#deplorable. i do very much see how it could be seen as me trying to excuse my behavior but i promise it's just my habit of overexplaining

[i-me-mine]

𝙈𝙧. 𝙁𝙞𝙭 𝙞𝙩 | 𝙀𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙈𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

Header done by the loveliest soul in the world @aftermidnightwriting Thank you! 💜 Older!Eddie pic is from by the incredibly talented @eddiemunsons-missingnipple

Summary: Moving to a new home after your divorce meant having a house requiring a lot of repairs - and Eddie, who was once your crush, was the helpful staff member of the hardware store that would help you fix what was broken.

Word count: 3.3k

My Masterlist | AO3

≿━━━━ ᴹʳ. ᶠᶦˣ ᶦᵗ ━━━━≾

As you entered the hardware store for the first time, a strong smell of sawdust and paint filled your nose, and the store was quieter than you expected. At a glance, you saw some of the things you were looking for, nails, screws, a hammer… but you know that to get everything on your list, you would need help.

It shouldn’t be a problem, right? Except it was. The only employee you saw around was sitting behind the counter, discreetly eating a donut while checking what seemed to be a catalog or an order book, wearing an apron with the nametag written “Eddie”. Not that it was needed; you would recognize those curls anywhere.

He glanced up, greeting you. “Welcome to Boyd Hardware Store. How can I help you today?”

He didn’t recognize you. You felt your chest heavy, reminding yourself he had no reason to remember you.

The last time you spoke was still burned in your mind. You were just a stupid girl asking the Corroded Coffin guitarist to go with you to the Junior Prom and being rejected.

You knew that Eddie despised those school events, but you had a crush on him, and back then, it seemed like a good idea, but the outcome left a bad taste in your mouth.

You swore that no one would reject you again; you started cheerleading, and as you joined the popular circles, you and Eddie grew apart as he was seen as the town freak, and you never spoke again. You hated to admit that even over a decade later, you never got over his rejection.

“What can I do for you?” Eddie insisted, staring at you intently.

Blood flushed your cheeks as you noticed how weird you were acting, standing there silently. The back of your hand rubbed against your forehead to clean the sweat forming. While you wished you could blame the hot weather, it wasn’t even that hot - the matter was that you felt like a spotlight was focused on you, waiting for you to mess up. It was stupid to be so self-conscious, and you knew that, but learning how to deal with everything alone was not getting easier with time. Finally, you took a deep breath and opened the piece of paper that contained your shopping list, which was already crumpled from being handled so much.

“Would you help me get these, please?” you handed over the list to him, wishing that it wasn’t in such a deplorable state.

His eyes scanned the list, and he turned to get a shopping cart, nodding for you to follow him while he entered the aisles, starting to pick the items listed, occasionally asking if you had any preference, while you just answered with a shrug.

“So the happy couple is getting a house renovation…” he teased.

“Something like that,” you shyly replied, your right hand instinctively reaching out to the finger on your left hand where your wedding ring used to be. So he did remember you after all; he just didn’t know how your life had turned upside down recently.

“I never imagined I would see you here; I thought you’d hire contractors or something like that to get things done.”

“No, I’ll do it all by myself,” you replied, staring at your hands.

“I cannot picture you as a do-it-yourselfer at all; I’m afraid that’s too much for you. I’m not sure if you can make it…” he said quickly, smirking, and you felt that he was laughing at you.

‘For Christ’s sake, Eddie! I don’t even have a choice! I’m all alone and don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I don’t need you to tell me I’ll fail; my mirror already tells me that every day; thank you very much!”

You bit the inside of your cheek and shut your eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling; the feelings of rejection and insufficient filled your body and itched your legs, fueling them to run away from there. The warm touch of his hand on your shoulder stopped you, and when you opened your eyes, his chocolate button eyes filled with concern were looking straight into you.

“Hey, I-I’m sorry. I d-didn’t mean to upset you. Shit, that was awful. I was trying to make you laugh. I didn’t know.”

“That’s okay, Eddie; we don’t talk anymore. You couldn’t have known,” you murmured, embarrassed.

Eddie opened his mouth to speak but closed it again without saying anything, with a conflicted look. He finished taking your items and helped you wrap them when your fingers touched. You felt an odd exhilarating shiver run through you. You withdrew your hand, embarrassed.

“My shift ends in 15 minutes. I can give you a ride home, so you don’t ha-”

“I’d hate to be a burden, Eddie,” you interrupted him.

“You won’t be. Please, let me take you home.” he tried to infuse his ask with as much sincerity as he could and opened a big smile when you agreed.

You haven’t noticed how much you craved to have a normal conversation with another human being until being in the car with Eddie. At first, you were worried that there would be an awkward silence during the ride, but being apart for years meant that there were a lot of stories yet to be told, and the atmosphere was like you were still just two kids having fun and laughing.

The sudden car stop at your door brought you back to your reality. You were genuinely having a good time in what seemed to be forever and didn’t want it to end.

“Wanna come in? For a coffee, a beer, or something?” you wondered if he would notice that you were desperate for his company or would just think you were being polite.

“Sure!” he rejoiced, picking up your bags and following you to your door, happily entering right after you. “Wow, where are your things?” his voice echoed in the empty house.

You were so blind by your excitement of having Eddie tag along that you forgot that your house was in no condition to receive guests, with little furniture and scattered boxes.

“He left me empty-handed. I was able to get my personal stuff, but no more than that… I… I lost everything.”

Sadness sinked its claws into your heart and filled you with the pain of having wasted years of your life in a failed marriage and being left with nothing, not knowing how to move on. You could feel your body curling in as the shivers that loneliness caused you started to appear again until a wave of warmth and coziness invaded you: Eddie’s arms wrapped around you. The comforting feeling of his hand petting your hair and breaking down the walls you’ve built to appear strong.

He kissed the top of your head, whispering that it was okay, that you’re not alone right now, and you allowed yourself to cry, to be vulnerable for the first time in ages. The weight of life has been too much for you, but Eddie, in these few moments you’ve shared, seemed like a ray of sunshine chasing away the dark clouds that have populated your life for so long, and you decided to enjoy it while it lasts.

“The house is not that bad; it just needs some love, some repairs here and there… we can do it! We can go to the thrift shop later and get you some nice furniture...”

“Wait, what do you mean by ‘we’?” you interrupted him.

“You and me. I’m your neighbor; my house is just down there, so it’ll be easy to come here to help.”

“You don’t have to.” you countered without thinking.

“But I want to. If you allow me, of course.” his smile was so contagious that you just mirrored it, agreeing with it.

≿━━━━ ᴹʳ. ᶠᶦˣ ᶦᵗ ━━━━≾

For the following weeks, you threw yourself into the house repairs, with Eddie stopping by almost daily to help you with something. You were in the middle of the room, surrounded by paint cans, brushes, and drop cloths - You had decided to face the daunting task of painting the walls, but instead of being scared of it, you were both grinning from ear to ear. It was so much easier to face life having Eddie by your side!

Your fingers brushed very briefly, and you felt that current zapping again through you like a shock. You gasped involuntarily as you felt it going all the way down to somewhere deep inside you. Eddie had his sleeves rolled up and his hair in a wild bun, and you couldn’t help but notice how big his biceps were, the details of his tattoos, and how cute he looked with the small curls that the bun couldn’t hold falling on his face, imagining how it would feel to be in his arms or to touch his face, his hair…

“Hey, sweetheart, let’s get to work; I’m not painting this alone!” he chuckled while pressing play on the radio, metal being the soundtrack for your work.

You wondered if he noticed that you were daydreaming about his beauty but decided to focus on the task, brushing into the paint and spreading it across the wall. He followed you, filling the spaces you missed, you both working together in a kind of synchronicity, moving around each other, laughing as you painted, as Eddie pretended to play guitar using the paint roller, and occasionally, you had fun painting each other instead of the walls.

As the work progressed, you were more and more covered in paint, your clothes and faces splattered with colorful splotches, but you didn’t care; you were having too much fun. You danced around each other, singing along to the radio and making jokes as you painted.

When you finally finished, the room was transformed, and you were both tired but happy. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor, taking out and sorting some things still in boxes.

“What kind of filthy things you hide here, huh?” his lips quirked up in a half smile. Eddie was holding one small box with “Do not open” written on its side.

You tried to take it from him, but he was already opening it. Photos, music tapes, cards, drawings… that box contained many things from when you were young that you locked there and did not allow yourself to look back on anymore.

“Is this what I think it is? Have you kept it?” he asked while holding pieces of wood.

“Yes…” you murmured, burying your face into your hands, ashamed.

Many years ago, you were paired with Eddie during an art and craft activity in school. You created a wooden heart piece that he painted, transforming it into a flaming heart. “It will look more metal,” he said. Later he also drew the corroded coffin logo and signed it, giving it to you as a gift.

Unfortunately, you mistakenly took it as a sign that he liked you, which got you the courage to ask him to the Junior Prom. He reacted very badly, you discussed, and when you pushed him in a moment of anger, you dropped the heart, and it broke into pieces, the same pieces that he was holding now. You kept those pieces because they represented how heartbroken you were that day.

“I was so stupid… I got scared. It’s not an excuse, I know… believe me, I would change it if I could.” He put the box aside and gently tried to hold your hands, to pull them away from your face. “I lost you that day, didn’t I?”

“It’s in the past, Eddie. We were just teenagers; it doesn’t matter anymore.” you let go of his hand and stood up. “I think we both deserve a rest. Thanks for the help.” you left the room, running to your bedroom before he could see the tears in your eyes.

≿━━━━ ᴹʳ. ᶠᶦˣ ᶦᵗ ━━━━≾

You regretted later the way you reacted. There were not many house repairs left, which already made you worry that he would stop coming to see you after it was done, and you were afraid that you just gave him more reasons not to come back. But the next day, he was at your door, happy to continue helping as if nothing had happened. The final touches were done, you had lunch, and he went to complete the last fix needed.

You stood in the doorway, watching Eddie work diligently to repair a broken shelf. The way his muscles flexed while lifting the heavy tools and materials was mesmerizing for you. Despite the sweat on his brow and the dirt on his hands, he was still gorgeous.

You were captivated by how the light streamed through the window and illuminated his body. You couldn’t help but notice how his curls caught the sunlight, how much you wanted to run your hand through his hair, how his eyes sparkled with concentration, and how his smile lit up his face when he finally fixed the shelf.

You could barely remember the pain and the loneliness that you felt when you had to move to that house. But meeting Eddie again changed everything; his company made you feel happier, lighted the weight of the hardships of life, he made you feel like life could be great again.

At that moment, you felt overwhelmed with gratitude and admiration for him. You felt lucky to have him, someone who was strong, capable, kind, and caring. As he wiped his hands on a rag and turned to you with a smile, you felt your heart swell with love and appreciation.

“Thank you, Eddie,” You said, wrapping your arms around him. “You’re amazing.”

He chuckled and pulled you close, holding you tight. You then felt that strange sensation in your chest, your heart beating faster than usual, the fluttering in your stomach. You try to push the feeling aside, telling yourself it was just the excitement of seeing things done and Eddie being friendly to you.

But as he pulled away and looked at you, You saw something in his eyes that made your heart skip a beat. There was a tenderness there, a warmth that you had never noticed before or maybe have not allowed yourself to see it - and you realized that you were really in love with him.

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks. You tried hard to shield your heart against it, but it had no use. You felt torn between your feelings for him, the knowledge that he might not feel the same way, and the fact that he already broke your heart once. You wanted to tell him how you felt, to pour out your heart, hoping that he would feel the same, but you were also afraid of ruining what you have built together recently, of losing him again if he didn’t feel the same way.

“I need to go now… but would you let me take some of that lasagna home?”

You smiled and hurried to the kitchen to pack his lunch leftovers. When you came back, he was already at the front door. As you said your goodbyes, you walked back inside, and he walked away. You then stood there momentarily, noticing an addition to the repaired shelf.

The wooden heart from your childhood stood there in one piece, with a card next to it. You recognized Eddie’s handwriting, which has not improved over the years: “Here I am, trying to glue your little heart back together.”

You were not sure if he realized how much this meant to you. You felt lost and confused, afraid to be once again misinterpreting the signs. You knew you had a decision to make but didn’t know what to do. All you know is that you have never felt this way before.

≿━━━━ ᴹʳ. ᶠᶦˣ ᶦᵗ ━━━━≾

You had been nervous all day, your stomach hurting each time you thought about telling Eddie how you felt. So when he showed up in the afternoon suggesting watching a movie, you accepted it, thinking that this would give you more time to plan what to do.

It turned out that it wasn’t such a good idea. You couldn’t concentrate on the movie, feeling again that familiar electric current that seemed to happen between you two. Once in a while, you glanced in his direction, and he didn’t look relaxed either. You felt an overwhelming craving to touch him that was not fading, but you made an effort to keep your hands holding a cushion until you mustered up the courage to talk to him.

“ThankYouForTheHeart,” you said quickly, and it sounded like it was a single word.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. D-Did you like it?” he turned his body to look at you, ignoring the TV altogether.

You took a deep breath and looked up at him with a serious expression.

“Yes. But I have to tell you something.” your voice shook slightly. “I already made this mistake once; I won’t do it again.”

Eddie looked surprised and took a moment to process what you had just said. You notice the sadness in his eyes as he starts looking down. Then, he takes your hand, and you feel the warmth and connection you longed for.

“I understand…” he said softly. “I blew my chance years ago, I know… but it was worth trying again.”

“Wait, no. I have not finished” You shake your head, your eyes filling with tears. “My mistake was assuming things and never coming to talk to you about how I felt.”

You took another deep breath and raised his head so he could look at you and told him, your voice barely above a whisper, “I love you, Eddie. And I’m scared as hell about it.”

Eddie gently squeezed your hands and smiled a warm, affectionate smile that made your heart skip a beat. “I love you too. Maybe I always have; I just didn’t realize or had the courage to admit it until now.”

You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. You were afraid of confessing your feelings, but he said he loved you too. You sat silently for a moment, both lost in your thoughts and emotions.

“I don’t want to rush things if you are not ready,” he said. “But I also don’t want to hide how I feel. I care about you too much to stay away.”

Your face lit up with joy as Eddie leaned forward to kiss you. You smiled into the kiss and cupped his cheeks as you kissed him back. Unlike other kisses you had before, kissing Eddie seemed natural and comforting.

Your lips molded into each other, finding a perfect rhythm, and soon you were opening up, breathing him in, and letting him kiss you dizzy. You kissed with a tenderness and passion that you have never experienced before, feeling as if you had just discovered a love that was both new and familiar.

“You deserve more than being loved by a broken girl with a broken heart, Eddie.”

“I thought you would have noticed by now, sweetheart… If it’s broken, I can fix it.”

You then kissed him fiercely, grabbing his shirt to tug him closer. But, instead of satisfying you, the kisses had the opposite effect of increasing your need for him. He skipped his hand under your shirt and traced his fingers over your abdomen, and you felt as if you were melting into him as he held you closer and closer while exploring each inch of your body.

You didn’t want him to stop. And he didn’t.

#eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #eddie x reader #eddie munson oneshot #stranger things fic #eddie munson friends to lovers

[tenderlywicked]

thanks for the WIP game shout-out!

tell us about your TDJ/he is psychometric WIP! based off your snippets, it's a fascinating premise and i'm soooo curious about what happens!

and then tell us about another WIP of your choosing. what're you excited about? anything that's giving you trouble? what's something new you're trying in terms of writing that's working out?

I suspected you might be interested in The Devil Judge fic ;) It's still in bits and pieces, but it's growing. For those who haven't read my previous posts about it:

Kim Gaon has an uncanny ability to read a person or an object’s past through physical contact. Of course Professor Min wants Gaon to use it and pry into Judge Kang’s secrets. Except that, as it turns out, Kang Yohan is the only person Gaon can’t see through. So he has to rely on indirect evidence…which is confusing.

There will be two parts, the first one will be from Kim Gaon's point of view and the second one from Kang Yohan's. Here's a snippet from the second part :)

...In their year of separation, Yohan seems to have forgotten some things about Kim Gaon. Or maybe it’s something like elective amnesia: he has chosen to forget the most annoying parts about their interactions. Namely, Gaon’s tendency to notice the very things Yohan would rather he didn’t—and to start prying, immediately, instead of feigning polite ignorance, like most people would do.

But of course it doesn’t take Gaon long to remind Yohan about it.

Generally, Yohan wouldn’t mind being ogled when he’s mostly naked, just back from the shower with a very meager towel around his hips—he keeps himself fit, so there is something to look at. But Gaon, still in bed, propped up on his elbow, clearly stares at nothing else but a ragged scar on Yohan’s abdomen. And even points at it.

“Is it from the explosion?”

Doesn’t Gaon know it’s rude to talk of someone’s imperfections? Especially Yohan’s imperfections.

“Ah, this. No. That’s from when Sunah’s bodyguard shot me.” He tries a diversion, hoping for a change of topic: “That’s the reason I couldn’t get to the slums myself to help you. I could only make a call.”

It distracts Gaon for a moment indeed. His expression becomes stunned. “So it was you. You called Soohyun.” After a pause, he adds much more quietly, “I didn’t know you were shot.”

“It wasn’t that bad. Even the scar would have been neater, but I ripped the stitches when I was arrested.”

“Judge Kang is such a tough man. Surely, he won’t need painkillers just to renew a few stitches. But if he does, he only has to ask nicely.” Which had probably meant he should beg. He hadn’t.

Now it all seems almost funny. “It turned out to my favor, actually. They had to take me to the prison infirmary first. It would have been awkward if I bled out right after the arrest. They would prefer if <i>an accident</i> happened instead. An unknown inmate killing a judge who was maybe responsible for his sentence—it would have been a plausible explanation for my sudden and tragic death. But the visit to the infirmary saved me some time. There were only two attempts at killing me in the end. I expected more.”

He’d rather proud of how he’s handled it. He wishes Gaon could have seen both fights at Junbu Detention Center. Gaon had seemed to enjoy how he’d ripped through Jukchang’s acolytes with a baseball bat; that’s what makes Yohan want to brag. But at the same time, with distaste for himself, he recognizes this yearning for admiration…as insecurity. Look how good I am, at least at this. So don’t look at what might repel you, not now, not yet.

It’s deplorable how much he longs to keep Gaon in his bed, like this, unselfconscious of his own nudity. It had been both a surprise and not so much—how quickly things had progressed in that direction, all because of Yohan reaching out to poke at Gaon’s hand with the tips of his fingers and asking, simply to tease him, “Feel nothing still?” As it had turned out, Gaon had felt quite a lot, just not of a memory-reading kind. If he’d ever had a sexual identity crisis, along with other crises Yohan had put him through, a year of reflections must have put an end to it.

So Yohan takes advantage of it, an opportunist as he is. He will have this for as long as he can. But he knows all too well: when humans lose what they thought they had, they lose their minds too, so it’s better not to think of it as something really long-lasting.

He’s both relieved that Gaon is still unable to read his mind—and unnerved by constant anticipation because someday he might. It’s not like Yohan hasn’t warned him of every unattractive trait he has, but there are things that make you see a person differently, no matter if they are incriminating or not. He’s been crafting his image for so long, cutting off all the unbecoming edges, that he can’t be sure how Gaon sees him. Maybe as some mythical creature, something between a hero, a villain, and a vengeful demon. You can have sex with mythical creatures if you’re daring enough, but not a relationship, not really. He’s waiting for Gaon to realize that.

P.S. As for my other WIPs, I suspect I might finish my Doctor Who story first. There will be a lot of angst, as always. And some kinky stuff too :) I keep alternating between fics, though, so they progress a bit unevenly.

#the devil judge #the devil judge fanfiction #kang yohan #kim gaon #lawful husbands #he is psychometric #my wips

[a-student-out-of-time]

Oh Harumi, heya girl! Happy to see you but seems Emina was going to insult you which isn't very nice of a host to do, now is it Emina?

You.

Yeah. Me.

What the hell are you doing here?!

Oh, nothing much. I heard there was a charity event in town, decided I’m attend.

Tenmei was already taking Chiaki, so I decided to tag along with Shinji-kun.

I was happy to help out an old friend!

Yeah, and you know Haru-chan’s a nurse now, right? What kind of harm could she possibly do?

Maybe we didn’t see eye-to-eye during our time in school, but she’s-

No. I don’t want you here.

And why not? You got some grudge against me?

Oh wait, that’s right: I overheard you suggest that my daughter isn’t mine.

Well, have you seen the girl? She’s-

*Harumi pulls a folded sheet of paper out of her pocket, unfurls it and hands it to her* Here, take a look.

The hell is this?

Well, funny thing: DNA tests are actually easy to do these days, especially when you’re a nurse, like me. I decided to grab these before we arrived.

So yeah, knock it off with the adultery crap. Regardless of how she looks, Chiaki is my baby. The proof is all here.

You really went through this much trouble?

I knew you well enough that you’d try and pull something like that.

And what about you?! Reserve Course trash, you weren’t even part of Class 49!

Yeah? Neither were any of their kids or family members. And I’m family, so shouldn’t I count too?

Besides, why do you care so much? Do you just not want me here specifically?

You know exactly why I don’t want you here!

Do I? Why don’t you spell it out for me?

Because...because you’re a spiteful, obnoxious, vulgar, condescending delinquent. Always were, always will be. No amount of work in healthcare could ever possibly undo the deplorable things you said and the attitude you-

???: Umm...Nijiue-san?

Huh?

What exactly has got you so riled up?

E-Esumi-san! I...oh goodness, I, umm...

It’s alright, sir.

We’re just having some fun with her. She’s had such a long day, so she’s a bit testy.

And can you really blame her? How stressful must it have been to organize this entire event?

Someone else would’ve probably collapsed by now.

So we were just messing with her. Old school friend stuff, nothing to worry about.

Uhhh...y-yes! Exactly!

And all the guests have arrived, so I finally feel I can sit down and we can have a proper discussion.

Uhh...alright, whatever you say.

Either way, thanks for inviting me.

And who’re you, exactly, sir?

Esumi Akira, head of Esumi Papers.

You all are from Class 49, right? My daughter and I are hoping to do a piece on the event, so would it be alright if we interview some of you folks?

It’d be a pleasure!

*Emina leans close to Harumi*

If you do anything to embarrass me...

You did a pretty good job of that yourself.

C’mon, smile, Emina-chan. You’re gonna be in the paper.

That’s right. I am, not you.

*With that, Emina walks off in a huff*

Yeah. You’re gonna be big news when all this is over.

#danganronpa #nwpm #neo world program monitor #sdra2 #Super Daganronpa Another 2 #Shinji Kasai #emina nijiue #sakura fushimi #akira esumi #a student out of time #DR #All Eyes On Me arc

[7clubs]

ok not a yumimei ask this time but I’m curious to know what you think seb’s childhood was/how blaise treated her

whew. (TW for discussions/depictions of abuse [seriously tread carefully here...] brief mention of death/suicide in AA cases.)

tl:dr: Always walking around eggshells around Blaise. Awful mindgames. Might promote my fic chapter real quick actually since that delves into that a little... And I might talk about some of these more in a later chapter. But yeah...

I'd say she has some faint, nice memories of her mom, but she vanished when Seb was maybe 5-6. I think she was musically minded, though not financially powerful, maybe a teacher. Some of Seb's most vivid early memories are of sitting beside her, watching her play on their nice acoustic piano.

But after that, it was just her and Blaise.

Most of Seb's keepsakes of her mother disappeared except for that piano, only because it was too nice a statement piece to destroy. Though Seb only played it whenever he wasn't listening. (Thankfully, she acquired it after Blaise's incarceration, so she gets to play with her new family now.)

Straight off the bat I'm gonna say: I've seen a lot of people HC Blaise as having been physically abusive to Seb, burn scars, etc, in addition to the canon verbal abuse. Totally understandable, given the horrifying implications of this bit.

Which is to say that I don't see him """actually""" laying a finger on her even once. A big part of it is probably because it feels too heavy for the tone of AA, just for me personally... which is a WILD thing to think about considering the many murders and suicides and "matricide" AA DOES depict!!!

But they've always skirted around that kind of behind-closed-doors physical domestic violence (i'll be using this term in the familial/household sense rather than partner violence) as a serious theme in the games (as slapstick... not so much, unfortunately...)

Relatives do attempt to harm each other, again, see the "matricides" in the series and general Fey family drama... I don't know if this makes sense, but it's just less intimate and easier for the general viewer to stomach when these happen as part of grand schemes with robots and channeling thrown in the mix.

Seb flinching when they see Blaise approach and him taunting them when they do does Not hit that way. Seb willingly putting out the possibility that Blaise "wanted to kill her for being a nuisance" in her Logic Chess does not hit that way.

When I HC for stuff, I tend to find myself trying to match the tone of the original since I'm a boring stickler for canon. But I can't ignore how haunting that scene is, so this is the compromise I've found for myself. It's still really heavy, though.

Yeah, Blaise never ""actually"" laid a hand on her. But Seb was always, always keenly aware he could and was terrified for it. She's still terribly traumatized for it, and a big part of it is the second-guessing and guilt over how it "wasn't actually that bad."

One aspect of Blaise's deplorable character I find interesting and very characteristic of him is how he constantly dresses it up in being jokey and playful and, basically, layers of plausible deniability. It's a fucking mindgame minefield and I feel so bad for Seb.

Alongside the terrible verbal abuse and controlling her finances/life path/etc, one thing I could see him subject her to a lot is, yes, making a show of destroying stuff. Wrecking her stuff as punishment, or destruction for the sake of showing his own strength and, again, capability to hurt. I could see Blaise in a temper going on the warpath with Seb as a witness, and doing his shit apology later asking her to understand that his emotions just got the better of him, while Seb just nervously looks over to a chair he's reduced to splinters.

So that's really the undercurrent of their entire relationship: Insults and abuse dressed up as affection and jokes, constant uncertainty and tiptoeing on Seb's part because surely her pops really isn't that bad, he's provided for her all her life, she must understand how hard it is that he's a single father, it's not as if he's actually hurting her. He's scary when he's on a temper but at least it's not them. He's just got a peculiar personality, he's imperfect, but he's their pops. All the while wearing them down mentally so that they'd do anything for his favor, anything so he wouldn't actually cross the line, cling to a false sense of pride for stability. Always, always making excuses for him, to the very end. She eventually comes to terms with how awful it all is, through the 7yg.

(Re: Seb being trans... I don't think she'd describe her journey with the like "trapped-in-a-boy's-body but i was always a girl" narrative, more the "I was a boy for a long while and now I'm a woman" path of transness. She did hold back on some impulses though, wanting to experiment w/ presentation as a teen, because she knew that would Not go over well with Blaise. )

Anyway in the AAI3/AA7 I imagine in my brain the very first victim is Blaise Debeste. world is abundant, goodnight <33

#this is like really long but i go on a wild tangent on like. my perceived tone of the AA franchise w/ regards to this. #headcanon #abuse #grovey rambling #long post

[thirstyforlulu]

Yandere Hellsing x Reader HCs? Including Millennium

Integra:

She’s a very possessive yandere

With her money and power, she has the means to get her hands on you

She’s good at playing cool, you won’t catch on for a while

Sure you notice that she never sends you on missions and that she’s always having you work near her office, but that’s just her being a good friend

When she decides to approach you romantically, she’s very forward

Around you she’s a touch starved animal, unlike her usual put together appearance

If you deny her feelings or try to run, get ready because she’s not giving up that easily

She’ll pull whatever strings she has to in order to find you

She’ll spend thousands bribing people or tracking you

Once she knows where you are, she’ll send Alucard to collect you

When she has you she’s very loving

She’ll want to constantly be touching you in some way

Usually that means sitting beside her while she works at her desk

As long as you’re good, she’ll let you wander the entirety of the manor

Since you tried to run she’s added all sorts of security measures so you can’t get out

Act up though and she will chain you to the wall in her office

“Y/N, your behavior has been deplorable lately and needs correcting.

Don’t give me those sad eyes, this is all your fault.”

Walter:

He’s a sneaky yandere

Very observant, he’ll learn your patterns and preferences

At the start he’ll leave you gifts like your favorite food or pretty flowers

He uses it as an excuse to get closer to you

He’s always offering to do favors for you, secretly lowering your defenses around him

He’s not the type to take anything from you but he will take the time to appreciate them

If you let him clean your room he’ll likely pause to sniff some clothes

You notice how much he knows about you but you just think he’s very observant

You don’t realize it’s due to his obsession

He’s the type to take more precautions

If you deny his advances he’ll lock you up somewhere, probably his room

He’ll get chains and a cage if necessary

If you really act up, he’ll lock you in the basement

The way you cling to him in fear after spending all night in the dark is addictive

His wires are always nearby

If you try to run you’ll only get a few steps out the door before the wires wrap you up and pull you back

He does his best not to hurt you, but if you struggle too much, a few cuts are inevitable

Seras:

She’s a very clingy yandere

She’ll want you on every mission she goes on

When you have free time she’ll take you out into the area nearby for some quality time

If you ever push her away, she gets angry

She’ll pout like a child then force her way into whatever it is you’re doing

At the time, she’ll act like it’s just a coincidence and you might even believe her

You’re not getting rid of her so easily

She’s also a very sweet yandere

If she feels she’s hurt your feelings she’ll go out of her way to get you presents or treat you nicely

Until you say you forgive her, she won’t stop pampering you

No one else is allowed near you, not even Integra

She’ll make excuses and do whatever it takes to keep you to herself

She would never kidnap you or lock you up because she hates to see you sad, but her “loving” behavior will be a trap in itself

Don’t forget that despite how cute she is, she’s still a powerful monster that can and will do what it takes to keep you

If that means making you one of her familiars then so be it

Alucard:

He’s a terrifying yandere

He can control you and the people around you, holding you captive

You’re not a stupid person, you know how easily he could end your life, so you tend to let it all happen

On the plus side, he’s very passionate and often brings you gifts

He’s such a smooth talker you’ll end up forgetting the terrifying threats he’s made in the past

Anyone who flirts with you will mysteriously disappear

Anyone who hurts you will turn up days later torn to shreds in a ditch

He would never do anything to hurt you, but that doesn’t stop him from making threats

“I could tear you apart just like that man from last week. I would love to hear your moans of anguish, but I’d prefer moans of pleasure.”

When you act out he manhandles you

He’ll press you against a wall and bite your neck to remind you of your place

He enjoys when you become complicit, but he likes when you’re occasionally act out

It gives him an excuse to punish you, which he always loves

After that, you’ll think twice before disobeying him

Millenium:

Jan:

Bro this man is already wild

When he sets his sights on you it’s go time

He won’t let anyone else near you or get to know you, not even his brother

He’ll threaten people, meeting them after work for overstepping their boundaries

He’s very touchy, like he’s trying to leave his scent all over you

Out in public, he’ll hang on you, showing others that you’re already taken

He’ll growl at people that look at you too long when passing by

He flicks a lot of people off, all the time but more so when he’s around you

He’s paranoid and doesn’t like anyone else around you, even friends

Clearly he’s a fan of body modification so if he can convince you he’ll want to get some kind of matching piercing/tattoo

If you get it, he’ll pay special attention to it any time you cuddle, running his fingers over it countless times

He can be very intense so he might yell at you, but when he sees the hurt look in your eyes he backs off

In his own weird way, he loves you and doesn’t want to see you hurting

But if he has to hurt you to keep you then so be it

Luke:

He’s not as subtle as he thinks he is

He tries to play it cool, but if someone tries to touch you he will blatantly smack their hand away

Always has an excuse to be around you and if he doesn’t, he’ll find one

He’s not as touchy as Jan, but he does like to hold your hand

You’ll feel his pinky brush against you before his hand completely envelops yours

His grip tightens when he sees you looking at others

Your attention is something he so desperately craves

He gives you every moment of his time and he wants you to do the same

If you’re ever in danger he’s there before anyone else even knows

It helps that he was already watching you

Be ready to compensate him

At first he’s just worried about you, but then once he knows you’re alright, he’ll start making demands

“You owe me for coming to your rescue dear. Or would you like me to toss you back? Maybe then you’ll beg me in such a cute way.”

Rip:

She does not care what other people think

She’ll ruin relationships to get closer to you

She’ll endanger her own job if it keeps you two apart

Doing favors is how she gets closer to you

Anytime you need something she’s there and ready to go

She’d leave in the middle of a mission if she hears you need help

Anyone causing you problems will be slaughtered and presented to you as a gift

“See y/n, I took off their heads just for you.”

She can get very aggressive especially if she thinks you’re denying her advances

She won’t hurt you, beyond a little pinch or so, but she’ll make threats

She’s very sadistic and would be willing to lock you up

Having you as a pet is actually an attractive idea to her

She’ll take good care of you wherever you’re locked up, but she won’t allow many freedoms

“Look at my pretty pet. How lucky am I.”

The Captain:

He’s like a pet, always following you around

He’ll growl at people he doesn’t like around you

His arms are always around you, keeping you close

No one else is allowed to tend to you after missions

When he’s patching you up, he’ll run his hands along your arms and legs, lovingly caressing your limbs

He’ll use that as an excuse to stay around you

Popping in to “check on you” at all hours

You won’t even know he’s come in until he’s sitting on the edge of your bed

He’s the type the would sit there for a moment watching you breathe

If he can, he’ll try to get you to be his assistant

If he can convince the higher ups that he needs one, he’ll do whatever he can

Then he’ll be around you even when he works and will be able to protect you

No one on the battlefield will be able to even get close to you

He’ll ignore his own tasks to protect you

He’s extremely loyal and obsessive

The Doctor

Oh man it is terrifying when he has his eye on someone

He views it like just another experiment, wanting to test and push you

He’ll have you coming to him for “examinations” all the time

He’d likely put a bug on you

Suddenly he knows things you don’t remember telling him, but you can’t prove anything

People you like start disappearing, people you had no idea he knew about

If he suspects you’re starting to catch on and trying to get away, he’ll start drugging you

Then you’ll have to come to him if you’re going to get better

While he’s treating you, he’ll trick you mentally manipulating you to grow closer to him

You’re going to think so highly of him, forgetting all the red flags you’d seen before

He is absolutely a gas lighter but he’s damn good at it

Even if you have experience with this stuff you won’t pick up on it

It’s a game of cat and mouse with him

The Major

He is not subtle and does not care

Your needs or emotions don’t matter to him

If you don’t respond well to his advances he will make terrible threats

If that doesn’t work he’ll take it a step further, allowing the ghouls to get close to taking a bite out of you

Torture is the next step

He doesn’t care about your mood, he has to have you

“Y/N, why do you fight so hard when you know I’m just going to hurt you again?”

He’ll want to do most of it by hand, but if he needs to he will get the others involved

“Would you like me to make a spectacle out of you? I think the others would enjoy that.”

Behave and he won’t hurt you

If he gets mad enough he’ll remove your arms and legs

You’ll become his good little doll, always on display for him

Like a bird in a cage, you’re his favorite display item

#yandere #yandere behavior #integra hellsing x reader #integra x reader #walter x reader #walter c dornez x reader #seras x reader #seras victoria x reader #alucard x reader #jan valentine x reader #jan x reader #luke valentine x reader #luke x reader #rip van winkle x reader #rip x reader #the captain x reader #the doctor x reader #the major x reader

[kurtskrow]

⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗞𝗦

⠀ ⠀ ⠀> Tap for better quality

⠀ ⠀ ⠀> Episode: Hope Falls

- Like I promised in my last post. I’d say why I have a love hate relationship with this episode. So yeah.

Another thing I love about this episode is that we get to learn more about Frank, and we get to see that Scott does indeed have a heart, and that he does learn from his mistakes. For those who don't know, at the beginning of the show. Scott is supposed to be seen as a stone cold stoner who just likes getting high, and has no heart. But past episode 3, we get to learn Scott does have a heart. This episode, Hope Falls, shows us that he does have a heart, and feels bad.

When Scott learns about Franks son, and that Franks son overdosed and died. When Frank says. "I never got to say goodbye." You can see how hurt Scott is. He looks down at the ground, speechless, he feels some sort of guilt, then looks back at Frank to listen to him.

This episode shows you that even though the Cliff Hangers are fucked in the head, they still have a moral compass, they still have pride, and honor. Even though they've seen and experienced things a child should never go through, they still have some sort of direction. Even Scott, the most fucked up (mentally) he still has something, he still has his moral compass. That is something I admire.

This episode shows you that even though the Cliff Hangers are fucked in the head, they still have a moral compass, they still have pride, and honor. Even though they've seen and experienced things a child should never go through, they still have some sort of direction. Even Scott, the most fucked up (mentally) he still has something, he still has his moral compass. That is something I admire.

This episode shows you that even though the Cliff Hangers are fucked in the head, they still have a moral compass, they still have pride, and honor. Even though they've seen and experienced things a child should never go through, they still have some sort of direction. Even Scott, the most fucked up (mentally) he still has something, he still has his moral compass. That is something I admire.

We learn that everyone in Horizon at one point has problems. Even the teachers and counselors have problems. Frank, the head master, the principle, even he has problems. He couldn't save his son, and he has some sort of guilt because his son, Tommy I believe, couldn't be saved.

We learn that everyone in Horizon at one point has problems. Even the teachers and counselors have problems. Frank, the head master, the principle, even he has problems. He couldn't save his son, and he has some sort of guilt because his son, Tommy I believe, couldn't be saved.

Another thing I love about this episode. This may sound fucked up. But I love how there is this kid who OD's, and tries to off himself by overdosing. I absolutely LOVE this. Not because he tried to off himself, but rather because of how real it is. Often times when kids are sent off to a ranch, such as Horizon, so they can get better. Instead of wanting to get better, they try to off themselves. This is the most real part of Higher Ground. The fact that kids will always try to off themselves.

This kid doesn't wanna be at Horizon, not to mention he hates his home, his life, and most importantly, himself. Due to this, he tries to off himself at the ranch. A ranch where nobody knows him, a ranch he knows damn well where nobody will miss him, so he tries to off himself.

I like that, it's so realistic, I just- man, I love it so much. Not to mention the kid looks like a Chinese knock-off of Scott.

Another part I liked was when Scott at the end apologizes to the kids mother, he clearly doesn't know what to say. But, you can tell he does feel bad for her, so he apologizes to her. It's a little detail of Scott that I like. Shows you, he does have a good heart deep down.

Also the way Scott rejects Shelby is just chefs kiss.

I love how Scott chops wood at the wood station. Later in the season it’s basically established that chopping wood is something Scott just does. The guy is always chopping wood. In episode 8- it’s like 5AM, and this boy is over here finding some wood to chop. It’s great. He just owns the wood station and I love it.

Now for the stuff I didn't like:

SHELBY. I hate Shelby in this episode. I like her most of the times cause she does a great job at being a special bitchy bitch. But my GOD was she incomprehensible. She tries so hard to hook up with Scott to the point where it is just unbearable to watch.

Now I'm not a smart man myself but believe me when I say, I understand what "no, I don't wanna hook up with you." means. And for some reason, Shelby doesn't understand what, "you're a skank." means.

The most memorable thing about Shelby in this episode, is her purposefully provoking Scott because he tells her, "I quit smoking." Shelby gets pissed at Scott, because he says, "I quit smoking." And it is BEYOND retarded. She literally goes up to his face and is like. "Oh yeah? Well when I lived in the streets you took what you could."

As someone who raised in a ghetto ass area. Yes, in the streets or the hood, you would take whatever you could get, but, you had the opportunity to say no. Nobody forced me to do meth, heroin, cocaine, none of that shit when I was in California. They would offer it yeah, but they wouldn't force it upon me. When I would reject, they'd leave me alone, they wouldn't pressure me for shit. So the fact that Shelby says this, is so stupid to me, because if you say no, TRUST ME, they will leave you alone. Trainspotting is a great movie that displays this. None of the drug addicts force their non-druggie friend to do drugs. In fact, it was all his choice to do drugs. Which is exactly what happens 8 times out of 10.

People always act like most drug dealers will pressure you into taking drugs, or smoking, when the reality is, they won't. They really won't. You say no, to your druggie friends, or to a drug dealer, they will leave you alone. You know how I know this? Because every time I rejected an offer to do some sort of drug, they would leave me alone right after. So Shelby saying this, IS STUPID beyond belief.

Another thing I hate, is how Shelby doesn't understand the words, "No." because she borderline harasses Scott from episode 1-9. She never leaves him alone. She's always like. "Scott, I want your dick."

Scott goes. "Uh... no thanks."

Shelby proceeds to get mad. And it's so stupid. Yes, Scott said no, too bad. He doesn't want you, move on. BUT SHE DOESN'T. She doesn't move on, she continues and continues and continues, even though he says no multiple times. Scott even acknowledges that Shelby is no good for him, he basically tells her. "You're no good for me, Juliette is better, she's loyal, she loves me, and I love her." But Shelby pursues him, she still tries to make him cheat on Juliette.

I hate this so much. He said no. HE LITERALLY TELLS HER NO, and for some reason, she STILL tries to get him to cheat on Juliette. I hate it so much. But Scott, our loyal boyo, rejects her every time.

And so, Shelby, tries her best to make Scott doubt Juliette. What sucks is that she succeeds because she says. "Auggie was all up in Juliette's pants." This works, and Scott starts doubting his relationship with Juliette and it sucks ass, because, she was also loyal to Scott and was very healthy for him, but whatever I guess. I don't fuckin know.

Another thing I hate about this episode is Isaac's mother. Her acting is just deplorable. It's atrocious, it is genuinely hard to watch her acting. It's awful. It is downright awful. It is hard to watch, it really is. I'm not kidding. So, that is one thing I despise about this episode.

The other thing I hate, is I DON'T KNOW IF SCOTT IS DATING JULIETTE. This is the one fucking problem with Juliette and Scott. It is never established when these two officially started going out. Yes, in Episode 2, Juliette gently pecks Scott's lips, and it makes him shy, and that's it. That's literally it. You don't ACTUALLY know that's when they started going out, but that's when it's established they had a thing for each other.

Shelby talks about how Scott only has Juliette but- you're still confused if they're dating or not. You're always left assuming. "Are these two dating? Or are they actually friends with benefits?" I've watched this show 37 times now, and I STILL for the life of me, do not know when Scott and Juliette started dating. And this episode, doesn't help in the slightest.

Instead, this episode makes you assume that they started going out in the episode prior, but in the episode prior, they weren't really talking, so in this episode, you are assuming they are a thing, but you still don't know beCAUSE, IT ISN'T. FUCKING. ESTABLISHED.

Yes, Scott did fight Auggie because Auggie kissed Juliette. But if you loved a girl, and some other fuck came in, and kissed the girl you loved, you would be pissed and tell them fuck off cause you want that girl and you don't want competition.

You know when they break up but you don't know when they officially started dating, and it sucks ass cheeks.

My rating for this episode: 8/10.

8 because the plot is good. But, 1.5 is taken away due to Shelby, and the other .5 is because of all the other stuff. That's it, bye.

#icons #higher ground #higher ground hayden christensen #higher ground icons #hayden christensen #hayden christensen icons #scott barringer icons #scott barringer #higher ground scott icons #higher ground scott barringer icons #2000 higher ground icons #2000 higher ground

[jadedxrealityw]

-Amortentia- Blaise Zabini x Female Reader

   ☼-☪-☼

   Kody: BLAISEEEEEEE DADDY- im sorry. yeah yeah i’m changing the canonical storyline- cry about it. I’m also fully aware  Amortentia does not work like this lmao. 

   Request: you can make the summary short and less revealing for more fun hehe. Also it's totally up to you, dear! Only if you feel comfortable with it and no pressure! I hope you had a great weekend and drink more water ily <3 - 💐

   House: Hufflepuff

   Possible Triggers / Warnings: Slight slut shaming in the beginning, Draco being a little shit, 

   ☼-☪-☼

   you had been alone most of your life with your parents being on constant business trips from the ministry that would last for months on end. You were practically raised by your nanny, but she couldn’t teach you everything. You became socially awkward.

   you never had any friends back at home which meant you had no experience  communicating with people your age. You were walking awkwardness basically. It came at no surprise when you were sorted into Hufflepuff, even though both your parents were Slytherins- they weren’t disappointed in you though.

   you had just managed to scramble by through your first four years of school. Four long years without any friends, but you didn’t mind. You could get by just by yourself. You were a strong independent woman and knew how to get yourself out of sticky situations. 

   unless it was stuck up Hufflepuff’s- then you were screwed 

   one fine day in your fourth year you were heading to the quidditch field so you could go watch the game. Slytherin against Hufflepuff. They were both tied at two wins against each other so you were eager to see who would win. You wore a brown buttoned sweater with a nice pear of tan overalls. 

   the fallen leaves under your foot made a satisfying crack noise as you walked along the field. The cheers and other various sounds of students were definitely drawing nearer. You popped another flavour bean into your mouth when a harsh push came to your shoulder, causing the box of flavour beans to fall.

   you watched as they spilled out onto the grass with a look of solemn in your eyes “Dang- that was my last box” you mumble before a couple of snickers were heard in front of you. You look up to see three students wearing their regular Hufflepuff robes with there own casual clothes underneath.

   “Drop something?” one asked. A girl with light brown bobbed hair and green eyes spoke. You nod once “Uh yeah, just my flavour beans. I- uh i can just buy new ones” you spoke, already starting to clam up “Your a hufflepuff aren’t you? Why aren’t you wearing yellow?” the girl asked somewhat accusingly. 

   alert alert. Confrontation detected. Activate escape protocol 17B

   you didn’t answer and went to walk past them when another one of the three, a blond boy with blue eyes pushed you back to where you were standing. Shit. You fold your arms over your chest, looking at the ground “Your one of those Slytherin groupies are you, a house traitor?” the brown haired girl accused. 

   you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. This made the two Hufflepuffs more annoyed “What? Cant speak? Let me guess, your like those Draco fangirls. Sweetie. Your def not pretty enough for him” she adds, making the boy aside her laugh. 

   did she just say def? Have you ever even talked to Draco Malfoy? Not the time to be thinking about that. “I uh-” before you could speak anymore the girl held up her hand “Don’t even try to defend yourself, Slut” you went wide eyed. No one has ever been so nasty to you.

   “I’ve never seen two Hufflepuffs go at one of their own, before” a girls laugh came from behind you. She had black shoulder length hair and bangs with brown eyes. Pansy Parkinson. In front of her was two boys dressed in Slytherin Quidditch uniforms. 

   You quickly identify the platinum blond boy with pale skin as Draco Malfoy. The hair was always a dead give away and the other boy was slightly taller then him with dark skin. He was very handsome for a boy your age. What was his name again? Oh! Blaise- Blaise Zabini. 

   “For Hufflepuff’s you two are quite nasty” Draco spoke, a grin playing on his lips. The boy Hufflepuff rolled his eyes “Yeah whatever Malfoy, what’re you going to do. Tell your father?” that struck a nerve in the young Malfoy as he went to lunge at them until Blaise put a arm out, blocking Draco.

   “Now, Now. Let’s not get physical. You see, me and my fellow housemates overheard your very deplorable conversation with this what seems like sweet girl. Honestly, how can you bully someone who can’t even get a word in?” Blaise spoke in such a proper way that you almost couldn’t tell he was insulting them.

   the girl and boy were silent as he spoke for a while until the girl spoke up once more “Oh so she’s one of your play things, Zabini?” she questions with a smug look. Blaise’s neutral expression switched into a disgusted one “I don’t have play things. I actually have respect for other woman”

   Blaise didn’t let them get another word in before he stepped in front of you “Are you alright? They didn’t hurt you did they?” he asked, using his hand to lift your chin and inspect your face. Touching- “No” you say in a meek voice. He nods once with a small smile “Good, now let’s go”

   you tilt your head sto side. Go? “Um- go where?” you ask. Blaise gestures towards the quidditch field “The game of course. Me and Malfoy here have to get ready and you and Pansy will meet Theo in the Slytherin bleachers to watch the game of course.” as he spoke, Pansy skipped to your side, linking arms.

   “Yeah! We can watch them make fools of themselves. Now lets go new friend!” Pansy said excitedly before practically dragged you towards the bleachers, leaving Draco and Blaise alone. The young Malfoy turned towards Blaise with a puzzled look “Since when did you involve yourself with Hufflepuffs?”

   Blaise rolled his eyes before walking off, not answering his housemate

    ☼-☪-☼

   7th year

   after that day you became part of Blaise’s friend group. He’d talk to you as much as he talked to Theo, Pans, or Draco. Ask you how your day was, invite you to sit with him at lunch and even sneak you into the Slytherin house at times. 

   some people found it strange. A slytherin spending so much time with a Hufflepuff, but as stated Blaise didn’t care much of opinions hat didn’t come from his friends, but all his friends adored you. Case closed. It was around the end of sixth year is when your feelings changed from platonic to romantic.

   you no longer saw him as your best friend that saved you from a bunch of nasty Hufflepuff’s all those years ago. You now saw him as someone you wanted to be with, all the time. To hold his hand, have him hold you, for him to just call you his. You fell hard. 

   but there was this fear, this fear that it would ruin everything you had with him. It was too great a risk, so like any normal person. You kept quiet as mouse and refused to let anyone know your feelings. Except for Pansy of course, but she found out on her own. Then told Draco, who told Theo.

   everyone knew except Blaise actually

   it was lunch and the Slytherins were waiting for you to arrive, Draco cleared his throat, getting the attention of the rest of them “I have a terribly good idea” he says, making Blaise look at him curiously “And that is?” he asked, leaning in to here what his housemate had to say. 

   Draco reaches into robe and pulls out a pink heart shaped bottle. “What in the hell? Why do you have a love potion?” Pansy asked with a amused chuckle. “Well- Y/n confessed to me that she had a crush on someone, but was too afraid to tell them. So i’m going to slip this into her drink to move her along”

   Pansy and Theo both look at each other knowingly. They know full well that little ferret was lying. Y/n told Pansy first. What was he playing at? “That is so wrong on so many levels, Malfoy” Blaise spoke up first, looking at him in distaste. 

   “Hey! She told me that she wished she was more confident so she could tell this person there feelings. I’m being a good friend!” Draco retorted, another lie. Blaise face drops a little “Who even is this person she’s confessing to. It better not be some low life Gryffindor” Blaise grumbles.

   Pansy’s eyebrow wiggles “Is that jealousy i here, Zabini?” she teases. Blaise rolls his eyes before looking back at his plate “Y/n can like whoever she want’s” he grumbles. “Really? ‘Cause your stabbing your steak” Pansy asked, leaning over across the table. 

   Blaise was indeed repeating jabbing at his food with his fork “I will use the slug-vomiting charm on you” he spoke, gritting his teeth. Pansy just smiled innocently “Cursing Pan’s i see” a voice came from behind him. Blaise turned his head around to see you, holding a textbook “Sorry i was late, got caught up”

   you take a seat next to Blaise, seeing a full plate and water put out for you “Thanks for saving me some food?” you say with a small smile. “I did actually, because i’m your favorite” Draco gives you a sweet smile, one that you laugh nervously at “Uh- sure?” you reply. 

       ☼-☪-☼

   once finished your food, you reached for the cup of water and took a sip. As you go and place it down you notice that they were all staring at you? “What?” you ask and Theo gives you a smile “Feel any different?” he asked. You purse your lips together and slowly shake your head “No, i feel alright”

   Draco huffs and places his head in his hand. You look over at Blaise who had went back to eating his food. You notice something on the corner of his mouth and grab the napkin on your table. Reaching up you wipe away the food on the corner of his mouth. 

   Blaise flinches and grabs your hand “What’re you doing?” he asked, gazing down at you. You snicker a bit at his reaction and gently tug your arm out of his grip “You had something on your mouth, didn’t want it to mess up your handsome face” you reply.

   Pansy chokes on her water, which turns into a coughing fit. Blaise stared at you blankly, just blinking mindlessly while Draco punched the air. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   now, mind you. A typical love potion last up to 24 hours, but Draco being the idiot he was accidently poured half the bottle into your drink. So it was safe to say it was going to last more than a day. “Your a bloody fool, Malfoy!” Blaise exclaims. 

   “I didn’t mean to pour half of it! Someone bumped into me!” Draco retorts while both Theo and Pansy eat a box of flavour beans they were sharing, just casually watching the chaos unfold. “That my be true, but you still served it to her! You took advantage of her vulnerability!” Blaise shouts back.

   Draco’s face fell, yeah could be a little prick sometimes, but he also cared about you deeply. He couldn’t tell Blaise he was your crush, but he could try to make it right. “I’ll make the antidote, but it will be a couple days” Blaise nods “Sorry for shouting” he says. Draco nods once before leaving the hallway.

   “Hey guys” jeez- you just snuck up on people. Blaise steps towards you “Shouldn’t you be heading to charms class?” he asked, crossing his arms “What? Do you have her schedule memorized?” Pansy questions with a small laugh. 

   Blaise exhales deeply “I have a copy of it actually. Anyway-” he says and turns his attention back to you. “What do you need?” he asks, his tone changing to a more calm one. “Can you walk me to class?” you ask. Blaise raises a brow “Why?” he asked, not that he would have a problem.

   “I want to spend more time with you” you spoke very nonchalantly. You almost wondered how you even spoke those words yourself. Blaise looks stunned for a moment, before a smile made a way to his face. This was just the potion talking, you were spewing nonsense he thought   “As do i? Let’s get going shall we”

   you smile brightly and grab his a=hand, interlocking your fingers. Blaise gives you a small nod before covering his mouth with his hands. Both Pansy and Theo watch them walk away “5 galleons Blaise confesses to Y/n by the end of this whole ordeal” Pansy points, chewing on a flavour bean. 

   Theo watched along her and nods “Your on, 10 galleons they both end up being friends again”

    ☼-☪-☼

   it has been TWO days and Draco still hasn’t made the antidote. He claimed it was because he had to gather all the supplies without Snape around, which was probably true. Blaise had started to kind of- sort of- maybe- like the attention you were giving him. 

   oh yeah- surprise! Blaise had had a crush on you even longer then you did, he just knew how to keep his composure around you. It was easy for him, but it didn’t make him any less terrified of what would happen if those feelings were revealed. 

   currently, you were both sitting in the courtyard, studying on a bench, your choice. “I think that’s enough for the day. I’m surprised you asked me for my help. You usually never ask me for any academic advice” Blaise spoke, knowing full well why she asked him. The love potion. 

   you look up at him, closing the textbook in your hands “Well, you and Draco are the smartest people i know, but i prefer your company more” you smile lightly as you begin to cram the textbook into your bag. Blaise feels his heartbeat pick up once again. 

   It’s just the love potion. It’s just the love potion. It’s just the love potion. Think rationally Zabini! “I’m glad to hear that” he nods once. You both stand up from the bench and the curiosity gets the better of him. “So, what people have you’ve been talking too the past couple days?”

   he wanted to know if you had actually been talking to your crush. So he could murder them talk to them man to man/woman. You shrug your shoulders “Just you guys, who else would i be talking to?” you spoke “Oh! i have an exam to take in potions! i’ll see you at dinner!”

   you spoke with haste before leaning up to kiss his cheek “Bye Blaise!” and with that you ran off towards the entrance. Blaise held up his hand for a moment before exhaling “She’s- been only- talking to us? Who the hell is her crush then?” he thought aloud before picking up his things and walking away.

   both Pansy and Theo pop up from behind the bushes “For a genius student, he sure is a idiot” Pansy spoke, eating the last bit of her cauldron cake. Theo nods “I thought Draco would be done with the antidote already?” he says. Pansy grinned evilly.

    “Yeah...he should, but i keep hiding the ingredients. Blaise needs more time to realize she’s into him” she spoke, wiping her mouth off. Theo gasps and wacks her shoulder “That’s cheating! and you ate my last cauldron cake!” he sighs, crossing his arms. 

    “Yeah? Cry about it Nott”  

    ☼-☪-☼

   “It’s done!” a loud shout came from the dorm hallways of the Slytherin house towards the common room. Draco came running towards them, panting like a dog. “What’s done?” Pansy asked, sitting next to Theo eating a bowl of popcorn. No- they don’t know where she got it either. 

   “The antidote for Y/n’s love potion. It took so long because i kept misplacing everything. All we need to do is sneak it into her drink at dinner tonight” he explains. Blaise shot up from the loveseat he was sat on reading a book and snatched the vile from Draco. “Hey! What the hell?!”

   “I’m not lying to Y/n anymore then i have to. I’ll catch up with you guys later” Blaise said before walking out the portrait door. “Alright that’s our cue!” Pansy and Theo stood up “What’re you guys doing?” Draco asked with a confused expression on his face. 

   “Spying on Blaise and Y/n to make sure they confess to each other” Theo explains, walking away with Pansy. Draco blinked a couple times before shaking his head “Guys that is such an invasion of there privacy and trust, they are our friends and we should be respectful......i’m coming with you”

   bestie things i guess

    ☼-☪-☼

   Blaise had just made it out the dungeons when he bumped into someone “Watch where your- oh Y/n. Why are you down here?” he asked. You chuckle and push away from him “I was going to see if Pansy wanted to have another sleepover, why are you out here? Dinner hasn’t started yet”

   Blaise thinks of his next words before holding up the vile “I need you to drink this Y/n”

   “What why?”

   “Just do it”

   “But-”

   “If you trust me you will. I would never harm you”

   “...Okay”

   you grab the vile from his hand and pop the cork off. You look at the vile then Blaise who nods once. Exhaling, you pour the strange liquid down your throat, twinging at the unfamiliar taste. You feel almost a swirl around your chest before you look at Blaise again “What was that?”

   Blaise places his hands on your shoulders, your face heating up slightly. Once again you were back being unnerved by this guy, but you didn’t notice “How do you feel about me Y/n?” he asked, making your E/c eyes widen a bit. “I’m sorry- come again?”

   he sighs deeply and looks you in the eye. Ooo eye contact, scary. “the same i did yesterday?” you say vaguely. because who the hell asks that kind of question. Blaise lets go of your shoulders and rubs his face with his his hands. He was frustrated. “Y/n, how do you feel about me?”

   you shrink at his gaze. The first thought that ran through your mind was that Pansy had snitched to him that you were in love with him “I’m so sorry- i didn’t want to tell you because i thought you would think i was weird!” you spurt out, confusing Blaise just a tad more. 

   “What are you talking about!?”

   “Pansy told you about my crush on you didn’t she!?”

   “Your what!?”

   oh if the world could swallow you whole now “Oh merlin- i thought that’s what she told you!” you shout before trying to activate escape protocol 17B again and walk away. Blaise almost thought about letting you leave but you liked him! he was terrified you didn’t! but you do! So, why would he let you leave!?

   he reaches back and grabs your arm, stopping you from walking any further “I get it. You don’t want to be friends anymore” you spoke sadly. Blaise stepped towards you, but you looked down at your feet instead of him “Your right, i don’t want to be friends anymore Y/n”

   you felt your heart shatter. That was until one of his long arms wrapped around your waist and other pointed your chin up to look at him “I want you to be mine and i, yours” he spoke, a slight grin on his lips. Say what now? did Blaise Zabini just confess to you?

   “Oh...”

   “Is that all you have to say to that? I just spilled my heart out to you”

   “What- what should i say?”

   “Yes?...No?”

   “Oh! yes- yes. Definitely yes! ”

   “That’s a relief. I thought i had just made a full of myself”

   “You are no fool Blaise Zabini”

   Blaise gave you a small smile before leaning down. Oh shit. He stops midway, lips centimeters from yours “It is okay if i kiss you, correct?” he asks. We love a consent king. You nod slowly, making his smile grow wide before he presses his lips to yours. 

   “5 galleons you little shit, hand it over!” you both pull apart as three idiots come falling out a nearby broom closet. Pansy spilled her popcorn all over the hallway floor in the process. “Screw you Pansy, you cheated you pig!” Theo snaps back, Pansy hitting the back of his head “I am no pig!” 

   Draco was just lying face first on the floor, hoping no one would notice his presence. “Oh right pug-face!” Theo smirks. Pansy gasps before pulling out her wand “You are dead you queer!” she shouts. Theo pulled out his wand as well “You have a girlfriend, homo!” he shouts. 

   Pansy sputters for a moment “That’s besides the point!” they both circle each other as Draco picks himself off the floor “I shouldn’t have come” he mumbles, dusting off his robes. Both you and Blaise look at each other before bursting into laughter. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   Taglist: @the--queen-of-hell @sonbelleame @dracosathenaeum @pxroxide-prinxcesss 

    ☼-☪-☼

   Kody- I have no words for this other then- what the fuck did i just write? Anyways, peace!

#blaise zabini #blaise zabini x reader #blaise zabini x y/n #blaise zabini x you #blaise zabini x hufflepuff!reader #blaise zabini x fem!reader #blaise zabini x female reader #x you #x y/n #x reader #x fem!reader #x female reader #imagine #imagines #oneshot #OneShots #one shot #blaise zabini fanfiction #blaise zabini oneshot #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #harry potter oneshot #harry potter x reader #harry potter

[mxvladdy]

Diavolo- True Form

Whoooooooo weeeee! ‘Pologies for the wait on these longer posts. I’ve been hit with a one two punch of house emergencies and sudden costly ass repairs, so my creative juices have been rightly squashed as of late.

Plus side I got my drawing tablet and drafting table back so I can neaten up my blog lay out now (yay!) 

Anyway this one was a challenge in the best possible ways. I really like Diavolo because of how little we know about him so it gave me some wiggle room. Or at least what I know of him- im only on like chapter 23 of the stories. Idk if I did him justice as this is angsty af but I sure had a blast writing it!

Hope ya like! Next up: Beelzebub 

Trigger warning: Mention of blood, and swearing. 

Diavolo-

He'll never show you, so don't ask. His true form is god-like in its own right and such knowledge, such truly raw demonic power in its natural form is not for your mortal eyes.

No matter what your lineage, it would break you. And despite his roles and being the literal devil, he doesn’t want you suffering.

Sometimes when he thinks you wouldn't notice he relaxes his hold on reality, just a fraction. He wants to relieve some of the tension that is always building just below the surface. Like closing your eyes when you have a tension headache. The mental energy he has to exert to keep face is enormous. Regular glamour doesn’t work nearly as well as his own, or Barbato’s magic.

But you see hints during your downtime spent in his company. A ripple in his reflection on the window pane. Unexplainable shadows dancing across his exposed skin. Too many teeth in his mouth when he laughs. Sometimes when you stare into his eyes you see something indescribable staring back behind them. His usually warm and inviting gaze darkening. A barest flicker, a hulking bestial thing kept locked behind in his golden gaze. It's enough to freeze the blood in your veins.

On certain nights when you can slip away from the brothers you stay in his room. Lying  awake, you watch his magic wane and shift as he slumbers. Sometimes you see runes, or at times letters. You are tempted to write them down and ask Solomon. But something stops you each time.

The worst images are the faces. Unknown souls trapped beneath his flesh clawing to be freed. Silent screams fading back into his body as he dreams. Your fragile fingers trace the patterns they leave as you wait for the next day wrapped in his embrace.

Only once have you seen more of his form then he would ever wish. The depths of his strength and mental fortitude were unknown to you so the slip up took you both by surprise. He masks the error well, but the sudden shift in energy in the room couldn’t be suppressed .

You are suddenly so aware of the oppressive weight of gravity on your frame. Your bones grinding together under the force of his aura. You panic, desperate by the need to breathe, but are unable to draw even the smallest bit of oxygen as it is robbed from the room. Time and reality wrapped too, distorting in ways only you thought only Barbatos could do. You knew in that moment the sudden dread of death, how mortally was but a rusty shackle tethering you down.

He collects himself, dispelling the energy and locking his glamour down tight to protect you. But that split second of fury felt like an eternity to you as you sink to the floor. You hiccup a shaky sob and shiver. Your fragile human mind bowing under the strain of what it cannot comprehend. Scolding hot tears fall from your cheeks, before splashing crimson the stone below you.

You didn't approach him again for over a month. No matter how strong you are, some things were better off unseen.

Mini Fic

He didn’t know. For once in his ancient pitiful existence, he had been unaware of his surroundings. It had been for just a moment, one tiny crack in his veneer. The foolishness of Mammon and Belphegor’s actions finally poked the right nerve. He wouldn’t hurt them, for Lucifer’s sake. That prideful demon would never forgive him if he did. But he could scare them. A quick look at his true self; a flash of the deepest bowels of hell. Enough to give them a reminder of their positions and standing in his court. He had expected their whimpers of fear, could taste the acidic tinge of it exuding from their pores. What he didn’t expect though was your blood curdling screams alongside.

Ironically, he would have to thank the second eldest later. His fast thinking is the only thing that saved you from complete damnation. His body shielded yours, taking the brunt of the stronger daemons hellish might for you. What little magic Mammon still had left used to protect you. Though, while your vision was blocked, you could still feel his oppressive presence. It racked your mortal flesh. Diavolo knew what affects his power had on humans. He spent years breaking and consuming damned souls with zeal after all.

The brothers had run from him after that, screaming for Simone. Barbatos following close behind, a look of consternation on his usually impassive face. You had been so limp in Mammon's arms. Diavolo could do nothing, shocked by his own weak will and realization that he might have ruined everything. You had been whisked away so quickly by his faithful servant and the brothers that he hadn’t had a chance to look you over himself. But the brief moment he saw will haunt him for years to come. Your eyes red from the sudden haemolacria, the blood staining your clothes and face. Your fingers digging away at your soft skin, black and purple blotches staining what he could see. Mouth opened wide on a silent scream. He knew what you must have seen. The souls of the damned trapped under his glamour breaking free to latch on to your unmarred soul trying to drag you back with them.

Against his butler's advice he stands at your door now days later trying to see you. He couldn’t sit around and just hear updates second hand. The brothers had been keeping guard most days in a valiant attempt to keep him away. But he could only be waylaid for so long before he used his rank against them.

He had arranged a full council meeting. Every one of the brothers knowing full well it was to get them out of his way. Yet, the order was absolute. This time none of the brothers could reject it. Barbatos would keep them in that room for eternity if he so wished for it. He hated using his age and power against them, but he saw no other way to get to you.

It was foolish now, standing as he was in front of your door. A part of him hoping you would turn the knob and let him in. Let him comfort you for once, instead of the asinine distractions the brothers offered. He could help too. Hells, he wanted to. He wanted to be closer to you. Power discrepancy be damned. The other part of him knowing it was for the best that you didn’t. Your guardian and tormentor all in one. He listens to your muffled sobs for a moment fighting with his feet to stay cemented to the floor instead of heading back in defeat.  

"When my father was still around he took me down to the deepest depths of the kingdom. Where the worst of the traitors and sinners are imprisoned." His deep baritone rumbles through your door during a break in your crying. "It’s a place few seldom go; even now I have yet to return. Back then he told me ‘there will never be a human soul that is undeserving of punishment. Even the ones destined for the celestial realm are tethered to sin.’ At that time I believed him. The things I saw in your realm... " The prince chuckles wearily.

He remembers the ever present scowl on the old King's face. His dark eyes looking out at the sea of damned souls he controlled. Even as a young daemon, fresh into his wings and still sharpening his horns to impress others he could tell how much his father detested his position. How it had warped him, turning him bitter and cold, even to his mate and only child.

Diavolo never wanted to be like that. Not to the ones he supposedly cared for at the very least. "I think that is why he hated the other realms so much.” He continued. “Humans, for their ability to choose which realm they would eventually end up in after they pass. That even the worst sinners could find redemption enough at the last moment to get to the pearly gates. While daemons, no matter how well they served, or the duties they did for the good of their own would never be seen as equals to our celestial counterparts or yours. That this existence is all we'll ever be destined to have. Nightmares and monsters, stories to tell little human children to keep them in line.” He pauses, collecting himself. “I believed wholeheartedly that every human deserved the punishments only my kind could dowel out. But, in this past year I have spent with you, I find myself changing. You are so undeserving of such torment. Somehow you are understanding and forgiving beyond measure to us. You handle our ill tempers with such grace. For daemons such as us, it is staggering, and humbling. I regret that I have hurt you so deeply and have broken your trust. I swear it as the head of this realm I would never intentionally do so." He looks at the door handle willing it to open. " I am so sorry."

Your crying picks up again. Huge heaving sobs that rattle your chest. Great Father, he just keeps making it worse. Clearing his head Diavolo turns.

Rejection of this nature was new to him. No one had ever dared to ignore him, especially such as this. The royal in him- his father's blood- seethed that he would even stoop so low as to grovel to a short lived thing like yourself. Even deeper yet, it demanded another taste of your essences. You little soul kept safe behind your rib cage. He wanted it added to his collection, kept tucked away deep within his maws.

It was sick; it was wrong. He chokes on the idea. The intrusive thought burrowing deep. How deplorable was he? Perhaps the angels were right to keep him out of heaven.

You didn't show to class the following day, or the days after. Unsurprising to him and the seven of the inner council. He figured the other day wouldn’t change anything. But it was utter agony to him. These days trapped in his office only getting short and curt updates on your health from Lucifer. It had been a special kind of torment.

Today he sat once again at his desk staring at some godforsaken bitching of a royal cousin. He knew this whelp. Some backwater thrice removed eons ago. Yet he was demanding an audience? The gall. The ink of their eligible handwriting makes him cross eyed. Would this day ever cease? He looks to his hourglass, the sands within seemingly frozen in time.

"My Lord, perhaps you should take a moment to stretch your legs?" Barbatos moved from his corner. Gloved hand coming to rest on top of the same three lines he had been reading for the past two hours. "This work could wait another evening I’m certain ."

"Did I do the right thing my friend?" Diavolo doesn't even bother answering the question his servant posed. They both knew he wouldn't. "This program. Our human exchange students. Solomon is one thing, but-"

"Your will and path is absolute." Barbatos states. "There are no mistakes within you, merely stumblings onto different paths."

With a gentle push Barbatos moves the hulking demon out of his way to collect and organize the scrolls and letters scattered about the large desk. "You made the right choice bringing them here. Look at what they have done. They are entertainment to you are they not?"

The prince rose knocking his desk aside and descended on his butler. His true form out in all its unholy glory now. His highly condensed magic distorting the study as if he was a black hole. The axis of the room shifts. His priceless collection of books and toys disintegrating from the cold radiation he emits.

It was all for show really. There was nothing he could do to an ancient being such as Barbatos. So he lashed out, throwing a tantrum in the security of his office. The hopeless agitation he felt fueling the flames of his rage. His butler had only added holy water to his already festering wounds.

Barbatos had been by his side for time in memoriam. The crafty bastard had helped raise him. Had shaped him into the ruler he was today. If anyone could break and remold him it would be his oldest companion.

The dark haired daemon waited for the waves of agitation to dry up. Moving only when the prince was in his more presentable demonic form. Large barrel chest heaving as he reined himself in. “Are you back to your senses?” He asks coolly, already categorizing the items to replace and furniture to be mended.

"I had not meant for it to go like this."  Diavolo croaks into his hands collapsing back on what remained of his desk. Building a bridge between realms, yes. That noble idea was the greater purpose of this program, but the rest of it. The classes, and dances. The parties where he threw his newest toys about to see how they would react to things other mortals worshiped? That had been for his own curiosity and amusement. Lesser beings navigating a foreign world blind to the dangers that were right under their very nose. Bring a mortal with no magic into his realm? Deep down he knew this was an inevitability. Especially with the freedoms he granted them. He just didn’t think he would get so attached.

“No one believes that you would hurt them on purpose.” His butler cuts off his downward spiral. “It would ruin the program. That is what you are so stressed about, right?” Barbatos eyes him skeptically. Diavolo, himself, and Lucifer had spent many sleepless weeks constructing and negotiating this program. If the Arch Angels heard a mortal was hurt down here it could very well end this little escapade. But the look in the prince’s eyes told a different story.

A warm glow emanated from his cheeks and he was unable to meet the old daemon’s gaze. Ah. "Or perhaps things have changed?" Barbatos smiles coyly up from beneath his bangs. "You are your mother's son after all. Neither of you were ever able to stem your bleeding hearts for long." Diavolo squawked indignantly but didn’t argue. Instead he merely turns a darker shade of red and curses under his breath.

He skipped out on court that evening. Not that he cared much. The other nobles would no doubt use the time to gossip about his whereabouts and uncouth behavior of late. Truth be told, he was avoiding the brothers more than anything else. They had made it expressly clear (some more then others) how they felt about him currently. He wouldn't doubt that Belphegor had a few more brothers on his side now.

Instead he stood at your door once more with a tea tray in hand. He had bumped into Simone on the way. The angel had come to bring you dinner and to check up on the last of your wounds. Celestial magic worked miracles on those who have been touched by the darker arts. Diavolo was grateful for his talents. And, by some miracle, Simone had made it abundantly clear he was not going to bring this to the higher ups on his end either.

Upon seeing the prince slinking up the house's stairwell the other man had simply smiled and offered him the tray. “I suddenly got a message from Luke. Could you perhaps drop this by our friend’s door?” Diavolo had accepted without preamble, large hands dwarfing the platter of little tea cakes and sandwiches. The young cherubs work no doubt. His cooking was a fine treat, and a great incentive to at least open the door.

“Hello again.” He knocks twice. “I just wanted to check in on you. I know I am the last person you wish to see but I was hoping to talk?” Silence greets him. Were you awake? He breathes deeply and focuses on picking up your vitals. You were up, your heart thumping steady somewhere in the room. That was good. “I also have dinner for you. Simone had an urgent matter to attend to so he- for better or worse- entrusted this to me.”

Diavolo searches hopelessly for something else to say. He couldn’t just leave the food and go. He needed to see you. “I don’t plan on staying long today. I understand when I am not wanted, but I cannot help myself but be worried for you. Perhaps this is just me contritioning, because I know I caused this. The amount of times I have been called a ‘ass’ by Solomon over this have been staggering.” He rambles. After another bout of silence from your end he coincides. “I see- I will leave the food by the door and let you rest.” Defeated he puts the food down and turns to leave.

The door clicks open slowly. One bloodshot eye peeking through the crack. “Oh mio piccolo mortale.” He loses his grip on your shared tongue at a loss. You looked- you must have been in the hall longer then he or the brothers had known. Such damage couldn’t be done in a few moments. Your skin was healing as nicely as Lucifer had said, but the deep purple scarring still remained on the surface. The burn pattern of it all was random. Twisting wounds that reflected an oily sheen from the light of the hallway. “I-.”

“I know-” You cut him off with a raised hand. “and I feel as though I owe you an apology too.” Your voice was so weak and shaky. A mockery of your normally strong and jovial tone. Hearing you laugh at school had brightened the dreary halls. He hadn’t realized it until you weren't there.

“You owe me nothing.” Diavolo says in earnest. He watches you contemplate your next words before throwing whatever you were going to say away.

“Would you like to come in?” Your eyes drop to the tray. “Luke always makes more than I can eat.”

“I don’t think that would be wise.” He backs out. All his plans crashing and burning around his feet. His actions had been irreparable.

“Perhaps not,” You open the door wider taking the tray and heading to your side table, leaving him no room to argue. “But then again, being a lamb among such wolves as yourself and the brothers isn’t smart either.” You meant it as a joke but he couldn’t even muster a chuckle. It was true. Gods. “Dia-” You approach him again but falter at the last second.

As much as you wanted to be close to him again the memories were still so fresh in your mind. The cold hell fire of his magic ensnaring you, searing your skin. The whispered words of sinners long since past still echoing in your head, all in languages you’ve never heard before. The worst though had to be the screaming. Lost souls begging for help. Some sounded so familiar…You shutter involuntarily.

You wanted to hate him for this. Curse him for putting you through this pain. But how much could you blame him? Or any of them? They were daemons. Whether he meant to hurt you or not, it truly had only been a matter of time before it happened. It would be hypocritical of you to fear or hate him forever over this. Six of the seven brothers have threatened your life before, and you have forgiven them. Hell, one of them actually killed you. What’s more was that Diavolo’s wrath hadn’t even been directed at you.

Wrong place at the right time; seemed to be your forte. “Please, come in.” You repeat again firmer than before mustering up either courage or sheer human stupidity to order him in. You couldn’t tell the difference anymore. “We need to talk.”  

He enters, following at your heel like a lost puppy. All air of princedom gone as you clicked the door shut. Diavolo fiddles with his hands, old habits from childhood coming with his nerves. He didn’t know what to expect anymore. Yelling? Some kind of beratement? A plea to go home and never look back?  He would let you.

You pass by him, giving him a large berth of space to get to your seat. “Tea?”  

Diavolo jerks his head to you. He had forgotten momentarily the plate of food he had used to get access to you. You smile sheepishly pushing it and a plate of sweets towards him with your unbandaged knuckles. He doesn’t move till your hand retracts back to your lap. You jerk your head to the open seat waiting for him. You weren’t going to take no for an answer.

“I- thank you.” The daemon sits making himself as small as possible in the straight back chair. He takes the porcelain and drinks mindlessly. The scalding hot tea doing little to help the tightness of his throat, but it did thaw some of the ice in his mind.

“Are-how…” He fumbles so unsure of what to do next. “I see you’ve been keeping up with your school work.” Diavolo closes his eyes, wincing internally at his words. That’s what he comes up with? Idiotic.

You smile anyway, eyeing the massive pile of books and paperwork spewn about your bed. “Yeah. I’ve taken to doing my school work with Levi in his room. Mammon and Beel are nice enough to drop it off to the teachers when they are due.” He nods. He knew this of course. But it was nice to hear it from you. But yet, you don’t meet his eyes. Far too afraid to see what hid behind them.

The thought of being dragged back into those dark depths again makes your pulse quicken. You instead stare at your nail beds, finding them more interesting. They were purple now. The nails stained black by the contact with his magic. “Will- will that go away?” He asks. Demonic curses or taints were nigh impossible to remove fully. Disgustingly, he hoped they didn’t. Then your nails would match his. The darker depths of his soul coo at the idea, happy that in a small way every daemon would know your his. Not as good as a pact, but as close as he could get to being a part of your little mortal life.

“I’m not sure.” You reply honestly bringing your hands up to place them on the table. “Simone and Solomon have done what they could. But, it is as good as it’s going to get for now. They say it could fade with time.” You look up at him, eyes gazing to the left of his face. “Luke thinks I should see a stronger angel.” Diavolo winces, the thought stung, and terrified him. “I told him no.”

That surprised him. This was your chance. The celestial realm had been skeptical from the beginning. If they knew, it would be a perfect caveat for them to step in. “Why?” Finally you look at him. The fear was still there. Hesitation evident in your eyes. Yet you forced yourself to look at him, fighting through your trepidation.

“Did you mean what you said earlier? About your father and what you think of me?”

“Of course.” He replies without hesitation reaching for your cold hands. You flinch but don’t move away. It felt-nice. His warmth chasing away the perpetual chill that covered your fingertips. Idly you stroke his strong hands with your thumbs.

“Then, I think we can work on this privately.” Slowly but surely you felt like you could fix this. Not for the program, but for yourself.  

#obey me #obey me diavolo #obey me headcanons #gods have mercy I wanna smooch him so bad

[twelfth-harbinger]

Kaeya fluff headcanons please??

A/n: So I clearly can’t read lmao. This came out as a scenario instead of headcanons lol I will post Kaeya headcanons shortly after this 🤣 Please enjoy this fluffiness.

Mentions: Kaeya being suggestive bc he’s Kaeya. Diona having ridiculously good hearing because she’s basically a cat.

Warnings: None this is funny & fluffy.

The In’s & Outs

“I think it’s about time I show you the in’s and outs of the city of Monstadt. I’m sure you know quite a bit already, given your keen intellect. However, there must be something I can show you that you haven’t seen or..tasted, just yet.”

Kaeya’s smile is bright & charming — everything about him is alluring, right down to the glimmer of playfulness in his icy pale bright eyes. After sight seeing, he takes you to the Cats Tail. He didn’t want to run the risk of bumping into anyone he was too familiar with at Angel’s Share. Diluc.

Charles is a great bartender and all but, Diona literally has the skills to make your tastebuds dance with ecstasy. It makes you wonder if she’s really trying to bring down Monstadt’s wind industry. She may deplore alcohol itself but, even she knows how to make a great drink. Kaeya sat down with you at one of the rounded tables of the Cat’s Tail. As you take your seat across from him, he simply stares your way. As if he’s trying to study you the same way Mona scrys the stars.

“You are extraordinary.” He thought out loud, witnessing your blush first hand was a treat indeed. He moved to raise a hand to his chest giving a not so apologetic smile. “If I may be so bold, it’s just reading you is quite the task in itself.” His chuckle melting in the bustle of the Cat’s Tail. His left eye lowered a bit in admiration of your sweet smile. Your lips were so full and the air around you smelled enticingly sweet. He wasn’t sure if he should put that into words in fear of sending you on your way and away from his side.

“Kaeya?” A random patron of the Cat’s Tail, he recognized that melodic voice anywhere. So much to not running into a familiar face. A bard, a beautiful one that Kaeya had to charm as soon as he saw them. You looked their way and smiled happily. They didn’t smile at you, in fact they ignored you and spoke again. “Did you come to hear me sing today?” They asked with a soft smile on their gorgeous face. Kaeya looked at you, who paid no heed to any of the tension that sat in the air like an elephant sitting on a top hat. He was undoubtedly grateful for your somewhat oblivious nature.

“No.” He spoke, seeing as it was best not to lie to this bard. He gestured to you who he wanted them to acknowledge. “I’m with this lovely individual right here. Showing them the in’s and out of the city of Monstadt. It’s pleasure to see that you’re doing well and still singing.” He complimented them and they looked over at you who sipped idly on a drink made by Diona. You looked over at Diona who was “minding” her business. She thought it was all amusing and her tail flicked behind her as she idly cleaned a glass. The bard blushed deeply as she heard his words. They must’ve thought he’d disregard you and pay attention to them. Kaeya would never.

“I-I see well, when you get bored you know where to find me.” With a huff they turned, leaving you alone with Kaeya. He was glad that moment of awkwardness was over. He looked back at you, seeing you drink form the straw in your glass. It was cute, you were cute.

“I apologize, for that...I was quite fond of their music and sound.” He was going to joke about how they couldn’t get enough of him but he didn’t want to sound like a sleaze.

“You slept with them?” You asked curiously sipping on your drink. Kaeya nearly spit out his own. He quietly stared at you, looking you over to see if he should answer it. He nodded, blush tinting his dark cheeks; a bit embarrassed by the abrupt question. Diona was thoroughly invested in this conversation though, of course she didn’t show it as she served a drink to one of her loyal customers. “Do you want to sleep with me? Is that why you asked me out?” You asked, Kaeya sat there frozen in his seat. He was usually the one doing the interrogation. He thought you were oblivious before but, you were definitely the sharpest tool in the shed.

“That’s not...all...” He trailed off, feeling like he got caught red handed. Or maybe he was a bit offended by the fact that was what you thought of him. Kaeya couldn’t blame you though, if he wasn’t the definition of a flirt he didn’t know what was. He wasn’t going to lie to your face, mainly because he did have genuine feelings for you and you’d also see through it in a heartbeat. You smiled at him, his eye went wide as you flashed him that teasing smile. He didn’t realize it but, he was indeed falling for you. With every passing minute he spent with you the deeper in love he would tumble.

“I’m teasing you Kaeya.” You finally say, it was what he needed to hear. He wasn’t sure how he could answer that question without sounding coy. It had been quite some time since he had difficulty reiterating his feelings towards someone. Something about you drew him in like a moth to a flame. “I’m having fun tonight. I like being with you. Finally melting that charming and icy visage you sport to effortlessly.” You spoke with a smile that warmed his heart. He enjoyed getting to know you too. Your personality was utterly stunning.

“You know, you’re the only one to make my silver tongue not so silver.” He chuckled and you followed suit, he liked hearing you laugh and your smile was breathtaking. “Albeit, you make me smile like no other.” Your eyes lit up when he said that, he took pride in making you blush. You purse your lips together as you sip from the straw.

“Do I, do...other things to you too, Kaeya?” You asked, sheepishly your blush deepening as you stared to the side; finding it quite difficult to keep eye contact now. Kaeya’s cool expression faltered yet again and he fought the blush that threatened to flush his cheeks. It took quite a bit of willpower not to turn table talk into pillow talk. Simply because it was habitual. It’s a good thing he was something of a romantic right?

“Of course you do, more than you know.” He laughed a bit awkwardly as he sighed out. “In fact, every time I see you my chest tightens.” You looked at him a little alarmed, he gave you a reassuring smile your concern was fairly cute. “In a way that leaves me wanting to see your smile everyday.” He said, your eyes flicker with a bit of awe not expecting to hear that. He went on, now was a good a time as any to confess his feelings for you. “Showing you around the city of Monstadt has made me realize that today. It was initially a ploy to get you to go out with me but, I wanted you to feel at home in my home.” The more he talked the more difficult it became to say anything else. He decided to stop right there, especially when it rewarded him, he got to see that smile again; it was otherworldly. “You’re so beautiful..” He thought out loud again, the comment made you blush and your smile widen. He couldn’t stop the deep red blush from tinting his own cheeks.

“Kaeya, I don’t know what to say. You’ve...made my night.” He wanted to really make your night, but alas, he thought against saying something that would ruin the moment. “You’ve been very sweet to me, ever since I’ve returned from Liyue. It almost made me think you had ulterior motives.” Kaeya laughed a bit and his head tilted a little as you eyed him.

“I’m hurt you would think that I only want to get into your pants.” He spoke, a playful glint in his eye. You roll your eyes a bit as you sip your drink with a smile.

“Don’t you?” You quipped, Kaeya chuckled he wasn’t going to deny it. Which made it all the more amusing to you both.

“I’d actually like to take you out again.” He changed the subject rather smoothly, only because if he didn’t he knew he’d say something lewd. “Tomorrow for breakfast at Sara’s.” He flashed a charming smile your way, as you opened your mouth to speak Diona came and dropped two tankards in front of you both. She placed a hand on her hip, her tail waving back and forth.

“Alright love birds. If you’re gonna go out for breakfast tomorrow you better come here! These are on the house, if it’ll get you two to come back.” She grinned, Kaeya realizing she heard everything sat there trying play it cool. You laughed and picked up the new drink. Diona wasn’t going to have her customers get away from her that easily.

“As long as you’re cooking Diona, we’ll be here. Right Kaeya?” You asked, accepting his invitation. His smile was bright as you reassured him. He was going to have you at his side for as long as you’d have him.

“That’s right Diona, so cook us something nice!”

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact kaeya x reader #genshin kaeya #genshin impact x you #genshin impact Kaeya #kaeya genshin impact #Kaeya #kaeya imagines #I also wrote this at 4 am I and didn’t read it was head canons lol #sorrry!!!! #hope you still like it anon ily

[crystalbahamut]

ever onwards

FFXIV Write Day 12 – Make-up for Day 07 Speculate

Summary: G’raha Tia likes to gather facts first, but sometimes he still is surprised by the outcome.

Author’s note: I try to write ambiguous WoL but I always forget to take height into account. Deepest apologies to my lala friends; everyone else is more easily fudged. Also please forgive any mistakes; I wrote the whole thing in third person and found I just…really didn’t like it. I know second person isn’t for everyone, especially when used while shadowing another character’s perspective, but I just liked it better. And this is as edited as it is going to get.

Warnings: G’raha Tia/WoL, Shadowbringers spoilers, Crystal Tower questline, mostly unspecified/ambiguous WoL, romantic sap, fluff, 2nd person

Words: 2,692

 ---

G’raha Tia knew this expedition to explore the Crystal Tower would be the opportunity of a lifetime, but he had no way to know just how much it would change his life. The ruins, the relics, even the enemies left to guard the tower do more to serve his research than any tome he has ever found. It’s fantastic and more than he had ever dreamed it would be.

And part of what makes it all so much more is the presence of the Warrior of Light. It is thanks to you he can even access the tower, but more than that you are one of the few friends he has been able to make in his life. And…well, at first G’raha couldn’t help but start flirting. You are so much more wonderful and human than any story has ever made you out to be, and he can’t imagine anyone spending time in your presence and not becoming irrevocably in love with you. He had resolved to stop immediately should you make your discomfort known, but then…

Then you had started flirting back. And now G’raha doesn’t know what to do. Now that he has thought about it (a bit obsessively, perhaps,) he cannot help but marvel at his own foolish bravery to even try, and he wonders how in the world the Warrior of Light does not yet have a suitor. You have nearly all of Eorzea singing your praises, have even wrested the respect of your enemies, and hobnob with some of the most prestigious personages in the world. So how can it be you will not only laugh at G’raha’s jokes, but sometimes smile so abashedly when he himself praises you?

It is entirely possible you have no one special in your life– and given your favorable response to G’raha’s affections, it is not outside the realm of possibility that you might be interested in him as he is in you. While it may seem too good to be true, G’raha won’t relinquish such an opportunity if there is one…and the wondering thereof is starting to affect his work. If he is ever going to focus on anything other than your love life ever again, he must needs find out for certain.

So he shall end his speculation by collecting data. And today is perfect– everyone on site has the day off and you have told him you intend to spend the day not doing any work. ‘Tis a veritable miracle if he ever heard of one– even Cid had looked shocked. And so when you set off…G’raha sets off after you.

G’raha is not a bad hunter, and so he puts that expertise to use as he follows you around. You hadn't noticed him in the Shroud that first time and his tracking skills remain a point of pride now as he follows you to and around Gridania. You do some shopping– and he can’t help but stifle laughter as you get roped into helping out a stressed merchant, a distressed mother, and a pained courier, in that order.

But you do take the time to buy some things– some supplies for crafting you had mentioned wanting, a snack that makes G’raha’s stomach grumble in jealousy– and then you just walk slowly and take in the city, trading hellos with some few that feel comfortable enough to greet you. But through it all you remain alone, and when you pause to sit on a bench G’raha would say you actually look a bit…lonely.

‘Tis food for thought, for certain. Do you have a paramour who simply couldn’t spare the time today? But you are attuned to nearly every aetheryte in the realm; surely if you wanted to spend time with a beloved it would be no hard feat to manage? In fact, surely anyone lucky enough to have you would travel the world to be with you wherever you want them?

You dust yourself off and leave out of the east gate into the Shroud proper, and G’raha follows from a safe distance. You walk leisurely and G’raha can admit to himself the forest is nice, with the faint sounds of birds and a gentle breeze blowing leaves to and fro. He wonders what it would be like, to walk at your side…perhaps hand in hand…perhaps with his tail curling up your forearm…

There are a couple of times you seem to know you’re being followed and you turn to glance in his direction, but even while daydreaming utter nonsense G’raha is ready for such an event and makes certain you see naught but nature itself. Whether or not you feel a presence, you don’t seem terribly bothered, and he follows you all the way down to the South Shroud.

You cleave a little close to Toto-Rak for comfort, but it is a slight shortcut and nothing comes out to bother you before you’re back on the path to Quarrymill. You stop to talk to someone in the small hamlet and G’raha errs on the side of staying out of the way, so he cannot hear what is said, but he can clearly see when you leave out the other gate, which only leads to…

Urth’s Gift. So much for not working today. G’raha cannot help the way his tail twitches in annoyance as he follows behind you. You’re supposed to be resting and Urth’s Gift is dangerous. Yes, you are clearly capable and he has seen you in action in that very area before, but he can’t help but worry at how relaxed you seem about the whole business. Thankfully he had the foresight to bring his bow, and he follows a little more closely, until he gets the benefits of trees and rock faces to clamber and climb for better sight lines.

He doesn’t realize his mistake until you reach the edge of the water, stop, and fold your arms across your chest.

“Don’t worry; I’m not going to make you race me to Ixali territory,” you say with a raised voice and tilt your head to glance back in his direction. “I just fought Garuda again and I’m not keen to incite another summoning so soon.”

He drops down from his branch and assumes his face must be as red as his hair. “How long have you known?”

“I caught a glimpse of you in Gridania and couldn’t help myself,” you say and walk up to him with a friendly smile. “You know, if you wanted to come with me you could have just accepted the offer when I made it.”

“I ah…didn’t want to impose,” he says weakly and puts his bow on his back again. He would be content to run back to Mor Dhona with his tail between his legs right now, but you reach out and grab his hand and he has not the strength to deny your touch. Sweet Azeyma, how deep is he in already?

“If I invite you it’s not imposing,” you say. “I like your company G’raha.”

He looks at you. “Truly?” It comes out so desperate he coughs into his hand and tries to cover it up. “I simply thought– perhaps your time would be better spent with someone you like more than any other.”

“And who do you think that might that be?” you ask him.

“I…don’t know,” he says. Gods; how rude would it be to rip back his hand and run away? And yet this is too much like the tepid fantasies he had just indulged in. Granted the wild hogs and darker shade aren’t quite as lightly atmospheric as just outside the city, but he is still holding your hand in the forest. It must count. “I simply assumed you…must have someone.”

You step forward and you are so close G’raha’s very breath stutters. “No one has ever said anything to me,” you say and you lick your lips and now he’s staring at your lips by the Twelve why. “But I do have someone I like more than any other. And I suspect he likes me too, though I cannot be certain.”

G’raha’s heart sinks. “Oh,” he says and bites back a sigh. “Well if- if it makes you feel any better, there is no one that could receive your affections and not return them. And if this person does not then they are a fool.”

He cannot help how emphatic he becomes, but the idea that you could fall for someone and that person would squander such a precious–

You put your hands on either side of his face and lean in to kiss him. He can do naught but stare, wide-eyed for several seconds, though thankfully the kiss is chaste enough that his delayed clumsy movements can count for a returned gesture before you pull back, an enigmatic smile upon your lips before you ask him, “Are you a fool, G’raha Tia?”

He puts his hands over yours and, again, it takes his brain several long seconds to comprehend what just happened. “I…” He licks his lips. He wants to taste you, feel you, in ways he could have only imagined before. A world, a future is opening up before him, and he wants to see where it leads. “I may be a fool, but not such a deplorable one.”

You roll your eyes but there’s a faint embarrassed smile trying to hide in your face. “It’s not deplorable to not want me, G’raha.”

“We must agree to disagree.” Something snaps and he whips his head around, but there is nothing to be seen, no hogs in the wind, and he relaxes with a sigh. He winks at you. “I must say though, your choice of locale for such a stirring confession is a bit…odd.”

You chuckle and put your hands on his shoulders. “We first met here, so technically it’s where we first started our working relationship,” you say. “I thought it would be nice symmetry if we started our new relationship here too.”

He finds the suggestion…strangely appealing. Perhaps he is odd too, then. To be as odd as his Warrior of Light– well, there are much worst things in the world to be. He puts his hands on your sides and walks forward, guiding you along, until your back meets a rocky wall and he pushes in for a deeper kiss to sate his newfound hunger. Or perhaps it is a thirst he knows he will never quench. It matters not– you are more precious than water in an oasis, and he intends to savor every drop.

---

Decades later and a world away…

G’raha doesn’t know what he’s in for with your invitation to meet him out by the main gate, but he goes with a sense of curiosity and naught else. The night is cool, with a light breeze that blows pleasantly against his face as he walks. He nods in response to those that greet him as he passes by, but, curiously, there is no one present when he arrives outside the Crystarium– no one but you, and you walk up to him with a smile that reaches his heart. It’s embarrassing how quickly you can reduce him to an adolescent miqo’te with his first crush.

He clears his throat and tries to focus on something else. “Where is the guard?”

“Shift change.” You pull him close by his robes. “We have one minute and thirty-seven seconds at most.”

“To do what?” G’raha asks, laughing.

You answer him with a kiss. A deep kiss, dizzying, more than welcome, and G’raha returns it with all the hunger he has felt for far too long, tasting, touching, feeling you in a way that is so intensely personal and warm and wonderful and familiar in a way that makes him realize how much he has ached without your touch. It is, alas, too short, but you both pant in the wake of it.

“Oh…” G’raha gently touches your cheek and his soul sings as you lean into his hand. He licks his lips. He wants more, but the way you shift your eyes towards the gate makes him conscientious of the privacy you’ll soon lack. “I wasn’t sure if…”

“I’m sorry it took so long to arrange,” you say and take his hand to start leading him up the path back to the city. He will follow you wherever, if only you keep your hand in his to guide him. “I knew you probably didn’t want to do that in front of the guards, so I had to watch them to see when we would have a chance.”

But why do it out in the open at all? Why that road? G’raha doesn’t want to ask a question he should perhaps already know the answer to, but curiosity burns at him until he stops and grips your hand to keep you from slipping away. You turn back to look at him and he clears his throat nervously. “Pray forgive me but…why that particular spot?”

Thankfully you don’t seem offended by his question. Instead you grow a wide smile– nay, a full grin. “Do you remember…it’s been a long time, but do you remember the first time we ever kissed?”

“In the Shroud?” he asks. As though he could have ever forgotten; it was only ninety percent of the daydreams he’d had to soothe his mind and soul when the weight of his duty had nearly gotten to be too much. How you tasted, how you felt, how he had felt towards you– it had never failed to stir his heart and renew his commitment to his course to save you at any cost.

“You had followed me around all morning so I led you back to the Shroud, back to where we first met.” You step closer to him and his arms slide around you in automatic response. “At the time I wasn’t completely sure if you liked me like that, but I took a chance and it seemed appropriate to have our first kiss where we first met.”

Slowly, G’raha starts to understand. “Where we first…met. I see.” He cannot help his smile even though it feels so wide as to be ridiculous, and he pulls his hood over his eyes to try and hide how red his face must be for how warm it feels. But he covers the act with, “Perhaps this would have been more appropriate then?”

You laugh and G’raha thinks it shouldn’t be possible to be this happy, after so many decades of pain and fear and loss and longing, but he surges forward to kiss you again and you return the act in full.

“Mm, well,” you drawl sarcastically and gently run your thumb over his bottom lip. “I admit I did spend many a night wondering why on earth I couldn’t stop fantasizing about the Crystal Exarch’s mouth.”

“Oh?” His lips curl of their own accord as he thinks about it– because you would have a crisis about wanting to kiss a man you thought you didn’t know. The idea of you lusting after him though serves to boost his confidence and he pulls you to his body suddenly, tightly. “And what about G’raha Tia’s mouth?”

Your eyes soften. “Ridiculous man,” you say and kiss him again. “You still are, have always been, my G’raha, even when I didn’t know it. But I do now, and if you’ll have me I promise I love you just as much as I did then.”

“I’m not the same as I was,” G’raha says but leans in to nuzzle you.

“Neither am I. So…” You gesture at the gate. “Here’s to new beginnings?”

G’raha smiles. Perhaps he does not deserve to be so happy when his plans went so awry and only worked out due to your sheer stubbornness, but he has never thought himself so austere as to deny himself what he wants when it seems to want him just as much. So he leans in, takes your lips in his, and kisses you tenderly, savoring every second he can, before he pulls back just slightly and whispers, “To new beginnings.”

#ffxivwrite2021 #ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite prompt 7: speculate #ffxiv fanfic #warrior of light #g'raha tia #wol x g’raha tia #wolexarch #wolgraha #romance #fluff

[life-rewritten]

Lovely Writer Ep 1; An Introduction to Ambition, Masks and Secret Goals

We did it, guys! After trying hard to get back into this writing groove thing, I think I have found it, the show that will make me want to write. And we all say What??  Oh, my word was the first episode of Lovely writer so great. From the first moment the show starts, you can tell there's meta, it's calling out the BL industry; sarcastically, with comedy, shallowness, and yet there's this air of secrecy and depth to it. It's funny because the industry's problems made fun of are essentially going to be our big villain of the show, the thing that's going to try and rip our couple apart. So to see the first episode already lay a foundation for us to start realising the disconnect with what's being done on the surface vs what's being truly displayed secretly shows us already this show is playing with the ideas of masks and the lengths it would take to actually survive in this world/industry portrayed in the show. The thing as well is we are watching this show through the lens of Gene; he's also someone who's become very disconnected with how he feels about the problematic elements of this industry vs how people want him to think about it; they want him to thrive off it, to use it for his ambition, to use it to make himself known. So already, we are also introduced to the theme of ambition and the theme of secrets. The characters are acting in a way to get something done for them, and yet they're hiding their truths to please something; the industry, a person of power, or just something they want. And that's fascinating already to start with. That's already going to be fun to unpack and write about.

I just really love how deep this show is already becoming;  hidden with comedy and romance, we see depth, we see realism and calling out issues that we face in the real world concerning the BL genre, and still, we see yet, a love story brewing as well, it's a perfect combination. Or is it? And not to be so fully surprised, I did say that Tee is a great director, he made TharnType mean something to me, and that's because he hides his themes and his actual message behind layers and layers of subtext, he focuses on flaws of characters, but he makes them feel real, yet he also tackles real conversations about things that happen in real life and hides it behind a passionate romance and comedy. That's why this is so great for me. In already episode 1, Tee has shown up and done everything I knew he could do with Lovely Writer, and I am so freaking excited. The words are pouring out of me. Once the show started, I wanted to write, analyse and talk about this show.  I wanted to bring to the surface the meta, the subtext, the foreshadowings and the character depth. I am truly ready for this show, and I hope you all are too. So episode 1, how were we introduced to the themes of the show so far; well, let's find out.

An Introduction to Ambition, Masks and Secrets

So the show starts off as a typical romantic comedy Bl; at first, you are like, it's funny they keep mentioning these little truths about the genre and the industry. It makes sense; we're seeing the story through the eye of a frustrated writer in the industry who has to do a lot to be part of it, so it is funny but also surreal to see the issues being brought up about the industry. Because of this, you know this show is meta. It's taking its self not seriously, but it's actually serious below the surface. So immediately, my sensors start to ping, could there be more depth to this story, are there hints showing us what to look out for, is there more to what Tee wants to say with this show. And actually, the first thing is the introduction to Aey. They mention him at first during the casting call discussion; the way they introduce him is interesting to me because I know he's an obstacle to our story. He's a love rival, and he's sneaky.

Aey is an interesting villain if you wanna call him that. He's obviously going to be a barrier, and you know, his smile on his face seems like a mask, not particularly for evil, just something he has to use to get his way. Just like Nubsib, he's faking an image, and we see his real face in the bathroom, this episode. Especially when he looks through some comments and tweets, which I don't know what it's about because there were no subs, but I'm guessing either mentioned his sexuality or how cute how he and Nubsib will be together or something else that pokes at his insecurity. Right now, he's ambitious,  his thoughts are on succeeding, and so he acts docile, nice and friendly to get what he wants; however, we can see that the reason why he's right now trying to get Nubsib's attention isn't because of love; it's because of the job, of wanting to keep appearances, of knowing this would make him more successful, this will make them famous and please their growing shipping fandom.

That's the exciting thing; the question is, does he really like Nubsib or is he just faking it. Is there more to his connection with Nubsib? Also, just the fact that he's not a one-note character but he already seems to have layers is so exciting for me; this show is already doing what I hope it would do for me, it's being meta, secretive, smart, structured and still having comedy and romance on the surface. These characters all seem to have layers, truths hidden and interesting reasons for why they do what they do. That's fascinating to me. So because of that one scene where we see Aey almost break his mask and then go back to putting it on to please people and write on his social media, I'm already seeing the theme of ambition in this series. I see it in Gene, Nubsib (for Gene mostly), Aey, even Hin, who's a bit interesting with his own want to write and need to be noticed. Interesting.

The lengths our characters have to go through to achieve their ambitions might make them take on masks that they aren't particularly comfortable with, and also isn't an accurate display of their own values and truths but never the less they have to do this to achieve their ambition.

Gene: The Mask Of A Writer

We can see Gene isn't really a fan of BL writing and the tropes associated with it. In fact, he deplores it, he finds it hard to write about, and he doesn't think there's any substance to them. His focus is that what they portray is shallow, unimportant and toxic, just like how he sees the industry promoting them. It's why he's fine being an introvert; he feels safer in the confines of his home doing what he loves to do; writing, but he's decided, letting people in is not worth it. Mostly people from his industry who seem callous at times, greedy at best, and just corruptive. He disagrees with that and tends to want to distance himself from that. But what can he do? He wants to write, he wants to survive by doing what he loves to do, he wants to thrive in his job; however, he has to make sacrifices to get to that goal where he can comfortably write what he wants.

He's not really comfortable there, he wants to write something else (something with more depth, something with more understanding, something that makes him feel like him), but he can't, so he takes on a mask to keep on doing whatever he can for his ambition.  Writing is all Gene seems to have, from constantly being tired, irritated, and too focused on it to even take care of the state of his house, of himself, and of his relationships. Nothing is more important than writing. That's his ambition, what makes him happy, what makes him safe, what makes him comfortable. And that's very relatable; as an introverted writer my self, Gene finds an escape from the real world when he puts his mind at work, and he creates however slowly, the love and excitement he has for writing are being shadowed by the lack of belonging he feels for the genre he has to write about. The moral conflicts, the uncomfortable topics and just overall the shallow results of his stories. They don't mean anything to him, just a way for ends meet. And that must be incredibly frustrating and tiring. Yet Gene has to do it to get his ambitions done.

That's why it's funny/important that Nubsib is invading his space. Nubsib's presence is showing up and unravelling Gene's masks, his truths, his reality. Nubsib is pushing Gene out of his act and making him question his ambition and truth. But also, in a way, Nubsib is providing depth for Gene for this genre as he starts to be truly inspired by his unknown attraction and connection to Nubsib.

 The more the love becomes authentic, the more Gene starts to understand maybe why BLs might be written and why it might be loved by many fans because of that meaning of love that is portrayed when done correctly. So perhaps, Nubsib is making Gene realise more about the other side of things; maybe he offers a different perspective, especially since he's going to be one of those tropey BL characters.

Nubsib: The Mask Of A Lover

Nubsib is very much ambitious, he takes levels to make sure he gets to Gene, but also he hides his true self and wears a mask of two faces. Even his manager knows his real personality and says it; he's faking an image. He hides who he really is to Gene to come of nicer and sweeter, but also he does all of this to get his goal of making Gene trust him. Making Gene first think he's a good boy.  Now, of course, immediately, I notice his two-faced behaviour. I see red flags; this isn't a healthy way to pursue a lover; it's full of lies, secrets and not truly knowing the real person's character. So are we going to unveil more about his intentions, why he's so invested in Gene and what he gains from doing all this, this way? Why is he so ready to ensure this time, Gene doesn't escape or that he doesn't lose his chance to finally be with Gene.

Acting doesn't seem to be his agenda; Gene is, you know, which is why you can feel already from the bat that he knows Gene before. He's pretending they haven't met before/, or he's seen something in him that's made him want to be near him; that's fascinating and interesting, that's the lengths he's taking; to wear a mask to get what he wants. It's interesting because, in a way, his lying, manipulation and secrecy is the opposite of what his presence is going to be for Gene in the show. Remember, he's meant to add authenticity to Gene's life, and love, and vulnerability, and so it's worrying because it's almost like Gene is falling in someone who he doesn't even honestly know. But this is just episode 1; as much as yes Nubsib is manipulative and secretive, I think there are things we'll get to see about him that's still authentic, at least for now; one of the things that stay true is his feelings for Gene, that's what's driving him, and Gene who has been so devoid of that connection maybe that's why Nubsib has to find a way to break down his walls in that way. We can see it's not easy for people to see Gene's vulnerable side. Nubsib makes him vulnerable, and maybe Nubsib knows this about Gene if they have met before; maybe he knows this is the only he can maybe try to make Gene notice him since Gene is so quick to run back home and throw himself into his world of writing. But is it okay? No, it's still manipulative and deceitful, but I think it's going to have consequences. And I can't wait to see how that unfolds. You also see some parts of when his masks fall, and that's concerning Aey, which is funny because  I think they're the same type of people. This is why I'm intrigued by this show; they both will do whatever it is to get what they want.

Aey: The Mask Of An Actor

And then we have Aey; he's even more fascinating; he's pretending to like Nubsib for his own agenda. Even Nubsib can feel it. They've known each other for a while. They can read through each other's masks. That's why they have an interesting plot arc coming. The show does start by making note that he rarely would get a role this big because of his queer identity. Apparently, that's an issue/ problem with the industry (both in fiction and in reality, sadly). They think LGBTQ actors don't attract money if they're too 'queer',  so Aey is determined to get success, notice and fame. He's already found ways to get to this point by overhearing Nubsib when he finds out about the audition. Nubsib is already known and supported by people. Aey may be different. Maybe he's had to struggle to be noticed.

In a way, he's doing all he can to ensure this works for him, but in order to do so,  he also wears a mask and hides who he really is to everyone. In fact, the reason why he's chosen for the role is because even though he is queer, he doesn't seem like it. This is what was said in the show. The only person who seems to see him truly is Mhok, and that's an exciting development being hinted at. There's someone again who is connected to unravelling his mask and knowing his genuine authenticity. I think this is a big theme surrounding romance in this show.  So Aey is going to be an interesting obstacle, just like Sib, everything that comes out from his mouth are lies to get what he wants, maybe even his smiles and fake niceties aren't truly his character; he seems devious (not in a negative way), he seems cunning, like he knows how to be one step ahead. This is probably what he's made himself become to be chosen, noticed and taken seriously. To get what he wants. This makes him a fascinating antagonist; I don't think he's a villain, just someone who has a fascinating character arc in the show. I can't wait to explore it.

Hin: The Mask Of A Follower

And then there's Hin. As much as he's chirpy and nice and friendly to Gene, he seems quite, I won't say jealous, but he does show he wants the chance and opportunities Gene has with writing. He asks the manager by text as the audition happens,  to read his book and let him know if it's possible for publishing. It seems he tends to be overlooked; he's curious, wide-eyed, always looking positive, but what if this is also just a mask? What if we're gonna see more to this arc too. It'd be interesting to see if he'll feel annoyed at Gene complaining about having the opportunity he has to write BLs, when others may not be chosen the same way. But that's just a theory about Hin. If all the other characters are just as ambitious in getting what they want, what's to say, Hin wouldn't be later. What role would he play during the show's ending, perhaps just a supportive friend, a guide to help Gene deal with whatever comes, but it is interesting to know he also wants to write. My first thoughts always point to negative with that because it suggests rivalry. And I think rivalry is also an interesting theme, an occurrence that happens in the industry. So maybe there's more to him, or perhaps not.

So yeh ambition and masks and the lengths the characters would go to fulfil what's important to them in this show have been built up already. Most of our characters all share similarities of having to become or do something that doesn't pertain to the truth of who they really are. They see no choice in the matter; they have to do this to survive or to be happy. This industry is a competition, it's harsh, and you need adaptability, tough skin and methods to survive and get what you want. Especially since Lovely Writer is about the Acting industry as well. These characters all have to be actors somehow, Gene has to pretend he cares about BL, so he sells and makes it big, Nubsib has to pretend he doesn't know Gene, so he can win Gene's heart, Aey has to pretend he cares about Nubsib, so he becomes famous and supported by his fandom, and maybe even Hin has to pretend he's okay with following after Gene, so he can find opportunities to learn more about the industry and also find ways to publish his book. An interesting theme that occurs in real life. Obviously, as Gene and Sib fall for each other, those ambitions come out to the surface, become obstacles in the making, and they have to choose to sacrifice some of it for their love and happiness. One way or another, there's a consequence to not being who you are; somehow, the truth always comes out.  Okay, let's do this show. Let's get to know these characters. I certainly can't wait.

#lovely writer #lovely writer the series #thai bl #bl series #bl drama #nubsib #cwg #nubsibgene #march #fvete

[modernpaw]

Endorphins

Dan Jones x Female Reader

Summary: While running around The Capitol one morning, you chance upon Dan from work.

CW: Mentions of sex, a little swearing, implied unsafe sex, AFAB reader

Words: 1.8k

This day is not going well, and it's barely even begun. You sigh as you hobble over to the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, keeping most of your weight on one ankle. You came here at the break of dawn to get some exercise, to stimulate the production of those elusive endorphins, which you were then hoping would help you manage the mounting stress at work. But because you're not an active person in general, and because you're still getting used to your new running shoes, you ended up landing awkwardly on your left foot and twisting your ankle. So much for stress relief.

Maybe it's just slightly sprained, you think as you carefully lower yourself on the steps. You try to rotate the affected ankle and wince when you feel a twinge of pain.

Okay, definitely sprained.

You're not sure how you're going to walk back to your car, much less drive back home. The worst part of it all is that you haven't even been running long enough to make the injury worth it.

The view of the Washington Memorial looks beautiful though.

You lean back on both hands, deciding to enjoy the peace and quiet, before you allow yourself to continue worrying. After all, it's not like you can change anything. What was that quote you saved on your Pinterest board just the other day? The only thing you can control is how you react to things out of your control.

At 5:30 in the morning, and on a Saturday at that, the entire area is devoid of the usual tourist crowd. There are a few early birds, but because they know how not to hurt themselves within the first 20 minutes of their run, none of them linger around in one spot for too long.

Certainly none of them are paying you any attention. Except maybe for that one person who looks like he's headed your way.

Great. Maybe if you make yourself look as nonchalant as possible, he wouldn't realize that you've twisted your ankle. The last thing you want right now is to be given unsolicited advice. You already get a lot of that from work, thankyouverymuch.

He gets closer and closer, and to your mortification, you realize that it's not a stranger at all, but someone you actually know.

Oh for heaven's sake, you think exasperatedly. You came here hoping to find a solution to your work stress, not to exacerbate it. Why the fuck is the universe sending you Dan Jones right now?

It's probably too much to hope that he hasn't seen you.

Dan is one of the staffers at the Senate office. You may have harbored a tiny bit of a crush on him when you first started working in an adjacent office, but that kindling of a spark was promptly extinguished when he challenged you to rethink your stance on an environment policy and basically implied that you were naive and idealistic. The thing is, he wasn't even rude or obnoxious about it. He was just right.

And you didn't like that. Well, not specifically the fact that he was right, but that you were wrong. You still don't. You worked your ass your entire life just to avoid being in that situation, and it took Dan all but one minute to dismantle all your hard work. Okay, that's a bit melodramatic, but he did shake your self-confidence a bit. I mean, it was your first week at work!

Had he been mean or awful about it, your ego might have forgiven him more, might have found solace in the fact that there are one or two things that are deplorable about him, but he wasn't and there aren't. And so you tamped down on that crush hard. Made sure it never reared its ugly head again and worked your ass even harder to make up for that initial embarrassment.

Now, though, it looks like you're being served another slice of humble pie.

"Hey," he greets out in a friendly tone. "I thought that was you."

"Hi, Dan," you greet back. "Er, fancy meeting you here."

You try not to cringe at the response you just gave. It sounds like lazily written dialogue in a spy movie, or worse, the first 20 seconds of a cheap porno.

Dan is, of course, unaware of your private turmoil. "Oh yeah, I come here most mornings," he answers, casually pulling his right leg up from behind with his opposite hand to stretch his quads. "I didn't know you run as well."

You try not to stare at his thighs, but you can't help it when they're right in your line of sight.

"Oh I don't run often," you say. And then not knowing what possessed you, you add, "To be honest, I don't run at all. This is probably my first time running in, I don't know, five or six years."

Dan does the same quick quad stretch with his other leg before settling down next to you with his knees to his chest. As he interlocks his hands over them casually, you turn your head to look back at the Washington Monument, so that you don't accidentally get caught staring.

Jesus, does this man ever not look good? Anyone can look dapper in a properly fitting blazer, but Dan is just wearing a nondescript hoodie and running shorts.

He says something, but it doesn't register, so you ask him to repeat it again.

"I said would you like to run together?" he says. "No pressure though."

Reminded of your predicament by his choice of words, you wonder if you should just tell Dan that you sprained your ankle.

"I can't," you answer weakly.

You can tell that your own choice of words has confused him, but he doesn't press, only nods his acceptance. He moves to get up, and your brain, probably drugged up due to a belated release of endorphins, pushes you to say something.

"I twisted my ankle!" you blurt out.

A look of concern passes over his face and he moves a few steps down to sit right beside where your feet are currently stretched out.

"Which ankle?" he asks.

"The left one," you answer and you wince again as your injury makes itself known. Is it just your imagination or did the pain get worse?

"You should have said something earlier," he murmurs. Before you can react to that, he hovers his hands over your left ankle. "May I?"

Once again, your traitorous self answers and you nod your head.

Dan carefully unties your shoelaces, taking the time to loosen them all the way up before gingerly cradling your ankle with one hand and oh-so-gently removing your shoe with the other. As he proceeds to remove your sock, his fingers lightly brush against your skin, and a gasp escapes you.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs softly, mistaking your response for one of pain. "I'll be fast. I just want to see how swollen it is."

You give him the green light, and he continues to divest your foot of the white cotton. The more skin he unveils, the more the two of you realize just how serious the sprain is. Your ankle has practically doubled in size, confirming your earlier suspicion that you won't be able to drive back home.

"We should get this iced and then elevated," he says, looking back up at you.

"I don't really have anything with me," you answer.

He gently lowers your foot back down, but doesn't take his hand off it. In fact, as he takes a moment to contemplate something, you feel him caress your ankle reassuringly. The pain on your foot gradually blurs, and you barely manage to hold in a moan of pleasure, pumped up on endorphins as you are.

"I have an ice pack in my car," he volunteers. "It's not that far. I can go get it now, but I also think it's best if I drive you home, so you can rest properly."

Oh, you think to yourself, surprised. While a part of you probably knew that he wouldn't just leave you alone, you didn't expect him to go so far as to take you home. Then again, it's also the most Dan thing he can do. Your mixed reaction must have shown on your face because he quickly backtracks.

"But, uh, perhaps there's someone we can call to pick you up?'" he asks, a bit of red creeping up the sides of his ears. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to overstep."

He looks adorable like this. Dan is normally such an infallible force at work. In the last 12 months since you met him, you've never seen him appear this flustered once, and your stomach can't help but flip flop at the possibility that this is all because of you.

"No, I'm good," you say with a smile. "I did bring my car though."

He still looks a bit red, but you see some of his composure returning. "We can come back for it later. Right now, though, this foot is our priority. It's criminal how long we've allowed it to remain untreated."

Is Dan Jones flirting with you? You decide that the only way to find out is to flirt back. "That's a serious allegation, Mr. Jones," you remark coyly, not missing the way his breath hitches ever so slightly at the way you addressed him. "Perhaps this warrants an internal investigation"

"Oh I'll even lead it, ma'am," he answers, his eyes darkening as he meets your gaze. "And I'll make sure to be very thorough."

You shudder at the implication of his words. There's something about Dan that makes you think that he could be a gentle lover, but would also not hesitate to literally fuck you six ways into Sunday if you ask for it. You feel yourself getting wetter by the second. God, it feels like the endorphins are really working your body double time.

Dan turns his back to you and bends his knees slightly. "Get on," he says, tapping his shoulder with one hand, further cementing your theory that this man will absolutely ruin you in bed. "I'll give you a ride to the car."

You lick your lips and do as you're told, resisting the urge to recommend a better preposition. Once he's certain that you're secure, he extends both of his hands behind his back to hoist you up, and slowly stands back to his full height. He then tugs his elbows closer to his hips, so that not all your weight is on his arms, inadvertently making you rub your already sensitive folds against his back. A soft whimper escapes your lips, one that you're certain did not go unnoticed seeing as you practically moaned right into his ear.

You hear him swear in frustration and he gets a move on. Each step has you rubbing up against him, giving you some modicum of relief one second and then wrenching it away the next, but you bite your lip and you hold you tongue. You know it'll be absolutely worth it when you get to his car. You just hope to fucking god that he's parked it in a secluded spot.

Tagging: @paper-n-ashes

If anybody else wants to be tagged in future adcu stories, just let me know! :)

#Dan Jones x Reader #Dan Jones x Female Reader #mentions of sex #swearing #adcu #adcu fanfiction #the report movie #implied unsafe sex

[naitiaclo960writings]

Day 8 - Heartless

(Warnings: Past major character’s death and quick mention of disease / grief. It’s an happy ending tho)

September

When Castiel fell asleep in the operating room on the morning of September 14, he was prepared to never wake up again. He had never been a religiously committed man unlike his parents, and yet he knew that he had prayed before closing his eyes.

It has been more than 3 months since he entered the list of organ recipients to replace his heart tired by illness. Unfortunately, he had inherited a heart malformation from birth and had survived to the age of 28 without being too disabled, but the congenital heart disease had caught up with him midyear. After a whole series of tests and a permanent hospitalization, the doctors had been very clear: either he had a heart transplant or he had only a few months left to live.

The hardest part was seeing his friends and family coming to see him every day with a darker face as nothing moved on the side of the organ center. Castiel was aware that he was not a priority among the thousands of people in need of a heart in the United States, but he tried to remain optimistic for the people he loved. His fight was rewarded a few days ago when he was told he had found a match donor.

For medical reasons, Castiel and his family weren’t allowed to know who the donor was. It was obviously not the priority in the eyes of all, but Castiel had insisted on knowing more and he had simply been informed that a heart had become available following a fatal road accident in the nearby city. There was something macabre about celebrating someone’s death, but that person had been generous enough to help other souls struggling to live and he could only salute that gesture.

"Take a deep breath." The nurse intimated, securing a mask on his face.

Thus the day of the fateful operation had arrived and Castiel was terrified. There were so many things to consider, so many factors that could tip the scales one way or the other. After one last thought to his family and, surprisingly, to his donor’s family, Castiel did as he was asked.

* * *

October

The operation was a success. He opened his eyes after said surgery. There was nothing more to say except that Castiel was grateful every day for the new beating heart in his chest. It was with this heart that he could now embrace his loved ones, laugh with his friends and discover a world he thought destined to disappear beyond the doors of this hospital.

Castiel was still in hospital and in the recovery phase, but he was doing well and could be out very soon according to his doctors. He had seen the scar on his chest last week and he couldn’t help but cherish it. This mark was the sign that he had survived. The sign that he had the right to live longer and to continue to build his life away from the health problems that had accompanied him all his life.

He was currently distracted by the television channels in his room — the afternoon programs were truly deplorable — when the nurse came in to serve him his meal.

"Hi Clarence. How’s my hottest patient today?" She exclaimed.

Castiel turned his head towards her with a small awkward smile as usual. He stood up gently in bed. 

"Hello Meg." He said politely. "I’m fine, my scar doesn’t even itch anymore."

Meg was definitely his favorite nurse and it seemed to be mutual. She had told him one day that she always arranged to be assigned to his room, for she liked their conversations, and Castiel could only agree with her. Despite her bad girl tease, Meg was now a good friend, always listening and present to support him in addition to being a good caregiver. Her honesty had helped Castiel to carry on in his fight against the disease and during his remission. They sometimes spent long minutes discussing their respective lives before Meg’s pager rang and she was called away. In addition, she sometimes smuggled him chocolate bars to make up for the hospital food and Castiel calling it "a survival aid".

"I hope so!" Meg said, setting up his lunch tray with a small smile." But at least it has the merit of giving you a little adventurous side. Did I ever tell you I have a thing for guys with chest scars?"

Castiel laughed softly, playing the game they both took pleasure in maintaining. Despite everything, it didn’t go any further than that: a game to brighten their days. Both knew how to settle for their already atypical friendship.

"At least twice a day." Castiel joked while leaning in his pillows. "Did anyone leave a message for me today?"

Meg could not help sighing and Castiel pinched his lips with sympathy.

They both knew what that meant. Castiel had insisted on registering on a site that put organ donor families and recipients in contact. However, the process was complex and if the family of his donor did not post any message on this site, then Castiel would have no chance to get in touch with them. Yet he was almost obsessed with this situation. He had this need, no, this irrepressible urge to thank the family of the one who had saved his life. It was something so important and, although he respected the choice of some to remain anonymous, he felt that he would not be able to leave this all behind until he had put a definitive end to this chapter of his life.

"No, Clarence, squat" Meg shook her head. "And even if they did, you know very well that you will not be able to contact them. The site does not allow any personal information or too intimate exchanges between families."

"I know." Castiel replied, abashed while planting his fork in the mashed peas. "But perhaps they will make an exception? I just want to know them and thank them for the gesture of their loved one".

Meg clicked her tongue while pushing the wagon towards the door.

"I know you want to do the right thing, you’re a damn angel with a halo over your head." She gave him a small grin of disgust that made Castiel smile. "But what if they didn’t want to meet you? They are probably—"

"Living a difficult situation and I would only remind them of their loss, yes, I know." Castiel mumbled without being able to help it. "But… Maybe that they also would like to know that the death of their loved one helped other people cope. It’s possible Meg. And maybe they just don’t know how to contact me or-"

Meg shook her head again with a little compassionate pout.

"Even if they knew, handsome, they couldn’t. It’s against the law. Medical confidentiality and all that crap." She sighed before she came to sit on the chair beside him and put her feet on his bed.

Castiel let out a groan of frustration.

"Yes… But there are necessarily registers somewhere, a way to find a contact." Suddenly, something seemed to light up in his eyes and he turned his hopeful face towards Meg.

"Oh no, don’t give me that look." She groaned, knowing that it was not good news.

Castiel ignored her.

"Could you have access to organ donor records? You told me the heart came from the next town."

"And just by doing that, I’ve already told you too much." Meg said, raising an insolent eyebrow.

"You must be able to find an address, right? There must be even a name or maybe a phone number. I mean, if it’s a medical secret then the information has to be somewhere. If I could just put my finger on a semblance of something, it would be…" He moistened his lips, thinking. " It would be incredible."

Meg grumbled again, throwing her head back with exaggeration.

"Let’s say I have access to this information, and I mean maybe. Just giving it to you could cost me my job, Clarence. Why is it so important for you to find the name of a dead guy?" She snapped.

At these words Castiel’s face slumped slightly. He remained silent for a moment, seeking the right answer to this question. Meanwhile, he felt his heart squeeze in his chest and the blood it sent to his brain was enough to formulate his next words.

"Because it is unfair that I survived among so many others." He said." My donor had relatives, maybe siblings, a dog, friends and all lost something too valuable to be replaced in this car accident. Yet that’s how organ donation works. Someone dies and allows others to live. But I know that, if I had died on that operating table, my parents would have liked to know through whom I would have continued to live. I feel responsible Meg."

Castiel took a shaky breath before gently biting his lip while his friend welcomed his words with contemplative silence. Television continued to gossip in the background, but Castiel no longer heard it, lost in his thoughts.

"And yet, you are not." Meg said gently, leaving aside her usual sarcasm this time.

Castiel nodded slowly.

"I know." He sighed again before returning to his plate. "I’m sorry, you’re right. I can’t ask you anything like that anyway, it was selfish of me."

Following this, only the noise of the cutlery against the ceramics as well as the television journalist was heard in the hospital room. Meg didn’t move, didn’t open her mouth either, while each of them thought about their commitments in this story.

Finally, after several minutes of silence, the nurse sighed dramatically.

"What the hell wouldn’t I do for those beautiful blue eyes." She said under her breath. "Okay, I’ll see what I can do about the address." She says while rolling her eyes before standing up.

Castiel turned his head so quickly towards her that he was afraid to break his neck.

"What?" He asked, stunned.

"But I can’t guarantee you anything, Clarence." Meg told him while sighing. "You don’t access their organ donor files like that, but… I may have a couple of people I could contact. But it’s just between us."

She glared at him, and Castiel nodded, mouth open.

"I... of course."

Meg swore softly.

"One more thing." She said." I’ll try everything, but if I don’t find anything, you have to promise me you won’t try to get a name anymore. Do we have a deal?"

Castiel closed his mouth in a discreet snap before taking his friend’s last words into consideration. Finally, he nodded again.

"I promise you." He said seriously.

"Good." Meg sighed. "You’ll owe me one, angel."

A smile appeared again on Castiel’s face, more tender this time, his heart still playing up its own behind the scar of his chest.

"Thank you, Meg." He whispered.

"Shuddup." She grumbled with a wink before her pager rang in the room.

In no time, she waved at him and disappeared in the corridor, taking the empty wagon with her. Castiel went back to his bed with a light smile on his face. Yes, Meg was a good friend.

* * *

November

Meg’s research had still not yielded anything even a month after Castiel left the hospital. Although he was now alone again in his large apartment, there was something exhilarating about being able to live normally as if he had not nearly died a few months ago. Finding a job at the florist in his town had been the first step in his new life as he slowly resumed a normal social life with his friends and family.

His own search had also given nothing and the inbox of the website that could put him in contact with his donor’s family remained hopelessly empty. Nevertheless, Castiel did not get the idea out of his head. He often dreamed of meeting these strangers, of the words he would say to them if they had the chance to do so.

It was during a cold November evening, while he was bundled up in a plaid on his couch in front of a TV show, that Castiel’s cellphone rang. It was not something particularly unusual, but the late hour of the evening immediately gave this call something special. When he reached out to his phone, he could see Meg’s name on the screen.

"Hello?" He said, picking up, his heartbeat accelerating.

"Hi Clarence." Meg, a net of excitement in the voice, hastily replied. "Tell me you’re sitting, handsome, I’d hate to hear you fall on your ass because of what I’m about to tell you."

At this, Castiel straightened up in the sofa, his heart going up his throat.

"I’m sitting." He simply said, his fingers tightening around his phone.

"Okay, because I have something for you!" Meg hummed. "The info cost me at least three boxes of chocolate and the promise of a date to the shady guy in the operating room. You know, the one who keeps wearing Britney Spears t-shirts under his blouses? He’d be doing karaoke parties with the girl from the fourth floor that I wouldn’t even be surprised at-

"Meg." Castiel impatiently cut her off.

"Yes, yes. All this to say that he knows who approved your transplant application. So…" She said with pride, leaving a second of silence to settle her effect. I know where your little heart comes from and how to reach out to the family!"

At once, Castiel felt the air blocked in his throat. These words, he had waited for them for months while everything gradually turned into a crazy and inaccessible hope. Suddenly, through a simple phone call, Meg had just remade his world.

"Are you certain?" He finally asked, with a short breath.

"Oh, Clarence, please! Don’t you trust your favorite nurse anymore?" Meg laughed immediately.

Castiel shook his head, a bit stunned. Meg resumed.

"I sent you everything by e-mail, you must have received it." She said with malice. "But remember: keep it under your hat pretty boy. You don’t know me."

"Yes, I... of course." Castiel stuttered, rising to rush towards his computer.

"Hey." Meg called him through the phone, her voice softer. "I know it’s important to you, but… take the time to assimilate the information, okay? You don’t have to contact them tonight."

Castiel knew she was right, but the excitement was in his chest. However, he took the time to thank Meg warmly and invite her to dinner next week before hanging up. A few minutes later he had his eyes fixed on a brand new e-mail in his inbox. Castiel took a great inspiration. He had waited so long for this moment that, now that he was faced with a fait accompli, he was almost afraid to go for it.

Finally, he found the courage to click on the screen. His eyes quickly passed over her friend’s introductory text before fixating on a name written in bold as well as a lot of personal information listed just below. Reading these few lines, Castiel felt his heart racing again.

Samuel William Winchester

Born: March 2, 1983, in Lawrence, Kansas

Died: September 13, 2006, in Des Moines, Iowa

Cause: Head injury, road accident

Blood type: O negative

Applicant for organ donation: Yes

Organ removed: Heart

The data sheet thus continued in a professional coldness that affected Castiel slightly as he felt his throat tightening. His donor was only 23 when he died. He read every piece of information carefully before he got to the part he was most interested in.

Contact person in case of problem: Dean Winchester

Donor affiliation: older brother

Castiel felt his hands become sweaty as his gaze slid over the address and telephone number of Dean Winchester. A heavy silence filled his apartment, Castiel still unable to detach his gaze from this decisive email.

That’s it. The family of his donor was only a phone call away and he could finally thank the entourage of his savior. However, with this crucial information came a bitter feeling that Castiel had not apprehended. He remained all night pacing in his living room, his eyes regularly returning to the phone number taunting him from the screen of his computer.

* * *

December

Three months. Three long months since his little brother had disappeared in a car accident, leaving him and their parents in the grip of nameless sadness. He could barely breathe most of the time thinking of that youthful face he would never see again.

Dean passed a tired hand over his face as he walked past the windows of an umpteenth shop decorated with trees and garlands. Celebrating Christmas seemed absurd, totally meaningless in such a context. What’s the point if he can’t see Sammy’s jaded face in front of his usual porn magazine that he buys especially for him every year, for the joke? His world has been tasteless for far too long now.

Mary managed to keep her head above water half the time, calling him every day to hear from him, to which Dean responded with as many reassuring words as he could. Everyone knew that most of them sounded empty, but they could only pretend to be okay these past few months. Dean was wondering if the pain would eventually go away. He was told yes. He doubted that. John, on the other hand, drank a little more every day and Dean felt guilty about leaving his mother with him all day, regardless of Mary’s reassuring words.

The ground seemed to collapse under his feet as Dean looked for a way out. The truth is, he didn’t know how to do it without breaking everything around him. His days passed one after the other in a sickly similarity: work, eat, reassure, start again. He no longer had his stupid little brother to listen to his stories, no one to share his Friday night evenings with and who would be there to support him in any situation. He had his friends left, but, honestly, no one could understand him like Sam did for 23 years.

An umpteenth sigh passed through the barrier of his lips when a rock-like music rose out of his pocket. Already worried that it was still his mother, Dean took out his cell phone. Unknown number. He raised an eyebrow and picked up.

"Hello?" He said in a hoarse voice.

The line remained silent and Dean frowned. He could hear a breath at the other end of the line, so he tried again.

"Hello?"

"Oh, uh, yes! Hello, sir, uh, Dean?" An uncertain voice immediately answered with a short breath and tangled words.

Dean raised an eyebrow. Had he given his phone number to anyone recently? Not to his knowledge in any case, he very rarely went outside the garage in which he worked. Curious, Dean turned into a quiet street to concentrate on his interlocutor.

"Who am I speaking with?" He asked with a hint of sarcasm.

The man on the other side of the phone seemed to take a breath before resuming in an equally nervous tone.

"I’m sorry, we don’t really know each other. I am aware that my call may be unwelcome, in fact I hesitated for a long time before contacting you." The man stuttered.

Dean sighed.

"Well, listen, if it’s to sell me something then I’m not interested, thank you."

"No!" The man quickly added. "No, I don’t want to sell you anything. I…" Another inspiration."My name is Castiel Novak. I live in Waterloo. I know this is going to sound weird, but… I received your brother Samuel’s heart."

Dean remained silent for a long time, trying to assimilate each of the words he had just heard. At the sound of Sam’s name, he thought he was dying a bit more. A kind of thud rose in his ears, so that he thought he had fallen into a pool while he was not paying attention to his steps. Besides, Dean wasn’t even sure where he was, now standing still in the middle of the street. Only a deep and sizzling voice gradually emerged from his torpor.

"I am sorry." Castiel went on after a long silence. "I’ve taken the liberty of contacting you, but I can assure you that I don’t want to cause you any more trouble than that." He seemed to be searching for his words for a moment." I know I could never thank Samuel for his gesture, but... your brother saved my life. I just wanted to let you know how grateful I was, even though I couldn’t replace what you lost. If there’s anything I can do to help, it would be my pleasure. However, I also understand that you would never want to hear from me again... But I can assure you that I will take care of his heart. Samuel really did a lot of good in my life and with my loved ones." 

Castiel started to mutter, as if he was suddenly deeply embarrassed by this phone call. Dean was convinced that he had to send back the image of a man ravaged by grief right now, his arms swaying and his gaze lost.

"Sam." He finally replied in a trembling voice. Dean took the time to clear his throat before continuing. "He preferred to be called Sam."

"Okay." Castiel said after another moment of hesitation. "Well… Sam really is a hero to me, Dean, I wanted you to know that."

Dean nodded stupidly, no matter how Castiel couldn’t see him. He felt that the sky had just fallen on his head, he felt completely disoriented. Of course Sammy was a hero, the rest of humanity didn’t even know how lucky they were to be around him. Dean knew that Sam had donated his organs, he had even given everything he could, because he was like that. But knowing that the heart was beating in someone else’s body, giving them a chance to continue to live and breathe… It was something he hadn’t really thought about until then.

"I’m going to leave you, I’m sorry I interfered in your life like this." Castiel apologized again. "I will not call this number again, I promise. I hope everything will be all right for your family, sincerely."

Dean’s heart skipped a beat and his muscles began to move, pushing him to almost scream on the phone.

"No, wait!" Realizing that Castiel had still not hung up, Dean quieted down, a shiver in his voice. "I don’t even know how you found this number, but… Well, it doesn’t matter. You’re from Waterloo? Iowa?

"Yes." Castiel said. "I’m about a two-hour drive from Des Moines. I don’t know if you live nearby, but-

"Des Moines, yeah." Dean replied, stunned. How did this guy know so much about Sam, he thought that the organ donation was anonymous? "Would you be available to meet in the week?"

An umpteenth silence answered his question and, frankly, Dean himself did not know why he had asked it. Maybe he was holding on to a ghost, a hopeless, senseless hope of finding something that once belonged to Sam. But what else did he have to lose now?

"… Are you going to punch me in the face if I say yes?" Castiel asked with distrust.

Surprisingly, it snatched a small laugh from Dean who barely recognized the sound of his voice. He hadn’t laughed that easily in weeks now.

"No." He answered. "I just want to talk, if that’s okay?"

He didn’t know what to think of this situation, it was too surreal. Was he angry with this man? No, not really. Sad? Maybe, but nothing new. Curious? Certainly. There were so many questions that now turned in his mind, almost stunning him. Never before had he heard a similar story and, yes, he was driven to the unknown by the despair of that mourn which he had never ended. But to hell with it, he needed to feel Sam’s heart beating against his hand again.

"Okay, I’d love to, then. What’s your schedule?"

Dean felt a piece of his soul warming up.

* * *

January

Their first encounter had definitely been strange and completely atypical. They had arranged to meet in a café halfway between their two cities, and despite a tense start, Dean and Castiel had talking much of the afternoon. Dean had been biting his tongue all along so he wouldn’t ask the fateful question of "excuse me, can we stop talking so I can put my hand against your heart?". But Castiel had finally come to the point by asking him if he could tell him about Sam and things had been done naturally. It was as if someone had opened the floodgates and quickly, Dean was unable to stop the incessant flow of words about his little brother. He told him the most important thing, from his childhood memories to that weird tic that Sam had every time he was upset.

Castiel had then smiled softly at each of his anecdotes and, when Dean had finally been allowed to feel this pulsating heart against his hand, Castiel had not moved. Dean was almost certain that he had let slip a strangled exclamation, but Castiel had just contented himself with that sweet and understanding look. At the end of their appointment, they had agreed to meet again. They both needed it.

The month of February began on another encounter at the park this time, at Des Moines. The winter was still rough and persistent this year, so they had decided to go and enjoy a hot chocolate near the pond. Dean hadn’t told his parents about it, not yet, but this meeting with Castiel did him as much good as the first. When he returned home, he found himself feeling much lighter than before.

They did not wait until the following month to meet again, and their third meeting took place in Waterloo this time. Castiel had invited him to dinner at a restaurant he called "the best in town" and Dean could not possibly say no to the prospect of a good meal.

March hosted their first meeting in a private place. Dean had taken care to clean up the mess from top to bottom before Castiel rang his doorbell and, seeing the huge bouquet of flowers that his friend had brought him, an easy smile spread over his face. Easy. It was the right word to define Castiel. Everything was easy with him, obvious and sweet. He never judged him, no matter what topic of conversation he decided to share with him. Castiel listened and supported and Dean had not felt so free and understood since at least 6 months now. One evening, he even wildly wondered if Sam’s heart had not completely taken possession of Castiel to make him this radiant and exceptional person. Until then, Dean had never known anyone but his brother who could read him like an open book.

In April and several appointments later, however, Dean understood that it was not really a fraternal connection he shared with Castiel. He learned to dwell more on the looks and gestures exchanged. Everything was crazy, insane, but once again, everything had always been crazy between them, and this from the first day.

May marked the beginning of a mental breakdown for Dean. He was definitely falling in love with his now best friend and that terrified him. What if he was wrong? What if the fear of losing sight of the only thing that still connected him to his deceased brother led him to feel faked feelings for Castiel? He had no right to be wrong here, he could not make his friend suffer, for he was too stubborn and miserable to properly analyze his own feelings. His cowardice pushed him away from Castiel — "to avoid making him suffer," he said — and the deep despair that this created in each of them was almost as hard as a second mourning. Almost.

Despite his best efforts not to hurt his best friend, June began with a considerable argument. Castiel felt rightfully unfairly rejected, and Dean could not bring himself to pronounce the words that burned his throat. However, neither of them expressed themselves more when Castiel, after a final overwhelming exclamation, brutally kissed Dean’s lips. The latter greeted him with a sob before deepening their kiss. No, Dean did not only love that beating heart in his chest… He had fallen in love with so much more.

July and August passed at an alarming speed as each of the two men discovered another facet of the other. Castiel had met Dean’s parents and Dean had not seen his mother so happy for a long time now. However, the one-year date of Sam’s accident was fast approaching and Dean could not ignore the weight it added to his shoulders. Little by little, Sam’s heart had become Castiel’s one in his eyes and his boyfriend was gradually filling the void that he felt deep inside him, but this dammed month of September was now taunting him every day on the calendar.

"Would you like to put your head against my chest?" Castiel once proposed as they both prepare to go to bed.

Dean froze, air jammed in his lungs.

"What?" He asked, stunned. He wasn’t sure if he heard correctly.

Castiel smiled softly, as always, before taking his hand in his.

"Just tonight." He replied, as if that explains everything.

And without really understanding how, Dean nodded and lay down with Castiel. Docilely, he had let his companion draw him to himself until his ear rested against the scar of his chest. Some breathing later, Dean was able to discern the beats under the mutilated skin and the world stopped spinning. He remained there for hours, his eyes open but lost in nostalgia and stifling emotion. He was alive and well, determined not to disappear. Not this time. When Dean began to cry silently, Castiel simply hugged him harder to comfort him, without a word. This was so precious to him. It quickly became their favorite position, Dean kissing the scar whenever he could.

September passed by in a bitter sweet atmosphere that neither Dean nor Castiel regretted sharing together. One evening in October, bundled up under the duvet to fight off a new winter, Dean could not take his eyes off the blue gaze smiling back. He thought of what his last months had been, what he had lost, but also what he had found. In front of him, Castiel squeezed the hand on his chest while breathing the same warm air as his partner. Their heart rate was calm and painless.

"I love you." Dean huffed at the bend of another tender smile.

At his words, Dean felt Castiel’s heart miss a beat under his palm and maybe, just maybe, was this the way his brother told him how happy he was for him.

* * * @winchester-reload

I hope you enjoyed it! I would really like to develop other moments like their first meeting or the evolution of their friendship until they become a couple. However, I had only one day to write and I had to make choices :). I am proud of this work but also rather doubtful of the final result so, if you liked it, please take the time to leave me a quick review in the comments. It would mean a lot to me. Thanks again for reading to the end, see you tomorrow!

You can find the whole series on Ao3

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[ofstarsandfireflies]

Here we are again! This time with a Ghibli movie! Yes, how could I forget Howl’s moving castle?

@ffic-lurker read my mind and asked me to do this movie. Great minds think alike!

Here we go!

Howl’s Moving Castle

Young girl gets cursed to be old and falls in love with Christian Bale.

Stephen is the Sorcerer Supreme, living in his Sanctum on legs as a war between the Sorcerers of Kamar-Taj and the army of regular soldiers who thinks they have too much power begins to escalate.

He shares this abode with his apprentice, Peter, a snappy fire demon named Wong, and a sentient cloak who has a hefty curse on it which he is trying to break, all the while running from summons from both sides of the war he is sworn to protect.

Stephen only fights for himself.

He only uses his magic for himself, to make himself irresistible and highly sought after by everyone, not for anyone else.

So when he is walking through the streets filled with soldiers and hears a man yell out to be left alone down some alley, he finds himself intrigued.

He slips his arm over the shoulder of the man in front of him who was yelling at a soldier and a little magic here and there has the uptight captain marching away.

This is when he gets a good look at his companion, Tony Stark.

A young man in his early to mid twenties from the looks of him, desirable brown eyes and almost as beautiful as himself.

Stephen is many things, and has made an extremely deplorable name for himself for all of them, but he knows this man is now in danger because of him and decides to help Tony to his destination.

And that is when the shadows come.

With the cloak on his shoulders, it lifts himself and Tony into the air and they walk over the bustling city streets unnoticed, Stephen learning Tony’s name before he departs into the crowds.

Tony knows the stories that follow the Sorcerer Supreme, and he knows that Stephen only goes after pretty girls, so no matter how concerned Pepper is about him, he knew he was in no danger with him.

After visiting his friend and making his way back home to where his workshop is attached hoping to work on his armour once more tonight, a customer comes in, even though Tony could have sworn he locked that door.

The customer is Clea, a witch with strong powers over illusions and forces one of these spells onto Tony, giving the appearance of himself at the age of sixty.

Clea is interested in why Stephen helped Tony, thinking he liked Tony’s young looks so by taking that away from him, Stephen has no obligation to help him anymore now.

Tony decides to seek out the Sorcerer Supreme and get him to help him break this spell, leaving his home to go up into the mountains where the hideous moving construction was last seen.

As the night wears on and it gets colder and colder, Tony finds the cloak snagged in a bush and remembers it belongs to the wizard he’s looking for.

The cloak thanks him by taking him to the Sanctum’s location, where Tony meets Wong, who often complains about having to do all the work but appreciates it when Tony begins to make his life easier, unlike Stephen.

Peter is all too happy to have another human like him in the Sanctum, having just introduced himself when the door becomes a glowing ring and Stephen Strange steps out of it.

And doesn’t recognise Tony, or at the very least gives off the impression he doesn’t.

But Stephen knows.

He knows those brown eyes and he knows who did this to him.

He knows how jealous she can get and how she wants him all to herself.

And he knows his magic is not strong enough to remove this illusion, that only Tony can do it.

But Tony can’t. For whatever reason it is to break the curse, it’s sticking around a lot longer than it should have.

Stephen leaves almost immediately and Tony decides to clean up seeming how he has nothing else to do.

It’s only after Tony has been obsessively cleaning the bathroom that he gets a taste of how terrorfying Stephen’s powers can truly be.

Having washed out Stephen’s comb with something he thought to be a glass of water, the hair at the sides of his temples where he combed first turn an instant hot pink.

Tony is trying not to laugh while apologising as this grown ass man in nothing but a towel is having a break down when the hair turns white, and Tony tries to complement him, saying it suits him.

And them the Sanctum gets darker, and darker, and the skin around Stephen’s eyes begins to almost crystliase and Peter and Wong both try to snap him out of it because now is not the time to be summoning a dark entity and Tony is more angry than scared of what is happening because Stephen’s good looks have somehow been ruined when he’s the one with this curse on him and storms out.

The cloak is there once again, wrapping around Tony to comfort him and Tony, along with Peter, get Stephen cleaned up and into bed.

When Stephen wakes up, he tells Tony about how he’s been summoned as Sorcerer Supreme to fight on both sides when he doesn’t want to fight for either.

Tony says maybe he should tell them this instead of running and Stephen gets some hair brained idea that Tony can go see Kaluu in Kamar-Taj in his place as his father.

Tony would rather not, he doesn’t know if this Kaluu would be able to see through this curse of not, but Stephen seems to have perked up so he agrees.

Wondering how the hell someone twenty years his junior can act as someone twenty years his senior when they now look the same age, Tony sets off alone to speak with Kaluu and when he gets there, runs into Clea.

Clea seems to be quite entertained by the fact Tony still hasn’t broken the curse she placed on him, but it’s short lived as the carriage she’s riding in comes to an abrupt halt.

She has to progress on foot as energies drawn from the Dark Dimension can not be used in Kamar-Taj.

And the further she walks, the more haggard and weak she becomes, Tony having to turn back and help her the rest of the way because her energy is so drained.

They finally make it, Clea almost unconscious in Tony’s arms with his back killing him, but he brings her inside and sits her down in a chair when he hears someone call for a “Mister Strange.”

He tells Kaluu that Stephen isn’t coming, and he looks almost sad as he tells him what Stephen has become and shows him what has become of Clea, who is now an old woman.

Tony is angered by this, and as he speaks about Stephen and how he doesn’t need Kaluu’s help, the illusion begins to break.

And once Kaluu knows that he’s in love with Stephen, it reverts back.

This is when Stephen shows up, keeping his vow to report when summoned but he’s just there to get Tony out safely.

So Kaluu decides to show Tony exactly what Stephen is.

Feathers start growing out of his skin, his hands become claws digging into Tony’s shoulder and large wings sprout from his back as his magic surrounds them and all it takes is Tony calling Stephen’s name to get him to snap out of his transformation and fly the three of them out of there.

Tony is absolutely furious with Stephen, demanding to know why he made Tony go in his place if he was going to show up anyway so Stephen tells him that having Tony there gave him the courage to go himself before throwing Tony and Clea through a portal to the Sanctum.

That night, while Stephen still hasn’t returned, Tony has a nightmare about what Stephen’s powers had tried to turn him into, what they are doing to him, how they’re feeding off of his humanity and will ultimately cause him to lose it.

Tony won’t let that happen.

His own curse be damned, he won’t let Stephen become a monster like so many before him.

Tony tries to get Wong to talk about what is happening to Stephen and how to stop it, but Wong can’t say.

Just as Tony’s threatening to dump a bucket of water on the fire demon, Stephen comes in, looking much happier than he ever has in a long time.

He uses his magic for his growing family, making the Sanctum bigger and giving them a place in Tony’s old city with his old shop next to it so he has a place to work and do what he loved doing before meeting Stephen.

Inside is the armour he’s been building for years, sitting there as if it were waiting for him to return.

And the spell starts to break again.

Tony looks much younger, although his beard hasn’t gone away, and Tony knows Stephen is up to something.

He knows Stephen is going to leave them and is just setting them up so they can live comfortably without him and Tony’s self doubt about being unworthy of Stephen’s affections make the spell age him again.

Days pass and Stephen still hasn’t come back to them.

Tony busies himself in his workshop, building up his suit, refusing to hardly come out for anybody or anything.

One night, as Tony is making sure Clea doesn’t need anything else, she tells him she knows he’s in love.

And hearing it from her, making him realise to himself that he still is, even though the one holding his affections has left them, is what finally breaks the spell.

But it doesn’t matter anymore.

And that is when everything goes horribly wrong.

Mindless dark creatures Tony now knows to be wizards who have lost their humanity begin attacking the city and people, destroying buildings and setting everything on fire.

The army is outmatched and call in an air strike as Peter and Tony try to fight them off.

As they’re being surrounded and the bomb is dropped, a huge blast knocks them all back as Stephen appears, his body still resembling that of a human’s despite all the feathers growing out of it with just his face left untouched, the bomb remaining dead due to Stephen’s magic having messed with it.

Stephen apologises to him for not getting to them sooner, and Tony helps him inside, just relieved that he’s still alive.

Clea is the first to state how strange it is for Stephen not to be running away anymore, and when Stephen says he’ll protect them, Tony grabs him.

He knows they only just survived because of Stephen and that he can’t possibly hold them all off by himself and stop all the bombs and protect them at the same time.

He wants them to run, but Stephen won’t.

He has something he wants to protect now.

He has Tony.

Tony is not going to sit around while Stephen goes off and gets himself killed or worse, so he does the only thing he can think of.

He makes Wong take them back to the moving Sanctum and cut their ties with their new place so Stephen will stop trying to protect it.

With the Sanctum in ruins around them, Tony needs to get back to Stephen, but Wong can’t do it by himself. He needs something of Tony’s and the only thing Tony has on him is his life’s work, his armour.

He gives it up immediately and watches it melt away and become Wong’s power, moving a good chunk of the Sanctum out of all the debris to the almost destroyed city.

And things are going well until Clea realises that Stephen’s heart is within her reach.

She dives for it, the fire consuming her.

As Tony wrestles for the heart, their little Sanctum coming apart, he realises that it isn’t burning him like it is Clea and manages to break it free from her grasp.

He holds it close and talks to it, asking Stephen to find them and he does. His transformation is almost complete, his face almost consumed, but when he collapses on their rickety little platform and all the dark feathers blow away to reveal the man beneath them, Tony knows he’s not too late.

Returning his heart to him frees Wong and destroys what is left of the Sanctum, Peter using the magic he has learnt to save them from going over a cliff face to their deaths.

As they celebrate not dying, Stephen finally wakes up trying to figure out what the hell happened to him, he realises that Tony has finally broken his curse, and comments how the beard suits him, Tony flinging himself into his arms.

Wong decides to stay with them and they rebuild the Sanctum for the three of them to live in.

Cue credits as they kiss 😊

Quotes -

“I'm very sorry to hear that.

Howl was the last apprentice I ever took on.

I've never seen such a gifted student.

I was thrilled to have finally found someone talented enough to replace me.

Then on day, his heart was stolen by a demon, he never returned to complete his apprenticeship, and from that day forward, he has been using his magic for entirely selfish reasons.”

Kaluu speaking to Tony about Stephen.

“You're scaring me, I have this weird feeling that you're going to leave.

Howl, tell me what's going on.

Please, I don't care if you're a monster.”

Tony trying to tell Stephen how he feels but it still not being enough.

“Sorry, I've had enough of running away, Sophie.

And now, I've got something I wanna protect.

It's you.”

Stephen to Tony when he tries to stop him from leaving.

“Help! Help! Crazy lady with a shovel!”

Tony going after Wong with a coal shovel to get him out of the heath? Yeah you know that shit went down.

Run with me -

Stephen has been running from responsibilities which are slowly tearing the world apart, but his running away leads him to run into someone who gives him reason to stop and fight.

This is one of my favourite Ghibli movies, but this list won’t be just animated movies.

Or just love stories.

See you guys tomorrow!

Missed Day 1?

#ironstrange #tony stark #stephen strange #OSAF’s Movie Night