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#denugis
kirathehyrulian · 5 months
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How I'd Rate the SPN Seasons:
I was tagged by @qprbros to rank spn [supernatural seasons Tier List Maker] I'm not completely sure about my ranking choices, but I think this is approximately how I feel about SPN? At least for today anyways.
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Thank you for the tag @qprbros♥♥♥
No pressure, but just in case if you'd like to and haven't already: @midnightsilver, @quickreaver, @chiisana-sukima, @denugis, @invisibleenemy, @caranfindel, @amypond45, @blindswandive, @amberdreams1960, @sarangacomics, @zara_zee, @monicawoe, @road-rhythm, @julia-sets, and to anyone else that would like to join in and then invite others to join in with them too. May it bring everyone some harmless fun♥♥♥
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zmediaoutlet · 1 year
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hello! happy wincest weds! can you name a wincest fic you read that really just STUCK to you, and tell us why? one of those stories that just burrowed into your brain. you think about it during your quiet moments, haunted.
hi, hallo, happy wincest wednesday --
can i
cAN I?
yeah, a few, and I'm just gonna kind of ramble:
Moths on the Mirror by fleshflutter -- pretty much the only amnesia fic I need for this fandom. First of all I think it has my favorite non-con scene ever, which is great, but also I just really love how the management of information is done through Dean's super drugged POV -- how much we know what's happening around him, or not -- how much he clearly yearns for Sam's presence even if he can't quite -- fix on why. Dr Harrison smiling at Dean just -- has a special place in my heart.
also by fleshflutter, this bit of porn: No one loves me (not like you do) which seems like it's just porn qua porn, and it gets in and out of the situation with a minimum of fuss (but a maximum of jizz), but the 'twist' (such as it is) really hits. It doesn't need to be more believable than that because it's <2k but boy, does it do the job.
On the other side of the door from squishy done-unto Dean flesh!porn we've got another doozy that really sticks in my brain: in this change sought our bliss, by denugis. It's too bad about what happened after s9, because this very specific vibe of Sam and Dean just really -- makes my heart sing. He gives Sam his glitter dick. What could compare?
Relatedly, a very clever and somewhat surprising entry from the same author, Two Part Invention. I think this is the first time I saw a fic author admit that actually it was Sam who would have the harder time quitting hunting -- this is something that feels obvious to me at this point, but this fic draws out a great scenario for how it'd go. Something about Dean miserably behind the bar -- Sam skulking in and pretending like he's not desperate (oh, the things Sam wants and the things Sam wants to want) -- really put this in my top 25 fics of all time.
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jazzforthecaptain · 2 years
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Rules: Tag people you would like to know/catch up with.
Tagged by @merfilly and @under-the-silk-tree <3
Last song: Anyone can make lights, by Autumn Orange (currently on a Mighty Vibes binge to maintain my sanity)
Last movie: The Orange Years: The Nickelodeon Story
Currently reading: Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki, so much sastiel fanfic, and Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo
Tagging @ladylilithprime @denugis @awabubbles @merindab @heaven-ecologist @darkestelemental616 @avalonsilver @touchofstrange
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themegalosaurus · 3 years
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Obviously this is just Jared’s headcanon, but I think there’s something really poignant in the lesson that he thought Sam would want to pass on (Jared CE panel 22 Nov 20)
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katsidhe · 3 years
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How about Family Matters for the SPN reviews? I'd love your take on some SoullessSam.
I took a sabbatical from these for the end of s15, but now I’m Back. Here we go!
6.07 Final Thoughts
I love early season 6 as a meditation on the ways that Sam is present when he is absent, and absent when he is present. Making Sam objectively, provably Not Himself does some lovely and horrific things to drag the ways he has been forced and forces himself to fit certain molds into the light. 
We open on Sam, whom Dean has beaten bloody and unconscious and tied to a chair, for the crime of—*checks notes*—saying he feels there’s something wrong with him, and that he needs help. Boy, I sure do wonder why Sam was reticent. A mystery. 
Okay, but actually, those aren’t Dean’s reasons. Because he went way overboard. Sam was not a physical threat to him. Dean was certainly upset about the you-let-me-get-vamped thing, but he wasn’t overcome with rage over it. This was not 4.21, or 4.04, or any time that Dean has lashed out at Sam in anger or desperation or because Sam was fighting back. In fact, this wasn’t Dean lashing out at Sam at all: Dean is cold, Dean is putting down a threat. Dean beat Soulless!Sam unconscious precisely because he was not Sam enough. Dean is lashing out at the unbearable possibility that the Cage might have changed Sam, indelibly, forever, to be someone that Dean won’t recognize. And that implicit degree of judgment is utterly terrifying. 
Lies and honesty in season 6... it’s a whole thing, webs within webs, really. Cas will later be excoriated for hiding his deal with Crowley from Dean and Sam. Both Samuel and Cas are lying to Sam for the whole season about who rescued Sam, and Crowley is lying to them both in turn. But the fact that Sam literally didn’t know what was wrong with him or how he escaped Hell but was expected to confess anyway, along with the way Cas and Dean stand there discussing Sam’s status and diagnosis over his head, is an excellent illustration of the way that lies to and lies about Sam are treated. 
Also, Cas, entering the brunt of his woes post-s6: the way that Dean and Sam, and especially Dean, take his assistance and his involvement for granted. He’s been inducted into the family, and he’s glimpsed the utter loyalty demanded, but now those demands will really start to kick in. “Your problems always come first.” lmao
Soulless!Sam is remarkably cooperative! He relies on a tactic that mid-seasons Sam uses actually quite a lot to win over Dean: persuasion via self abasement. (I’m the least of any of you, I know I’m a freak, I know I  messed up)… it’s appeasement, full-throttle. “I’m sorry, Dean, I won’t do it again,” he says, with admirably well-leashed insincerity. 
It’s so obviously, delightfully performative. It makes me think about 15.17, and other times in late seasons, when Sam is relying on these tried-and-true tactics to talk Dean down. How much of that is performative? How much does Sam truly believe? How much does Sam believe in spirit but not in word? The potential for dishonesty and slant truth is fascinating. 
Soul (or lack of soul) touching!!!! Cas didn’t even heal Sam’s face first, because he knew we wanted to see him all bloody :) 
The treatment of Family also gets a good shake-over in season 6, with the introduction of the Campbells. Dean’s open hostility towards the Campbells is unsurprising; he’s threatened, he’s suspicious, and it reminds me of how Dean felt when he discovered Adam in 4.19. 
And yet Dean uses a similar tactic on Samuel as Soulless Sam is using on him—offering trust in the hope that it’s returned. “You call the plays,” he says, apparently without any sense of irony. 
Dean accuses Sam of having “no instincts.” And that’s--both true, and precisely untrue. Sam able to figure out every kind of cue this episode quickly and keenly, not by empathy, but through observation. Also ironically, Sam’s ease with following Samuel’s orders is so close to Dean’s sense of instinct, as he would have defined it pre-series! Do what Dad asks, because he’s family: you can really see Sam’s confusion when Dean isn’t on board with that. 
I think we should appreciate how baffling the back and forth in Family (tm) is for Soulless!Sam. He set himself up to follow the Rules as he understood them: save people, hunt things, obey Dad Grandad, only for the goalposts to move. 
What’s interesting here is, as Soulless says himself, he doesn’t actually need to stick around with Dean. He could have left. Reasonably, around the time that Dean gives him the “I drive the bus, I call the shots” speech, he should have been out of there. We are supposed to feel disappointment at the prospect that they broke up but I mean goddamn, who wouldn’t run from that ultimatum. The real twist is that he decides to stick it out.
I love the brief flash of genuine fear Soulless shows when Crowley threatens to throw him back into the Cage. 
Soulless!Sam is still so fundamentally his own person, even when he’s allowing himself to be led around by the nose by Dean. And yet… he’s just as compromised as Sam is. He’s got that fear of being swallowed up, by Hell or by Dean. Being twisted into something he is not, being forced to fit a shape he can’t survive: that’s the point at which he’ll fight back. But up until then? He’ll stretch himself quite agreeably to meet expectations. He’ll fit himself into the imposed mold without complaint, whether it’s Samuel’s or Dean’s, and he’ll feel a real sense of relief to have that structure. 
Unlike many other soulless people we’ve seen, Soulless!Sam doesn’t operate at all on id. Rather, he reads to me as the precise opposite: ego and superego run wild. He places too much weight on divining and acting according to what his tiny society thinks is acceptable. All his survival drive is bent towards consequence, towards the judgment of pragmatic outcomes, rather that what he’d like in the moment. He doesn’t mind hurting or subsuming himself temporarily to gain a later advantage. He feels safest when fulfilling expectations, both practical and moral. He’s built himself a scaffold to support whatever it is he knows he's become, and he uses it to defend himself against the guilt and failure and agony that he remembers, that he’s desperate not to return to. 
“This family—this is it for me now,” says Soulless!Sam to Samuel, and even though he’s lying, I think he’s telling the truth. 
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@denugis asked me 17 for the SPN ask-game:
17)   What’s an aspect of SPN people often point to as a flaw that you really enjoy?
i’ve seen a lot written lately about hbo!spn, with the assumption that this would allow spn to be bolder, darker and more committed to following through on wild premises and therefore better, but i quite like abyssal, unspoken horror that yawned beneath the bright, silly, pg-13 stuff. i think its restrictions did allow spn to do some pretty creative interpretations of fantastical things--my favourite is, of course, its mindscapes. 
i also think that spn displayed nuanced and affecting portrayals of things like psychosis, ptsd and addiction, in ways that i likely think would not have been possible if they had been given a much bigger budget and more leeway to write what the fuck they wanted. prestige shows usually have such lavish camerawork and an eye for detail but when they turn that onto mental illness they make it an uncomfortable and unhelpful spectacle. what spn did was weave it seamlessly into samndean’s characterisation--there to pick and up and explore if you cared to look.
-
( spn asks! ) 
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gaywitchtwins · 3 years
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I think the point that some of the people who are skeptical of passion about a het ship is not so much that it's a het shipper issue as that they are suspicious it isn't -- that the loudest Saileen voices are people who find it convenient for Destiel reasons, rather than people who are really invested for its own sake. How far that's the case, I don't know, and it is (I say as a Sam/Amelia shipper) extremely annoying when any side concludes that you can't possibly ship THAT unless you are doing it for some other reason than, you know, actually shipping that.
@denugis
That’s what it always comes down to, in the end - people absolutely cannot fathom the idea one would ship Sam with a woman for any other reason than to pair him off with someone so D*stiel can happen, just like people cannot fanthom the concept that not shipping D*stiel must automatically mean you ship The Other Ship.
It’s especially odd to me now, though, because, well, the show is over? I did understand the argument when the show was airing, and I’ve seen a good amount of fanwork that had Saileen as a side-ship with a main D*stiel pairing, but now that we’re over and done, Sam being with Eileen after Dean’s death changes nothing about what happens between Dean and Castiel in any way.
I just want people to stop assuming that I care about anything in this show only in regards to whether or not I think Dean should fuck a particular character, really.
I also think that it says a lot about people on both sides that they all assume shipping Sam with a woman means I care about D*stiel, when the same assumption rarely happens when I ship Sam with a male character - maybe a debate for another time, but it’s interesting, imo.
(As an observational sidenote, I’ve mostly enjoyed Saileen and Sam/Rowena (for different reasons, but not limited to how Sam was allowed his own individual relationship with both of them, rather than being filtered through Dean - at least not entirely, Dean-approving-of-Eileen aside), but the latter never caused the amount of vicious debate in fandom than the former did. I don’t quite know why?) 
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casquecest · 3 years
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12! (Don't judge me, 12 is my favorite.)
12. Draw one of your favourite characters in 15 seconds.
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ART ASK MEME!
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monicawoe · 4 years
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Fic Writer Tag Game
Tagged by the lovely @denugis and @ameliacareful Thanks!
AO3 Name: monicawoe 
Fandoms: My top 3 fandoms are Supernatural, MCU, and Venom, others include various Marvel comics and TV shows, Alien Covenant, Forever Knight, Good Omens, Hannibal, Legion (tv), Lucifer (comics), Preacher (tv), and The Mandalorian
Fic you spent the most time on: In terms of longest time spent writing? Probably Burdens Doublefold, co-written with @quickreaver just because it was such a beast of a fic: still my longest at ~67k words, and still one of my all-time faves.
The longest one from conception to actually completing the fic though was On His Head a Crown which I started thinking of while season 5 aired (back in 2009!) and then didn't write because canon went in such a different and also fascinating direction that I ended up writing more canon-adjacent fics at the time. This one veers off wildly from 5x03 with Sam as the Horseman Conquest, and was finally written last year as part of the Sam Winchester Big Bang featuring glorious art by @slytherkins. That means it actually took me a full ten years to get around to writing it. Glad I did though ; )
Fic you spent the least amount of time on:  A tie between Letters of Resignation, a cracky collection of letters written from the POV of the demons killed by Sam during My Bloody Valentine and Hunt, the first Sharp Teeth fill I ever did for the prompt Wile E. Coyote finally catches the Roadrunner.
Longest fic: Burdens Doublefold, as noted above, a 67k retelling of seasons 1 & 2 co-written with @quickreaver, aka the fic where I wrote myself into shipping Sam/Brady forever.
Shortest fic: a 100 word BuckyNat poem Mirror
Most hits: How They Make You a Weapon at 18,619 , Winter Soldier POV beginning with Bucky being captured by Hydra through and beyond the end of CA:TWS) This is the only fic I've ever written in second person but I found it worked rather well for the Winter Soldier's POV accentuating his missing sense of self.
Most kudos: Ink at 2165, Venom (movie), Venom admires Eddie's tattoos.
Most comment threads: Also How They Make You a Weapon at 133, likely largely due to the fact that this was posted as a WIP, which I don't normally do, but at the time I felt a burning need to immediately share all of my Winter Soldier Bucky thoughts!
Fave fic you wrote: Wow that's a tough one. I love so many of them for so many different reasons. If I had to pick one favorite from my top three fandoms it would be:
MCU: Bad Becomes Worse. I suspect it might be one of the best (albeit angstiest) fics I've ever written, you tell me.
Supernatural: Counteroffer and its sequel The King's Guard - I still really love the unreliable narrator POV in the first one and the unsettling tone I think I achieved there, and as for the sequel, writing Sam as physically containing all of Hell was just so damn fun.
Venom: Wedding Party (because this one was just SO MUCH FUN to write!)
Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: So many. Early on in my spn fic-writing days I ended on cliffhangers a lot because that's what the show liked to do, and I myself enjoy the open-ended nature of them, but some of them really are begging for a sequel. If there's any particular one you'd like to see a time-stamp to let me know and I’ll likely add it to the list.  
I am currently working on a sequel to my most recent Venom fic Many Thousand Feet Beneath because I'm told I can't just leave those biotech millipedes under San Francisco! (and you're right readers, you're right!) It will take me a bit longer because ::gestures at everything this year:: but I promise I'm on it!
Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning: (see longish excerpt of my WIP of Kale!Sam / King of Hell Sam under the read more tag below)
Tagging : @wetsammywinchester , @slytherkins, @brendaonao3, @rokhal, @tigerlilynoh, @hafital​
a WIP fill of a prompt for the 2020 round of Antichristmas: Sam Winchester's Birthday Prompt-fic extravaganza (still accepting prompts if you want to join the fun! fics due in May, for Sam’s birthday)
Sam stood in front of his new Mirror™ and smoothed down the front of his moisture-wicking tank top.  He could feel the increased definition in his abs, but it wasn't quite where he wanted it to be. Not yet. He was, as ever, determined to be his best self. That's what he'd built his whole career on, and he had to embody it wholly.
"Alexa, start Mirror, play Morning Pilates," Sam said, getting into starting position on his PVC-free yoga mat.
He moved through the first three exercises with ease, looking forward to the upcoming side plank with grim eagerness. He'd been getting better at the advanced version and was confident he could hold the position perfectly. When the time came he held the form without any quivering in his arm or leg, so focused on using his core to hold himself still that it took him a few seconds to realize the mirror was glitching. Sam's reflection wasn't doing a pristine side-plank at all it was just standing there. And it was wearing a suit.
A suit he was pretty sure he didn't even own.
"Alexa, restart mirror," he snapped, annoyed at this interrupt. He could hold side-plank a long time, but likely not all the way through the restart and plus he wanted to make sure his other side got an equal amount of attention, and— The mirror hadn't turned off. A bright red line was flickering down the middle. And his reflection—still wearing a black suit with a dark maroon silk shirt—was looking right at him, a crooked smile creeping across its lips. 
Unsettled, Sam pushed himself to his feet and moved to turn the damn thing off manually. He pressed himself up against the glass, reaching around the back with his left hand to find the reset button, and then the glass wriggled under him, and a hand grabbed him by the throat.
Sam choked as he was lifted two inches clear off the ground by himself. Or somebody who looked exactly like him. Except for the suit and his eyes which flashed golden-yellow just before he tossed Sam unceremoniously to the floor.
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dovesdanceatdusk · 4 years
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denugis replied to your post “Hmm.  I didn’t see a preview for 15x14 air after tonight’s episode...”
I saw a post that said SPN was going on indefinite hiatus after tonight, because the editing as well as the filming got stopped. I didn't see a link to an official source, though, so not sure where the information came from.
Ah, okay. I wasn’t sure if it was the case, but I had my suspicions. Thank you!
So, just to err on the side of caution, let’s just say Supernatural will be on a hiatus until further notice. 
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azazelsocks · 6 years
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denugis replied to your photoset “laoih: shifter!Sam | 6.02 That one time Jared and Jensen played…”
soulless!Sam and not!Sam really look like they’re about to epically hate-kiss in the third one down.
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what do you mean this isn’t what happened
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katsidhe · 3 years
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Choose your mindscape: 6.22 vs 9.1.
AHHH HELP I love them both so much. Sam’s coma forests deserve ALL the rights. 
My first instinct is that 6.22 has to win here, just because of sheer preponderance of Sams (all! sam! all! the! time!). But 9.01 has SUCH fascinating commentary on Sam’s decision-making and his relationship to the value of his own life.
In 6.22, Sam is trying to reintegrate himself: the parts of himself that have been split have to come together, messily, violently. The crux of his emotional climax here is realizing what it is that he’s got to do, and choosing to embrace these other selves so that he can get up and get out. Main!Sam isn’t actually conflicted on this front, so the conflict comes from his other selves: from their memories and opinions that are inaccessible to him. It’s his mind actually, actively at war, a question of core identity. And this gives Sam the ability to react and think against the lavishly appointed backdrop of his subconscious, and to play off the pieces of him that he’s about to build into his late-seasons personality. Soulless has his determination to save Sam/himself from the suffering of full reintegration--Sam’s pragmatic survival drive. Hell!Sam is exhausted, and he asks Sam to let him be, with the full expectation that Sam won’t listen. I love Hell!Sam’s quiet, quiet resignation--for as little screen time as he has, he fills the room with his silence, with the weight of what he knows Sam’s about to carry. 
In 9.01, in contrast, Sam isn’t actually split--he is just indecisive. He can’t choose whether he wants peace and completion or to continue to struggle. And so Sam gives roles in his head to other people in his life to argue it out with him. His sanity isn’t at risk the way it was in 6.22, but his life is, and to dramatize Sam’s fight with quasi-suicidality/acceptance of death as a DECISION rather than some external obstacle is a wonderful choice. In that sense, in some ways 9.01 is more about Sam vs. self than 6.22 is, ironically enough, because of the ways Sam’s selves are pseudo-externalized (internally, of course. Lol). 
In 9.01, Sam casts Dean as his instinct to fight for survival, and to do so violently: he doesn’t have logic or a plan or ideas, he’s just got directionless, violent determination that Sam should not die. The Dean in Sam’s head punches him to try to keep him alive, and that’s some pretty accurate commentary on Sam’s part, but. But. Sam tells him that it’s okay, that he’s decided, and Dean!Sam goes. There are a bunch of layers to how you could interpret this. Choose from: Sam can’t/thinks he can’t have peace with Dean; Sam thinks his only tether to the struggle and therefore life is Dean; Sam trusts Dean’s ability to finally let him go when he asks this desperately; Sam doesn’t trust Dean will let him go and so has to send him away by force. 
Sam casting Bobby on his other shoulder, as Sam’s acceptance of peace, and a refusal to fight the natural order, is in some ways a rare example of Sam being kind to himself. Which is extra ironic, because Bobby!Sam is the one convincing Sam to lay down and die. But he has some really nice things to say, that Sam’s leaving a legacy, that he deserves rest and to break the endless cycle of resurrections. Sam using that strength to tell his violent Dean construct that peace is something worth fighting for, that it’s what he wants, is poignant and full of dramatic irony, given what real Dean is currently up to. and then Death shows up, and then Dean!Gadreel. 
...........so that analysis was supposed to help me decide between them rather than make it harder. They’re pretty different, which might be surprising, given that they’re both coma forests! I think in the end, 6.22 does still win out on sheer excitement, and for the way it so effectively dramatized the establishment of Sam’s identity for years to come. It’s an excellent bridge between early and late seasons.  
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21 for SPN! I want everyone's thoughts on crack ships.
<3
*drags soapbox* *steps on, clears throat*
let's start with the first word: i realise that it's taken on a meaning within the context of fandom that can be divorced from its original meaning of a highly addictive and dangerous drug that's caused untold suffering, but honestly, do you really have to be swimming in dopamine to write a throwaway piece about, i don't know, jim kirk fucking harry styles? and in general, can we stop using drug terms to describe things that might be different or even mildly out there?
afaik, fandom is all about exploring every possibility, the weirder the better. if you want to write about a rare/bizarre pairing but not commit to it, just call the fic a joke. if you do want to commit to it, why the half-apologetic 'crackship' disclaimer?
*steps off soapbox*
anyway, the more you reach to connect two disparate worlds together, the better. square peg in a round hole? change that peg into a shapeshifting tentacle, i say.
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( salty asks! )
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quickreaver · 4 years
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@denugis replied to your post: Hey. Send me nice things about Sam, gang. I need a...
He has those HANDS. And he wears slutty undershirts. /shallow
Denugis, dropping truth bombs like cherry blossom leaves in the wind...
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gaywitchtwins · 3 years
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Not to mention there are in fact more than two ships for those who are into shipping. (I think wanky fandoms with great shipping variety, like HP, though they have vicious shipwars, also have some advantages in surviving their tearing each other apart phase.)
@denugis This fandom is allergic to even Sastiel, somehow, it has to be one or the other of the Big Two? And I don’t understand and I’m tired, I want to vibe, ship femslash, and complain.
I do have to admit, I am primarily annoyed with the “you hate D*estiel? you MUST be shipping W*ncest” train of thought, because it says a lot about people’s assumptions and their moral judgements. Nothing wrong with shipping, but it’s not the beginning or end for me when it comes to enjoying a show or a fandom.
(They do, definitely! I was (am) in a very small fandom that has three main ships, one big m/m ship, one canon m/f ship and one semi-canon f/f ship, and when you have little ship variety and a small fandom, you absolutely tear each other apart on a deeply personal level, and it’s very unpleasant.)
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casquecest · 4 years
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denugis replied to your post: Finally having a good and proper rain storm....
We had one crack of thunder loud enough to deeply offend all three cats. Now they have gone back to sleep.
There was one that seemed to hit pretty close to my backyard, but it was still probably a good enough distance off since the hairs on the back of my neck didn’t stand on end (and I didn’t feel anything shake).
i just wish I could have my windows open during a storm without all the rain being blown in.  My kitchen wishes for that, too.
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