#deppressing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pleensoft · 1 year

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Right person, wrong time

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junkerd0 · 7 months

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you know who you are

You always stare Down to my soul No thoughts or prayers As you fill this hole Watch as you tear Makes me unwhole Beg to be spared This is your goal

Never felt held I lay here and cry Just to be impelled This is just another lie Starting to be repelled Why even try Just to get yelled This is my goodbye

#original poem #poetry #poem #lyrics #dark #doom #deppressing

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miktodebil · 7 months

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you're losing me (ftv)

"do something babe, say something"

#taylor swift #midnights #vault #youre losing me #sad #him #love #deppresion #deppressing #song #taylor #swift #midnight #people pleaser #pathological people pleaser #heartbeat

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i-have-a-thing-for-the-dark · 1 year

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They never tell you how much it hurts when you let someone in and they tear you apart.

#deppressing #deppressing quote #alone #hurt #depressed #im hurting

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lucentcree · 1 year

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The Last Letter to You. -Chapter 1: Always and Forever.

Hello, darling.

I've written enough letters. Id like to call this my last one. I suppose it's getting kind of old now, no? the same things getting repeated over and over again... things like, "You're not here by my side anymore.", "Why did you leave me?", "Why did you have to go?", as if someone, or something, was going to give it to be straight. As if they tell me to just get over you already. But truth is.. I cant. I can't and I never will. I loved you more than I could have loved anything more in this world, for you were my first love.

Did you ever feel the same? Because as soon as I thought you were my forever, the love you gave me was over in an instant, like you couldn't wait to get over it all. And to think that what we have was true.

This whole situation will always be like a funny dream turned into my worst nightmare.

Oh, the courage you must have had to do that kind of thing. To stand on the thick railing of the building roof top, look down, and feel the wind threatening to push you over the edge, and yet, you held on strong. You waited. You waited until the moment I got there and begged you to grab my hand. Why didn't you hold it?..

Even now, I still remember every single little detail. The events repeat over and over in my darkened mind. The look in your eyes was so peaceful, and yet so sad. And with your sadness came my starvation, from the moment I watched you fall, to the moment, to when I ran down the building stairs and hand you in my arms again. That moment felt like it should have been happy. We should have been laughing, loving. But.. You were painted with red. I was too. The floor was stained with my tears and your Blood.

Why did the elevator have to break down that exact day? Did you really walk 3 flights of stairs to say good bye to me?

Even if I did remember every single little moment, even if I was the most truthful person on this planet, like god himself, it doesn't excuse me from the fact I'm here in jail. Because even God had to lie a little for the faith of the people. So here I am, as I sit here in my jail cell, top bunk, writing in a notebook that almost finished. Another one to add to the collection right?

Each page filled with my pain, sadness. People have tried reading it, but gave up after the first page. Too "depressing" as if losing the love of your life to suicide was supposed to be a moment to rejoice. Ever since the day someone told me that, I refused for anyone to know my story. Ill forever be known as a killer. Honestly, I feel like a killer.

I haven't seen the sun properly in 19 years since your death, maybe because I refuse to look at it. I refuse to feel happy again. To feel the warmth on my face now, feels like a horrible sin. The officers make me go outside, to the court and get active, but I'm always in the corner, continuing to write to you, thinking that maybe.. Somehow, you can read all of them. I want you to know how you made me feel. I want you to know how even now, I'm still in love with you. These feeling as if you were still alive, waiting for me.

Holding your lifeless body made me feel so disgusted in myself, shaking you restlessly, as if maybe you were just quietly resting, and I was calling you up for breakfast, like we always used to do. But you weren't waking up. You didn't greet me with a smile and a kiss on the cheek like you used too. Do you remember the breakfast in bed I used to make for you when you overslept? Did that mean anything to you?

I take blame for your death, and I'll do it over and over until the day I die. Why? Because it was all my fault. Your death will always be my fault. I wasn't there when you needed me.

Your pain is all mine to blame.

That's why I told the cops it was me. All me. I'm the one who pushed you over the edge, and regrated it so I went back down to you. Yet, that isn't , and never will be the truth.

I've repeated this in my past letters, and I still can't get over saying it. I love you. I love you, I love you. I love you with everything in my heart.

Do you know why I did this? Why I took the blame? Because I just.. I can't let people perceive you as the definition of sadness. How could I? it's not you. No. you were happiness. Everywhere you went you always found a way to make any stranger smile, from your friendly jokes, to yours funny remarks... why would I want the people to know how sad you really were? I don't want them to remember you like that darling. Never.

Seeing you dead, seeing you pained to the core, from the moment we started dating, and the moment you said yes. That sorrow, has always killed me inside. Why did you always put on a happy face? Did you not think you were worthy of sadness? Did you think you didn't deserve it? You were worthy of everything and more. Yet you never once wanted to show me your sadness.

I remember talking to you before you fell. How could I forget? You didn't even cry.

"Jenny, honey, please.. Just grab my hand."

"I just need to find out darling."

"what do you want to find out? I'll tell you anything. Please..."

I remember my tears blurring my vision, and I was beginning to wipe my tears.

"have you ever wondered if the grass really is greener on the other side?"

And just like that. You were gone as I opened my eyes.

Why couldn't I make you happy? Didn't I try hard enough? Did I not love you enough? All these questions make me go into a daze of anxiety and paranoid thoughts. I wonder what you meant when you said that, if you said that to scare me, I'm trying so hard to hold on darling, I really am.

Do you feel content where you are? Do you feel happy now that you're not by my side? That im not there to hold your hand...

Is it really greener over there?

why couldn't I just join you, I want too. Wherever you are, whether its heaven, or hell. Or in the void.. Anywhere. As long as it's with you. You broke my heart until it was too shattered to even put back together, and only you're the one id allow the time to put it back together, so. Why am I holding back? Honestly, part of me still hopes you can come and see me. Kiss me on my head and tell me I'm alright, because I'm at my limit.

20 years in prison doesn't feel fair enough.. Does it? How could I continue to be happy and live a life of content when my happiness was taken away from me? I'm already 45.

People keep telling me I still have my whole life ahead of me, and I shouldn't spend all this jail time writing. They tell me I should try programs and begin to put my life together before I'm out, but, honestly I can't see how I can keep going in the real world. Every time I try to imagine it, I can only see that moment, your bloody face, my tears staining it. And the world beginning to color with red.

Where's the beauty in the world when it was taken away from me?

Everything feel so dull now.

I spent my prison time writing, filling notebooks and notebooks, filling a collection I never want to go over and read again. I write, and yet I never feel any better.

This is my last letter to you, my hands feel sore and I feel tired, and yet, I don't want to rest, I don't want to sleep. I want to be with you. I've gone 19 years, 6 months, and 23 days since the last time I held you in my arms.

I want to feel your warmth, I want to see your pretty face. I want to hear you tell me you love me again.

I want to enjoy the pretty green grass you told me about.

Even if it means leaving a real world, and leaving all the people I met on earth, I'll always go to you.

As I write this final paragraph, I have a small container of bleach. something i took from when i was told to clean the bathrooms. As I hold this, a flush of memories of you and me rush over me.

I'm scared to drink this, I admit. but I know I'll see you. I don't know what death is like. But I hope its you. For it has always been you.

I'll drink this like wine, a nice delicious one. Remember those tastings we used to go to? you'd smile and say. "this is the one."

I drink for you, for us, and In hope I can return to your presence, for you are my one and only Jenny. My one and only Beloved.

See you later, George.

#writing #emotional #story #sad #romance #unrequited love #deppressing #popular #trending

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femwizard · 1 year

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I got hurt at work

Except I didn't really get hurt at work

I got hurt practicing my skills and building the strength to go back to work

And then I got hurt more working too much

Well now I can't work

I have a good job

I make good money

I'm (almost, kinda, maybe gonna be) in a union

They fought hard for protections for us

They built systems the state failed to to support us

That's why we pay our dues

That's why we accept seniority and work for their contracts

That's why we put up with industry standards and unreliable staffing

Where are they now

Who knows

My friend got hurt at work

Except it wasnt really at work

She was born wrong

Despite the valiant efforts of her mother and doctors

She was born wrong

And now? There's no escape, but to keep trying

Throwing ourselves against the wall and grinning and beating the pain until we earn our place at the table

Surely it will only be a couple more weeks, months, years, who knows

We aren't supposed to be here

We are supposed to go to school, and get trained, and work our way up in the industry, and by the time we reach the halls in which we sit we are supposed to know how to do everything right and be welcomed with open arms and juicy contracts

We were supposed to live a dream set out for us by generations of violence and suffering

But then everyone died and the ones who didn't either ran for the hills or couldn't have been bothered to trudge through door after door after door slammed in their face

So here we sit, the only ones left

But they don't thank us for being here, they tell us to shovel shit, shit up, figure everything out ourselves, and good luck surviving because that's what they did to be where they are

I'm out of work for a week

Hopefully I will be able to get help

Hopefully there will be a net I can fall into and find some way to keep feeding tickets into the machine

To keep everything running so those precious few can keep basking in lights they'll never have to understand

And when I can't find any more tickets I will be too broken and tired to do anything but lay in my grave

#tldr im sad #tw #this shit is like #super #deppressing #me #mine

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jeremymoring · 11 days

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#j7 #feelme #deppression #rabia #cute boy #wlw tag #ddlg!ethan #own story #vest

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vixensofdeath · 5 months

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I disassociate the whole day then wonder why I don’t remember anything

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daily-jadeharl3y · 29 days

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THIRTY FIVE

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betweenmee · 2 years

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pleensoft · 2 months

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maybe I don’t deserve love

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junkerd0 · 6 months

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D.I.M.D.

Speak before As we become one. I will guide This desolate journey.

Drift and jerk As you are dragged Deep in earth They don’t know where

Disappearance Irresolence Melancholisch Disconsolance

You are gone Far ‘way from others Watch in awe As we morph in one

See the pill Fingered between life Oh so small Yet so powerful

Disappearance Irresolence Melancholisch Disconsolance

With the belt That would beat the tyke Held in hand The neck only bends

Fastened up The feet touch the air A blue sky With spots of ugly gray

#lyrics #doom #original poem #poem #deppressing #suicidal #poet #music

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devoble · 7 months

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I want to die , it will never get better no matter what I do. I already know well what a despicable and pathetic person I am.

#vent #tw deppressing stuff #tw depression #depressing shit #tw self destructive thoughts #kinda depressing #tw self destruction #mentally exhausted #depressing life #tw self destructive behavior

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neptunes-saddest-alien · 4 months

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From the bottom of my worthless heart, I genuinely don’t know if I can survive another year.

#i really don’t #i’m terrified #tired #exhausted #deppressed #numb #mentally tired #lonliness #pathetic #worthless #sad thoughts #passively suicidal #suicidal ideation #suicidal #hurt #empty #tired of living

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crushedcoffeeberries · 2 years

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vixensofdeath · 8 months

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I wish I could just disappear and become nothing else ever again

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