#development studies could be interesting but bc of things like this i just hate this so much i never feel like anything i do is ever enough | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

am-cogitoergosum · 1 year

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random poppy war headcannons

• while she was studying for the keju, kesegi asked rin about her new scars. rin would come up with an action packed, overly exaggerated story on how she got each one. they both knew it wasn't true, but kesegi loved listening to the stories and rin loved to tell them, it took her mind off of all the stress she was under.

•ramsa would randomly ask for piggyback rides from basically anyone in the cike that could pick him up

•chaghan used to get bullied as a kid because of his weak build, and qara would protect him every time she saw it happening

•nezha loves the concept of makeup and hair-care. venka is the only person he trusts enough to express this with, and he always asks her about beauty routines. his interest in such "feminine" things is still a huge insecurity for him tho

•kitay is neurodivergent, i don't have so much evidence to back this up, but im sure he is

•kitay and rin often make jokes about kitay being rin's "right hand man"

•get it

•bcs her hand was cut off

•ramsa and baji are banned from sugar consumption for the greater good of everyone around them

•rin has the humor of a twelve year old boy and her time spent with jiang and the cike only encouraged her further

•pipaji dulin and lianhua developed a sibling relationship much like the watterson family in the amazing world of gumball

•altan has an irrational fear of arachnids. idk i just like the idea of him turning into a completely different person when there's a spider around

•rin and altan make jokes about the genocide of speer sometimes

•"rin, istg keep testing me, i will bury you in the ashes of our ancestors."

•"what are you gonna do about it altan? tell your parents? oh, wait."

•"you went there huh? see this is why i hate speerlies, mangy dirtskinned savages, all of them."

•of course, if anyone else joined in on these jokes they would get a memorable (and very painful) reminder that they do not have the right to speak that way

•kitay can waggle his eyebrows in a horrendous manner and he uses this skill to terrorize his friends

•jiang does the same thing with hanelai and the trifecta

•ppl say venka doesn't have a role in the whole trifecta reincarnated thing, but i say her role rlly fits hanelai, she was never as famous, always an outsider no matter how important of a role she played, n just like hanelai she is full of rage at the men who did her wrong

•hanelai would have been an amazing mother

•after rin tested into sinegard, tutor feyrick worked hard to quit his gambling addiction

•in a happier universe kid altan and kid chaghan would have a little treehouse with a big "NO GIRLS ALLOWED" sign on it. sometimes, they'd invite the rest of the cike over to play as well.

•of course, rin and qara are the only exceptions to this "no girls" rule

•baji does a terrifyingly accurate impression of quandale dingle and he uses this ability for the utmost evil

•nezha flirts with himself in the mirror

•vaisra never ate dumplings or anything related to the food after the whole jinzha incident

•in a modern universe jiang would purchase like 300 tiny plastic babies and leave them around the whole school for ppl to find

•rin has a distaste for sex jokes, she always responds with a "don't be disgusting" to every intercourse related joke she hears.

•venka likes giving rin mixed signals, one second she'd be throwing the most wonderful compliments ever created at her, next second she's calling her the ugliest most hotheaded stupid asshole to ever exist

•this leaves rin far too confused to feel flattered or offended

•suni cries when he sees other people cry

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lovincherries · 2 years

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Smut where Austin fucks you so hard you can’t walk correctly the next day on set and someone asks about it to make sure you’re okay in a group of your costars during break you try to lie and say it was your leg day yesterday and then they realize when Austin smirks at you thinking no one was looking at him. But you guys haven’t told anyone you’re dating so it makes for some interesting conversation and definitely some burning hot cheeks. (Title option lol hunka hunka burning love 😂😂😂)

Hunka Hunka Burning Love

a/n: literally LOVE this suggestion lmaoooo the title killed me. I'm back and better than ever y'all. I have a story about Austin with a thicker reader coming out soon, so watch out for it! This is kind of short bc I have sooo much I wanna work on today. I kind of changed it up a little bit, I'm sorry!!

@gvnchhy had the same requests, therefore there are two of these. I’m sorry :((

warnings: rough sex, embarrassment, and just smut. daddy kink.

"Austin," you sighed softly as he pressed his front into your back, his touch was a welcome reprieve from the stress you were feeling. He had hardly been home while filming the Elvis movie, leaving you to tend to the house and your studies all on your own. Truth be told, you hated it more than anything. Austin was your rock. And not to mention, you missed his touch as well, craved it. No matter what you did, it was nothing like the way he would touch you.

"Hey darlin'," he said gruffly in that southern accent he had developed, Lord did he know that it did crazy things to you. His hands wandered to your front, softly caressing your waist. The light touch of his fingertips sent shockwaves down your spine, you craved what he had to give you and he knew it too.

"I missed you," you said. Your voice came out soft and airy, a hint of neediness that only Austin could detect. You could feel the slight smile on his face that was placed in the nape of your neck, causing one to encase your face too. You slightly pressed your ass back into him, needing him closer to you. You only wore his t-shirt and your panties, but the thick layer of his jeans and your clothes was too much to bear.

"Someone is needy today," he hummed into your shoulder, his hands slipping below your t-shirt and resting on your hips. Only inches from where you wanted him.

"Very," you spoke transparently, there was no need to hide how you were feeling. You could skip the small talk with him, there was no need to tease each other. You felt the press of his dick in his pants, the very few words you spoke and the proximity of your bodies affecting him just as much as it affected you.

You turned around to face him, your hands resting on his chest. His lips were spread slightly apart, eyes hazed with something deeper and darker. He looked down at you, your breasts pressing through your shirt. Your nipples were hard, poking through your shirt. They demanded his attention, needed it. His hands were slightly touching you all over, just rubbing any bare skin you had to offer. It was driving you mad. You didn't want barely there touches, you wanted him to fuck you.

His hands were trailing south on your back, leaving anticipation in the wake of his fingertips, you wanted everything. His hands rested on your ass, squeezing harshly, eliciting a gasp from your mouth. It left a smile on his face to see how you reacted. After he relented his harsh grip on your butt, he smacked it, hard.

"Austin," you said impatiently, his name revealing everything you wanted to say to him but couldn't find the words to express how you were feeling.

He leaned down into your neck, kissing slowly up to your jaw to your ear, he licked it slightly, pulling on it. "Is my baby desperate for my dick?" He asked in a demeaning tone, but it only excited you more. You loved it when he got in these moods.

"Yes," you said honestly again, all your emotions shined through your voice. Truth be told, you and Austin hadn't been able to do anything in weeks and you were going crazy. You were both too exhausted by all your other duties, when you got home you both just wanted to cuddle and sleep. Today? Today was the first day Austin had gotten home at a reasonable time, and you were both going to take advantage of it.

His hands were now playing with the thin straps of your underwear, he slightly tugged at it, letting it slap your skin. The sting was noticeable, but your lust for him was clogging all your other senses. You only wanted one thing, and without it you felt so hollow. His fingers were now outlining your panty clad folds, his light touches only making you hungry for him more.

"Already so wet and we haven't done a damn thing," he hummed, attempting to embarrass you, but you felt no shame, "so desperate for what daddy has to give her, huh?" He asked rhetorically, moving his touch away from where you wanted it most. He was in a teasing mood today and you couldn't stand it.

You stood on your tip toes, leaning into his ear now. A fire ignited in your soul, you were mad that he was denying you of something you deserved. "If daddy doesn't give it to me," you paused, drawing him in, licking a stripe up his neck. A shudder moved down his spine at your whispered words and light touches, "I'll find someone else who will."

You knew that would drive him insane, Austin was the jealous type. His eyes darkened almost immediately, feeling threatened by your words. His hands quickly found their way to your throat, squeezing only slightly. "Someone is acting like a little whore," he said roughly, his mean words only formed a pool in your underwear. You loved it when he spoke so meanly to you.

"And when you act like a whore," he paused now, gripping your throat slightly harder, cutting off your oxygen now, "you get treated like one."

He released your throat, small gasps coming from your mouth now, attempting to regain some oxygen. Before you could think, he lifted you up, placing you on your kitchen counters. He tore your panties off, leaving them ripped on the floor. You wined; it was one of your favorite pairs.

"Shut the fuck up," the anger apparent in his voice, Austin despised the insinuation of you being with another man. It was something he feared with him being away so much, and you knew you shouldn't have said it but you couldn't help yourself. He quickly pulled down the sweats he wore, his dick semi hard now. He moved his hands up and down his shaft, making himself harder now.

"Take your shirt off," he said, gasping while he pleased himself, "and don't say a fucking word or I'm shoving your panties down your throat."

You did exactly what he said, you always did. You were left completely bare now too, he threw his shirt off as well. His dick was completely standing to attention now, his tip leaking precum. It only caused your mouth to water in response. You ached for him and everything he had to give you. He roughly pulled you forward, his dick just barely touching your soaked folds. You attempted to kiss him, but he stopped you. That's how you knew he was the angriest he had ever been.

"Only good girls get a kiss, not whores," he said, gripping your jaw harshly. You just nodded your head in response, trying to comply with his wants.

He was now rubbing his dick up and down your folds, coating himself in your slick. "Haven't been home in fucking days and that's the first thing you say to me? Fucking pathetic," he said harshly, you were too distracted by his dick on your folds. His tip brushing against your clit every few moments. You wanted to moan in response, but you knew that would anger him more.

Before you could process anything, he slipped into you. It was a tight fit, you had been empty for weeks. You both gasped out at the stretch, the only moment his domineering facade faded. He bottomed out in you, fast. The pain of him hitting your cervix was subdued from the pure ecstasy of having him inside you. He didn't give you any warning or any time to prepare before he started pounding into you, your body became hazed from the pleasure and the pain. You both released little moans from your mouth like chants of praise, both loving the feeling of having each other so close.

He was going unbelievably fast and hard, creating a pressure in your stomach that you had never felt before. "D-daddy," you couldn't help but moan, your brain could hardly focus on the commands he told you. Your legs went limp, making it harder for him to thrust into you at that pace.

He quickly reacted, throwing both legs over his shoulders, stretching you out and compressing you in every possible way. He went right back to his relentless pace, giving you no time to breathe or think.

"Can't even give me any fucking respect," he spit out, looking down at you with so much love and anger. He went impossibly harder, surely your cervix was going to be bruised at this pace. You tried to crawl away from him, to get some reprieve from the immense pleasure and pain.

He was quick to react, pulling you back closer to him. "Can't take it, huh?" He spoke degradingly, you shook your head no. Tears were brimming at your eyes from the feeling of being so full. He knew if you really wanted to stop, you would have said so. He knew you liked it like this. He shoved two fingers all the way down your throat, forcing you to gag on his fingers as he relentlessly pounded into you.

"That's too bad," he spoke, leaning down into your ear. You could barely hear his words, only being able to feel the pleasure he was giving you. Tears were falling down your face now, your moans muffled by the fingers in his throat. His full weight was on you as he thrusted into you, but all you could feel was his dick in your stomach. Your legs felt the burn of being stretched up to his shoulders, you knew this was going to hurt so bad tomorrow but it felt so good now.

His other hand found your clit, rubbing it. It only pushed you that much farther over the edge, you felt dumbified from everything he was giving you. Drool was coming out from your mouth, your head thrown back and your eyes closed, you could only feel him. You knew he was close too, not being inside of you for so long did that to him. He rubbed your clit harder now, your hips bucking up to meet his now. You were no longer running away from the pleasure but embracing it. His hips were going faster now, stuttering as they hit yours.

"C'mon, come for me baby, milk my cock like the good whore you are," he moaned into your ear, and his words sent you over the edge. Your walls spasmed around him, causing him to moan and to release inside of you. Your wetness gushed around his as he continued to thrust into you throughout your orgasm, filling you up to the brim of all his love that he had been saving for you for weeks. You both couldn't move; he stayed deep inside of you. You were both exhausted from the pleasure.

You stayed for his for what felt like forever, until he picked you up. He was still inside of you as he took you to your shared bedroom, laying both of you in the comfort of your sheets. The last thing you heard him mutter was, "so beautiful," as you closed your eyes.

*******

You were right, it did hurt the next day. So very, very bad.

"Austin, I can't go to work with you today," you told him, standing at your bathroom sink with shaky legs. He could only laugh in response, but that stupid laugh made you want to murder him.

"Ya gotta go babe, you promised," he said cockily, a part of him wanted everyone to know that he did this to you. Your shaky legs was him marking his territory, everyone would look at you and know what happened.

"You did this to me!" You fake yelled at him, blaming him for the pain you were in now.

He ultimately convinced you to go, and when everyone asked you if you were okay or if you pulled something because you couldn't walk, your only response was. "I had a very intense leg day yesterday."

Austin almost always gave it away with that stupid smirk on his face and everyone would know that Austin was the one who put you in this embarrassing situation.

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plutorine · 3 months

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An Analysis of Raskolnikov's Natal Chart Placements (Part 1)

this is in continuation of my post re: raskolnikov's birth chart, as i did say i would make another discussing his major placements. before we begin, here are some things i wanna mention:

under the replies of that post i linked above, i used rostov/rostov-on-don as rodya's birthplace, but as user vintageshits pointed out, there is also textual evidence that suggests rodya hails from zaraysk. i tried using that too, and it more or less gives the same placements that rodya might have if his hometown was rostov.

i am not a professional astrologer, and most of what i have deduced from rodya's chart is merely an accumulation of my own observations/learnings over the past seven years of studying astrology. there will always be different interpretations for each aspect/placement; you are more than welcome to add on to the discussion if you wish to do so in the replies! :^)

also, this is a LONG read. maybe have some snacks / drinks ready XD spoilers about the book too

ARIES RISING, PLUTO in 1H

Gives off commanding, individualistic vibes; Rodya often prefers to be left alone and has grown accustomed to being alone (although I’d say that this is also due to his personality/way of living); he likes to be given his space and he is not above demanding it.

RESTING BITCH FACE!!! Every Aries rising I know has a signature RBF and they can’t hide it even if they tried. Couple this with the fact that Rodya also has Pluto in the 1st house; it’s very easy for him to come off as intimidating and sullen, and may also be critical of how he looks. remember that scene when somebody pointed out his worn out hat in chapter 1 and he started grumbling about it? yep. exactly.

BUT — never forget that what is intimidating may also be weirdly charming in the eyes of others! makes absolute sense why Dostoevsky wrote Rodya to be “exceptionally handsome… with beautiful dark eyes and dark brown (translation is debatable but i’m a dark brown-haired rodya truther) hair”; i had a classmate who was an aries rising and they had the most defined, alluring eyes ever — it was like they could see right through my physical body lol

Another applicable description that matches these placements is the passage: “...there was a sort of haughty pride and reserve about him, as though he were keeping something to himself.”

This one, I think, comes off as more of a result of having an Aries ASC square Saturn and Jupiter: “He seemed to some of his comrades to look down upon them all as children, as though he were superior in development, knowledge, and convictions, as though their interests were beneath him.”

Saturn touching the Ascendant often makes one come off as standoffish, cold, and reserved; people with this (undeveloped) aspect may seem as though they’re “above you” and act like they “know better than you” when really they just have a stick up their ass (this is a self-drag, I have Saturn in my 1st house and I used to act like this). Jupiter contacting the ASC may also have a hand in the passage above, especially the “haughty” part. Rodya acts as if he’s more “enlightened” (Jupiter) than his peers when really… he’s having delusions of grandeur due to not having eaten/drunk anything for days 💀

On a more physical perspective, these two aspects may contribute to Rodya’s “above average” height! Jupiter is the planet of expansion, and Saturn “elongates” what it touches (though, some may also say that having these touch one’s ASC may make them short/stout bc Saturn is also about limitations and Jupiter also “expands”, but ig in Rodya’s case we can interpret them in the former way.)

May be quite restless too; they often come off as agitated or always “on the move”; this was probably one of the reasons why Rodya hated his small room so much — there wasn’t enough space for him to be able to literally move around and draw out all that pent up energy inside him. This can also be explained by his chart ruler (Mars) being in Virgo, which is commonly known for its very nervous Mercurial energy.

His ASC also squares his moon, which I think also adds to the whole jitteriness he has; and his overall moody demeanor. The Capricorn moon in him wants him to suppress his emotional reactions, but his Aries rising wants it to be on display! Not anymore surprised as to why it was so easy for him to threaten Luzhin that he was going to throw him down the stairs LMAO (and more fittingly, because he didn’t want another word about his mother [the Moon, in astrology] coming out of Luzhin’s mouth). He can also be quite sensitive about the topic of his family, though may also be distant when he’s actually with them. There’s a lot of struggle with accepting his needs, as well, and this is also in connection with his Virgo Mars, again.

It makes sense too, that Rodya has a disconnect with his innermost thoughts/emotions and the things he does. Remember, when Razumikhin described him to Pulcheria and Dunya, he said that Rodya “...does not like showing his feelings and would rather do a cruel thing than open his heart freely.”

Also irritable, due to that Martian influence. My previous roommate had this placement; it was really easy to excite her / rile her up, be it for a positive or a negative reason. Acting out of instinct is also a main characteristic of Aries Risings. They always do the first thing that comes to their mind — in Rodya’s case it’s to help people (financially), which he ends up regretting afterwards because he’s already so broke XD — which may or may not always work in their favor.

Maybe it's just an observation on my part, but I find that Aries Risings always have to be the first in everything…? Or at least, they always want to do something that makes them stand out or confirms their suspicion/thoughts about an unknown thing that no one else has dared to do before. Perhaps that explains why Rodya was so hellbent on testing that theory (which he ended up not actually believing LMAO)

Another note on Rodya’s propensity to help others; his chart ruler is also in the 6th house, which is the house of service, routines and health — part of what he frequently does is quite literally go around helping people.

SCORPIO SUN in 8H

Quite possibly the most fitting adjectives in the book that can sum up Rodya are “...morose, gloomy, proud and haughty”; “suspicious and fanciful”; and “...fearfully reserved” (thank you, Razumikhin). These words capture what Plutonic energy is, in some of its rawest forms.

Being a Scorpio Sun myself (though I have mine in the 5th house), Rodya mirrors a lot of who I was when I was younger: heavily secretive, paranoid(as in, always feeling like everyone is out to get them); prideful and conceited at times. Rodya knows he’s intelligent, that’s why he can’t help but feel as though he’s the smartest in the room, but his propensity to detach and isolate himself from others renders him unable to realize how he and his ideas relate to others, and this leaves his identity and worldviews/perspectives unchecked. He’s just stuck in his own little world; inside his echo chamber where he repeats his ideologies to himself over and over again, convincing himself that he’s “enlightened” above others. All that talk about wanting to prove whether he was a trembling creature or if he “had the right” ties in with this.

The catch is, this makes him so terribly lonely. Part of what I have learned from astrology is that the house opposite where one’s Sun is the area of our life which we have to learn to “exist in”. For me, this was the 11th house. My methods of self-expression were always just limited to the purpose of “putting on a show” (5th house) for others, but as I grew older, I learned how to use my talents for more humanitarian causes (11th house). Going back to Rodya, his manner of experiencing life (Sun) is stuck behind the private screens of the 8H, which hides it away from the grounding reality of the 2H, ruled by Taurus. Another way to look at this 2H-8H juxtaposition is that Rodya's ego is on some obscure, nonphysical place (8H) instead of being grounded in real life (2H). He lives only for his mind, and forgoes his physical state. Well, we all know how he wouldn't eat for days and that his sleeping habit is shit. Dude's probably rank too. Oh Rodya.

I guess the best and most redeeming quality of Rodya being a Scorpio Sun is his capacity for rebirth and transformation. We get a glimpse of the initial stages of this while he’s serving his sentence in Siberia. His old self slowly begins a path of renewal towards his transformation into this “new self” that will have shed all what used to be who he was when he was twenty-three.

Sun Sextile Saturn: This reinforces even more that super serious and uptight nature of his (to a degree that is almost comical, like bro would it kill you if you stopped taking yourself so seriously??) Sun aspecting Saturn also denotes heavy responsibility as a young child, or having thrust into the role of a parent at an early age. We aren’t exactly given an age for Rodya when Roman Raskolnikov died, but we can assume that it happened pretty early. This heavy responsibility to fill in his father’s shoes is one of the reasons why Rodya feels so, so burdened by the fact that he’s not going anywhere with his education in St. Petersburg, knowing that Pulcheria and Dunya are also counting on him to get a job so he could support them, being the remaining man in the family; this may also be another reason why his pride couldn’t take it when he learned Dunya was getting married to a rich asshole like Luzhin, so she could contribute significantly to the family — he should be doing that, not his younger sister.

Sun Square Neptune: Did somebody say LIGHTWEIGHT? One of the possible interpretations of this placement is a heightened sensitivity to alcohol and other substances. I fucking cackled when I saw this aspect (I, unfortunately, have this as well), and it brings me back to that scene in Part 1 Chapter 5 where Rodya was absolutely zonked out because he drank a “wineglassful” of vodka 😭 On a more serious note, this placement also points to an absent father figure, or at least having experienced the loss of a father. The person’s sense of self also tends to fluctuate. Ever wondered why Rodya is so prone to switching between his god complex and crippling depression? This is one of the reasons why.

Little astro tidbit about having 8th house placements: these natives are often the types who’ll just randomly have people involve them or tell them about the wildest shit in their lives, like unprovoked. For example, they’d be just chilling then suddenly a random ass stranger or somebody they don’t really know well starts telling them about their personal business. This was the same thing that happened to Rodya when Marmeladov suddenly approached him in the tavern and started narrating his life story to him 😭 and the entire time Rodya just,,, took it all in XD

CAPRICORN MOON in 10H

Just when we thought Rodya could not be more service-oriented (that is, when he’s not busy being an asshole), he’s also given a Capricorn moon to top it all off! Most Cap moons I know go out of their way to make sure the ones they care for are alright; they spend much time and effort on that sort of thing. Will they let you take care of them though? No LOL they’d rather be caught dead in a ditch than admit that they want to be taken care of

All that pushback Razumikhin got when he helped Rodya out makes so much more sense. Rodya could not fathom why Razumikhin would himself go out of his way to learn about his trifles despite the fact that they don’t really talk much (like,, Rodya doesn’t even say ‘hi’ to him at all out in the street) and aren’t close; although, Rodya is aware that Razumikhin is kind, and he even tells him this when he dropped by his place

When a Cap moon does care, they will put others’ needs first and foremost, esp if they can see that the person really needs help and is in a more dire situation than they are. Not above setting themselves back just so they could help.

Another one of those moon signs who come off as really serious, cold, and calculating; but they’re really softies (and drama queens) deep down, especially when they have water placements. Might also like to keep themselves busy with other things so they won’t have to experience an Emotion™️. I always like to say that Capricorns are just Scorpios in suits lol

I also noticed that with Moon in 10H, it can indicate a tendency of your parents to baby you?? idk but i definitely feel those vibes from Rodya and Pulcheria, esp when she first sees him, his room ("this isn't a room, this is a coffin"), and when he visits her for the last time. or maybe this manifests even as becoming "softer" when you're with your parents?? there's something so sadly endearing abt how Rodya talks in this scene:

"Here you are!" she began, faltering with joy. "Don't be angry with me, Rodya, for welcoming you so foolishly with tears. [...] Sit down dear boy, you must be tired; I see you are. Ah, how muddy you are." "I was in the rain yesterday, mother..." Raskolnikov began.

They might also have a thing for needing something to hold onto when they’re feeling upset/unwell? Capricorn’s cardinal energy mixed with a fixed Scorpio sun further points to being “twitchy” bc they can’t sit still (all that Mars influence,,) — cue “where’s my sock!! give me my sock!!!”

Another placement that points to Rodya's want of gaining some sort of "power" or "control" — and he has the capacity to do so, too (how he goes about obtaining it though, is another conversation). He can be (could have been) really successful if he wills himself to. Moon in 10H natives have this air to them of being well-established in whatever field they choose to dedicate their efforts in.

Feels emotions really deeply when they do allow themselves to (or when faced with the inevitable fate of experiencing them lol). I find that Saturnians are also kind of like Plutonians when it comes to feelings. When they invest in an emotion, you best believe they will feel it to its fullest; which is why I believe that underneath Rodya’s prideful and cold exterior is a heart that is capable of feeling love in the deepest, most profound way. What he said in Part 6 Chapter 7: “But why are they so fond of me if I don’t deserve it? Oh, if only I were alone and no one loved me, and I too had never loved anyone! Nothing of all this would have happened.” (Constance Garnett translation) — really broke my heart knowing Rodya fought against the desire to jump into the Neva because he knew he was loved despite his wrongdoings and all his rough edges; this consciousness was very strong that he felt regretful about being so loved by the people around him. He’s so,, :^(((( I just want to give him a hug :^(( he’ll probably cuss me out but whatever :<

Pig-headed, and will not stop until they get to do what they want to do. My partner is a Capricorn sun and it’s more or less the same — the moment Capricorns set their mind on something, they will see to it that they get it done, no matter what. Pair that with a really driven Aries rising and a Scorpio sun, and you have an unstoppable force.

Moon Conjunct Jupiter: drama queen placement wbk; i made a post about how i always associate Rodya draping himself over his couch like a D*sney princess would XD we just feel emotions deeply and we tend to get pretty extra about expressing it too, esp in front of people we trust,, or idk anyone who's willing to listen really. Though in Rodya's case, his Moon is also conjunct his Saturn, which means he limits his expression of emotions; or that he hides it from others — bro would rather choke than be direct with what he actually feels

Moon Square Pluto: another limiting aspect on his expression of emotions, though this aspect gives his capability to feel more depth and dimension. so when Rodya gets into his feelings, he really plunges into it. at the same time, the obscure yet volatile energy of Pluto also adds another layer to his Aries rising's impulsivity. Additionally, his Moon coming into contact with his Pluto in a square may also indicate pain that stems from the family / the mother. all that this placement reminds me of is that last conversation he had with Pulcheria. the most gut-wrenching shit i've ever read/watched.

WHEW. That's only like half of his big 6 placements. I'm currently working on the others (Mercury, Venus, Mars), but I might not be able to finish/get the post up any time soon because I'll be starting the last semester of my undergrad next week, and I'll no doubt be very busy again 😔

#rin's stuff: astrology #crime and punishment #rodion romanovich raskolnikov #fyodor dostoevsky #russian literature #classic literature #astrology #natal chart #birth chart #scorpio sun #capricorn moon #aries rising #pluto 1st house #sun in 8th house

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saintforan · 3 days

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I’m genuinely curious what the other critters roles are in the holders au (especially who the Chloe or Lila might be).

alr this ones simple, imma list all of the (rest of the) critters and give them a role based in both in the og MLB series and the Holders AU

just to make it clear, all of the relatioships im talking about here take place before catnap joins the same hs as dogday, eventually they all (Except bubba) become friends between them

Craftycorn: Along with dogday shes an exchange student as well, but attends to a different HS, she's dogdays roomate and both get along very well, eventually from living together they become good friends. Crafty's role on this au would be Alya's on MLB, but without the ladyblog lol, on this universe crafty like alya is interested in the heroes that suddenly popped out of nowhere, and starts investigating about them out of curiosity, eventually she gets very invested in them and starts taking part of a magazine to talk about them both. She's gonna be the first to find out their identities too, she eventually connects the dots and guesses, but doesn't tell anyone

Kickin: He's childhood friends with dogday, but here they met online before dogday decided to move and study on the same country as him, They don't belong to the same HS neither, he goes to the same one as crafty and they become friends there. His role here would be Nino's on MLB, as he would become very close to catnap eventually (catnap got his second best friend yippeee), and also would end up dating crafty lol (kickincorn enthusiast)

Bobby: Bobby is childhood friends with hoppy, and she takes on luka's role on MLB as the good listener and good advice giver to dogday (no romance between them here) Her and Dogday don't exactly have a band, but them both enjoy playing music together (dd plays guitar, bobby plays bass and guitar too + she likes to sing) which made them close. They met bc of Kickin as him, bobby and hoppy were in the same elementary school and kept being good friends ever since.

Hoppy: Childhood friends with Bobby, doesnt take on any particular character's role, she was on a volleyball club with kickin on elementary school and they met there, she also works at the same bakery as dogday mostly to help piggy's family out and get paid for hanging out with friends LOL

(as a psa, theres feelings between the bear and the rabbit, they are GAY, but their relationship develops later on)

Piggy: You could say she in some way takes marinette's role here? but this marinette would not be ladybug here LOL, i stated before that dogday works part-time on a bakery, well piggy is the daughter of said bakery's owner, and she also attends the same hs as dogday and catnap, she became friends with dogday from him working there and going to the same hs as him, shes also best friends with bobby and hoppy and hang out tgt often as a trio

Bubba: This man takes on both lila and kagami's role here, but both would be against caatnap here. As i said before, prototypes an engeneer who owns a company, said company has a partnership with another one, and this company ceo's has a son, Bubba is that ceo's son, so he and catnap had met on multiple ocasions but dont get along that well (they hate each other's guts), as bubba's mindset is like prototype's and catnap is not that fond of his father lmao. When catnap gets sent to socialize, prototype asks his ceo pal to send his son and watch him so he doesn't slip away from his duties. His job is basically to keep catnap from getting away from his father lol, and so he makes his life difficult to achieve that.

the closest thing to a chloe here would be bubba? but they behave very differently so he reminds me more of lila, so i could say theres no chloe here at all, personally chloe's character is very non important to the series, her only role is to be the mean girl and maybe help akumatize some ppl, but overall the only good part about her was her redemption lol, but then they threw that away soo, nothing much to say abt her, i don't find having a Chloe here necessary at all

#Holders au

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sadisthetic · 4 months

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end of the year fic asks! give us a behind-the-scenes look at "for want (for nothing)"; why did you include a scene, when and where did you figure out that one tricky sentence, which part wrote itself, things like that!

thats a fucking thing? well lucky for YOU i LOVE talking about my own writing and that fic DEFINITELY has quite a few "bts" things i could talk about lmao

first thing to start off with is that i actually rewatched and studied that corruption scene in canon quite a bit while i wrote this. i needed the refresher and Man did i realize i forgotten a bunch of major plot points (most of which werent actually relevant to the fic) lol. but anyways the structure of my fic is pretty strongly based on its canon counterpart and theres a lot of little things i took inspiration from and just injected more flavor to it. like kai uses lightning a lot??? which make sense production wise bc thats like. probably easiest element to show off and make it look cool. so yay! excuse to use my jay bias and favor using his powers lol

in general that fic was a means for me to write a character study for kais character which i love a lot. he is my second fav blorbo. i have a huge weakness for older siblings in media. and kais shift in character is so interesting even if it was never done with conscious intention. ninjago Definitely uses every single one of their characters as pawns to advance the plot of whatever rather than you know. treating them like characters who are people. so theyre inconsistent with or contradicting themselves. characters are used however the writers seem fit with the situation at hand. i think the corruption scene is a fair example of it. kai was over it right? the whole green ninja thing? and yet. anyways my fic was an attempt at reframing and adding context and depth to kais character bc man did think about these fucking legos a lot for some goddamn reason when its a bad show!!! maybe some of yall will hate me for saying it. but man. ninjago sucks more often or not. not Entirely BUT A LOT OF IT IS NOT OF THE HIGHEST QUALITY.

and that sorta gives me an awkward segue into lloyd. haha. you know the line "A brat who had everything handed to him by destiny. It wasn’t because he deserved it. It was simply because he was born special."? well. it makes sense in the context of the fic that kai feels this way bc thats the natural conclusion the fic flowed into. But Also. i wont lie. that is my own genuine thoughts about lloyds development as a character. lloyds writing fucking BLOOOOOWSSS. and none of it is his fault. its the writers fault. but MAN its the LAZIEST DESTINED HERO/LEADERSHIP CHARACTER ARC I EVER SEEN. IT COULDVE BEEN INTERESTING. but no it was too simple too forced too Cheap. too shallow. its like they picked his little minifig and decided he Must be the prophesied hero no matter what :) and they forced his little lego feets into the studs of Destiny above everyone else and made it happen in the easiest way possible. by simply declaring it. forcing him into the role unnaturally. and because hes the Chosen One that means hes very very very important right? so NATURALLY hes the leader also! HELLO HES A FUCKING BABY??? NO SENIORITY?? any leadership skills he gained is because he was Forced to develop them, not because hes a natural leader. i could talk shit about his treatment all day but all in all i hate the flagrant favoritism the show gives lloyd when its meant to be a show with a team dynamic. i dont hate lloyd but i sure do hate the way his character "developed". this fucking baby was fed too many rare candies and some evolutionary stone on top of it. hes not the best he could be as a character because none of it naturally happened. no care put into developing his characters. i could accept lloyd being the green ninja or being a leader. if it were written well at least. ANYWAYS. kai is a subtle projection of me. or closer, a messenger. he was corrupted by me in way considering i was the writer lol. but it works because theres a bit of truth in there isnt there?

also that fic also happen bc i wanted to writer fun elemental power stuff along with fucked corruption. i love fantasy power things. and i LOVE rancid rotting feelings

#i dont think you couldve anticipated such an answer from me but lol i hope this doesnt make anyone too mad #i hope it gives interesting insight into that fic lol #asks #anonymous #ninjago talk

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pansyfemme · 8 months

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your art inspires me so much, i adore your use of color and texture and composition. i love love making art, getting drawn into a piece and layering and highlights and shadows and and and. but, i struggle quite deeply with subject matter, i feel, donno, like i don't think about the world in that way? everytime i see your art it evokes this visceral need to create but i just end up staring at a blank page. I admire so much art from afar but when I try I feel so overwhelmed with how to just, make the inspiration i get into art? i struggle with this in writing too, ideas are so few and far between and generally tend to be very vauge, like a smell or a color combination, or a collection of words. i dont know how to devolp it or explore it really. I did art in high school, and a year of architecture, and im struggling so much without having a brief to launch off of. feel free to ignore this if its too personal or familiar, but do you have any suggestions for me?

first of all, thank you so much!! and you sound like someone who has a deep interest in the process itself, which is super adrimable! i run into a lot of people who are more concerned with the output than the process and so they lack experimentation, so being process focused can lead to a lot of great possiblity!

As for ideas, it sounds silly when the idea is to generate insporation organically, but drawing from life and photos more was one of the steps to me being able to generate organically. i was for years, one of those ppl who draw a detailed character standing hands by side on a blank background. Learning more about how the figure moves from studying it was the 1# way to be able to organically draw poses the way i do. It’s hard to be like ‘use references!’ when finding refs is a whole other thing but sites like line of action have helped a lot bc i dont even have much choice in the ref lol!! My subject matter is based a lot on personal experience, i’m someone who has struggled with personal connection my whole life, i’m both autistic and have a case of social anxiety so severe i ended up permentantly stunting my development as a child bc i refused to interact with kids my age (oops) so a lot of my work about personal connection between trans and disabled people comes from a desire for close relationships with people who possess the same traits that made me feel undesirable for so long. I can’t also, tell you to generate a list of things about you and put those into your work because not everyone’s work is that personal and it’s not really something that can be forced, everytime a teacher told me to play into my other traumas i ended up hating the peice. i will say though, having a philosophy towards your work can do a lot. Journaling and writing down ideas, problems and aspirations as well as your attitude behind your work can sometimes help roadblocks. I also reccomend building up the process of making thumbnails and doodles and trying to generate ideas in very rough concept sketches rather than expecting to immediatly know what to do with a blank page. It adds more time and can also be frustrating, but it helps break down the blank page anxiety if you have a scrap sheet to try things out on before you go onto your final paper. another thing that helped my process is just always having a sketchbook and pencil on me. I don’t have to use it, but having my supplies with me often helps me be able to do quick sketches when im at coffee shops, doctors waiting rooms.. etc. It helps me be able to get any momentary inspiration down to work with later. the reality with rough Sketches is they do not need to be readable by anyone but yourself. it’s not just that they don’t have to look good, they could be three lines and a few notes if that’s what you need to be able to translate the vision to your head. A lot of my peices come from just wanting to draw certain perspectives or settings, and my sketches can be quite literally a grid sometimes. Again, this probably seems quite overwhelming. if your problem is generating ideas its tough to here ‘just draw!’ but it does help to build up a habit of sketching (even just circles and lines) and notetaking because it can help get the ideas flowing.

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digital-chance · 9 months

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steve rogers - a brief (nonsensical) character study/analysis

so i rewatched all the mcu movies with steve roger in them using this lovely youtube video. spoilers for the entire things! consider this your warning.

here's my takeaways in no particular order:

he still wears the same clothing style he wore pre-ice. often button ups, work boots, plain denim jeans, sometimes a leather jacket (often brown). later on in the mcu he started wearing plaid flannels which is funny to me because he does not give a SHIT about modern fashion. give him his old man clothes please and ty. adorable.

marvel did not give the man much character development. they said he's going to go through war and hell and death and fuckery of emotions. sure he's going to learn how to move on but that's off screen and don't really expect much change fuckers. this fucking pisses me off if you can't tell. he's such a long-time character with so many areas where he could be developed and marvel just said fuck that he's an "old man and a soldier with some funny moments" and that's all you're getting.

also he had 5 minutes MAX of screentime in infinity wars :(((( fucking hate that give my man justice

he's so funny????? and so fucking sassy???? like how did I not know this???? love the guy

he broods a ton when he's sad and cracks jokes to cheer others up when they're sad. very sweet but I feel like that marvel could have expanded on this in some way.

he's also very acrobatic which is somehow surprising to me but also at the same time it makes sense??? idk man but you do your flips bbg

also love the way they planned his fights. they really use his full body. reminds me of old greek and roman statues with the flexing muscles. (those are my favorites statues if you can't tell) it's satisfying to watch and I want to draw it or make a statue of him now tyvm.

in endgame tony started talking about his ass which sparked an entertaining side tangent. like you really didn't need to???? but I'll take it. i forgot that steve called HIS OWN ass the "ass of America." I was in and still am in shock from this whole situation.

when he met his other self (or smth I don't remember) in endgame one of the last things he said to other steve was "bucky is alive" (see points below). interesting how seeing the compass with peggy didn't phase other steve much.... also that fight is fucking ridiculous 1000/10

he says so much romantic/gay shit about bucky??? like "even when I had nothing I had bucky." very angsty and homoerotic I love it

the ending with peggy and him being old is plotted so shittily. literal garbage. i wouldn't have minded him being with peggy at all (love her sm btw don't mistake this for me hating her) if they had done it right and given cap a plausible reason and justification for him staying. sure, he misses her. sure, visiting her. but wouldn't staying with her fuck up everything??? literally everything????? like the avengers wouldn't exist everything????????? FUCK that ending.

not exactly fully cap/steve but chris evan's shoulder to waist ratio is absolutely delectable. love that they highlight that with the suits designs.

also what the fuck was infinity wars when he had a fucking beard and longer hair??? loved it but it kind of came out of left field. plus he looked a little silly fighting with the long hair bc it kept getting in his face. you would've thought that he would wear a helmet during that fight but Not Today ig...

last point I promise. but the romance with sharon carter (i forgot her name but i think that's it) was GROSS. whats her face is peggy's GRANDDAUGHTER. so now that he's too old for peggy he had to go for her granddaughter?????? YUCK. especially so because he went to peggy ANYWAYS in the mcu. to the comic writers and marvel: stop. that's fucking gross and quite honestly unneeded.

kind of a serious man with some unexpected twists, like the humor. and that was just the MOVIES. fucking hate some parts of the comics. (why are there so many universes ughhhhh) love steve though what an interesting fellow. might add on more thoughts later if i remember/want to.

#thoughts #steve rogers #mcu #fuck the mcu #captain america #the first avenger #ysbwm research #character analysis #character study #very homoerotic

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therhythmafterthesummer · 10 months

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Hi darling 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻. I know this is off topic

If i remember correctly you said English isn't your mother tongue, could you tell us how you learned to write in such a wonderful English? It's really impressive how wide your vocabulary is and the way you convey your characters emotions.

I promise this is my last request for today, can I be 🌑 anon?

Hope you have a nice day 😚

i love this question, btw 🥺 i like talking about this.

the answer is kinda long, so i'll leave it under a cut, but the tl;dr is that english was the only way i could enjoy my special interests, so my autistic ass just... learnt it to indulge in these things. it all led me to reading and writing a lot in the language, which was how i started developing my own creative writing skills.

i always say English was my first love, which is kinda funny considering i used to hate English as a subject in school (bc i couldn't understand it when i was like... 9 years old. it was taught to us as a 'foreign language', but the level of education wasn't exactly.... good. i could barely count to twenty and i knew some colours, that's about it lol).

anyway, when i was around 14 years old i got really into harry potter*. we're talking obsessive levels of being into it... and very quickly i realised that the best spaces online surrounding the series were in english. i ended up joining tumblr back in 2010, when the only available language to use it was english. got really into doctor who and bbc merlin, as well as british youtubers (charlieissocoollike, my beloved...) and i just overall started consuming a lot of media in english. i eventually started reading books in english (percy jackson, the hunger games...), also fanfiction in english, and at some point i just... realised i could understand what i was watching/reading very well.

it was sort of a natural progression, tbh. when i was 17 i was fairly proficient (not fully, i still made basic grammar mistakes, but i think it was understandable for someone that wasn't learning through formal education). i ended up going to uni to study to become a translator (i dropped out lol but that's a story for another day, if you wanna hear it), and my english just got better there when i started to actually study grammar.

by 21 i'd say i was fully fluent... and now i'm here.

when it comes to actual creative writing, reading is what got me the vocabulary i have (which could be way better, i'm sure), and actually sitting down and writing was what got me to where i am right now with my writing. it's a practiced skill, pretty much.

thank you for this question, it got me remembering nice things about my past that make me happy and i often forget about💜

*(for transparency, i'm not into harry potter anymore. i can't stand jkr and her terf-ass, so the series is completely tainted for me. i can't consume anything HP related these days, because all i can think about is how it was written by such a hateful, disgusting person. it triggers only negative emotions in me these days, which is really, really sad tbh)

#🌑 anon #ask

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charmixpower · 2 years

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Question: what would be Winx's and Specialists' favorite sports?

Why would you ask me about sports ball? I don't know shit about sports ball

Bloom probably doesn't have one for a while until she learns about the dragon version of equestrian, and later after she gets a horse equestrian itself. She's likely into most magical sports, because Bloom is always in awe of magic, but I think it would be more of a novelty thing. While her interest in controlling dragons would be longer term because it would help her understand her powers better. Later on as she finally gets a grip on her dragon based powers better she drifts off to a magic user based sport

Stella would say she doesn't know shit about sports, and she's wrong because she keeps forgetting that magical combat (magic user martial arts) is a sport. Actually used to compete in magical combat tournaments when she was younger at her school because her magic teachers thought it would be good for her already insane magic development and skill. It was. This is how she got into Alfea despite her shit grades and record, and later why she got back in despite the lab explosion. Girl is a prodigy at Incursion magic. Doesn't follow it closely, bc she has clothes to worry about, but if your plopped her down in front of a match she could rattle off details about what's going on

Flora doesn't have one. Her hobbies include being locked in a green house breeding flowers to make a new attack, and stopping every several hours to make sure not one's having a crisis while she's gone. With some days dedicated to going into treacherous areas, with minimal supplies to avoid disturbing nature, and studying in the field. She'd find mountaineering interesting but she's not a sports person

Tecna has a stock art of her doing archery, so can I say archery? Jk Tecna would never do a sport in her life. She does think Karate is super cool tho. Seen by her doing martial arts moves that she never proves that she actually knows how to use in her transformation sequences. If eSports is counted then yes, of course, and she dominates

Musa's is magical sprinting? Like imagine track but for faries. It's just like that but instead of running it's flying—wait. Oh my god. I just learned break dancing is apparently a sport??? In the Olympics?? Did not know that. So I take it back, break dancing is her favorite sport

Aisha's is surfing. I don't need to explain this one lol. Sure she likes swimming, but swimming is just a thing you do on Andros. Surfing is something she can show off with. In s3 it's shown she's also into hoverbike tricks, in s2 she steals Timmy's waterbike, and she's definitely into those too. Oh and sport climbing, and dance for good measure. Everyday I wonder how she managed to learn all this with over protective and hyper strict parents and a Nanny breathing down her neck constantly thoughout childhood

Sky I honestly think would most be into dragon controlling, equestrian but dragon, over anything else. Not that he doesn't like sword play, it just seems like he's not super interested in it a lot of the time tbh. Seeing how well trained Lady seems to be, I think thems are just the vibes. Dude likes working, training, commanding animals. Riven makes an annoying amount of dragon based innuendos at Sky and Bloom, and Sky is this close to strangling him for it

Brandon's could easily be a lot of things. Like, remember how when Sky was complaining about something in I think s2 he was just like??? Flipping around and shit??? Gymnastics. Weight lifting also sounds like something he'd be interested in, vibes. Can't explain. Those two feel like the sports he'd be most interested in. Either way his down stairs neighbor fucking hates him

Timmy's is shooting. Just, shooting. He thinks it's cool, he likes it. He needed to be stopped from building his own baster from school property during his first year because that's illegal and dangerous. It's one of the few things he's truly confident in, though early on he has bad performance anxiety so stuggles to show his skills. I don't think Timmy would play games competitively like Tecna, so he plays the games that are in eSports but doesn't do the sport part lol

Helia's is probably his hand string things. I mean each of the weapons is it's own discipline, and that's a sport right?? Helia's hand things likely require a lot of technical skill and finesse, and as an artist I imagine he quite values those two things. I can definitely see him as a child spending days upon days learning tricks with the gloves before he even knew what he wanted to be when he grew up simply because they're just fun for him to play with. Coincidentally this is the reason why he could just transfer into red Fountain without being behind on weapons. He was still practicing with his gloves in art school. Can anyone else see Helia using his gloves to make string art????

Riven, my idiot. What about you. Either sword play or racing. Due to the fact that Riven never got any help or training before RF and is still really fucking good, enough to be just below the two people who likely got the best training Eraklyon could offer, he probably fucking loves sword play and is a natural at it. It's definitely a big passion of his I'd imagine. Racing because have you seen the bastard on his windrider?? He so clearly thinks racing is cool, and does not care that he's being a fucking dumbass about safety. I think if windrider jousting was a thing he'd completely lose his shit in excitement and happiness

Nabu, because I can't just not include Nabu. The type of magical combat Stella is into is more like MMA, or a martial art that your likely to get hurt while in competition, while the magical combat Nabu is more into would be kinda like grappling or fencing. There no like, actually attacking the other side. It's more a test of magical technique and skill, compared to actually being combat practical. This is the form of magic practice Nabu mostly did growing up. Being thrown into the most dangerous friend group in the magic dimension required a bit (read: a lot) of adjustment on the side of his technique, but he still has a lot of fondness for the form

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aromanticannibal · 1 year

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AU where Izuku listened to All Might and found another way he could help people because uwu.

He goes home to his mom bawling his eyes out and being like mom I can't be a hero and Inko's immediately like. wtf happened. My child may be an idiot but he's also the physical incarnation of hope how is he Not Hoping rn.

Izuku tells her what happened and she goes mmh. She's unsure if she should hate All Might for his lack of tact or if she should be happy he made her son reconsider his decision

(I'm going off memory but as far as I'm aware here Inko doesn't want Izuku to be a hero, not because she thinks he's not worthy or bc she's a terrible mother she's just scared of him getting hurt.)

Izuku asks her what he should do now and she goes hey baby you're smart. You know a lot about heroes and quirks. You can find a way to help heroes and people with that

Small timeskip, Izuku studies engineering and shit, Hatsume Mei stuff, and starts remaking all of his journals to reorganize them and add more things. He's overworking himself to forget about how sad and angry at everything he is that he can't be hero at first, but he realizes that he truly loves analyzing even if it's not in the goal to become a hero.

Katsuki notices the shift in Izuku's behavior, but doesn't say anything. Now that Izuku became more discreet and stopped talking about being a hero, Katsuki's bullying calmed down - it's not perfect, and others are still being assholes, but y'know. Small victories

Izuku applies to UA in the support course. He becomes friends with Hatsume despite how high energy and overexcited she is, and bonds with her on their similar hyperfixations (Izuku's on quirks and Hatsume's on her babies).

Izuku avoids Katsuki like the plague, but can't help being interested in the hero course students. They're all so cool!

He starts getting noticed because of his work - his actual support items aren't the best, but his designs, ideas and analysis are great. He regularly gets caught mumbling about something borderline revolutionary and his teachers are like wtf. bro

Izuku does well in the sports festival because of his wits and the support items he designed and Hatsume made ; he does fight Shinsou, who wins since Izuku doesn't have his deus ex machina powers and can't escape Brainwashing. Izuku immediately gets attached to Shinsou, who's surprised Izuku doesn't hate him and his quirk.

(Shinsou then fights Todoroki : he loses, but his taunts to try and brainwash Todoroki make the latter start thinking about his quirk, resulting in a similar revelation than in canon, although slower)

Katsuki is somehow pretty calm about the whole "Deku got into the goddamn Sports Festival" thing. As calm as Katsuki can be at least.

Flashforward, end of season 2. Many hero course students have asked Izuku to help with either their costumes' designs or support items (mainly Aoyama for his belt, Hagakure and Yaoyorozu for obvious reasons, Kaminari to be able to aim his electricity, and Ashido to be able to use her acid more safely - so mostly aim stuff too).

Season 2 has Katsuki overworking himself during the exams with All Might and Izuku. I don't have the strength or the motivation to figure out how this goes without Izuku right now, but let's say it had Katsuki discover a major flaw in his gauntlets.

Thing is, he knows if he goes to support to get something better, he'll have to see Izuku. He doesn't really want to bully him anymore, it makes no sense to do so, but he isn't at the stage of his character development where he's like ok I got to apologize.

And what do we do when we're in distress? Right! Denial! (not actual advice don't ignore your problems people)

So Katsuki goes to support and pulls up like I need smth. Izuku doesn't realize it's Kacchan who's here until he turns around and he's like AA KACCHAN

Katsuki feels incredibly weird hearing the nickname again but doesn't say anything about it and acts like this is a perfectly normal interaction between two normal people. Denial at its finest

The second Katsuki explains his problem, Izuku gets out of his head. He knows Kacchan, his quirk, his fighting style, he very much knows how to fix this and even make it better. Katsuki remembers that there's someone out there who knows him and understand why he fights the way he does and has a mini crisis.

ultimately, he accepts Izuku's designs and says he'll be back to get his new gauntlets. He says "Thanks, Deku." and it's Izuku's turn to have a mini crisis.

(Hatsume definitely looks at him like yo dude. who this)

From then on Izuku is less scared to go talk to hero course students and stops avoiding Katsuki constantly. He makes some friendships!

He was already friends with Shinsou and Hatsume, but everyone else were just some people he kinda likes.

He mainly becomes friends with The Gang™ (Iida, Todoroki and Uraraka) but also with Ashido, Aoyama, Yaoyorozu and Hagakure from the time they came to him for designs.

When Katsuki gets kidnapped, Izuku is very very not okay. Like yeah they're not friends, but they used to be and Izuku still cares about Kacchan. He can't help but notice how much Katsuki's been trying to be nicer to him and others too (as subtle as it can be).

He definitely helps the Saving Bakugou Gang from where he can, giving them advice and support items. Katsuki feels many things when he learns how touched by this whole thing Izuku was.

On a funkier note, I feel like Izuku would definitely sit in during hero course classes when he doesn't have class. Aizawa probably doesn't care man would just be like heh whatever don't get killed

When Shinsou tells Izuku he's been training with Eraserhead and might actually enter the hero course, he gets so unbelievably excited. He comes up with a ton of ideas for Shinsou's costume, helps Hatsume with the Persona Cords and thinks of a ton of uses Shinsou quirk could have. He fills up an entire notebook with stuff about Shinsou and his quirk (Shinsou isn't sure if he should feel flattered or terrified).

from then on nothing that special happens and I'm too lazy rn to bother thinking of plot stuff. so let's skip to the 🔮 future 🔮

Izuku probably becomes a designer for costumes and support items, maybe keeps working with Hatsume (Hatsume is a genius at ingeneering but she often forgets people can like. die. so her items end up being unpractical. Izuku helps with that by overthinking every part of the item).

He actually also ends up making designs for civilians with unpractical quirks. Clothing is pretty much figured out but he definitely helps make mutation friendly fashion brands more popular, and he works to help people with unstable quirks have helpful stuff, like gloves for quirks like Shigaraki's or Uraraka's for example.

He'd probably be VERY helped by the fact that he's friends with a lot of heroes - they'd give him and Hatsume constant shout-outs and publicity.

Katsuki would also probably ask him to work at his agency at some point, but Izuku would say no, wanting to keeping working with Hatsume and be able to keep a wide range of stuff to work on.

I think after they dealt with their shit, Katsuki and Izuku would become friends again, though not as much as before.

Mainly I just want my mans to put his analyzing skills to use. anyways that was it folks

#mha #bnha #Izuku midoriya #hatsume mei #mha au #bnha au #mha headcanons #bnha headcanons #shinsou hitoshi

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halfelven · 1 year

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typical my life was fucked up stuff under the cut (csa)

i have quite high self esteem and self confidence which always surprises psychiatrists bc of my background but the thing is i don’t really know why i do? possibly out of spite? from pure necessity? byproduct of having to be as independent as i had to be?

i’m also not a people pleaser and i don’t really have social anxiety so it might stem from the idea that there was nothing i could do to get attention, affection, or help and the only person i could ever rely on was myself

i did use to hate myself and think a lot of the shit they told me about me was true, but i really like myself now and i don’t think my close friends all secretly hate me. i have to force myself to respect (good) authority and not think i’m better than other people. i think this probably does stem from the hyper independence. i also have to force myself to form attachments.

(this is one thing that i told my mother would happen to me in my ‘why i shouldn’t be this isolated’ presentations. i have referenced it in previous posts without admitting what it was since i don’t want to hurt people’s feelings by saying it is hard for me to form attachments or really care if someone stays in my life. it’s not consciously a choice to avoid hurt from people leaving, but it might be subconsciously that. i saw too many friends die as a child and then went into near total isolation and didn’t form any new relationships during a crucial time in child development—as i told my mother.)

i find it interesting how it is so different from what psychiatrists are expecting, but all my good drs have admitted there’s hardly any studies done on cases like mine, so there’s not that much to compare it to.

but my current dr doesn’t think i should do long distance therapy due to she thinks my therapist should closely monitor my body language and facial expressions.

(‘like what you’re doing with your hands,’ she says, as i glance down at how i’m twirling my thumbs round each other. i laugh since i knew that was one big thing she meant when she said it would be better in person. ‘yes, that makes sense, of course,’ i say. i smile at her, looking straight into her eyes and laugh again because i know the other thing she’s thinking and that we’re both not saying. ‘so much of trauma is held in the body,’ she says, ‘and long distance you can’t see more than the face. and you can’t mark changes.’ ‘of course,’ i agree.

i can’t remember our last appointment in february or the one before that in december. she tells me that both times i spoke clearly and was tidy and presentable. that she hadn’t noticed anything about me being completely gone. she asks if i was gone somewhere else. i truthfully tell her that i can’t remember most of the winter. nothing felt real and now most of it is dark.

she says i’m the perfect candidate for rehabilitation because i’m so driven and strong. that i need time to heal and establish myself. but i know what i want. i nod again. i know what i want. i don’t know who i am. she says my background was inhuman and inhumane. i nod and smile again. i haven’t smiled this much in weeks.

i tell her i’m glad i got the rehabilitation because i do know what i want and my studies will help me get it but i was scared that if i started therapy while expected to do full time studies i would just fall apart completely. ‘it’s going to be bad,’ i say. it’s going to get worse before it gets better. i push away images of inhuman cruelty that did not happen to me.

‘therapy is very hard,’ she says. ‘but it helps. no one would do it if it didn’t help. it’s too painful… unless they were extreme masochists!’ we both laugh. i have bruises running up my arm from bite marks.

i don’t get home before i break down crying in the park. i lean against a tree and cry. she’s telling me i’m getting real help, actual stability. i’m crying because that’s a mean joke to play on someone. it’s not real. and even if it were, i can’t grasp the concept of stability. i’ve never been able to plan my life more than a month ahead.

and nothing seems real anyway. i’m floating instead of actually stepping on the ground. i didn’t sleep last night and i have just come back from a funeral that reminded me that i have no one to turn to. it’s so warm, and it was still winter in the north. and i’m tired so all the light seems brighter.

nothing is real and i didn’t live through that hell. yesterday i read a sad, sad book and knew that it had to have happened. my denial, my memory working exactly like that. it couldn’t happen. it was too cruel. i couldn’t deny it longer. but today is real. of course it didn’t happen. nothing is real. i whisper old words in my mind, ‘this isn’t happening. this isn’t happening.’ so it didn’t happen. so it could never have happened. it wasn’t real then and it’s not real now.

and i fall apart for no reason, and they’re going to find out, and get mad at me for lying, and take away all my help and i’ll never be able to keep a job because i’m too dramatic and just want attention.

of course that’s not true. i know i couldn’t fake this. i’m too strong anyway. if it didn’t happen i would already have gone so far in life. become a surgeon or something. i’m too smart. too resourceful. too determined and independent and brave. it was something bad that made this. it just didn’t happen to me.

another doctor stared at me before and told me i had a fire inside me she had never seen before. and another doctor told me i had the strongest will he had ever seen. that sounds made up but it happened and i still don’t know what to think of it.

the one who called me strongest liked me so much that it was not at all professional. he told me that i was too self aware for him to be anything but entirely direct. and then he told me i was brilliant and had to go to grad school so my mind wouldn’t be wasted and that i would change the world. ((people who haven’t gotten off their computer in ten years will say it never happened.))

and i am sitting here today knowing that i have written a book that could probably help change the world. and it would also give my soul away, in a sense. it’s brutally raw and there’s not much that i’m hiding—there is some of course, but i would go insane if there wasn’t. and sure i’m brave. but am i that brave?

ever since i was a child i knew that i would always be hated. not because i was at my core entirely hateable but because i was always going to make so many enemies.

i heard their stories and what they wanted for the world, and i was going to make myself their enemy. an evil villain who they could focus some hatred on, get it away from people who didn’t want it. change others’ minds.

that’s not the part i’m scared of. it’s just going to be so hard to hear people who say they want to help csa victims say i survived wrong. coped wrong. got my sexuality wired wrong. and i’m not leaving that out because i know other people kill themselves over this. i’m sick of saying i’m sorry for being raped as an infant and coming out wrong. i’m not sorry.

i’m violent and angry. i’d like to torture him to death. and people say they want to do that for less. if you are stripped entirely of your pride and humanity what do you become?

at least he never broke me

#probably the longest non story post i’ve made #musings #personali #medical //#typical exposure therapy for publishing autobiography #gdlplu

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person4924 · 8 months

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hi hello i saw on ur pinned post that u do analyses and stuff on characters and as a fellow joey potter stan i would very much like to read any and all of ur thoughts on her,, there’s tons of stuff in the fandom about pacey/joey and pacey but i have yet to see an in-depth character study of just joey which is a shame bc she is SUCH an interesting and wonderful and complex character outside of her romantic relationships (which the show sadly doesn’t showcase very much) and her fuckass codependent messy situationship with d*wson (let her be FREE of that BEAST)

so yes. any and all things joey potter at ur earliest convenience please :) <3

OOO YESS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!!

so i’m rewatching atm bc i watched a few years ago and forgot how much i loved it and i’m still brushing up so correct me if i’m wrong about anything

you can see whenever someone tries to comfort her, talk to her about emotions or compliment her, her body language gets closed off. she’ll hide herself and pull her knees to her chest and lean away from the person. also whenever someone calls her pretty, she’ll flat out call them wrong. it’s so obvious how much she hates herself and the way she looks, and ik u said u didn’t want me to talk about her rs with dawsons but i think it’s important to her character and how she interacts with him is important. it’s important to note that, they were childhood friends and he was there for her throughout all of the trauma she induced, her mom dying, her dad going to prison, everything. and i think physiologically that’s probably a big reason she fell in love with him. he was “there” for her throughout all of that, and so subconsciously she probably developed a deep connection to him and felt like she could trust him with everything and anything, and so she mistaked that for being in love with him. and then it ended in unhealthy codependency and dawson being a dick. AND also she was in love with him, like actually in love with him, and while she’s been in love with him for a while, dawsons only realizes when she has makeup on and is all dressed up. which is basically like “i’m only attracted to you because it’s convenient and your pretty” which is so fucked up. so in her head she probably connected love with looks and so in her head now she’s thinking “i have to be pretty to be loved” and she already thought she was ugly. so basically in her head dawson made her think “i have to be pretty to be loved, and i’m not pretty so i can never be loved” and that also shows in her future rs that whenever someone says that they love her or think she’s beautiful she shuts down, and again you can see it in her body language. OH WAIT ok i also forgot, before all this, because of her parents rs shes in the mindset that “vulnerability is bad and allows opportunity for people to leave, so don’t be vulnerable.” sooo basically her head is already so fucked up and confused and then dawson just added a ton of shit on top of that. and again with her body language you can see whenever she feels vulnerable or emotional, that’s why she gets closed off and snaps at people

i hope that made sense and i didn’t focus on dawson too much (i hate him sm) and thank you so much for asking! if you have any other specific questions or requests i would be more than happy to do them

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gwynbleiddyn · 1 year

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4, 58 and 69 (nice) for Mio

HRMMMMHMMM LETS SEE

4. if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

this is an interesting one because the man is proficient in arcana and has extensively studied magic at some point in his life in order to obtain said proficiency, but he uses it purely based on Vibes and that's very sexy of him, and he doesn't really know spells as a result - not like people like Sav or Cai or Laz would.

the wording of this question is a little weird to me so i'm just going to name a spell that isnt at all accessible to mio based on class and the fact he won't ever get an 8th level spell: Sunburst... because that would fuck severely with the aesthetic and it targets what he hates most with what he adores most. poetic justice and so on and so forth

58. what do they think their role in the party is? what is their role in actuality?

i don't think he sees himself as a very integral part of the group at all. he's just kind of there. he has his connections to each of them and he does care in his own weird way about them, but he could leave and he wouldn't worry about them. it wouldn't feel great and he'd miss them, for sure, but he wouldn't be at all concerned that they wouldn't be able to cope with a fight or whatever comes next in his absence.

in terms of the reality... i'm unsure, honestly. utility wise, he can do a lot that we haven't really touched on in game. he has useful features for espionage and subterfuge, which isn't something we really run into or at least it's not a method Talisman like to use. he can deal damage, he can crowd control, he can tank well enough, and he buffs the party. he can do A Lot, but none of that is done in a way where he is the go-to for any of those things.

part of it stems from me not knowing what the fuck to do with a dnd character when i made him and gave him a ridiculously useless stat spread that we had to patch up with feats as he levelled up so he's not Optimised like some other PCs, and part of it kind of came along when i played him and developed him and kind of understood that the narrative reason that he's a jack of all trades is because that's how he has to be if he wants to be a halfway decent king.

69. how would they describe their party members?

this is asking for trouble but the point here is you ASKED. i won't do wordy descriptions bc i dont have the braincells for that right now but shortform summaries are king, focusing a lot on how mio perceives everyone rather than Descriptions alone. let's go a-z

Alar: genuine bestie, a confidant, the perseverant edge to his own temperamental spirit. meryset, beloved of setekh but also beloved of ra. someone who understands the demands of divinity, and doesn't dismiss them. one of few people who could ask to walk into the hells and mio would follow. there's nothing more i can add.

Cai: a troublesome magpie, but a genuine friend. he brings laughter when it feels lost. that's an ability that can't be overstated, even if mio sometimes feels like he's gained another younger sibling to meticulously dance around at times.

Diric: strong and steady is a good descriptor. even in his worst moments he seems to have his head above water. in the same vein i think mio would describe him as frustrating, because he doesn't just lose his shit and bite back and scream and shout and throw a tantrum, and mio kind of wants to see it, to feel better. otherwise, though not as much at the forefront of the party since his return, mio still sees him as something of a compass to the group. and having shared some brief part of his life with diric, mio knows that in his heart he will always have a fondness for him, though it will take many different shapes and forms in the potential millennia he will live.

Laszlo: it is a strange echo with laz, there is a familiarity there in their station and perhaps some of the early experiences they had growing up but knowing that laz chose his new family and mio still holds onto his old one is perhaps a very telling schism between the two. mio respects him deeply, in the way he respected his tutors from the many colleges of Akhenaton - they held power in what they knew, and that could be dangerous, unchecked.

Savita: it's hard to know where to start. savita brings out the worst in mio, the pettiness, the self-importance, the indignance. but she also has good advice and is undeniably smart about the world, though maybe not wise. he struggles with her. he doesn't really know if they will reconcile that, ever, and while i don't think he's interested in bridging the gap, he's forced to accept the perspective she brings to the table. his feelings towards her are summed up by begrudging acceptance with a sprinkling of "you've shot me in the head and also saved my ass in equal measure and my gratitude and my pettiness cancel each other out into vague ambivalence"

Zinnan: like the feywild weaves and bends to whimsy and fleeting thought, mio's perception of zinnan traverses very unsteady ground. they're fascinating to talk to and they make appealing offers, but they're so untrustworthy. they're purposeful in action, but so aimless in themselves. you look at them one way and they appear in another. mio always enjoys his conversations with them, but he's always left feeling like he lost something in the process. he can't get a bead on them, but his one comfort is that you can always trust the untrustworthy to be just that.

#c: maahes basekh #WHEW THIS WAS HEFTY #dnd: talisman

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scover-va · 2 years

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Also because you’ve been talking about them recently… any headcanons for the Pony Island gang as a whole? I read your post about the Daemons and you’ve absolutely got my interest (Asmodeus and Buer in particular are such interesting takes).

Good bc my gf and I have developed Buer and Asmo the most (I’m sorry Azazel and Beel but yall are mostly comedic relief rn)

Doing this in order of character appearance (as far as I can remember anyways, I can’t perfectly remember when Baphomet makes their first appearance)

Theodore (the player):

Chronically sad

He misses his family, but also can’t perfectly remember them, so he’s stuck grieving in a confused state

Was a bit of a flirt when he was alive, though p much dropped that shortly after getting with his gf/future wife

He’s a sad drunk

I don’t have much for him, or anything for HS, since my gf plays them, and we’re biased towards Asmo and Buer rn

Lou Natas/Lucifer:

As old as the concept of sin itself

Only started going by Lucifer/Satan after humans nicknamed him that

Souls he wants to take are regular player souls, souls he already has in his possession when the person dies becomes a demon. There’s many different demon jobs

The only demon of his who isn’t a stolen soul would be good ol’ farty mcgee Vallamir

Like I said in my Barry hcs, they dated for a bit. Lucifer’s a gayass

Struggles with issues that he dubs ‘mortal issues’, such as pain of any kind or emotions. He hates it

Made Gamefuna so he could keep making games, though obviously sucks at it

Created three ai’s to aid in game creation, Irving being one of them

The pony in Pony Island, creatively named Pony, is his daughter and he would kill on sight for his kid. All his other kids (the demons, not actual kids they just call him ‘father’ as a respect thing) can go die in a ditch tho for all he cares. Especially Bu-

His sister is as old as the concept of morality, basically being God. I’m taking some basic religious things and moving them a little to the left bc im not fuckin reading the bible so I can go make Lucifer a manwhore /j

Baphomet:

They/Them, very gnc to the point where you cant tell their gender

Sold their soul for infinite knowledge and wisdom, as well as the ability to see into the future

Was like a parental figure to Buer during their time on the overworld map

Baphomet lived back during BC times. I don’t have an exact time as to when they died, but they’re the oldest of the daemons

Killed themself back when they were alive so they could have immortality

The braincell AND the impulse control of the group

Azazel:

Was a party animal when he was alive

Sold his soul for simple power, most likely to have as a cool party trick

Somehow the nice one when compared to everyone else

My gf plays him in the rp so i got NO idea what her interpretation of his death was. Sorry folks

Buer:

Lived back during the black plague

Came from a highly religious family of priests and nuns. His family wanted him to do the same thing but he wanted to study medicine

Only ‘supportive’ relative was his uncle. His uncle was still highly religious, but hey. We’ll get to that later

Had a boyfriend back when he was alive! Gayass

When the black plague started up, he and his bf switched to love letters instead of meeting in person, since Buer decided to become a plague doctor to help with fighting off the plague

Was typically unbothered by all the death around him. He grew used to it

That changed though when a little girl in his village fell ill with the bubonic plague. He didn’t know the kid, but every attempt to help her get better proved to be useless

So, after doing some research, he summoned Satan and sold his soul in exchange for the girl to be healthy

Weeeeeeell the family was then accused of witchcraft, the parents and little girl all burned at the stake. Buer still hears the girl’s screams in his sleep

Went on with his life for a bit, but his uncle found out about Buer’s newfound connection to the devil. His uncle told others, and Buer was soon burned at the stake, too

Lucifer used him as a temporary solution, just someone to guard the third core file while he looked for a better daemon. Buer was none the wiser

Buer’s mechanic would just be that you’d need to wait him out. That’s it. He’d make it impossible to reach the core file via glitchy walls blocking said file, but it drains him of so much energy he kills himself in the process

Obviously, grew resentful and angry when he was replaced. Stayed in the overworld map, only talking to Baphomet

Did take his own life at some point between being replaced and Theodore showing up, but Baphomet brought him back

He’s also severely mentally fucking ill. He uses drawing as a coping mechanism

Beelzebub:

Was a soldier in his past life

His side was losing a war, and he didn’t wanna die. So, he traded his soul in exchange for his side winning the battle

Was later killed on a different battlefield, being dragged down to hell to become a daemon

Living up to his namesake, Beel snacks a lot. His non-file demon form is also based on a fly, since canonical mythology Beelzebub is the lord of the flies

Asmodeus:

He’s albino!

Was born into royalty in the 1600’s

Had a twin brother

When his father fell ill, he and his brother started competing to see who would be better fit for the crown, constantly battling for their parent’s attention

Asmo constantly lost at these challenges. So, he sold his soul so he could be better than his brother

Upon becoming king, he banished his brother so he wouldn’t have to deal with him again

One day before a royal meeting, he came in to do his makeup. Thanks to his poor eyesight, an assassin snuck up on him after Asmo sat down in front of his vanity

Asmo was forced to slit his own throat

Quickly replaced Buer, and hated him because he thought he had to, thanks to the competition thing with his brother

He knows how to sing! Has a low and sultry singing voice

Also had a pet raccoon who was a golden colour names Vanilla. I found this out in the rp last night. I was expecting a cat or something but Vanilla is much much better

He’s a clean freak because he got in trouble once as a kid for making a huge mess and not cleaning it up. Fun

Twink (affectionate)

Aaand that’s all! That I remember, anyways. Would’ve been quicker but wifi isn’t working on my chromebook so I had to type all this up on mobile. Fml

#pony island game #pony island spoilers #pony island #lou natas #theodore pony island #azazel.exe #baphomet.exe #buer.exe #beelzebub.exe #asmodeus.exe #does theo have a last name? i cant remember #scov.txt #currently hoping the read more doesnt fuck up on mobile like it did last time

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beneaththegildedmoon · 4 months

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It should be so much more socially acceptable not to go to university tbh

Waaaayyy too many people go because they feel like they have to, and then spend 3-4 years moaning about how awful it is and how much they hate having to do assignments and essays and stuff. And I get that people sometimes just like to moan even if they are mostly having an alright time, I'm not talking about those people. But if you're genuinely having a shit time and don't enjoy any of your classes or have any genuine interest in the subject, I promise you there are better things you could be doing with your time than putting yourself in debt just so you can skip all your lectures and go out drinking every night.

You're paying to be there, often quite a lot of money, if you're having that bad of a time you should genuinely just fucking leave and do literally anything else. Find an office job, do a coding bootcamp, join an apprenticeship scheme, do data entry or admin work, work retail or food service if you can handle it, do anything but rot your way through four years you won't get back.

Chances are you'll end up doing one of those jobs anyway bc the odds of actually getting a job in your field are horrendous unless you're getting a First with Honours and even then it can be rough (yes even in STEM, i'm primarily friends with software developers, engineers, and chemists and they have had it rough even with good grades and a passion for their subjects).

And yeah "Cs get degrees" but unless you've got a 1st or a really high 2:1 and evidence of experience and skills training outside your degree it's just not going to get you a job. So, if hypothetically better employment prospects are the only reason you're sticking it out on a course you hate, if you don't enjoy your studies and have a genuine interest in it, then the degree is basically meaningless tbh

#im not saying you should quit #im just saying you should think about whether this is actually what you want to be doing

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hxlda-hxlda · 5 months

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Okay so I have just finished reading the last chapter that u just uploaded and if u dont mind im gonna rant about It .

First of all Remus and Sirius being paired Up was soo unexpected but im totally here for It . And the pure silence is seriously making me suffer I totally understand why Sirius was being dramatic cause i cant handle awkward silence , It will be the death of me i swear.

Secondly I loved the dorcas and Sirius interactions , well the whole slytherin skittles dynamic tbh .

And the way that Sirius and James hate each other more than Remus and Sirius ...

Thats soo weird and different but for some reason I really like It and am pretty interested in seeing more interactions between them .

Welpp thats all , to lazy to write more .

THANKS FOR THE UPDATE

Cant wait for the next one

thanks for reading dearest!!!!! i do not mind at ALL nothing is more fun than ppl talking to me abt my own self-induced brainrot, so rant away (as i’m now going to)!!!!!

it’s shocking to me it was a surprising turn of events. but then again it was one of the first things i KNEW was going to happen in this fic when i came up with the idea over two months ago, so it’s been rattling around my brain for a while. a lot of this fic is going to be based around those prefect rounds, which i am so thrilled to have play out.

and YES, the awkward looks and silences are everything to me!!! for me high school drama was a lot of just,,, i don’t want to talk to you,,, so i’m gonna sit here in bitter silence,,,, and it will be so fuckin weird,,,, and i love forcing that onto sirius and rem (and all of you) bc ugh. it truly is PAINFUL.

cas and sirius have become one of my favourite dynamics so unexpectedly, but i actually adore them with my whole soul - writing them is so easy and fun.

same with all our skittles. rejoining the marauders fandom after years of absence as i did, the concept of the skittles is something i’ve been discovering slowly (as it fully was not around when i was) and i was in no way expecting to write something so them-centric, but i’m enjoying how my characterisations are turning out (even if they’re a bit different from fanon)!!!!

good god i have so much to say abt sirius, james and remus in this fic. at the end of the day i’m going for this kind of mirror to fanon/canon where sirius and james are THE relationship (obvs they hate each other rn, but it is still a defining duo) and remus feels kind of on the outs as a result, seeing himself as something seperate and perhaps less of a priority as a result.

i could write a whole character study on james just for this fic. one of my main writing considerations is a sirius without a james who has shown him unconditional love. sirius in gryffindor is so different bc of JAMES, the first person to love him so overtly. when he doesn’t have that (even in his skittles in this fic, not in a way that isn’t attached to his family identity (at least in his own mind)), where does that leave sirius? bc then it also means, how do james and sirius develop a relationship when it doesn’t start with a foundation of ‘i chose you as my best mate in yr 1’, yk??? they hate each other already, where do they go from there in the future??? just. ugh. platonic prongsfoot. kills me every fucking time.

cannot wait for the next one as well, she’s a big one!!!! i’ll tell you that.

#i LOVE getting notifications thanks so much #mwah mwah #fic: that’s the idea #ask it coward

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