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huffelpuff210 · 20 days

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Taken Car of Soft Dark Steve Rogers x Soft Dark Bucky Barnes x Reader

Taken Care of Soft Dark Steve Rogers x Soft Dark Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You suffered the loss of a still born baby, You are best friends with the two super soliders, but what happens when they come to comfort you

Warning: Mentions of a loss of a baby, mentions of depression, mentions of drinking, baby trapping, breeding kink, forced relationship, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, Non Con

You stare out the window of your small town house home, a blanket draped over your shoulders as you watch the snow fall, a small cup of hot chocolate in your hands, you catch a gimps of your refection, your hair a knotted mess, dark circles under your eyes, your eyes puffy from all the crying,

It had been three months, since it happened, you close your eyes at the memory when you first found out you were pregnant you were so thrilled, you were excited at the thought of being a mom,

You didn’t really have any parental figures growing up your parents died when you were ten, and you jumped foster homes, running away at just fifteen, learning to survive when you realized you had a talent for hacking and building stuff,

At age eighteen you were recruited by Tony Stark and shield Now only twenty two you had an amazing job and place to call home, that’s where you met Steve and Bucky, you and the two super soliders were close,

You met your ex boyfriend at the nearby coffee shop on your break, the two of you dated for about a year and a half when you found out about being pregnant he was less than thrilled about the news, when you told the two super soliders Bucky told you he was a dick and needed to be taught a lesson, Steve on the other hand said he didn’t deserve you, But still He was trying sort of, his first reaction was for you to abort the baby, but that was not how you worked, the two of you fought for two weeks about the situation,

When he realized you were not going to do that he left you, you didn’t care, you were so happy to be having a baby, setting up your spare room as a nursery,

You wipe a tear away from your cheek,

You were 39 weeks, when you got your ultrasound finding out that he wasn’t moving, they did an emergency C-Section and he was still born, Meaning he wasn’t alive. It broke your heart, you knew it was from all the stress your Ex had put on you.

You took a leave of absence from the avengers for the time being, they understood, Steve and Bucky had been away on a mission when everything happened, no one was allowed to call them since they were undercover and you didn’t want to frankly,

Everyone tried calling you or coming by to at least check on you but you never answered, you just didn’t have the heart to talk about how you were,

You were a mess, your home was a mess, you no longer ate, or slept, all you could think about was losing him, your child, you never got to witness his first cry, or see him open his eyes, You were never going to see him smile for the first time, or celebrate his first birthday, you could feel the tears falling from your face again, setting the coco down and burying your head in your knees,

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door, You didn’t bother moving, you just assumed it was Wanda or Nat they both checked on you daily but you never would answer,

The knock was loud, You look at the clock it was past three in the morning,

“Y/N, we know you are in there open the door.” You hear Steve’s voice,

Still you don’t make any attempts to move,

You keep your head buried in your knees, the knocking gets louder,

“Y/N open the damn door before I knock it down!” You hear Bucky,

They must have just gotten back for their mission and heart the news,

You sigh, standing up walking down the stairs to the living room where it is littered with bottles of beer, water bottles and all sorts of trash, you are a Meticulous cleaner, you keep your place and work space clean as a whistle but you didn’t have the energy to care,

the blanket still draped over your shoulders, wearing a black spaghetti strapped tank top, and red plaid pajama pants, you unlock the front door, cracking it slightly seeing the two super soliders,

“What do you want?” Your voice raspy from crying, they looked at each other

“Let us in.” Bucky says

“No.” You try to shut the door in their faces but Steve’s hand stops the door,

“That wasn’t a request.” He says they both walk past you.

“Tony says you haven’t been in work for three months, or answering anyone’s calls.” Steve says

You sigh shutting the door.

“So.” You say walking past them,

“Do you two want anything to drink?’ You say walking into the kitchen.

“We didn’t come here for refreshments kitten.” Bucky says

“Then why did you come?” You asked looking over your shoulder as you are looking in the fridge bent over

“We are worried.” Steve says

“Don’t be I’m fine.” You say

“Really? Because by the looks of this place and you, it doesn’t seem that way.” Bucky says

All you had in the fridge was beer and juice so you grabbed a beer, opening it, They were highly concerned because you were not a big drinker, But you didn’t care, you didn’t care you didn’t care about anything you just wanted this pain to stop, just as you were about to take a sip Bucky took it from your hand,

You sighed,

“Why are you to here?” You ask,

“Because we heard what happened,” Steve says

You sighed again walking towards your couch sitting down.

“Look I appreciate it but I’m fin-” You began,

“No your not, and we are not leaving now that we see the condition you are in.” Bucky says

You look him in the eyes and for the first time since they arrived you can see a hint of anger but concern in his eyes.

#soft dark fic #mcu smut #soft dark Steve Rogers #soft dark Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfiction #dark steve x smut reader #steve rogers x reader #dark bucky barnes #obsessive bucky barnes #obsessive steve rogers #protective bucky barnes #protective steve rogers #depressed reader

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troynabed · 3 months

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2.14 | early 21st century romanticism

#trobed #community #troy barnes #abed nadir #community nbc #community tv #screencaps #gonna be posting a lot of these as i rewatch to cure my depression. get ready #s2

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allagogtoreblog · 1 year

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#eddie stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #marvel #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #fanfic #join the dark side #we have cookies and depression #my kind of people #i made a meme #meme

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bucksangel · 11 months

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oh darling, even rome fell // p.s. (via madzie-bane)

#sorry im just depressed #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #stevebucky #stucky #stucky edit #stucky imagine #stevebucky imagine #steve x bucky #marvel #mcu #captain america #the winter soldier #james barnes #my stuff #my edit

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mostwantedpotato404 · 1 year

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casual Bucky comic

#bucky #james buchanan barnes #James Buchanan #Winter Soldier #bucky casual #sebastian stan fanart #Sebastian Stan #i have other fanarts in the way like castlevania #i feel depressed and have nothing else to post atm #drew it few weeks ago but there was too much bucky on mu dashboard so i delayed posting

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grace-writes-shit · 10 months

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I Found You (Bucky Barnes X Rogers!Reader)

Words: 4.1k

Warnings/Themes: Angst! Character death, abduction, torture, human experimentation, allusions to PTSD, depression, thoughts of wanting to be unalived

Characters/Pairings: 40s!Bucky Barnes x Rogers!Reader, Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter (Mentioned), Howling Commandos (Mentioned)

misspygmypie asked:

Hello 🥰 I saw your request post and figured I'd send something in. I've had this idea for years, and it would be fun to read it!

You know when Steve finds and rescues Bucky at Hydra in the first movie? What if it's reader who they're rescuing and Hydra did some experiments on. Maybe she's Steves sister and they wanted to get to him through her and obviously Bucky has a thing for her lol 🥰

A/N: Sincerest apologies for taking so long to get this up. I've been taking on extra duties at work since my partner got fired and things have been super crazy since it's end of quarter. it also hasn't been the best for my mental health, so writing had been a struggle. probably why this ended up being so dang angsty. Sorry. Adulting seriously sucks. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Rain pattered gently on the canvas walls of the medical tent, while boots splashed noisily in the mud it created. Outside of the tent, she could hear the daily drills going on, soldiers training, and officers shouting commands. Her own fellow nurses milled about the tent, tending to wounded soldiers or doing other daily chores. It was a quiet day for the 107th Infantry Regiment.

“Alright, Private Richards, try not to go sticking your hand into random holes again. I doubt the next rabbit will be so kind.” Nimble fingers began tidying up the bloodied cotton balls and gauze used to clean and wrap the boy’s hand. 18 years old, you would think he’d know better than to stick his hand in holes in the ground.

“Yes, First Lieutenant, ma’am…” The boy grabbed his jacket and sulked out of the med tent. She laughed to herself as she watched him go. Knowing him, he’d be back soon enough. Not unlike his Sergeant, who wandered in a few moments later, a lazy smirk on his lips.

James Buchanan Barnes. Or as she’s known for most of her life, Bucky. The charming Sergeant was her older brother’s best friend, having been around since she was small. They were all thick as thieves, hardly seen without one of the others.

It may or may not have been a blessing to constantly have Bucky around. He was kind, funny, and took good care of her and her brother. However, other boys and men didn’t seem too eager to get to know her with him hanging at her shoulder. It’s even worse now with Steve being triple the size he was a year ago.

Occasionally, a brave soul will strike up the nerve to enter the medical tent and ask her out to the nearest town for a drink and a dance. But Bucky had uncanny timing. He always popped up just as she was about to answer.

“Now, a pretty face like that shouldn’t look so angry.” A voice sounded in her ear. A startled gasp escaped her and her hands fumbled the tools she had been organizing. Bucky caught a pair of forceps before they could hit the floor.

“James! You nearly gave me a heart attack!” She admonished him with a firm smack on the shoulder. He chuckled and rubbed the sore spot.

“Ow, careful there, doll. Gonna take my arm off with that strength.”

“Oh please, it’ll take a lot more than that to get rid of you.” She spun out of his reach when he tried to grab her arm. A small smile graced her lips as she made a final spin to face him. “Did you need something, Bucky?”

“What, I can’t come see my best girl just because I want to?

“I know your troop is supposed to be running the course right now, so no you can’t just come see me because you want to,” she said while gesturing for him to sit on the cot in the corner or her station. “Now, what mess did you get yourself into to be sent here?”

“You know me so well, Darlin’,” he whispered wistfully, smiling up at her with those big blues. He wore a dopey smile as he presented his cut left hand. She pursed her lips and tried to fight the blush rising to her cheeks. Damn him.

Stepping closer, she took his calloused hand into her softer one and observed the cut. It wasn’t too deep but still needed to be cleaned and dressed.

“What happened?” She remained in between his legs as she prepped some alcohol and gauze. His right hand toyed with the fabric of her skirt. With a narrowed look, she smacked the back of it.

“Just a climbing exercise; a nail was sticking out of the wall and caught my hand.” His voice was hushed as she worked. She hummed and began cleaning the wound. He hissed and jerked his hand back. With eyes rolling, the nurse grabbed his hand more firmly.

“You big baby.”

“Your big baby.” She smacked his arm again.

<><>

Gunshots fired all around her, men shouting and screaming. Some in pain, some as a battle cry. But all she could think about was how gentle Bucky’s hands had been in hers. And how much she wished it was his hands on her right now.

But larger, rougher hands now tore at her. Pushing and pulling. She screamed from behind her gag and her hands strained against the restraints. Black boots kicked out at her captors as she fought like a feral cat. She twisted this way and that, anything to loosen their grip on her. But against four burly men, she didn’t stand a chance.

She guessed they had gotten tired of her struggling because a blunt weapon struck the back of her head and she fell limp to the ground.

It was cold. Colder than she had ever been. The air was damp, making the ache in her lungs worse. Blurry eyes peeled open. The room she sat in was dark, only a green-tinted light on the other side of the room illuminated the space. Its murky light cast deep shadows around the room that seemed to move. Her head lolled to the side as one shadow moved closer.

Ah, not shadows. Men. Hydra.

“Good evening, Miss Rogers.” His voice was heavily accented and polite. Nothing like what you’d imagine a torturer or murderer to sound like. “I am honored to have Captain America’s sister as my guest.”

She groaned. The gag was no longer wrapped around her mouth, but her tongue felt like lead. Thoughts struggled to focus and grasp what this man was saying.

“Such a shame, a First Lieutenant, Chief Nurse, so much promise in your future. But because of your brother, you’ll never get to meet that future. We have another one much better suited for you.”

His words floated through her mind but didn’t stick. She was a nurse… She helps people. Why was she here? There were soldiers at camp that needed her. Bucky needed her…

“..ucky…” She slurred, drool dribbling from the corner of her mouth. Her bones felt heavier than lead and her muscles were like the slop served at breakfast. The shadows at the edge of her vision danced ever closer.

“Don’t worry, my dear, you’ll forget the pain soon.”

<><>

Bucky tore through the camp, Steve hot on his heels. His blue eyes roved over the multitude of bodies and injured, searching for that familiar head of hair. Always done up so prettily. Like last week when she was bandaging up his hand. Her nails were painted red, and her hair was twisted up into a flawless bun. Her red-painted lips smiled warmly at him. Fear gripped his heart at the idea that he would never see that smile again.

“Bucky, stop!” Steve clamped a hand on his best friend’s shoulder, forcing the Sergeant to a stop. It wouldn’t do his sister any good if they lost their heads. As much as he wanted to tear the whole world apart until his sister was safe, he knew that reckless actions could get her killed. If she wasn’t dead already…

“She’s – she’s gone, Steve. Where is she!?” Bucky spun to face Steve, his eyes wide and slightly crazed. He can’t lose her. He never got to take her on a date. Never got to hold her close and confess how deeply and fervently he love her. Bucky bit down on his lip to stop its wobble. He can’t cry, not yet. Not while there’s still a possibility she’s out there.

“I know. I know, Buck. We’ll get her back. No matter what.”

Footsteps rushed up to the pair. A soldier stopped in front of them, slightly out of breath. “A-a letter for you, sir. It-it has the hydra insignia.”

Upon reading the contents, Steve and Bucky took off to Colonel Phillips' tent. The older man sat at a desk, signing letters to the families of the deceased and missing. Steve hardly gave the man time to put his pen down before requesting a team to rescue the captured. He decided to leave out the fact that he was only doing this to get his sister back.

“I understand the heroic need to save the day, but those who have been taken prisoner are far behind enemy lines and we don’t have the manpower or resources to conduct a rescue mission.” Phillips’ response was expected, but it didn’t stop Bucky’s jaw from clenching or his hands from balling into fists.

The Colonel looked at the two young men standing in front of him. He knew exactly why they wanted to go. Only a fool would think that Captain America wouldn’t move heaven and earth for the younger Rogers. An even bigger fool wouldn’t see the lovesick look every time James Barnes was near her, or the way his gaze follows her as she walks across the base.

Phillips sighed heavily, digging through a stack of letters yet to be signed. First Lieutenant Y/N Rogers. MIA.

Steve took the letter with shaking hands. Bucky felt a tear roll down his cheek.

They were dismissed and the two trudged away. A silent look was exchanged and they agreed. They would go after her with or without permission.

<><>

“…name… Rogers…” Chapped lips mumbled her name over and over again. A tired mind determined to hold on to herself. Don’t forget. Don’t forget. “…Y/N… Rogers…”

“Y/N?” A voice hissed.

“Y/N/N?” A different voice, closer this time.

“Steve! She’s here!” The buckles around her wrists and ankles fell off one by one. Warm, calloused hands that she dreamed about cupped her face. She groaned and willed the fog from her brain. These hands. Bucky’s hands.

“Buck…” She croaked, red lipstick smudged, and once pristine hair hanging limply around her face. His smile brightened the shadows in her vision. Steve had joined them and helped her sit up.

“Hey, doll. What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?” Giving her a watery smile, he pushed the hair from her face. The cheap line earned him a weak chuckle.

“Oh, what any girl does in a place like this,” she responded. Together, the two men helped her to her feet. The room pitched suddenly, her legs giving out under her. Whatever they had given her made her legs weak.

“Guess you make me a little weak in the knees,” she joked as Bucky swept her into his arms. She tucked her head into his neck, leaning heavily into him. Steve carefully led the way out, checking around corners and taking out any enemy soldiers that they crossed paths with.

Eventually, the trio made it out of the now-burning building. A mass of freed soldiers met them and together the company fought their way back to their camp. Bucky cradled her close to his chest the entire time. He stuck close to Steve, letting him take the punches. Steve didn’t mind.

For almost two weeks she was laid up in a cot in the medical tent. It was strange, in the years that she had been an army nurse, she had been the one giving care. She had never been the patient. And the patient of her subordinates, no less.

Her closer friends teased her that she was a horrible patient. Their teasing helped ease the residual anxiety and adrenaline from her ordeal. But what had really helped, was Bucky’s constant presence. During meal time and recreation time, he would come to visit her in the medical tent. Steve would drop by as well, but it was mostly Bucky.

As the days passed, Bucky seemed more and more nervous, however. Like he had something to say, just on the tip of his tongue. Sometimes, when he maybe thought she wasn’t looking, she caught him looking guilty. She hoped beyond hope that he didn’t blame himself for what had happened.

“You’re cleared to return to light duty, First Lieutenant,” Second Lieutenant Fredricks said with a smile.

The first few days of light duty were spent organizing and assisting. Then after a week, she was cleared to begin training again. Nurses didn’t necessarily need to do the drills the men did, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t. She also preferred to stay in shape and to keep her skills from going rusty.

Growing up with her brother being bullied, Y/N learned how to defend not only herself but Steve, as well. The elder Rogers sibling didn’t care for her fighting but he did appreciate that in a pinch, she could defend herself.

In the early morning, dressed in a pair of trousers and a simple shirt, Y/N makes her way to the track. A run should be light enough.

She could make out the tall frames of Steve and Bucky amongst the other men getting ready for their morning run. Bucky smiled as she approached.

“Hey, how’s it going? You sure you’re okay to be running?” Bucky brushed his hand over hers when she stopped in front of him. The touch made her stomach flutter but she smiled confidently at him.

“Actually, I’ve never felt better. I’m tired of being cooped up in the med tent for so long.” She bent to tighten her boots’ laces. Bucky shrugged and patted her shoulder, teasingly telling her to not fall behind. She scoffed and took off after the troops in a light jog.

Steve and Bucky kept pace with her, both worrying she might become too tired and collapse. Their hovering and not-so-subtle glances did not go unnoticed by her. Irritation settled quickly in her bones. She wasn’t some fragile flower. Just because something bad happened to her doesn’t mean she going to break at any moment.

Spurred by anger, her legs moved faster on their own accord. Steve glanced at his best friend as they sped up to match. Soon, the three of them were overtaking the other troops. Bucky was breathing heavily as they passed the frontman, now in a full sprint.

“W-wait!” He panted as the two Rogers siblings were now racing down the path. How was she running that fast!? How wasn’t she tired? Her smaller frame broke past Steve, who was now struggling to keep up.

The younger Rogers didn’t even notice the concerned and shocked looks she was receiving. The wind rushing in her ears and the trees blurring in her vision was all she could focus on. She felt like she was flying; her feet barely touching the ground. She felt free.

She burst into the clearing at the end of their running trail, the morning sun warming her wind-chilled skin. The grass kicked up as she skidded to a halt. A laugh erupted from her, her head light with adrenaline and awe. Then reality sunk in.

Bucky and Steve broke through the tree line a few minutes later.

“Y/N!”

She turned to look at them, her brows scrunched together and lips forming a thin line.

“They did this to me…” She murmured, gazing turning down at her clenched fists. She had thought she was feeling so good because she survived Hydra’s torment. How quickly this revelation brought her down. They poked and prodded, injected, and dissected. They had changed her.

“Doll?” Bucky approached her slowly, hands out in front of him. Seeing her lip wobble had his heart shattering in him. Throwing caution to the wind, he wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his chest, drowning her sobs in the rough fabric of his shirt. Her brother stood beside them, rubbing his hand over her shoulders.

“I’ve got ya, sweets. I got ya,” Bucky muttered into her hair. “We’re gonna figure this out. It’ll be okay.”

Lord, he hoped he was telling the truth.

<><>

Months went by as she adjusted to her new abilities. After she discovered her inhuman speed, she quickly learned she was inhumanly strong. Not as strong as her brother, but definitely stronger than any other man in the camp.

She began training with the men, easily laying anyone flat during sparring. Even Steve struggled against her. While he surpassed her in strength, she made it up in speed and agility. She had been given the moniker of Lady Liberty once the higher-ups found out.

But despite the usefulness of these abilities. She couldn’t help but feel violated. Every night she woke up in a cold sweat, dreaming of their cold instruments and icy laughter. More than once she ended up in the clearing from months before.

Each time she made it out there, Bucky wasn’t far behind. He held her as he had back then, whispering comforting words and stroking her hair. This night began no differently than the others. They sat in the middle of the clearing, the half-moon illuminated above their heads.

“I’m sorry, Bucky… You don’t have to come out here with me every night.” She sniffled, wiping her tears from her cheeks. She was settled in between his stretched-out legs, her own draped over one of his thighs. He shook his head and sighed.

“I don’t mind, Doll. Really.” Soft lips pressed against her temple. “Unless you tell me to go, I won’t leave your side. I can’t.”

Shining eyes looked up into his baby blues. She had never felt so safe and protected as she did in Bucky’s arms. Even though she could easily kick his butt in a fight, she knew he would fight tooth and nail for her. And she would burn down the world for him.

There was no doubt in her mind as she pressed her lips to his. He sighed against her as he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer by the waist. Everything clicked into place with this kiss. They had been dancing around this thing between them for years, neither willing to take the leap and possibly lose what they already had.

But the feeling of her lips on his, the taste of her on his tongue had him bitterly regretting not doing this sooner. How many kisses could they have had? How many dates and late nights have they missed? He sure had a lot of time to make up.

“I love you, Y/N.” His breath fanned across the skin of her neck as his kiss-swollen lips brushed along it.

“I love you, James.”

<><>

Over the next two years, the Howling Commandos slowly but surely made their way through the Hydra bases. First Lieutenant Rogers led alongside her brother, Captain Rogers. Not only as extra muscle, but as a nurse, and occasionally, spy. Bucky didn’t like the idea of his girl being ogled by slimy nazi men, but she convinced him that no one would expect a woman to be a super soldier.

She would infiltrate their meetings as a piece of eye candy, acquiring information as needed and then arresting the men as she saw fit.

But this particular mission didn’t require revealing dresses or sultry makeup. Rather, she wore a winter coat and combat boot with reinforced soles. The speed that she ran quickly ate through nearly all of her shoes.

The Commandos were all situated on a cliff overlooking another with a set of train tracks. They were waiting on the train carrying Doctor Zola. Glove-covered hands clenched at her side. Doctor Zola. One of the men who had turned her into this. Turned her into a weapon.

Bucky’s heavy hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her to his side. His soft lips brushed against her temple.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he reassured. “We go in, kick some ass, and then get out. Easy.”

She chuckled and pressed a kiss to his waiting lips. The other men had the decency to look away from the couple.

“Alright, lovebirds, let’s get a move on.” Steve’s voice called out from the edge of the cliff.

She scoffed at her brother and kissed her sergeant once more. “See you on the other side, tiger.”

<><>

Things were going south very quickly. Hydra had more gun power than she had thought. A huge man with bigger guns than himself stood in the doorway to their car. His guns glowed blue as they powered up.

Steve shoved both his sister and Bucky behind him, holding up his shield. The blast had her teeth rattling in her skull, her body flying back further than the boys. The impact of her head hitting the metal floor caused stars to dance in her vision.

She could barely comprehend the cold rush of air from the massive hole in the side of the train. And before she could gather herself, the man was priming another shot, pointed directly at her. Shaking legs tried to bare her weight as she scrambled for her gun.

Bucky had gathered himself faster than her or her brother, so she could only watch as he picked up Steve’s shield and fired a few shots at the enemy. A scream ripped from her throat when blue light shot out at her sergeant.

Bucky went flying, the shield in the other direction. Both the Rogers siblings jumped into action. Steve went for the shield, quickly taking out the other man. She leaped for the hole in the wall of the train that Bucky had flown out of.

Her eyes widened with horror as she gazed upon the man she loved, hanging on for dear life to the crumbling handrails.

“Bucky! Hold on!” She reached out to him, trying to find her footing to get to him and pull him to safety. The look in his eyes was one she had never seen on him before. Blue eyes wide with fear, his mouth poised in a silent scream. And as his fingers brushed against hers, tips barely able to curl around each other, he was gone.

His scream was joined by hers. The image of him falling to his death will forever be ingrained in her mind. It’ll be the last thing on her mind as she goes to sleep and the first one when she wakes up. It’ll be there when she fights her way through Hydra soldiers, and as she sends her fist straight into Johann Schmidt’s ugly, red face.

Steve worried about his sister’s mental health since that day. She had retreated into herself. Long gone was the witty and strong woman he knew. His sister, who had always been so bright, had been replaced by someone who only knew how to fight.

She only spoke to give orders or to communicate during battle. Her words were always clipped and to the point; no room for banter or sarcasm. The icy wall she had built around herself was all to conceal the torment her mind tortured her with.

If only she had been stronger, maybe she wouldn’t have been down for so long. If she had been faster, she could have reached him before he fell. If she had been better, maybe he wouldn’t have died. Every moment was filled with these thoughts. Awake or not. It was all she could think about.

Eventually, she became too tired. She fought with everything she had; Bucky at least deserved that. She wouldn’t give up simply because it would mean he died in vain. However, with each new opponent, she could help but wish that this one would be stronger than her.

No opponent was ever stronger than her. Until now.

It wasn’t a person that she now faced her death with. But a plane filled with explosives. Schmidt was gone, as was the Tesseract. Now, she and her brother faced the cracked windows of the plane. She tried to keep her lip from trembling as Steve spoke with Peggy.

Even if she hadn’t gotten her happy ending, she had wished her big brother would have gotten his. Tear-filled eyes opened when she felt a hand come to rest on hers. Steve’s face was solemn as he spoke.

“I’ve gotta put it in the water.” He was half telling Peggy and half asking for permission from his sister. It wasn’t just his life going down for millions of others, but his little sister’s, too. The siblings shared a weighty look before she nodded.

Lady Liberty listened quietly as Captain America spoke with Agent Carter. No.

Y/N listened brokenheartedly as her big brother said his goodbyes to the woman he loved and who loved him in return.

And as Steve redirected the plane to the icy terrain below, she closed her eyes and imagined the warm hands of her love. His blue fire eyes and easy grin. The feel of his lips against hers. The sound of her name on his tongue.

I’m coming, Bucky.

#my writing #grace writes shit #reader insert #request #angst #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #avenger x reader #tw: mental health #tw: self loathing #tw: depression #tw: ptsd

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fandomfluffandfuck · 2 months

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*breaks down your door while huddled in blankets and sobbing* S THE ANGSTY STUCKY THOUGHTS ARE BACK AGAIN.

Oh my GOD, S. Can you imagine how heartbroken Steve would be when Bucky “dies” in TFA? Steve didn’t want to have all this. He came to terms with the fact that he wasn’t exactly soldier material a long time ago. But he wanted to follow Bucky. He’d follow him anywhere. Now he’s gone, and Steve is… he’s fucking lost.

He’s curled up in his shitty army room for days, not listening to the radio, barely eating, not talking to anyone. Just staring at the wall, wishing more than anything that his baby would walk in and hold him like he did when Steve was still small, whispering in his ear that “It’s all gonna be alright, honey. I’m here. I’m not leavin’ my best guy anytime soon.”

But he won’t. And Steve will never see Bucky again, never get to hold him and tell him how much he loves him, and he’ll never get to kiss him or run his fingers through his hair when Bucky’s on the edge of sleep. Steve sobs, clinging onto his pillow and ignoring the knocks at his door.

“Steve, we have to-“ It’s Peggy. She’s the only one that hasn’t gotten the memo that Steve isn’t able to do shit right now. She keeps pushing and pushing, and Steve finally snaps.

He wrenches open the door, finding Peggy rolling her eyes and it makes him crazy. He looks at her with disgust.

“You’ve never lost someone, have you? You’ve never lost someone who your world revolved around, who you would hang the moon and stars for.” He spits. She looks taken aback.

“I- Steven, I get he was your friend but this is wildly inappropriate! You’re acting like your wife died, for Christ’s sake!” She laughs, and Steve barely keeps his cool.

“He wasn’t my friend, Margaret.” She startles at the use of her first name. “He was everything to me. He loved me when nobody else did. Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky.”

He slams the door and crumbles, sobbing on the floor. He wants his Bucky back. He wants the love of his life back. So he does stupid shit. He ignores Peggy when she tells him to turn the plane around, that they’ll find another way. He ignores how much it hurts to find out that he’s not dead, that he has to keep living without Bucky. He ignores Stark trying to tell him that fighting aliens two weeks after coming out of the ice is a terrible idea. He ignores the ache in his side when he runs at dawn, ignores the pain in his chest when Sam asks him if he’s lost someone.

He looks Sam in the eye.

“I did, yeah. My best… my lover.” He can say it now. He won’t get thrown in jail for saying that he loves Bucky Barnes and Bucky Barnes loved him. Sam nods, not saying anything. “His name was Bucky. He… he was the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Sam is surprised, of course he is, but he quickly corrects himself. A hand on Steve’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, man. I’ve been to his grave before. Medal of Honor.” Steve nods, smiling a bit. He’s so proud of his baby.

They end up standing on the grass in silence, facing white marble with a name carved in it. Steve lays down roses. Bucky loved roses.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sam spots a man in tactical gear and a suspiciously shiny arm in the trees, seemingly watching them. But he doesn’t say anything. It doesn’t feel right.

“I love you, Buck. I always will.” Steve whispers, desperately hoping that somehow Bucky will hear it. He hopes he never forgets how much Steve loves him.

I 👏🏻 don't 👏🏻 have 👏🏻 words 👏🏻

This makes me want to scream. Particularly this part, though:

"He slams the door and crumbles, sobbing on the floor. He wants his Bucky back. He wants the love of his life back. So he does stupid shit. He ignores Peggy when she tells him to turn the plane around, that they’ll find another way. He ignores how much it hurts to find out that he’s not dead, that he has to keep living without Bucky. He ignores Stark trying to tell him that fighting aliens two weeks after coming out of the ice is a terrible idea. He ignores the ache in his side when he runs at dawn, ignores the pain in his chest when Sam asks him if he’s lost someone."

STEVE. BABY.

Jesus Christ, I always forget how fucking devastating canon is and then when you take the plunge beyond want canon gave us into the implications based on what we did get to see of Steve and Bucky's relationship it's just so much worse.

So, uh, thank you for the pain.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

I'm gonna go walk into the ocean, I guess. See you around 🫡

#asks #sillysickly #anon provided writing #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #sam wilson #tony stark #tw character death #tw depression #anti peggy carter

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real-bucky-barnes · 4 months

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Finally did that chore I’ve been putting off for like two weeks. It took about 5 minutes. No I will not be learning from this.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes rp #marvel #mcu #winter soldier #audhd #sorta in character but also sorta not?#I actually did clean my depression room irl so yay me #but also I’m sure bucky would do this too #I’m low key proud of myself :)#self care

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parkercore-69 · 3 months

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resonating with abed a little bit TOO much recently, because i too feel like i’ve been passing through life never really understanding the people around me and never really understanding myself, either. Connecting with society through movies and tv and using what I’ve analysed in film to try and make sense of people, yet still being thrown in a loop whenever someone does something I can’t personally ever imagine my own self doing.

and THEN, finding someone who I thought I understood perfectly and vice versa. Finally finding someone who’s mannerisms I could read like a large print book and who’s thoughts i could click together like lego. I felt like i could be fluently understood without any reasoning, like we were both speaking some language only we knew. Loving every moment i spent with them as if it was some sort of sacred experience I may never get to see again- but being ensured that this was forever. Yet, inevitably, being chucked back in the loop when they still leave and I find myself slowly forgetting words in a language that used to feel like second nature.

#OH NO PARKER’S BEING DEPRESSED ON MAIN???#uck i’m getting over it i swear #famous prophets (stars) plays in my head everytime i think of him #abed nadir #troy barnes #i am abed nadir (unfortunately)#uck this is kinda cringe might delete later #however if i dont say it at some point it may like manifest in me and i get super wild #my i please express my emotions through troy and abed analogies #uuuuuck #trobed #parker spews his troubles connecting emotionally and romantically and platonically and just generically with people #community #community nbc #community i love you #i love you community

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wintersoldiersoul · 6 months

Note

I just realised you already have a post similar to my previous ask so maybe could you write something where Bucky noticed reader was struggling with self harm a while ago and thought she was better but she isn’t and he helps her 🥺

TW: self-harm, blood, depression, please do not read if any of these things will upset you. Love you all and reach out to someone if you need to <3

You didn’t know what had happened. You couldn’t even remember how you had ended up where you were. One second you were crying in bed and suddenly you were on the bathroom floor, blade in your hand and covered in fresh cuts.

It had been so long. You were doing so well, about a week away from being 2 years clean. You tried so hard to prevent it from happening but Bucky being gone made it so much harder. When you had first told him about your self-harm and depression, he had sat down with you and made a “safety-plan”.

“If you feel like you’re gonna hurt yourself, the first step is find me, okay?” He had spoken sternly. “If I’m not here, you call. And if I don’t answer on the first try, you keep calling. Second step is to distract yourself. Go on a walk, bake something, it doesn't matter. Just don’t let yourself sit in the dark thoughts.” As he spoke, he wrote everything down on a piece of paper. “And listen,” he grabbed your hands and looked into your eyes. “If I don’t answer, for some reason, you call someone else. You call Natasha or Tony or any other person in your life. You cannot let yourself be alone when you feel this way.” You nodded, fully planning on doing just that if the time ever came. But when you woke up this morning filled with a primal need to hurt yourself, you didn’t even remember the plan.

It was like nothing mattered except for feeling the blade against your skin and watching the blood pour out. The emotional pain that you were in needed to escape. You needed to feel it in a physical capacity. So you didn’t call Bucky. Because you knew he’d stop you. And you didn’t wanna be stopped.

You regretted it the second you made the first cut. All of that progress you had made, gone within the blink of an eye. You’d have to remember to erase the day marking your 2 years clean on your calendar. The shame you felt didn’t stop you though. It just made you want to hurt yourself more. You were ashamed and felt like a failure. You cried as you dragged the blade over your wrists, mumbling to yourself how stupid and worthless you were. How you always let everyone down.

You dissociated as you cut, robotically moving to your thighs once you ran out of space on your arms. You couldn’t stop, even as you grew dizzy from the blood loss. Your head was pounding from it and the dehydration caused by your tears but you couldn’t bring yourself to get up off the floor. Eventually, you put the blade down but you continued crying, the crimson of your blood staining the white-tile floor.

You didn’t hear the front door open. Didn’t hear Bucky calling out for you, home from the mission. His heart sped up as he walked further into the house, hearing your broken sobs coming from the bathroom. “Y/N? Sweetheart?” He called, getting closer. He didn’t wanna frighten you but his gut told him that something was incredibly wrong. He knocked on the door, but you didn’t register it. There was no time for you to even attempt to cover up what you had done, plus you knew he’d find out eventually. Bucky’s favorite thing to do when he got home from a mission was to rip your clothes off.

His heart stopped when he opened the door. There you were, hugging your knees to your chest, crying hysterically and bleeding out. There was so much blood coming from your arms and your thighs. “Oh my god,” was all he could say as he rushed over to you. “Oh my god, oh my god,” he kept repeating, trying to assess the damage you had done to yourself. “Baby, can you hear me? It’s me, it’s Bucky,” he said, trying to get you to calm down and talk to him. You were still in your own little world as you cried.

“I’m sorry,” you cried, fully realizing that he was there. He grabbed you and hugged you tightly and you could feel his body shaking as he did. “I’m so sorry,” you sobbed into his chest.

“Baby, we gotta stop this bleeding or I’m gonna have to take you to the hospital.” He wanted to talk this out with you, to comfort you, but right now, you were bleeding out in his arms. “Can I move you? I’m just gonna sit you up on the sink, okay?” You nodded and he gingerly moved your body so that you were perched on the sink, back against the mirror as it was hard to hold yourself up. He created makeshift tourniquets, a skill that he still had from the war, and wrapped them around your arms and legs. “Oh my god,” he said, once again.

You looked up at him with wide eyes. “I got blood on your shirt…” you whispered quietly.

“It doesn’t matter, don’t worry about it.” He assured you, cupping your face in his hands. “I gotta clean these cuts, I’m sorry,” he said, removing the tourniquets once the bleeding had mostly stopped. You winced as he dabbed at your skin, the sting from the contact immediate. “I know, sweetie, I know, I’m sorry,” he repeated words of encouragement to you. “Just breathe, please. Take a deep breath. It’s almost over.” He took his time in ensuring everything was clean and that the bleeding was stopped before he applied bandaids. “What did you do, baby?” He looked up at you with sadness in his blue eyes. “You-you’re covered,” he said, voice dropping to a whisper as tears started falling down his face.

You looked down, too ashamed to look him in the eyes. “I don’t know what happened… I just woke up today and it just hurt so much and I just… I don’t know. I couldn’t stop myself.”

“Why didn’t you call me? What about your plan, remember?”

“I knew you’d stop me…” Your voice held so much shame.

“You’re damn right I would have!” His voice grew loud, but he wasn’t yelling at you. He knew you couldn’t help the mental illness you struggled with. And he saw how hard you fought every single day. Even though you had slipped up, he was still so incredibly proud of the time you had spent clean and he would dedicate every second to helping you get back on track. As long as you were willing to try, how could he be mad at you? “I’m not angry at you, I’m just… oh god, I’m terrified. I’d be worried no matter what if you relapsed but baby, you did some serious damage.”

“I know,” you said. “I’m so angry at myself. I was a week away from 2 years. And I fucked it all up!”

He tilted your chin up so that you were looking at him. “Do you wanna stay clean again? Do you wanna get back on track?” You nodded. “Then you didn’t fuck anything up, okay? You’re human and you struggle. That's normal and okay. Of course I wish you didn’t do this. I hate seeing you in pain more than anything in this entire world. But baby, don’t be angry with yourself. Use that emotion as motivation to continue getting better. Please don’t let this send you spiraling back down into a place that’s gonna be even harder to get out of.”

You wiped some tears off of your face. “It’s so hard being alive, Bucky. Even on the good days, the depression is always there in the back of my mind. Even when I’m happy, it’s like I’m never really happy. Maybe true happiness just isn’t in the cards for me. I just wanna end it.”

“Honey…” your words broke his heart. You could see it on his face. “I know how hard it is and how much you struggle. You have no idea how badly I wish I could take away all of your pain. Seeing you like this… god, it breaks me apart. I’m so scared for you. I’m so worried about you,” his body was still shaking slightly. “But you deserve happiness. You deserve it more than anyone. You have such a beautiful soul and you inspire me every single day that you get up and live your life even though you struggle. Happiness is in the cards for you. I know that because I will spend every waking minute of the rest of my life trying to make you happy.” He brushed your hair behind your ears. “I love you so much. Please don’t leave me here alone. I-” he took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears but failed as they slipped out anyway. “I can’t do this without you. I can’t be in this world without you.”

He pulled you into a tight hug, resting your head on his chest. The two of you stayed like that, both crying against each other’s bodies. It was heartbreaking, the way your sadness broke him, too, like you were one soul sharing two bodies.

“Let’s get you into some clean clothes, okay? You’ll feel better.” Your shorts and shirt were both stained with red. He helped you change into a pair of clean pants and a sweatshirt, being extra careful as he noticed your grimaces of pain each time the material touched your skin. You both got into bed, exhausted from the intense emotional turmoil that the night had stained you with.

The two of you lay on your sides facing each other. Bucky wordlessly stroked your hair, looking deep into your eyes. “I’m never gonna abandon you. No matter how many times you slip up. I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed your forehead before pulling you into a tight hug. “Never.”

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huffelpuff210 · 17 days

Text

Taken care of Part 3 Soft Dark Steve Rogers x Soft Dark Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Forced relationship, Controlling behavior, Forced Marriage, Non Con, mentions of loss of a child, mentions of depression, Dark Themes, age gap,

You lay in the bed, sandwiched between both men as they slept, Both had an arm draped over you,

After they were finished Cumming inside of you multiple times, bending you in all sorts of positions, You cried, You cried so hard, Not sure what was happening, why this was happening, they were your friends, why were they doing this to you?

You look over your shoulder to See Bucky fast asleep, and in front of you Steve is also asleep,

You slowly peel Steve’s arm off of you, he doesn’t move, You Peel Bucky’s off of you he is fast asleep,

You crawl out of bed slowly and quietly trying not to make any sudden movements,

You are naked so you grab a pair of running shorts, and a tank top, not bothering grabbing any underwear, You knew right now was your best chance,

You had no family, but you had a few friends you could hide out with until you could skip town,

You had no idea how your life had made this sudden turn, how could any of this had happened?

You quietly grab your car keys from the table near the door, looking back they are both fast asleep, You slip on your flat’s making your way to the front door, opening it quietly, and shutting it, the crickets chirping, as you close the door. This is the first time you have been outside in three months,

You take a deep breath, sprinting for your car fumbling with your keys to unlock the door, when suddenly you are pushed against the car by the back of your neck,

“Where the hell do you think your going?” You hear Bucky’s gruff voice against your ear,

“Away from the two of you!” You yell as your lip starts quivering,

“Oh doll there is no escaping us.” he says

“You are ours now,” He says

You feel the tears falling down your cheeks,

“Why are you doing this?” You ask,

“I thought you were my friends.” You says

“Oh kitten we are.” Bucky says against your cheek,

“But you need us to take care of you.” You hear Steve,

“I mean look at you, In shorts and a tank top in thirty degree weather.” Steve says

“P-Please let me go, I won’t tell anyone.” You say

“Of course not, you are our girl, and soon to be wife.” Bucky says

“There is no way I will be your wife! Besides no one will conduct a three party wedding!” You yell

Both Steve and Bucky chuckle,

“You won’t have to worry about that doll, We are Captain America and Winter Solider, all we have to do is say the word.” Steve says

You let out a breath, they were right who were you to fight against them,

“So why don’t we all go inside and talk.” Steve says

You nod slowly knowing you had no chance against the two soliders.

You sat on the couch as The two super soliders stared down at you, You felt as if you were in the principles office,

You jumped when you felt Bucky’s metal hand on your thigh,

“First off I guess we should start by saying we’re sorry,” Steve says as he stares down at you , You look at him a little baffled,

“We should have done this sooner before you hooked up with that loser.” Steve says

“We should have told you how we felt about you sooner.” Bucky says as he rubs your thigh with his hand which causes goosebumps

“Why are you doing this?” You asked looking down at the floor,

“Because we love you kitten, and we want to take care of you.” Bucky says

“We know that this place is small and passing that room is painful so we decided to get started on moving you in at our place.” Steve begins,

You finally look up,

“But-” You began to argue, But Steve presses one of his fingers to your lips,

“That wasn’t a request.” He says smiling down at you,

“Once you get settled we will begin on the plans.” Bucky says kissing the side of your neck,

“P-Plans?” You asked

“Getting married, Can’t have our girl living with us and not be married.” Steve says kneeling in between your legs,

You shake your head no,

“N-No, I can’t.” You say,

“You can and will, Don’t you understand doll we love you and we would hate to use force to make you comply.” Steve says glaring at you,

“Sure you have no family but plenty of friends, I would hate for them to have some sort of accident.” Steve says

Your eyes widen, How could you forget, Steve and Bucky knew everything about you, who your friends were, where you liked to go, You told them everything, before any of this ever happened, And they hung on to every word, and you didn’t realize how deep their obsession really was up until this point that is,

“Now, will you be a good girl and do as we say kitten?” Bucky asked

Your lip quivered realizing you were backed into a corner, and you had no way out and no one to save you,

You simply swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded, agreeing to their insane idea,

“That’s our good girl,” Steve says

He pulls out a ring from his pocket, It was a beautiful rose gold ring, the diamond was in the shape of a tear drop, and on each side of the ring had their initials,

Steve grabbed your wrist, slipping on the ring, on your left ring finger,

“Fits perfectly.” Bucky hums

You really couldn’t believe this was happening, they were your friends what had happened,

“Why don’t I make us something to eat.” Steve says standing up making his way to the kitchen while you sat on the couch completely stunned

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