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kookaburra-laugh · 1 year

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I read that in 2022 - GO Edition

hi friends, i come with a list of fic recommendations on this first day of 2023! for me, 2022 brought new friends and new fandom and im eager to share what i’ve read and loved with you all

not all of these were written in 2022, but that’s when i read them

Accept a Little Spin by nieded @nieded

rated E | 100k+ words (ongoing)

It's the 2023 season, and sophomore driver, Ezira Phale, is out to prove he's worthy of his seat at McLaren F1 as the world tests the boundaries of his confidence and his relationship with IndyCar driver, AJ Crowley.

Part 2 of Rainbow Road 🏁🌈

Waking Up Slow by the_moonmoth @themoonmothwrites

rate E | 88k words

After both being exposed to coronavirus, total strangers Crowley and Aziraphale are forced to wait out their isolation together. A tale of soft winter romance by the sea.

close quarters pining, slow and hot and full of feelings

stalwart sun, wily moon by dustnhalos @dustandhalos

rated M | 370k words

Anthony J. Crowley is a world-class art thief with a complicated past who, until now, had been pretty content with going through life as part of a prolific black market art trafficking ring.

That is, until a simple logistical hiccup leads him straight into the path of one Aziraphale Fell, former Head Conservator of the British Museum turned antique repair shop owner.

Little do they both know, the strands of friendship, morality, and deception in their shared circles of the London art world are interwoven in even more complex ways than either of them could have expected...

such rebel blood by curtaincall @fremulon

rated T | 60k words

Anthony Crowley needs a break. Six months after being tried for murder, he’s struggling to find a new publisher for his mystery novels—and to conquer his (apparently unrequited) feelings for Lord Aziraphale Eastgate, the man who saved his life.

Spending a few weeks out in the country working on a murder-mystery game for a rich young American’s twenty-first birthday party seems like an easy choice. But when the simulated death becomes all too real, Crowley finds himself caught up in the investigation—and crossing paths once more with someone he feared he’d never see again...

Part 2 of A Love Story with Detective Interruptions

No Room at the Inn by summerofspock @summerofspock

rated T | 735 words

A tipsy makeout scene for the prompt Bed Sharing.

tender and mild on main

Anatomy 101 by Fyre @amuseoffyre

rated E | 102k words

Two humans are enjoying some alone time. A demon has questions. An angel has answers.

an owners manual of sorts that developed feelings along the way

Mark of the Serpent by NaroMoreau, summerofspock @naromoreau @summerofspock

rated E | 150k words

Prince Aziraphale is about to be crowned King of Angelhaven when he's taken captive by pirates. When he's sold as a pleasure slave to King Crowley, ruler of the nation readying for war with his, he is forced to keep his identity a secret as he tries to find a way home and keep peace. But not everything at King Crowley's court is as it seems and Aziraphale will have to face machinations of a Royal Court that are far more complex than he had thought.

A Captive Prince AU with an omegaverse twist.

Unusual Occurrences at A.Z. Fell and Co.'s by WritesEveryBlueMoon @gwenstacyismyicon

rated T | 1500 words

When the bizzare and amusing habits of Mr A.Z. Fell, bookseller, begin to trend on the internet, those who dwell on various social media sites share their frustrations, confusion, and extraordinarily unusual stories.

An Oddly Mesmerizing Display by ZehWulf @zehwulf

rated E | 29k words

Crowley's a sex-indifferent/favorable asexual omega fresh off suppressants and in the market for someone to help him through what promises to be a trial of a heat. His friend gets him tickets to the Spring Fling Heat Date Auction, where he can win a date with an eligible alpha (or omega). Naturally, a certain alpha with a regrettably memorable stage magic show and intriguing scent catches his eye...

On The Habits Of Vampires And Retired Goths by munchmulch @munchmulch

rated T | 21k words

The thing is about Crowley's new neighbor, the thing is that Crowley is very, very gay.

the best kind of miscommunication. crowley has vampire traits and aziraphale makes some connections. aziraphale has wolfish traits but crowley is blinded by love and willfully ignores them

A Guide to Fame for the Enterprising Demon by asideofourown @asideofourown

rated T | 8k words

[Crowley accidentally gets a bit famous, and the internet figures out he may be a bit immortal]

All The Dreams We Had by ImpishTubist @impishtubist

rated T | 6.5k words

This time will be different, Aziraphale thinks. This time, Crowley will remember.

crowley cant remember falliing in love, no matter how many times he does it

do you know what eternity is? by gazing @choreomanic

rated T | 16k words

I'll pretend to propose, Crowley said.

It'll be fine, Crowley said.

It was, Aziraphale decided, not fine.

tender and mild on main. incredibly soft and silly and cute. so many proposals

Till death do us part (or not) by fractalgeometry @geometricfractal

rated G | 2.5k words

Awkward Tesco reunions: the real curse of immortality

exactly as it says on the tin. hits all the best feels

All That’s Best of Dark and Bright by hope_in_the_dark @hope-inthedark

rated T | 5.5k words

When Crowley drops a bomb on a church, Aziraphale falls in love with him. This should be a secret, but unfortunately, Aziraphale's never been much good at keeping them.

a heartwrencher to be sure, but so sweet and gentle at the same time

Hanging By a Moment by NaroMoreau @naromoreau

rated E | 5.5k words

Sometimes the best thing is to leave. Fresh slate and all that. For Crowley, it seems like the only option, having fallen hopelessly in love with his best friend.

crowley convinces himself that this moment with aziraphale that he's always wanted doesnt mean the same thing to both of them. but he's leaving next week so he's going to make sure this experience will be one to remember

Echo by snae_b

rated E | 52k words

This isn’t your average coffee shop AU.

kinda sorta amnesia/time loop but so much deeper! bamf protective devoted crowley

Amazing by nightbloomingcereus @moondawntreader

rated E | 9k words

Aziraphale thinks he's been hired to perform his magic act at a party. It turns out that there's been a slight misunderstanding and everyone thinks he's there for an entirely different sort of show. Good thing the caterer is there to save the day.

Green Groves by NaroMoreau @naromoreau

rated E | 16.5k words

Aziraphale Fell isn't entirely happy living in his father's house. But when a new friend enters into his life, his whole world will change in an unexpected way.

Paper Thin Walls by angelsnuffbox @angelsnuffbox

rated E | 16.5k

Sure being in love with your best friend when he also happens to live in the flat next door, where you can hear every single one of his conquests through that shared wall, sounds challenging. But being in love with your best friend when he lives next door and you two used to shag? Might just be a tad more difficult, but Aziraphale muddles through somehow.

Be Ye Therefore Merciful by AmberDiceless

rated T | 9.5k words

Crowley does something utterly unexpected, and Aziraphale must face an opponent who cannot be thwarted. Hints of pre-A/C.

bookverse - crowley is injured by a blessed bullet in a warzone and aziraphale uses his full will (and rules lawyering) to keep him safe.

Any Way You Want It by Justkeeptrekkin @justkeeptrekkin

Saving the world is exhausting work. With Heaven and Hell off their backs, it seems as good a time as any for Crowley and Aziraphale to take a proper break. Neither one of them predicts the direction their holiday takes.

a scotland vacation, some realizations, and confessions to match. tender and mild on main.

Small Cock Appreciation Society by cheerios_and_wine @cheeriosandwine

rated E | 6.5k words

Crowley is the founding member. Aziraphale's is the member.

incredibly sweet and hot. crowley and aziraphale fit so well together

Lift Me Up, O Lord by CopperBeech @copperplatebeech

rated E | 37k words

Aziraphale Fell’s maintained a string of weightlifting victories, a strained relationship with his family, and his grandfather’s waistcoat right into his fifties.

Distance runner Anthony Crowley’s spent the last decade watching his racing career recede in the rearview, but it doesn’t stop him running, literally, away from his feelings.

lifter aziraphale, runner crowley, and a bicycle race

Boyfriend Debut by snae_b

rated E | 20k words

It’s fucking on camera. It’s not that complicated.

sex with feelings between porn stars who really hit it off

Pop the Question by tweedfeather @tweedfeather

rated T

Crowley plans to pop the question to Aziraphale at their favourite restaurant. Things don't go as planned.

A short, sweet, and silly fan-comic.

Where We Will Love by TawnyOwl95 @tawnyontumblr

rated E | 17.5k words

Crowley busks in Piccadilly Circus.

Just down the road in Haymarket, Azra Eastgate performs at Her Majesty’s Theatre.

One duet is going to change both their lives.

Trust Me, I'm A Professional by Lurlur @lurlur

rated E | 12k words

After a mishap with a client, Crowley finds himself booking in at his local emergency department. His bitchy angel of a nurse takes good care of him, making Crowley regret that he can't really just leave his number.

Perhaps the universe has other plans for his love life?

Many Ways To Say It by Fledglinger @fledglingdoodles

rated G

"Listen well, dear ones, for there are many ways to tell him 'I Love You'..."

an incredibly sweet comic

Steamed by summerofspock @summerofspock

When Aziraphale's favorite porn star walks into the coffee shop where he works, it completely derails Aziraphale's day.

What happens when the sexy guy you're used to watching fuck people on your computer screen is actually the most awkward man you've ever met?

Heavenly Hands by ZehWulf @zehwulf

rated E | 7.5k words

Even girlbosses need a bit of stress relief between gaslighting and gatekeeping, and Crowley is no exception. Good thing she has a standing appointment with an angel from Higher Calling Relaxation. (A porn trope parody fic.)

A Sharper Sweet by musegnome @musegnome

rated E | 5k words

Nothing smells quite the same any more. He bends over the plates anyway, and breathes in deep. Cinnamon and chocolate, fruit and sugar and butter. The scents would have set his mouth watering, before. He reaches out to touch the raspberry sauce drizzled over the cake, and stares at the drop of deep pink puree mounded on his fingertip.

crowley enjoys some sweets for his vampire partner and they both have a rather enjoyable time. a little angst at the start

Pavlov's Backroom by justheidi @scienceismygirlfriend

rated M | 444 words

"A word with you, angel. In private."

A conversation in the backroom of the bookshop.

Trying it On by snae_b

rated E | 6k words

Anthony Crowley. Stylist to an elite tier of the UK’s hottest stars. And now, apparently, to one dowdy, soft around the middle, recently divorced publishing heir.

Intermezzo by FeralTuxedo @feraltuxedo

rated E | 47k words

Music critic Aziraphale Fell is trying to break into the world of television, when he is signed to make a documentary about former-rockstar-turned-composer Anthony Crowley. It’s been eleven years since Aziraphale’s disastrous review of Crowley’s debut opera nipped his classical music career in the bud. He can only hope that Crowley will get over his admittedly justified grudge to make the TV show a success.

A classical music sex comedy. Yes, really.

Coq au Vin by Ginger_Cat @gingiekittycat

rated E | 13k words

Tonight’s the night. He can feel it in his bones, in his wings, in his demonic soul. It’s going to happen—months of showering the angel with flowers and chocolates and perfect picnic lunches and walks thorough the farmers’ market, romantic row-boat rides on the lake and concerts in the park and dinner at the Ritz and everything in-bloody-between, are all culminating in this one night.

Because Crowley is making Aziraphale dinner, and Crowley is going to kiss him.

When the Sun Goes Down by TawnyOwl95 @tawnyontumblr

rated E | 16k words

Mr Anthony J. Crawleigh, disgraced heir to the Helton Abbey Estate, has been summoned home to attend his sister's engagement party.

It's only four days of shooting, dancing and making nice with nobs. He's survived much, much worse.

If only Mama hadn't arranged for such a handsome young man to undress him every night. Practically asking for trouble, that is.

Everything I've Had by AppleSeeds

rated M | 13k words

After developing a chronic illness that leaves him unable to live alone, Crowley moves back home to London where he reunites with his childhood best friend Aziraphale. Aziraphale helps to take care of Crowley and keeps him company while he's in bed, bringing them closer together and reigniting old feelings.

for the first time by summerofspock @summerofspock

rated E | 3k words

It’s been six months since they’ve seen each other any way besides over FaceTime and Aziraphale is desperate for the sound of Crowley’s voice without the filter of the tinny speakers of his iPhone, for the smell of the crook of his neck, for the way his body fills the space beside him. He knows Crowley will be here soon and yet his heart hardly believes it is real.

Rivers Of Gold by entanglednow @entanglednow

rated E | 7k words

Crowley is commissioned to sculpt an angel for a family chapel, but the more he uncovers from the marble the less willing he is to give it up.

amaretto by goosewriting @goosetooths

rated E | 69k words

Aziraphale, a human, has grown used to being alone.

Everything changes for him when a unique occult relic falls into his hands and loops him into a contract with a mild-mannered (if a bit snarky) demon named Crowley.

#good omens #fic rec #give these authors some love #thanks for helping me through another year #looking forward to the madness that will be season 2 #happy new year

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imsparky2002 · 1 year

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Class of Villainy - Reasons for Attending

The following is a list of reasons for why each villain was caught by the DPD and forced to attend this academy.

Marinette - Stole her mother’s car and drove recklessly across the streets of Paris, trying to catch a truck full of 101 Dalmatians.

Adrien - Nathalie called the DPD over fears that Adrien had been brainwashing her boss Gabriel.

Alya - Turned her little sisters into llamas when she caught them messing with her potions.

Nino - Attempted to scam an undercover DPD agent into joining his “film crew”.

Nathaniel - Decapitated the head of someone for breaking a “Wonderland Rule” except for the fact that he was outside of Wonderland when doing so.

Marc - Sent a huntsman to kill a girl deemed “fairer” than him. Also tried to poison the girl with a apple.

Max - Orchestrated the attack of a killer robot, in order for him to “save the day”. While murdering multiple innocent civilians in the process.

Kim - Shot a so-called “beast” in the head with his rifle. Didn’t care when informed that the beast was actually a prince who had been turned into a monster by an enchantress.

Alix - Ate a small child who had wandered into the jungle.

Juleka - Had previously tormented her middle school classmates with spells. After her classmates didn’t invite her to a party out of fear, she used a spell to turn into a giant dragon, and burned her classmates to a crisp. Luka was sent with her as an accomplice.

Rose - Had previously insulted, attacked, and cheated against other racers when she was Pigella. After finding out her game was being shut down, she tampered with the code and escaped into another game, making sure that the hack killed the other racers.

Ivan - Scared innocent people, which is illegal and forbidden by boogeyman culture. Murdered and ate his parents. Kidnapped Santa Claus and terrified him, before turning him into stew.

Mylene - Stole the voice of King Triton. Caused the kingdom to declare war on the landdwellers for her own amusement.

Sabrina - Kidnapped a child and a group of mouse all in search for a legendary diamond.

Chloe - Laundered money from her father, hired an assassin to kill him, who refused, turning out to be an undercover agent.

Kagami - Discovered to have plans to invade China, overthrowing her mother and becoming the leader of the huns.

Aurore - Turning random people into animals, and harming civilians with dark magic.

Mireille - Led an army of Titans to attack Olympus.

Zoe - Allegations of a plan to murder each of her parents and siblings, in order to get the throne.

Jean - Ate his grandmother and tried to rob the palace of Triton.

Cosette - Allegations of funding a drug to infect predator-hybrids and have them attack prey-hybrids.

Denise - Kicked out by their family for using dark magic and hoodoo to scam and harm others.

Simon - Killed a hunchbacked man for being “an unholy demon who needed to be sent to Hell”.

Ismael - Murdered the new ruler of the Outlands.

Reshma - Led a raid on the country of Neverland while Captain Anarka recovered from an illness and without her permission.

Lacey - Confirmed to be “The Grey Killer”, murdering civilians who happened to be elderly.

So what do you think? Make sure to reblog, reply, and ask if you have any thoughts. @artzychic27 and @msweebyness

#class of villainy #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #disney #disneyau

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evanthenerd83 · 6 months

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Holly & The Demon Confess Their Sins

Father O’Rille heard the knocking on the door.

His eyes glanced at his wristwatch. Three thirty-three.

The witching hour. Concern filled his old locked heart. Possibilities presented themselves.

A desperate soul looking for absolution? An early morning confession? Maybe one of the community’s many troubled teens, pressured by peers and the modern world, simply wanted to talk.

Whoever it was, they needed help.

And there was no way Ronald O’Rille would turn his back on those in need.

He removed his reading glasses, tucking them into their case. Then that case was slipped into a pocket.

Another knock-knock-knock. Louder this time. More desperate, it seemed.

The concern deepened.

He next slipped the soft tassel between Matthew 5:21 and 5:22. The King James Bible was gently placed on a pew. It joined a haphazardly forgotten sermon book.

O’Rille made his way towards the big wooden doors. They’d been aged by thunderstorms, snowstorms, the elements, wannabe artists with spray paint, among other incorrigibles.

Souls trapped between Heaven and Hell. Those who abandoned prayer and silent reflection for eating Dy-pods and filming themselves drunk driving. Kids who’d never experienced the harsh love of a nun’s ruler.

Something flashed through his mind. An image of a grim-faced woman swinging a fifty-inch ruler.

O’Rille shuddered. He remembered his time at Saint Fyrenne Catholic School.

He never wanted to remember.

Shaking away repressed trauma, O’Rille forgave the past. There were more important things to dwell on.

Speaking of which…

Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!

The knocking rang out. It seemed like thunder, or some Nephilem was stomping towards the church.

Dust and wood shavings danced lightly from the rafters.

O’Rille frowned. He spent hours watching Anne work up high. She’d swipe and wipe with a damp washcloth, balancing on a rickety old ladder.

She should’ve gotten all of it.

But the knocking revealed otherwise. Truely, Mother Superior had been right: The faithful needed to be vigilant.

Evil stood on every street corner. Or waited in the shadows.

Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!

“Coming!”

O’Rille felt his heart go thu-thu-thump. The concern was now long gone. It’d been replaced by fear.

Fear for the sake of the poor soul no doubt knocking on his front door.

It must have been serious. Gravely serious. Maybe someone needed an exorcism performed.

He hadn’t undertaken Exorcism 101 at Saint Fyrenne Catholic School. Nor did he choose the necessary electives during his seminary years.

Too many prayer parties to attend.

But he did know Archangel Michael’s Blessing.

That verse’d been chiseled into his head. Mother Superior forced all her students to learn it, repeat it, over and over again. Before breakfast. Before dinner.

In their sleep.

He shuddered again.

Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!

This time, the whole building shook. Dust coated the floor like snow. O’Rille quickly glanced back at the sermon room, where the large cross wobbled.

Right above the rows and rows of lit candles.

In the middle of an old church constructed with such trustworthy materials as wood.

He quickened his pace.

“Goodness,” he whispered.

Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!

“What,” he gripped the handle.

Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!

He pushed hard. “Is”

One of the doors creaked open.

“Wron—”

And the pistol clicked.

…

Holly’s aim was steady.

Cool. Collected.

The barrel didn’t shake an inch. If fired, it was obvious what part of the pastor’s anatomy would get shredded. All three of them knew that.

She glanced towards her companion. “See Dem? Told you someone was in.”

The pastor blinked.

“Well,” the demon said. “There was always a chance. Wasn’t there?”

It didn’t bother with Its human disguise. No reason too.

It held a paper bag in each arm. They were close to bursting.

Holly rolled her eyes. Then focused them back on the pastor. A soft smile stretched dry, cracked lips.

“I’m sorry for bothering you, sir. But we need your help with something.”

The pastor blinked again.

His mouth fell open wide. Nearly nicked the floor. Fear grew thicker and thicker with every heartbeat.

The demon looked down at Its shoe, the lace untied.

It leaned too far. A can of bean-dip toppled from the precarious tower of food stuff.

Rolling. Rolling. Rolling away.

“Ah,” It yelped. “No. Not again!”

The pastor watched as It reached out a hand… No, a claw. It had no hands.

Only claws. With five reptilian, sharper than sharp nails. Nails It no doubt would no doubt dig into his feeble mortal flesh.

Would no doubt run across his throat. His wrists. Severing the blue lines just barely sheltered by the skin. Releasing a torrent of crimson upon holy ground.

“Um,” Holly waved a hand. “Hello?”

It’d bleed him dry. Oh yes, it would.

A demon would love to torture a man of God. Inflict pain and agony on a servant of Its greatest enemy, the savior of mankind. It would go slow. Enjoying the way his screams would echo within the church.

“Hello,” Holly snapped her fingers. “Earth to priest. Earth to priest.”

It’d rip him apart. Because that’s what demons do.

oh, yes, slithered an awful voice, we do

Fear solidified as if concrete.

we rip you apart fingertip from fingertip toenail to toenail we will go up up up godman up from fingertips and toenails to fingers and toes and then knuckles then hands and feet we will wretch your arms and legs from their sockets

He felt his crotch go wet. Something streamed down his leg, pooling into his shoes.

His heart jack-hammered against his ribs. Lungs turned to ice. The fear snarled behind him, fangs bared; hungry.

Like a beast. A wolf.

we will rip your guts out and tie them around your neck that tree out back seems tall enough close enough to your box your empty box maybe you will still be alive by the time we do maybe we will leave you in your precious little box and anne will find you find you all in pieces tiny little pieces maybe we will make you like a jigsaw puzzle oh we just love jigsaw puzzles Something cold.

Something cold and steel.

“Snap out of it,” Holly hissed.

That finally did it. The pastor blinked once, twice, thrice. The red haze covering his pupils dissipated.

He slowly looked over at her.

The girl. The sixteen-year-old in a blood-stained Catholic school uniform. Blond hair curling upward. Green eyes bright.

Bright with the hunger.

Wolf eyes.

He jolted.

“Wh-what do you want, my… child?”

She held up a finger.

She dug around inside her pocket.

She brought it out lickety-split.

And smiled her wolf-smile.

“Can you bless this?”

A condom.

Still in the wrapper.

The pastor blushed. He quickly looked away, choosing to focus on something else. Anything else.

Not because he was embarrassed by it.

No. He had no reason to be embarrassed.

Because the condom was his.

“Wh-where did you—”

“At a motel.”

“A-a motel?”

“Yep.”

“Which one?”

“The, uh, the,” Holly rubbed her temple with the barrel of the pistol. “What the #$@&, the… I’m gonna say… the one with that god-awful name…”

The pastor began to sweat.

Oh please, he thought. Please god, no, no, no.

Holly snapped her fingers. “... Ah, the Ja-Jat-Jake—”

The Ja-Ka Motel.

“... The Ja-Ka Motel! The Ja-Ka Motel! You know, the one in, uhhhhhh…”

The pastor hoped against it. Prayed that he was just mistaken. That the condom this girl was holding, that she wanted him to bless, wasn’t…

… Couldn’t have been…

… Shouldn’t have been…

“...”

“... Oregon?”

“...”

“Near that one mall,” Holly turned around as the demon approached. “Dem, you remember that mall?”

It held the bags tighter than before.

An eyebrow cocked. “Which one?”

She stared at It. “You know. The one that burned down?”

“Which one?”

“You know, Dem.”

It tilted Its head. “Ummmm…”

Holly lowered the pistol, then took a step towards It. A faint heat bloomed in her cheeks.

“You know…”

The demon’s eyes shot up. It thought a good long while. Almost for a full minute.

Before…

“Nope. I don’t know. Sorry.”

“Oh. #$@& you.”

“Oh. That one!”

Holly glared hard. “Seriously. #$@& you.”

The pastor watched this exchange with a passive, cool detachment. Like a bystander during an absurd comedy act.

Or an inmate on death row.

He knew he needed to do something.

Obviously the girl was innocent.

The demon was ultimately responsible. It had no doubt tricked the poor girl into becoming Its slave, induced such foul language.

She must have killed someone.

A lot of someones, considering the amount of blood-stains. Maybe millions.

His eyes focused on the condom.

He took a deep breath.

“Why would you think I’d remember? It’s been so long since then!”

“Well, EX-CUUUSEE me for caring! Dickhead.”

“You? Caring? Please all you care about, missy, is taking a literal bloodbath!”

“Are you #$@&ing kink-shaming me, you #$@&ing clit-muncher?”

He weighed his options.

Expose his past sins, and maybe further sully the already deathbed reputation of the Catholic church.

Or bless this condom, allow the forces of Hell to further drag the poor girl’s soul to hell, but salvage his own reputation in the process.

“I just want to have fun, Dem! THAT’S ALL I WANT! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LET ME HAVE—”

“BECAUSE YOUR KIND OF FUN IS KILLING PEOPLE, HOLLY! YOU KILL PEOPLE!”

He cleared his throat.

Both of them stopped screaming.

They turned towards the pastor, who had his hands clasped behind his back.

“Please, child,” he stepped aside. “Come inside.”

…

“I’ll be staying outside.”

Holly looked at the demon.

“Why?”

It pointed up. She followed Its finger towards the topmost spire, and the large cross painted pure white.

“Oh. Right.”

She shrugged. Her hair bounced with the motion.

She walked through the front door of the church. “Just hide in the bushes, or something.”

…

Holly whistled.

O’Rille briefly felt a bit of pride. But quickly squashed that down.

Pride was a sin, after all.

He still had to admit, though. She was a thing of awe. ‘She’ meaning the church.

Unlike other pastors and priests, O’Rille didn’t hold such perverted desires. Only thing which brought a slight tent to his robes was a good, ol’ leatherbound Holy Bible.

The church was old. It’d been built during the early 1800s by a husband and wife pair.

A kindly couple whose trek down the infamous Mooney Trail revived not just their marriage, but also their faith.

Many once flocked to its halls for salvation, guidance, and forgiveness.

Things all out of stock at all the other churches currently popping up all over the place.

No-one visited this church. Per the national statistic, attendance dropped from 300 a Sunday to 0 a year.

Oh well, thought O’Rille. More heaven for me.

“Wow.”

Holly took it in.

The pews with cracks slowly reaching upwards.

The floor scuffed by decades of shoes shuffling about.

She found it impressive. How, in all its years of existence, no-one had thought to gently, ever so gently, knock over those candles. One small nudge.

And there’d be a fire. A grand ol’ fire.

One that witches once danced around. Nude. Laughing. Maybe slaughtering a lamb or virgin for their wicked patrons.

God, Holly thought. I wish I was alive back then.

O’Rille cleared his throat.

Her attention snapped back. One hand tightened around the pistol. Grooved ridges against flesh.

The other hand instantly fell away. It’d barely reached the hemline of her skirt.

A look crossed over his face. One Holly recognized well. The demon usually had the exact same expression.

Disgust. Concern.

Barely concealed… fear?

Of course.

Of course he’d be afraid of her. She’d pointed a gun at his head.

And why shouldn’t he be? There was still a possibility she would kill him afterwards, right? It wasn’t everyday Holly Slaughter would spare someone.

Unless she was tired.

She unconsciously slowed down.

O’Rille stepped around the lectern, hands slapping down on its flat surface. Candlelight flickered behind him. His shadow grew large.

He reached out expectantly.

“Well, come on. Let’s get this thing over with.”

Holly blinked.

O’Rille tilted his head. A friendly smile flashed.

The smile of a shepherd helping a stray lamb.

How sweet. She rolled her eyes. Next he would be asking her to recite the Lord’s Prayer several dozen times.

Maybe throw in a couple hundred Hail Marys for good measure.

Anything to save her soul.

The smile widened.

“Well?”

Holly blinked again.

Then approached the lectern.

Why not? Pastors were always trying to save souls, even those who didn’t want to be.

Goths knew this better than anyone. Holly wasn’t an atheist; she believed in God and angels and all that crap.

She knew an actual demon. That proved the supernatural existed.

She stretched out her own hand, ready to drop the condom.

O’Rille grabbed her wrist, fingers closing. Quicker than she could realize. The condom fell to the lectern.

“What the #$@& are you—”

He pulled her.

Her stomach hit the edge, and pain briefly sang; an opera of agony. Thoughts went dumb.

She tried to raise the pistol.

Wrath flashed its fangs. Fear hissed, ears flat against its skull; ready for war. One twitch of a finger.

And everything would be over.

Over.

But he moved quicker still.

A hand was thrust against the barrel, sending it up. Off target.

Out of her hands. It toppled to the floor. It laid dead.

She opened her mouth, not to scream, but to curse.

That hand smothered those words.

O’Rille was now leaning over, close, danger close. Goosebumps flared down her spine.

Wrath and Fear pounced—

“How long?”

He whispered.

“How long has that… that thing been…”

… And were pulled back. Confusion tugged roughly on their leashes, leashes that hadn’t been there before. It wagged a finger; tisk-tisk.

Holly stared at him.

Anger simmered. She released.

“... I know, you know, that thing isn’t your friend, right? I know it’s been leading you astray from God’s light, telling you to do such awful things.”

He glanced mournfully at her uniform.

The sleeves stained by blood. Some of it had long since dried, turned brown. The majority was still red, wet, and dripping.

In their struggle, specks were flicked.

A little droplet pockmarked his collar.

Holly’s eyebrow curled.

“You know I’m right.”

Holly stared daggers.

“You know,” he tightened his grip. “I’m right.”

They were deflected by a pure heart. A kind heart. Not quite spotless, yet ultimately well-meaning.

Holly didn’t care about good intentions.

All she cared about was survival.

And while it was annoying, and would whine about spilled blood, she’d managed to survive with It. The demon.

Dem.

“I-I can help you! I might not be a sanctioned exorcist, but I-I still know the Prayer! And there are some chains in the basement! Just say the word and…”

This pastor hadn’t burned down that mall.

He hadn’t set the trap for those pig-#$@&ers at the motel.

He hadn’t helped her.

Helped her.

Help, she thought.

“... And I can get rid of it! Okay? You understand… Right?!”

Dem. Help.

He smiled even wider. Far too wide.

She glanced at the big wooden doors.

…

Crunch.

Crumbs fell from permanently chapped lips. They scattered across a lap.

The demon kept chewing. It glanced down.

Subtle movement. It peered closer at the ground. Fire ants were marching, dangerously close to Its hoofs.

Innumerable. This legion had been coaxed out by Its presence, like other hateful creatures of the Earth. Snakes emerged from beneath rocks. Hornets swarmed the closest priest.

Fetuses went all Brocky on their mothers.

Merely stepping on solid ground seemed to trigger an alarm present in all living things. Danger! Danger! Demon! Demon!

It swept away the crumbs, casting them down, like Its own personal Lucifers.

Then shoved a hand back into the can of potato chips.

…

Glanced back.

Oh, she rolled her eyes. #$@& it.

She suddenly, violently shook her head. Like a dog tearing into a chew toy.

“H-hey,” the pastor struggled to hold on. “Wait a minute, just—”

She wouldn’t wait a minute.

His hand fell away. A mouth opened, and fresh air filled aching lungs.

She bent over, coughed.

“Jesus #$@&ing Christ on a Stick,” she backed away. “The #$@& are you talking about?!”

The smile vanished.

O’Rille blinked.

“I’m… What?”

Holly felt her feet bump into something. She looked down and, upon seeing a familiar black sheen, smiled to herself.

She grabbed the pistol.

O’Rille raised both hands. “Wait! Wait! Wait!”

“Wait for what,” Holly gritted her teeth. “For you to hurt him?”

“Hurt him?”

“Yes,” Holly aimed the pistol. Her aim was steady, nice and cool. Collected.

They both knew, if it fired, what part of his anatomy would be blown right off.

O’Rille covered his groin. He looked at her with wide, unblinking eyes. As if he couldn’t believe it.

The insinuation.

“Y-you call it a… a him?”

“What of it?”

O’Rille shook his head. He remained on the opposite side of the lectern.

“You… You…”

His head dropped.

“You were just… Talking to it. Just… Like you’re friends. A-and you called it… You called it… ‘Dem.’ You called it… You gave it a nickname…”

The tremors started, then rolled all over.

Holly saw the chance. At the same time, Wrath saw the wheel, left unoccupied. They both took it.

She backed away from him.

Slowly at first. Then fast. Her hair stopped being curly and turned straight as an arrow.

He wasn’t worth it. His blood wouldn’t be worth the hassle of extending energy.

Plus… He was nutso. Out of his mind. Delusional. How did he not understand what kind of relationship the demon and her had?

What kind of relationship…

“... You still carried around that condom… F-for months… Months and months… Which means…”

She was close.

The doors were right there, coming up ahead. Just a few more strides and then…

She could barely hear his muttering. His voice had gone low, dry. Cracking.

… One more step, and…

“... Which m-means…”

… She grabbed the handle.

She pushed—

“... You love him.”

… Freeze.

Full stop.

Muscle paralysis.

“Holly,” O’Rille croaked.

His voice was like death. Old and broken.

Weak from disbelief. A smidge of disgust. A dollop of horrid, overly judgemental hatred.

Holly twitched.

“Holly,” O’Rille croaked, louder this time.

Holly slowly, ever so slowly turned around, eyes wide, bright, full of something far worse than any sociopathic apathy.

“Do you,” O’Rille gagged.

An element far worse than any hemophiliac fetish.

“Do you… Love it?”

Boom.

Supernova.

Cataclysm.

World-shaking. Mind breaking. Unmorring not everything, but pretty damn close to everything.

Holly stared.

Her eyes shone with pure, unadulterated, horrifying panic.

Minutes passed.

An hour.

The demon dug around, reaching for yet another bag of chips. It could sense it. Flavor danced upon Its tongue.

Sour cream and cheddar. Drool sizzled against Its chin.

A creaking sound. Then a heavy thump. So loud it made the demon jump.

It stared at Holly as she calmly walked away from the church.

“Uh,” It blinked. “Holly?”

She didn’t respond. Simply passed It by, choosing a random direction.

It looked around. Opened bags and wrappers littered the ground, strewn about. Hell of a mess.

A hell of a mess.

#evanthenerd83's storytime #holly and the demon #black comedy #crime drama #urban fantasy #comedy horror #short story #creative writing #original writing #October 2023 #satire

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branzycrafted · 2 years

Text

CERTIFIED CLOWNPIERCE FICTIVE PLAYLIST(TM)!!

Aka @clownpierced's playlist :D Cause mine was before this one and I did both of ours fhfjjs

Again!! Not all the songs are on Spotify and some might be specific versions so that's why there's also the YouTube one with all of the proper songs

(And yeah we have like most of these songs in common but y'know)

[Spotify playlist]

[YouTube playlist]

Tracklist:

1. Dr. Sunshine Is Dead (Will Wood)

2. Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D. (Will Wood)

3. BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA (Will Wood)

4. Ruler Of Everything (Tally Hall)

5. & (Tally Hall)

6. Turn Off The Lights (P!ATD)

7. A Gorey Demise (Creature Feature)

8. ENTER: A BEGINNER'S GUIDE TO FAKING YOUR DEATH (Jhariah)

9. DEBT COLLECTOR (Jhariah)

10. Whose Eye Is It Anyway??? (Jhariah)

11. BAD LUCK! (Jhariah)

12. Flight Of The Crows (Jhariah)

13. Punk Tactics (Joey Valence & Brae)

14. Bad Romance (Halestorm)

15. Bitches (MSI)

16. Blame (Bastille)

17. Blood // Water (grandson)

18. Left Behind (DAGames)

19. Break My Mind (DAGames)

20. Just Gold (Caleb Hyles)

21. I Got No Time (CG5)

22. Control (Social Repose cover/mashup ver.)

23. Darkside (Neoni)

24. Brittle Bones Nicky (Rare Americans)

25. DESTROYA (MCR)

26. Everybody Likes You (Lemon Demon)

27. My Ordinary Life (The Living Tombstone)

28. Everybody Loves Me (OneRepublic)

29. Are You Satisfied? (MARINA)

30. brutal (Olivia Rodrigo)

31. Ballad Of The Lonely Hearts (BVB)

32. Achilles Come Down (Gang Of Youths)

33. Dysphoric (Cavetown)

34. Goodbye (Bo Burnham)

35. Body (Mother Mother)

36. Freak Show (SIO)

37. Gasoline (Halsey)

38. Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart (Mitski)

39. Sweet Hibiscus Tea (Penelope Scott)

40. Little Lion Man (Mumford & Sons)

41. No Children (The Mountain Goats)

42. Mr. Brightside (The Killers)

43. My Alcoholic Friends (The Dresdin Dolls)

44. New Americana (Halsey)

45. Nobody's Hero (BVB)

46. Told Ya So (Get Scared)

47. Sarcasm (Get Scared)

48. Hail To The King (Avenged Sevenfold)

49. Requiem (Avenged Sevenfold)

50. Hokus Pokus (ICP)

51. My Axe (ICP)

52. Spy? (WHOKILLEDXIX)

53. I Can't Decide (The Scissor Sisters)

54. Killer (The Ready Set)

55. Fighter (Jack Stauber)

56. Teen Idle (MARINA)

57. Enemy (Imagine Dragons)

58. Honey I'm Home (Ghost and Pals)

59. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (Daft Punk)

60. The Horror And The Wild (The Amazing Devil)

61. Farewell Wanderlust (The Amazing Devil)

62. Liar Liar (Burn In Hell) (The Used)

63. Prisoner (James Arthur)

64. Renegades (X Ambassadors)

65. Resurrect The Sun (BVB)

66. Revived (Derivakat)

67. Casino Royale (Derivakat)

68. Scotty Doesn't Know (Lustra)

69. Bitchboy (The Oozes)

70. Fuck Away The Pain (Divide The Day)

71. Royals (Lorde)

72. Dear Diary, (BMTH)

73. Parasite Eve (BMTH)

74. Crucify Me (BMTH)

75. Alligator Blood (BMTH)

76. The Fox And The Wolf (BMTH)

77. sugar honey ice & tea (BMTH)

78. Welcome To The Black Parade (MCR)

79. Centuries (FOB)

80. Uma Thurman (FOB)

81. w.a.m.s. (FOB)

82. 20 Dollar Nosebleed (FOB)

83. West Coast Smoker (FOB)

84. Build God, Then We'll Talk (P!ATD)

85. Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time (P!ATD)

86. Emperor's New Clothes (P!ATD)

87. Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (P!ATD)

88. There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet (P!ATD)

89. Victorious (P!ATD)

90. Bleed Magic (IDKHOW)

91. Absinthe (IDKHOW)

92. We Both Reached For The Gun (Chicago)

93. Combat Carousel (Nombra101)

94. ClownPierce's Theme (Nombra101)

95. Born To Win (Nombra101)

96. NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A (Tobt Fox)

97. Hello Kitty (Jazmin Bean)

98. ECHO (Crusher-P)

99. Karma (VocaCircus)

100. KING (Kanaria)

101. Mary On A Cross (Ghost)

102. Running Up That Hill (Loveless)

103. Blow My Brains Out (Tikkle Me)

104. Hayloft (Mother Mother)

105. Hayloft II (Mother Mother)

106. World's Smallest Violin (AJR)

107. Burn The House Down (AJR)

108. Bang! (AJR)

109. Eleanor Rigby (Remastered 2015) (The Beatles)

110. King For A Day (PTV)

111. Black Cat (Never Shout Never)

112. Thnks fr th Mmrs (FOB)

113. Ancient History (SIO)

114. Devil Town (Cavetown)

115. Love Like You (Caleb Hyles & Ashe cover)

116. Sweater Weather (The Neighborhood)

117. Strawberry Blond (Mitski)

118. My Demons (STARSET)

119. Lock Me Up (The Cab)

120. Teeth (5SOS)

121. Tear In My Heart (TOP)

122. Partners In Crime (SIO)

123. Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back (MCR)

124. The Last Of The Real Ones (FOB)

125. Wolf In Sheep's Clothing (SIO)

126. You're Gonna Go Far, Kid (The Offspring)

127. Angel With A Shotgun (The Cab)

128. Icarus (Bastille)

129. Crazy = Genius (P!ATD)

130. Fear & Delight (The Correspondents)

131. Starkiller (Bear Ghost)

132. Paper Planes (M.I.A.)

133. Do It All The Time (IDKHOW)

134. Devil I Know (Allie X)

135. Royalty (Connor Maynard)

136. Looking Like This (Lyre Le Temps)

137. Build Our Machine (DAGames)

138. The Devil's Swing (Fandroid & Caleb Hyles)

139. Kiss Me (Jazzotron vs Jamie Berry)

140. Swagger Stagger (Lucas Pittman)

#Bonking Pierce with a stick he'll reblog this #[''roll the dice!'' | 🎲.txt]#long post #Love how it's just my playlist with a few extra songs and minus the casino music and electro swing with some exceptions

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tetsuwan-atom · 2 years

Text

Muse Info ~

FULL NAME: Bowen Wilhelm Chuuno

NICKNAMES/TITLES: The Madman, The Fallen Light, Mechanical Conqueror, Last Life.

AGE: 100/101 years old

GENDER: Male

SPECIES: Warped Atomite (Housing a demon in one verse)

SEXUAILTY: Pansexual

NATIONALITY: Himself

HAIR COLOR: Sickly Blonde (White in one verse)

EYE COLOR: Blue (Gold in one verse)

SKIN COLOR: Fair

HEIGHT: 6′0

WEIGHT: Not Recorded

PLACE OF BIRTH: Lobarr General Hospital, Lobarr City, Authrum.

CURRENT RESIDENCE: The Powerhouse

SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English, Japanese, French, German, some others.

CURRENT OCCUPATION: Scientist/Custodian of the Mechanical Empire, Ruler of Argentem (In one verse)

PREVIOUS OCCUPATION: Field Operator at the United Government’s Ministry of Science (Designation 1108)

RELAIONSHIP STATUS: Single(verse dependent)

PREVIOUS RELAIONSHIP STATUS: Single

CRIMINAL RECORD: Mass murder, crimes against humanity, mass ecocide, other unspeakable crimes.

DRINK(?): Yes

SMOKE(?): No

DRUGS(?): Possibly

PARENTS: Atlas Ethinger and Carolyn Fielding

SIBLINGS: None

DISTANT FAMILY(?): Unknown

CHILDREN(?): None

PETS(?): None

Tagged By : @vixlenxe - Thanks!

Tagging : Anyone who wants to do this!

#Dash Games : Piling Paperwork #The Madman : The Fallen Light

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brucereavis · 2 months

Text

Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil, whose kingdom consists of principalities, powers and rulers of darkness of this world, and spiritual wickedness in high places. There are different types of demons and different levels of wickedness. We can destroy the wicked early. (Psalm 101:8) We can destroy them that hate us (Psalm 18:40)

#jaysmith2232 #rob-020382 #kwizatz-hoodraxzt #franky-garcia-nomdeplume

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shehan-mga2022mi6021 · 3 months

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Worldbuilding 101 - defining conflicts

The first human war of 63 BV

63 years after Prathan was created, the four regions of Sindaan were prospering under the guidance of their leaders and deities. Prathan alongside Baalada ruled Balanapura and visited the other three regions occasionally to ensure its peace and prosperity. With industries growing the people of Sindaan were embracing their hereditary gifts. While things were looking good, the Cattadiyas of Agnithanna wished to expand their territory. They used their demon summoning witchcraft to create famine and sickness in Balanapura. Since Baalada was in human form the demons wanted to hurt her and force her to come seeking aid of Agnipura(Agnipura is the capital city of Agnithanna. The city is governed by the "Maaraka Rala '' which translates to "The death lot”. This is due to the devious nature of these rulers).

But a Balleadura from Upulanthe spied on the Maaraka Rala plans and relayed this to Prathan. Even though Baalada warned him before not to enter into war(The entire reason that the Gods and deities took the oath of disappearance was to avoid war and destruction in the world.) with the Demonists Prathan believed that the Demons must be defeated. But Prathan failed to see that when all the deities came together to create him, the demons also helped and gave a part of themselves to the humans. After two years of war Prathan soon fell victim to a curse placed on him by the Death lot. Soon after Prathan the first human passed away. His body was cremated and his ashes spread around the area where he was created.

Baalada was heartbroken of Prathan’s death, she had become human and justifiably loved her partner. Unable to bear the pain, Baalada, in a final act of sadness drained the deictic energy of Sindaanians, making only a limited number of people with claims to the divine energy. This was to ensure that the effects of sorcery were limited in the world. Many scholars debate to this day why she didn’t just take away the energy entirely. But she didn’t want humans to lose faith in the gods entirely, and these priests were the mediators between them and the gods.

Prathan’s son, Dewsena was announced by the Gods as the king of Balanapura. The death lot was reduced to mere shadows, some remained as advisors to the ruler of Agnipura. Others engaged in mysterious affairs, continuing Demonism and spreading its faith throughout the land. Grahaists and Aruvedists continued their peaceful existence. Thus the Baalada Varsha era came to an end. Next year began the rule of Dewsena on the 1 PV (Prathana Varsha, in the year of Prathana)

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thelordofdarkreunion · 3 years

Text

Things the Scoundrels Are No Longer Allowed to Do Part III

Based on “Skippy’s List,” this is a continuation of Things the Scoundrels are No Longer Allowed to Do. I hope you like it.

Part I

https://thelordofdarkreunion.tumblr.com/post/637424500291600384/a-list-of-things-the-scoundrels-are-no-longer

Part II

https://thelordofdarkreunion.tumblr.com/post/660088048783097856/things-the-scoundrels-are-no-longer-allowed-to-do

371. The “dibs” system is not a recognized method of promotion in the military.

372. High recoil guns and roller skates are not an accepted method of transportation.

373. You can’t find the true names of demons in the phone book.

374. If the top floor is too well defended, you can’t just blow off the next to top floor.

375. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to elope with anyone for any reason.

376. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to give anyone preemptive last rites.

377. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to name droids IC-UP.

378. The male and female members of the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hold competitions against each other outside the Scoundrels fleet. The last time that happened, the governor’s palace on Fildenfal got destroyed.

379. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to fish with flamethrowers.

380. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to call radio talk shows in the middle of missions.

381. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to re-create any scenes from Grease.

382. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

383. No amount of genetic engineering can turn pigs kosher.

384. There is not a map written in invisible ink on the back of the Declaration of Independence.

385. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to run for political office. Especially with the slogans “vote for me or I’ll kill you all,” or “because I’m just that awesome.”

386. When asked who their greatest role model is, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to answer Agent Smith from The Matrix.

387. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to shoot any god in the face just to brag that they did so.

388. Stain glass windows are not standard features on tanks. Stop giving the Imperium ideas.

389. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use guns to communicate in Morse code.

390. If it is cheaper to buy a new starship than reload your weapon, then there is a problem.

391. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to announce their arrival with eight straight hours of orbital bombardment.

392. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to put small restaurants on the bridges of their starships.

393. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to rent ad space on the outsides of their starships.

394. The Dirty Harry “Are you feeling lucky, punk?” speech does not really work with fully automatic pistols.

395. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to play High Speed Dirt while making emergency orbital re-entry.

396. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to convince shapeshifters to change into any celebrities or murderous dictators.

397. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to scan alien ambassadors for “cooties.”

398. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use government resources to pay their restaurant bills.

399. Most places frown upon using ammunition as currency.

400. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to mount bayonets on flamethrowers.

401. You can’t thwart Reaper cyber attacks by installing Norton antivirus.

402. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to sing along with the elevator music.

403. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use the Enterprise’s Holodeck to recreate scenes from Caligula.

404. Starting a flame war on the internet is bad. Starting a flame war not on the internet is much, much worse.

405. If it takes more than five minutes for the debris to stop falling, you need a smaller gun.

406. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to name newly discovered planets after themselves.

407. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to build Gatling Gatling guns.

408. Klingons do not have French accents, and it is wrong to state otherwise.

409. Darth Nihilus does not “just need a hug.”

410. Dr. Suess rhymes do not have any part in exorcisms.

411. Unitards are not part of any of our governments’ dress uniforms.

412. Using heavy artillery in assassinations is just being lazy.

413. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to buy onesie pajamas to “raise crew morale.”

414. You can’t just shoot a hole in the surface of Mars.

415. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to surf in active war zones.

416. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to put discotheques, bowling alleys, or movie theaters in their starships.

417. “Getting uppity” is not a capital offense.

418. Deer season is restricted to rifles and bows, and, thus, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hunt deer using Greco-Roman wrestling.

419. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to start telethons.

420. Imperial Star Destroyers do not have help desks.

421. The Covenant does not have an IT department.

422. Using ventriloquism to trick your enemies into fighting each other is fine. Using ventriloquism to trick your superior officers in fighting is not.

423. You can’t suplex Tyranid monstrosities.

424. Summary Execution Man is not an appropriate name for a superhero.

425. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to ask the Ultramarines why their chapter’s primary color isn’t ultramarine.

426. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to recreate scenes from Blues Brothers.

427. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to tell AI’s that only humans can divide by zero.

428. The Scoundrels do not need to know the melting point of Borg.

429. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to post-date letters of marque.

430. The city of Boise, Idaho, does not need a dark, brooding vigilante of the night.

431. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to run up their enemies’ cable bills by ordering PPV movies on their TVs.

432. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to improvise, “wing”, or fabricate alien funeral rites.

433. The Scoundrels will keep all eldritch artifacts of unspeakable power out of the reach of small children.

434. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to ask tech-priests if they are AC or DC.

435. “Medium rare” is not a phaser setting.

436. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hold AT-AT drag races.

437. Any gun that’s wattage is best described in scientific notation is not allowed.

438. Off duty Space Marines wear robes, not tank tops and speedos.

439. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to enter or exit buildings while playing Carolus Rex.

440. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to brew any alcohol that can double as jet fuel.

441. Vrul do not appreciate the Socratic method.

442. Snipers don’t appreciate their spotters yelling “Boom! Headshot!”

443. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to do anything they saw Nicholas Cage do.

444. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to call suicide prevention hotlines on behalf of the Death Korps of Krieg.

445. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to make Liechtenstein a world superpower.

446. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to make any plan that hinges on their opponent having a peanut allergy.

447. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to hack into the national address systems of any government that could be considered communist and broadcast Economics 101 lessons over them.

448. Apex Predator Pilots will not respond to jury summons.

449. They do not make civilian models of mini guns, and the Scoundrels are discouraged to visit any country that does.

450. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to regift cursed artifacts.

451. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to convince super soldiers to get pompadour, Afro, or macaroni hairstyles.

452. You can’t plea bargain mass regicide, even if the rulers in question were incredibly corrupt.

453. When asked who the greatest human being of all time was, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to answer Millard Fillmore. (Who’s Millard Fillmore?)

454. There will be no more product placement in the mission evaluation videos.

455. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to commission statues of themselves, especially if said statue is meant to be mounted on the outside of their starships.

456. Mission preparation does not include a mani/pedi.

457. It is best if Master Chief does not go through the metal detector in customs.

458. “Call in the Deathwatch and wait for the screams to stop” is not automatically Plan A.

459. Despite its tremendous cost to benefit ratio, bubble wrap is not a staple in black op missions.

460. If challenged to a competition by an individual of a species whose average height is below 5’5”, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to choose basketball.

461. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to question ONI agents or Ordo Malleus operatives on why a town of 4,000 people with zero strategic value warranted a 100 megaton nuke.

462. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to genetically engineer walruses to ballroom dance.

463. In retrospect, it was a bad idea to show Imperial Inquisitors Monty Python skits.

464. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to engage in any “research” involving more than a gallon of super balls.

465. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to lease out Halo Rings, even if they include the option to buy.

466. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to be in possession of any carbonated beverages while in possession of Mentos brand mints. The last time that happened, they somehow managed to cause an earthquake near Indonesia. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to claim responsibility for natural disasters unless they were actually responsible for them.

467. The Scoundrels will refrain from encouraging tech-priests to develop emotional attachments to heavy ordinance.

468. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to form political parties, especially based on themselves.

469. Anesthetic is not “only for sissies.”

470. If the person who posted a bounty asks for proof, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to bring back the bounty’s reanimated corpse.

471. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to abuse homonyms.

472. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to purchase modern art with government funds.

473. “The Chaos Gods are bad, so, therefore we should reforge and summon the Nightbringer to destroy them” is a really, really bad idea.

474. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to start a cult that worships Richard Sharpe, Jason Bourne, or John Wick.

475. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to abuse union bylaws to exploit holes in security.

476. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to expose individuals to Reaper technology, Sith holocrons and Chaos artifacts to “see which form of corruption will win.”

477. Militaristic, highly honorable species, such as the Drev or Klingon, do not appreciate you fighting dirty in their trials by combat.

478. If asked to choose a religion, the Scoundrels cannot make their choice solely by the greatest number of sexual positions it allows.

479. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to rate their favorite alien species by which ones have reproductive systems closest to humanity.

480. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to dual wield .50 caliber machine guns.

481. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to say “I am Alpharius.” Ever.

482. There is no such thing as a right to a strip search.

483. While it is customary to initiate a duel by striking with a gauntlet, it is also customary to do so at subsonic speeds.

484. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use heavy artillery for industrial purposes.

485. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use wombats for medicinal purposes.

486. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to spend the entirety of their bonus pay on flamethrowers.

487. The following aren’t acceptable seconds in duels: Space Marine Chapter Masters (even if you are on a first name basis with them), intelligent demon swords, the primarch of Palaven, Prussia.

488. The Scoundrels will keep the amount of sexual innuendo to a minimum during autopsy reports.

489. If you are given a wish by an immortal, you are to leave out the words “you incompetent prick.”

490. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to organize skeet shoots with office furniture.

491. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to genetically engineer any animal from the continent of Australia.

492. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to start wars over what the best polearm is.

493. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to give shout-outs in ransom notes.

494. You can’t learn a language by only learning the profanities of said language. Even if the Russians in your crews disagree.

495. If a party is black tie, that doesn’t mean just painted on the armor.

496. Every day is not Mardi Gras.

497. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to sneak into the Sanctum Imperialis or the Celzex throne room disguised as a documentary crew. Especially on behalf of Trazyn the Infinite.

498. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to threaten sentient monsters by telling Cajun restaurants their location.

499. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to abuse the “kids eat free” rule at any restaurant.

500. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to compare Starfleet uniforms to the Wiggles.

501. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to dump napalm in fire sprinkler tanks.

502. Support gunships are for air support, not beer runs.

503. While acting as sniper spotters, the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to play I Spy.

504. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to call enemy corporation’s tech support for help with breaking into their computer network.

505. “Humor me” is not an acceptable targeting parameter on robotic sentry guns.

506. None of the Scoundrels need 10 tons of duct tape for any reason whatsoever.

507. It is not a race to strip mine a planet.

508. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to buy any major league sports team.

509. Asking a taxidermist to stuff a deer head is OK. Asking the same taxidermist to stuff a full-size rancor is not.

510. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use necron “My Will Be Done” programs on Reapers.

511. Any argument with your significant other will be done verbally and in person, not across the battlefield using heavy artillery as Morse code.

512. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to imitate Captain Jack Sparrow in any way, shape, or form.

513. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to use Siri as their ship’s central computer.

514. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to play the theme from Jaws on missions to aquatic planets.

515. There are only so many flavors of beef jerky, and the Scoundrels are no longer allowed to create new ones.

516. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to create their own frozen pizza lines.

517. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to go trick-or-treating, especially dressed as themselves.

518. Peter Quill is not allowed to quote Parks and Recreation.

519. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to communicate exclusively in a computer programming language.

520. The answer to a Flood invasion is not to ask junior personnel if they’re “bad enough dudes” to contain it.

521. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to ask weapons corporations to sponsor children’s charities.

522. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to conduct interviews on new personnel. Especially not if they specifically ask for them.

523. Ghillie suits are not formal wear.

524. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to summarily execute anyone who causes a M.R.V.N. to display a sad face.

525. “Kill ‘em all and let God sort it out” is not a valid battle plan.

526. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to enter diplomatic conferences via the Old Time Rock and Roll slide. Especially not in their underwear.

527. “Excessive flatulence” is not a crime punishable by death.

528. “Oops, I missed” does not excuse missing a shot by that much.

529. Even if you claim you hit exactly what you were aiming at.

530. The Scoundrels are no longer allowed to antagonize anyone who can kill them with their minds.

There we have it. I hope you enjoyed, and if you have any suggestions to add to the list, feel free to tell me!

#magnificent scoundrels #skippy's list #funny #list of things you are no longer allowed to do #halo #master chief #star wars #mass effect #warhammer 40k #star trek

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chibinekochan · 6 months

Link

Chapters: 7+8 Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me! (Video Game) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Barbatos (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader Characters: Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Barbatos (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Demon Brothers (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Demon King (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Reader Series: Part 3 of How to become a Demon Ruler Summary:

In the last we forcefully got send back to the human realm. Now we deal with the aftermath.

Will there be a way back to our demon home? What will happen if we do?

Read more to find out.

#obey me #omswd #obey me diavolo #demon ruler 101

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blacksunscorpio · 4 years

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Hi Scorp! I just have to tell you I've been on this site for a while and I'm so glad to come across someone's page that breaks astrology down so succinctly and in a fun and personal way. I wish more people we like you- you're a gem! I'd like to get started too and want to know in your opinion what the signs of a good astrologer are and how one can become one? Your help is as always so appreciated! I really admire you!

Thank you, love- Good Question

Signs of A Good Astrologer

1. They Understand Multiple Systems

Now, not every astrologer will use them. Some are more comfortable with Vedic, others Placidus, some Quadrant or Draconic and a few Horary or Equal House. Regardless, they’ll be able to entertain all kinds even if they subscribe to another/one in particular.

2. They Can Read A Natal Wheel

I know this may sound like a given but some folks who get into astrology just use a calculator or generator to pull up aspects and chart patterns. They won’t actually look at the wheel and see where planets land or how to work their way around the circle. They may not understand the red lines from the green or blue. It’s important to not only rely on a calculator but understand the wheel as a blueprint. You can catch many things and see many aspect patters [T-Squares, Grand Trines Yods, etc] with the naked eye. The natal wheel is the birth chart in its raw form. Anyone studying anything must begin with the basics. The wheel, fresh-faced is the best place to start. From there, the 101′s of Astrology become easier to grasp

3. They Do Not Rely On One App Alone

The sign of any good astrologer [or anyone studying anything] is citing multiple sources and cross-referencing them. As we all know, technology, though an excellent modern tool is imperfect. It too can have glitches and miscalculations. For that reason, it’s important as an astrologer to at least have 2 to 3 calculators [including their own brain and hands] to break things down. This gives a better-rounded view of how charts work and can even introduce you to aspects you didn’t realize existed [parallels, contraparallels, etc]. Cafe Astrology is good for beginners but does not show you minor aspects [Quincunxes, sesquiquadrates, noviles or bi-quintiles] or chart patters like Astro.com does. Co-Star is good for millennials who are just starting and does a fantastic job of giving you a daily horoscope as well, but can really f-things up house-wise. [They are based out of NY and I rejected a job offer from them because of it.] Alabe.com is Ok but they make you input longitude and latitude which not everyone has access to and sometimes it just won’t take. Still, without cross-referencing you’d never know. Cast your net wide so you can get the best return.

4. They Understand Natal, Synastry, and Composite

While it’s important to understand how someone’s natal chart functions and relates to them as a person, or placements in general, we as Human Beings are social creatures. We operate in tribal, familial and unit systems. As a result, it’s important to know how people operate with each other as well as individually. A good astrologer will understand Synastry [aspects/energy between people] and Composite [midpoint and Davison, which is the Astrology of the relationship itself] in addition to Natal patterns.

5. They Have a Good Grasp of History

Mercury, Mars, Rahu, Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto? All names of Ancient God’s. When we understand the origins of these Planetary names, we can have a good grasp as to why they’re attributed to said planets/points. Modern planets are named after Roman Gods who all have ties to ancient Greece/India as well. When you understand the myths and stories you’ll already have a head start on why Venus is named after Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, since Venus rules love and what we appreciate. Mars [Aries] is the planet of war, sexual drive and action as is the Hellenistic/Roman God. Lilith is Adam’s first wife in Hebrew tradition and her hypothetical point in astrology embodies her traits. Make sense? Even the asteroids are named after minor gods and characters in the classics. Studying up on these can really help with understanding the planets as a whole.

6. They are Patient

Let’s face it, understanding astrology is not something that comes over night. It is also quite difficult to find in-depth classes for the study. Because of this, it is important for you or any astrologer for that matter to take their time. Don’t rush. Some can spend a lifetime studying and never know all there is to know. I myself learn new things everyday that I share with you all on here. Take your time. Be patient. Astrology is deeply metaphorical, philosophical as well as mathematical. Some may have a stronger grasp with one than another [as a former humanities major, I personally detest math but I’ll be damned if that makes me give up- I keep trying]. A good astrologer will give themselves and others grace to really grasp the concepts they are learning and know that it is not a 24 our crash course.

Red Flags

With the good comes the bad/things many can work on to improve. The sign of an astrologer not living up to their full potential are:

1. Astrologers That Only Say Good Things About Your Sign

Let’s face it, astrology is not a study for those who like to sugar coat. The reality of life is that everything has a dark and light side. Just like every zodiac sign has positive and shadow traits. [Though I am a Scorpio and very loyal to my sign and people, I feel it necessary if I am to help others, to make them understand the under-developed traits of Plutonians/Martians in general.] You gotta keep it real. It is important to be honest. That is the only way to get to your sign’s final form. To understand what traits you/your sister signs/cousins are prone to.

2. Astrologers That Point Out Troublesome Placements Without Telling You How to Remedy Them

Big No-No. Astrology is about activism and altruism. It, by nature, is a study quite akin to Psychology. One of my heroes, Liz Greene actually based many of her astrological studies off Jungian psychology. And what is astrology if not psychology with a cosmic twist? ;). A good therapist will isolate your issues but the point in hiring them is for them to aid you in fixing the issues you’re struggling with, no? Same with a good astrologer. They’ll tell you when something is an issue, yes, but they will also give tips and pointers on how to handle the energy or steps to reconciling the energy within your self and others. If someone is simply pointing out that you’re a Capricorn with a Taurus moon and therefore, have pessimistic tendencies, but don’t tell you how to balance that, then they are not doing the best job they can for you.

3. Astrologers That Demonize a Single Sign or Placement

Or astrologers who are inherently judgmental about your tendencies [many Boomers unfortunately I’ve seen have a habit with this *sigh*]. This is also a No-No. Look, we are all entitled to our own opinion and there is dark and light in each astrological placement. But someone who says “all Pisceans are whiny-crybabies”, “all Virgos are obsessive compulsive critics” or “All Leos are egotistical cheaters” is not someone you want to take very seriously, lol. Sounds like these people got hurt by one of the above and as a result, have a war on everyone with these placements. By proxy, they use astrology to let out their frustrations which is a very twisted way to go about things. We all vibe with one sign or placement more than another of course, but even your fav may have a Mars placement in a sign you though you hated. It is best to be impartial and look at ALL aspects and ALL signs with fairness. The point of astrology is to understand. Once you understand someone or something it’s quite hard to be judgmental [if you’re really going about it with an open-mind]. Just like traveling or spending time with others different from you makes it impossible to be a racist or a bigot. Why? Because you took the time to really connect.

Anyone can become an astrologer with the right discipline and a good amount of grit and curiosity. I think you have the right attitude on how to go about it ;). Here are a few helpful resources to get you started:

1. Spark Notes on Astrology 101

2. Natal Chart Simplified.

3. Decans in Astrology

4. Which Decan Do You Belong To?

5. How to Find Your Dominant Planet

6. Difference Between Your Chart Ruler and Dominant Planet

7. How I learned Astrology

8. My Astro Musings

#Astrology 101 #anon #astro asks #Signs of a good Astrologer #astro Tumblr #astrology asks #Astrology advice #Bruja Tips #astrology how-to's #witchblr

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suraanahita · 3 years

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I wrote in an older post that:

“Something interesting to note is that there is no full equivalent of Ahura Mazda in the early Vedic texts (Rigveda to be exact). The closest thing would be “ásurasya māyáyā”, aka “Magic of the Asuras” (or their - literally - “mind-powers” as One). I just wanted to include this because it helps display a relationship between the Yazads and Ohrmazd. There is a unity, but also a plurality among them (unique in their own right).”

In terms of linguistics the direct Sanskrit cognate to “Ahura Mazda” would be “Asura Medha”. Although this doesn’t appear at all together, as one name anywhere in the Vedas AFAIK.

HOWEVER! “Asura Mahat” is a title Varuna is given after he champions Rta (Asha)... This more or less correlates with the name of Ahura Mazda (as the “Great (Wise) Lord”). Medha or Medhira is a quality also very associated with Varuna too, as he is the benevolent and thoughtful Asura King, the (original) ruler of the heavens who judges both men and gods. The name “Varun” too is listed as one of Ahura Mazda’s 101 names... funnily enough.

Despite this though, “Varun” (Varuna) as a deity is a dīv/dēv/daēva i.e shadowy/false being. “Varun” is quickly referenced sometimes as a demon (in one Gathic commentary, Bundahišn, and Videvdat) who promotes “unnatural lust”.

Most of our daevas serve as the dual opposites to their respective ahura/yazata counterparts. For example, the good Tishtrya (similar to Vedic Tishya or Indra; rainfall/divine arrow) vs the evil Apaosha (drought).

Here are some other daevas that some might recognize (by name):

Indra (Andra/Indar)

Nasatya/Ashvins (Naonghaithya)

P.S There wasn’t really a “widespread demonization” of an entire pantheon. The entire dichotomy is semantics. Most daēvas one wouldn’t recognize. I can name a few, Jeh, Az, Zarigh, Aeshma, Bushyasta, Mitokht, Nasu, and so on...

#hubris/pride comes before the fall #zoroastrian #Zoroastrianism #dualism #Varuna actually does exist in our pantheon #despite his obvious parallels with Ohrmazd (as dyaus-varuna)#he is most likely The Ahura/Baga i.e Apam Napat #who Mithra is invoked with #Apam Napat is also referenced as this (mysterious) creator deity #he and Mithra safeguard The Farr and bestow it to men and women (givers of divine kingship)#OG creator -> god of waters/sea exists for both Iranic Apam Napat/Borz Yazad and Indic Varuna

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black-widowfics · 3 years

Text

My most used writing Prompts:

(There's a lot)

1. "I love you... baby"

2. "God, you're adorable"

3. "Hey, cutie"

4. "I promise to love you for the rest of my life"

5. "I don't care if you're sick, catching a cold from kissing you is worth it"

6. "You are so perfect"

7. "You're the best part of me"

8. "Stay here with me. Please?"

9. "I'm speechless you're so beautiful"

10. "Aww! You're adorable"

11. "So romantic"

12. "I'll love you until the end of the universe" "haven't we been there before?"

13. "Do you need a hug?"

14. "I love you, my dearest"

15. "Come here, I need to hug you"

16. "When everything's wrong, it's you that makes it right"

17. "You're the one"

18. "Have i ever pointed out how beautiful you are? " "Yes, all the time"

19. "I'm bored" " then why don't we do something more interesting?"

20. Forehead kisses

21. Hand kisses

22. "That tickles!" Kisses

23. Kisses that make them smile

24. Breathless kisses

25. Cheek kisses

26. Nose Kisses

27. "God, i love you" Kisses

28. Kisses that end with laughter

29. Never wanting to pull away kisses

30. Multiple face kisses

31. Big, long kisses

32. Long Awaited Kisses

34. "Finally, you guys kissed" Kisses

35. Goodbye kisses

36. Kisses accompanied by happy tears

37. Kisses accompanied by sad tears

38. Kisses that get interrupted

39. Kisses to distract them from winning

40. "Just woke up" Kisses

41. Excited Kisses

42. Long awaited kisses

43. "I missed you so much" kisses

44. Sneaking up behind them and surprising them kisses

45. Kisses to help them concentrate

46. Kisses as a reward(passed a hard exam, won a game, etc)

47. "No! No! No! Wake up! Please!"

48. "Please don't leave"

49. "... I love you"

50. "You killed someone, do you really think they'll still love you?!"

51. "They were my world, but now they're gone"

52. "I miss you so much, please come back"

53. "I know you're gone, but i feel you here"

54. "Tears are all I see without you"

55. "You're happy, with someone else. And that hurts"

56. "Just leave!"

57. "Promise me you'll live a great life, without me"

58. "I don't need you"

59. "The world is dull without you"

60. "I miss being in your arms"

61. "Get out of my life!"

62. "I don't love you anymore"

63. "Goodnight, i have always loved you "

65. "I may be dying, but please, don't cry over me"

67. "Thank you, for helping me live the greatest life i could"

68. "These tears will never stop falling"

69. "You were so perfect, but now you're gone"

70. "You were so perfect, but now you're moved on"

71. That's the way to break my heart"

72. "You're happy in someone else's arms "

73. "Take me back to the good old days "

74. Billions of people in the world, and I chose you, how stupid was that"

75. "I wish i didn't have to lose you"

76. "I wish you didn't have to lose me "

77. "I wish that could be me "

78. Character A and Character B, sworn enemies, are chosen to prepare the company Christmas Party.

79. Character A's best friend rigs the Secret Santa, because they know Character A has a crush on Character B.

80. Character A's ex will be at the A is attending. Character B poses as A's fiancée.

81. "Don't look at me, I was still dead at the time."

82. "....Aren't you a little young, to be here?"

83. Character A and Character B meet in the ER on Christmas Eve.

84. Character A can't wrap gifts to save their life. Character B is their neighbor and can help.

85. Character A vows to do something nice for a stranger. Character B is that stranger.

86. Character A and Character B both sign up for a Pen Pal project to exchange postcards.

87. Character A and Character B broke up, but now they meet at a _____ party.

88. Character A is stuck working in a coffee shop on Christmas and Character B is the lonely soul spending their whole day there.

89. Character A's little sibling/child wants to meet their favorite celebrity/writer/person for their birthday. Character B is called "birthday present".

90. Character A can't travel to see their family on Christmas, so they invite their grumpy loner neighbor Character B.

91. Character A and Character B compete in (some kind of) house decoration.

92. Character A bakes too many ______ so they share it with Character B.

93. It's Character A's first Christmas since a tragedy.

94. Character A returns to their birth-town for the holidays. Character B is their estranged childhood best friend.

95. Character A is pretending to be their friend's lover for the sake of the friend's family. Character B is said friend's sibling.

96. Character A loses a bet and has to wear_____ . Character B won the bet.

97. Character A owns a _____ store. Character B is looking for a present.

98. Character A doesn't feel the Christmas spirit but Character B, who lives above them, keeps playing Christmas carols really loud.

99. Character A overhears Character B's birthday wish and decides to fulfill it.

100. Character A was planning to leave dramatically after their confession but character B unhooked their batteries when A wasn't looking so I guess they have to talk about it now.

101. Your doomsday device didn't work but it did put me in the hospital so what are you doing in my room?

102. We've been roommates for seven years and we had a fight but you left me a note right after you moved out saying you were in love with me.

103. "If we get out of this mess you and I are going to have a serious talk about the appropriate time for emotional conversations."

104. "According to these screenshots I need to leave the country immediately."

105. Spontaneously confessed to crush while under the influence.

106. Tried to have a conversation with a cardboard cutout after surgery.

107. "That's it I'm never leaving my room again I can't live this one down."

108. Gave a brutally honest opinion and doesn't remember it.

109. "You said you had the best idea ever and then proceeded to write [extremely stupid thing] as a note to yourself."

110. "tried kissing once and it wasn't for us."

111. We make out at parties and clubs so other folks will leave us alone.

112. "Of course I'm in their lap where else am I going to sit?"

113. Their constantly orbiting around each other.

114. "just because YOUR friends aren't affectionate doesn't mean that there's a problem with US".

115. platonic cuddle puddle.

116. Not so platonic cuddle puddle.

117. "So what we go on friend dates, don't make it weird."

118. Always carries the other's favorite snacks.

119. "I thought I told you to stop calling me 'Your Majesty'."

120. "Lower you weapons!"

121. "I...I am not worthy of this crown."

122. "People are fighting– dying for their kingdom! What kind of Ruler would I be if I didn't join them at the front lines?"

123. "You know I am a prince/princess/royal, right?" "Well yes-" "Then do me a favor and stop telling me what to do."

124. "Since when do you know how to wield a sword?"

125. "Go! If this kingdom goes down, then I will go down with it as it's Ruler"

126. "All the fine silks and perfumes in the world won't mask what a pompous jerk you are."

127. "After all this time, you still don't trust me?"

128. "Get me out of this dress!"

129. "Why so serious, Your Highness?"

130. "How does a walk through the gardens sound?"

131. "I do believe I've proven that you are more than a mere guard to me, ______."

132. "This kingdom cannot go on without you! Please, it's time for you to take your rightful place at the throne."

133. "Your Majesty, is that blood on your dress?"

134. "Walk with me, please. I can't stand another second in that room with their intoxicating pride and old perfumes."

135. "At ease, _____, I know I'm safe with you by my side."

136. "I see we're back to 'Your Highness'. "

137. "A moment with you is far more exciting than a lifetime of cheap conversations and corsets."

138. "...is that my crown you're wearing?"

139. "Promise you'll come back to me." "As long as you promise to wait for me."

140. "Let go of me– that is an order!"

141. "Forgive me, my love."

142. "No, no, it looks far better on you than it does me."

143."This is the part where I kiss the extremely beautiful princess, right?"

144. "how could I ever love someone else?"

145. I'm dancing with my demons

146.I just can't imagine how you could be okay now that I'm gone

147. "I wanna fall wide awake"

148. "You tell me it's alright but its not!"

149. "Tell me I'm forgiven... please."

150. "Nobody can save me"

151. "I don't wanna let you down"

152. "Only I can save me"

153. "There's no getting through to you"

154. "You say I can't understand"

155. "When you leave me, where do you go?"

156. "I'm just talking to myself"

157. "Can't you hear me calling you home?"

158. "You keep running like the sky is falling"

159. "I've got a long way to go and a long memory."

160. "If my armor breaks I'll fuse it back together"

161. "Please just don't give up on me"

162. "I know the words we said"

163. "This is not black and white"

164. "I was not mad at you"

165. "If you ever felt invisible, I won't let you feel that now"

166. "You just wanna know you're being heard"

167. "I don't like my mind right now"

168. "There's comfort in the panic"

169. "I drive myself crazy"

170. "Why is everything so heavy?"

171." I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me"

172. "I know I'm not the center of the universe"

173. "I only halfway apologize"

174. "I'll be sorry for now"

175. "Sometimes things refuse to go the way we planned"

176. "There will be a day that you will understand"

177. "After a while you may forget"

178. "I never wanted to say goodbye"

179. "I've never been higher than I was that night"

180. "Now I remember"

181. "I don't know what I want"

182. "Were there signs I ignored?"

183. "Can I help you not to hurt anymore?"

184. "Who cares if one more light goes out in a sky of a million stars?" "I do"

185. "You're angry, and you should be"

186. "It's not fair"

187. "You're gonna hurt someone"

188. "Watch the friends you keep."

189. "Sharp edges have consequences"

190. "Every scar is a story I can tell"

191. "I loved you like a house of cards, and let it fall apart"

192. "It made me who I am"

193. "We all fall down"

194. "We live somehow"

195. "I can't live without you."

196. "You're the only one for me."

197. "I've never loved anyone the way I love you."

198. "The things you do to me..."

199. "You're too good to me."

200. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

201. "You're the most beautiful person I know."

202. "Stay with me... please."

203. "Nothing has ever felt so right."

204. "You don't know how much you do for me just by being there."

205. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

206. "No matter what anyone says, I'll cherish you forever."

207. "You make it so easy to love you."

208. "I want to hold you and never let go."

209. "Kiss me."

210. "My only wish is to see you happy."

211. "You make me a better person."

212. "I love you more than words can express."

213. "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just wish you had kept yours to yourself."

214. "I don't know how to tell you this, but yelling at someone to, stop panicking, isn't going to stop them from panicking."

215. "It's not your fault. Sometimes you can do everything right, and things will still go wrong.... This just happened to be one of those times."

216. ".....I'm going to pretend I didn't see that."

217. "Why am I the one who always ends up getting targeted by the creep of the week?!"

218. "Fuck.... I knew I should have bought those light up sneakers."

219. "None of this, seems healthy."

220. "....Should I be concerned?"

221. "I said pass it to me, not 'throw it in my general direction'!"

222. "It is my deep pleasure, to inform you that I am not the one in charge here."

223. "Quick! You hide the equipment, I'll hide the grenades!"

224. "Should I call someone for you?"

225. "Did you take anything?"

226. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

227. "When was the last time you ate anything?"

228. "Can you walk?"

229. "How do you think this will all end?"

230. "Do you need an ambulance?"

231. "Where you crying?"

232. "Should someone help you get home?"

233. "Do you know where you are?"

234. "Can you tell me your name?"

235. "Where do you want me to take you to?"

236. "Do you need my help?"

237. "How do you feel now?"

238. "Can I do anything that would make it better?"

239. "Do you want my jacket?"

240. "Can you let me see your eyes?"

241. "Should I stay a bit longer?"

242. "Will you be alright?"

243. "Do you have someone who can look after you?”

244. “An interesting crossover”

#writing prompt #story prompt #bucky barnes x reader #infinity war #avengers #deadpool #marvel #quotes #sherlock #star wars

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fangsofdestruction · 2 years

Text

I posted 277 times in 2021

101 posts created (36%)

176 posts reblogged (64%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.7 posts.

I added 661 tags in 2021

#(companionship is a luxury many only dream of. thread) - 160 posts

#thecursedpriestess - 129 posts

#(time is but a construct for the weak. queue) - 106 posts

#(under the banner of the inugami. yakuyoukai) - 61 posts

#(the daiyoukai enlightens. ask) - 59 posts

#(kikyo02) - 48 posts

#(kikyo01) - 28 posts

#needlcss - 24 posts

#(hidden behind a mask.anonymous) - 23 posts

#(prompted situations and questions. meme) - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 54 characters

#(companionship is a luxury many only dream of. thread)

My Top Posts in 2021

ғʀᴏᴍ ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟᴏᴏᴍs, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅs ᴍɪᴋᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇᴍᴏɴ. ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴘᴀssᴇs ᴄʀᴜᴇʟʟʏ.

I commissioned this piece with my own money, so the piece belongs to me. Do not steal, do not edit, do not use, and do not repost. I was given permission to post onto my blog. @thecursedpriestess

Art by ChoChanAdopt from DeviantArt

14 notes • Posted 2021-07-11 00:14:54 GMT

Closed starter for @thecursedpriestess

A truth of life that Sesshomaru could live by, it was the fact that life was never truly peaceful, specially so for those of the Demon persuasion. After Naraku’s demise, it could be said that the lives of Japan have become significantly more peaceful, but with Demons roaming the Earth, the humans could never truly rest their heart at ease. The human settlements that housed others of significant ability could boast the feeling of ease that befalls them at night.

In the past month, villages have been attacked by what appeared to be giant demonic bees. Those in the know, would recognize such creatures to be ‘Saimyosho’ the ever, present buzzing lackey of Naraku. These Saimyosho would suddenly appear out of seemingly nowhere and attack a few humans before disappearing just as swiftly as they’d appeared, leaving naught a trace of their existence. Each attack on the human settlements were swift and fierce, but also short-lived. Without a clue as to the intent of these attacks, anxiety rose among the fear-stricken humans.

The first town, especially fearful of what the appearance of the Saimyosho meant. This town was home to Kaede, who could easily recognize the Saimyosho. Unfortunately, Kaede had been away from the village at the time as she was teaching the children how to properly forage for medicinal herbs. It wasn’t until a young man alerted her of the situation did she pick her bow, ready to fight. Alas, the Saimyosho had already begun their retreat when Kaede approached the village. Only the back visages of the giant bees could be seen.

On the defensive, Kaede had ensured to remain near the village, with a bow and arrow on her person at all times. Should the Saimyosho appear once more, she’d be ready to fight for the safety of the village. Unfortunately, the pests have yet to appear before her after the initial attack, but word of other villages being attacked spread through word of mouth. Without the convenience of ‘phones’ or ‘mails,’ a mysterious commodity Kagome once explained to her, information was slowly distributing to other villages.

Within a few weeks, word of these pests spread through word of mouth between both humans and Demons alike. Being the ruler of the West he was, Sesshomaru’s curiosity was piqued upon receiving a report of the sighting of the Saimyosho. With various human settlements being attacked, in particular, the one which the human Kaede oversaw, the Daiyoukai saw fit for his presence on the scene. The safety of Rin was imperative, as such, Sesshomaru ordered for Jaken to personally oversee this endeavor by enlisting subservient Demons to investigate into the matter.

Jaken, being the center, was collating the information relayed to him, reporting to his Lord once sufficient information was scrutinized and evaluated. “Mi’lord, these pesky bees seem to appear out of no where and attack only human settlements. After harassing and injuring some humans aggressively, they retreat in pursuit of their next victims. As of right now, we cannot say for sure we understand the pattern in which these pests are attacking in.” Jaken held out a map for his Lord to observe, noting with ink the areas in which the Saimyosho had attacked humans. “In this Jaken’s humble opinion, perhaps we should visit this site, the only human settlement that the bees have revisited. This town must be special.”

Indeed, the attack pattern of the bees were a mystery. It was not as though the bees were attacking in such a way the sites would spell a word or a number. The dates in which the bees attacked nor the time of day alluded to any hint in particular. The only fact worth noting was that the points, though not perfectly uniform or equidistant from each other, the third to seventh attacks formed a diamond shape. With the way the bees attack pattern turned to return to a central point, it stood to reason that there should be another attack that would complete yet another diamond shape.

『Making use of Demons across the lands is indeed convenient.』

By using subservient Demons, ones that have come under his service in recent times, he could collect information much faster than some others. Demons could traverse lands undeterred and with enviable swiftness. As such, his resourcefulness yielded him the ability of noticing this pattern of the Saimyosho attacks. Some things were easier to see from a plan view. It was highly doubtful that many humans even had the amount of information that Sesshomaru himself was privy to. Being a Lord of the Western lands provided perks.

Studying the map, he could deduce the approximate area in which the Saimyosho may attack next. The problem being that the site was quite close to the village Kaede lived. This fact alone was unforgivable in Sesshomaru’s mind.

❝Jaken, take A-un and visit the site yourself, reconveening with the scout. This Sesshomaru has something to investigate himself.❞

After all, the best Demon this one can trust to get a job done correctly was himself. As he moves to test his own hypothesis, he can later visit the first site of the attacks to check in on Rin’s status. In the process, he may run into a few familiar and unwanted faces. A ‘joyous’ occasion it may be should he cross paths with a certain half-brother of his indeed. With how only the bees were attacking human settlements, he strongly doubted that this was a sign of Naraku’s second coming, but rather be some inane joke on some sick, twisted, and deranged soul. A coincidence that he’d met such a mysterious Demon just a mere months ago.

19 notes • Posted 2021-09-24 23:07:29 GMT

@thecursedpriestess, A gift of sorts. This is what to look forward to.

I commissioned this piece with my own money, so the piece belongs to me. Do not steal, do not edit, do not use, and do not repost. I was given permission to post onto my blog.

71 notes • Posted 2021-06-24 22:00:43 GMT

Eyes clouded with nostalgia look to the past as eyes full of hope look to the future. All the same, time is the constant common ground shared between lifetimes.

I commissioned this piece with my own money, so the piece belongs to me. Do not steal, do not edit, do not use, and do not repost. I was given permission to post onto my blog. Only @thecursedpriestess and I were given permission to make icons using this art.

101 notes • Posted 2021-06-28 22:02:22 GMT

@thecursedpriestess

A small child ran out from a dark alleyway, falling onto the side road, scraping their knee. The child had just been chased by a dark figure who didn’t dare step pass the safety of the dark. With a small sniffle, the child shakily stands on their two feet and hastily looks back into the dark alleyway, only relaxing once realizing nothing was going to come out.

This scene being quite unusual around these parts, the child garnered some attention from the casual passerby. As more people started paying attention to the child, some tried to approach, but the suddenness startled the child who was already on edge. Then suddenly, the child bolts into the street towards the local park. They were small and fast, so it wouldn’t be that difficult to hide within the trees of the park.

At this time of day the park tended to be pretty empty aside from children playing with their mother's watching over them. There was the occasional person who may come around to talk a stroll while on a break, but it still stood that this time yielded the least amount of foot traffic in the park, the child could be alone if they did things properly.

The child ran for safety, finally resting underneath a giant tree in the park, fabled to be the oldest tree in the park. Now resting, the child could finally assess the injury on her knee. “Ouch…” Now alone and feeling safe from harm, the child finally releases her tears. “Mama…” She sniffles, the anxiety now kicking in full throttle.

103 notes • Posted 2021-03-31 23:31:00 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#(the sun peeks out. mun)

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