why can’t anyone fix me

Is anyone there?

Can you feel my pain?

I’m drowning.

I hold my breath

Bite my tongue, clench my fist

Try to be your number one.

But it’s never enough for you.

They say the pain isn’t real

All your pain will go away.

But they don’t see my scars

Can someone care?

I’m just a little human.

“It took forever to find you and when I did

the timing just wasn’t right.”

they have all seen me get up but nobody has seen me fall…

Trato de escaparme de lo más recóndito de mi , trato de llegar al instante donde todo se apague o sea brillante.

Trato de huir de todo este enjambre y cerrar por fin este tenebroso debate.

El bien y el mal , lo establecido por lo asumido , el hecho por el deseo , el presente por el futuro, el pasado por el fin , lo correcto y lo inepto . Lo que pienso ante lo que he de decir .

Deep-Catarsis

„Das Blut in meinen Adern gefriert. Die Tränen, die ich weine, brennen wie Feuer auf meiner Haut. Alles um mich herum verstummt. Ich bin taub. Ich spüre - aber viel zu viel und viel zu wenig zugleich.

Eine Repräsentation dessen, was ein Gedanke von Dir mit mir macht.

- Laechelnd

Song is Remember this

By NF

My dear ancestors,

If no one has ever apologized to you, I apologize.

No one has the right to take control, manipulate, nor enslave another person. It makes my mind explode to believe that history consists of such degrating tales.

I hope that you are all at peace in the new realm that you reside in. I thank you for staying strong and continuing the cycle of our bloodline. Without the continuation I would not be here and I am extremely grateful to be on this planet. Every moment that my heart beats I will strive to improve myself, help others, and spread my gifts to the world. I will not waste this opportunity because this indeed is a huge blessing.

I do not know our family traditions nor exactly where I come from. In this lifetime as the person I am now, all I know is that I am African, I am black, and I am African American however that does not tell me a specific tribe nor which part of Africa I am from. Although my fellow brothers and sisters live life easier than you did, it still shows that the evil ones were successful in stripping our identity, culture, and traditions but you know that it is not our fault.

But one thing that cannot be taken away is the spirit. If someone plays African music our bodies flow with the beat and dance like our people did thousands of years ago. Our dialect, words, and gestures are just like you without us having to mirror you. Your blood runs through our veins and that cannot be destroyed.

I do not know where to start nor how to find my way back but because our traditions are ingrained inside of our souls. I will find some of them. Again my dear ancestors, I hope you are well and I will make you proud.