Secret Santa ‘22 (Pt 1)
Surprise, @rebeccapearson! I’m your Secret Santa! The happiest of holidays to you and your loved ones. I hope you enjoy this fic - it’s the first of three that I will be posting over the next few days. I loved your prompts so much that I simply had to write all three of them! 💕
A Toast to the Idiot
Pairing: Bill Guarnere x Female OC
Word count: 4605
Tone: Friends to lovers, cluelessness, mutual pining, light angst with a happy ending
Prompt: “A girl could smack me on the head and I wouldn’t realize she was into me.” / (x) smacks him on the back of the head / “Ow! What the hell was that for?!”
Summary: She’s doing everything she can and more to make him understand the ways of her heart, but somehow, the message just isn’t getting across.
OR
The one where Bill Guarnere wouldn’t recognize a girl in love if she kissed him.
Read it here on AO3!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The hell are you on about, Joe? 'Soft hands'. The fuck does that even mean?"
"It means I like a girl with soft hands!" Joe Toye throws up his own not-so-soft hands. "So sue me, Johnny. Jesus."
Dianne Soren quirks an amusedly confused brow as she comes around the side of her bunk, putting her hands on her hips.
"The hell did I miss? And why do y'all always end up sittin' on my bed?"
"Hi, Sarge," Joe and Johnny Martin chorus.
"Hi, boys." Dianne turns to their third companion. "Well? Bill? You got an explanation for me?"
"Your bed's just the comfiest, Di," he says in that usual charming manner of his. "Smells the best, too."
Dianne laughs. "Fair 'nuff. Now scoot."
She pushes lightly at Bill's shoulder until he makes room for her, and as she sits down with them, he looks her up and down.
"What?"
"Gimme your hands."
Dianne tries half-heartedly to avoid Bill's grabbing, quirking a skeptical brow.
"Are you tryin' to set me up with Joe? Again?"
"Gimme," he whines, ignoring her question, then seizes her hands and grins in triumph. "See! Soft hands, just like I thought."
Dianne (whose cheeks are a little warmer than before) snatches her fingers away, laughing.
"You are tryin' to set me up! Bill, for the tenth time, he ain't my type. No offense, Joe."
Joe chuckles, low and gravelly, and pokes Bill in the arm.
"None taken. I've got a girl back home, Bill, 'member?"
"Yeah, yeah-" Bill waves him off. "-but hey, what is your type, Di?"
All three of Bill's friends are caught off guard by his query—most likely because the answer is considered common knowledge—and when Dianne blinks at Bill in disbelief, she's not the only one. Joe and Johnny look at each other, then at Bill, who still seems blissfully unaware. Dianne glances him up and down, then looks away, musing at the spiderweb clinging to the corner of the ceiling.
"Hell, Bill, I dunno."
"C'mon, give it a try," he goads. "For me?"
"Yeah," Johnny snickers, "for him."
Without looking, Dianne swings her pillow and smacks him square in the mouth. He splutters and complains but she ignores him, trying not to smirk at Joe's suppressed laughter.
"Alright," she concedes to Bill. "Well, I do like a good smile."
He flashes his teeth at her, and she almost falters over her next words.
"He's gotta have a nice, strong jaw."
Bill's smile grows, and she thinks he might be catching on.
"Ain't nothin' sexier than two big, strong arms to hold me with," she adds, daring to squeeze his bicep, and when he runs his tongue over his upper teeth, her breath catches.
"Very sexy," he agrees.
"And-" She smirks, reaching over to ruffle his hair as she reminds herself how to breathe. "-he's gotta be shorter than me."
Joe (who is taller than Dianne) starts laughing, Johnny (who is shorter) rolls his eyes, and Bill simply chuckles and tugs at one of Dianne's curls.
"Half the Company's shorter than you, Di."
"Shorter than me when I'm not in heels," she amends, and Bill grins.
"Make that a quarter o' the Company."
"Including you," Johnny points out, only to get another mouthful of pillow and be nearly knocked off the bed. "You seein' this?" he splutters to Joe. "The hell'd I ever do to her?"
"Exist," Dianne teases, sticking her tongue out at him, and her smile grows when Bill's loud laugh rings out freely.
"That's my girl." He tugs her against his side. "So? Anything else you like in a fella?"
"Well, I'd like to be called his girl, for one," she offers, bracing herself, but Bill doesn't even bat an eye.
"'Course, you would!" he chuckles. "And he'd better call you his girl, or he ain't treatin' you right."
"And he'd better show me off on his arm whenever we go out."
"Who wouldn't?"
Bill's grin warps into a frown when he sees her visibly deflate. He tickles her side and she squirms, a laugh bubbling up past her lips.
"What? What?" he asks, still tickling her. "Somethin' else you wanna say?"
"Maybe she's embarrassed about it," Johnny teases with a smirk, and this time, Joe's the one to smack him with the pillow. "Oh, for fuck's sake-"
"I ain't embarrassed," Dianne refutes. "Just a little sad he don't get it."
"Who don't get it?" Bill quirks his brow amusedly. "Who's makin' ya sad, sweetheart?" He points over his shoulder at Johnny. "Is it this idiot? Want me to beat him up for ya?"
"Nah, Bill," she laughs, giving up the game now that she's sure she won't win it, "don't try to beat up Johnny."
"Try?" he scoffs as she gets up, untwisting one of her suspenders where it has tangled over her shoulder. "I could put this fool down in two seconds flat."
"You keep tellin' yourself that, sugar."
Johnny grins, proud of Dianne's endorsement, and Bill jumps to his feet, following her away from the bed.
"Sweetheart, that was mean," he scolds her, but when she laughs, he forgets he's supposed to be put off. "Where the hell are you goin'?"
"To try and find a broom," she says, grabbing her jacket off the bedpost of her bunk. "You think they've got one in the mess hall?"
"Prob'ly. What for?"
Dianne points distractedly at the spiderweb right above Bill's head, but then Bill jumps a full foot back and she pauses, turning to him.
"Are you...?"
"Don't say it," he grumbles, pinkening slightly as he backs away from the corner.
"I can't believe it," she says, the corners of her mouth tugging up.
"Di, don't."
"Wild Bill's afraid of spiders."
He groans, and though she tries not to laugh, she fails.
"I told ya not to," he scolds. "I warned ya!"
"Bill-" Dianne giggles, then gasps when Bill steals her cap right off her head and dances away. "Bill!"
"Say I'm not afraid of spiders!" He doesn't seem to realize why she's flustered, and she isn't sure if she's glad or disappointed. "Say it!"
"Alright, alright, you're not afraid of spiders!" she gasps, and when he returns her cap, she makes sure to jump out of his reach before she holds up the fingers she's crossed behind her back.
"Oh, you little shit-"
Dianne dashes out the door, laughing, and Bill runs after her. He catches her a short way down the road and wraps his arms around her torso, picking her up and spinning her around. She shrieks a laugh and when he puts her down, chuckling close to her ear, she spins around and pushes at his chest. Their eyes meet. In the movies, this would be the moment where Bill leaned in and kissed her, and her foot would pop up as she wrapped her arms around his neck. But this is real life, and in real life, Bill is 100% committed to her as a friend. Before she can do a damn thing other than breathe, he grabs her hand, twirls her under his arm, and starts walking away while she's still recovering—her dizziness is doubled, less so by the spin than by how close she'd gotten to him.
"Idiot," she mumbles under her breath, smoothing her hands over the lower half of her face, just as Bill turns over his shoulder, bearing a cheeky smirk.
"C'mon, sweetheart, what're ya waitin' for?"
"You to wise up," she teases, a little disgruntled, but he just looks confused, and she reminds herself he doesn't mean anything by his cluelessness.
"Huh?"
"I'm comin', I'm comin'."
He doesn't seem to think anything of her comment on wising up, and as they turn around the bend, passing the four storage sheds that mark the end of the residential part of the base, she shrugs more comfortably into her jacket and pokes her friend's arm.
"Alright, well, you asked me, so now I've got to ask you," she says once she's got his attention. "What's your type, Bill?"
"Any girl that likes me," he replies, puffing out his chest, and Dianne snickers.
"Oh, yeah? You got yourself any takers yet?"
"A couple-"
"Oh?"
"-dozen."
"Ohhh." Dianne nods as if she believes him. "Uh-huh. I could see that."
He wrinkles his nose up at her and pushes her, but that doesn't stop her laughter, and he doesn't seem to really mind.
"Ya shoulda seen the girls back in Philly," he brags, hooking his arm around hers. "They were all over me."
"I bet they were, hot shot."
He grins. "You wanna know a secret, sweetheart? Just 'cause I trust ya so much?"
"Always."
He leans over, and as he whispers, his breath tickles her ear and sends a shiver up her spine.
"I had to get my buddies to ask 'em if they liked me or not."
Dianne laughs, genuinely surprised. "You're foolin' with me."
"Am not." He shrugs, a little bashful but still grinning. "A girl could smack me on the head and I wouldn’t realize she was into me."
Dianne studies him for a moment, then reaches up and smacks him on the back of the head.
“Ow!" He jumps away from her, rubbing the spot where she smacked him as he pouts at her. "What the hell was that for?!”
Though Dianne wants to sigh, she laughs instead.
"Just testin' ya." Before he can think about it any harder, she grabs his arm and tugs him toward the steps to the mess hall. "Now c'mon, let's go get that broom."
A few days later, Dianne is back in the mess hall for lunch. She's got George Luz on one side, Joe Liebgott on the other, and Frank Perconte straight ahead. It's a rowdy group, but she likes it that way (and she'd like it even better if Bill was here, too). Then Liebgott gets up to have a row with some clumsy fool from Dog Company who's made a mess on the floor behind him, and Dianne, uninterested in a fight, turns to Luz only to find him gone and Donald Hoobler in his place.
"'Afternoon, Hoobs," Dianne says without batting an eye. She's used to the quick comings and goings around here. It's the Airborne way.
"Sergeant." Hoobler tips his cap at her, straddling the bench. "Mind if I sit here?"
Dianne looks up and tilts her head, clueing him in on the rising argument behind her, and he laughs.
"Point taken." He flashes her a smile as he settles in. "How's your day been, Sarge?"
"Couldn't be better. Sun came up in the mornin' and we've got Sobel down for the count with that glorious cold."
Hoobler kisses his fingers and raises them toward the heavens.
"Amen to that." He grins, then leans toward her. "You know, I've been hearin' rumors..."
"I can see 'em buzzin' around your ears like flies," Dianne retorts, and Hoobler sucks in a breath through his teeth, humbled.
"Ouch. I never met a woman with a sharper tongue."
Dianne chuckles, patting him on the shoulder, and he relaxes.
"So? What're these rumors about?"
"You and somebody special." The corner of Hoobler's mouth turns up. "Just wanted to... corroborate the story, y'know?"
"Yeah, sure." Dianne rolls her eyes. "I swear, you boys gossip more than any woman on this fine green earth."
"I'd believe it," he laughs. "So?"
"Brazen as you might be," she sighs, "I'll tell you."
He leans over and she whispers the name in his ear, and when he straightens back up, he's grinning.
"Jumping Jack Christ, I knew it!"
"You knew it? Just you?"
"Me and half the Company," he admits what she's long suspected, then thinks for a moment. "Actually more like three-quarters, if you include the officers."
Dianne makes a face. "Lord have mercy, that's pathetic."
"What, that everybody and their mother knows, but the fortunate fella himself doesn't?"
She waves her fork his way, sipping at her water.
"You said it, Hoobs, not me."
"Maybe you're just not... being obvious enough?" Hoobler shrugged. "Other than flat-out telling him, I mean."
"I wish you were right," she chuckles mildly. "Trust me, it don't matter what I say. Watch this."
Dianne leans back on the bench, sticks her pinkie fingers in the corners of her mouth, and whistles sharply. Bill looks up and sees her (as do a dozen others in the vicinity) and flashes her a grin. She grins right back.
"Lookin' good, hot stuff!"
His smile spreads from ear to ear, and he winks at her, then goes back to chatting with his buddies. Dianne turns back to Hoobler only to start laughing mid-shrug.
"Hoobs, you're gaping like a salmon."
She curves her hands and knocks her fingers together, sticking out her chin and moving her bottom lip up and down to imitate the fish. Hoobler pushes half-heartedly at her arm and her teasing devolves into laughter.
"Oh, shut up." He shakes his head. "Jeez, he's clueless."
"Ain't that the truth." She shrugs again. "At this point, I dunno what I'm even s'posed to do."
"Keep trying, I guess." Hoobler scrunches up his face. "Tough luck, Sarge."
"Yeah."
Dianne sighs and looks over at Bill. One of his buddies points her out and he flashes her a broad, charming, strictly-friendly grin.
"Tough luck, indeed."
A few cycles of the sun later, it's Saturday night, and every single Easy man (and woman) is out on the town, even the ones who don't usually drink. They're shipping out on Monday, either north or west, and then to God knows what shore, so they're partying it up while they still can. With a little liquid courage, Dianne decides to give it one last try. She saunters over to the darts board where Bill is clearly losing against the combined team of George Luz and Johnny Martin.
"Hey, y'all."
"Hey, Sarge," Luz and Johnny chorus, and Bill turns over his shoulder with a grin.
"Di!" He grabs her arm and tugs her over. "Fellas, prepare for your downfall."
Di laughs, slinging her arm over Bill's shoulder and leaning on him slightly. "Really, boys, two against one? Ain't you ever heard of a little thing called fairness?"
"No, ma'am," Luz replies with a cheeky grin, passing her a dart. "So? Show us what you got!"
Dianne, who played competitive darts at a renovated speakeasy during her first two years at college (the subsequent two have been delayed by the war), easily takes the win over Luz and Johnny. Blowing on her nails before pretending to buff them out on her shoulder, she gloats for a few seconds as they beg for another match. She's quick to give in, her ego boosted just a little when her opponents insist on taking several minutes to construct a game plan in order to beat her. While they're still debating, Bill leaves to fetch her another drink, proclaiming Dianne his champion; as soon as he's gone, she pulls Luz and Johnny aside and ropes them into her plan. They're good sports and agree, and when Bill returns, they pretend they've decided against challenging Dianne after all. Bill celebrates a bit too soon, however, and Luz and Johnny quickly clamor for him to play Dianne one-on-one. He turns to her with a gleam in his eye that makes her stomach flip and flicks his eyebrows until she laughs and agrees.
"Oh, you're goin' down, sweetheart."
"Sure," she scoffs, handing him the dart for the first throw. "Keep talkin' like that, a girl might think you're scared o' little old me."
"What're we bettin' on? Cigarettes? Chocolate? Cash?" He wiggles his eyebrows. "A kiss?"
Dianne chokes on her beer and Bill rubs her back as she coughs through it.
"I was only kiddin'. You want some water, honey?"
She shakes her head, her face still bowed so he won't see her embarrassment, and when Bill brings his hand to her forehead, his chuckling dies away.
"Shit, you're runnin' hot." He grabs Luz's arm. "Get the lady some water, yeah?"
He nods and goes off with Johnny close behind. Dianne has already recovered (for the most part), and tries to call off their mission but goes unheard. She sighs and turns toward Bill, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly.
"Sorry," she says, "breathed in right when I shouldn't have."
"Happens to the best of us," he says with a shrug, a hint of his teasing smile returning. "You still up for that game? Or did that little cough put ya outta commission?"
"Oh-ho, you did not," she laughs, pushing him toward the darts board. "I'm gonna whoop your Philly ass."
Luz comes back with the water, and Dianne, once revived, does indeed whoop Bill's Philly ass, coming away with a winning streak of four-to-none. As soon as Bill knows he's lost, he comes back at her with such moving pleas for another match that she can't find it in her heart to turn him down. When he turns to her the fifth time, she presses her hand to his mouth to silence him.
"No, sugar," she laughs. "You go on and take your losses like a man."
He pouts at her, and when that doesn't work, he slumps and starts digging through his pockets.
"Alright, what do I owe ya?"
"Hmm." Dianne pretends to consider although the answer's already on the tip of her tongue. "Well, you're the one who put a kiss on the table..."
"Four," he agrees, defying her expectations, his grin halfway to a smirk. "I lost four times, didn't I?"
Dianne can't help a slight chuckle. "You sure did."
She's tense and they can both tell, but then he plants a big kiss on her cheek and she relaxes, swatting his shoulder.
"Aww, c'mon, Bill, that ain't- mmph!"
He's kissed her for real this time, right on the lips, and though it's more of a peck than anything, it shuts her right up. As she blinks at him, reeling, Bill grins.
"Better?"
Before she's got the wits to answer, he's leaning in for another smooch, and she melts. The second kiss is nice but too short, and when Dianne chases his lips as he pulls away, Bill seems to get the hint. The third kiss is the real thing, the one that makes Dianne's knees go weak. He cups her face in his big, warm hands and tilts his head just a little to kiss her properly. She wraps her arms around his neck and he drops his hands to her waist. She kind of wants to put her foot up behind her the way they do in the movies, the way she's sort of always dreamed about doing with him—but then he leans back and she's lost the chance.
"Whoo!" he whoops, tossing his head back, and though he's holding her like a gentleman, he's grinning like a maniac. "Shit, sweetheart, I think you knocked the breath outta me."
Dianne giggles and almost says something about how much she likes him, but he's already turning away to talk to Johnny, and the words die on her lips. Though he tugs her snugly against his side, she can't help but feel like she's missed something. Or, more likely, he's missed something—yet again.
"I'm gonna get another drink," she says, and though she doesn't really expect Bill to hear her, he turns at once.
"You sure?"
"I've only had two."
"Right, right." He laughs. "Way you kissed me made me think it was more." He squeezes her side and lets her go, unaware of just how finely he's wounded her. "Just lookin' out for ya, sweetheart."
"As always," she agrees, but her heart isn't in it.
Dianne slips away to the bar and is lucky enough to find an empty seat beside Joe Toye. He's just the kind of friend she needs right now. He might tease her a bit, but he'll be more sympathetic than the rest, and seeing as she's more than ready to get wasted after that heart-shredding failure, he's also the best choice to walk her home—she's pretty sure it would take a whole keg to get him drunk.
"Holy shit," is the first thing he says to her when she sits down, and though she grimaces at first, he then proceeds to slide her a full, frothing beer and she's quick to forgive.
"'Evenin', Joe."
"And a helluva-n evening, it is." He grins. "So you finally did it, huh?"
"Uh, yeah, about that-"
"Took you long enough!"
"-he didn't mean it."
"What?" Joe's smile drops. "You can't be serious."
Dianne takes a long dredge, then clears her throat and leans toward her friend.
"He still. Doesn't. Get it."
"Mary, Mother of Christ." Joe runs his hand over his face. "Sorry, Sarge, but I'm starting to think this is a lost cause."
"I'll say." Dianne scoffs into her beer. "It was a lost cause when this whole thing started."
Joe half-laughs and half-sighs as if he still can't believe it.
"It's been months!"
"You're tellin' me?" Dianne sets her dwindling beer on the countertop and rolls her shoulders back gracelessly. "For a while, I thought he just might be tryin' not to hurt my feelings, but after that-" The kisses, she means. "-he's got me convinced that he's honest-to-God clueless."
"Hey-" Joe nudges her shoulder with his own. "-you're not a quitter, Dianne. Don't you start now."
"Uh-huh."
"Hey, I mean it."
They sit in silence for a moment, passing on the peanuts the bartender tries to slide their way.
"So." Joe smoothes his hand over a nub in the countertop, looking at Dianne with a worry he disguises well. "What are you gonna do?"
"I dunno." She shrugs, fighting against the sudden urge to burst into delirious giggles. "Call him stupid to his face?"
"Hell, yeah," advises a familiar voice, sidling up to them at the bar. "Somebody's bein' stupid, call 'im out on it."
Dianne and Joe share a confused look, but Bill just waves and asks, "So who's the idiot?"
As Joe bursts out laughing, Dianne groans, leaning back so far on her stool that she nearly topples over. Bill's quick enough to right her, and she grabs her beer, raising it above her head.
"A toast to the idiot," she declares, looking right at Bill, "who wouldn't recognize a girl in love if she kissed him."
Dianne turns back to Joe as she downs the rest of her drink, shaking her head, and misses the way Bill's entire expression changes with the weight of realization.
"See y'all 'round."
Dianne slips off the stool and makes for the door. Behind her, Joe's laughter peters out as he realizes Bill is doing nothing but staring after Dianne with his mouth wide open.
"Oh, for Chrissakes-"
He grabs Bill by the shoulders and manhandles him off the stool.
"-go after her, you idiot!"
"I'm the idiot," Bill says almost reverentially, then finally lurches into motion. He takes off after Dianne, but she's more than halfway across the room, and it's going to take him some time to catch up with her. He curses under his breath, feeling quite possibly the dumbest he's ever felt. Dianne, meanwhile, is pressing on blindly. She can feel the sting of rising tears, and the way her throat closes up makes it hard for her to pardon her way through the crowd. She nearly trips over the chair acting as a coat rack by the door and groans to realize her jacket is somewhere in this pile of some fifty identical ones. Fortunately, the little red bead she sewed on her nametag in the gap between the line and the curve of the 'D' catches the light as she moves, and after that, she retrieves her jacket with ease. Behind her, the dancing and drinking go on; beneath her feet, the world still spins. She pushes open the door with a heavy sigh, and the brisk, friendly air of late August soothes her a bit. She doesn't look back as she leaves, but if she had, she might have seen Bill pushing through the crowd, trying to get to her, calling her name but going unheard in the general bedlam.
Back at the bar, Joe looks between him and her, chuckling as he sips at his beer. Now that Bill's finally come to his senses, Joe knows nothing short of the ending of the world can stop him from catching up to Dianne.
"Di! Wait, Di!"
Bill has skipped the pile of jackets and come flying out the door, nearly tripping down the steps in his haste. Dianne slows, then stops, and he can see how she's sneakily trying to scrub her face with her sleeve, bowing her head as to hide her embarrassment. He's not sure he could express just how deeply sorry he is for making her feel that way—and for God knows how long—even if she asked him to. His gait slows as doubt seeps into his mind. Has he wounded her enough to lose her heart even before he knew he had it? But then she turns around, and nothing seems to matter anymore except letting her know he's never going to be the idiot again. She's stopped right in the light cast by one of the bar windows, and God, she looks pretty. Her hair is a little messy like she's been messing with it anxiously and her eyes are a little wet from the alcohol and the disappointment, and he loves her so much, it hurts.
"Di, I've never been that fuckin' stupid in my whole goddamn life."
Dianne does a double-take. This is not at all what she was expecting to hear.
"What?"
"You know I'm not good at sorry's," he laments, "but Di, I am so goddamn fuckin' sorry- You gotta believe me, sweetheart-"
Frowning, she squints at him, then rubs her eyes. This is too abrupt—she can't believe it even if she wanted to.
"Great," she sighs, "now I'm seein' things."
Bill sucks in a breath. He's a man who likes to use his words, but right now, words aren't enough. So when he runs up to her, grabs her arms to hold her still, and kisses her, he doesn't say a word. She jumps back, her eyes widening, and belatedly, she gasps.
"Holy hell, it's actually you."
"It's me," he vows, "it's me, Di. And it's always gonna be me."
"You mean it?" she asks, searching his expression, and before he's even finished guaranteeing it, she grabs his face and kisses him, hard.
"Goddamn," he sighs, grinning like a fool. "You know how hard it was for me to stop kissin' you after that third time?"
Dianne pulls one of his own moves and pouts at him. "Seemed to me like it was awful easy."
"God, sweetheart," he groans, "it couldn't've been harder."
"Tell me more."
"Can't believe it took me this goddamn long to wise up," he grumbles as he holds her close, peeved at himself. "Could'a been doin' this a whole lot longer."
He kisses her again, and when she giggles against his lips, he knows he's a goner.
"You gonna take me on a date tomorrow?" she asks, playing with his tie as she leans into him.
"'Course, I am," he promises, wrapping his hand around hers. "Expect flowers. I'm gonna make it a real, proper date."
Dianne beams and something in Bill's heart clicks into place.
"Oh, yeah?"
"Oh, yeah."
He grins, nuzzling a kiss against her cheek.
"Somethin' tells me we're long overdue."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taglist: @tvserie-s-world @thoughpoppiesblow @victoryrollsandredlips @now-im-a-belieber @50svibes @mgdln97 @tina1938 @drinkwhiskeyandsmile @ask-you-what-sir @indecisiveimpatience @whovian45810 @brokennerdalert @holdingforgeneralhugs @onlyyouexisthere
20 notes
·
View notes