#desmond struggle moments

[celaenaeiln]

Is Dick's tendency for self-destructive habits really as bad as some fics make it out to be?

oh interesting!! In some way, yes actually.

Batman (2016) Issue #689

Dick and Alfred!! The duo make me so happy <33

But anyway, it's weird that someone who's so effusive with his affection so often and readily "deflects a moment of genuine emotion." Which is also one of the reasons why Dick Grayson as a character is so fascinating because he's never what people expect him to be. He's like a puzzle box where every time you think you solved, you just opened yourself up to a hard, even more complex one wherein the process repeats on an endless cycle.

He's incredibly self-destructive in the way he drive a burning car off a bridge and he'll know it's on fire, he knows where he's going, but he'll do it anyway because the car has a bomb and it's safer with him than the civilians behind him.

You know what? I just realized he deflects intimate conversations because he wants to keep the focus on the other person. Since he was Robin, Dick has been purposefully neglecting his feelings in order to take care of Bruce's. Right after his parents died, he bottled up his sadness and sorrow because he was worried that Bruce would blame himself and he didn't want Bruce to do that.

It's always been "Tell me what's wrong, Bruce." He's been so busy raising his guardian, his friends, his siblings, his teammates, that Dick has sunk into the role of a performer - the spotlight's on him but the audience is the focus.

I didn't realize until writing this ask but self-destruction is just such a normal thing with him that it's become a part of his personality. In fics it's very obvious when he's being self-destructive or neglecting himself or etc because he's very aware of it but Dick in canon has just made it his thing. It's actually the Titans that realize this and yank him out of it because Dick has no idea what he does to himself.

The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #28

The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #28

He's not self-destructive in a way that he's conscious of it but his habits and his lifestyle don't really give him a choice. He literally works himself sick.

The Titans (1999) Issue #9

"Maybe it's too much. Dick --have you considered that? You're working Bludhaven, even joining their force, you still clearly intend to come here to Gotham every time he calls you -- working so hard you're making yourself sick,"

"No. It's not the newness that's the problem."

People are literally telling him to calm down and he's like 'No! I'm perfectly okay. This is fine, let's continue.'

And this isn't even going into when Blockbuster blew up his life and Dick kinda lost himself to hunt him down and make him pay. People understand that Desmond burnt down the circus but Dick was still connected to the people in that circus, like he used his contacts there to sometimes inquire about things going on Bludhaven. The people at the circus raised him along with his parents so killing them was like killing Dick's aunts and uncles and friends and childhood. What happened then and after the SA was catastrophic. To Dick self-destruction has just become a part of him because he aims for perfection in every aspect of his life.

Like Donna said, "He works with the Titans, on his own, goes to school, and then he works alongside Batman..." and so on. Usually people struggle to maintain even one area of their life like just school or family but Dick's juggling, his work, his family, his friends, his relationship, his teams, and is still on call for Justice League incidents.

Titans (2003) Issue #6

He literally dropped everything to come over and break up the Titans (OF WHICH HE IS NOT EVEN A PART OF RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HE'S IN THE MIDDLE OF DEALING WITH THE OUTSIDERS) and the Justice League full on fighting.

He's not self-destructive in the way he doesn't want to get out of bed or that he isn't clean, it's just that Dick Grayson is a machine. He's got ice in his veins and he just powers through everything. Everything he does has to be top notch, so sleep and social life and happiness can say goodbye because he's too busy for that. This is why the Titans are so important to him and for him because they realize this toxic trait of his and do their absolute best to yank him out of this bad habit because Dick certainly can't stop.

So self-destruction has become part of his personality but unlike in fics, it's conducive self-destruction. It comes from his refusal to feel any emotion that isn't for others because Big Brother Dick Grayson and Best Friend Dick Grayson are always there for everyone but the second he's asked to help himself or someone tries to help him, he flakes. He's the best at helping others and being there for them but he's allergic to getting help or talking about himself.

#dick grayson #nightwing #alfred pennyworth #donna troy #wonder girl #koriand'r #starfire #justice league #dc titans #cl randomenglishmajor asks #cl asks #thanks for the ask!

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

gevivys (beauty) │ Chapter 7: Confrontation

terms of endearment ‘verse: see my Masterlist for the correct series order!

Chapter 1 │Chapter 2 │Chapter 3 │Chapter 4 │Chapter 5 │Chapter 6 │Chapter 7 │Chapter 8 │Chapter 9 │Chapter 10 (COMPLETE!)

Synopsis: Daemon returns to King's Landing after ten years in exile, intent on rekindling his affair with Rhaenyra. He wasn't expecting you - the revelation changes everything.

Hello, everyone! AGAIN! Because this was originally a single chapter, I didn’t want to leave it on the cliffhanger I did with Chapter 6. Therefore, ya get a two-for-one deal today! YAY! Just got some edits to do of the remaining three chaps and then this instalment SHOULD be done and dusted. Thank you to my slap daddy @ewanmitchellcrumbs​ and my boo @randomdragonfires​ for graciously allowing me to yeet this at them in group chat!

TRIGGERS: incest, purity culture, violence, age gap.

Whenever something in his life goes wrong, the solution can be found in a brothel.

It is a precept that has ruled Daemon from the moment he had first seen a whore’s tits at the impressionable age of thirteen summers, Viserys having finally capitulated to setting him on the path to manhood. He’d found it between the thighs of a buxom redhead, or so he had thought; now, he’s not so sure. Nonetheless, he finds himself retreating to familiarity of fragrant burning oils and musk, of moans and sighs and the allure of gleaming flesh at times of struggle. It is where he had buried his vexation and frustration over his brother’s repeated refusals to take him seriously, where he had mourned the loss of his nephew, where he had spent the past ten years fucking away the anger and the guilt and the weight of everything he was.

It is where he has gone now, in the wake of that awful, senseless altercation with the Lord of the Reach after he had dared to—Hm. Don’t think of it. He’s not looking forward to the scolding his brother will give him when he returns.

Or, it occurs to him, what will come to light as a result of my actions.

That might be the very worst part of the whole affair. When the King goes hunting for a reason that his wayward brother would strike down a member of the nobility, he knows the event alone will not satisfy as a full account of what took place. For why would Daemon Targaryen come to blows over mere implication? And, for that matter, why would Daemon Targaryen be present at Lord Tyrell’s meeting with the Princess at all? From there, the web comes unbound, and he is discovered.

Fuck’s sake. This is not how he intended to broach the subject with Viserys.

The familiar sounds of breathy moans and slapping flesh fill the room as he sits upon the chaise, surveying the wares and nursing his fifth goblet of wine. He is pleasantly relaxed from the drink and the heady scent of fucking, the thrum of arousal warming his veins and pooling in his belly. It is not enough to coax a rise from within his breeches, but the ever-present stimulation is its own form of satisfaction. While his current associate—one of those on the fringes of his usual circle, an eager lad named Desmond or Desward or some such appellation—blathers on, Daemon idly casts his eyes around the room, taking in the abundance of unclothed forms, the roaming of hands and bouncing of breasts, the open-mouthed groaning of the whores as they earn their keep on their knees, against the wall, over the chair.

“… Which one do you like best, my Prince?”

He snaps back to attention at the direct inquiry from his companion. Desmond jerks his chin toward the figures in various stages of undress, cheap jewels glittering under the light of the chandelier.

A much nicer establishment this time around, Daemon muses. He doesn’t voice this aloud, however. “Hm. That one, perhaps.”

He lets his eyes linger on the taller whore, appreciating the dusky glow of her hair as it spirals ink-dark from her crown. She twists her body winningly upon realising he is watching her, biting her lip and tossing her head back to display the elegant line of her neck. She’s not to his tastes, but that is precisely her appeal.

“Thought you would’ve gone with that pale-haired girl there,” Desward says, pointing out the smaller, white-haired waif prancing about with her gown peeled down to her waist, modest tits springing with each lively step.

Daemon swallows. She reminds him of you. No. He doesn’t want to think of you, not after the way you had looked at him. “Explain,” he says coldly.

This man hadn’t been present for those key occasions in which his little entanglement with Rhaenyra had come up. So how has he come to such a conclusion on his own?

Desmond’s expression twists apprehensively. “I just… everyone knows of your taste for silver-haired maidens, milord.”

Everyone does, do they? He’s not surprised to hear the rumours circling of his predilection for maidens, but the distinction here is new. There’d never been enough common stock with Valyrian features in Westeros for such a preference to be made public knowledge; and talk of the misconduct that had gotten him banished had never been all that widespread. The only possible avenue of this latest speculation is…

Fucking Dargood.

Later, he thinks, striding toward the object of his interest. I’ll deal with him later.

His irritation boils his blood just enough to incite a twitch of intrigue from his cock as he casts his eye over her critically. She’s a pleasing enough shape, though the hair is too fine and the mouth too small. Good enough.

“I hope I am to your liking, my Prince,” she murmurs, pushing her shoulders back so that her form is bared a little more easily to his regard.

He grunts, eyeing the finely groomed mound that conceals his eve’s prize, and he cannot help but extend his hand to cup the plumpness of her, to trace a digit through silken petals to toy with the bud at the apex.

Either she’s had a customer already or she’s had her fun before venturing down, he mulls, rubbing the sticky wetness from her soft, swollen entrance between thumb and finger. The give is not the same as it would have been from grease alone. Ah—a whore worthy of the name.

Daemon allows her to grab him by the wrist and lead him through the room, through a darkened corridor and into an empty chamber. ‘Tis one of several, he observes, and quite finely furnished for an establishment of ill-repute. Of course, they are visiting the Street of Silk this time; the standards are far higher than that dilapidated hovel in Flea Bottom.

He pushes the girl away when she makes for the buttons of his jacket.

“I’m not intending to linger, pet,” he says, leading her hand down to the laces of his breeches. She nods, smirking impishly as she works at the fastenings. When they come loose, he presses her back onto the bed, reaching into his pants to withdraw his cock.

“My Prince!” She is already spreading her legs like a little slut, fingers plucking hedonistically at her nipples. He leers at her, fondling the soft warmth of her exposed cunt. She is primed and ready for him, a consummate professional in her art.

He wishes the sight stirred him more.

“Call me ‘Uncle’.” He damns his weakness even as he crawls on top of her and shoves her legs further apart, notching his cock at her entrance.

He’d not had this fucking obsession before you—back when he’d thought himself enamoured with your sister, it had been enough to simply eke out his lusts on the nearest hole available, quick and rough and barely memorable. How you have unmanned him! How pathetic he has become. How woeful it is that he cannot endure something so instinctive, so primordial as mating without the thought of you to help him along.

The girl blinks; smiles. “Uncle! Oh, Uncle,” she breathes, the inflection all wrong, sounding nothing like you.

He plunges harshly into her, the glide hot and wet and too easy. It is nothing like taking your maidenhead would feel like, nothing like the tight resistance of a nervous virgin. He closes his eyes and pounds into the whore below him. This time, it is different; he is in control, he knows he is picturing you and he lets himself, permits the mirage of you to fill his mind’s eye and imagines the way your eyes might widen with mingling trust and hesitation as he breaches you.

“Uncle, my Prince, fuck—”

He slaps a hand over her mouth, irritated by the disruption of his fantasy. You would never say such a thing in the midst of your deflowering, he is sure of it. When the whore’s voice is stifled, pitchy whimpers emanating from under his palm, he can almost convince himself it is you, can almost lose himself in the slip of cunt and glide of skin.

Daemon moans your name again—the game is up and it’s not long before he’s either exiled or given you, so what is the point in pretence—and suckles dark bruises down her throat, imagining it is the pale skin of your beguiling flesh. When he opens his eyes to stare into yours, he is confronted with the dull green of the whore’s below him.

What am I doing? What am I doing? Usually, the shame and aggravation sinks in once the firestorm of ecstasy has burnt itself out. It is just his luck that it strikes mid-coupling now.

“Fuck.” He begins to soften in spite of his hips driving a determined rhythm, desperate to keep the illusion alive just a little longer. It is not to be. “Fuck.”

He pulls out of the whore, sitting back on his haunches. He cannot go through with it. He cannot slink away, bury himself in a whore and pretend as though it’s you, not when he could be trying to win the real thing. He cannot disgrace you by fucking another and wishing it was your face he sees. It would have been preferable had the revelation come sooner—or later. He does not enjoy exposing his weakness before peasant stock.

He sighs—wipes his hand over his eyes—tucks himself back into his breeches, knotting the laces once more.

“My Prince?” she asks, legs splayed and cunt raw and red from his vigorous pace.

He smiles wryly down at her, thumbing three silvers into her hand.

“My apologies, pet,” he says, pulling himself off the bed and heading to the door. “I’ve got somewhere to be.”

When Viserys had summoned him after his night in the brothel so long ago, he’d known immediately what it was about.

Foolish of him, really, to have said what he did. The heir for a day. To be fair, he’d not meant it as mockery of Viserys’s pain or Aemma’s suffering, of Rhaenyra’s grief or your confusion. For all the commons had jibed of his anger and resentment, the Rogue Prince forced down the line of succession by a mere newborn, he had never truly felt umbrage toward his own nephew. How could he? He remembers cradling that boy in his arms, still numb with the shock of his cousin’s death, his brother nowhere to be seen; he remembers those gasping wheezes of his, tiny lips tinged purple with the effort of drawing air into lungs that did not wish to rise. Baelon had passed on in only a few hours, taking with him the Realm’s hope for another heir. Someone other than him.

The King’s vitriol was understandable, if unjustified; in a rare display of restraint, Daemon had allowed the man to rail at him over the perceived slight, all too aware of who had been whispering in his ear. It was clear that Otto Hightower had gleaned the details from one of those nearby on the night of his unfortunate blunder, and had used the information to strip him of his standing.

He should have known better than to trust those he used to surround himself with. He should have learned by now.

Daemon returns to the Keep as the hour of the ghosts sets in, the dim illumination of the torches bracketing the walls casting an eerie reminiscence upon his path. He’s faced Viserys’s wrath one too many times, those occasions blurring together so that he is several iterations of himself simultaneously.

Daemon the soldier. Daemon the drunkard. Daemon the outcast. He walks in the shadow of his former selves.

It is not long before he is confronted by the silent, scowling form of the Lord Commander. He holds his arms up, palms out, a clear signal of surrender.

“I assume my brother wishes to see me?” he asks, only to be provided a brief nod in return.

A man of few words, he notes to himself. ‘Tis welcome to see that some things don’t change.

He is honestly surprised that he isn’t dragged into the Great Hall again—it is already a significant departure from the previous two events that had gotten him exiled. There is less substantiation and more happenstance in these circumstances, he supposes. Well, with the exception of his assault on Tyrell; there is no denying that occurred. But not even Viserys would take a flowery fuck like him at his word, and he is sure to have untruths aplenty to impart.

Instead, he is escorted into the Small Council chamber, where Viserys sits alone at the head of the table, staring pensively at the wood grain. He barely acknowledges Ser Harrold’s pronouncement. Abruptly, he sits up, takes in the view of his brother and his Lord Commander, and clenches his teeth.

“You may leave us, Ser Harrold,” he says, eyes fixed upon Daemon.

He steels himself. This time, he has nothing to be ashamed of—except for his conduct with Tyrell, and maybe the whore, perhaps both… At least this time he isn’t being accused of lechery.

“I had thought you tempered by the years away.” The King’s grip is white-knuckled upon the arm of his seat. “And yet I learn today a most curious thing: the assault of a noble Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and accusations leveraged by that very same Lord against my beloved daughter’s reputation. He claims her to be entangled in an affair with another. Who could have done such a thing, I asked? Who other than Lord Flea Bottom himself—my very own brother?”

Never mind, then. By the end of his oration, his words sound more like the sibilant hiss of a snake than the utterances of a man.

“Brother—”

“You will be silent, wretch!” Viserys snaps, smacking his palm down on the table. His pockmarked face has flushed ugly red, apoplectic with thinly veiled fury. “How could you do this? Ruining Rhaenyra wasn’t enough for you, is that it? You had to go and spoil my second child, my beloved girl, for your own selfish amusement?”

“I have done nothing, Viserys!”

“I am your King!” He pushes himself from his chair by his hand and stalks over to stand before Daemon. He is limping again as he is wont to do these days. “You will address me as ‘Your Grace’!”

“Your Grace.” Daemon bows his head slightly in deference. He cannot afford to anger the man further. “While I’ll confess to the abuse levied upon Lord Tyrell, I cannot admit to something I didn’t do. I haven’t touched her—”

“Oh, you haven’t?” Viserys laughs, but it is a repugnant, mocking sound. His features are firmly arranged into an expression of revulsion. “So Ser Criston’s reports of your—indecent behaviour are falsities, is that correct?”

“Cole?” Daemon asks incredulously. “The man hates me, Viserys. Why the fuck are you listening to him?”

His brother makes a noise of outrage. “Very well. A cruel gleam lingers in his eyes. “And what is this I hear of you—you—cavorting about with whores, encouraging them to playact as my daughter so that you may seek your pleasure?”

Daemon’s stomach sinks. Oh, fuck.

Viserys continues. “Your man from the City Watch—Dargood—had little issue telling the tale. What say you to that?” A great many things, brother; and none of them for your ears. The King sneers. “I have half a mind to cut your cock from you and remedy your wickedness once and for all!”

“What would you have me do? Lie? I’ll admit to fucking whores and pretending they were her. Tell me you’ve never let your desires rule your bedsport!” Daemon lets out a derisive scoff. “But I’ll not stand here and be accused of undue conduct when I’ve been nothing short of chivalrous in your daughter’s company.”

“You have an answer for everything, don’t you? Lech!” Viserys leans back against the table. When next he speaks, his voice is heavy with distaste. “Begone from this city, Daemon. You have outstayed your welcome once again.”

He shakes his head. “No.”

“No?”

Incredulity. Daemon supposes it is fair; he’d never resisted exile before.

“No,” he repeats firmly. “Save for the business with Tyrell, I’ve done nothing wrong. You have no grounds to banish me.”

“No grounds? No grounds?” The King’s pitch is rising. “Attention! Flattery! Gifts! It is a game I know well! A game you’ve played with my first child, and now my second!”

“I am not after ruining her reputation, Your Grace,” Daemon insists. His brother huffs and spins away, pacing before him. “I would have her as my wife.”

Viserys pauses.

“Are you in jest?” He looks almost as though he is torn between laughter and tears. “How do you think you’ll go about getting my throne from her? Do you plan on slaying Rhaenyra and her sons to get your crown?”

It is an abhorrent thought. Daemon cannot believe his brother would think so lowly of him. Briefly, he mourns the bond he once had with him, a bond that has frayed and corrupted under the weight of the Seven Kingdoms.

“It’s not about the Iron Throne, Viserys!” He alters his approach, beseeching his brother and urgently pressing his case. “I am the best match for her, and you know it. A Targaryen prince, a warrior, a dragonrider. There is none other who would compare, none other who could give her a just union such as I, least of all that idiot Tyrell—”

“What of Lord Jason Lannister? I would have her wed into Casterly Rock, far away from your grasping ambition!” Viserys’s gaze is considering, now. No longer is he beholden to the blind rage that had gripped him only moments before. “As for your lofty claim… it is Alicent’s wish that I announce the girl’s betrothal to Aegon, who is also a Targaryen prince and a dragonrider. Why should I not heed her instead?”

He's tempted to laugh, but doing so would only incite further ire. No matter the cost, Daemon will not concede to a green boy who seems more satisfied in acting like a child than behaving like a man.

“The boy is awful to her, Your Grace. She dislikes him. And the Lannister cunt? A simpleton. She’d be wasted on a fool like him, and you know it.”

His brother tips his head in acknowledgement and exhales frustratedly, leaning against the Small Council table. Much of the fight has left him.

“You are right… But how can I allow this?” Viserys whispers. He is bowed over the table, slumped and defeated. “How could you do this to her? To me?”

“What have I done?” Daemon draws closer. “I’ve spoken with her, taken walks with her, given her gifts. It is nothing more than that. I doubt she ever saw it as more than an uncle taking interest in his niece, until today. I swear this to you upon anything you wish to name.”

The King chuckles, though it carries no joy. “Such sincerity, Daemon. It is most unlike you.”

“I want her as my wife,” he says again, pleading. “Not for the sake of the throne, or to harm you, or any other reason save this—I want her.”

“I cannot…” is the response, muted and distressed. Viserys glances up at him. “You would destroy her.”

He is upset, resigned, but no longer alight with infuriation. Daemon leans against the table next to his brother.

“I would make her happy. Happier than any other. She could stay in the capital with her family. She could ride that great beast of hers whenever she likes. She could study to her heart’s content, at home where she belongs. Only I can give her all those things, and you know it. I am what she needs.”

Viserys does not reply—only stares at him, something foreign and inscrutable in his visage.

He makes his final bid. “Long have I been your staunchest supporter. Did I not wage a war in the Stepstones in defense of your kingdom? I have never asked for anything in return, except this: long ago, you promised that you’d annul my marriage so that I might find a bride of my own choosing. Years, I asked. Years, you denied me. And now… I am free.” 

Daemon’s voice rings out in the stillness, the echo lending gravity to his words. He stares unflinchingly at his brother. “Give the girl to me to wife. You owe me this.”

The King is silent, unmoving. It is clear he has nothing left to say. And thus, Daemon has no reason to remain.

He bows and knocks on the door to be let out of the room. Passing through the walkway of the Small Council chambers as it opens, he leaves the King to his deliberations and hopes that his efforts will pay off.

“For all your degeneracy,” Daemon sneers, “you’re not one to be so loose with secrets.”

The air is chilled with the deep dark of night, the blackness so thick it is almost choking. He doesn’t enjoy the necessity of returning to the scene of his transgressions, but his wayward friend is easy to discover in the depths of the city.

Below him, Dargood pants and splutters, winded after being struck in the gut and dragged from his stool in a cheap, nameless drinking house; Daemon had lugged him rather briskly by the neck to the narrow alleyway beside the tavern, the amber luminosity pooling from the rickety window providing just enough light for him to make out the man’s face.

Dargood coughs. “Times change. A man’s got to do what he must to make coin in this city.”

“City Watch not paying you enough?” Daemon observes him as his eyes begin to droop shut, no doubt a combination of the drink and the knock to the skull as he’d been pulled out the door. He kicks him in the side for good measure, relishing in the yelp emitted when the leather makes contact with vulnerable flesh. “What a shame. Whoever could blame you for selling slanders to the King, then?”

His former ally scrambles to his knees, swaying unsteadily against the stone. “It’s not like that. And ‘slander’ only counts when it’s not true.”

He has a point, Daemon’s mind cannot help but acknowledge.

Dargood babbles on, heedless of the aggravation rising in the figure above him. “I didn’t mention anything outside what I heard and saw—”

“Oh, fuck off!” Daemon clouts him across the temple once more. He collides with the wall with a subdued thump, punctuated by further groaning. “Your father’s a lord. You don’t need the money.”

“Because it’d be so easy for me to beg that man for compassion.” Dargood spits the words out as though they taste foul on his tongue.

Ah, yes—he’d quite forgotten. A lesser son from a lesser House would hardly have recourse to cast himself upon the fires of mercy after amassing a reputation as dissolute as the man’s before him. Whoring, gambling, brawling, and there’d even been some more unsavoury rumours about his involvement in some scheme exploiting the poorest orphans of the city; he’d not cared to ask then, but perhaps he should have. He does not recognise the being before him.

Scum, he realises. He’s scum.

Daemon steps back, assessing the beaten creature that he had once called friend. He sighs. “Go home, Dargood,” he says finally. “Leave this city, or you’ll be made to.”

Before he can turn and walk away, the man lurches to his feet, grappling along the rock behind him to support his unsteady mass. His bloodshot eyes zero in on his target.

“So that’s it, then?” he asks, irate cadence marred by the slur in his speech. “You’ll just throw me aside when you feel like it? After all these years, Prince.”

A brief flicker of displeasure stirs Daemon’s temper. “Yes—your Prince. You sold out your Prince for some fucking coin.”

Come to think of it… Wasn’t he making his little remarks before word reached my brother?

The memory has his hands locked tight around the man’s throat before his mind can become fully cognisant of his actions. “In fact”—his fingers squeeze harder—“you sold out your Prince for status. Didn’t even need the money to spread your tales, did you?”

“Let—let go!” Dargood chokes, making no attempt to release himself from Daemon’s hold. He ought to be capable of such a feat; his training was thorough enough.

Pathetic. He’s not worth the bother.

Daemon loosens his grasp, surveying the vermin that had been his proudest investiture, a shining example of what the City Watch could achieve with discipline and decisiveness as its fundamental tenets. Now, he is no more than rabble, one among thousands of crooks, delinquents and filth polluting his ancestor’s crowning glory.

“Hm. You disappoint me.” With a final glower of disdain, he adds, “Expect a visit from your Lord Commander when day breaks. I think you’ll find your tenure with the Watch is at an end.”

With that, Daemon revolves on his heel and stalks away, far from Flea Bottom, from these havens of vice lining the streets, and from the poison that had fuelled his life in past years. He has no need for such a meaningless existence now. There is something better and brighter to look forward to.

“My Prince! Daemon!”

He ignores Dargood’s supplications even as they grow louder, leaving him behind—where he belongs.

Read on AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42100623/chapters/106069425

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[isa-belle1367]

Desmond angst post bc I love making yall cry over desmond😈

Do you guys think the reason desmond was so quick to give up his life for the world was because he felt guilty for Lucy, Clay, Cross, Ezio, etc and so he felt that this was his way making amends for what he has done.

Do you guys think desmond knew from the beginning that he was going to die, but he just accepted it because in his mind he deserved it for failing everyone. His parents, Lucy, his friends, etc.

Do you guys think he hid his bleeding effect episodes because he didn't want to be a burden.

Do you think William could see when desmond was struggling but didn't know how to reach out so he lived for the rest of his life blaming himself for desmonds death.

Do you think every time desmond killed someone, he was eaten alive with guilt, and his mind would scream at him, telling him he's a murderer.

Do you think when desmond got out of his coma and was told he needed to go back in the animus, he had a panic attack.

Do you think Clay's voice haunts desmond every night as a painful reminder of what he failed to do.

Do you think desmond developed ptsd and can no longer hear loud noises with tensing up.

Do you think desmond started forgetting his own life, and by the end, he could barely remember his own name or where he used to work.

Do you think desmond stopped reacting to someone calling his name because he was no longer used to that name, so it took him a moment to realize someone was talking to him.

Do you think from his time in his coma for weeks after he felt phantom aches in his bones.

Do you think desmond started picking up an Italian accent, and every time someone pointed it out, he would have to force his voice back to normal.

Do you think he was hearing the voices of his ancestors when he died.

Do you think he started getting migranes and nose bleeds from the animus to the point where he would almost pass out.

I just want you to remember that in his final days, he was probably in so much pain that death was mercy.😊

#i hope you cry reading this #i havent made a desmond post in a while #hope you enjoy the tears #🤗 #assassin's creed #desmond miles #sad desmond #angst #desmond

[itstimetotheorize]

Melinda’s struggle

As the Hostage situation of chapter “69” is finally drawn to a close, we see Yor appear after relentlessly searching for her all throughout the town on foot. However, to our surprise, and to the surprise of Damian, Melinda also shows up to the scene not long after Yor arrived. 

When Anya reads Melinda’s mind, she states Melinda's thoughts are on the same level as Yuri whenever he thinks about Yor, which is oftentimes an head flooded with an overwhelming amount of concern, love and admiration for Yor. Within Melinda’s mind, we see she loves Damian and genuinely did feel terrified over the hostage situation which had occurred, because had it not been resolved, Damian would have likely died.

However, the moment Damian shifts to the topic of his father, something bizarre happens. Damian, though happy to see his mother so worried about him and actually make effort to come and see him, asks she not tell his father (Donovan) that he cried as he does not wish to worry him, but the moment he does... Melinda’s mind begins to shift back and forth between loving and hating Damien to an extreme degree. 

Of all the questions we have about Melinda, why would she have such mixed feelings about Damian? Then again... it's not the first time we've seen her act this way. Back in chapter 66, as Yor tries to apologize for Anya punching Damian, Melinda's behavior shifts the moment she explains how Donovan only saw it as a pointless matter between two kids. 

The other women say the Desmonds have a more hands off parenting philosophy...and yet...what if it had nothing to do with parenting?...what if...it had everything to do with Melinda’s relationship with Donovan?.

We don't know much about the relationship between Donovan and Melinda, but given she spends much of her time out and about with others doing various activities, then could it be Melinda  wasn't just hanging out with friends for the fun of it? ...but rather... to purposely avoid her family by doing as much as possible throughout the day?...maybe. As we know from the WISE reports, she never did anything that could provide insight to the Desmond family, the only thing they knew was that she was estranged from her husband and sons, but perhaps this estranged relationship she had with them was never the result of her being a bad parent and wife, no, what if maybe...just maybe...it was always her attempts to distance herself from a family and marriage she never wanted.

Looking back, there was always one thing many of us had forgotten to consider until we remembered the circumstances surrounding Yor and Loid. Although Yor and Loid both agreed to marry each other for convenience, they actually gradually  began to realize they liked being with each other... and yet... all the while we watched their growing bond, many of us had forgotten one very crucial, very obvious detail... which is that marriages like theirs...might have never been the only ones, even more so...they may not all be happy ones. Where am I going with this? Well... what if maybe...just maybe....that’s exactly what happened to Melinda. Melinda married Donovan and yet...could it be Melinda ...never wanted to be married to Donovan?,... could it be she never wanted to be a Desmond?...maybe.

The Desmond family is highly sought after by other families, but with such a pristine family like theirs, odds are, they made sure to only marry their children to others of equal status. After all, being a Desmond meant you had a reputation anyone would find impressive, but it was also a reputation you had to be careful in how to uphold.  All throughout the series, we see many children are motivated to befriend Damian so their parents could enter his fathers social circle.

  If Melinda’s family was among the masses who wanted to be involved with the Desmond’s simply because of their family name, then could it be Melinda and Donovan married, not out of love, and not necessarily out of convenience for each other... but for the convenience of both their families?...in other words...was Melinda forced into a marriage to Donovan in order to uphold her families expectations of being connected to the Desmond Family, just as so many others have tried to do?...honestly who's to say.

When Melinda talked to Damian in chapter 75, she didn't refer to Donovan as her husband, let alone as Damian's father, no, to Melinda, Donovan was simply “That Man”, indicating that despite being married to Donovan, Melinda never saw him as a loving husband, just someone in her life she had to learn to avoid. Now, if Melinda had truly been thrown into a loveless marriage with Donovan, then odds are...her life with him was a painful one to live as it now revolved around his word and never her own...and maybe...just maybe.. it became even worse the day she gave birth to his children... children she was quick to resent as she saw Donovan and the struggles of her life in them.

In chapter 75, Melinda’s mind began to fill with mixed feelings of both loving and hating Damian, the moment Damian brought up his father and showed concern for him over the hostage situation he was just in. Of course, Damian only assumed if his mother was worried about him, it meant his father was to. Sadly, given Melinda was the only one to show up...he likely wasn’t. Based on Melinda’s complex thought’s, its as if part of Melinda wants to be free to love Damian, but the other part can’t help but also resent him. So then...why did Melinda show up to comfort and worry about the child she resented?

Up to now, Melinda had never revealed herself to show her support and care for Damian. She didn’t show up to his school orientation, she never called him over the phone  and she did not appear at the school grounds during the imperial scholars mixer when Damian wanted to talk about how he achieved his first Stella star, regardless if Donovan met him or not. Of all the times Melinda did not show herself for Damian's sake, why did she now choose to appear and comfort Damian in chapter 75? Well, the only change we know of which happened to Melinda recently....was that she met Yor.

In chapter 66, when Melinda questioned Yor about  Damian, Yor’s response in confirming what Melinda’s staff had told her, may not have just caused her to feel relieved in knowing her son was happy, rather...what if it was more than that? If Donovan is as truly heartless and unsympathetic as Loid says he is, and if  Melinda had truly held her children in the same regards as their father, then could it be hearing Yor talk about Damian, was enough to leave her wondering if perhaps Damian... was not at all like her husband?.

If what we theorize is true, then this would mean meeting Yor made Melinda see Damian in a new light the moment she began to hear about how happy his life is at Eden academy, and how he befriended a young girl who, according to Damian himself back in chapter 9, was considered a commoner and not at all within the standards of the Desmond’s to befriend as he alone was entitled to be above all others and never be considered someone others should defy. A complete contrast to how Damian is now after having interacted with Anya for so long

And so, in chapter 75, when Melinda met Damian after the hostage situation was resolved, for a moment, it was as if Melinda didn’t just look at Damian as her son...but a boy who was not affiliated with Donovan and the Desmond legacy. 

However, as Melinda heard Damian show concern for his father, it was as if Melinda realized she had forgotten a very cruel and painful truth. Damian is her son, but... he is also proof of the ongoing misery in her life, and so long as Damian sees his father as someone he should strive to become and do whatever it takes to uphold the Desmond Legacy, Melinda will continue to see him not just as her son, but the son of Donovan, a son who will inevitably one day grow up to be just like his father. 

And if she feels this way about Damian, then how does she feel about Demetrius? Demetrius is much older, but given his phone conversation with Damian in chapter 37, Demetrius also had a tendency to be cold and distant towards others, including his little brother. 

Although this does beg the question, if Melinda views both of her children as nothing more than a curse and a reminder of her painful life as a Desmond, then...what will it take for Melinda to stop viewing Damian(and possibly Demetrius) as a curse and instead as just her son?... well...the answer to this may have always been presented to us from the start...Damian... must realize his father is not the man he envisioned him to be, and no matter what he does, let alone what happens to him, Donovan will never become the father he dreamed he would become if he were to uphold the Desmond name by becoming a scholar, all things which he came close to realizing back in chapter 37 but quickly let go the moment Donovan gave him an fraction of praise.

If Damian were to truly realize his father was just as much of a monster Loid grew to understand, then perhaps his choice to separate himself from his fathers shadow and the entire Desmond legacy, may become the driving factor in Melinda not only shedding her resentment towards her children over a marriage she never wanted,...but also become her reason for possibly betraying Donovan when the  time comes for WISE and Loid to face Donovan.But hey...its just a theory...a SpyxFamily theory.

#spy x family #sxf #loid forger #Yor Forger #anya forger #melinda desmond #donovan desmond #damian desmond #Spy x Family Theory #spy x family theories #sxf theory #sxf spoilers #spy x family analysis

[lost-art-of-world-domination]

What are your thoughts on Winter? Especially in regards to how her dynamic with Valkyrie has changed. I dunno, some aspects of that were pretty interesting to me

What a good ask! I agree, there are some very interesting aspects to Winter! I really enjoyed her inclusion in the book. Spoilers for A Mind Full of Murder to come, in case anyone hasn’t read it.

I’m not going to pretend I immediately called Winter being Alice, and I think the surprise was very well done, but I did have my suspicions after her “Not any more” line about evil in her family.

Winter Grieving is a name that is almost laughable in its edginess, but for a jaded teen such as Winter it does suit, and I like that it’s something more complex and unique than “Malice” (even though I liked that character).

I also really appreciated Winter’s whole perspective on Valkyrie. She’s rather practical, and won’t ignore her sister at her own risk, such as asking her for help at the end of the book, but I like that, in a way that seems like she can’t even help it, some part of her hates Val.

I like that it’s not necessarily a view we can support, but one definitely understandable given the character and what’s occurred. It reminds me a bit of Auger’s doubt over his future once the prophecy was complete. It’s an interesting question of what a Chosen One does once what they’ve been Chosen for either happens or falls through- whether that’s as a hero or a world-ender.

What Val did was obviously entirely a selfless act of sacrifice and love for her sister, and I like that Landy doesn’t undercut that decision, but simply acknowledges that even an act such as that can have unintended consequences, especially with where it leaves Winter.

Also I like that Winter is jaded, but not cartoonishly evil, and instead, like a lot of teens, vulnerable to bad influences such as the anti-mortal movement in order to deal with their own issues. This is obviously only worsened by having such a famous sibling, and it makes sense for Winter to be lashing out a bit to cope with being in Val’s shadow. It’s subtle and concerning for a character we’ve seen since she was a baby, but I’m excited to see where it goes. Although one thing that didn’t really work is that final moment. Fine on its own and in the context of Winter’s story, but as the end to the whole book it fell a little flat.

One element of Winter’s story I also like is how, from Valkyrie’s side, there’s just a bit of a wall with her younger sister who she used to be so close with, which again is the kind of realistic touch that makes the magical world of Skulduggery Pleasant work so well. It’s also tragic for Melissa and Desmond, who should never have to experience anything bad ever.

One last note I like about Winter is her burgeoning magical skill. She’s not super powerful yet, as evidenced by her struggling with the classic fear vs magic problem we see lots of young sorcerers tackle, but she’s shown some elemental powers and, especially interesting, some pretty solid teleportation. Sure it was just from the ground floor through a window, but it’s been made clear how difficult a skill this is for any sorcerer.

So overall, really interesting character and story, and I can’t wait to see more of Winter and her arc and relationships in the books to come.

#skulduggery pleasant #a mind full of murder #valkyrie cain #amfom #book 16 #ask! #keep the asks coming! #thanks for the ask! #winter grieving #alice edgley

[yumeka-sxf]

A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 18

*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

----------

In hopes of finding a way to meet Desmond at the Imperial Scholar's mixer, Twilight sneaks around Eden in disguise. But unbeknownst to him, Anya reads his mind and realizes what he's trying to do. She urges Damian to meet with his father in spite of the second thoughts he has. Twilight hides behind a building, listening as she says she's not even sure if her papa likes her or not, but she's still going to tell him that she failed her test because she loves and believes in him. We don't get to hear any of Twilight's thoughts during her speech, and his expression remains neutral. Even when the kids leave, his first reaction is confusion about why Anya would suddenly say such things, but happy nonetheless that she did indeed persuade Damian to meet his father.

However, when he does finally meet with Desmond later on, it seems that Anya's words may have struck a chord in him. He puts on his most extreme Loid Forger performance during his encounter with Damian while looking for the "lost" keychain, trying his best to find any opening to invite himself to meet Damian's father. And of course, as is typical for him, beneath all the pretending, he does genuinely feel bad about what he has to do. He internally apologizes to Damian for having to cut in on his reunion with his father, but for the sake of his mission (a.k.a. the happiness of many over the happiness of few) it must be done.

Once Desmond finally appears, the pressure ramps up as Twilight has to choose every word carefully so as not to arouse even an ounce of suspicion. He does all he can to find a way for Desmond to agree to talk with him more, but eventually Desmond halts the conversation. However, when Damian expresses his disdain for his father's nonchalant attitude about Anya punching him, Twilight voices his agreement with Damian.

This is probably the most major example thus far of Twilight doing something he personally feels is right even though it could potentially be detrimental to his mission. I say this is the most major example because having a favorable relationship with Desmond is literally all he's been striving for since starting Operation Strix, so he shouldn't take any risk no matter how slight, like showing support for Damian's disagreement with Desmond. Yet, he chooses to take Damian's side over that of Desmond's, similar to how he chose to stick up for Anya and Yor at the Eden interview even though it went against what was best for the mission. While it is true that it's better for "plan B" if Damian has a good relationship with his father, it's also a very delicate subject for Twilight to pursue at that moment, when Desmond had only just met him. Regardless, he's able to steer the conversation in a way that gets his points across but doesn't come off as hostile to Desmond.

He first tries to evoke some kindred feelings with Desmond by talking about the struggles he has dealing with Anya's irrational behavior and how challenging it is to raise a child (perhaps his confusion about Anya's behavior from earlier encouraged him to bring this up).

When Desmond flatly responds that people can never truly understand each other, even their own children, Twilight is taken aback. His darkened expression betrays a hint of resentment towards the other man's pessimistic ideals, but he manages to keep up the Loid Forger act regardless. In typical Twilight fashion, he's able to express his true ideals under the guise of his fake identity – in this case, he uses his cover-up job as a psychiatrist to explain why he thinks it's best for people to keep trying to understand others even if they can only meet them "in the middle" so to speak. He also mentions that even though much of what Anya says doesn't make sense to him, acknowledging her nonetheless creates an opportunity for understanding. And as he's saying these things to Desmond, we can hear what he's really thinking at the time – that he'll never stop trying to understand others.

He cleverly ends his spiel by proposing that Desmond had in fact done what he had described – decided to take time out of his busy schedule to meet with his son. That would have been a good spot to end the conversation and not push his luck, but instead, in his shrewd Twilight way, he decides to help bring father and son closer by mentioning the speech Damian gave about Desmond for the class project. He even made an attempt to score Anya points with Damian by saying that she was the one who told him about it because she was so moved. From there, he's able to smoothly steer the conversation to Desmond's job as political chairman, from which he then creates an opening for himself to express his admiration for Desmond and an interest in his political party.

Once Desmond confirms that he knows Loid Forger's name and has formed a favorable opinion of him, Twilight wraps up the whole encounter by making sure "plan B" is still an option; he tells Damian that Anya doesn't hate him and asks if he'd try to get along with her.

This whole scene really showcases how exceptional Twilight is at being a spy – his masterful command of deceitful words that he uses to steer people into feeling what he wants them to feel and view things in a way that benefits his mission, but aren't completely against his moral principles either. As I mentioned before, attempting to reconcile father and son's relationship, even going so far as to pat Damian on the shoulder and ramble on about how great his speech was, may have been pushing it a bit for his very first meeting with Desmond. But as we've seen many times before, Twilight is an empathetic person. Even while in the midst of making major progress with one of his missions, like finally meeting Desmond, he decides to say and do what he feels is right no matter how risky. I'm sure he felt bad for Damian after realizing what kind of a person Desmond is. And perhaps he can also relate to Damian due to his estranged relationship with his own father.

Continue to Part 19 ->

<- Return to Part 17

#spy x family #sxf #spy family #spyxfamily #loid forger #sxf analysis #sxf meta #sxf manga spoilers #sxf spoilers

[angelique-of-the-volturi-guard]

You GUYS I had a thought and honestly I’m crying.

The mission is nearly over. It’s almost the day of the sting on Donovan Desmond, and Anya is terrified. After a nightmare, she breaks down to Loid and Yor, and accidentally reveals her power when she says something they’d only thought of about each other. And in that moment she says that she knows who they are, thereby revealing them to each other, and herself.

At first they try and play it off, but as she keeps explaining, it’s evident she’s telling the truth. Loid and Yor are stunned at the revelation, but as they hear how she often worked to help them both, and believed in them, they realize she won’t compromise them. Not only that, but she’d been shouldering the weight of everything in the mission on her own.

Loid quickly realizes two things: He doesn’t want to let go of the two of them, and that Anya could be very helpful to the cause of WISE. So he asks her permission to speak to his handler about her and Yor, and they both agree.

He tells his handler of how they’d helped him on his mission, and asks that they be allowed to work for the agency, with Anya under their protection and permanent care. And Sylvia, after speaking with the higher ups, gives permission for them to stay together. Anya officially gets to be a spy and often helps Franky with gathering intel.

The sting on Desmond goes off without a hitch, and Anya is finally allowed to be herself with her family. Loid and Yor are completely enthralled with one another after seeing the other in a fight and start really falling in love with each other. They both agree it’s not best to tell Yuri the truth, but it’s not as though they were struggling with that in the first place. Yuri himself is still opposed to Loid being a part of his family, but he can see that Yor is happy and it’s enough to appease him. Bond, perhaps, is the only one who had a happy ending all along.

With them now knowing that Anya is younger than she appears, Loid helps her to play catch up with everything she hadn’t been taught. And though her grades don’t magically turn to A’s, they go up significantly. Franky is absolutely amused by what’s happened, but is happy to continue on as a fun uncle. His interactions with Anya eventually land him a woman who thinks the way they interact is adorable, and Franky is grateful that Loid picked such a great kid.

Becky continues being Anya’s friend, and without the weight of the mission on her shoulders, Anya stops trying so hard to be Damian’s friend, which in turn starts to make him chase her. They become actual friends shortly after that, with Emile and Ewen eventually growing a bit closer to her. But not much. Henry Henderson becomes the headmaster of Eden Academy after a few years, and still keeps a close eye on Anya. He’s secretly quite proud of her.

Peace is maintained in Ostania, and the Forger family gets to stay together. And all of them get their happily ever after.

#spy x family #anya headcanons #yor headcanons #loid headcanons #loid and yor #anya and loid #loid forger #yor and anya #yor forger #anya forger #i just love them #they deserve happiness

[lolotheparagon]

Sofia the First Season 2 in a Nutshell

Two Princesses and a Baby - 10/10

Amber wishes she wouldnt have to share her birthday with her twin James, so he gets magically turned into a toddler. Hijnks ensue. Another brilliant moment of character growth for Amber and showing how much she really cares for James, despite them being polar opposites.

The Enchanted Feast - 9/10

Miss Nettle returns disguised as a visiting sorceress in order to steal the amulet but Sofia is having none of that shit so she gets her critter army to stop Nettle. Also Snow White is here in properly the best media appearance she will ever get since Kingdom Hearts

The Flying Crown - 3/10

Sofia befriends the brooding jock Prince Hugo cos apparently she doesnt have a life. Look, I know you need to work with him to do your flying derby race, Sof, but dont bother with this Hunter expy.

Mom's The Word - 10/10

Its Sofia's first Mother's Day in the castle and she gets left out when her mother is spending more time with Amber and James. One of the show's core themes is teaching kids about blended families and Sofia struggling to adjust sharing her mother with her step siblings is very potent.

The Silent Knight - 4/10

Aunt Tilly falls for some NPC knight, when Cedric is right over there. Like show, if you were gonna ship any couple. I want sorceror failhusband and chaotic adventurer wife. Or hell, the drama teacher Miss Elodie for a gay option.

Enchanted Science Fair - 7/10

James, Amber, Vivian, Khaled and Desmond fight each over a science project but they all realise that Sofia is always right and they would all be dead without her.

King For A Day - 6/10

James tries being king to see what its like and yknow, this episode's hilarious to watch in hindsight cos its revealed James isnt even the heir to the throne lol

When You Wish Upon a Well - -4/10

Amber does something incredibly illegal but gets off the hook cos Sofia and their dad are enablers

Gizmo Gwen - 8/10

Aw cool, a castle maid who's also an inventor and engineer! What a wonderful addition to the ca-annnnd she's not gonna appear for the rest of the series, is she?

Sofia the Second - 10/10

Sofia learning about how to keep promises even if it means giving up something else? An evil Sofia clone who's a delightfully evil gremlin? Sign me the fuck up!

Mystic Meadows - 8/10

Sofia's girl scout group goes to a wizard retirement home where Cedric's parents live and she helps Cedric win his dad's approval and stop his micromanaging bs. Also, Hell canonically exists in Sofia the First and that fact alone is both disturbing and hilarious

Princesses to the Rescue! - 9/10

James and his friend Jin get captured by a discount Tai Lung and their dads end up being captured too cos theyre that stupid. So its up to Sofia, Jun and Amber to save the day. Also Mulan is here and its a nice touch they gave her the armour she worn throughout most of her original movie.

Ghostly Gala - 7/10

On Halloween, Sofia befriends the undead and convinces everyone in the castle that they're not seeing things, honest. Seriously, this girl could befriend Eldritch monsters and convince everyone that they're chill.

The Emerald Key - 10/10

A Hawaiian princess has lost a precious heirloom and washes up on the shores of Enchancia, calling for help. Another Hawaiian princess shows up, declaring shes the real deal. The Enchanican royal family immediately decide the best way to tell these two indigenous princesses apart is to get them to partake in white royal etiquette and activities and automatically assume the one doing the best at all of them is the real princess. Sofia realises that the imposter is always the whitewashed one.

Scrambled Pets - 5/10

Pet hijinks: the episode

The Princess Stays in the Picture - 3/10

Man, after Amber became a good person, the writers really doubled down on making her friend Hildegarde the new alpha bitch. Supposedly this was the episode to humanise her but honestly after watching this whole series, she really hasnt improved since this episode so it feels like lightning in a bottle we will never get again. The highlight was definitely Sofia yelling at Hildegarde's constant know it all attitude.

Baileywhoops - 8/10

Finally, Baileywick gets a good episode. I love the idea that Baileywick is such a good steward that EVERY OTHER STEWARD IN EVERY KINGDOM WANTS TO BE HIM OR WANTS HIS JOB. He's like the Alfred of this show.

The Curse of Princess Ivy - 10/10

Amber steals Sofia's amulet out of jealousy, unleashes an evil princess by mistake and now all hell's broken loose. Sofia really rakes Amber over the coals in this special and its glorious. Again, another episode that develops Amber as a character and its great to see the message of earning forgiveness and actually putting the effort in to change, instead of putting pressure on the victim to just enable their abuser's behaviour. Rapunzel's there as well with a banger song.

Winter's Gift - 8/10

Sofia meets a fawn named Autumn, who freezes everything she touchs and she fucking hates it. (Hmm, wonder why Elsa or Anna didnt show up in this ep?) However, Autumn fears the witch who gave her the powers in the first place won't do it cos she hasnt got her a nice enough gift in return. Turns out the witch is super nice, actually.

The Leafsong Festival - -8/10

Clover's dragon friend Crackle gives up her fire powers so she can be in a talent show but she has to get it back or THE ENTIRE KINGDOM WILL FREEZE TO DEATH AND APPARENTLY A SMALL DRAGON CAN MELT A KINGDOM'S SIZED COAT OF ICE.

Substitute Cedric - 10/10

Cedric begrudgingly decides to be substitute at Sofia's school for a day but turns out he really enjoys teaching and helps the kids practice magic on some wizard bullies. Cedric becoming more of a cool uncle is the best. Also, Sofia yelling the phrase "prank day is over!" to the wizard bullies as a war cry is really badass.

Clover Time - 4/10

Clover acts like a shitty roommate to Sofia, which is weird cos I thought Clover already lived with Sofia. Yknow, him being her pet and all.

In a Tizzy - -5/10

Ruby gets her own fairy godmother to help her build a cart and practice for a go-cart race. Thats neat! And yet, this all could've been solved if Ruby's mum was in the episode

A Tale of Two Teams - 6/10

I love how despite being a royal for like a year now, Sofia always chooses her old friends whenever she can. Neat how this is the episode where Jade actually needs glasses as her vision is causing her problems during kickoff. Amber also learns to manage and be a good coach. Man, the writers really put their all into giving Amber little intricacies with her character and James has...knight stuff

The Littlest Princess - 7/10

Sofia befriends a group of freeloading spirites who cause havoc in the castle and has to find a way to convince them to leave since that's the only way to get rid of them. I like how Sofia's flaw of being too trusting to everyone she meets causes trouble and Miranda gets to shine as being the best parent/role model in Sofia's life.

Buttercup Amber - 10/10

For some reason, Amber joins Sofia's girl scout camping trip and unlike the last experience with Baileywick, this one is actually fun. Seriously, Amber brought her entire wardrobe of dresses to camp and the girls inspire her to create a huge tent out of them. Nice to see Amber has changed a lot since Season 1 already.

Carol of the Arrow - -8/10

Ah yes, I love watching Sofia the First talking about anti-royalism, despite being set in a world where the royals are super friendly and interventionalist, there is no classism between the royals and commoners and that colonialisation doesnt exist. And yet we have a non-furry Robin Hood trying to help the common folk and Sofia's standing there like 'oh she's my fave celeb i cant be a royal!! i'll pretend to be a commoner again so i can show her royals can do something' but SHE'S GOT NO REASON TO HIDE HER IDENTITY COS SHE'S A FAMOUS PRINCESS AND ISNT EVEN HIDING HER NAME AND APPARENTLY FEM ROBIN HOOD FINDS OUT ABOUT HER AND REALISES OH HEY MAYBE ROYALS ARENT LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHINGS AFTER ALL. WASNT THERE A SCENE FROM TWO EPISODES AGO WHERE THE ROYAL FAMILY WAS GIVING AWAY FREE GIFTS TO ALL THE PEASANT CHILDREN IN ENCHANCIA. WHERE DID SHE GET THIS PRECONCEPTION FROM? ASPFSCEVRH WHAT IS GOING ON??!

Sidekick Clio - 3/10

Hildegarde acts like an abusive bitch to her friend Clio but instead of Clio leaving her and finding a new group of friends, she forgives Hildegarde after one apology. Oh and before you ask, Hildegarde doesnt retain her lesson from this in later episodes. I feel so sorry for Clio. Especially since she has a lot of fun potential as a side character.

#sofia the first

[sirtadcooper]

I was tagged by: @matbaynton - thank you! <3

Tag someone you want to know AND/OR some of your besties.

This turned into a monster of a thing so I'm sticking it under a cut!

Favourite colour: I am rubbish at this question. I love various colours in various contexts, but at the moment I am really gravitating towards greens. Green is a colour I haven't paid much attention to before, but for some reason over the last few months I have taken an interest in it. I even bought a solid green jumper!

Last song: When Things Explode by Unkle. It's a song I first heard on an episode of Person of Interest and it's now on one of my YouTube music playlists. Takes me right back!

Last movie: I had to check my Letterboxd for this - that's how often I'm watching films at the moment! It was the 1995 version of Persuasion that I rewatched at the end of August. A film I only discovered recently but has become one of those instant comforting favourites.

Currently watching: Oh heck - I'm struggling to keep track, there are so many! I'm watching The English at the moment. Also Outsiders series 2, Taskmaster series 16, New Girl (on season 2), This Farming Life series 6 with my dad on a Sunday morning, All Creatures Great and Small series 4, Fletchers' Family Farm series 2, Schitt's Creek with @phantomviola (on season 5), The Musketeers (series 2) and Black Books (series 3) with @userdjarin and who could forget Our Flag Means Death season 2 which has taken over my brain! Along with all that I squeezed in a Primeval series 2 rewatch which I finished the other night. [slaps roof of my brain] this bad boy can fit so many narratives in it.

Other stuff I watched this year: HAH! I have an IMDb list of TV shows I've watched this year! It's long as heck! Silk, The IT Crowd, Black Sails, The Last of Us, Lost in Space, Endeavour, The Terror, Arrested Development, Community, Vicious, Prehistoric Planet, Why Didn't They Ask Evans?, Ted Lasso, Miranda, The North Water, His Dark Materials, And Then There Were None, Jonathan Strange & Mister Norrell, The Great British Sewing Bee, The Bear, Blackadder, 30 Rock, Chernobyl and The Expanse. And those are just the ones worth mentioning! And some of these I watched four times! Okay, one thing. Okay, it was The Terror.

As for films, it's a poor show this year - I haven't watched as many (see above for reason why). I have seen the latest Spiderverse film and I've love to see Barbie!

Shows I dropped this year/didn’t finish: The Mandalorian (sob!), Vikings (I think I was maybe an episode or two shy of finishing the first season but... man... I just wasn't having fun), My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (to be fair this might have been last year, I can't remember, but I know I stopped a few episodes into season 2), Fleabag (I watched one or two episodes... wasn't quite for me).

Currently reading: Darwin by Adrian J. Desmond and James R. Moore (about 100 pages in but I'm taking this one slow because I'm not hyperfixating on him) and Dead Famous by Greg Jenner which I am taking even slower. I've read quite a few books related to the Franklin Expedition this year (thanks, The Terror) and for a while I was reading pretty solidly but I guess that's what hyperfixation does to you!

Currently listening to: I'm not really listening to music much these days thanks to YouTube's annoying ad blocker pop-up so I'm typing this in silence, haha! But podcast-wise I'm doing great. Three Bean Salad is probably my favourite podcast at the moment. The humour is just too good, and I look forward to hearing the lads every week. I'm also binging The Rest is History which is a bit more serious but still has its fun moments. I'm also listening to Off Menu, No Such Thing as a Fish, The Bones Booth, Taskmaster: The Podcast, The Mariner's Mirror Podcast, and odd episodes of RHLSTP if I know the guest. I save podcasts for when I'm doing something like washing the dishes, walking or driving.

Currently working on: Now that the puppy I found at the end of August is vaccinated, she can go out and about, and that has led to me abandon the polymer clay for a while to return to a hobby that I haven't spent much time on since early 2020 at the latest. I wanted to make her some nice collars and leads so she looks smart for our walks which I will inevitably be photographing. I know it's kind of hard to see but I made this collar and lead for her.

I was a bit worried that I'd forgotten how to sew the leather but thankfully not. I have a few more straps of leather lying around that I'd like to make into collars and leads as well. And several rope leads that need whipping (you wrap thinner twine around the thicker rope to finish it and protect the end from fraying) but I'm having to take my time with those because the twine is murder on my soft, delicate, feminine hands. I can whip maybe four leads before my fingers are red. It's worth the pain!

Current obsession: Our Flag Means Death has taken over my life once again. Whatever happens in the finale next week, I know I will be a mess. Heck, I'm already a mess.

I'm tagging: some recent mutuals so we can get to know each other, but no pressure! @tigerballoons, @woofety, @jackharkness, @jddryder, @ajcrowleys and @skatingthinandice! <3

#matbaynton #tagged #i have a lot of stuff going on now that i see it written down haha #anyway that was fun! i'll try to get a few more things done that i've been tagged in

[teecupangel]

What do you think would happen if Desmond was sent into the show Maria Clara and Ibarra? Just curious

Is… is Maria Clara at Ibarra even available in other countries? I know it isn't available in Netflix Canada :( so it might just be Netflix Philippines exclusive. The episodes are available in youtube though but without English subtitles.

Here’s a trailer with unofficial English subs:

The main plot is Klay (full name Maria Clara), a nursing (working) student with an abusive stepfather, a kind but doormat mother and an uncaring ‘money solves everything’ biological father, gets into an argument about how important Jose Rizal’s Noli Me Tangere would be to her course and her future. Her professor decided that consent is over-rated and Truck-kun’ed her to be isekai’ed into the novel using some kind of magic book version of Noli Me Tangere where she only knows the first three chapters of the book so she’s not a typical OP isekai protagonist.

The Noli storyline gets screwed up by her…… sorta for the better? Sorta… it’s… um… not fully a happy ending but it’s a more bittersweet ending than what the original novels (Noli and El Fili) got, that’s for sure.

It’s quite entertaining and does show the past and current struggles of the Filipinos and the Philippines as well as be entertaining to those who like isekai storylines and… those who sorta kinda remember the required readings of Noli (and El Fili). Also, the set design is sooooo good. They really went out of their way to make every scene feel like they're around 18th-19th Spanish ruled Philippines.

NGL, the Spanish sprinkled here and there reminded me of Assassin's Creed and I can just feel myself going 'where's the subtitles, fucking give me subtitles, Animus! My Spanish is worse than my Pilipino!'

Annnyyywwaaayy.

So for this crossover, Desmond wakes up in some unknown place after using the device to save the world. In this scenario, I think Desmond won’t realize he’s in a novel. Why would he? The only way for him to have read Noli was if he was into like foreign books and such or maybe someone from the Farm was of Filipino descent or maybe even his mother? His mother is a blank slate at this point so she can be whatever we want her to be.

But I think it would be fun if Desmond doesn’t know the novel at all.

So when he meets up with Klay after he got his own ‘backstory’ dealt with (Italian noble vacationing in the Philippines and let us all thank Ezio for knowing Spanish), he only realized Klay is stuck in the ‘past’ as well when she starts saying words that he recognized but know shouldn’t be available at the moment.

For their meeting, it would be fun if he becomes buddy-buddy with Ibarra’s aristocrat friends and be in the same table as Fidel when Ibarra was treating Klay to food. Desmond would be curious about Klay’s lack of ‘manners’ (while he’s doing well because Ezio’s Bleed is saving his ass) but he tries not to say anything because he’s playing a role but he’d been slowly making his own information gathering ‘guild’ on the side because he’s trying to find a way to find Ratonhnhaké:ton’s descendants in the US, that’s his main objective right now, so he had heard of the ‘meztiza de sangle’ that one of the most prominent convents had been looking for so he can put two and two together. It’s only when Klay starts speaking English and telling Ibarra and Fidel off that Desmond realized that there’s something more to Klay than some ‘meztiza de sangle’ as people call her.

So, in this scenario, Klay gets interrupted from her Ibarra stalking because Desmond talked to her in English and asked what university she’s from.

The fact that she’s a woman that’s studying in a university is a big red flag and Desmond says enough words for Klay to realize that he’s not from this time as well.

With English being their main form of communication, Desmond found out that he’s not in the past, he’s stuck in a novel. Klay doesn’t know any Desmond Miles or any Solar Flare but if we consider the following information we do know of Klay: she’s about to graduate in the year 2022 and nursing degrees usually take four years or so she’ll be 21~22 when she graduates. This means she was born in 1999~2000 and would have been 11~12 years old during that time. This would probably make Klay think that she didn’t hear about it because she wasn’t interested in news at that time yet.

So they decide to join forces to try and get out the novel:

This does lead to Klay pushing Desmond to becoming Ibarra’s friend instead and Ibarra is a bit wary of Desmond Sartor (it wasn’t like he could use Auditore as his last name, that would be pointing a huge red arrow at his back for any Templars… did this novel even have Templars???) but Ibarra warms up to him because he can see Desmond is kind to Klay (and maybe let’s her get away with a lot of things but what a master does or does not do to their servant (which is their backstory) is none of his concern)

Desmond doesn’t talk about Abstergo because he doesn’t really liked talking about his past. If he had… he would have learned how Klay has no idea what Abstergo is.

Fidel and Klay still have their own thing. Desmond isn’t touching whatever is happening there with a ten foot pool. Nope. His Eagle Senses are telling him that it would just give him a headache if his appearance causes any misunderstanding.

Let’s be honest, Desmond would take one look of Elias and his people and be like “I can train them” and the whole Elias and revolution subplot would take a very different Assassin Brotherhood-esque turn, that’s for sure.

Desmond’s inclusion to the story does change more than Klay did because of his skills as an Assassin, the knowledge he gained from his Bleeds and his questionable status as an Italian noble.

Sisa gets a happy ending. Fuck it. Give Sisa a happy ending!

Sooooo… you know how Padre Damaso and Padre Salvi got ‘better’ endings in the series? Well, Desmond would make sure they have the best ending in this one. XD

Once Klay returns to the real world after the end of the Noli part, she tries to look for Desmond, thinking he’s returned with her but got transferred to the US or somewhere. When she google-search Desmond’s name, she learns of Desmond Miles from the videogame Assassin’s Creed.

Klay researches about Assassin’s Creed because, what the fuck, and she realized that Desmond is a videogame character that got isekai’ed to the book. So when it was time for her to fuck up El Fili’s plot, she hoped Desmond was also there so she can… uuuhhh… talk to him about his actual real situation? Klay didn’t really think that far ahead, okay, she’s trying to save everyone at this point, damn it.

The Brotherhood in the Philippines is now under Elias and they’re planning something big and Klay meets Desmond a few weeks (months?) later since she first came to the El Fili book because he had been in America looking for Ratonhnhaké:ton’s descendants.

Desmond learns of his ‘real identity’ after Klay tells him plot points Desmond and his team should only know about. But then things… get even weirder.

Because there is a Brotherhood in America. He's met with Ratonhnhaké:ton’s freaking descendants, for fuck's sake. Hell, there’s a Brotherhood in Spain and they're helping out Elias and the others so Desmond is pretty sure that this is his world and not a novel which doesn’t make sense.

For now, they try to focus on helping the ‘characters’ of El Fili get their happy ending.

Then Sir Torres finally appears towards the end and Desmond recognized him immediately. It’s Tinia of the Capitoline Triad.

To be more exact, Sir Torres is Tinia who managed to successful evade the Solar Flare of Desmond’s world by being transported into another world: Klay’s world. Sir Torres’ Noli and El Fili books are actually his experiments in recreating Isu tech in a world where the Isu never existed in the first place. It is based on Jose Rizal’s books but, to recreate it, Sir Torres accidentally created a pocket world of some kind and Desmond was transferred to it for some unknown reason (Tinia’s guess is that Minerva had done it as a last ditch effort to save him and it had randomly plopped him into Tinia’s experimental pocket world).

Desmond’s inclusion to the world where he starts to ask questions about things that were never included in the books destabilized the world so much that it latched into a singularity point that held information that would stabilize it: Desmond himself.

So America? The Brotherhood? The sudden Templar presence in El Fili that had been absent in Noli? That’s the world latching onto Desmond’s genetic memories, developing the world and the characters in it.

In other words, Desmond’s inclusion to the world of Noli and El Fili?

It caused what is called a ‘Crossover Event’ (and Klay would be on the side thinking ‘like a fanfiction???’) and Desmond is the singularity point where everything is centered around (Klay going ‘like he’s the main character???’)

Annnnddd… I have no idea how to end this.

Choices for the Ending:

El Fili ends on a happy-ish note with Klay and Fidel going to Klay’s original world with Desmond going with them. This would have the ‘hopeful’ ending of Desmond and Sir Torres joining forces to find a way back to their actual real world using Desmond’s ‘favored child of the Calculations’ title.

El Fili ends on a happy-ish note with Klay and Fidel going to Klay’s original world and Desmond stays behind because, as Sir Torres explains it, the novel world of Noli/El Fili had become an almost exact replica of Desmond’s world which means that Desmond could make a difference this time, prepare for the inevitable Solar Flare of 2012 and take care of Juno. As Klay stressed, the people of this world are real to them even if they were born from the pages of a book so… Desmond wants to save them if he could. Also, this pocket world would have POEs if it’s a replica of his world and that might help him contact his old world… Sir Torres is doubtful on that part.

El Fili ends in a happy-ish notes and Desmond follows Klay and Fidel to Klay’s world BUT ends up getting isekai’ed to a different world by himself because that's how we show our love XD

If you’re curious about Jose Rizal, here’s the puppet history episode XD

#god this got long #elias gets to be a mentor #because he fucking deserves it! #ibarra is still gonna go all count of montecristo on their asses though #ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #maria clara at ibarra #maria clara infantes #fic idea: assassin's creed #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: maria clara at ibarra #tags i never thought i'd use #noli me tangere #el filibusterismo #i don't know if i should tag the others so i won't XD

[thepeanutlover]

The Stella Race: Mission 5

The group decided to play Truth or Dare...

Becky- Okay Anya, truth or dare? - Becky already knew what Anya was going to choose

Anya- Dare! - Anya got up from her sitting position

Becky- Okay, just let me think of a good one - She scratched her head and began thinking as hard as she could

Emile- Wait! I have a great one, just hear me out - He crawled his way to Becky and whispered something in her ear

Becky- Emile you evil genius.. - Becky got up with a devious smile on her face

Becky- Anya. We dare you to hug Damian - Becky was really happy with the situation. For her, it was the perfect chance to help her friend with her crush

Anya- Okay - But for Anya, it was just a challenge. It was bold of Becky to assume Anya knew what a crush was

Damian* You know what? Screw being a Desmond! Right now i am a hugging dummy, please hug me! *

Ewen- Wait! Wouldn't it be fair for Damian to have a say in the matter? - Ewen got up from the floor

Damian* WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? DON'T YOU DARE RUIN THIS MOMENT FOR ME! *

#damianya #sxf #spy x family #damian desmond #anya forger #sxf damian #sxf anya #fanfic #ao3 link

[fishfingersandscarves]

I would like to personally thank you for dragging me kicking and screaming back to when i was 13 years old and I decided that binge watching all 6 seasons of LOST in the span of a single week was a sane and normal thing for a lonely middle schooler to do.

Anyway i barely fucking remember practically ANYTHING from that show cuz I haven't watched it since then, but if we're talking about heartbreaking Desmond moments, can we talk about how Desmond had to actively watch Charlie drown while simultaneously struggling with the sudden reveal that the boat he had hoped Penny was on not only isn't hers but also belongs to the people who just killed Charlie? :3

Anyway I'm perfectly normal about this show too, what are you talking about.

AUGHHHHH don't get me started... 13 year old me was screaming crying throwing up when I watched that scene for the first time so I am anticipating a similar response when the time comes

The best part of rewatching lost is only remembering bits until something happens and you go OH WAIT YEAH

#like sawyer in a cage <3 #my asks #fishfingersandscarves #all-made-of-stardust

[cogentranting]

My two biggest gripes about Lost season 6:

I would have let Jin and Sun live. I go back and forth because there are some ways that I think their deaths really contribute to the ending that's important. But also they got put through the ringer so badly, and they were separated for years and JIn never even got to meet their daughter. The flash sideways softens the death a lot because they do still get a happy ending and you know that pretty much right away. But I still wouldn't have done that.

I get what they were going for with Sayid's arc but it needed to be done differently. In some ways I think it works because a lot of Sayid's character throughout the show is struggling with whether he's a good person or not. And we see him go back and forth a lot-- he'll be very heroic and kind, but then he'll end up doing terrible things. So that needed to be resolved in the final season and they chose to do that by saying ok, he's backslid before so he can't just do the right thing in the final season, we have to see him really pushed to overcome something. And they did that by having him overcome the Man in Black's influence. I think that works. Except that it is never very clear what exactly that influence is and how it works. And after the destruction of the Temple, Sayid is kind of relegated to the C plot so the important moments with him (namely: sparing Desmond, siding with Jack et al, and sacrificing himself) get overshadowed a little bit keeping the arc from being as effective as it could have been.

(also two minor things: 3. I would have explicitly brought in the idea of Sawyer going back and being a father to his daughter, as a new motivator after the death of Juliet. 4. I would have given more significance to Jack and Claire being siblings.)

#lost abc #lost season 6 #lost spoilers

[ramshackledtrickster]

i cant remember if you've talked about this before, buuuuut

who's your favorite assassin and why? :]

!!! Of this is a tough one!! (Actually not I’m sorry lol my fave is pretty obvious if you know me) I love the big three and desmond but there’s so much I could say about all of em

My absolute favorite is probably Connor/Ratonhnhaké:ton though!

More under the cut!

I think coming off the Ezio games, he had a lot of big shoes to fill, and lord does he fill

It’s nice having an assassin who’s more of an introvert and is kinda reserved and awkward in social situations, and I do relate to him more than the other assassins (not indigenous, but I am biracial and growing up I struggled over my identity and being ‘torn between worlds’ so to speak. I didn’t really feel accepted or even was part of one group or the other, so I kinda felt like I was in my own limbo, and seeing Connor kinda struggle with finding his place in a similar way and kinda ‘sticking out’ no matter where he went or who he associated with kinda hit home.)

Beyond that though, I absolutely love this message of ac3 that he embodies where sometimes, people can’t be fixed, and it isn’t your responsibility anymore at a certain point, and the guilt that comes with it fucking sucks. And that’s okay. There’s always gonna be a voice in your head going ‘what if I did this’ or ‘what if I did that’ to hold onto and try to fight for an ideal ‘could be’ scenario with people in your life. For Connor, it was Haytham, and we all know what happened. That’s another thing I could really relate to within my own life honestly. On my most recent replay of the game (which was a while ago) I actually broke down when I realized a huge part of the game was this message. That you couldn’t fix everyone, no matter how much you try. They have to want to change too, and if they don’t… it’s not your fault. But in the end, taking care of yourself and the people who do care about you and support you is more important. And seeing Connor learn and internalize this and have his support system in the homestead was super meaningful to me.

I also love his motivation and drive and general outlook. Despite everything, he was still keeping his head up and tried to fight for a just world. I think he embodies this idea of hope extremely well, even though he could be blindsided by it at times (as Achilles reminded him, life is not a fairy tale). It’s just,, I love that he still fights for that and uses that hope as a driving force in all he does despite all the odds being against him. It’s more impactful, bittersweet, and effective than nihilism I think.

And of course, I just have a soft spot for him since he’s what got me into assassin’s creed. Great first impression. I absolutely adore his character design and his body language, and ac3’s time period and meshing with history is especially great here, and at the time I was into studying 18th century America and the conflicts of that time, and seeing an indigenous perspective character instead of a colonist was super refreshing. I love his moments of kindness and tenderness in the homestead, and he’s just… a really well done and realized character. I’m so happy that he had a confirmed happy ending with a family (he said himself he wanted a family, but waited for when he could settle down some). I absolutely adored the final end scene where he finally found closure after everything. It’s just,, rewarding and comforting. Seeing someone go through so much and identifying with him, and seeing him turn out alright in the end.

Connor represents hope and recovery in my eyes, and even without my nostalgia painting my perspective, I think he’s my favorite for that reason.

#assassins creed #assassins creed 3 #connor kenway #ratonhnhaké:ton #also he’s hot #I’m sorry but I do not peddle falsehoods #he’s really really hot

[sunsetrules]

okay but how are the people that are so willing to crap on Damian for being the little tsundere stink he is able to take the entirety of their unbridled anger out onto this little man without having the self-awareness to actually sit with the fact that the dude is six years of age????

like, even if we were to set aside the fact that irl most young children have NO grasp on their feelings whatsoever and are only as emotionally mature as they've been taught to be/as their still growing, still developing (emphasis on STILL DEVELOPING!!!) brains will allow them to be... small Desmond is literally trying to work out why his mommy and daddy can't take a minute out of their lives to see him when his classmates' parents can afford to take HOURS, while also simultaneously trying to maintain the facade of the perfect independent self-sufficient son that doesn't need to rely on anyone or anything ever...???? like just????

preschoolers struggle to work through stupid shit like learning to share or dealing with getting their ipad taken away- can you imagine the toll this constant back and forth swing of contradictory emotion (oscillating between his Second Son "Scion" I-Can-Do-No-Wrong exterior and the flawed, imperfect, undeserving son he internalises himself to be in private, alongside having to battle and shame himself for the very legitimate and innate need for comfort, love, and security that a child his age REQUIRES for a healthy upbringing?????) will take over time on a person??

even ADULTS would struggle to juggle all that crap- how do you expect a literal PRESCHOOLER to be able to do so??? in a healthy way that doesn't impact his behaviour and personality and mental health, no less???

trauma fucks people up beyond repair; it eats at you until you are unrecognizable- a hollow shell of your former self... the consistent absence (and by extent, emotional neglect) of both of his parents to this end, is a kindof ongoing trauma that only serves to make what was bad worse.

like i get where people are trying to come from with the "don't excuse his circumstances for his mentality when HE chooses how to act" perspective, and in almost any other case I actually do take this side because yes, while trauma does not make nice people, it is ultimately up to the afflicted to decide whether they want to let this trauma impact them and assume agency over their person for the rest of their lives. however.

VEEEEERY BIG HOWEVER!

in this specific case... this just isn't applicable!!! again, as I've said earlier,,,,, Damian is a preschooler,,,,, he is an intelligent little fucker, that I don't deny, but scientifically speaking, his brain is simply not developed enough to process the complexities of what exactly is going on to him, and how the behaviour of those around him influences his own subconsciously. this isn't just a matter of flipping a switch, of actively making the choice to not let your trauma influence you and act on your own will- he legitimately is not actively conscious of the fact that he "chooses" to act in the way he does; he has no healthy role model to follow, no support system, no one to fall back on should he stumble.

man even Ewen and Emile, who i hesitate to call his friends, act more like his lackeys than they do genuine companions (and although these relationships are probably the healthiest he has at the moment), it ultimately means that in the eventuality he needs someone to confide in, he... doesn't really have anyone. i mean, he has his butler, but does that really count, considering Damian is most likely aware the man is paid to spend time with him (and as much as that shouldn't affect what seems to be a pleasant mutual relationship, it kindof does lol???? like how would you feel realising your only friend is literally forced to hangout with you?????)

i need some of y'all to wake the fuck up- try to picture going through every single day of your life wondering which flaw, which ineptitude; which FAILING of yours shamed your parents into recluse and (practically) had them decide that ZERO contact was the way to go???? WITH THEIR FUCKING SIX YEAR OLD???

bffr. be so fucking fr rn.

#2 am thoughts #genuinely damian's parents absolutely sucks #he deserves so much better #the fact that loid praising him in that one scene was probably the most affection baby desmond has ever gotten is just #so fucking sad #loid please adopt your son in law he cant live like this anymore #this goes for the headpat too actually #damian realizing he actually likes physical touch after parental figure of the year Loid Forger ruffles his hair once is #very canon #and also very sad #ranting #ramblings #sorry for the long post idk what got to me #i hope damian actually gets to heal #and ideally spend more time w anya at least to experience some genuine parental love #loid and yor already love him more than his bio dad pretends to and its heartwrenching #genuinely i hope he can rely on the forgers for emotional support at least the boy needs a support circle #spy x family #sxf #spyxfamily #damian desmond #anya forger #yor forger #loid forger #twiyor #loid x yor #damianya #this turned out WAY longer than i had initially thought it out to be #damian desmond protection squad because boyo deserves the world #character study

[yobotica]

Febuwhump 2023 Day 5: "That's Gonna Scar"

Well folks, I may not be writing much, but I have been doing some writing! Had some good prompts this year, so here's an offering for the day 5 prompt: "That's gonna scar."

Series: Assassin's creed

Characters: Desmond Miles, Shaun Hastings, Rebecca Crane, Lucy Stillman

Coming out of a Bleed was like leaving an ice bath and entering sauna. While under, he had only the vaguest awareness of his own body or its surroundings; everything was blurred and muted, delayed and unreal in a way that even dreams couldn't mimic. It was almost unbearable. But the moment he was no longer 'under', everything rushed into him all at once, sound and light and sensation. It usually hurt.

Rarely, he'd come out of a Bleed completely calm - but this was not one of those occasions. His heart was pounding, his breaths came in gasps, and he was mid-struggle against someone holding him down. He kept fighting, instinctively, until he could make out the words gritted from somewhere behind him. He was face-down on the ground, wrists pinned to the stone next to his head, and the moment he recognized Lucy's voice, he relaxed and laid his burning cheek against the cool stone.

"God, Desmond, are you back yet?" she asked, and he realized she was out of breath too. The strain in his shoulders told him he'd been in this position for a few minutes at least.

He nodded, but didn't speak, and Lucy didn't let him up yet. He didn't mind; he understood, but more importantly, he didn't have the energy to get up in the first place. He let the stone cool him off, and hoped it would take the adrenaline too. Lucy just let him. She was straddling him, both her hands around his wrists, her grip firm but not bruising. With her breaths easing, he could finally hear the soft voices of his other teammates across the room.

Shaun's voice was the first he could make out, "That's the worst one we've seen yet."

Desmond almost laughed. It felt like it - it felt like they were getting worse the longer he spent in the Animus as Ezio, but he wasn't Bleeding Ezio. He was Bleeding a confused and angry Altaïr. His episodes with Ezio were different, almost lucid, really - he saw Ezio most often as a specter outside of himself, but Altaïr was different; he took over Desmond's body completely.

"The longest, too," he heard Rebecca reply. They were speaking softly, but the room they stayed in under Monteriggioni wasn't all that big, and the sound carried easily in the stone chamber.

There were sounds, of cloth moving, Shaun's pained grunts and Rebecca making soft shushing sounds right after. Then, "That's gonna leave a scar," she said, quiet and somber. The comment was met with silence, and Desmond strained to hear if Shaun replied, but if he did, Desmond never heard it. Instead, he heard Rebecca continue. "Ladies love scars, it makes you mysterious," she offered, but even Desmond could tell her cheer was forced.

He could all but see Shaun's arched brow in response, and the thought of it nearly made him smile before it hit him; he did that. He didn't even know where Shaun was hit, what kind of wound it was - he wasn't armed, not generally, and not now.

Altaïr was a Master Assassin, though - deadly even unarmed. He could have stolen something, or…or there were things around the hideout that could be makeshift weapons, no doubt. He couldn't help but tense underneath Lucy, and he felt her hands tighten on his wrists again, felt her shift her weight, but he just closed his eyes tight and shook his head.

"I'm sorry," he breathed, and god, he was, he was so sorry. He couldn't control the Bleeds, they all knew that, but he couldn't reconcile himself as the biggest danger to his own teammates now. Even if things had been close before, he'd never drawn blood, and yet…

Why did it have to be Shaun?

He felt like such an asshole the moment he thought it, but that didn't make it any less true. He, he liked Shaun, more than liked Shaun, and they'd only barely gotten onto what Desmond would call good terms….

And now Shaun would be afraid of him. With good reason.

"I'm sorry," he said, louder. "I'm.. it's me. Desmond. I'm sorry."

He could feel Lucy react, the shift in her weight against him, but there was a long moment between his words and her releasing him. He couldn't even blame her.

Even after she finally stood up, he didn't bother to do more than move his arms so he could bury his face into them. He didn't want to face them right now; he wished he was anywhere but here - almost wished he was anyone but who he was, but the fact that that was the real, actual danger here was all that stopped him.

Lucy let him wallow, but she didn't leave him to rejoin the others. He could feel her eyes on him, and finally took a deep breath and sat up. When he managed to look up at her, he wasn't surprised to see the troubled expression she wore. Anger, pity, determination, they were all there, and others he didn't know her well enough to identify.

He dared to glance over to the right, where he'd heard Rebecca's and Shaun's voices, and Rebecca's pity was much easier to read. Looking at Shaun, he could see it, immediately, the bandage on Shaun's face. It was on his cheek, near his ear, but it wasn't as large as he feared. From the bandage size, the cut itself, whatever it was, looked like it couldn't be more than two inches long, at most.

It would scar, she said. Desmond had been the one to mark Shaun like that, with violence. Even if it hadn't been him, it had been someone wearing his face - it had been his hands that had done the deed.

"Shaun, I'm… I'm sorry," he said, finally, because he had to.

"It's fine, Desmond" Shaun said, tilting his head towards Desmond. His voice held that carefully neutral tone that Desmond heard all too often these days - and hated. "But all things considered, I think I'm going to get some fresh air right now."

When Shaun got up to leave, he skirted around the furthest edges of the room to do so, even though it was a longer walk. Desmond realized, right after he left, that Shaun had not only not met his eyes, he hadn't even been able to bring himself to look at Desmond.

"What now?" he asked.

Lucy shared a look with Rebecca, and sighed. "I don't know," she said. "I'll email the Mentor. We'll figure something out."

Desmond didn't need to know her very well at all to tell she didn't really believe that.

#febuwhump 2023 #febuwhumpday5 #my writing #assassin's creed #desmond miles #shaun hastings #rebecca crane #lucy stillman #it may be late but at least i posted it in february #unbeta'd