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#depersonalization derealization
cryptidsandchamomile · 5 months
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Gender dysphoria + not feeling like you have a complete sense of self is the worst combo actually
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loserfail · 5 months
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a vent of sorts about living with DPDR & dissociative amnesia.
I dissociate. I depersonalize & I derealize & I lose gaps of my memory. Days go missing, dates out with family, years of my childhood. A home I lived in, once. Memories gone.
Sometimes I leave my body. Sometimes it stays empty. Nothing fills it's place.
I am alone.
I understand--I shouldn't envy for another to take my place. I shouldn't envy for the confusion and hurt that comes with it. Family members struggling with me being "off."
But don't I experience all of this already? I can only remember in any significant detail my double digits. I don't recognize the face i see in the mirror. I couldn't even remember a trip to the movie theaters. (I couldn't recognize the movie's trailer.) My friends and family don't always feel like my own. I feel like an impostor in my own life.
Is it so wrong? To just wish I wasn't alone? To wish I had someone, anyone, who understood? Who was right there with me, all along, who I can turn to, who--even if they wouldn't listen, they'd still understand? they'd know what happened, same as I? I feel far too small for my body. Far too lonely.
Is it better, when you aren't alone? If I had somebody, would it make it worth it? Would it make any difference at all?
The only way to not be alone is to not be. All I can do is erase a word.
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energysoda · 2 years
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energysoda fact of the day: I'm actually an incomprehensible being in the body if a young gay boy.
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Today’s DPDR character of the day is:
Kevin from Welcome to Nightvale!
Art is mine
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iimr3 · 2 years
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w my dissociation it's not so much that everything feels like it isn't real. it feels like im on a slightly different plane of reality. like the problem isn't with everything else, I know it's all real and there and I should be enjoying it like everyone else. but it feels like im slightly removed from everything, like im in a dream and I can touch things and move but im just separated from this world enough that I can't connect with any of it, like my body is able to transfer over but my consciousness can't get through.
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nyancrimew · 9 months
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i think the funniest thing about living such a surreal life while having dissociative disorders is that shit sometimes starts feeling so profoundly unreal that im not exactly sure how to even explain to myself anymore what my life is, like this just feels like a weird cyberpunk tv drama im watching sometimes but like no girlie this is ur life
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savemefrommymindpls · 3 months
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ladycatashtrophe · 3 months
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"Wow, you're so self-aware! It takes most people years of therapy and dedication to get to that point." Thanks, I constantly feel completely disconnected from my physical being and the material sensation of my body, brain, and spirit/soul is so overwhelming that I often have to see myself as an objective third-party instead of an integrated entity. Father son holy spirit and all that.
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funeral · 2 months
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I was disappearing, evaporating, slipping away. A dreadful sensation, like being ripped from the realm of the living, but in slow motion. As though my soul was leaking through the pores of my skin. I began wandering the streets all through the night, searching for a sign. Some proof of life. Around me, the city, misty and otherworldly, was taking on the sepia hues of an old film. If I raised my eyes, the railings of the public garden in front of which I was standing seemed to be moving on their own, turning like a magic lantern, three or four images a second, like eyelids blinking, slowly and regularly. Something inside me was still in revolt. I wanted to scream: Is anybody there?
Vanessa Springora, Consent
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vixensofdeath · 6 months
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I stay awake until I am unhealthily exhausted. it’s oddly nice and familiar to just sink into the mattress and almost become nothing.
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bl0w-m3 · 4 months
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cryptidsandchamomile · 2 months
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I know that I'm currently dissociating and that it's getting worse but I just can't stop it from happening and I hate it
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(Image ID:) a blue, green, and white graphic titled “Depersonalization versus Derealization: Exploring the differences in two dissociative symptoms” organized in two columns. The left hand column is titled “Depersonalization” with a stock icon of a head with a scribbled like for the brain. The right hand column is titled “Derealization” with a stock icon of a broken heart.
The statements in the “Depersonalization” column read: “I have trouble recognizing myself, including my reflection and aspects of my identity,” “I feel as though I don’t exist, like I’m invisible, or like someone besides me is controlling my body,” “I feel disconnected from thoughts, memories, and actions, and have a weak sense of identity,” and “I feel numb physically and emotionally when recalling my own past or painful events.”
The statements in the “Derealization” column read: “I have trouble recognizing my surroundings and environment,” “I feel as though the world around me doesn’t exist, including places and people I interact with daily,” “I feel disconnected from reality and struggle to determine what’s real and what isn’t,” and “I feel numb to the world around me, and daily life seems foggy, unreal, and fake.”
Below these columns is the word “sources:” with the following links:
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/dissociative-disorders/
https://www.isst-d.org/public-resources-home/fact-sheet-iv-what-are-the-dissociative-disorders/
https://www.dpmanual.com/articles/depersonalization-and-derealization-whats-the-difference/
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This infographic was made by us, Halberd (@dreamlandsystem). Feel free to save and share as much as you’d like. Program used: Canva. Image credits: Pixabay. This infographic explores our personal experiences with DPDR, with additional sources for further reading.
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zore014 · 5 months
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⋆2023⋆
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My OC KTTY is today’s DPDR character of the day
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eyelessdraws · 29 days
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bubble bunny series {part 2.} (2023 - 2024)
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