Think I'm going to bite the bullet and reconsider trying anti-depressants. Any tips to prevent weight gain? Because life is terrifying enough without sudden weight gain :)

My brain

Kill yourself you god damn piece of shit you’ll never amount to anything anyway

Also my brain

My mental health: tragic

My life situation: inches from the rock bottom

Perspectives for a change: none

Pinterest: *has pretty flowers and comforting pictures*

Me: HO HO HO, guess who’s the happiest motherfucker on Earth? Thassright, thassme, now give me more of them roses :D

Fuckin hate my therapist bitch literally went on a walk with her dog in the middle of my appointment that’s only one of the shitty things she’s done

Wow I feel

✨Depressed✨

Am I being left behind?

It’s getting hard to breathe

I long for the pain

Of a blade across my skin

Bleed out my sorrow

Tw: Suicidd

It’s so crazy how used to suicidal thoughts you can get. Like it’s wild to imagine people wake up everyday not thinking or feeling that way on a regular basis. Like it’s just a part of life to me now. Like how it smells after you take a shit; it sucks but also what do you expect. That’s life. My friend just told me I should check into a clinic but I have an interview next week and an ultrasound to find out why my eggs haven’t budged in half a year. Last week I said I hoped they’d find something that would kill me and that salt is still left on my tongue.

Me and my housemates decided to look at and share with each other old pictures of ourselves when we were younger. It was all very fun but I had no idea that it was going to trigger me so much. Holy shit.

One of the tropes I hate the most is the "troubled artist," particularly when it's implied that the artist's personal struggles are what drives them to create great art. Two of my all time favourite artists, Sylvia Plath and Amy Winehouse, had their lives cut short by suicide and addiction respectively. Although their suffering was often a point of inspiration for them, it was not what made them great.

It makes me so upset to imagine all the amazing poems Sylvia Plath could've written had she not passed away so early at the age of 30. Given the way her writing was maturing near her death, I can't fathom the breathtaking things she would've written if she lived on. I mourn the beautiful music Amy Winehouse would've written had she not tragically died at 27. I can only imagine how well her voice would've matured. How beautiful it would sound if she were alive today- she'd still be only 37. 

My point is, the tortured artist is a very real trope, but stop putting all the credit towards the artist's suffering and start placing it on their own personal genius.

Apology

If I woke up again that morning, I would take your glass of milk and open your door. I would take your head on my lap and ask you to show me your scars Not the ones on your wrists The ones you hid in your flickering gaze that dropped to the ground the minute someone walked into the room. The ones you hid in the way you sometimes opened your mouth to breathe. The ones you hid in your soft “Mom I’m…

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TW

Ever feel like bashing your head in so hard off of a wall that you gash open your head and bleed out? But so have the realization thats your too weak to do it because the most exercise you get is walking to the bathroom and picking up your 24 lb infant child. And the fact that you can't stand the sight of blood or the feeling of pain to the point where you pass put if there's too much of either. I get that feeling a lot and then go in circles with this urge.

I have a question for adults/older people with adhd: does it ever get better? I just want a hobby or a good sleep schedule or the ability to eat healthy food. is it possible?

why can't i just be a robot with ken-doll anatomy

Well, I almost made it to 2 weeks clean

Sometimes depression means staring at pics of the Queen lads, watching Unraveled and the Wembley concert, and pretending you don't have work the next day when you definitely do

I would give just about anything to have my comfort character here with me right now. I don’t care what they’d be doing, even just sitting next to them and hearing them talk would be enough to make me not want to die and ... that’s really all I can ask for.

Not me watching coming of age movies in my twenties because my high school years have been lacking those formative experiences™ and still waiting for them while also feeling even more depressed about my own life because I missed out on things I'll never be able to expierce and every day that goes by I'm wasting it and my life is slipping through my fingers and I'm just passively witnessing it

No one would even notice, if I would harm myself.

Or if I'd end my life right now.

I just had to brush several months’ worth of depression knots out of my hair. It hurt like a motherfucker but at least now I can go into work tomorrow looking like a functioning human being...