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takemebacktowheniwassane · 3 years

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9!! Part 9!!1!1! >:0

Evan: You actually rank you're friends by their appearance???!

Jared: Calm down, number 2.

Alana: Everyone, synchronize your watches!

Connor: I don't know how to do that.

Evan: I don't have a watch?

Jared: Time is a construct.

Evan: Apparently, we're getting someone new in the group. (Miguel)

Zoe: Did you steal them?

Jared: New or used?

Evan:

Evan: Wonderful responses, both of you...

Zoe, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Connor, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Jared, pulling out a Pokemon card: Jolteon, I choose you.

Evan, trembling: What are we playing

Connor: Can I be frank with you guys?

Jared: Sure, but I don't see how changing your name is gonna help.

Evan: Can I still be Evan?

Zoe: Shh, let Frank speak.

Alana: You know those things will kill you, right?

Jared, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.

Connor, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.

Evan: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Connor: On a scale of "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?

Zoe: In between "It's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, Jared?

Jared: Probably "Road work ahead"

Alana: I speak many languages. But this

Alana: This is not one of them

Evan: How did any of you not hear what I just said??

Connor: I've been zoned out for the past 2 and a half hours

Zoe: I got distracted about halfway through.

Jared: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Zoe: I think we're missing something...

Evan: Teamwork?

Alana: Cohesion?

Connor: A general sense of what we're doing?

Zoe: Yo is Jared sleeping, or dead?

Connor: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.

Evan: Ah, same.

Jared: Okay, first of all fuck you-

Zoe: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Jared: Not if they consent to it.

Connor: Depends on who your stabbing.

Evan: YES?!?!

Alana: Why's Jared so sad??

Zoe: So he took one of those 'Which character are you' tests.

Alana: Go on

Zoe: He got Evan.

*Squad reactions to being told "I love you"*

Alana: Thanks fam!

Connor: Oh no.

Zoe: *Cries* I love you too

Jared: Sounds fake but okay

Evan: *A flustered mess*

Miguel: Can I get a refund?

Evan: Croissants: dropped

Alana: Road: works ahead

Zoe: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Miguel: Shevacado: fre

Jared: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Connor:

Connor, grumpy and tired: I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Alana: Just be yourself!

Connor: Be myself? Alana, I have to one day win Miguel over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Evan: ...Couple weeks.

Zoe: 16 years.

Jared: Jury's still out.

Connor: See, Alana?

Connor: "Be yourself". What kind of garbage advice is that?

Evan, walking into his apartment: Hello people who do not live here.

Jared: Hey.

Alana: Hi! :)

Zoe: Hello.

Evan: Guys, I gave you the key to my apartment for emergencies only.

Connor: It was an emergency

Connor: We ran out of doritos.

Zoe: Hewwo.

Alana: Hihihi!

Evan: Hello, humans.

Connor: Three kinds of people.

Miguel: I want pudding.

Connor: Four kinds of people.

Jared: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?

Connor: Five kinds of people...

Evan: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

*After Good 4 You*

Alana: Nope, absolutely not.

Connor: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Zoe: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Miguel: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Jared: Can't wait to go to you're funeral knowing I could've changed that outcome.

Evan: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be stuck forever in that position, forced to starve to death?

Jared: How should I know?

Zoe: You say, as if we don't use you as a source of information on the occult.

Jared: *Sighs*

Jared: You wouldn't be stuck.

Evan: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Jared: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Evan: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Connor, high as a kite: edible

Evan: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Jared?

Jared: ...No.

Connor: I do.

Evan: I know, Connor.

Connor: I'm sad.

Evan: I know, Connor.

Heidi: So, how was your day?

Evan: We almost got surprise-adopted.

Heidi: What..?

Jared: We almost got kidnapped.

Heidi: Oh, okay.

Heidi: *Slams on breaks* wAIT, WHAT?!

#deh dearevanhansen dehalanabeck dehjaredkleinman dehzoemurphy dehevanhansen dehmiguel dehconnormurphy musical squad goals

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