I'm just tired, I want to give up
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They torture the hapless, anonymous woman in the bed next to you. The muffled screams and laughter, the subdued creaking of the restraints, full you with dread. This is no medical facility...
"By now you realise that you are not here for treatment. I suggest you sign whatever is put in front of you without too much hesitation... we only want your assets. But, experience tells us that women of your stature rarely just GIVE us everything... hence this demonstration of what we will do to you. But surely you want to experience it first hand..."
The restraints are snug. Only the gag is non-medical. As they fasten it, you tell yourself you will be strong, that you will find a way out of this place before they break you.
As the first of many 'therapy' sessions with the seasoned torturers begins, you feel the first wobble of doubt. They have been practicing this art under the cover of the asylum for a long time, and know their way around a ticklish woman. Over the next few days, your attempts at defiance only amuse them.
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Courage, Anxiety and Despair: Watching the Battle, 1850, by James Sant.
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Odysseus Elytis, tr. by Athan Anagnostopoulos, from Maria Nephele: A Poem in Two Voices; "Hymn to Maria Nephele"
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I re-re-edited this. Now, I feel satisfied with the final product. I give you:
Still Beautiful, Still Dean Winchester.
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My most toxic trait is that I keep redrawing Van Gogh’s saddest paintings as Dean 🫣
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Despair (2007) - Helene Knoop
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— Maggie Nelson, Something Bright, Then Holes
[text ID: I revisited my despair and found myself used to it. No triumph there.]
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de·spair
/dəˈsper/ - noun:
the complete loss or absence of hope.
similar: hopelessness, desperation, distress, anguish, depression, misery, give up, lose heart
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not to make anyone cry but the empty comes only after dean says me too, cas happiness wasn’t the confession it was dean loving him back i’m gonna commit arson
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Jean Joseph Perraud, Despair // Supernatural, Despair
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