i thought it was obvious
my grades started dropping,
my room looked like a mess
my smile and my appetite disappeared,
I stopped talking to my friends and just stayed in my room all day
but somehow
nobody noticed
no one helped me or asked me if I'm okay
I was completely alone and it ate me up inside
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I feel like this pain is slowly consuming me, making it hard to physically breathe or normally function at all! I just can't fucking move and do the daily normal work I used to do and it's aching and hurting everything in me but I'm not able to fucking do anything about it.
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Nothing is worse than regret, all the words left unsaid. Repeating in your head, over and over again.
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I wish I could split in two and let part of me die. A piece of me really wants to no longer function. But a chunk of me knows that I have to stay. I have to make everyone happy. Keep everyone safe. But I’m ready to be set free. I can’t stop shaking. My eyes puffy and teared. My lungs gasping for air. This is no way to live. This is no way to live. There is no room for love. No nothing, when you’re the damnedest.
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cuando se va la sensación de sentirse cansada todo el tiempo?
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Ever-Existing…
This is for the girls
Who are scared,
The girls who are weak,
And pretend to be strong
Just so no one asks what’s wrong.
This is for the girls
Who check their hair and makeup
Five different times
Before leaving the house
Just to make sure
That nothing is out of place.
This is for the girls
Traumatized by a man’s opinion
And how it made her feel
Non-existent in an ever-existing world.
This is for the girls
Who don’t speak up when they’re sad
But instead go on long drives
“To clear my mind,” they say,
But in reality, it becomes more cloudy.
And this is for the girls
Who take too many pictures of trees
Just to keep them to herself
For a smile on a rainy day.
This is for the girls who write letters,
Poems, songs, and words
About one person
They can’t seem to move on from.
This is for the girls like me,
The girls trying to find their place
In an ever-changing world
Working day-by-day to fit in
Only to realize they’re good enough
Just by being who they want to be.
- original poem
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I envy the dead
if I could trade my life with someone out there fighting to live, I would. I have no desire to keep my heart beating, I've been angry for years
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How the mundane becomes novel, open flesh and layers of skin, vigilantism of your crimes, silent regret- when will this bloody cycle end ?
(pic by @jebanydebil2115 )
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My silence spoke a thousand words but you never heard.
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The only thing worse than being alone is being with someone who makes you feel alone. It’s like sitting by a cool stream and dying of thirst. Or starving while walking through the market with a hand full of money that no one will take.
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