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#deleting later I just wanna be annoying rn
p-p-panda · 7 months
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Random art vent lol
I get tired of constantly pouring my heart out when asked about my stuff only for it to fall flat. Like why did they even ask me to begin with??? Just to tease me??? 😭 bruh
#this is very different than what I usually post#I don’t really like doing it but tbh this has been bothering me for the past couple of months in different places I’m active in#and it’s starting to become annoying#i listen to everyone’s lore and ocs or whatever the convo is only to end up with like one reply and they die on me. AND IT KEEPS HAPPENING#IN DIFFERENT Group chats#man I’m just so tired of even lore dumping all the time at this point 💀#it seems like when I actually have the motivation to finally open up that’s when I get ignored the most :/#I’m probably being a sensitive baby rn so I might delete this later. only wanted to get it off my chest#i can listen to other people talk for hours then the second I speak it feels like bore everyone 😔#i only have like 1 or 2 people that actually listen to me when it’s my turn but most of the time I’m always listening. which isn’t bad but#man#it hurts and kinda makes me wanna cry lmao#and it makes me just half ass shit at this point when people ask about my ocs/lore since I don’t know if they want a tiny bit of info or#if they’re actually intrigued :/ I just give up now#ok I’m done this is way too long ahaha#vent#it’s not that I constantly want atteion because I don’t and I love listening to other people and sometimes when I ask they don’t talk to me#but will to someone els even when I’m super invested so idk at this point#😞#i admit I have times when I’m shy but it mostly due to not wanting to wast peoples time anymore#ok I will shut to the up#gn#it’s like 1am for me#and I really don’t want people to ask only because of this post. trust me that’s not what I’m trying to do i swear. only getting out feels
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cupajoscafe · 7 months
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all my friends have moved on to baldur's gate 3 and im still stuck so deep in spiderverse hell i feel so lonely LMAO
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shararan · 5 months
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Something I struggle way more with than ships I dislike are ships that I would be at least open to maybe consider if not for the fact that the majority of its shippers so very clearly only pair them together in order to avoid the more common ship they condemn for being ""problematic""
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usoratonkachi · 2 years
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LMFAO
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radellama · 1 year
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Hmmm...
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dude-iloveu · 8 months
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hmm i'll clean up my sporadic rant / vent posts from my blog soon
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oneshotprincess · 1 year
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man all those stories about depressed, tortured artists making great, thought provoking art is gotta be lies because i've been feeling the worst i have in a good while and even the thought of making something with my blorbos is making me feel sick
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jj-one · 1 month
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FIRST TIME’S A CHARM.
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this is smut, do not interact if under 18
pairing: sports au, football jock!boyfriend!han jisung x cheerleader!fem!reader genre/tags: smut, fluff, light angst (if you squint), reader is so in love with jisung it makes everyone sick, reader is a virgin, oral (f receiving), fingering, piv, protected sex, use of pet names (baby, princess, etc.), typical nervousness of first time sex, cherry popping, multiple orgasms, spitting, dirty talk words: 5.1k
**old repost from my deleted blog
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Feelings of melancholy plagued your heart this morning. You miss him. You want to touch him, talk to him, breathe the same air as him. Your boyfriend Han was your world. He hasn’t replied to your usual ‘good morning’ text yet and the waiting game was slowly eating you up. You have to get ready for cheer practice since tomorrow is game day but you were hoping that your boyfriend could walk you to the gymnasium. You dread going to practice sometimes but Han would always find a way to lift your spirits and make your mood instantly better.
“You need to give him some space y/n.. you know he’s busy, we can just walk together it’ll be fine!” Karina attempts to snap you into a reality check.
She was your roommate and also on your cheer team, she’s been one of your closest friends since you transferred to this school a few months ago.
“But he always walks with me! I’ll just wait for him to reply, what if he texts me while we’re walking there and then he-“
“Jesus Christ y/n, you should hear yourself talk the way you go on and on about this boy! Don’t you think you’re a little too obsessed?” Karina retorts, “Let’s get a move on, we don’t need to be late to practice for the third time in a row!”
Grabbing your arm in the process, Karina heads out the door with you to get going. You wanted to whine and complain some more but you decided to let it go since you don’t want to annoy your friend with anymore talk of your boyfriend. You could talk about him all day long, you never get sick of being around him, he’s just always so busy with football and other things that it’s hard to see him sometimes. Since the gym you were practicing at was near the football field, you’d hope to eventually run into him later.
Your boyfriend did ultimately text you back but not until your cheer practice was over. You kept messing up the routine and Mrs. Park, your coach was getting irritated by your lack of coordination.
“Y/n, what’s with you today?! I know you can do way better than this!” She snaps in front of everyone, your whole team was looking at you and the embarrassment fully sunk in.
You didn’t have much to say other than a simple “I’m sorry” and “I’ll try harder”, it was your fault that you let your inner thoughts cloud your ability of performing. You gave yourself a couple minutes to recuperate and stretch to join the team again, you couldn’t let them down since the stunt you had to do needed to be executed perfectly.
After cheer practice you read the texts Han sent you:
‘Heyyy babe, so sorry for the late reply :( I’ve been practicing all morning and didn’t get a chance to check my phone!’
‘I just finished, wanna meet in a bit? I’m with Chan and Changbin rn’
You were now grinning ear to ear from his reply, you’ve been waiting all day to see him. It didn’t take long for you to respond back to him enthusiastically.
‘Yes! Where are you??’
‘Still on the field but at the bleachers, meet me there’
‘Ok, coming now!!’
‘See you in a few ;)’
With almost lightning speed you make a dash for the locker rooms and changed out of your cheer clothes to go find your boyfriend. Karina wanted to tag along since she secretly has a crush on Changbin but doesn’t quite want to admit it just yet. Making your way to the football field, you see some figures in the distance sitting on the bleachers; presuming to be your boyfriend and his two friends. You picked up your pace practically sprinting at this point to go hug your boyfriend who was still in mid-conversation with Chan and Changbin. You didn’t even acknowledge or say hi to either of them, only focusing on the man in front of you now. You’ve been craving to see him all day and finally being able to hug him made the sadness you felt this morning dissipate.
“How’s my pretty princess feeling today?” Han says, still having you wrapped tight in a bear hug. His fingers stroked your hair as he felt you against him, words couldn’t describe how happy you were in this moment.
“I’m okay now that I’m with you!” You exclaim, nuzzling your chin into his broad shoulder.
Everytime he hugged or held you, it felt like the warmest place you could be. Nothing compared to his embrace, it electrified you in so many ways that couldn’t be spoken into words.
“Ugh! Could you guys get a damn room already? I’m sick of seeing you act all lovey dovey, makes me depressed that I’m still single!” Changbin teases the both of you. You know he was only joking but it made you want to be even more of a nuisance.
“Then turn around and look the other way, we’re not going anywhere!” Han fires back, now bringing his face towards you to kiss him. He plants his lips on yours and gives you a soft kiss, delighting you with the taste of his minty flavored chapstick.
“Mmm… that flavor tastes good Hannie, could kiss your lips all day!” You go back in for another kiss, completely forgetting that Chan, Changbin, and Karina were right there watching this whole thing go down.
“Alright, enough!” Chan interrupts you and your boyfriends almost near make-out sesh with a reminder of previous plans. “Are we still going back to my place for movie night? I didn’t buy popcorn and snacks for no reason!”
“Ah shit, I totally forgot about movie night…” Han face palms from the lack of remembrance.
“Can I join?!” You chime in, hoping that Chan will allow you in the group so you can spend more time with Han.
“Could I come too?” Karina asks, sitting next to Chan trying her best not to make eye contact with Changbin.
“Yeah sure, the more the merrier I guess!” He shrugs his shoulders.
You were glad Chan let the both of you come along since you didn’t know him that well, you only talked to him on a few different occasions but each time he seemed pretty chill. He was the football quarterback and was loved by pretty much the entire university, he was practically the leader of the football team and looked after everyone. Your boyfriend was also a very popular guy and was well-liked by all his pupils, he was a really good defense and took his athletic skills seriously. You were so proud of your boyfriend and everything that he’s accomplished so far.
“Alright, let’s get going shall we? My dorms not that far from here, should only be a 10 minute walk!” Chan says while standing up.
Everyone gets up from the bleachers to start heading in the direction of the dorms and Han takes your hand in his.
“You cold babe?” Han asks while walking, he sees you shivering a bit from the sudden cool breeze of the wind.
You were wearing a short sleeve t-shirt which probably wasn’t the best idea but you were rushing this morning. You simply nod your head to his ask, you could feel the goosebumps rising on your delicate skin.
“Don’t worry, here you go darling.” Han quickly takes the letterman varsity jacket off his body to bring onto yours. The jacket weighs you down a bit and it was completely drowning you but you didn’t care.
“You look so adorable in my jacket babe, always look so cute wearing my things.” He compliments you while holding your hand tighter.
You could smell Han’s scent on the fabric, everything about him felt like home to you. You’ve been dating for 4 months now, you transferred to this new university thinking you wouldn’t make any friends at all. As soon as you became a cheerleader Han noticed you straight away, he asked a few of the girls about you but you were new so they didn’t know much. He wanted to get to know you more so he went in to shoot his shot and ended up being successful, now you’re both dating and are essentially the school’s power couple. The most popular jock dating the new pretty cheerleader was the perfect recipe to get everyone around the school talking.
“We’re here guys!” Chan says while coming to a stop in front of the dormitory.
He opens the door to lead the way for you all and Han has his arms wrapped behind you plastering small kisses to your cheek. You giggle as you walk inside to see more people sitting on the couch. It was some more members from the football team who joined for movie night but you and Han weren’t actually planning to watch movies with the rest of them.
“Let’s go somewhere else, yeah?” Han whispers in your ear, his voice sending a chill down your spine.
You agree to his ask and Han tells everyone that you’ll both be back before the movie starts getting good. Chan couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at the fact you both casually go into his room, he adds one last piece of advice, “make sure to use protection guys!”
Han doesn’t comment back at that, only reacting with a chuckle and heading towards the bedroom.
Chan’s room was your typical early twenties, frat-boy style living quarters. Clothes spread all on the floor, a couple posters adorned the walls, and the bed was unmade with a few textbooks on top. It was everything you’d imagine it would be, nothing in the slightest bit romantic.
“Wow, what a lovely choice to make our grand escape!” You said sarcastically, looking around at the tornado of a room it was.
“Hey, mine is way worse and you don’t even complain!” Han retorts, throwing the textbooks off the bed.
“That’s because I clean your room every time I come over!”
You sat on the bed with Han beside you, he snaked his arm over to wrap you into another tight hug. You feel the hardness of his chest against you and the sounds of his heartbeat produced butterflies in your stomach. You’ve been waiting to be alone with your boyfriend all day and now that the time has come you can’t keep your lips off him. You brought your face closer to his and sealed his lips to yours, his short brown locks tickled your forehead in the process.
You’ve been thinking about the next big step in your relationship— sex. Sex was what built the foundation of (most) relationships, it only proved how much you love your partner deeply. You wanted to give Han your everything, you’ve never wanted to do something more in your life. As you slowly break away from the kiss, you make sincere eye contact with your boyfriend, his eyes shown nothing but endearment for you.
“So I’ve been thinking about stuff lately…” you trailed your eyes away for a second, not feeling so confident in yourself anymore.
“Thinking about what?” He asks attentively, his eyes were still glued onto you, you could feel the intensity of his stare.
You had either two options: tell him how you really feel and what you actually want or you can save this for another time. You went with the latter and chose to keep it to yourself.
“Never mind… I’ll tell you later maybe, or another time.”
This doesn’t sit too well with Han. He likes when you’re open with him, honesty has always been a huge thing for him and when you act reclusive towards him he gets worried.
“No babe, just tell me. I promise I won’t judge you— I never do! I just want you to feel comfortable and be able to share anything with me.” His hand rubbed your thigh gently which made you feel more at ease and much calmer.
“I think I’m ready to take the next step with you.”
“Next step?” Han replies with confusion, “You mean as in like getting married? I think we’re a bit too young for that right no-“
“No Ji, I meant like I’m ready to have sex!” You finally admit, the look on his face became utterly priceless.
“Oh— really? What made you decide that?” He wonders curiously.
He knew for a long time that he was ready to have sex with you but just never mentioned it until you gave him the green light. He’s never pressured you into doing anything you didn’t want to do, make-out sessions with him would get super hot and heavy sometimes but that still didn’t stop him from not pushing your boundaries. He knew you were a virgin and that it would take time for you to make a decision as the relationship progresses.
“I just love you so fucking much Ji, I wanna give you my whole body, want you to be my first.” You bring your hand to his, moving it to your breasts for him to feel you.
His hand squeezes your boob gently, causing you to gasp at the light action. He cups his whole hand around it and juggles it in his palm, smiling at your beauty.
“You have the most perfect tits.” Han says in almost a whisper, still admiring your presence.
Both of his hands now playing with your boobs as he massages them through your t-shirt, you couldn’t help but go back and kiss his soft lips. The kiss grew more passionate as time went on, you couldn’t stop kissing those precious lips of his, you wanted your face attached to his 24/7. You got on top of him now, tangling your fingers through his luscious hair whilst your tongues glide against each other. He removed one of his hands from your breast to go grab your ass, squeezing your left cheek firmly.
“Lay on your back princess” Han says, instructing you as you lye back down on the bed. You aren’t sure what he has in mind but it can’t be anything innocent.
“What do you want to do to me?” You ask, pressing your thighs together to feel something.
“I want to make you feel really good…” He continues in a sultry tone, “I’m going to make you feel so amazing baby.”
His mouth goes back onto yours, kissing almost roughly this time. Something was taking over your boyfriend and it was turning you on incredibly. He plastered a few more wet kisses to your chin and neck, leaving trails of his glistening saliva all over you. Not a doubt was going through your mind, just undying love and devotion to your boyfriend.
“I love you so much y/n, you know that?” Han says reassuringly, you know he loves you but hearing it still made your heart flutter every time.
“I love you so much Hannie!” You probably loved him more than yourself at this point.
His hands roamed your half naked body once he rid you of your t-shirt and sports bra. His soft, tender touch was enough to drive you crazy and he’s barely done anything yet. You held your breath as his fingers danced across your skin, your brain was completely fuzzy and only filled with desire. You tugged at the end of his shirt so he could take it off and he obliged, pulling it from the top and lifting it over his head. You get a full clear view of body, that beautiful body of his, you wonder how a man can be shaped so gracefully. He had the most broad shoulders, chiselled abs and muscles, but his waist was so pretty and tiny. It didn’t make sense how one could be built such a way but he was perfect, his physique truly mesmerized you.
You go in to feel his muscles, his biceps were absolutely to die for, every time he flexed you swear you could hear your kitty purring down there. He was just so hot, you needed to taste each and every inch of him.
“Want you so bad…” you trace the lines of body, fully enamored by your gorgeous boyfriend.
“I’m all yours babe.”
Han lazily brung his hand to the waistband of your pants, fumbling with the button to take them off but was struggling a bit.
“Here, let me help you.” You guide him in the right direction and he successfully unbuttons them.
Once your pants are off he slides your underwear down past your knees, his face lights up at the sight beneath him. You were nervous but didn’t want to tell him that incase he stops, feeling a lump in your throat now forming.
“Let me know if you want me to stop at anytime.” You loved that he was always making sure you were 100% okay with everything he did.
You nod and let him continue doing his thing, he captures his lips with yours one more time before a hand creeps up your inner thigh. His fingers lightly brush your folds and you shudder from the sensitivity. He smirks into the kiss as he presses a single digit against it, gathering your slick nicely.
“Your pussy feels so wet, I can’t wait to be inside you darling.” Han says after parting from the kiss.
His finger glides between your wet folds, feeling your warm juices gush onto him. He makes a V shape with his fingers to spread you open now, getting a better look at your heat. He licks his lips at the sight, wanting nothing more than to get a taste of you. He inches his head closer to your core and spits on it, watching the saliva run down as he licks a long, slow stripe to your cunt.
His mouth becomes suctioned to your clit as he runs his tongue all over it, slobbering against you whilst holding your hips in place.
“Fuck! So good, so good, so good…” you couldn’t stop moaning, the pleasure was just hitting you all at once.
Your eyes were about to roll to the back of your head and your legs were shaking from Han’s insane pussy eating skills. You felt your chest cave in from all the intense pleasure and just when you thought it couldn’t get any better than this, you were in for hell of a treat. One of his digits entered you, now fingerfucking you. You elicit another moan for him as his tongue picks up a quicker pace, his tongue flicks your nub viciously. His finger slips in and out slowly and adds another digit to make you gasp louder. The feeling of your boyfriend stretching you out for him was amazing, you felt your release coming by the second.
“I- I feel weird Ji..” you try to explain how you feel right now but you just can’t describe it. It felt as though you had to pee but you know you didn’t actually need to.
“It’s okay princess, it’s normal. Trust me, just let go. I promise you’ll feel so much better after baby.” He stopped what he was doing for a moment to encourage you.
His words made you instantly let go, you whimpered from the feeling of his mouth on your clit again. You rocked your hips forward to grind against him while he ate you out, playing with his hair and slightly pulling it once you felt yourself cumming. Your hips shook rapidly around him, his eye contact never broke off with you and it made you lose your mind. You mumble under your breath, trying your best to contain your orgasm but everything came crashing down violently. Han could taste your sweet essence on his tongue as he lapped up all your juices, not letting any of you go to waste. He kept himself buried between your shaky legs and pulled his fingers out, leaving you with an empty feeling.
“You ready for my cock babe?” He finally lifts his head up from your dripping cunt, his face fully soaked from the action he just performed.
“Yes, need you so bad Ji.. want you to pop my cherry.”
You looked at him with the most seductive eyes, he bit down his lip at what you just said. You know exactly how to make him feel the most special, he was special to you though, this whole moment meant everything to you.
“I’ll be gentle with you princess, I’ll try and make this as painless as possible for you.” He kisses your forehead and captures your lips in his.
He gets up momentarily to go find a condom in one of Chan’s drawers and quickly comes back. He undoes his pants to pull them off along with his boxers, opening the wrapper with his teeth and pulling the condom out to slide it on.
“I don’t usually like condoms,” Han explains “but since this is our first time I don’t want to scare you.”
You giggle at that comment, you don’t know the first thing about sex and all of this is so new to you. You’re just glad you have an experienced boyfriend that can help make this easier for you, it made you feel a lot less awkward.
“I guess I’ll have to get on birth control soon then?” You were willing to do anything for him at this point.
“It’s your body y/n, I’m not going to tell you what to do. You make your own choices.”
It was sweet how even right now he’s only thinking about how you feel, he really does care so much about you. Han repositioned himself to be between your legs again, his cock was now pressed along your folds. He gives you another kiss before asking one last time,
“You ready to do this?”
“Yes! Please hurry, I’m getting impatient!” You whine, wanting to finally feel what it’s like to take dick.
“Okay, okay, I’m just making sure you really want to do this!”
He rubs his cock against you, sliding it up and down to collect more of your wetness. You bite down on your lip, waiting for the real moment to transpire. His hand rests on the end of his cock, guiding it to your entrance, he prods your hole gently. A rush of pain inflicts your body from the feeling of just the tip stretching you, you could only close your eyes at the sensation.
“Let me know if I’m hurting you at all.” Han continues pushing himself in.
The more he inched inside you, the more painful it became. It felt as though your whole body was on fire, everything felt so strange to you. You endured the pain in hopes of it becoming better soon, you didn’t want to worry your boyfriend. You feel the size of his cock growing in you, the constant throbbing was making you dizzy. You held onto him tightly, not wanting to let ever go of him. You clench around him as he attempts to fully fit his entire cock but you wince at only half of him inside you.
“Fuck, you alright baby? Did I hurt you?” He studies you with concern, stopping immediately to gauge your body language.
“You’re so fucking tight, even though you’re soaking wet I can still barely fit my cock inside.”
Your face turns red as a tomato, you don’t know what to say and you’re getting too flustered.
“Awe, is my little princess feeling nervous? I told you it’s okay, I’ll be here with you every step of the way, I got you.”
He holds your hand in his, tentatively caressing the inside of your palm, he brings your hand up to kiss it and gave you a warm smile. He continues sliding more of his cock in and is eventually able to get most of himself settled. Your mouth is wide open once he begins slowly thrusting in you. The pain was starting to go away now, just slightly. You focus on the feeling of his length in you, you try to relax your muscles the best way you could. You feel so full, so stuffed, his cock fully immersed in your sweet cunt.
“You feel so good around me princess, just wanna fuck your tight pussy all night long..” he groans while picking up his pace, the discomfort comes back to you now, you wriggle around to make the burning sensation go away.
“Is it supposed to feel like this Ji?” You croak, trying your best to be good for him.
You know that Han would never judge you but you still felt insecure about your performance in the bedroom.
“It’s only going to hurt for a little bit, just keep thinking about me darling, think only thoughts of me.”
You can feel a knot in your stomach form now, his cock slamming into you deeply was making you see stars. You gnaw at his neck to bite down softly, you couldn’t hold in your emotions anymore. The pain was now fully gone again, the intense pleasure washing over you like a tsunami. You kept your eyes tightly shut to feel all of him, focusing on what he told you when he said to think only thoughts of him.
“Your cock feels good Ji, I love how feel inside me!” You cry out to him, arching your back against the bed.
You’ve never felt anything like this before, it all felt too good to be real. He increases his rhythm as he thrusts into you, fucking into your little virgin cunt harder. Your pussy twitches around his cock, you feel that need to pee like when he was eating you out.
“I- I think I’m gonna… cumming…” you could barely get a coherent sentence out. All you could do was continue digging your nails in his back and moan out his name.
“You gonna cum for me princess? Do it. Want us to cum together for our first time.” Han throws his head back as he keeps fucking you. He was bucking his hips in a sloppier motion now, indicating that he was getting close like you. It only took a few more pumps of his cock to get you to form a large ‘O’ with your mouth, your jaw stayed locked in place. Your walls contract around his thick cock and you gasped for air as you lose your breath.
“Ah, fuck y/n!” Han almost says with a growl, his chest feels heavy as he releases his load into the condom.
He continues thrusting slowly into you while gently massaging your breasts. You let go and feel your second orgasm approach, feeling waves of ecstasy throughout your whole body. You were both heavily panting, staring at each other with nothing but complete passion. Han collapses onto you, his sticky and sweaty body rested on yours. His cock was still buried in your cunt, you didn’t want this moment to ever be over.
“So how would you rate your first time?” Han asks while propping his head up, “on a scale of 1 to 10?”
“I’d say a 100/10, I’ll remember this day forever.”
You snuggle up against him, completely forgetting that you had your first time with Han in Chan’s bedroom.
“Well… maybe it could’ve been better if we did this in our rooms.”
“I agree, but hey there’s always next time!” Han finally pulls out of you and notices tiny droplets of blood on the condom.
“Oh my god babe, I popped your cherry!”
You were shocked that even happened since you didn’t feel anything inside you tearing, guess it was a myth that you could feel your cherry pop. Han looked so stoked by this discovery and you wish you could engrain the look on his face in your brain. You just giggle at his actions and give him another chaste kiss, cuddling with him and forgetting the rest of the world around you.
“I think we should head back out soon, they’re probably thinking what the hell we’ve been doing in here for so long.” Han gets up from the bed to go and put his clothes back on.
“I hope we weren’t too loud!” You say, grabbing your clothes to get changed too.
“If they heard us don’t worry about it, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. They’ll probably congratulate me by how much noise you were making!”
You blush once again by what he said, you can’t believe you just lost your virginity, you don’t feel any different physically but you feel way closer to your boyfriend than ever before. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have such a loving, healthy, and supportive relationship. Han Jisung really was the light of your life.
Coming out of Chan’s room felt the walk of shame. You couldn’t face any of his friends or Karina in the living room, they all instantly turned their heads to face you. Changbin started clapping loudly and everyone else followed suit after, you knew this was going to be embarrassing but this just felt like pure torture.
“Congratulations bro! It was about time you finally both got some!” Han’s friend/teammate Minho shouts.
Your biggest fear came true, everyone heard absolutely everything.
“Did you guys really have to fuck in my bed though? I just washed those sheets last week!” Chan exclaimed, giving him the evil eye.
“Hey, I don’t kiss and tell! Whatever happened in that room stays in that room.” Han brings his hand to his lips to make it look like he sealed them.
All the guys keep teasing him and you couldn’t stop blushing, maybe you should’ve waited to have sex in one of your dorms since Chan will probably never let him live this one down.
“You missed the movie anyway, might as well just leave and go for round 2!” Chan jokes.
“That actually doesn’t seem like a bad idea… thanks. Let’s go y/n!” Han links your arm around his and speed walks out the door.
Now that you were no longer a virgin, it didn’t feel all that odd to you as you thought it would be. It actually felt nice knowing you lost it to someone you love so much, someone you care so deeply out. It may not have been in the most romantic atmosphere which you’ve always pictured losing your virginity in a much better setting. However, you’ll cherish this special day with Han because even if it wasn’t the ideal scenery you had in mind, it was still a reminder that you had such a strong, beautiful connection with your lover.
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earth2miaa · 2 years
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zeltqz · 1 year
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I felt this needed to be sent as an ask. I know it's one of the hardest things to do (writing when your motivation is weighing) but you have to try your best NOT to listen to them (those who keep asking for updates with no consideration of what it's like for the author). Pressure ain't doing nothing but motivating negativity. I know the guilt, I've been there. At the end of the day I gave what I could and the fic ended up being discontinued a month ago. I permanently quit writing because I felt it was so overwhelming and stressful despite being something I absolutely love doing, I just couldn't take knowing people waited for my updates, I was disappointing them and that disappointed me. Talk about depression. Writers depression is very real. So eventually I unpublished my wattpad fics, deleted all my Tumblr fics, and stayed a silent reader, I wrote short poems or small works here and there for my private instagram, just whenever I felt like it. I honestly thought it was permanent. Until a friend of mine started writing which sparked my interest in it again. So I restarted my blog a couple days ago. Gave thought to what it was I wanna write and how I want this blog to be different. Atm I'm barely writing, I started 3 fics last week yet they remain in my drafts untouched with no further progress. But I can honestly say the nonchalance and freedom I have is quite nice, I try to write here and again. Or even if a single sentence or dialogue comes to mind I note it down, that gave life to another sentence and another and another until I put it together and it formed about a decent paragraph.. I'M RAMBLING. I lost track of what I was supposed to say. I don't even know the main point of this story. Forgive me. But seriously, the best advice I can give is to unburden yourself before you drown. Literally. Write what you want when you can, your wips, don't delete them!! I promise you some time later you'll definitely be inspired for them again. And when u do you'll be able to literally write more for it!! I have an idea from 2 yrs ago and it's pretty decent, with some editing it could be even better. So please don't delete them 😭😭 and don't let people push you to update. You can if you can and You can't if you can't!!! I'm here if you need any help 🙏🏻 I noticed that talking about your writing with someone who reciprocates your energy can ignite a full on passionate conversation that will lead to creating quality work!! Like new ideas or even roots to go for old works.. It's a good way to keep the motivation flowing when you're running thin 🤍🤍🤍
this is honestly the sweetest piece of advice soeone ever gave me. its so detailed and relatable too because i used to be a wattpad writer back in 2021 and then ppl kept on asking for update update update and it was so stressful so I just logged out of the account and to this day i havent logged back in 😭😭
as someone who used to be a silent reader i understand the frustration of needing an update. dont get me wrong i understand. i used to feel that exact way because fics were my only source of happiness at one point in my life when everything was shitty. but now im actually writing them, i know why some writers dont want to update so fast because its so much pressure when theres 5-6 ppl in ur inbox asking for update update update
ik how hard it is to finish a story but also how desperate it can get for the readers waiting for said update. which is the reason im constantly trying to keep writing but now i feel like i just cant. im such a perfectionist i dont post anything i dont feel is my best but rn i feel like none of my works are and its making me slack a lot and i feel like if i dont stop feeling this way then i might stop writing as a whole because its making me frustrated
writing genuinely makes me happy bc i feel like its an escape from reality (which i desperately need bc i hate my life) but i cant write good enough which is making me annoyed because i need that reality escape sooooo bad
and the reason i asked yesterday which fics of mine were peoples favourites, most of them were the series that i had deleted from my page because i reread them and hated it so bad. now im rewriting it but with this lack of motivation its one of the hardest things ive had to do in a while
and i barely talk to ppl about my fics because idk i barely recieve comments about them except for PT 2 PLS. like as much as i would LOVE to write part 2 3 4 5 6 7 etc its not motivating enough since i dont have anyone motivating me to write.
ugh this is a lot i dont except anyone to read this but THANKS FOR THE ASK <3
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nanamicide · 3 months
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ur not being annoying at all! gimme some : 🎁 💕 🌻 📗 💭 💡 📚 🤖 💛 💌 🎨 (dont have to do them all, just do the ones you wanna!)
🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?
This needs to be heavily edited but this is from a sukufushi fic I've been veryyyy slowly working on:
Sukuna's heart stops as he catches sight of the person so delicately playing this score. 
It's hardly even been a second since he's laid his eyes on him, but every cell in his body is already starving for more of him. 
Sukuna swallows thickly, carefully taking in the scene unfolding before him. Long, coordinated fingers dance across the piano, hitting the keys with a grace Sukuna would have never imagined to be humanly possible. The pianist’s body moves to the rhythm of the [adjective] tune, dark strands of hair gently swaying across his forehead as [something more movement]. 
Their gazes finally meet, and Sukuna knows he's done for. His heart loudly thumps against his ribcage, threatening to burst through as green eyes further capture him into the moment they're sharing, driving him deeper into the shadows the pianist is painting with the [adjective] sound of his music. Sukuna feels as though he's lost in a sea of darkness, the glint in the pianist’s eyes [something akin to a lighthouse making him feel safe]. He lets the [adjective] chords (of the score? Of the music? Of the piece? Idk) crash against him like tidal waves, making him drift further from the shore.
💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?
That's a difficult one, but probably sweetest blossoms, which I wrote for my friend Asa. I'm usually not into historical AUs but she requested one, and I surprisingly had a lot of fun writing it and look back on the process pretty fondly.
🌻 How often do you read your own fics?
Never tbh (unless proofreading to edit counts). If I read my own fics I would probably end up deleting them out of self doubt so I just let them sit there on ao3 for people to enjoy lmao
📗 Do you want to write something outside of fanfiction? If so, what about?
Not really, unless non-fiction books or articles about my professional field count.
💭 What inspires you and your writing?
It's mostly the media I consume that inspires me, whether it's music or anime/manga I'm watching/reading. Sometimes I'm also inspired by some stuff that happens to me irl or situations I'm in (there's a particular wip I'm working on that comes to mind when I say this, and if you end up reading it and know enough about me you'll probably catch it whenever I post that, lol).
💡How many WIPs do you currently have?
10 that I know for sure I'm not gonna end up scrapping. More if you count the ones that are on the fence, but I don't wanna go there 🤪
📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?
For Barakamon, I recommend ahknee (@misocucumber) always, especially this fic.
Other fics that have really stuck with me are run the red out by saltwreath for inuokko, the proper care of lilacs by teasomnia for sukufushi, anything by ietjesiobhan for haikyuu. And there was this one fake dating kuroken fic that I read a while ago, in which Kuroo and Kenma broke up years ago but never told anyone and get invited to kagehina's wedding and decide to pretend they're still dating for the occasion, but I can't remember the author or title and I don't have time to look for it rn, but that one stuck with me for a long time.
There are so many I'd like to recommend, I should really start coming up with rec lists.
🤖 Are non-fandom friends aware that you write fanfic?
Only my partner and a handful of online friends (i met them in anime circles i guess they could count as fandom friends as well, but they're not into it like that so idk)
💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?
That it doesn't need to be perfect on the first try, and that a draft is just that—a draft. You can always come back to edit it later and improve the things you don't like; that doesn't make you a bad writer or untalented, everyone does that.
💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?
Mutual pining with 2 idiots who think the other would never be into them
🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?
I honestly don't have a preference, if someone were to make fanart of my work I'd be eternally grateful regardless of the fic or scene the artist would pick!
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missmeinyourbones · 2 years
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hi friends! ranting below the cut so a big fat TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of mental health, anxiety, depression, etc! (do not feel ANY pressure to read!!!! just me being annoying, will delete later)
i feel like i haven’t been on here much recently which is very sad and im sorry if my content has been sucking lately :( i am going through a very hard time mentally and feel a lot of my bad tendencies on the brink of relapsing and falling into old habits which is a very scary thing. im having an extremely hard time with myself and my thoughts and transitioning into being a working adult who is expected to function like a normal human. i feel like im regressing and losing a lot of progress which is super disheartening and making me be really mean to myself
i think im just going through a phase where being alive is extremely hard rn, so i just need to remind myself that ive felt this way before and ive gotten through it every single time so this one is no different. but pls don’t worry about me i am safe and being on here really helps distract me & make me happy when it comes to reading works and interacting w you guys. i guess i just wanna apologize for slacking recently
i truly love you guys more than i could ever put into words and the support you give me helps me in ways you’d never know. if anybody actually reads this, i hope you know that you are more loved than you think. you’re a lot stronger than you know and you matter to more people than you realize. i care about your existence and i hope you all take proper care of yourselves. you deserve good things and i am sending you as much love as i can muster
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uwurakax · 2 years
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probs deleting later but i had to spread the word/vent to other fellow hq fans,
AAAAA I MET AN OSAMU AND ATSUMU AT A CON YESTERDAY AND THEY WERE SO FUNNY PLEASEEE
I saw them earlier in the morning but wasn’t cosplaying yachi yet. my feet hurt from the boots i wore so i changed w only one hr left of the con and THEY WERE STILL AROUND!
I found the atsumu walking later and got a pic where hes like “uh kinda sus taking pics w other teams manager 👀 “ had to show him my oikawa phonecase, me likes other teams setters 🤧🤧
and then i asked him abt samu and hes like “oh yeah just playing games wanna go annoy him?” 🤧🤧 so we went while tsumu said he was way better than osamu at LITERALLY EVERYTHING BUT PLAYING VIDEO GAMES EKNDNDJSNDNDND
FOUND THE SAMU AND WHEN HE FINISHED PLAYING SMASH HE WAS SO HAPPY TO C ME AND WE GOT PICS AND AAAA IM SORRY LMAO
The con is being run really shit rn but bless i loved meeting the twins 🤧🤧
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heartbeetz · 3 years
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You really do just have to live with the little scenarios your brain comes up with on its own, huh? Even when they're so goofy and domestic you can hardly stand it? Ok.
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jeanbeaux · 3 years
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lmfao
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lizbotw · 4 years
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*awkwardly starts planning/writing my smau*
#delete later#HAHA awkward is right... i just kept fumbling around with the details unsure of what to do#but then i just kind of started writing rn and playing around with the apps i’m going to use#and just making on the spot decisions? and it’s kind of okay so far haha 🤩#i have two options for how the texts look though? like the formatting difference is very slight but i’m always worried abt the detailsss#i kinda want to ask someone for their opinion but i don’t wanna be annoying#maybe later after i get more of it done#i’m also thinking abt chapter numbers ahdjjxaajja there’s a very specific reason why but i won’t rant abt it rn jandjajjasj#i want to ask opinions abt that too but once again 1.) don’t want to bother people and 2.) i haven’t even gotten that deep into planning#so i’m kind of focusing on the wrong things LMAO#let me just get back to drafting sjdnjaqjjs i’m going to need to cut down some stuff later to condense everything ajdjjaiw#i don’t think i need help with that? but who knows#AHHH I NEED TO FINISH HCS FOR TONIGHT#was doing than but this smau idea kept haunting me 😔#them*#but the smau tho...#kinda excited tho LMAO hint hint it’s smth related to october ;)#did i mention i love horror movies#they make me feel alive 🤩#AJSJSJAJ okay these tags are getting long but it feels good to just rid of all these thoughts i’ve been having#ahhhhh i’m just rly excited??? i think the reason is bc i don’t even know what’s going to happen??? LMAO 🤩🤩🤩#queen of sucking at planning and just winging everything#i like the ~myStERy~ y’know? aha WE’RE ALL GOING ON THIS ROLLERCOASTER TOGETHER#dw i’ll actually finish the entire smau before i start posting it tho bc i know if i write as i go along the plot is going to get#out of hand and i won’t even know what i’m doing anymore 😳 so yeah ahhh#the plot is kinda fun so far 🤩🤩🤩 idk if all of these parts will make it into the final tho bc SPACE#everything i write just ends up very long sigh i always want to fit EVERYTHING in my mind#everything in my mind in the story***#no self control 😔✌️
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