorstarters @luxorgossip

This is a letter for anyone in Luxor and anyone thinking of joining. I’m sure there will be some sort of letter from the Admins saying this isn’t true and I am just a disgruntled member. But, I am a disgruntled member and the Admins are why I am disgruntled. I joined Luxor June 1st of 2020 and it was an amazing experience at first but I soon realized there were many problems. 

The first problem with Luxor is one they have suffered from before and supposedly “fixed” which in reality they hadn’t. This RP suffers from cliques and it stems from the Admins. The Admins generally “pick” who they enjoy and only seem to talk to those specific people and even create separate chats with those people. I have tried to rp with the admins and none of them have seemed to care enough to continue threads or interact with members unless it’s those they like the best of all of the members. 

I’ll be the first to admit the first time I cried and had a panic attack about this RP was my own fault. I didn’t realize I would be triggered and when it came up the Admin I contacted was helpful even though I was drunk at the time. This was June 2nd.

In the first weeks, June 14th, I was at Luxor the Admins gave me a “warning” because another person in the Rp complained about me to the Admins and they took that person’s word over my own. In fact the Admins didn’t even ask for my opinion on the matter or for my side of the story. The following of this paragraph will be explaining what happened in my own words. This problem started without my knowing and I was not a part of the RPG. People that I knew who were a part of Luxor were talking about a specific person because they didn’t understand a character. The person who had been there the longest had a falling out with myself and a few others and decided to blame us for their own words and judgment. This was the moment I knew something was wrong with this RP and I had a panic attack because of all of this. This was June 12th.

The next few weeks would be filled with problems of trying to RP with specific people and realizing only so many of this RP actually were okay with interacting with newbies. I thought this would go away in time but it did not. Still I held out because the people I had met were wonderful and brilliant people and despite the RP’s problems I like the friends I had made along the way. I did notice early on that some people didn’t have to follow the rules to the precise letter and others did. I summed this up to those people being new and the others weren’t. The Admins especially do not want to interact with new people and expect those new people to follow their rules while the Admins themselves do not have to follow the rules. 

A few months later, October 2nd, the Admins would try to solve problems by asking for their members' concerns. I gave mine and the Admins generally told me no and dismissed my concerns, and comments. One of these problems is the fact that their own banner is one of their FCs. If that doesn’t say this is the main character of an RP I’m not sure what does. Customarily, I am used to no FCs being used on any banner, header, or icon. Luxor does not follow this unspoken rule.

On December 28th a discord event happened. The Admins dropped one secret and that frustrated some people. Because of this Anons were sent to the main and the admins got upset. Specifically Nora. The last time secrets were released, 10 secrets were released and I like others expected this secret drop to be the same amount. I am not going to apologize for any of the messages, in frustration people do dumb things and it is something people have to deal with. Because of these messages Luxor was completely shut down and the Admins expected those who had sent the anons to come forward. Thus was the start of a witch hunt. 

It took two days for the Admins to “find someone” and blame them for the messages. To this person I owe you the biggest apology. You were given the harshest punishment for being upset and I know that never feels good. I also owe someone else an apology, to you my friend I am so sorry. I never want you to feel the way I made you feel, you have amazing characters and you are someone I trust and I broke that. I hope someday you can trust me again, you and the person who was blamed are the victims here and I am so sorry. I never meant for anyone to get hurt.

Since June 1st I have had multiple panic attacks and moments when I have been in tears frustrated over Luxor’s Admins. The people I have met in Luxor have been amazing most of the time but those who ended up close to the Admins and icing the rest of the RP have been the reason why I am writing this letter. To those who did not see this coming and I consider my friends I am sorry this seems sudden but my health is more important than the people who’ve given me multiple panic attacks. For my friends always feel you can reach out to me on Discord, I do still want to be your friend and wish you the best. 

Sincerely,

Three Characters, and a disgruntled Mun.

#luxortask #luxorintro #luxorstart #luxoractivity #luxoradmin #luxorevent #luxorfollow #//ooc post #//ooc post for what's up

[iridescentides]

hi again dia! happy first day of december ❤️💚 i wanted to ask you what, in your opinion, are the 5 most underrated dcoms? i remember you saying before that you've watched all of them so i'd love to hear your opinions 😊 - 🎅🎁🎄

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH secret santa you are so good! asking me all the best questions 💜

okay so i literally had to make a list of all the dcoms i consider underrated and then narrow down a top 5. theres lots of dcoms that i love, but that i think got the right amount of attention and care (like lemonade mouth and the teen beach movies, for example), so this list just focuses on ones that deserved more hype for their quality level.

5. The Cheetah Girls: One World (2008)

okay so even as i type this i feel like a hypocrite. i have only watched this movie one time. BUT i can acknowledge that its one of the most criminally underrated dcoms ever, tons of people didnt watch it simply because raven wasnt in it. thats why i avoided it as a child, and i didnt get around to watching it until i did my big dcom binge in 2016. and it was so good. theres a really long post floating somewhere around tumblr full of specifics on why its actually the best cheetah girls movie (my favorite is the second one purely out of nostalgia), so to paraphrase some points from that post:

its a solid example of cultural appreciation, rather than appropriation, as the girls go and learn about bollywood and indian culture together

the indian characters arent treated like props or unimportant sides, they get their own agency and storylines that are important

the songs are good!!!

basically this movie was overlooked and slept on even though in terms of role modeling and social value, and just like the first two cheetah girls movies it was important and impactful.

4. Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure (2011)

okay so as someone whos very neutral and occasionally negative-leaning towards the hsm franchise (mostly bc its overhyped and not really representative of all dcoms), i was pleasantly surprised by sharpays fabulous adventure. this is another one that i know lots of people skipped right over and dont hold with as much esteem as the main hsm franchise, and that doesnt sit right with me.

i do not agree with the “uwu sharpay was the real victim in hsm” arguments bc in their efforts to look galaxy brained the people who say that overlook the fact that she was a rich white woman who used her power and status to exercise control over opportunities that should have been fairly and freely available for all; they were not “making a mockery of her theater” in the first movie, they were literally just kids who wanted to try out a new school activity that everyone was supposed to be allowed to participate in; and despite allegedly learning her lesson and singing we’re all in this together with everyone at the end of the first movie, she literally showed no growth in the second movie as she fostered an openly hostile environment and favored troy so heavily that it literally cost him his friends, all as part of yet another jealous plan to take things away from people who already have less than her. she was NOT the victim in the main franchise, and she did not seem to exhibit any growth or introspection either.

and that!!! is why sharpays fabulous adventure was so important. in focusing on sharpay as the main character, they finally had to make her likeable. they did this by showing actual real growth and putting her outside of her sphere of influence and control. we saw true vulnerability from her, instead of the basic ass “mean girl is sad bc shes actually just super insecure” trope (cough cough radio rebel), and this opened us up to finally learn about and care about her character. throughout the movie we see her learn, from her love interests example, how to care for others and be considerate. she faces actual adversity and works through it, asking herself what she truly wants and what shes capable of. and in the end, when she finally has her big moment, we’re happy for her bc she worked hard to get there. she becomes a star through her own merit and determination, rather than through money and connections. this movie is not perfect by any means, but it is severely underrated for the amount of substance it adds to sharpays character.

3. The Swap (2016)

okay i know im gonna get shit for this but thats why its on this list!!! just like sharpays fabulous adventure, its not perfect and definitely misses the mark sometimes, but it deserves more attention and love for all the things it did get right!

the swap follows two kids who accidentally switch bodies because of their emotional attachment to their dead/absent parents’ phones. and while i normally HATE the tv/movie trope of a dead parent being the only thing that builds quick sympathy for a young character, they definitely expanded well enough to where we could root for these kids even without the tragedy aspect. we see them go through their daily struggles and get a feel for their motivations as characters pretty well. as a body switching movie, we expect it to be all goofy and wacky and lighthearted, but it moves beyond that in unexpected ways.

the reason the swap is on this list is for its surprisingly thoughtful commentary on gender roles. its by no means a feminist masterpiece, and its not going to radicalize kids who watch it, but it conveys a subtle, heartfelt message that deserves more appreciation. the characters struggle with the concept of gender in a very accurate way for their age, making off-base comments and feeling trapped by the weight of expectations they cant quite put their finger on. we watch them feel both at odds with and relieved by the gender roles they are expected and allowed to perform in each others bodies, and one of the most interesting parts of the movie to me is their interactions with the other kids around them. as a result of their feeling out of place in each others environments, the kids inadvertently change each others friendships for the better by introducing new communication styles and brave authenticity. 

the value of this movie is the subtle, but genuine way it shows the characters growing through being given the space to act in conflicting ways to their expected norms. ellie realizes that relationships dont have to be complex, confusing, and painful, and that its okay to not live up to appearances and images. jack learns that emotional expression is good, healthy, and especially essential to the grieving process. one of the most powerful scenes in the movie comes at the end where, after ellie confronts jacks dad in his body, jack returns as himself to a very heartfelt apology from his father for being too hard on him; the explicit message (”boys can cry”) is paired with an open expression of love and appreciation for his kids that he didnt feel comfortable displaying until his son set an example through honest communication. this is such an empowering scene and overall an empowering movie for kids who may feel stuck in their expected roles, as it sets a positive example for having the courage to break the restrictive societal mold. for its overall message of the importance of introspection and emotional intelligence, the swap is extremely underrated.

2. Freaky Friday (2018)

this is my favorite dcom, and probably my favorite movie at this point. ive always assigned a lot of personal value to this movie (and i love every freaky friday in general), for the message of selfless familial love and understanding. i know i can get carried away talking about this topic; i got an anon ask MONTHS ago asking me about the freaky friday movies and i wrote a super super long detailed response that i never posted bc i didnt quite finish talking about the 2018 movie. and thats bc on a personal level, i cant adequately convey all the love i have for this movie. so i will try to keep this short.

first lets state the obvious: the reason people dont like this movie is bc its not the lindsay lohan version. and i get that, to an extent, bc i also love the 2003 version and its one of my ultimate comfort movies, and grew up watching it and ive seen it a billion times. i even watched it a couple days ago. but the nostalgia goggles that people have on from the early 2000s severely clouds their judgement of the wonderful 2018 remake.

yes, the 2018 version is dorky, overly simplistic plot wise, a bit stiff at times, and super cheesy like any dcom. the writing isnt 100% all the time. the narrative takes a couple confusing turns. the song biology probably shouldnt have been included. i understand this. but at the heart of it all, this movies value is love. and its edge over all the other freaky friday movies is the songs.

on a personal level, the movie speaks heavily to me. i cried very early into my first viewing of the movie bc i got to see dara renee, a dark-skinned, non-skinny actress, playing the mean popular girl on disney channel. that has never happened before. growing up, i saw the sharpays and all the other super thin white women get to be the “popular” girls on tv, and ultimately they were taken down in the end for being mean, but that doesnt change the fact that they were given power and status in the first place for being conventionally beautiful. so, watching dara renee strut around confidently and sing about being the queen bee at this high school got to me immediately. and in general, the supporting cast members of color really mean a lot to me in this movie. we get to see adam, an asian male love interest for the main character. we have a second interracial relationship in the movie with katherines marriage to mike. ellies best friend karl is hispanic. and we see these characters have depth and plot significance, we see them show love, care, and passion for the things they value. the brown faces in this movie are comforting to me personally. additionally, the loving, blended family dynamic is important to me as someone in a close-knit, affectionate step-family.

but on a more general level, this movie is underrated for its skillful musical storytelling and the way it conveys all kinds of love and appreciation. in true freaky friday fashion, we watch ellie and katherine stumble and misstep in their attempts to act like each other. its goofy and fun. but through it all, the music always captures the characters’ intimate thoughts and feelings. the opening song gives us a meaningful view into ellie and katherines relationship and the fundamental misunderstandings that play a role in straining their connection. ellie sings about how she thinks her mom wants her to be perfect, and her katherine sings about all the wonderful traits she sees in her daughter and how she wants her to be more open and self assured. this is meaningful bc even as theyre mad at each other, the love comes through. the songs continue to bring on the emotional weight of the story, as ellie sings to her little brother about her feelings of hurt and abandonment in her fathers absence. the song “go” and its accompanying hunt scene always make me cry bc of the childlike wonder and sense of adventure that it brings. for the kids, its a coming of age, introspective song. for katherine who gets to participate in ellies body, its a reminder of youth and the rich, full life her daughter has ahead of her. she is overcome with excitement, both from getting to be a teenager again for a day, and from the realization that her daughter has a support network and passions that are all her own. today and ev’ry day, the second to last song, is the culmination of the lessons learned throughout the movie, a mother and daughters tearful commitment to each other to love, protect, and understand one another. the line “if today is every day, i will hold you and protect you, i wont let this thing affect you” gets to me every time. even when things are hard and dont go according to plan, they still agree, in this moment, to be there for each other. and thats what all freaky friday stories are ultimately about.

freaky friday 2018 is a beautiful, inclusive, subversive display of familial love, sacrifice, and selflessness, and it is underrated and overlooked because of its more popular predecessor.

1. Let It Shine (2012)

this is another one of my favorite dcoms and movies in the whole world. unlike the other movies on this list, it is not the viewers themselves that contribute to the underrated-ness of this movie. disney severely under-promoted and under-hyped this movie in comparison to its other big musical franchises, and i will give you five guesses as to why, but youll only need one!

let it shine is the most beautifully, unapologetically black dcom in the whole collection. (i would put jump in! at a notable second in this category, but that one wasnt underrated). this movie was clearly crafted with care and consideration. little black kids got to see an entire dcom cast that represented them. the vernacular used in the script is still tailored mostly to white-favoring audiences, but with some relevant slang thrown in there. in short, the writers got away with the most blackness they were allowed to inject into a disney channel project.

the story centers on rap music and its underground community in atlanta, georgia. it portrays misconceptions surrounding rap, using a church setting as a catalyst for a very real debate surrounding a generational, mutlicultural conflict. this was not a “safe” movie for disney, given its emphasis on religious clashes with contemporary values. it lightly touches on issues of image policing within the black community (cyrus’s father talking about how “our boys” are running around with sagging pants and “our girls” are straying away from god), which is a very real and pressing problem for black kids who feel the pressure (from all sides) of representing their whole race with their actions. its a fun, adorable story about being yourself and staying true to your art, but also a skillful representation of struggles unique to black and brown kids and children from religious backgrounds.

on top of crafting a fun, wholesome, thoughtful narrative and likeable protagonists, let it shine brought us what is in my opinion the BEST dcom soundtrack of all time. every single song is a bop. theyre fast, fun, and lyrically engaging. “me and you” is my favorite disney channel song of all time due to its narrative significance; i will never forget my first time watching the movie and seeing that big reveal unfold onstage, as a conversation and a plot summary all wrapped into a song. the amount of thought and care that went into the music of this movie should have been rewarded with a level of attention on par with that of other musical dcoms.

if disney channel had simply cared about let it shine more, it couldve spanned franchises and sold songs the way that other musical dcoms have drawn in success. i would have loved for a sequel that explored and fleshed out cyrus’s neighborhood a little bit more, and maybe dipped into that underground scene they caught a glimpse of. i wanted a follow up on the changed church community once cyrus’s father started supporting his sons vision. i want so much more for these characters and this world than disney gave them in just one movie.

for its bold, unabashed representation of blackness and religion, subtle, nuanced presentation of race-specific issues, strong, likeable characters, and complex, thoughtful songs, let it shine is the most underrated dcom.

and because i made a full list before i started writing this post, here are some honorable mentions:

going to the mat (2004)

gotta kick it up! (2002)

tru confessions (2002)

dont look under the bed (1999)

invisible sister (2015)

#this took me embarassingly long to write #i cant help myself i literally think about this all the time #youre doing a great job with these questions secret santa! #dcoms #disney channel #answered asks #anons #gcwca secret santa #Anonymous

[totally-incorrect-theatre-quotes]

Festival of Lights (Fanfic)

With the help of several of my wonderful followers (including: @lgbt-fandom-fae @i-was-over-on-the-bench and anons) I was able to write a completely fluffy, angst-free, and hopefully accurately written short story about Lydia celebrating the first night of Hanukkah with Wendy, Wendy’s family, and BJ. 

I cannot thank my followers enough for teaching me about Hanukkah, as a non-Jewish person the last thing I would want to do is incorrectly write about the holiday!

______________________________________________________________

Lydia had met Wendy’s family before. She had gotten to know her parents and her two brothers pretty well in the past two and a half months and she didn’t know why she was so nervous about this particular evening, but when Wendy invited her over for the first night of Hanukkah she instantly worried she’d do something horribly wrong. She had an approximate idea of what Hanukkah was, her family celebrated Christmas when she was growing up but they taught her about other religions. She just wanted to make a good impression because this was the first major family event Lydia had been invited too and she didn’t want to ruin it with her ignorance of their traditions. 

“What can you tell me about Hanukkah?” Lydia asked BJ who was hanging upstairs in the attic with the Maitlands, “Wendy invited me over to her house to celebrate with her family and I have no clue what I’m doing, like I know it’s compared to Christmas but do I get her a gift? If I do what am I supposed to get her? If they pray do I join them or do I just respectfully stand there and listen because I’m not Jewish?”

“Kid you are making a way bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. It’s been a while since I’ve had a real Hanukkah but the worst thing you can do is this.” Beetlejuice gestured widely to her in general, “You freaking out about it is going to make everything so fucking awkward. Think about it, do you think this Wanda is overthinking what she’s gonna do when you invite her over to our humble abode for Christmas?”

Lydia shook her head, she hadn’t even considered Wendy mulling over the details of Christmas. It was just a casual thing in her family, they weren’t even super religious about it, when she was little they went to some church service with her grandparents but that was about it. Mainly it was just a bunch of fun little traditions and being with family. 

“Just follow her lead, and bring me home some latkes. I’d kill for some good ones, my mom was a shitty cook but damn could she make some good latkes.”

Lydia spent the rest of the afternoon casually scrolling through websites on Hanukkah traditions before quickly wrapping the presents she had gotten for Wendy and her family , with the help from Delia, and her dad drove her over to the Blackwood house. Wendy only lived about a ten-minute walk from her house but since it was the middle of December in Connecticut her dad insisted on driving her over. Lydia held the presents wrapped in blue paper anxiously in her hand when he rang the doorbell. Wendy greeted her excitedly with a big smile and pulled her into a welcoming hug. She grabbed her hand and pulled her into the kitchen where Lydia could instantly smell the pleasant scent of potatoes frying on the stove, Wendy’s father yelping when some of the hot oil splashed up from the pan and onto his hand. Her brother Silas was sitting at the table playing a board game with her other Levi who Lydia was surprised was home, Wendy had told her he was in Oregon for a job interview. 

“Mom, dad! Lydia’s here!” Wendy yelled

“Oh, hello Lydia! It’s so nice to have you here, Wendy’s been talking about it all day, she’s very excited you wanted to-”

Wendy gave her mom a look Lydia often gave her family members when they were embarrassing her. She couldn’t help but snicker a little now that she knew Wendy was just as nervous about tonight going well as Lydia was, “I’m excited to be here too!” Lydia set her present down on the table where a few other envelopes and small packages were being stashed. 

Wendy’s father gestured for them to all sit down at the table and handed Lydia and Wendy a bowl of potatoes and asked them if they’d be willing to help him peal some more because he wanted to be sure they had enough ready so that Lydia could take latkes home for her family to try.  Lydia enjoyed the process so much that she ended up helping Wendy’s father fry an entire batch of them, and while hers were more so burned than golden brown he still said they looked delicious. She helped set the table for dinner and everything looked and smelled amazing. For dinner, they had rosemary chicken, latkes, and challah bread which Lydia promptly decided was the best bread that she had ever tasted in her life. Lydia offered to help with the dishes but her parents insisted that Silas and Levi would be more than willing to clean up for them, but judging from the looks they gave their sister it was obvious she must have paid them to do the dishes that night. 

For a while, the family just sat around the table chatting about what was going on in their lives and making polite chatter with Lydia who was now a lot less anxious now that the evening had gone underway. Though Wendy’s family was completely supportive of their relationship Wendy and Lydia kept their physical contact to a minimum, but still managed to hold hands underneath the table. Silas would always groan whenever he saw them doing couples stuff like hugging or holding hands, often teasing them by claiming they were already an old married couple. For a nine-year-old Silas was incredibly sarcastic, it often made Lydia wonder what it would be like if she had siblings but it had gotten to the point where Silas was like an honorary little brother. Lydia didn’t interact with Levi enough to have any kind of relationship with him so any conversation they had that night was pretty awkward in comparison to the casualness Lydia had with the rest of the family. 

“Okay so this part is strange but my family likes to have a contest to see who can eat the most of this one doughnut called Sufganiyot in sixty seconds. They are like super dense and full of jelly, it’s really funny.” Wendy was already doubled over laughing while she was trying to explain the rules, “One time my dad tried to stuff three in his mouth at once and he just got jelly everywhere on the table. It was a sticky mess for like two weeks afterward.”

“Do you have to tell that story every year!” he defended, “You were like six years old I don’t even know how you remember it.”

“Dad how could I forget! I wish I had it on camera!”

Lydia lost the contest miserably, she was only able to eat about two and a half donuts before the timer went off. Silas was actually the winner eating a whole five and three quarters which was extremely impressive considering the next closest had only been able to eat four She probably could have done better but she loved the tasted of them and didn’t want to just swallow them down without enjoying the flavor. Besides the fun part was watching the rest of the family try. Wendy ended up with jelly all over the one side of her mouth. Wendy’s mom, much to her embarrassment, tried to wipe it off before Wendy ducked under her arm and wiped it off herself with a wet paper towel. Silas, feeling extremely confident from him recent victory, challenged everyone to a round of dreidle which later turned into six rounds where chocolate coins Lydia learned were called gelt and small trinkets were added to the pot and the rules seemed to constantly be changing. It didn’t really matter who was winning or losing, she was just enjoying spending time with Wendy’s family. Even Levi was warming up to Lydia, playfully teasing her when the dreidle would land on shin. 

Lydia hadn’t even noticed how quickly the time had been flying by but when she glanced outside the kitchen window it was pitch blackout and the stars were shining in the sky. Wendy stood next to Lydia while the family gathered around the Menorah. Silas, Levi, and Mr. Blackwood were all wearing blue and silver yarmulkes on their heads and bowing their heads respectfully while they began to say the blessing of the evening. Lydia bowed her head respectfully and watched observantly as Mrs. Blackwood took the middle candle that Wendy whispered was called the Shamash and used it to light the first candle. While the first candle was being lit the family sang a blessing in Hebrew by the third repetition Wendy was coaxing Lydia to join them, while she wasn’t perfect with the pronunciation she managed to finish the song along with the rest of the family,  “Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tsivanu l'hadlik ner shel Hanukkah”

The Shamash had been placed back in the Menorah and Mr. Blackwood began to sing a blessing that Wendy explained quietly was called “hanerot halalu” which was customary to be recited after the candle of the evening had been kindled. The family smiled at the end of the blessing and Lydia couldn’t help but to feel to the volume of love in the household while they all stood around the now illuminated Menorah. While it was not a tradition she had grown up with it was a memory that she would forever cherish. She reached out fo Wendy’s hand and grabbed it in hers as her subtle way of thanking her for inviting her to join in the experience. After a few seconds, they all sat at the table again and exchanged presents. Levi and Wendy both got cards with a bit of money in the as well as a little bag of chocolates, Silas got a new video game and a dinosaur lego set. Lydia watched beaming as the family opened their presents from her, she even earned a smile from the hard to please Silas when he unwrapped a remote control car she had gotten him. She blushed when Wendy gushed over how pretty the necklace she had gotten her was. She immediately had her father help her put it on and was holding the blue pendant between her two fingers and grinning in glee. Lydia’s face turned even redder when she received a gift from Wendy’s parents, she and Wendy had already agreed to give each other presents on each other’s respective holidays so Lydia was thrown off guard to be getting a gift from the Blackwoods. She gently unwrapped the tissue paper and held the present close to her chest when she saw the little mason jar filled with gelt coins, her own dreidel, and a blessing written in fancy scrawl.

“I know you said you didn’t want a Hanukkah present because you’re not Jewish but my parents wanted to give you a memento to remember your first time celebrating.” Wendy smiled, Lydia rambled about how much she loved it and hugged everyone in the family. For another hour everyone sat around talking, laughing, and celebrating. It came too quickly when Lydia got the text saying he was in the driveway. The Blackwoods refused to send Lydia home empty-handed and they handed her a bag with leftover latkes and sufganiyot. Just like every time they had to say goodbye the two girls were incredibly dramatic, as if they weren’t planning on facetiming later that night, or had plans to hang out at Lydia’s house for Christmas. When they were sure none of the family members were lurking around the corner Lydia tugged on Wendy’s collar and planted a quick goodbye kiss on her lips and hugged her goodnight. 

The whole car ride home Lydia talked her father’s ear off about how wonderful the evening was and how much fun she had. When she got home she searched eagerly for Beetlejuice ready to tell him all about it, she found him in the kitchen ready to light his own menorah she and the Maitlands had gotten him when he mentioned how he missed celebrating Hanukkah. She was grateful that he hadn't finished celebrating for the night, she felt bad not being there on the first night with him but he told her that he honestly didn’t mind if she spent the night with “Williomehnia”, but she still wanted to be there for him too. Lydia joined them and surprised BJ when she sort of knew the words to the one blessing. She played dreidel with him and her family while they feasted on the food the Blackwood’s had sent home with her. She quickly ran upstairs to her room and returned with a silver-wrapped present and handed it to Beetlejuice who was pretending his heart wasn’t swelling with love when he opened it to find a stuffed bear wearing a Hanukkah sweater. 

Exhausted from a busy but amazing day Lydia went up to her room, snuggled up under the blankets with her cats and smiled as she thought about how a lot had changed for her in the past year of her life, and while for a long time she left like her entire family had fallen apart she was filled with pure love and joy when she thought about not only the family she had but the family she had found, and the family she had joined since she had met Wendy.

#lydia deetz #delia deetz #adam maitland #barbara maitland #charles deetz #lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth #presley ryan #sophia anne caruso #dana steingold #leslie kritzer #kerry butler #rob mcclure #alex brightman #beetlejuice #incorrect beetlejuice quotes #beetlegeuse #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice fanfic #beetlejuice fanfiction

[ivyandink]

a life update

if you’re interested! :) i know im the nosy person who loves reading about peoples’ personal lives, so if that’s you.... below the cut sis, i see you lol

I have been sooo absent from tumblr for months now! And I know I don’t owe any explanations or anything, but idk, I just thought it’d be kinda fun to share with you guys what’s been keeping my mind busy and away! So here goes nothin’.

I had one hell of a summer. Emphasis on hell. Read: Family DRAMA. Which left me in a pretty rough place mentally/emotionally. In a much, much better place with it all now (altho as I say that my crazy aunt has been texting me all day tryna drag me bag into stuff lol no rest for the wicked y’all). But, when you’re feeling kinda down, it’s hard to find the energy to create.

I am starting up my web design side hustle!!! Which has been a long time coming lol. I’ve been meaning to do this for years, but things never quite lined up or worked out. Last year, I finally felt like I was at a good place to start, so I have! This is by far taking up the most space in my brain for now, as I’m still getting things off the ground. It’s hard to balance starting a business while working full time, and also trying to have other hobbies/interests/social interaction lolol. PS: If you or anyone you know needs a website designed.... ;) just sayin’. I know a gal.......... me. It’s me. I’m the gal. Moving on. :)

I’ve been revisiting my novel. Idk if I ever talked about it much on here or just vaguely referenced it here and there? But last Spring (yikes almost a year ago.. BIG YIKES) I started a novel with the goal to finish by 2020. I wrote about 3 chapters and effectively scrapped it. lmao. So here we are! Revisiting the drawing board. FYI, this novel is an adaptation of my “Disapora” story if any of yall remember that hot ass M E S S-- aka, how Eli and Clem meet, fall in love and what not. My concept is to take my Ivy characters and kind of build them out their own book series... a series that would explore generational ties and relationships, and give me space to REALLY develop these characters I’ve loved so much. Like, I could gush and geek over this forever, but developing the old Elliot and Clementine into REAL characters (let’s be honest, their development had always been a little... lite lol) feels amazing, and seeing the same character yet also they’re so different?? It’s hard to explain, but it’s exciting, and fun, and a big, long-term project/goal of mine, and 2020 is the year I write the first book!!!! Or at least start it lol.

I lost my very best furry friend, my cat Juno, in December. See above for mental hardship making it hard to create. However, Seth and I have opened our hearts and home to two little ragdoll brothers , who we’ve had for a few weeks now, and are in love with. I think Juno would’ve really loved them too. ❤️ They’re a lil bad sometimes lol I like to think they’re in the preteen phase right now, and acting up and being extra. But they’re so cute and sweet and quirky, and already apart of our little family.

Then there’s just tons of misc things that have sucked up my time. Like: learning how to use my iPad Pro + Apple Pencil, creating a digital bullet journal with said iPad/Pencil combo, researching going back to college for my MSW to then become an LCSW (good LORD the acronyms in the field... kill m e) and become a therapist, researching houses we cannot afford???? literally wasting entire days looking on Trulia/Zillow/etc. lol, trying out a super DUPER extreme elimination diet to pinpoint some of my health issues (which i suspect might be autoimmune by nature, as it runs in the fam, despite me not being diagnosed-- and there is a lot of at the bare minimum anecdotal evidence that AI diseases are caused by food intolerances), went through a weird regression where I played Zelda for a few days lmao, and I’ve also taken up a daily manifestation journaling practice! And lord knows what else. :)

All of this is to say.... YEAH I’ve been busy. But here I am. I can’t make any promises to myself or others are my content, how often I’ll post, if I’ll ever even finish this dang story, or what. But!! That’s all good. :) I’m gonna let myself have fun with this hobby. Because for ME, I need something I can just have fun with. Read all the above points for things in my life that aren’t meant to be taken very seriously and leave no room for ‘just have fun with it’ and you’ll get it lolol. At the end of the day tho, I love tumblr, for as much shit as we all talk about it. It scratches a very particular itch for me, and it’s an enjoyable itch to scratch (???? weird metaphor but ok). It’s fun. I love the community (I’m good at blocking the icky blogs, and love my mutuals/followers/anons/people who interact). And I love having Like Ivy in the back of my head, getting ideas and inkings for it here and there, with no pressure on myself to do anything with it, right away. I want to keep this as my creative, free for all kinda space. But that might mean some radio silence here and there. I feel like most my main followers are also adults tho with busy lives??? So I’m sure y’all more than understand the struggle lolol. 

OH I almost forgot-- keep your 👀 peeled for the return of my Youtube channel this year! That was another fun hobby I enjoyed doing just for myself. I still need to figure out how I can make it work for me, in my new crazy life/schedule lol but alas!!!!! I’m a double scorpio and i LOVE a good challenge. Also might be a bit of a masochist??? So, I’ll figure it out, no worries lolol.

If you read this, and got all the way to the end without tapping out, I just wanted to say hey 👋 I see you. You’re awesome. I love you. Thanks for being interested in me. Also, we’re nosy creepers together, so we clearly have that in common 💁‍♀️ and idk! even if I’m not posting, I’m always lurking/around and always open to chat, answer asks, whatever. :) And if you have any questions about anything I wrote here, feel free to shoot them my way too!! All humans lowkey love talking about themselves (this post? case, and point oof). No shame~

Anyways-- thanks for reading!

#nonsims #yall wanna creep my life errr what #bc i wrote u a novel #:)

[callioope]

Another two months, it must be time for me to do an Iceberg post again. Yeah, I’m still here. Haven’t really made much progress, but still here. (Wedding planning is rough, and my wedding is in October. Literally only have 2 free weekends between now and then.)

Writing

Here are things I am currently working on, in order of priority:

1. Learning Curve | due ASAP, like, basically yesterday | current status:

Chapter 3: 10,160 words, with beta

Chapter 4: 1,298 words written, plot outline is complete

2. Rebelcaptain Food Travel AU - Turkey | due Nov 4 | current status: outline

3. How to Lose a Spy in 10 Days - sometime this coming winter

it’s very weird because this idea has been at the back of my mind since even before the Rom Com Challenge was started in June 2017 or whenever, but for some reason it’s proven very difficult for me to write. I guess it’s a little outside my comfort zone, which is a good thing but makes for slow going.

I do have a ton of other ideas that are sitting at the back of my mind that I want to work on. Maybe I’ll try to make moodboards or something first before committing to writing the actual story. Some of the ones I’m more excited about (which means, the ideas that distract me from brainstorming/plotting the ones listed above)

A Revel with Some Rebels - Luke/Bodhi meet cute fic inspired by ‘Helpless’ from Hamilton

Action Figure Prison Heist - when I opened my Elite Series action figures I photographed it like Jyn was breaking out of prison and rescuing Bodhi and Cassian. So I have all the pictures done, I just want to edit them and I have no idea what the best way is to present them. I took over 160 (some are different angles of the same shot so there will be some weeding)

You’ve Got Mail - in universe AU. Back in December an anon left me a very nice prompt which was to write an AU based on your go-to comfort movie. So I’m taking the general story of You’ve Got Mail and making it another Jyn-and-Cassian meet earlier kind of thing. Jyn runs her own rebel cell and Cassian, representing the Alliance, starts recruiting on the planet she’s holed up on. Also, somehow, they’ve been communicating anonymously (and knowingly as rebels, giving each other advice and so forth) but I haven’t really worked that part out yet.

But I have a list of over 30 ideas so who knows which particular one will strike my fancy whenever I have free time again.

What are your creative anxieties? And, more importantly for the purposes of this discussion, how do you cope with them?

(Apparently their are questions and challenges and prompts to these now -- which is super awesome -- but this is the first time I’m able to participate so cool.)

So. What are my anxieties? Ha. Everything. Probably. I’m a walking stressball of anxiety, just in general.

As far as writing goes, I’m constantly anxious of “is this a good way to phrase this? is it clear and understandable? does it flow well? is it a trope/cliche or is it unique and different?” I majored in Creative Writing so I am very particular about that, which means I’m the kind of writer that tries to edit as she goes, which impedes progress. Part of the reason this happens is because if I write something “incorrectly,” it might impact events later, particular with regards to a character’s internal logical reasoning. 

To combat this, I try to plan and outline extensively before I begin writing, I daydream a lot. I’m always trying really hard to get into the habit of writing drafts first and editing later. Keyword, trying. It’s difficult. Productivity hours have, in the past, been super helpful for me when I give myself a word count target, because it limits my available time to edit. I haven’t done any of these in awhile but they were helpful when I was doing them.

I’ve written about this before, but I felt kind of guilty writing after my dog died. That honestly just took time to grieve and move forward, coping wise. 

I have a lot of anxieties about posting, of course, because who doesn’t? I usually squeeze in an extra round of copyediting as I’m posting on AO3, then I hit that post button and flee. Close my browser. Do something else, do not look at tumblr or AO3 as much as possible. 

Then I check in and feel really sad. Contemplate quitting the fandom in general. Don’t write for several weeks. 

Eventually my imagination sets in again--when thinking about rebelcaptain and fandom doesn’t just immediately make me sad--and try to remind myself that the reason I write is because there’s a story inside me that needs an outlet, needs to escape my mind and exist somewhere on paper, even if it’s just for me to read and be like, oh yeah. This is fun. And try to remind myself that this fandom is small and shrinking and I don’t generally have the desire to write the fic that are popular/mainstream and writing the stories that compel me is just good practice. That as long as I’m writing something, that’s what matters. The end goal is really to keep me writing, to keep the muscle working, and ultimately find the inspiration to get back to my original works eventually, anyways.

Reading

So, I know I have not been super active in reading and commenting on fics this year. I have been commenting on every fic I have read, so if I haven’t commented, I haven’t read it. I don’t have much time and I squeeze reading in when I can. 

I do have a vague list of fic that I’ve been meaning to read, it’s sort of loose depending on whether I feel I have time for one-shots or chapter fic. I’m making my way through it somewhat sporadically, when I have the time, which, I’m sorry, is unfortunately very limited at the moment.

Commenting/Tumblr Notes

I’m very behind on responding to comments on AO3 -- I don’t particularly even go on AO3 often tbh -- and also I think I have a few tumblr notes from last week to respond to. I wasn’t quite sure how because any kind of social interaction leaves me overthinking what I should say, but I have off tomorrow so I might try to respond to some things tomorrow. Anyways, point is, I see y’all who have interacted with me and I appreciate you reaching out, I’m just being an awkward turtle about what to say in response.

#rebelcaptain icebergs #my writing #wip #fic update

[hazlouquitefinished]

I would love to know why Sony Singapore is so supportive of Louis, but the rest of Sony is actively sabotaging him.

Hey, friend! I let this sit in my inbox for a few days until I had time to research it. Sorry for the wait!

Disclaimer: I wrote a massive fucking essay, as usual, but I think I make some good points. Please hit the “read more” and go down to the TL;DR at the bottom of the post if you’re curious but don’t have time to read the full post! 

So you’re correct, anon - out of all of the Sony offices, Sony Singapore seems to be the most supportive on Twitter. They tweeted this a few days ago, and have tweeted a lot of similar tweets over the last few months:

As you can see, this tweet got quite a bit of engagement - 2K retweets and 1.6K faves. Compare that to Sony Music UK, who tweets about Louis far less regularly. Their tweets get less engagement:

The question you’re asking - “Why Singapore?” - is an interesting one. I’ll try to provide some insight, though I obviously do not live in Singapore. If anyone from Singapore (or Malaysia, Indonesia, or the Philippines) follows me, please, please correct me if I’m wrong about anything!

Premise - I think the Singapore strategy may be partly related to tour. It may mean something as far as a buildup to ticket release, but I can’t be sure. More below the cut!

Tour

I’ll talk in objective terms here about money, and about why Singapore makes sense from a financial point of view. I’m not an economics student, so I shall do the best I can and avoid any glaring mistakes. 

If we go back to 1D days, the OTRA concert in Singapore was highly-anticipated - it was the country’s most tweeted-about event of all time. (x) The show was sold out, and revenue was $3.5 million for 29K seats. Compare that to the $2.4 million revenue from the 51K seats in Cape Town. There are other stats to back this up, just don’t want to clog the post w/ pics. 

So the SG concert earned a lot of money without having to fill many seats. In fact, the revenue earned from the Singapore show was in the top 15-20 out of 80 shows from OTRA despite being a smaller venue. 

With that in mind, Singapore seems to have been a good investment for 1D. It makes sense that they’d want to return there. Niall is performing in Singapore in June. Harry toured there in November, and he added another show in May.

Sorry, I just wanted to include this pic because he’s such an angel. Look at that soft sweet smile! I digress - there’s no revenue reports for how much the first HS @ SG show brought in, but I’d imagine it was successful based on their history. 

Charts

Beyond tour, Singapore - and the nearby countries of Malaysia, Indonesia, and the Philippines - does great in the charts. This is a figure from today’s charts for Back to You:

Back To You is still ranking really high on the Spotify and iTunes charts in these countries, despite being released 8 months ago. Not only does this region of the world get Louis’ music to the top of the charts, they keep it there. 

If we look at the rest of 1D, it’s a similar situation. Niall, Liam, and Zayn are all charting on the Philippines’ Spotify charts with two songs each. Same for Malaysia. Same for Singapore. Indonesia is the same, too - except for Liam, who has 3 songs. Harry isn’t on the single charts, but his album ranks about halfway down the list in the Philippines, Indonesia, and Singapore. 

What’s notable, though, is that in all of these charts, Louis is the highest-charting member of 1D - except for Indonesia, where Zayn charts three places above him.

For comparison - in the US/UK, Harry, Niall, and Zayn are all charting halfway down the list for their singles/album. Liam is charting far higher for For You, and Louis is not on those charts. He does exceptionally well in the Singapore region, though - far better than the other guys.

Disclaimer: Chart positions can change frequently; this information was accurate at the time that I wrote this response. 

Analysis

So Singapore concerts make sense from a financial point of view, but visiting this part of the world on tour also boosts the morale of fans who do a lot to support your music. Not only does a Singaporean concert service fans from Singapore, but it also services fans from Malaysia and Indonesia without having the artist stop in every country - Indonesia, Malaysia, and Singapore are very close together.  

Singapore and the Philippines seem to get tour stops the most because they generally get the highest concert revenue out of all of the countries in the region. It makes the most financial sense to play shows there instead of the other countries.

So why is Sony SG allowed to support Louis?

Part of it might be to continue the “illusion” of promo - help him maintain staying power in places that are not the US or the UK. I think the other part, as I mentioned earlier, relates to tour. Touring draws in the most revenue for an artist. (x) If Louis tours in Singapore, he’ll likely bring in a great deal of revenue.

It makes a lot of sense, then, to maintain a good relationship with Singaporean fans. I know, I know - HQ has never done anything that makes sense. I want to point out, though, that we can’t be sure how tour is going to be handled, or who’s going to handle it - things might be (hopefully) different by the time LTour rolls around. 

The fact that Sony SG is actively maintaining a relationship with SG fans has me hopeful. If sabotage was the goal here, as it is everywhere else, they definitely would not make that effort. It sort of makes me wonder about Epic, and if they have a role in any of this. 

Sony SG & Louis’ Twitter

Sony SG and Louis’ twitter have been building a relationship for quite a while. Prior to the release of MY, Song SG had posted about Louis to a lesser degree. Not infrequently, but far less than they have this year. 

This all started ramping up after Louis’s twitter interacted with Sony SG back in December:

Sony SG’s Louis love has started increasing even more in the new year. They post links to the song and the video, they interact with Louis’ tweets, they engage with big radio stations - they’ve been doing a lot. 

For comparison: other subsidiaries of Sony - Brazil, India, Indonesia - all tweet about Louis, but very sparingly. Probably as much as Sony Music UK does. 

Additionally, Sony SG has been “seeding” (I’m sorry, I hate that word, too) the possibility of LTour in SG for a while. Here are just two instances:

Of course, this could just be to fire fans up and get more views/votes/streams…. but why? Sony never goes to that effort to draw fan engagement. It makes me think that LTour could have some SG dates, and that tour might be handled better when it happens. 

TL;DR

Think about it: 

Sony is doing active long-term outreach in a place that brings in some of the highest revenue during tours. Why else would they focus there if not to build excitement about tour? And why would they spend resources working on SG if they’re only going to sabotage tour once it starts?

Moreover - since Sony UK/US never shows this kind of initiative for Louis, could another subsidiary of Sony be helping out in SG? Epic maybe?? 

Again, this is pure speculation - I have no way of knowing if any of this is true. It makes me hopeful for the future, though, and for the success of LTour. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but Singapore is always a very important piece in the puzzle. 

I’ll be interested to see how Sony SG’s interaction with Louis continues, and if LTour has SG dates. I could very well be completely wrong, this is just my take on things! 

To get out of my objectivity for a moment, I need to acknowledge the fans in these countries - they are absolute powerhouses. Fans in Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore, the Philippines, and the surrounding countries did (and continue to do) a lot with online voting and competitions. The volume of votes and tweets and requests that they all produce together is truly astounding.

It’s great that Louis’ twitter is able to interact with them to some degree because they deserve it, keeping his music relevant in the charts without promotion.

Anyway - hopeful thoughts, friends. Cautious optimism, realistic expectations, but hopeful thoughts. 

#I had a 101 degree fever writing this so i'm sorry if it makes zero sense #asks #ltour

[lordgeales]

One entire year at Tumblr :D

DEAL WITH IT

An entire year at Tumblr running a rp blog for a vampire that we now know.. A tiny bit about. Instead of just a whole lot of nothing. When I think about it, I don’t think that much has changed, but looking back... It has. Back when I started up, I honestly had no idea how the customs of tumblr RPs worked. I didn’t know about rules, formatting posts, icons... Honestly NOTHING at all. I’m still amazed that no one yelled at me. 

I think I caught on pretty quickly tho, four months later, I made this blog. Changing from a sideblog, to a main. And boy, that changed a lot. With that came the new icons(why did I decide to go all out with them... Whhyyy), promos, rules, a design(that is very old holy-), and everything a RP’er should have. At least according to tumblr. 

Although I have to say that I still felt a bit alone being on tumblr. I never really got to speak to people OOC, and the ones I reached out to.. Oboi (((: Let’s forget about that. It gradually became better. In May I met what I’d call my first “tumblr friend”. Who unfortunately isn’t very active RP-wise anymore.

December was wild compared to the rest of my time. Starting with a meme that led to me getting to talk with Lily(@elyon-kurae​), not to mention the dear Vero(@monophagia​) joining in on the RP :D! That has led to yet another chain event, and I’m very much involved in the RP community now. I think I finally understand what it’s all about.

And although I’ve been through a lot, weeks of inactivity, spikes of activity and shitposting, tons of asks, lack of asks.. Hm, well, we’re still here. I still have the pleasure of talking to most of the people I did back in the days, and a lot of new to call friends.

The people I’ve been interacting with through the time under the cut. Read at own risk it’s very... Long.

People listed in the correct order they appeared at my blog c;

@lestkarrkingofeurope: Starting out with a strange RP on a drawing I won(reblogged just before this post~). I have no idea what we were doing, but it was a lot of fun! Also the reason I even stumbled into this community to begin with. Lately I’ve had the pleasure of being... blessed a lot. Save me from my sins, oh holy tsunami.

@forgottenprogenitor: I think you came along with Lest, with your former muse, Akane. I adored that RP, giving me a chance to show some of Urds more gentle sides. Akihiko was the absolute breakthrough though, I adore him. I love our interactions, and look forwards to yet another year!

@tatsu-rose-bathory: YOU CAME WITH A FLOWECROWN! I remember that much :D! It took a few weeks before we eventually interacted, but I was pretty much in love with Tatsu from the start(still very much am). I really enjoy reading about her, not to mention their occasional small talk they do nowadays. It’s so nice having someone around that Urd actually looks at with gentle eyes ;-;

@makotonarumi/@dusksovereign​: Unfortunately no longer active, but just for the sake of people reading it - Holy fUCK?! When you first reached out to me I was soooo confused. Still am. You are/were an amazing writer, and honestly I felt so bad whenever I wrote replies, because.. Ah, I didn’t feel worthy at all. You were extremely nice to me, however, sending me all kinds of anon-love, tagging me in memes... Ahh. Thank you so much. I don’t think you know how much it meant to me. Just. Thank you. And I’m sorry for being such a slob with the replies.

@ferid-trash-bathory/@shusaku: Turns out you’ve been around forever. Through it all. Wow. Sometimes I do wonder just how bad of an impression i left back then *lol*. Ah, I remember us talking every now and then, it’s just lately I’ve come to know you for “real”. I really like your portrayal of “Fred”, not to mention Shusaku.... Who I might have been a bit mean to back then.... *coughs* Aha, but I’ve been sure that you were nice for a very long time. Still very happy that I reached out to you about the Egypt AU. Although Vero was dying in the background. Best meme lord. Also someone I can always trust to help Urd get revenge on Saito. Gotta get back at that ass amirite.

@mrsaitou: “My first real Tumblr friend” ahh. I really miss having you around. We talked a lot about... I don’t even know. But we talked a lot. I can’t even remember if it started in May, where the first meme with you were tagged, or if we started talking later on. I think I have your personal somewhere... Might dig that out sometimes soon to hear what you’re up to.

krultepxs: Deactivated, unfortunately... A Krul I had tons of fun with, planning all kind of strange stuff. Urd keeping Krul a prisoner after her treason in the Kremlin. An AU where they had to marry. Unfortunately we never got to RP, or plan that much due to me going hiatus for a few weeks. 

@lvstforblood​: OKAY WE BONDED OVER A MEME... And then never talked again. Rip. But if you ever feel like rp’ing, you know where to find me. Winks at.

@asurayuucentral​/@perfectasura​: I can’t even remember when you started coming around tbh, but we haven’t interacted that much. Still I feel like you’re kinda my friend, and I love to see your little likes and crack reblogs ;-;! Also I’d love to rp with you some more whenever!

@erisblonde​: Wonder if you’re still around and into the fandom? We’ve theorized a lot about Urd ahh... Unfortunately it kinda died out - probably due to me going inactive. I tend to do that a lot, huh... Just know, that if you feel like talking theories, hit me up. Anytime. Anyday.

@riddlemehiss/@dil-a-to-ry: WOOP! MY FAVORITE CAT! Okay I was kinda skeptic when The Cheshire cat waltzed into my askbox. But surprisingly I really enjoy his interactions with Urd. You play him amazingly, like holy shit. I’ve enjoyed every single second. Also you’re a really nice person, I think I still see you around every now and then, although Cheshire is on Hiatus. But if you ever feel like reviving him... You can count on Urd to be confused by his lack of respect for gravity :P!

@masterofzawarudo: Can I just say that I love everything about Dio. Although Urd doesn’t. In fact he’s probably annoyed by every single fiber of his being. Sorry for not reaching out to you more often, you’re seriously awesome. Although I find it kinda hard to connect on the strength-level, since our muses come from such different verses. BUT AS LONG AS THEY DON’T FIGHT I’M UP FOR ANYTHING. COME FIGHT ME! YA! wait, don’t do that. Fuck. Also I don’t follow you because I don’t watch Jojo, and you post so much stuff about that rip, still love your blog tho

@kruliisms: Hmmm... Here’s where I’m in doubt. I never wrote it down anywhere, but are you perhaps Krultepxs? Ah, I don’t know. What I know for sure, is that we never really got back to RP’ing, and that you’ve gone inactive yet again. But just to let you know, if you ever feel like doing something with Urd - you’re more than welcome to hit me up :)!

@krullish: Hmm... I think we planned something a while back, but never got around to do it? But anyway, if you feel like RPing with the... shitty russian vampire lord, well... Here I am. Still around c;!

@repulsc: EEEYYYYYYY CASCADA AND LATE NIGHT SHIT POSTING! That my jam. Also chain kinks. I did not say that. I don’t think we’ve ever done anything aside from shitposting and endless icon threads of stare-battles. Always up for more. Or smth serious, whatever you feel like. Winks very hard at.

@brassboundvalkyrie: I think I first noticed you for real when you commented on a picture of me(the mun), however I never really got around to talk to you. Unfortunately our muses are not very compatible orz! BUT HEY! Suddenly you were there, yelling to me about Vero, and whelp... I accidentally joined. Whops. You’re a real nice person, and I looove your Horn. Hope she’ll find a Crowley soon. Until then, I’ll suffer in silence with you. Looking forwards to meeting you c;! Just... No straw, and no masks, k?

@wintersoldier-barnes: Wiggles eyebrows Please send me more Urd. Send me all the Urd. I love the Urd. Gimme the Urd. Urd drug buddy. Also yet another sinner of the SaiUrd squad. Feel free to send me (n)Urds at any times, or just anything in general. You’re amazing to talk to, so~! Also you’re a really pretty Urd holy shit

@rk-silverknight: You just fit in here for some strange reason, because Noblesse yass! We’ve never interacted ic, but you’re still a really nice person! I hope we’ll get to talk some more sometimes in the future. Or perhaps break the bundaries between our muses worlds... Who knows. Perhaps they could actually get along.... Or just have a silent starring contest. 

@elyon-kurae: I can’t even... How did we go from relationship meme to... Talking about high and low? You are an adorable person, and.. So sorry for ruining your innocence orz! BUT EYY SAIURD BUDDY~! Also corner buddy, Tumblr sis, and everything really. I like you tons <3

@rigr-stafford: It’s really nice to have you around! I know we haven’t talked much ooc, but just stretching a leggi out and saying EY I LIKE YOU TOO! Looking forwards to our future interactions!

@borntobeafangirlxd: I think it’s really cute how you manage to like my posts all the time. Aaahhh, you probably have no idea how much it means to me! I’m so happy you like my portrayal, 

@monophagia: How the fuck did the tag “Another traitor has joined the game~” END UP IN A THREAD WITH MIKU, A TV BEING IMPALED BY A SPOON, AND MAKEOUT ON THE BLOODY FLOOR?! KJLaslfhalskfd. I cannot. Even. Just... Lol. Also you liking that Saito-rp-partner ask, and actually making a blog for him is probably the best thing that happened in my whole Tumblr history. You almost deserve a whole post by itself, so I’ll just stop before it gets too long lol. I love u bby, and I fucking adore your Saito. Be it angsty human Saito who gets way too dramatic whenever Urd ignores him, the priest who adores his pharaoh way too much, or the canon-vampire with his weird pudding obsession. You’re a joy to write with, and honestly I’m amazed we’re still keeping it up. I’M SO HAPPY YOU REACHED OUT TO ME?! OK SEE U IN LIKE... SOON. Don’t kidnap me for too long when I come to Germany tho. I cannot German. 

@playfulprogenitor: For some reason I can’t tag you? BUT just want to let you know, that you’re free to swing by anytime! It was really fun seeing you join in on the shitposting! 

@lacus-owns-you: We actually interacted through your OC @louischerel long before I even knew that it was you on that Lacus account. HELLO MOMMY! You’re a joy to talk to, and although we rarely RP, I still enjoy haning out with you ooc <3!

@hiiragi-yukine: Aaah you seem so nice! Although we haven’t really spoken outside the RPs, I really enjoy your OC. Also Yukine as faceclaim doesn’t make it any worse noragamiftwamirite.

@ALL THE PEOPLE I PROBABLY FORGOT

Thank you so much for following me! And I’m so sorry if I forgot you, I had to go through a lot of posts, so I probably did orz.

@ALL MY ANONS

I LOVE YOU TONS THANKS FOR ALL THE ASKS THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT

AND THANK YOU FOR LOVING URDS BUTT I know it’s amazing

He secretly loves you too

#ooc #THANK YOU GUYS #FOR AN AMAZING YEAR #HOPE TO HAVE YET ANOTHER #SMOOCHES TO ALL OF YOU #AND SCREAMS AT ALLLLL PEOPLE OUT THERE #I probably forgot like.. Everyone lol #rip me #lestkarrkingofeurope #forgottenprogenitor #tatsu-rose-bathory #makotonarumi #dusksovereign #ferid-trash-bathory #shusaku #mrsaitou #krultepxs. #lcstforblood #asurayuucentral #perfectasura #erisblonde #riddlemehiss #dil-a-to-ry #masterofzawarudo #kruliisms #krullish #repulsc #brassboundvalkyrie #wintersoldier-barnes #rk-silverknight

[svtskneecaps]

Hphm was supposed to be my way of like living out my Harry Potter years but it’s so boring and the storyline is really bland. Honestly there’s a similar HPHM game that jam city only released in China which looks so much better. I think you can actually interact with other people and there’s more free reign. It also takes place from when McGonagall becomes headmistress so it might be a different with professors and what not. I hate having the same convo with the same person (talbott) 3x a day!

“ I want HPHM to work on the storyline, continuity errors and make it more free play friendly. I also hate how repitive dialogue options are and quests never really impact you in the main story, like can’t I brag about my animagus form or the fact that I babysat Draco! It’s honestly like everyone but me was obliviated after the quest ended! Honestly I get Fly Solo is like our inside joke but must mc really say it so often! Plus my animals like never show up. I want to show them off!!! “

“ Honestly I think you probably could write better individual storylines! There’s like literally no continuity in the story. Things just don’t make sense sometimes! Like how am I on andres team for quidditch when I’m supposed to become seeker later! Why do I have to keep switching quidditch positions! Why can’t I have my friends (not just penny) cheer me up for matches like Ron and Harry. I also really want roommates in my dorm like show me their beds too! We should have a roommate hangout option! “

sorry lmao it got kind of long bc i’m a big dumb fool

honestly it’s so frustrating that jam city didn’t think most of their plot points through. like it’s really obvious that they’re writing things as they go. i don’t really mind discovery writing all that much; it’s how i write most of my stuff and it’s how the current story i’m posting is going right now (which is why i’m usually late to update; i have no idea where i’m going aside from a slight vibe)

but i’m writing some bullshit fluffy romancey crack fic for like, 35 people on tumblr, so it works for me. these are people making a HARRY POTTER GAME, so they don’t get that kind of slack

it’s weird that they force you to switch quidditch positions instead of, i don’t know, letting you PICK which position you wanted and giving you questlines related to it (and then maybe, letting you pick another position later if you got bored of it). i honestly was so unenthused with quidditch that i’m not even at the tryouts yet. i only started now because i want to get like, exp or something, for that month long thing like i’m not invested in the questline at all. the additional characters in the quidditch quest just bloat the game even farther and they don’t even develop the characters they already have

and OH MY GOD, EVERY TIME MC BRINGS UP “””FLY SOLO””” MY CHEST SHRIVELS. like it’s not funny, at least not the way they play it, and it drives me crazy. a good author might be able to play that as a flirty inside joke, but apparently the (likely underpaid) writers for this game just don’t bother (i want to give them the benefit of the doubt; i don’t want to call them terrible writers and say they can’t write good dialogue because listen, i’m a fan fiction author i’m not exactly shakespeare and i don’t even know any of their names, i don’t get to throw that stone. idk if they can’t or don’t but either way, it’s just not good writing)

the grinding is just killer. the grinding is KILLER. the grinding is the worst damn part of the whole thing and i hate it so much.

like damn bro maybe once i’ve played the game up to its current point i’ll release a set of general bulleted outlines for how they could play each of the four main storylines for the houses, like plot points and events and such, if i can think of things. like i said, i’m only in year four and if things keep taking this much damn time it might take me a couple months at least to get all the way up to the latest release

i don’t really have the time or the energy or the staying power to write each of them out in full, but bulleted outlines would be manageable so uh

we’ll see? i guess?

anyway it’s probably best to think of the side quests as totally separate from the main canon except OH WAIT, DOESN’T TALBOTT SHOW UP IN THE MAIN CANON?? I’M PRETTY SURE I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT THAT, MAKE UP YOUR MIND, JAM CITY, WHICH FUCKIN PARTS ARE YOU GOING TO HOLD ONTO

anyway shameless self promotion, this pissed me off even all the way back in december when i first started playing, so i started making a rewrite of my own to hopefully keep continuity and make things believable (which is why i was screen recording everything; i wanted to know everything that happened and all the lines of dialogue because there was one segment after the duel where flitwick said something in response to my choice that i loved and i was never able to find what he said, so i started recording the plot moments to look back on later).

but then i stopped, because the tulip continuity error happened and i was left in the same position as jam city, because i hadn’t name dropped her either so i either had to come up with a reason for her to have never appeared prior, or i had to rewrite the beginning chapters

so i was like, oh, i’ll wait on finishing that one until i actually know everything that’s coming so i don’t run into this problem again

anyway, that’s up on ao3 and you can find it here if you’d like to read it. idk how well it holds up for general audiences, since it was mostly just a cathartic fic for while i was waiting the hours and hours for my energy to recharge. the beginning’s a bit sloppy tbh bc it was just a series of semi-connected scenes before i really found my groove, but they’re still sort of fun. in the span of a single scene i think i developed the characters and their interactions more than jam city has in the four years of gameplay i’ve made it through so far, so hey. jam city, hire me.

maybe i’ll even release the rest of the chapters i wrote (because i have more). who knows

sorry i wrote a whole essay anon uhhh i have a lot of words and feelings i guess. that’s my bad. this is honestly my passion though so seeing wasted potential gets my gears turning and i just gotta word vomit sometimes

thank you so much for talking with me about it uwu i love you

[karanguni]

Yuletide Reveals 2017

'Tis that time of the year again! Hello to anyone who's wandering over from AO3 - feel free to drop in and say hi if you want :) No The Culture this year from me ): But an oddball collection of other things nearly out of my wheelhouse, but not quite! This year'll have a bit of a DVD-extra commentary: I'm trying to get back into the swing of journalling, as I do every Yuletide. Writing-wise, I badly wanted to get done in October, and ended up writing down to the wire in December. Pro-tip: if you have family over for the whole of one month, then nothing but travel and work explosions for the next two, and no vacation days left leading up to Christmas and the New Year... You're going to have an interesting time of it. I was saved by going on a writing meetup with another local Yuletider, which forced me to stop being needlessly distracted. Assignment: Machineries of Empire - Meditative Aids For meguri_aite. 11K casefic of Mikodez running around the Academy. I'm usually astonishingly bad at writing length for my main assignment, even when I want to, but this went from "I'll bang out about 5K" to "oh... crap" pretty rapidly. I wanted to stay true to canon without trying to imitate it, all things considered, so I threw pastiche out the window and went for Mikodez barrelling his way to being the youngest Shuos Hexarche. I'm finding, more and more, than matching to single character Yuletide prompts where I go on to write backstory can be terrifying: I'm a decent writer, but these things sometimes have to carry their own weight without much interaction with any other canonical characters and that's a challenge. I'm constantly wondering if it's too navel-gazey, or too tell-not-show, and there's this propensity to rely on the strength of style or prose over actual content. Throw in the fact that my brain melted when trying to render my usual stylistic... stuff and this one was a bit of a gamble. Solid core of canonical support aside, Mikodez doesn't actually talk to anyone else from the canon for most of 9,000 words. ?!?!? Here's where a second pair of eyes is always helpful, and I'm grateful to Sath for making sure I wasn't just tilting at windmills the whole time. Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu - Smoke For pi. 1K, Kikuhiko and magical realism. Rhea has done so many wonderful podfics for me over the years that when I saw them request Rakugo I made a little fist-pump of despair while trapped in one airport or another and avowed to try my best to get something out there. This fandom is a giant snakepit for me because I'm always tempted to go back to Japanese language source materials that I really, really don't need to go to and that I really, really shouldn't use as a crutch. I sat there about 48 hours to the deadline clutching at this tiny volume of rakugo stories, staring at its iteration of shinigami, and had to force myself to shut it and just write. Ironically, I think that was for the better: after a real struggle of a Yuletide, I hit my style stride somewhere in here. (Or at least I hope so.) Vorkosigan Saga - Defensive Tactics For yhlee. 3K, Ges/Aral pre-canon. /waves to yhlee *g* Ges/Aral! A great place to wander in Vorkosigan fandom, because it's where angels fear to tread. But I was determined to treat back, dang it, so HERE YOU GO FOR THE SECOND YEAR RUNNING. I plead jetlag for throwing Ges' canon birth order out of the window, but I was quite beyond trawling the Vorkosigan BB - the important part was that Aral, even in a state of Ultimate Shitasticness, probably wasn't attracted to Ges just because he was a good roll in the hay. I aimed for yhlee's prompt of "high school prom night" and ended up with Aral and Ges dance circles around each other... for years. That's almost the same thing, right? As a belated rec, I highly recommend philomytha's political-intrigue laced drunken Vor beach party of a Ges/Aral fic, A Marvellous Party. Philomytha is a much, much defter hand at Vor politics than I. Tang Dynasty RPF - go out the door For quillori. Li He... in space. One of the many interesting things to come out of coding the tagset app and - at some points - manually massaging six-thousand-and-mumble prompts into JSON submission is that I incidentally laid eyes on fandoms that I never would have thought of searching for. I am far from familiar with Chinese (nevermind Tang) poetry, compared to my usual Japanese schtick; I have about a handful of poets and some broad historiographical understanding of Chinese literary history, partially from a forced education 10 years ago and partially from college. But Quillori's letter had an excellent set of English-language sources for Li He, and my god. I read one and couldn't turn back. Very few poets come across so strongly in translation, but I read the King of Qin Drinks Wine and fell instantly in love. While on vacation. Trapped on top of a mountain range. In another country. But, seriously, look at this:

The king of Qin tours the cosmos on tigerback, his sword's glimmer illuminating the clear, blue heavens. As Xihe whips the sun, glass is chiming; ashes of the old world, burnt asunder, flit about; peace reigns eternal. Drinking wine from a dragon-flask, he invites the god of wine to join him, his gold-set pipa twanging dyang-dyang in the night. The pitter-patter of the rain on Dongting Lake sounds like the blowing of a flute, deep in his wine, the King shouts at the moon, causing it to change direction. Silver clouds piled high, dawn comes to the bejeweled palace; the doorman announces the coming of night. In the flower palace, with its jade phoenixes, a woman's charming voice; a robe made of merfolk's thread and decorated with a crimson pattern, tinged with a faint scent, is worn by a yellow-robed serving girl who dances a dance of wishing for the king's reign to last a thousand years. The candles burn light smoke; the handmaiden's eyes well up with tears of purest water.

I don't know how I went from "who the hell is Li He" to "WHY ARE THERE NO AUDIO RECORDINGS OF THIS; THE SPOKEN RHYME IN THESE POEMS IS SO SUBLIME" to "oh shit" in a matter of hours, but... somehow it ended up with Li He in space talking to the lady on the moon. Okay, brain. Sure. This makes it the second year in a row I've gone and done "what?" research into fandoms written in non-modern East Asian languages which I am certainly not fluent in, then taken said research and thrown it into space. I regret nothing. (I was beyond chuffed to see my recip from last year, for whom I wrote equally-unlikely Tale of Heike space opera, show up during the anon period! Ahhh!) On the non-writing end, I spent a little coding time and a few too many hours of maintenance spinning up the tagset/letters/prompts app, or whatever you want to call it. It started out as a little exercise in wanting to get the comma-separated hell that is the AO3 tagset into something that didn't sear my eyes out, and expanded out into a little bit of everything. I'm glad that people found it useful, and am super fortunate that many generous souls donated a dollar here and there to help with hosting costs when we collectively hammered the thing to death in October/November. comments Comment on DW: http://ift.tt/2EuZseY

#crossposted #dreamwidth