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#diary of a wimpy kid imagine
moonlit-imagines · 3 months
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warnings:
a/n:
requested by anonymous
“Dude, can I tell you something? Like, serious shit.” You stopped playing your guitar as you stood in his garage at a one on one band practice. You were just in a great mood from jamming out with your best friend and thought maybe it was time to say something.
“Yeah, go for it.” Rodrick set down his drumsticks and stared at you with a goofy expression, a smile and eyes so wide you knew he was paying attention, it was obvious he cared what you had to say.
“So like, we’ve been friends since, what? Like, the second grade?” You watched Rodrick nod in agreement, waiting for your point. “I love you to death, man.” You said, which wasn’t unnatural. You guys genuinely did love each other. “It’s just like, I really love you. Like, I’ve wanted to be with you for a while, I guess. I just don’t wanna mess up all this.” You lightly strummed your guitar as a joke and his smile had barely changed. He hadn’t said anything and it was making you nervous. That attentive stare felt empty for a few moments, then he laughed out loud and your heart sank.
“Well, duh.” Rodrick stood up from his drum stool and began to walk back and forth for a moment. “I’ve wanted that since forever ago. I also didn’t wanna mess this up.” He tapped one of his drums with his finger a few times and looked over to you. “I’m down for this, always have been. Just say the word.”
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once-upon-a-fanfic · 2 years
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What if...
You were the only person to cheer for Loded Diper at Heather Hill’s sweet 16 party? Rodrick is so tickled that you had a good time that he immediately introduces himself to you.
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lexiswriter · 1 year
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i feel like the most unrealistic thing about diary of a wimpy kid is how nobody had a fat crush on rodrick.
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kausstar · 4 months
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ᯓ ✶ IT FEELS GOOD TO KNOW YOU’RE MINE ◞ rodrick heffley.
headcanon/drabble tags female reader. black reader in mind. sfw + nsfw content. swearing. different rodrick’s like perv! rodrick, virgin! rodrick, boyfriend! rodrick… all that. kissing. ꒰ was gonna write a drabble but i just kept coming up with only small drabbles sooo here they are ꒱
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boyfriend! rodrick who leaves things at your house just to have an excuse to see you. will leave things that don’t have a purpose in his day to day like a shirt or some bracelets and still come back for them.
best friend! rodrick who likes you, glares at every guy that tries to flirt with you. watches from afar as the two of you talk and will be jealous. will ask you what it was about after or not speak to you all that much (only giving you short sentences and groans until you ask what’s wrong).
pantie-stealer! perv! rodrick who’s definitely slipped a pair of your panties into his pocket when leaving your house. fully planning on fisting them onto his cock later.
boyfriend! rodrick who thinks about fucking you in the back of his van . . . a lot.
boyfriend! rodrick who’s dazed by you in every single way. your smile, your eyes, your ass, your hair— he’s completely whipped.
perv! boyfriend! rodrick who loves when you wear short shorts. watching your ass move in them makes his eyes fall out of his head. 
rodrick heffley who’s definitely an ass man but will favorite your tits sometimes.
boyfriend! rodrick who does his own eyeliner but loves when you compliment him.
boyfriend! rodrick’s mom who literally adores you. enjoys seeing her son so happy.
boyfriend! rodrick who loves to make out with you while you sit on his lap. will rest his hands at your waist and not move them or will wrap his arms around your waist to pull you closer.
boyfriend! rodrick who will say yes to anything you ask if you give him that pretty smile and doe eyes.
boyfriend! rodrick’s mom who takes pictures of the two of you in the embarrassing mom way and will keep them.
“aww, you two look so cute. come here, come here. let me take a picture.”
boyfriend! rodrick who acts so big and bad but will lay on your chest and let you play in his hair, going as far as going to sleep on you.
crush! rodrick who makes plans to hang out with you most of the summer.
boyfriend! rodrick who likes when you wear his shirts. especially his bands shirts. won’t get you one of your own though because he wants you to wear his.
perv! boyfriend! rodrick who watches you change when you’re in his room sometimes. says he won’t look but he always end up taking a peak. can’t help it.
rodrick heffley with a sweet girlfriend who loves how friendly and supportive you are, but absolutely hates how so many guys are pulled in by your personality. you’re intentions being so much different than theirs.
boyfriend! rodrick who does stupid things to impress you.
boyfriend! rodrick who looks at you with doe eyes every time you speak. listens to you even when you’re talking about complete nonsense.
virgin! boyfriend! rodrick who supposedly knows all about what girls like but has absolutely no experience with kissing and will stutter up a storm when you first ask for one.
boyfriend! rodrick who will buy things that he doesn’t need but you do. for example, him getting a mirror in his room just for you to look at yourself in so you don’t have to go to the bathroom.
boyfriend! rodrick who will listen to your music, and will secretly listen to it over and over even if it’s not his normal taste.
virgin! perv! boyfriend! rodrick who likes when you roll your hips onto him when you’re on his lap. the thin fabric of your panties and his boxers the only thing stopping the two of you from being skin to skin.
boyfriend! rodrick who rubs your relationship in greg’s face. always grinning from ear to ear when you do something sweet for him in front of him.
boyfriend! rodrick who doesn’t really do too much PDA. only wrapping his arm around your waist and maybe some forehead kisses.
boyfriend! rodrick who likes when you kiss him on the cheek when you’re leaving but adores when you give him a kiss and you’re lipgloss/chapstick lingers on his lips.
boyfriend! rodrick biggest excuse nowadays being “can’t. girlfriend’s coming over” with the biggest grin.
crush! rodrick who doesn’t know how to flirt at all. always awkwardly smiling, making stupid jokes and saying the “wrong” things.
boyfriend! rodrick band mates who call him whipped all the time.
crush! rodrick who’s so positive he will get your number he brags about having you wrapped around his finger already, but will get your number and get excited about every interacting with you. small and big.
boyfriend! rodrick who holds the door for you then will let it shut completely on greg’s face.
boyfriend! rodrick who gets caught up with the band and has to be pulled away from them so you can spend time together.
virgin! boyfriend! rodrick who doesn’t know how big he is until you’re whining at him that he’s really deep.
boyfriend! rodrick gets rid of his dirty magazines from up under his bed to fill a shoe box with pictures of you. the pictures being of what you expect and he has to hide them the best he can because of greg’s snooping.
boyfriend! rodrick who likes surprises and gifts. especially if you made them yourself and he can wear it for everyone to see.
boyfriend! rodrick who tries to be as close as possible to you during the summer. with you short shorts, small shirts and bathing suits guys are bound to be howling at your feet.
crush! rodrick who enjoys halloween and seeing you at parties. eyes glued on you the entire night.
boyfriend! rodrick who’s gotten in trouble more than three times for how loud the two of you are.
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 2023 kausstar.
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queerpumpkinnn · 7 months
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Kinktober 5th: Goldmine
aka hair pulling with Rodrick Heffley
2k words
Summary: Rod learns something new.
Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x reader
Warnings: hair pulling obviously, choking, vaginal fingering, unprotected piv sex (don't do this at home kids), smoking, thigh riding, lots of hickeys/biting, scratching, lots of sweet praise but it's also kinda condescending, this is just porn with very minimal plot, let me know if I missed anything!
While reading, I recommend you listen to the altar is my hips - a Spotify playlist by me!
~
"Y'think I should get a leather jacket?"
Your shoulders shook under the weight of Rodrick's arm as you chuckled. "Why, you get an idea for a costume?"
"Absolutely. Even got the name for it." You could see the familiar smirk he wore even as your eyes remained on the screen. Smoke billowed in your peripheral, the smell of his near-finished cigarette long since clung to your clothes.
"It'd be a cute couples costume too," he continued, "you could be Tina Gray."
You turned to look at him. "Oh could I now?"
"Yup." He grinned as he put his cigarette out. "You've got the bedroom personality for it too."
You swung a pillow at his face, but Rodrick easily caught it and tossed it behind him. You huffed in false annoyance, falling back into your spot curled up under his arm.
His hand fell absentmindedly to your hair, gently twirling strands around his finger. The sensation makes your eyelids heavy, getting sleepy as he continued to soothe you.
Until you felt a sharp tug. Your eyes flew open, and you audibly gasped. Your entire body froze, and you curse yourself when Rodrick turns his head. A soft "oh?" leaves his lips, which are curled up into a curious smile. It had only been playful tug, but that was before he knew you'd react like that.
"That's not how you do it," you breathe, ghost of a grin teasing your lips.
"Yeah?" His voice was a condescending lilt. "How d'you do it?"
Instead of speaking, you take hold of his wrist, pushing it towards the back of your head. His fingers thread into your roots and he takes a fistful, tugging slowly. Your eyes flutter shut and your lips part in a deep sigh.
Before your eyes close, you catch a glimpse of your boyfriend's reaction. His eyes are wide and full of amusement, and he's smirking incredulously. His brows raise, and you can see the gears turning in his brain.
"That's interesting," Rodrick mumbled, almost more to himself. "I wonder..."
He climbs up over you, legs caging in on either side of your hips. His foot kicks the TV remote onto the floor but Elm Street is long forgotten. His hold on your hair returns, the tingling in your scalp pulling a weak noise from your throat.
"Now, what would happen..." Rodrick's thought trails off as his fingers ghost over your throat, touch only featherlight until the pads of his fingers find your pulse points and press. Your breathing is shaky and your vision begins to blur, but your hands still fly to his shoulders. You might have even been a little embarrassed at how your hooded eyes began to cross if not for the fact that it just felt so good.
"Aw, y'like that?" Rodrick lilts, his face pulling closer to yours. Heat creeps up your neck.
"Y-yeah," you attempt to nod, but you aren't given much room for movement.
"I like that too, baby." He murmurs against your mouth before he kisses you slowly, tasting of nicotine and gum. They were gentle, teasing kisses, but quickly gave way to a more desperate rhythm as his tongue glided over your lower lip. He hummed a deep note when you let him in, when you whimpered as he started sucking on your tongue.
You let out a disappointed noise when Rodrick lets go of you, rolling back to sit but it's forgotten when he pats his thigh. You quickly oblige, skin heated and brain frazzled.
As soon as you're sat on his leg, the friction to your clit has you gasping into his mouth. Almost involuntarily, your hips began to roll against him, so slowly but enough to make your head swim and heat boil in your gut.
"Oh, sweetness," Rodrick murmurs in between kisses, "so needy already? I've barely done anything."
He knows he doesn't need to do much. Just a few words- or a tug of the hair- and you'd be turned into a pile of mush. He knows you too well, and he loves having that effect over you.
Even though he's teasing you, you can't be bothered to care, muttering an mhm and rutting your hips faster. Your hands fall from his shoulders to his chest, then trail to his thigh to ground yourself.
"Atta girl, keep goin'." Rodrick murmurs in your ear, licking a stripe down the shell of it, planting soft kisses wherever his lips wandered. "'M right here baby, that's it, yeah, good girl."
Rodrick's encouragement was sweet honey to your ear, and a sickening contrast to the hand that hand re-found purchase at your scalp, tilting your head back so that he could teethe at your neck, soft plucks of skin turning into bruising. Deft hands made work of your top, leaving your chest bare.
Your rutting became increasingly frustrated; your thighs burned and you weren't getting any closer to your high.
"Rod... need..." your words were mumbled and breathless, and your brain was too cloudy to be fully coherent anyway.
"Hm? Couldn't hear you, bunny, say that one more time?"
"Need more," you cried, hands pushing into Rodrick's hair when his tongue laved over your nipple.
"More what, baby?" He lilted, cupping and pinching your other tit lovingly. He groaned when your fingers clutched his hair tighter.
"Need you, Rod please..." you sighed, tugging at his wrist.
Rodrick chuckled. "Baby, I don't think I can do that. Might hurt you if I don't get you nice and prepped, yeah? How about we start with fingers?"
"Anything, please," you babbled, nestling your head into the crook of his shoulder.
"Alright, alright, I got ya. Let's get these off, hm?" He tugged at the belt loop of your pants. They were off in record time, along with your underwear, leaving your entire body bared to him. You felt naked, more than just literally.
Once you were situated on his lap again you tried pulling on the hem of his shirt. "Off," you mumbled. Happily he complied, and you took the opportunity to lean forward and plant loving kisses to his neck, his collarbone.
You didn't realize when you'd risen up off your behind that it gave Rodrick the space to slip a hand between your legs, pulling a squeak out of you, muffled against his jaw.
"Aw, so messy baby. A little hair pulling did all this?"
You knew that it was a few other things, but you were so far gone you gave him a whiny 'yeah' anyway. Rodrick's fingers massaged your entrance, gathering slick and smothering it around your clit, making obscene noises- probably on purpose.
"So fuckin' wet, sweet, y'hear that?" Rodrick presses kisses to your pulse point, up to your jaw, then kisses you deep. Swallowing your moans into his mouth as the kiss turns messy.
"Please, Rod..." you're breathless and your pleas are barely coherent, but Rodrick knows exactly what you're asking for. You keel when you feel a finger glide into you, curling up towards your stomach.
"Yeah, good fuckin' girl." Rodrick's grin widens at your reaction when a second finger joins the first. "Always so eager, hm? That's my girl."
"Yeah, 'm your girl," you pant, hips canting to meet his hand.
"That's right," he coos, thumb tracing wide circles over your clit. "So proud of you, my girl."
"Rod," you whine, "need you."
"Hm?" He hums between nips to your collarbone. "You have me."
You shake your head vigorously. "Need you inside."
This gets Rodrick's attention. His fingers slow, while his free hand moves from your hair to his pants. He makes quick work of his pants, pulling his half-hard cock out from his boxers. You watch as he takes his fingers, soaked from your cunt, and wrap them around himself, stroking slowly. His head falls back against the couch, lips hanging open and you feel the sudden urge to bite them.
Before you get the chance, however, Rodrick is pulling you forward, lining himself up to take you. Slowly, so slowly, he runs the tip of his cock through your folds, smearing your slick around. You jerk when his head catches on your clit, sending electricity shooting up your spine.
"Rod..." you whine against his neck, "please."
"Please what?" You want to slap him for the knowing glint in his eye, but that was for another day.
"Please fuck me."
And who was he to deny you? Guiding your hip, Rodrick eased you down on him, guiding you but letting you set your own pace. The stretch set your loins on fire, but it was heaven.
Your head kicked back, and you let your voice have a mind of its own as you sunk down on him. Long and pornographic, and Rodrick matched it. You felt him throb inside of you.
"Fuck, sound so pretty." Rodrick started rolling his hips into you, and you cried out at the sensation. "Yeah, that's it. Moan like a fuckin' whore for me, c'mon."
And who were you to deny him? You had the house to yourself, and the name alone sent your brain into overdrive. He filled you up so nicely, and the drag of his cock inside of you made your skin tingle with delight.
"Rod, yeah, oh- just like that, ohmygod-" your voice was caught in your throat when Rodrick, with the usual knowing twinkle in his eye, takes a fistful of hair and tugs you forward into a sloppy kiss.
All of the sensations- that Rodrick was giving you- were sending you closer and closer to tumbling headfirst off of that ledge. The sting in your scalp, his tongue sliding against yours, the sounds of wet slaps and your combined moans. The smell of cigarettes and the heat of his skin under your fingers. The head of his cock piledriving into your cervix again and again and again.
"Rod I- oh god, I'm gonna- oh, so close- Rod please," you pant into his mouth, fingers raking down his chest and leaving faint red lines in their wake.
"I gotcha," he grunts, hand snaking between your bodies to press circles over your clit. You can hear it in his voice that he's holding back. You don't want him to. "That's it, baby, come for me. Make a mess on my cock, c'mon."
That extra pleasure is all it takes to have you diving headfirst into a mind-numbing orgasm. Your eyes screw shut, and all you can feel is Rodrick. Shaky hands rest on his shoulders, holding on for dear life as hot pleasure courses through you.
You're acutely aware of the hot spurts hitting your cervix, and the fluids seeping out of you, but your body is still tingling all over. Your voice has long since become scratchy, but that doesn't stop you from whimpering and crying as he coaxes you through it.
"Good girl, did so good for me, yeah?" His grip on your hair is no longer a grip, but gentle, soothing strokes, almost as if to apologize.
You hummed, dropping your forehead against his shoulder as you breathe. The smell of sex had permeated the air around you, and you were suddenly very aware of how sweaty you'd become.
"Think we need a shower, baby, c'mon." Rodrick nudged your head.
You wanted to, you felt sticky, but your body was on fire, this time with a less-than-pleasurable ache. Begrudgingly, you lifted yourself off of his now soft dick, hobbling down to reach for your clothes and then to the nearest bathroom.
The shower was peaceful, and the water was soothing on your muscles. You both worked in a comfortable silence.
"Well, I was right." Rodrick finally said.
"About what, the hair pulling?"
"Nope."
You turned around to face him, head tilted in confusion. His mouth was curled upwards and his eyes were lifted in a smile.
"You do have the bedroom personality of Tina Gray."
~
Rodrick Heffley Masterlist
Kinktober 2023 Masterlist
Miscellaneous Characters List
Main Masterlist
~
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turvi · 10 months
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Ypu said you wanna write for rodrick and I wanna request.
So rodrick with a good girl neighbour reader (think- gwen stacy type) and rodrick does all kinda stuff to impress her even at school so yea.
I'm a sucker for goofy! Himbo! Rodrick
Thank you for the request. I hope you enjoy this
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"BOYS! OUR NEW NEIGHBOURS ARE HERE!" Susan yelled and huffed when none of the boys responded to her call. Greg was busy filming Rowley trying to fall from his chair. Rodrick was in the basement and didn't hear his mam call out to him as he was drowned in the sounds of his drums.
A few minutes later, Rodrick finally comes up to drink water, only to see the new neighbours...most importantly, their daughter.
Rodrick didn't realise he had dropped his drumsticks on the floor until his mother was tugging him towards the living room and introduced him to the neighbours, the L/ns. And there she was with a sweet, gentle smile telling him her name.
"Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Y/n," she said, offering her hand.
Rodrick held her hand, not wanting to let go, but he had to since both his and her parents were watching them. "I-uh...I am Rodrick."
He scowled when he heard Greg snickering behind him. He wanted to hide so badly just because he couldn't tell his name to a pretty girl. But she doesn't laugh at him. She squeezed his hand, letting him know it was ok.
It was, at this moment, he wondered if it was too soon to ask her to marry him? He shook his head. He was being silly. Just because a girl was nice to him doesn't mean he should fall in love with her.
Then two days later, he heard knocking on the garage door. He sighed, thinking it was one of the upright elder people wanting him to keep the voice low. When he opened the garage door, he almost let it go when he saw Y/n standing there, the harsh sunlight pouring down his lawn.
He quickly let her in and introduced her to his bandmates, who were just beaming at the sight of Rodrick being awkward and shy around her.
"Hey, I was just walking by and heard you guys play. I was wondering if you could teach me how to play drums. I already talked to your mom."
His friend patted his shoulder. "Rodrick is our drummer. He is a great teacher too, he can teach you. Right, Rodrick?"
Rodrick got out of his daze when he heard his name. "Uh...yeah...yeah...I drum...drums" It was like he never learnt English in school, and Rodrick hated how he sounded.
"Ok, tell me when you are free. I'll come."
"Actually, we are leaving, so you guys can continue. It was nice meeting you." his friend winked at him, leaving the two alone. Rodrick knew he couldn't do much but look at her knowing his mom was peeping through the basement door. But he was just happy seeing her and talking to her.
He was happy they were bonding. He would teach her to play the drums. She would spellcheck his assignments. Rodrick knew she had a place in his heart when she would gently correct his spellings.
Slowly he loved holding her hands, her smile, her nose scrunch, the way she snorted before she laughed, and her soft sweaters that always smelled nice.
He didn't realise when he fell in love, or was he always in love? When he would go shopping with his family, he would spot things that he knew Y/n might like. He even saw a jewellery shop, and his heart dropped looking at the prices of the rings. But then, he had yet to win her heart. He was determined to buy this ring.
Of course, by the time he would be rich enough to buy the ring, he would already have your heart. But Rodrick didn't know he already had Y/n's heart, and she knew it was always going to be his.
@milivanili99 @cecekcecekceckceckceck @maneskai @isaentremundos @autumn3l3ctr0swings @mikulovingtrash
A/N: If you like this REBLOG AND COMMENT
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itsmarsss · 3 months
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cool. [Rodrick Heffley x fem!Reader] (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
(from the vault)
You start working as a babysitter for the Heffleys, but a certain someone seems to be bugging his parents to go out more often. Why?
Words: 6,164
Warnings: like one slight sexual/porn innuendo
[. . .]
"What do you mean someone to watch me?” Greg yelled, exhasperated.
Rodrick laughed out loud at the whole situation. “Wait is little Greg here getting a babysitter?”
“Yes, and she starts tomorrow night," their mom replied, matter-of-factly.
“Mom, I’m in seventh grade! I don’t need a babysitter!”
“We’d believe it if the last time we left the two of you alone you hadn’t directly disobeyed the only thing we told you not to do and thrown a party while we were gone," their dad explained.
“Wait. Mom. So I don’t have to watch him? Like ever again?”
“No but you should be ashamed of the reason why-”
“Hell yeah!”
“Rodrick-” He was already up the stairs on the way to his room. She sighed. 
“Mom you can’t do this to me. Do you know how bad it'll be if the guys in my grade find out you got me a babysitter?”
“They’re not gonna find out, sweetie.” She patted his head.
“And it’s not negotiable.”
“What your dad said.”
"Dad!”
“I’m sorry, kid! But if it makes you feel better, since Rodrick will be here and we’re getting a babysitter because we can’t leave the two of you alone, she’s teeechnically his babysitter too, right?”
“It doesn’t make me feel better.”
“I tried," he shrugged.
“Where are you two even going tomorrow?”
“We’re having dinner! " Susan exclaimed, excited to talk about it. "Alone, finally, because-”
“Wait couldn't she technically be Manny’s babysitter then?”
“Thank you for caring so much about what I had to say, son.” She sighed once again. “She’s not Manny’s babysitter because Manny’s gonna stay with your grandma.”
Greg huffed and made a point to be extremely loud when stumping upstairs to his room, immediately getting cornered by Rodrick. 
“So… a babysitter, huh? And I thought your seventh grade couldn’t get any worse.”
“D´you think it’ll be that bad?”
“Dude they probably got you an old lady who smells like a museum whos gonna make you eat soup at like five PM and sleep at seven.”
Greg widened his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, worried at the thought of what his brother was making him imagine. “You think?”
“Yup. And I’m not even talking about the total humiliation it's gonna be if someone your age finds out.”
“Crap.”
“Good luck with that.” Rodrick was obviously enjoying the mere thought of the torture that was going to follow.
. . .
“A babysitter?” Rowley asked, rather loudly. Greg quickly put his hand over his best friend's mouth. 
“Dude! Can you be quiet?”
“Hmmph!” Rowley tried to protest.
Greg released his hand from over his mouth. “Sorry.”
“Why do I need to be quiet?”
“Because I don’t want anybody to know!”
“Why?”
“Because it’s embarrassing, Rowley!”
Rowley just shrugged. “I wouldn’t be embarrassed. A babysitter sounds fun! Maybe she’ll read you bedtime stories! And play board games with you!”
Greg just looked at him incredulously. “Just don’t say anything about this to anyone., okay?"
Rowley suddenly started to look really nervous. “You know I can’t lie…”
“It’s not lying! It’s just not mentioning it! No one’s gonna ask about it.”
“Okay. Fine.” He didn't seem that sure about it, but Greg knew he'd try his best.
. . .
You took in a sharp breath before knocking on the front door. It took no time for it to be sprung open, and you were greeted by a smiling Mrs. Heffley. You retributed the smile. 
“Hi Mrs. Heffley!”
“Hey, sweetie! How are you?” She asked as she ushered you into the house, startling you when she closed the door behind you as you walked in. 
“I’m alright! How about you guys? Your dress looks so pretty!”
“Oh my God, thank you! You know it’s been ages since I’ve worn a pretty dress to go out, you can’t trust three kids with a pretty dress, they're always gonna ruin it.”
“Oh God that must be hell,” you laughed along with her. “Where are you guys headed tonight?”
“Looking forward to having dinner in peace,” she laughed again. “Manny!” she yelled suddenly, startling you yet again.
A little boy walked in in his diapers, holding his pants up with both hands. 
“Manny can you just please put on your pants?” Mr. Heffley followed the kid around, frustratedly asking him for what you assumed must have been at leat a fourth time to put his pants on, judging by the tone in his voice and the sigh that accompanied it.
“No!”
“Manny!” Ms. Heffley yelled yet again. The kid did what he was supposed to.
“Um I didn’t- is Manny gonna be staying with me tonight?”
“No! No,” she laughed. “Don’t worry, we’re taking him to my mother’s house.”
“Oh, right. Okay.” You tried to let out how relieved you were. Little kids were a whole other level of difficult, specially at Manny's age.
“Darling are you ready?” Susan asked her husband.
“Yeah! Yeah.”
“Greg!” she yelled again.
“What?” The boy yelled back from his room upstairs. 
“Y/n’s here! Come say hi!”
“Who’s y/n?”
“Your babysitter!”
He came downstairs. Very slowly. “Mom I already-” He stopped.  “You’re not an old lady!"
“Gregory! We don't say that to people! What is that about?"
“I’m sorry! I meant- Rodrick told me my babysitter was gonna be an old lady who smelled like a museum."
"Of course he did," Mr. Heffley said, under his breath.
You pretended to smell yourself. “I think I might smell more like an art gallery maybe,” you joked.
“I’m so sorry about this."
“It’s fine, Mrs. Heffley! Don’t worry about it. Now you two go have some fun, alright? Come on."
“Yeah! Okay. Right. There’s money on the table, you can order whatever you want for dinner the kids will eat whatever. Just grab the money before Rodrick comes downstairs or he's gonna pocket it. If you need anything you can call, okay? Really, anything.”
“Don’t worry about it! I promise I’ll call if anything happens! But I think we’re just gonna stay and eat some food and watch some movies, right Greg?”
“Uh, yeah. I guess.”
“Please be nice, Greg. Oh and if Rodrick bothers you tell him I said he’ll be grounded if I hear he's not letting you work alright?"
“Sure thing! Thank you. Now go!” You joked, pretending to send them off.
. . .
You and Greg had both sat down on the couch in the living room.
“So. You’re not an old lady.”
“Nope.”
“Are you in high school?”
“Yes I am.”
“What grade are you in?"
“I’m a senior!”
“Oh. Rodrick’s a senior too.”
“Cool! I don’t think I’ve seen him around though.”
“Lucky.”
“Why’s that?”
“He makes my life hell!”
“Well don’t you make his life hell at least a tiny little bit?”
“Maybe a little bit.”
“That’s just your job.”
“Trust me no girls like him.”
“Whatever, Heffley. So what do you wanna do?”
“Can we play video games?”
“Depends on what you have.”
“Apocalypse of The Damned?”
“I have never heard of that in my entire life.”
“You’re gonna like it I swear!”
“Alright. But you have to bring me the money your mom left on the table, I’m gonna order us some pizza.”
“Deal!” He ran out to the kitchen, getting back with the money in no time.
. . .
“Hey I was thinking. Can my friend sleep over?” Greg asked, obviously having been preparing himself to do so for the past few minutes, while furiously hitting buttons on his controller as you scrolled through your phone, having gotten tired of playing at that point. 
“Um. Is your friend gonna give me any trouble?”
“No! You can- you can trust us.”
“Is he annoying?”
He seemed to take his time to think of an answer. “A little. But he’s pretty cool.”
“Fine, I’ll ask your mom.”
You clicked on Mrs. Heffley’s contact name. 
hi mrs heffley
how's the date going? im sorry to interrupt
You didn't even have the time to finish writing the next text before she was calling you. You picked it up.
“Is everything okay?” Susan asked, clearly worried.
“Oh, yes. Everything’s fine, you don't have to worry! I’m so sorry to interrupt your date, Greg wanted a friend to stay over and I just wanted to see if that’s okay with you.”
“Is it Rowley?”
“Sorry?”
“The friend, is it Rowley?”
“Is it Rowley?” You asked Greg, leaning away from the phone, to which he just nodded his head yes. “Yeah, Rowley.”
“Okay, of course he can! And don’t worry, I’ll pay you extra for it.”
“Oh, that’s really nice, thank you. Now you should go back to your date, I'm so sorry to bother.”
“No worries! Are you sure everything’s fine?”
“Yes! We ordered pizza and we’re playing video games right now. Everything under control.”
“And Rodrick?”
“Uh, I haven’t really seen him honestly. He definitely hasn’t left his room though.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“Bye!” You hung up.
“So?”
“Yeah, call your friend. Ask him if he has any board games we can play!”
Greg did as you said, and, in about half an hour, a little boy with a yellow shirt with a dog on it stood at the door.
“Are you Greg’s babysitter?’
“Uh yeah, I am.”
“Cool!" He looked at Greg behind you. "You told me she was old!”
“Rowley!”
“What? You did!”
You laughed at the interaction and let them do their thing, only asking them to stay by the living room so you could keep an eye on them. You sat on the couch, scrolling through your phone again as you knew the pizza should be about to get there.
The doorbell rang in no time. You stood up to pay for it, grabbing the large-size pizza and tipping the delivery guy, who didn’t look very friendly at all. You brought it in. “Hey Greg can you go call your brother?”
“Yeah!”
He ran up the stairs, and you set the box down on the dining table, Rowley sitting down. Greg came back.
“He told me to bring it to him.”
“Why?"
"He just doesn't wanna come downstairs."
"You don't have to do it.”
“What? He’s gonna beat me up for it!”
“Not with me here. I got you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Chill out.”
. . .
“Hey you little asshole? I told you to bring my pizza!” A voice exclaimed from the second floor, and Greg muffled a quiet ‘shit’.
“Hey don’t say that!” You scolded Greg for swearing as a reflex.
“Hey? Are you not listening?” Rodrick was clearly close to the kitchen now. He walked through the door. “I said get me so-” he stopped dead on his tracks when he saw you.
“Who’s this?” He asked the boys.
“That’s Y/N,” Rowley said, through gulps.
"And I'm right here you know? You could just ask me who I am."
“Well who are you? And what are you doing… here?” He leaned over the wall, in a poor attempt to look cool. You had to fight yourself tas not to laugh uncontrollably at the sight.
“Well I seem to be your babysitter for the night.”
“What?”
“Did you also expect an old lady? You know, that's a really common and really hurtful babysitter stereotype, you really should think about the things you say now.”
“Wha- huh- yeah- I’ll just-” He let out a weird laugh, and walked up to the table, grabbing himself a slice of pizza and stuffing it into his mouth, seemingly to shut himself up.
“Well we’re gonna watch a movie after we’re done eating. You wanna join?”
“Oh he’s not gonna-” Greg started talking, but Rodrick quickly interrupted him, almost choking on his food as he did so.
“Yeah! Yeah! What are we uh- what are we watching?”
“Zathura.”
“What the fuck is Zathura?”
“Don’t swear in front of them!”
“Sorry.”
Greg looked at Rowley like Rodrick had just gone insane. Did he just apologize?
You laughed. “I’m kidding. You guys don’t mind, do you?”
They both slowly nodded their head no. 
“Cool. As long as you don’t repeat it in front of your parents, alright? Don’t wanna get me in trouble.”
“We’re not five!"
“Well you do look like it,” Rodrick commented, and Greg stuck his tongue out at him.
. . .
“This movie doesn’t make any sense,” Rodrick commented, pointing at the screen.
“It’s not supposed to! It’s a kids movie about a magical board game,” you pointed out.
“Let me guess, did Rowley pick this one?”
“For your information, I did. You got a problem?”
“No.”
Rowley had, in fact, picked this one.
Greg and Rowley shared a look again. This was getting bizzarre.
The movie was over in about half an hour, and it was time for you to put Greg to sleep.
“But it’s so early!” The boy complained, and you laughed.
“I know, but you don’t have to sleep now, you just gotta go to bed! I can’t, like, force you to sleep.”
He let out an annoyed groan before agreeing and pulling Rowley with him by the wrist. “Fine.”
“I’ll be upstairs in a few!” You yelled out, and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes from dinner. It wasn’t really something Mrs. Heffley had explicitly asked you to do, but you had those extra minutes and wanted to get on her good side. 
What you didn’t expect was to come in to find Rodrick still standing there, startling himself when you walked in.
“Uh hey!” His voice was high-pitched, clearly not expecting to see you there so soon.
“Hey.” You wordlessly walked to the sink, starting with the dishes. And then he offered to help you, which didn’t fit the image you had of him at all.
“What?”
“I said do you want some help? I can dry them.”
“Uh sure. Thanks.”
He just nodded, grabbing a cloth. “So did you put them to sleep yet?”
“Yeah they’re supposed to call me when they’re ready. Then I’m pretty much done.”
“Are you leaving like right after?” Was he… disappointed?
“Well not right after, your mom still has to pay me.”
“Right. She paying you extra for the dishes?”
“No,” you laughed, “just wanna score some points. This job’s good money, you know? But don’t tell her I said that.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
You nodded, a little awkwardly. “So what’s the deal with the van?”
“What?”
“The huge white van parked right outside? I assume it’s not your mom’s.”
“Yeah.”
“Couldn’t you have picked a better color?”
“What?”
“You know something other than the classic creepy white van?”
He actually laughed. “I don’t think a creep would have ‘löded diper’ written on the door.”
“Maybe you’re just trying not to look too suspicious.”
“Wouldn’t you like to find out?” Was he… flirting? Well, that was… an attempt.
“What, are you inviting me? You know, I was taught not to get into creepy white vans with strangers.”
“We’re not strangers!” He held his hand up for you to shake, which you did. “I’m Rodrick.”
“Y/N.”
“So. Ho'wd you end up babysitting Greg out of all people?”
“I mean, your dad posted something about it in the newspaper and my mom told me about it. Some extra money, you know?”
“And you’re sure it’s worth it? I mean he’s a big pain in the ass.”
“Aren’t all brothers?”
“I’m not.”
“Right. You’re like a dictator to him!”
“No I’m not!”
“He was scared you were gonna beat him up if he didn’t bring you pizza.”
“He’s dumb. I wasn’t gonna beat him up that badly.”
You laughed. “Well, we’re done. Thank you for the help. You can go now if you wanna.”
“You sound like a mom.”
“Oh my god! Stop trying to make me sound old! I'm some granny cinderella who turns into an old lady who smells like a museum when midnight strikes," you teased him, and he scrunched up his nose in embarrassment.
"Right. He told you about that.”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry. To be fair, I never had a babysitter, you know? I just thought they were all old and boring.”
“Do you think I’m old and boring?” You joked.
He snorted. “No, you’re pretty.” His eyes widened, realizing what he’d just said. Way to go. “Not in that- well not that you’re not pretty, you are, but you know what I mean. You’re uh- you’re pretty compared to what I- expected?"
It was stupid, but you could feel yourself blush a little. Why was it that you always fell for the most absolute idiots? “So I’m pretty… compared to an old woman.”
“I think you should let me start over.”
“But-”
“Y/N!” You heard Greg yell from upstairs, and you left the kitchen to go see him, going up the stairs and entering his room.
“Okay, we ready?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you brush your teeth?”
“Yes!”
“Both of you?”
“Yup.”
“Okay I’ll believe you. But your mom told me you’re on thin ice.”
Greg rolled his eyes and both boys got on the bed. 
“Okay, goodnight. If you don’t sleep right away don’t make too much noise.”
“Are you coming over tomorrow?”
“Why, did you actually like me?”
“Just a little.”
You smiled. “Well no. But I think I might next week.”
“Cool! ‘Night, Y/N!” 
“‘Night!”. You closed the door behind you, and walked downstairs to wait for Mrs. and Mr. Heffley to return so you could go home. 
You stopped on the hallway to send your mom a quick text saying you were fine and should be leaving in a few before making your way to the living room.
To your surprise, Rodrick hadn’t gotten back to his room. Instead, he was laying on the couch, his entire body draped over it as he scrolled through his phone. He sat right up when he saw you. “Hey Y/N.”
“Hey. You not have anything to do?”
“I’m offended. But no I don’t.”
You laugh, sitting down beside him. “Okay. Well your parents must be on their way, so. Don’t have much to do either.”
“You wanna watch something?”
“What do you have in mind?”
“Well a real movie.”
“Zathura’s a real movie! I like it!”
“You actually do?”
“Yes!”
“Whatever. Well an adult movie I mean.”
“Uh, an adult movie?”
“No! Not that kind!” He was blushing furiously and you found it hilarious. 
“Yeah whatever. What do you have?”
You ended up settling on a Marvel movie, but you barely had the time to start it before the doorbell rang, and you had to go get the door.
“Hey Y/N! I’m sorry we took so long, we had to go get Manny.”
“That’s fine! Rodrick and I were just about to watch a movie!”
“Rodrick came downstairs?” Mr. Heffley sounded genuinely surprised.
“Well you can finish it if you want!”
“Oh, no, I really should get going. We can finish it another time.”
“Oh well. Okay.” She put Manny down and grabbed her wallet, handing you your money. “Here, with the extra from Rowley. Hope they didn’t cause too much trouble.”
“Oh they were so cool! I was surprised.”
“Oh that’s great to hear! If they haven’t traumatized you too much we’d love to have you sit them again.”
“Oh definitely! Just give me a call.”
“Thank you, Y/N. Are you driving home?”
“Oh, no, I’m actually walking. I thought we’d be done a little earlier.”
“Oh that’s not good, we can take you-”
“I can take her!” Rodrick yelled, almost falling off of the couch in his eagerness. He stood up, walking toward you. His dad looked like he was short-circuiting.
“Are you sure?” His mom asked.
“Yeah! Come on, let’s go.” He walked quickly past the front door and into the white van.
“Sure. Bye Mrs. Heffley!”
“Bye sweetie! Tell me if he bothers you too much!”
You walked towards the van, getting in on the passenger’s seat. He turned the engine on in silence. There was an awkward atmosphere surrounding you, and you didn’t know why.
You cleared your throat. “So uh. Thanks for driving me.”
“Yeah it’s chill. Where do I turn?”
“Oh let me just- give me your phone.”
“What?”
“So I can put the address on the GPS?”
“Oh. Sure.” He handed it to you after unlocking it, and you did as you said. 
“Turn left in 200 feet,” the disembodied voice said, and he did.
“You don’t have to uh- do these things for me. You know, drive me home, help me with the dishes. It’s nice, but I’m not gonna tell on you if you don’t.”
“I know. I uh. I want to.”
“You wanna do the dishes?”
“I wanna help you.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “Dunno.”
“Fine.”
You got home pretty quickly, as you didn’t live a long way from the Heffley residence, and got out of the car. 
“Thank you for driving me! Goodnight.”
“Yeah!” Rodrick yelled back, and waited for you to get in to drive off. There was a smile on your lips you couldn’t shake off, and you felt stupid for it. Was the weird wannabe rock band kid really having an effect on you?
. . .
On wednesday, you got a call from Ms. Heffley again. And then on friday, and saturday, and sunday. This could not be normal, right? But it was money, so you obviously wouldn’t refuse it. So you pulled up to the Heffley residence for the fifth time on sunday, knocking on the door as usual.
Greg opened it this time, greeting you with a confused expression. “You’re here again?”
“Miss me, kid?”
“Are they going out again?”
“Apparently.”
“Mom, Y/N’s here!”
“Oh hey sweetie! Thank you for coming!”
“No problem! Where are you off to today?”
“Well we’re going bowling. Rodrick found us these pamphlets at the mall and wouldn’t stop bugging us about trying it out, so we decided to give it a go.”
“Oh he did?” That was strange.
“And you seem to have things so under control! I can’t believe we’ve been going out so much!”
“Well I’m happy to hear it. When will you be back?”
“I’d say eleven if that’s not too late for you?”
“Oh definitely not! As long as Rodrick can drive me.”
“Oh that won’t be a problem. You ready, darling?” She asked her husband, who walked by holding Manny in one arm and a huge bag in the other. 
“Yeah.”
"Everything there?” Susan asked him, referring to the bag. She turned back to you. “Manny’s staying over at my mom’s for the first time today. Isn’t that exciting?”
“Yeah!" You exclaimed, not really getting all the excitement about it. You supposed you would if you were his mom. Right now you were just happy you didn’t have to watch over him too. Little kids were always more difficult. 
“Okay bye everyone!”
Greg and Rodrick were right behind you the moment you closed the door.
“Can we make pasta?’ Greg asked, and damn, the little dude must have had some sugar because he looked like he’d downed like three energy drinks at once.
“Well yeah. I make a killer pasta. Is Rowley coming today?”
“Yeah!”
“Cool.”
“Do you want help with the food?” Rodrick finally spoke up, and Greg looked at him like he was speaking Greek.
“Sure.”
“Are you okay?’ Greg couldn’t contain himself from asking him.
“What do you mean, assface?”
“Did you just offer to help with the food?”
“Yeah?”
“Who are you?”
“Oh shut it, dickhead.” You didn’t miss the nervous glance he gave you, clearly signaling something about you to Greg. And then Greg seemed to figure something out, his eyes going wide.
“Oh! Is that why you-” Rodrick looked alarmed, putting his hand against Greg’s mouth to keep him from talking, but he managed to get himself free. “Is that why you’ve been trying to get mom and dad to go out all week?”
“Hah. Don’t know what he’s talking about, pssht.” Rodrick laughed nervously.
“Uh sure. Well I’m already hungry so I’m thinking early dinner and then we can make dessert?”
“Yes!” Greg yelled.
“Okay but if we’re making the food you gotta set the table. Deal?” 
Greg groaned in annoyance, but agreed. “Fine.” He went on his way, and you and Rodrick made your own way to the kitchen.
“So,” you started, as you grabbed the pasta from the cabinet. “You’ve been trying to get your parents to go out all week.”
He looked everywhere but at you. “Uh, I don’t know what the kid’s on about.”
“Well, shame. Cause I was gonna thank you.”
“For what?”
“Well the more times a week I work the more money I get right?”
“Oh right. Right. So yeah you can thank me.”
“So you were setting them up to go out. Why?”
He shrugged, trying to seem cool. “Wanted to be alone.”
“You’re not alone now. You could be in your room. Or like out with your friends or whatever.”
“I didn’t anticipate that you’d actually be cool.”
“Oh you think I’m cool?”
“Yeah.” 
The water started to boil, and you threw the pasta in the pot, stirring it with a fork.
“Cool. You’re kinda cool too. You know when you’re not trying to be impressive.”
“I’m not trying to impress you!”
“I didn’t say you were trying to impress me .”
“Well I was.”
“You were.”
“Did it work?”
“Why’d you want to impress me?”
“Cause you’re cool. I wanted you to think I’m cool too.”
“Huh. Maybe I do.”
“Cool.”
“Y/N I’M DONE! I THINK ROWLEY’S HERE !” Greg’s voice came from the dining room.
“I didn’t hear the doorbell, are you sure?” You yelled back, walking past Rodrick to get the front door. Maybe you were too lost in the conversion to hear it, because the boy was standing right there when you opened it.
“Hey Y/N!” He said with a smile, greeting you with a hug, which was very on-brand for the kid. 
“Hey Rowley. You alright?”
“Yeah! I brought water balloons!”
“You did?”
“Well they’re not full of water yet so they’re just balloons but yeah.”
“Cool! You should tell Greg!”
“Will you play with us?”
“Oh I don’t know, I don’t have clothes I can get wet-”
“Well that’s not a problem!” Rodrick said, and you frowned in confusion. “You can borrow mine!”
“Oh I don-”
“C’mon, Y/N, you really gonna disappoint the boy?”
“Shut up. Fine, but you’re playing too.”
“Deal.”
“Yes!” Rowley exclaimed, before taking off, presumably to go find Greg.
“Well you wanna go up to my room?” Rodrick asked, apparently having otten some confidence from out of the blue, sporting a cocky smirk.
You laughed. “You wish. Just bring me a t-shirt.”
“Yeah. Someone’s gonna be looking like the number one Loded Diper fan out there.”
“If you bring me a white shirt I will beat you up!” You yelled, and he was already on his way upstairs. You took the past out of the pot, mixing it with the sauce you’d made, which was the easiest one you could find.
Rodrick was back as soon as you set the pot down on the table, handing you a gray shirt that , of course, had ‘loded diper’ written on it in terrible handwriting. 
“Thanks.” You draped the shirt over your shoulder and all of you ate in silence, apparently all stupidly hungry for some reason.
You were done pretty quickly, but made sure to get Greg and Rowley to promise to help with the dishes this time, since there were more.
“Okay! We’re gonna get changed!”
“Yeah me too!” You yelled back, making your way to the bathroom, changing into Rodrick’s gray shirt.
It didn’t hang as loose as you thought it would, and you laughed at the thought of Rodrick wearing a tight shirt for no reason. You supposed it was an old one he decided to turn into loded diper merch. Loded diper. What a stupid fucking name. You guessed it was fit. 
Someone knocked on the bathroom door. Rodrick. “You done? These kids are little demons, they talk so much!”
You laughed, unlocking the door and grabbing your own shirt before opening it. 
“Hello?” He looked wide-eyed, like his brain was malfunctioning, staring profusely at his shirt. “You alright?”
“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, awkwardly. “Fine. The shirt alright?”
“Yeah. A lot smaller than I expected. Does Rodrick Heffley wear crop tops?”
He shrugged, embarrassed. “Sometimes. That bad?”
“No.”
“Chicks dig the crop tops, you know.”
“Oh do they?”
“Don’t you?”
“I guess I’d have to see you in one to give an opinion.”
“Yeah that’s not happening any soon."
“Shame.”
“What?”
“I said let’s go.”
You barely had the time to walk into the front yard before Rodrick was hit on the face by a huge water balloon. You turned to see a terrified-looking Rowley at the other side. Rodrick gained his bearings again. 
“Oh you’re in, you little shit!” He seemed way too determined on winning this, but who were you to judge?
Him and Rowley occupied themselves with each other pretty much the whole time, as you did with Greg, until you got hit rather strongly in the back. You stopped what you were doing, which was aiming your next balloon at Greg, who was right in front of you, and turned around to see Rodrick laughing at you.
“Motherfucker-” you cursed yourself mentally for swearing in front of the kids, hoping they wouldn ‘t tell on you, and launched the balloon at him at full speed, it landing on his chest. 
“Hey!”
You played for about half an hour more until the sun set, and you decided it was best to get back inside. All three complained, and you laughed at the situation, because you supposed you did sort of sound like a mom when trying to convince them to get in, but they ended up listening.
“Okay what are we watching tonight?” You asked as you closed the front door behind you and dried your feet on the mat by the entrance.
“Oh can we watch a horror movie?” Greg asked.
“Nope, we know how that ends.”
“But we’ve changed!”
“It’s been less than a week!”
“People change!” Greg tried to plead, but you knew Mrs. Heffley wouldn’t like it if you caved in.
“No can do, Gregory. We can watch that Adam Sandler movie you wanted though.”
“With the little kid?”
“Yeah.”
“Fine.”
You were halfway through a second movie when the boys decided it was time for dessert, and you still had a little while before the Heffleys came back, so you decided you’d all bake cupcakes.
They didn’t turn out as great as you wished they would, but also weren’t half bad. They were a little flat and maybe a little toasted on the top, but were otherwise pretty edible. You covered them with some frosting and ate them as you finished the movie.
It turned out when you were done the Heffleys still hadn’t come back, so you decided to put the boys to sleep then. You came back to Ridrick looking at you at the other end of the hallway. 
“Hey,” you said, not expecting him to be there.
You stood there in silence for a few moments before he cleared his throat and started talking.
“Um do you wanna hang out? ‘Till they're back?” It was funny, with him. One moment he’d be full of confidence, flirting with you at the max, but, in a second, his entire demeanor would change and he’d look unsure, insecure to ask you anything.
You were starting to wonder if he wasn’t just being a stupid hormonal teenager and if he actually, maybe, had a little bit of a crush on you. But you wouldn’t entertain those thoughts, of course. First because you could be completely misinterpreting the situations, and second because you needed the job, and you hadn’t gotten enough of a read on his mom to know if she’d be cool with that.
Still, you did have nothing else to do but scroll through your phone as you waited. “Sure.”
“Oh! Cool. Uh, my room’s right there,” he pointed to a white door by his left, and you followed him in. It actually looked pretty cool. It was sort of exactly what you expected his room to look like, except maybe a little messier, if that was possible.
To each their own, I guess. It’s not like you were the cleanest person to ever walk the Earth. You sat down on his bed, and he opted to sit down on a beanbag just in front of you.
TIt's safe to say things were a little awkward. “Uh. So. Cool room.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
You studied the multiple posters he had glued to his walls. “Oh, The Cure. Cool.”
“Yeah. They’re not like super my style or anything. But they’re cool.”
“What would be your style?”
“I don’t know. Hard rock.”
“Huh. I don’t know. You just look like one of those guys who like rock but secretly listen to Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber or something when they’re alone.”
“What- what I would never- I don’t-” busted. 
You laughed at him as he tried to deny it. “I think it’s cool.”
He stopped. “You do?”
“Yeah. Taylor Swift’s cool.”
“Yeah uh. Girls dig that.”
“Do you really know what girls dig or do you just make random guesses?”
“I’m well-informed.”
“Oh are you? You have a girlfriend or something?” Subtle.
He scoffed. “Pfft. Yeah.”
“Uh- huh.”
He gave in. “No, I don’t.”
“Okay”
“You're a girl. What do you dig then?”
“What a romantic way to phrase that question. I guess I don’t know. Never stopped to think of it. What do you think we dig?”
“Uh. Bad boys?”
You let out a laugh. “Yeah I guess. But it depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether they’re nice to us.”
“So you want bad boys who are actually nice.”
“Yeah.”
“That doesn’t make sense. Uh. But I can be nice.”
“Who said you’re a bad boy to begin with?”
“Um rock band? Cool eyeliner?” He motioned to himself, mockingly.
“Well who do you wanna be nice for?”
“Uh. You? Obviously.”
Your smile faltered. There was the confidence making an appearance again.
“What?”
“Uh. You know. So I can uh- practice. For other... girls?”
“Right.”
“Or maybe not.”
“Okay I ‘m lost.”
“Do you wanna go out with me? ” He blurted out at rapid speed.
Okay, sudden much? “What?”
“Uh. We could… go to the movies or something? You seem to like movies.”
“Right. But as a… date?”
“Yeah.”
You thought about it. It was just a date, it’s not like his mom would get mad about a date, right?
“Sure.”
“What?”
“I said sure.”
His eyes widened, he didn’t seem to have been expecting a positive answer. “Oh! That’s cool! That's- cool.”
“Yeah. Cool.”
He began standing up. “Well, do you wanna-” In that very moment, before he could finish, the doorbell rang, and you made your way past him, running downstairs and getting the front door. 
“Y/N! How are we?”
You hoped the blush on your cheeks wasn’t as visible as it felt as you talked to her. “We’re great! Greg and Rowley are already in bed, Rodrick and I have been uh. Hanging out.”
“Oh that’s nice of him!” She turned to face her husband, who, in turn, grabbed your wrist. 
“What have you done to him? Are you some sort of witch?” He asked you.
You laughed awkwardly. “Oh it’s all him! He was showing me the posters in his room, we like the same bands!”
“Oh do you uh. Like rock too?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Well we’re taking too much of your time. Is Rodrick driving you home?”
Oh, right. Shit. He was.
“Yeah I uh, think so.”
With that, he walked into your view, holding up the van keys. He’d apparently put on shades, probably so his parents wouldn’t see he had eyeliner on.
“Why do you have sunglasses on?” Mr. Heffley asked him as he walked past them.
“It’s called fashion, dad!”
Mrs. Heffley handed you the money for the night, and you went on your way, getting into the van with Rodrick, who, by now, didn’t need the GPS to get to your place. Except he wasn’t driving to your place at all.
“What are you doing?”
“Wanted a slushie. That cool?”
“I guess.”
He stopped by a 7/11 and bought each of you a slushie and some chocolate bars, which you ate outside. The wind started to get harsher, and you crossed your arms around your chest for warmth. He caught on to that, taking his striped hoodie off and giving it to you. You looked up at him, confused.
“What?”
“You’re cold.”
“Yeah but you’ll be cold.”
“Rockstars don’t get cold.”
“You’re not a rockstar.”
“Not yet."
You raised an eyebrow at him, unamused.
"Just take it!” 
You did, and put it on. This one hung looser than the shirt you’d borrowed earlier. It did help. You tried your best to contain the smile that was insisting on forming on your lips. You knew it was dumb.
“Thanks,” you mumbled under your breath, and you could see him smirk, proud of himself. “You’re so cheesy. Wouldn’t take you for it.” 
“I’m not cheesy. I’m just not an asshole.”
“You kinda are.”
“Shut up!”
You ate in silence for a bit before you decided to say what was on your mind. “Hey about that date?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t… I don’t know if we should do it.”
He tried to seem chill about it, but he looked a little hurt. “Why?”
“Well it’s not that I don’t want to! I do. For… some reason,” you added, trying to lighten up the mood. “But do you think your mom would be cool with it? I mean I don’t wanna lose this job and I don’t know if she’d really like us being alone if we’re dating.”
His face lit up. “So you’re thinking about dating me?”
Oh, you’d messed up big time now, he’d never let this go. “No! That’s not what I meant!”
“I think it is.”
“Fuck off!”
“Oh we’re using big boy words now?” He grinned.
“Shut up.”
“Well. Don’t think that should be a problem. They don’t have to know.”
“What do you mean?”
“What, do you tell your parents everything? They don’t have to know we’re dating.”
“Yeah but we’re not dating.”
“Not yet.”
“Shut up!”
“They don’t have to know we’re going on a date, then. Plus, the days you work can be like little dates.”
“Yeah except there will be two children up our asses.”
“You can manage.”
“Fine, Heffley. But if I lose my job you’ll be owing me. Like literal money.”
“Deal.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah. Cool.”
[. . .]
A/N: sometimes ur 20 pages into a diary of a wimpy kid rodrick heffley oneshot and you ask urself wtf am i doing with my life. this is the product of that. i wrote this THREE YEARS AGO WOW so i edited some of it to post it here but nothing major cause i didn't want it to lose its energy lol. btw i was in fact like. actually in high school at the time lmao. luv yall!
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joonbum · 10 months
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Rodrick x reader! Smut! afab reader she/her pronouns used.
authors note. this is my first ever smut fic or anything I’ve written on this platform I promise it’ll get better guys 😭😭😭
Summary: when Rodrick finds out you like his hands and humps you while he chokes you.
it was a quiet day. raining outside and perfect for an indoor date.
you and rodrick were splayed on your bed, the soft sweet sounds of rain pittering and pattering into your room. the best thing about rodrick was how you could be completely quiet and still be comfortable, doing your own thing.
you sketched him as he watched videos of drummers from his favorite bands. he looked so angelic as he gently pouted, as the video showed various techniques he hoped to master.
“Y/n?” he looked at you, grinning a bit and you looked away, as if you weren’t staring at him for the longest time.
“Hmm?” you hummed focusing on sketching his hands.
oh. his hands. how you loved his hands. the long fingers and pretty veins that stretched across his hands. it’s all you could think about recently. thinking about his long fingers that could’ve just—
“Whatcha thinking about pretty girl?” he came close to you and snuggled in your lap, his pretty head looking up at your drawing.
“ it’s not done yet..” you mumbled, you didn’t want to show him an incomplete drawing.
“no it looks so nice, your so talented baby.” He laid soft kisses on your wrists.
“baby’s so smart and talented too, so cute..” he sat up at started kissing at your neck.
you let out a breathy sigh and the feeling of his lips on your skin. he stopped abruptly.
“now tell me, what were you actually thinking about hm? or else I won’t keep going.”
“well um I was thinking about..” you looked as you struggled to get the words out. “your hands, they just,”
“you were staring at my hands?” his eyes widened as he gave a lazy grin.
you gasped. feeling embarrassed and hot. rodrick didn’t know exactly what you were thinking about.. right? he didn’t know you wanted his-
rodrick crashed his lips onto yours as he began to kiss you and you whined into the kiss, as unexpected as it was. rodrick gently moved you into his lap as he kissed you, stifling your whines with more and more kisses. he bumped his leg and you gasped, giving him access to push his tounge in as it fought with yours for dominance, a battle he easily won.
“rodrick…” you whined as he pulled away.
he traced his hands on your lips, pulling at the bottom lip and watched as it bounced back into place. he pulled away and looked at you. he looked at how your face already looked like you needed more, the way your eyes had already gone hazy and needy.
“tell me what you want pretty.” He mumbled placing kisses at your jawline watching the way you deliciously shuddered.
“you. wan your hands rodrick please please please” you whined wanting more needing more right now.
“shh I’ve got you, it’s ok. where you want them? want me to put them around your pretty neck hm?” he gently placed them around your neck.
you whined as you nodded, so embarrassed you could barely look at him.
“no gotta hear you say it, so I know exactly what you need.”
“please choke me rodrick, need it so bad it’s all I could think about-“
“fuck.”
his kisses shut you up again as he began to rock his hips towards yours as he deepened the kiss. he watched as your hands began to cling onto him for support as he bounced you on his lap. his hand traced their way to your neck, and gave a light squeeze and watched as your body jerked and soft whimpers came out of your mouth. the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt you
“rodrick, mm hah fuck please” you whined in his mouth “harder, harder-“
he squeezed harder, eyes widening at the pornographic moan you let out.
“yeah, yeah? you like that? so cute baby who would’ve known my pretty girl likes my hands around her neck hm?” he said lazily as he sped up his grinding.
you moaned and started to bounce on his lap faster too, as you felt that familiar coil in your stomach. “rodrick- please needa cum please please” you whined as you desperately rocked back and forth.
he wrapped his hands around your neck and squeezed harder. as he watched your eye roll to the back of your head and your pretty little tongue lolled out.
he grinned. “who would’ve known perfect little y/n just needed to be fucked on her boyfriends thigh and choked hm? yeah? you need to cum baby?”
“please, please.”
“good girl, come for me.” he squeezed harder and you came undone.
you looked so pretty when you came . the way your back arched and you moaned his name. the way your head and your hands gripped his shoulders. rodrick could watch you like this forever.
“fuck m cumming too-“ he groaned and bucked his hips.
you sighed and laid on him as he stroked your hair, and planted soft kisses to your head.
“I love you y/n.” He said. And he really meant it. His eyes shone with adoration.
“I love you too Rodrick. Forever and ever.” You smiled softly basking in the afterglow.
“love the way you moan my name and whine as I choke you too-“ he grinned.
“rodrickkkk” you laughed and tackled him.
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floshav · 5 months
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part 2 to my last rodrick fic which u can read here !
summary: Rodrick proves his likeness for y/n through a spontaneous kiss leaving her smitten and dazed. However, thoughts of Heather still lingered in her mind, constantly being reminded of the blonde girl whenever she passed by. "Does Rodrick still like her?" "Does he even like me?" What happens when Heather suddenly takes interest in Rodrick after ignoring him for years just because she can't let y/n get what she wants.
wc: 2k plus
warnings: allusions to smut, heavy make out
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2 weeks later...
the kiss, no not just the kiss but the two kisses rodrick and y/n shared that night resulted in their relationship. She had been left smitten and the feeling was one of those that even if you wanted to forget, you couldn't. The heart racing, blush inducing feeling of getting kissed on by rodrick the boy she'd been crushing on for years, with his rough boy lips which still managed to be soft and plush because well, he was Rodrick after all.
It was now a plain old Monday and she was lost daydreaming in her Calculus class, or was it english? She couldn't bother to take notice.
"Alright, take out your calculators and flip to page 56. We'll be grinding through the workbook today class!" Ms. Smith yelled whilst her big buggy glasses fell down the tip of her nose bridge, stopped by her finger which shoved them back in place. Y/n couldn't care less. Her mind was swarmed with what happened 2 weeks ago.
His lips grazed hers one more time, this time softer and one might say more lovingly if she was in a state of delirium. She felt his slender hand creep up the side of her hip brushing it against her shirt so so gently. He broke off the kiss and his face was so close to hers she felt as if she might faint right then and there. The boy who was rough, impatient and borderline rude crumbled in-front of her. She'd never seen Rodrick like this before. Each freckle, each fine line, each perfect imperfection visible to her now. She'd imagined this image thousands of times before, but never had she imagined it to come true. Rodrick hesitated before saying his next words "I- I really like you y/n. And- and i just want to set that clear before you try showing up to my house drunk silly again. You were being so wreck less you know that?" He chuckled dorky-ly ever so slightly which made her heart pound just a little harder. Her heart fluttered at how he cared for her.
"M'sorry I-i just, m'just so jealous." She slurred as her eyes began to tear up with a mix of happiness, jealousy, anger and most of all, sadness. "Why? You know i'm here for you and you only, stupid." Rodrick whispered so softly against her lips but y/n's mind swarmed with confusion. "B-but you always *hiccup* talk about Heather." She sighed as she let herself fall into her hands. "Makes it *hiccup* hard to believe" She said again. "I-" He moves further back and a familiar ache rises to her chest, one of abandonment. "She was just someone I was infatuated in. Nothing more. Fuck. If i really liked her, would i have kissed you back? Let alone kiss you again?" He said making eye contact this time. He looked absolutely illegal. The way his hair was his usual mess, his blown out eyeliner smudged beneath his fox eyes. His puffy lips. Everything about him made her feel unreasonably hot in the cool weather. "S-so no more feelings for her?" "No. no more." he said so seriously it made her scared. "In fact, she's an asshole and i don't want any part of her in my life." He said whilst memories of what Heather did earlier fled his mind. Rodrick plants a kiss at the corner of y/n's lips and this time she knows it was meant lovingly. Still, at the back of her mind, the one aching question lingered, didn't he say he loved her?
"Y/n?" "Ms y/n?" She blinked and the memory was interrupted by an annoying voice. "Do you care to open your workbook? Or do you intend on staring at the cover for the next hour?" Ms Smith's breath tickled the hairs on the back of her neck waking her from her daydreams of what happened that hazy night.
"Yea, sorry ms smith." She smiled tightly before flipping to page 66 or 57 the page number was was a blur to her, but an open book would do.
He planted a soft kiss at the crook of her neck.
suddenly her mind wandered to what happened later that night.
Hand riding up under her shirt. "is this okay?" His voice was earnest and soft against the skin of her neck.
her thighs clenched together unintentionally and she felt ashamed for imaging such lewd things. She'd been daydreaming about that night for the past few weeks. Each week making her crave for more until she felt sick. Rodrick hadn't made a move like that on her ever since, and she was just too shy to even ask so images in her mind would do for now.
He unclasped her bra in one swift motion and it made her question if he'd done this before, with... Heather? No, can't be, she doesn't even care for him. Right?
The kissing started to turn into making out and y/n felt his breathing falter when she brushed her pinky against his crotch by accident.
"Fuck do you even know what you're doing right now-"
"Ms. y/l/n!" Just as quickly as it started, her daydreaming had come to a halt.
"I've been calling your name for the past 5 minutes. Care to share your answer to the whole class? I assume you didn't even hear the question number i gave you. Number 5! Now." Ms. Smith tried to hush her yelling down to be more precarious.
"Sorry Ms." Y/n sighed before making her way to the black board with a dumb empty mind filled with Rodrick.
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The same could be said about Rodrick. His usual sleepiness that was met with classes vanished ever since that night. Instead of sleeping, he was putting his pretty dumb brain to use by thinking. Thinking about y/n. Every night, everyday, every moment. He'd be lying if he said that she was the only girl he'd ever gained feelings for, because Heather Hills did exist. But it was true when he said he didn't like her anymore.
"Mmm- Aaah- R-rodrick p-please not my neck."
"Shhh, just one more kiss y/n, please."
"F-fuck!"
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUC-"
Before Rodrick's dream could get any steamier he was awoken to the sound of Heather cursing just beside him, clearly to get someone's attention.
"FUCK! how am i going to do this!!!" Heathers voice was painfully exaggerated and Rodrick couldn't help but cringe. Was this the girl he was smitten by before?
"Oh- Hey Roddy!" Heather smirked as she twisted her body to face him.
Rodrick's head was rested on his arm and he couldn't help but look at her with dead eyes, clearly annoyed.
"You.... you play the drums right?"
"Mmm" Rodrick groaned as he scratched his temple, he was surprised at how much he didn't care for THE Heathers presence anymore.
"Was wondering if.... You'd wanna play a gig at my birthday party?"
Rodrick's eyes lit up. A gig? That was a once in a blue moon occasion to rodrick's ears. But reality struck him when he remembered it was Heather who was asking.
"Mmm sorry Heather, don't think i can." Though it ached him to decline the gig, he knew you wouldn't like it so he sucked it up. Rodrick felt a sense of pride when he realised he didn't stumble over his words around her anymore.
"Awwww but why! I'll pay you 50 bucks an hour, and you know my parties last long." She feigned a girly voice as she batted her long eyelashes which icked Rodrick out.
50 bucks an hour..... The offer was tempting but, you were even more tempting.
Before Rodrick could answer, you walked in the class with a goofy smile, ready to see your Rodrick with..... Heather.
Heather shot back daggers through a fake soft smile. The type she'd give to a teacher after almost being caught doing something.
"Oh... Hello there y/n! Sorry, Rodrick was just telling me about how he'd love to play drums at my party. Isn't that right Rodrick?"
"Wh- No?" Rodrick scoffed out, eyes squinting at the mischievous blue eyed blonde.
"Oh c'mon, don't lie to y/n just because you pity her! You're a man! Act like one." Heather said as she got up from her chair slightly agitated at the fact Rodrick didn't play along.
"See you there Roddy." Heather said before smirking and popping out her ass dramatically.
roddy... That nickname made y/n's blood boil and she never wanted to hear it again.
"I swear! I-I did not agree to any of the shit she just yapped about." Rodrick panicked whilst stumbling over his words like a nervous teenager, that familiar feeling rising again but this time towards y/n.
"Hard to believe Rodrick. Or should i say Roddy... God! i shouldnt have been so naive. I'm so stupid! I thought you were over her." Y/n lashed out before storming out the classroom in a hurry, not thinking straight.
"Wait! Fuck. That fucking bitch Heather." Rodrick sighed out as he reached for the class door.
You found yourself slanting against a crusty brick wall beside a half broken vending machine. You don't know why you overreacted so fast without even bothering to hear Rodrick's explanation but maybe it was because you were so stupidly insecure. You quickly fumbled around your pants pockets to find an old packet of ciggs you remembered you left there. There were 2 left so you lit one up and breathed in the pure comfort. It felt nice to not care just for a second with the cigarette around. When it could have gotten more peaceful you heard a set of obnoxious dorky feet approach you.
"Hey." Rodrick said lightly as he squatted down to your eye level, lanky hands hanging by each sides of his knees.
It made you jump a little and your facade of wanting to remain mad slowly revealed itself. You couldn't help but suppress a tight smile from leaking out.
"What" You said as you blew a whiff of smoke away from his face. His heart fluttered at the small gesture.
"I really did not agree to what Heather told you." He said seriously which was a rare look on Rodrick.
"Are you sure? Cuz it seems like you two are getting along just fine" Y/n sighed as she pushed her hair back, Rodrick's heart beat pounding harder by the second.
"Please, believe me I- I really did not agree to anything, I-I really want you to believe me please." Rodrick was pleading which was something she only saw when he was lovesick. At that moment she knew he couldn't harm her emotionally.
"Alright. Fine, I believe you." Y/n said with a tired voice, though deep down she was glad she could read Rodrick like an open book.
"Im so sorry." Rodrick sighs before nuzzling his head in the crook of her neck, still a nervous wreck whenever he handled her.
She releases her cig and reaches in to hug him back tightly and lovingly before breathing in the intoxicating scent of him. Far better than a cig.
Just around the corner was a cheeky little Heather, listening in to every single decibel of the convo. Heather tightly rolled her eyes and scoffed before it turned into a smirk. Something clicked in her head. She knew what she had to do.
She was going to fake it till she made it.
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lol i feel like this story deserves a pt3 so if this does well i will continue it! I know this has been a long times worth of progress but i've been procrastinating writing like crazy lately and i've only started getting back into it. Anyway please do request because i'm always bored and free !
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blahblahblees · 2 months
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ヽ`、☁ヽ`─── fantasize ミ rodrick heffley
✎ ·˚ ༘ ─── after some “fun in the sun” the heffley’s catch a side of rodrick that they rarely see.
wc: 785
movie!rodrick heffley x fem!reader (use of she/her pronouns)
tw: kissing/making out (?) mentioned
a/n: this was a reblog request :)
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RODRICK HAD been known by his to be this “rockstar” who didn’t have much care in the world. He cared more so about his band than his schoolwork and his music more than the chore list that had been miles and miles long that he always made Greg do with the help of Rowley.
But somehow, someway, Rodrick had a small soft spot in his heart for his family and his girlfriend. That spot, though small, could hold the weights of the world and they all knew that in their very special way.
And if girlfriend knew that Rodrick loved her in his own special way.
He wrote songs about her, he invited her to his gigs, he sat around while she study, they made out in the back of his van… all love in his own very special way.
Even now.
It was dark and late into the night when Rodrick had invited her over. She didn’t plan on staying long, not because she didn’t want to, it was because she didn’t want to intrude on the Heffley family dinner, but he, along with Susan, insisted that she was no bother.
But she’d been over for hours and had been cooped up in Rodrick’s room the entire time.
They’d listen to music, they listened to his music, they jumped up and down and called it dancing. They were with each other and this was a side that many people didn’t see of Rodrick, not even his family.
After that, the two of flopped down on Rodrick’s bed. She held her hands over her mouth to stifle her laughter but Rodrick propped himself on his elbow and took his free hand to remove her hands from her mouth.
She continued to stifle her laughs as Rodrick smiled down at her, drawing closer and closer to her lips and gently placed them on top of hers, which quickly made her laughs disappear and more so focus on him.
It was a gentle, exploratory kiss, with Rodrick's lips moving slowly against hers as they both savored the moment. His hand came up to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing back and forth along her skin.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened. She ran her fingers through his tousled hair, enjoying the feel of it under her fingertips.
As the kiss continued, she felt her heartbeat quicken and her breathing grow shallow. She was completely lost in the moment, her whole being focused on the sensation of his lips on hers.
Rodrick's hand moved from her cheek to the back of her head, deepening the kiss even further.
It was like nothing she had ever experienced before, and she never wanted it to end.
THERE WAS a gentle knock on Rodrick’s door and on the other side of it had been his little brother Greg. It wasn’t often that the boy knocked, but he knew that his girlfriend was over and from the previous time… he knew to knock.
But Rodrick nor his girlfriend made any noise on the other side of the door. He continue to knock to let them know that dinner had been ready and they needed to come down to each per Susan’s request.
But again, nothing had been heard on the other side, so he shrugged his shoulders and made his way back downstairs to let his mother know that Rodrick wasn’t answering to his knock.
Susan gently put down her napkin and made her way upstairs into Rodrick’s room. And for Greg? This was gold and was something that could only happen once in his lifetime.
Though he knew that he wouldn’t get into too much trouble by skipping out on dinner, it was enough trouble for Greg to grab his camera and prepare for Rodrick to be completely embarrassed in front of his girlfriend.
So, as soon as Susan knocked on Rodrick’s door, Greg hit record.
“Rodrick, sweetie.” Susan called. “It’s time for dinner.”
But once more, absolutely nothing.
So Susan gently grabbed the doorknob and twisted it open. And inside laid Rodrick and his girlfriend laying in his bed with their eyes shut. Rodrick’s arm draped over her as her hand laid gently interlocked with his.
Her shirt had been swapped with one of Rodrick’s Löded Diper shirt that neither Greg nor Susan commented on.
Greg groaned, cutting his camera off and making their way back downstairs to eat his dinner with his father and little brother, Manny.
Susan held a small smile on her face, her hand over her heart as she gently shut the door behind her, making note to save some of the dinner for the two of them.
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— lucy has something to say !!
i feel as if this is short and i’m sad about it sadge
my request are opened! check out my rules and such before request and check out my masterlist to see who i write for!
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manic-eddie · 2 years
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i miss my baby boy rodrick🥲💔
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moonlit-imagines · 23 days
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warnings:
a/n:
requested by anonymous
“This next song is dedicated to the love of my life, my one and only, my favorite person in the whole world, the reason I get out of bed almost every day—” Rodrick was abruptly cut off in his introduction by a band mate.
“Dude! Just start the song!” His guitar player shouted as you beamed brightly with your hands on your cheeks, trying to cover your insanely goofy smile.
“This is for y/n!” Rodrick yelled before singing the lyrics of a fictional boy band’s song, “You’re lookin’ for a boyfriend, I see that, gimme time you know I’m gonna be that!” He pointed at you, causing all eyes to fall onto you, and maybe cringe a bit at his singing but you loved it. Rodrick hopped off stage unexpectedly and gave you a dramatic kiss in front of the crowd, who awkward clapped in reaction. But you didn’t care what they thought of you two. All that mattered was that you were in love.
taglist: @volturi-stuff // @randomawesomeperson102 // @queen-destenie // @thatwaspossesion // @pappydaddy // @emilysprentisss // @ravenmoore14 // @wonderful-writer // @augustvandyne // @summersimmerus // @simsrecs // @xoxobabydolls // @wild-rose-35 // @petersgroupie // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @elenavampire21 //
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once-upon-a-fanfic · 2 years
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What if...
Rodrick had a crush on you? To show you how much he liked you, he tried to bake you cookies... but they were dotted with eggshells?
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embodyingchaos · 8 months
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Heyy
So can I ask van u do a Roderick hcs??? If u do tysm
❥ hii there, hun! of course, i can! i wasn't sure if you wanted general headcanons or dating headcanons, so i did both! hope this is okay! (im so sorry this is so short and LATE)
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general/dating rodrick headcanons warnings: kissing, awkward roddy
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okay so i feel like you would meet rodrick most likely at school and when you do he won’t warm up to you immediately
then once you bring up rock/punk music or anything emo he’ll be like ALL EARS and just start yapping away
i feel like rodrick would be a bit unintentionally mean/rude because he doesn’t think before he speaks but it could also be because he’s trying to impress you ykyk
he’ll tell you about his band of course, and invite you to every damn band practice but you don’t mind obviously
then if he develops a crush on you, he’ll try to play it smooth and cool and ultimately fail because he’s a huge ass goofball
and you’ll probably be able to tell bc you aren’t that dumb, so when he confesses you’ll be like “...i know.” and he’ll be like “whaaa??” LMAO
FOR YOUR FIRST DATE HE’LL BE SO CLICHE LIKE A MOVIE THEN DINNER AT A FAST FOOD PLACE and yall just end the night
OH OH you guys would end the night by laying on the top of his van and just stargazing quietly together or smth
you’d try to kiss his cheek when he drops you off at your house but he accidentally turns and you kiss his lips instead and yall just blush SO MUCH AAAA
this is all i have i apologise
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(repost from my old account, @thatgoodolswitcharoo!)
Imagine
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Being Rodrick's neighbour, and having a tree right in between your windows. Aka, a path to his, or your, room. Meaning you can sneak quickly into eachothers room, but also quickly leave as well.
And since you both kind of grew up together, nobody would grow suspicious of anything if you were suddenly in his room, just assuming the both of you were hanging out. You know, the whole childhood best friends trope.
Little do they know, that you both are doing very intimate stuff! At his house you'd be cuddling, sitting on eachothers laps and doing eachothers eyeliner, maybe even nail polish. Same at yours! Also him teaching you how to play the drums sometimes in the garage.
Of course, nobody would know you'd be sitting in his lap the whole time, his hands on yours -guiding you-, since the door's always locked.
But you're also teaching him about (your favourite hobby) in private!
But since you've known eachother for soooo long, they'd assume it's just the want of teenage privacy.
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reblogs and/or likes are very much appreciated!
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bouncybongfairy · 8 months
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Opposites Attract
Rodrick Heffley x Fem Reader
Summary: One Friday after school, you are trying to practice for an important audition coming up. As you start, you suddenly hear an obnoxiously loud drumming coming from next door. After arguing back and forth for a while, it becomes clear that neither of you is budging. You desperately need this rehearsal time and ask him what it will take to get the peace and quiet you need. He tells you he'll stop if you let him take you on a date tomorrow to the Drive-In tomorrow night.
Word Count: 2k+
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
You were sitting in the last period, trying to get some homework done. It was Friday and you could tell everyone was itching for the weekend to start. Once you noticed that you only had 5 minutes until the bell rang, you started packing your bag up. Unlike most students, you had to stay after school and rehearse for your 1st chair violin position on Monday. You grabbed a tissue and cleaned your glasses, watching the clock as time dragged by. Once the bell rang, you stayed seated until most of your peers exited. You would just be waiting as kinds shoved their way through the small opening. After the doorway was less crowded you made your way to the E-wing where the music room was located. You were close with your orchestra teacher and she would let you stay after class in order to get a little practice in. It was nice to have the entire room to yourself, you took your violin out of the case and started tuning. After you had rosined your bow, you started practicing when you heard an off-rhythm drumming. At first, you were trying to ignore it, unfortunately, you would find yourself focusing on the drumming while counting rests. Eventually, you couldn’t take it so you packed your violin up and tried to find where the music was coming from. 
You went into the theater and saw someone banging away at a drum set that was placed in the middle of the stage. You immediately recognized the drummer as Rodrick Heffley. He had certainly made a reputation for himself this year, getting caught spray painting the side of the school; doing donuts in the parking lot, and of course, you knew he smoked. He was sweating and his shaggy hair was sticking to his forehead. His eyebrows were furrowed because of how much he was exerting himself. He was really lanky but his arms were toned, mostly likely due to how much he plays. He was wearing an Arctic Monkeys t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black skinny jeans. His backpack, which was covered in buttons and pins, was sitting next to the drum kit. He reached down to pull a water bottle and took a drink. His head was tilted up and a couple of water droplets were running down his throat. You walked passed the aisle of seats and approached him, when he noticed you he immediately paused. 
��I’m really trying to practice and I can barely hear myself think over your banging,” you said crossing your arms. 
“Well, what do you want me to do about that? I’m trying to practice too, you know,” he said. 
“I have an audition this Monday and I really need to be 100% focused during this practice,” you explained. 
“I have a gig next Friday and also need some quiet time,” he said. 
“If I give you 10 bucks will you please let me practice?” you proposed.
“Actually I have a better idea, what if we went out tomorrow night? We can go see the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie at the Drive-In,” he said. 
“Really? Do you even know my name?” you huffed. 
“Y/N. I would ask you if you know mine but I’m pretty sure you do,” he said, smirking at you.
“Well then, can I give you my number?” you asked. 
“Sure can,” he said. You climbed up on stage and grabbed a pen out of your jacket pocket. You grabbed his hand and wrote your number on his hand. 
He thanked you and then you quickly made your way back to the music room. You continued on with practicing but were now preoccupied with thinking about what you just agreed to. Not having much experience with dating, you felt a little nervous. Rodrick seemed so confident with talking to girls, that was part of the reason you liked him. You just didn’t want to come off as naive or clueless. Eventually, you come to the conclusion that you can no longer focus on the music and have your mom come to pick you up. The entire car ride and even once you got home you couldn’t get your mind off him. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find him attractive. He just had that bad-boy vibrato that only certain guys have. Not to mention you two completely and utterly fit the trope of the sweet girl with the bad boy stereotype. Most of your friends, especially the ones that you took orchestra with, always talked down on metal or angsty music. You, on the other hand, felt differently. Music that isn’t your taste isn’t bad music and most people your age couldn’t seem to grasp that. All your friends saw him as a grimy skater boy but what was wrong with that? You even asked them why they would be ashamed to be like the guys their famous idols pretend to be. Getting tired of the anxiety thinking about tomorrow was causing you to wash up and head to bed. 
The next day you start getting ready around 6:30 pm. You were sitting on the floor of your bedroom, in front of a mirror that was propped against the wall. Separating your hair into layers you slowly began flat ironing. You had gotten a text from Rodrick that said he was going to pick you up around 8. Although you still had some anxiety, you were really excited. This was going to be your first date and the fact that it was with someone you were so attracted to made it that much. It took you 10 minutes to get your left lash to stick but you were finally done with your make-up. You changed into a jean skirt, a black v-neck, and a white sweater. By the time you were fully done, he texted you that he was on the way. You practically jumped out of your skin when you read it. You felt like your blood was running hot and cold at the same time. Your mom gave you 20 dollars and a kiss on the cheek before she left. When you walked outside your house, the first thing you noticed was his van. It also smelt like his cologne but not in an overwhelming way. You knew he had a band but you didn’t realize it was named Loaded Diper. Practically skipping down the driveway you climb into the front seat. The first thing you noticed was the A.C. being on blast, you were also surprised by how clean everything was. 
“Hey,” you greeted him. 
“Hi, you look really pretty,” he said, which made you blush. 
“Thanks, so are you excited to see the new TMNT movie? I heard it got really good reviews,” you said. 
“For sure, I’ve been looking forward to it for a while,” he said. 
You drove in comfortable silence up until you got to the Drive-In. You offered to pay but he ignored you and your pleas. Once he found a spot in the back, the two of you made your way to the snack bar. It was a vintage 60’s theme which you thought was cool. There were records hung on the call, all the booths were cherry red and the floor had a checkered pattern. As you waited in line, Rodrick put his arms around your shoulder which made your stomach flip. You were surprised by how much he ordered. Seriously, you hoped he wasn’t expecting help. You helped him carry everything back: nachos, popcorn, fresh chocolate chip cookies, two slurpees, and two hotdogs. When he parked, he turned the van around so that the back doors were facing the screen. He opened the doors and you were actually surprised by how much effort he put into it. There was a thick layer of blankets stacked on the floor of the van. Several pillows lined up against the driver and passenger seats. A small battery-powered lantern was hung from the center of the ceiling. There were stickers all over the interior of the car which made you smile. It looked so cute and cozy. You slipped your shoes off and climbed into the back with him. You were nervous, to the point where your teeth were chattering a little. The trailers that played before the movie were still running; he had already eaten half his nachos. 
“Where do you put all that?” you joked. 
“We’ll never know,” he said. 
“Are you nervous?” he asked, pointing to your legs that were shaking a bit. 
“A little, I’ve never been on a date before,” you admitted, taking a sip from your Slurpee. 
“Since we’re sharing secrets, you’re the first girl that actually said yes when I asked. Even then you only did it to rehearse,” he said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. 
“After I gave you my number, I only practiced for like 15 minutes because it was all I could think about,” you said. 
“Really?” he asked, genuinely surprised.
“What is so unbelievable?” you asked. 
“I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t think I was your type,” he confessed. 
“That’s fair, we don’t necessarily run with the same crowd. I have to admit though, usually all the guys I’m around are scared to get a bit of dirt under their fingernails. It’s not like I seek trouble but I really like you, your style, taste in music, and demeanor you know?” you said. 
He was blushing really hard, looking down so that his hair covered his eyes. You could still see his smirk though, it made you feel giddy knowing you had this effect on him. He pulled a pen out of his pocket, at first you questioned whether he should be smoking when he had to drive home. He reassured you that he had a high tolerance and that the effects would wear off by the time the movie ended. You were really nervous, especially because you’d never smoked before. He took a couple of hits to show you how to properly inhale. He also reassured you that if you didn’t want to or didn’t want him to smoke then it was okay. This warmed your heart, knowing that he didn’t want you to feel pressured. You grabbed his hand, feeling too insecure to hold it yourself. You took a big hit and then coughed it out, the smoke burning your throat. He laughed as you took a huge drink of your Slurpee to help the stinging sensation. After taking one or two more hits, you could feel it kicking in. You couldn’t stop giggling which was amusing to Rodrick.
“Now I understand how you can eat all this food,” you said while taking a big bite of a hotdog. 
“Your eyes are so red,” he laughed. 
“Really?” you asked, grabbing your phone and looking at your appearance. 
“Can we take a selfie together?” you asked, he nodded his head yes. 
You scooted closer to him and took a selfie with your back camera with flash. When you showed Rodrick he was impressed with how well they came out. After that, he started talking to you about what his plans were for his band. You were surprised with how far ahead he had thought into the future; you know, about what type of label he wanted to be signed to and merch that he wanted to design. You told him about how you wanted to make movie scores and he thought it was really cool. It was now completely dark and the movie was starting. You covered your legs with the blanket and turned to face Rodrick. He had just taken a hit and blew the small hit into your face. You playfully inhaled which made him laugh, you then kissed his cheek. He turns and smiles at you before giving you a quick peck on the lips. After you cuddle up to him, resting your head on his shoulder, and start enjoying the movie. o
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