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#diary of a wimpy kid x reader
fbfh · 6 months
Text
makey makeover - rodrick x hyperfeminine reader
wc: 1.5k
pairing: rodrick x gn hyperfeminine!reader
warnings: rodrick isn't used to being taken care of but only briefly mentioned at the end, rodrick does not know what hyaluronic acid is
summary: rodrick can never say no to you, but if it means having you straddle his lap while you use all your skincare products on him and listen to music together, he wouldn't want to say no anyway.
song recs: makey makeover - crazy ex girlfriend cast, jesus of suburbia - green day, perfect day - hoku
a/n: I started writing a kids book yesterday?? like I finished the first chapter and outline in one sitting???? it wasn't at all planned but when the muse strikes yk. Anyway I don't think it will take me as long to write so if you wanna read a chapter book about magic and girlhood and unicorns and other mythical creatures with bella sara vibes that's probs gonna be ready reasonably soon lol
tags: @yesv01 @magcon7280 @dustyinkpages @the-snake-pit @kiara7777 @inthehoneymoonwithconnorrk800 @followingthefanfiction @2220825 @Maggzsworld @xiaos_crustytoenails @ionlymadethisaccountbcihadto @strawberryjen124 @Isaentremundos @hxnbah
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Rodrick likes to think he's a pretty tough guy. Between being born and raised on the rebellious messages of pop punk music, and the nonconforming ideologies of emo and other alt subcultures, Rodrick knows in his bones that he'll never let the man break his spirit. He'll never bow down to someone just because they want him to do something. He's had countless opportunities to stand by these beliefs at school and at home, and he has never - not once - come close to doing anything for someone simply because they want him to. Rodrick has been confident in his ability to never give into other people’s orders, no matter how much they demand of him. 
Until now.
“Pretty please, Roddy…?” You pout your glossy lips at him, blinking up at him and batting your doll like eyelashes, and that’s all it takes to make him fold.
“...I guess, if you really-” He’s cut off by an excited squeal from you, and he’s glad that you’re too distracted to notice him blush. Rodrick has never felt his willpower give in so fast, but as he watches you rush around your room and smile, delighted that he’d agreed, he realizes that he’d do pretty much anything you tell him too. Ben and Chris would call him a pussywhipped simp, but… no, that’s pretty much it. He chuckles a little at the thought, watching the pile of stuff grow. He recognizes nail polish and tweezers, but that’s about it.
“Thank you thank you thank you!” You say, rambling happily as you settle down on your bed across from him. “I’ve been wanting to do self care stuff but I’ve done so many everything showers and self care nights there’s nothing left for me to do on myself. But you…”
You take his face in your manicured hands, moving him around to inspect more closely.
“You are in serious need of a facial.”
Rodrick doesn’t really process what you’re saying, he just loves when you touch his face like that. 
“...Uh, yeah totally.” He mutters absentmindedly, distracted by your sweet smell. After a moment, he processes what you said, and chuckles, leaning back into your silky pink pillows. “Babe, you can do anything to me, anywhere, anytime.” 
You giggle, feeling your face flush a little as you get all your stuff organized. Rodrick runs his hands up and down your waist, fidgeting with your soft fluffy pajama shorts and big loded diper shirt you wear all the time. He sees the little burn marks and worn out hems and realizes it’s the one you stole from him. He smiles softly, loving the way you look in it even more now. His attention is pulled back to you when you push something over his face, brushing his hair back. You adjust the fluffy cat ears on the headband, making sure you have access to his whole face. Rodrick giggles a little, knowing he must look a little out of place wearing a pierce the veil shirt and fluffy kitty cat headband. 
“I don’t think my forehead has been this exposed since like, 4th grade…” he chuckles.
“That’s good, you’ll have less sun damage that way.” You smile, putting some micellar water on a cotton pad. It’s a little cold to the touch, but after a moment, the feeling of you gently wiping over his face and neck ends up being way more relaxing than he had expected it to. You throw it away, and he hears it land in your trash can with a crinkle. 
“I’m gonna mist your face now, okay?” You say, and he nods. You spray rose water on his face, and Rodrick can’t get over how considerate you are to give him a heads up like that. Rodrick smiles a little as he adjusts to the subtle floral smelling facial spray he’s used to smelling on you. He basks in the quietness of your room, opening his eyes as he watches you sitting on his stomach and looking for the next product. You hesitate for a moment. You feel like something’s missing, but you can’t put your finger on it.
“Oh,” you say, reaching for your phone as you remember. You open up Spotify, and put your favorite playlist on shuffle - the one you and Roddy share. It’s full of both your favorite songs, mostly boiling down to early 2000’s pop punk and trashy pop. It’s chaotic but really does suit you both perfectly.  Rodrick smiles suddenly as he instantly recognizes the opening notes of Jesus of Suburbia begin to play. You take out your favorite serum, jasmine and blackberry hydrating jelly, and place a few drops around his face. 
“What’s that one?” Rodrick asks, picking up another bottle. 
“Hyaluronic acid.”
Rodrick looks at the little dropper bottle.
“Does it, like, melt the flesh right off your bones?” 
“No…?” You chuckle, massaging his cheekbones and jawline with your fingertips.
“Then why is it called hydroponic acid?” He asks rhetorically, “Acid is supposed to melt shit.”
You laugh again, and he makes a mental note to sample your laughter for a song at some point in the future. He doesn’t know which one yet, but he knows it will be his best one yet. 
You rub some cooling aloe vera gel into his skin, then take out your rose quartz gua sha stone. You tap your fingertips against his chest, and he looks at you with an amused smile.
“What does that do?”
He watches you work, eyes locked on you. He can’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed and peaceful. 
“I’m prepping your lymphatic drainage system.” 
That clarified absolutely nothing for Rodrick, but he trusts you implicitly. You’re so good at so many things, but Christ, you could write a book on all that girly beauty stuff. It’s way more hardcore than people think it is. You know about all these acids and drainage systems and the pink rock thing, and even though he’s impressed, he’s not at all surprised by how good you are at all this stuff.
You begin gently gliding your gua sha over Roddy’s skin, working from his forehead down to his neck and jawline. He stops talking as you work, and it’s like you melt all of the stress out of his body through his face. He could fall asleep with you touching him so gently like this. After a while you rub some more cream into his face, then place something under his eyes that feels like thinly sliced jello.
“What the fuck?” He asks, bringing another laugh out of you. He watches you take two more of the weird jelly things and put them under your own eyes.
“They’re under eye masks.” You answer with a chuckle. “They hydrate your skin, depuff, and get rid of dark circles.”
“Huh…” he hums in response, playing with the patches as they sit on his face. 
Once you’ve used half your arsenal of skincare products on him, you peel off his sheet mask and let him sit up. You hand him a mirror, and as he sits up and stretches a little, kind of wishing you had more to do, he feels like he just woke up from the best sleep of his life. 
“So? What do you think?” You ask excitedly. He can’t help but crack a smile at how cute you are. Rodrick takes the mirror you offer him. When he sees his reflection, he almost doesn’t recognize himself. 
“Oh my god…” he says with a soft smile. He’s glowing. He doesn’t think he’s ever looked this soft and moisturized and… cared for before. He doesn’t even have any crusty eyeliner from yesterday smudged around his eyes. He can never get it off all the way, but one wave of your magic wand, and it’s gone. He laughs again, touching his cheek. He looks up at you in surprise.
“My face is so smooth…” “I know!” You exclaim in delight. “So, do you like facials after all?”
You have a feeling you already know the answer, but Rodrick looks up at you anyway.
“Yeah,” he states, pulling you in for a kiss, his lips soft and exfoliated, topped with your favorite strawberry lip balm. You think Rodrick is right, it does taste better in a kiss. After he pulls away, it takes him a minute for his brain to stop short circuiting. 
“So… uh, are we doing this again next weekend?” 
You laugh at his hopeful tone of voice, how he raises his eyebrows a little. 
“Yeah.” You nod, taking him in for another kiss. You take his hands in yours, looking at the stick and poke tattoo he got of the heart you drew on his hand in chemistry class, his little calluses from drumming. “Next week I can do something about your cuticles.”
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agaypanic · 2 months
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Hi!! I saw you were writing for Rodrick and thought I could give an idea if you would like to write for it! So here's the basis, at Rodricks party (or just a party in general) the reader gets flat out wasted and doesn't realize that Rodrick is their boyfriend and says like 'my boyfriend would beat you up if he found out about this' while Rodrick is trying to take care of them. Preferably feminine or gender neutral pronouns. I hope this made enough sense. Have a great rest of you day :)
Blame it on the Alcohol (Rodrick Heffley X Reader)
Masterlist
Request Something!
Summary: Your boyfriend Rodrick tries taking care of you while you’re drunk, and you seem to forget that he’s your boyfriend.
A/N: warning for underage drinking
***
As soon as Rodrick’s parents were out of the house, he knew he was gonna throw a party. He didn’t care that his brother Greg would be there; he’d take care of him later. Maybe make him sleep over at Rowley’s or lock him in his room.
Rodrick threw himself on the couch and called you, wanting you to be the first to show up to his party. Then, after the call, the two of you texted all of your friends to come to Rodrick’s tonight.
A few hours later, the party was in full swing. Rodrick ended up locking Greg in the basement so he could focus on having fun with you without worrying about his brother ruining his party. 
“So, when are your parents coming home?” You asked your boyfriend before taking a sip of your drink. You didn’t really know what was in it; your friend had made it for you, but it was definitely giving you a bit of a buzz.
“Monday or something.” Rodrick shrugged, his arm wrapped around you, keeping you close to him. “We have the whole weekend to ourselves.” He said with a smirk.
“Isn’t Greg here?” 
“Yeah, but I can keep him in the basement.”
“Rodrick…” You pointed to the front door, where you saw Greg’s friend Rowley looking around in wonder. “What’s he doing here?”
Rodrick cursed, his wide eyes accentuated by the eyeliner that you helped him put on before people started coming to the house.
“I’ll be right back.” He said, handing you his red solo cup before racing over to the little redheaded boy and grabbing him by the back of his shirt. You snorted, taking another sip before going to find your friends.
It was a long while before you found Rodrick again. You were close to plastered, hanging onto one of your friends who was definitely more sober than you were. After a brief silence in the house, where apparently Susan had called to check up on Rodrick and Greg, your boyfriend let the boys out of the basement, and the party became livelier than before. You screamed along to music, dancing in a way that looked like uncontrolled thrashing, and drank until your friends decided it was time to cut you off and hand you back to your boyfriend.
“Finally! We’ve been looking for you for, like, forever!” One of your friends said with a giggle as she spotted Rodrick in the kitchen. 
“Who’s he?” You asked, pointing at the boy. He looked at you and then at your friend, growing confused.
“She’s wasted. Good luck.” Then you were pushed into his arms. Luckily, he caught you, or else you probably would’ve stumbled into something.
“Gee, thanks!” He called out to your friend before looking down at you. “Hey babe, feeling okay?”
“Who are you calling ‘babe’?” You asked incredulously. Rodrick snorted.
“Yeah, let’s get you to bed.” 
Luckily for Rodrick, the party was starting to die down a bit. He quickly kicked everyone out of the house, grabbed a bottle of water, and told Greg and Rowley that they could do whatever they wanted as long as they didn’t bother him before he took you up to his room.
“You better hope my boyfriend doesn’t find out about this.” You said in a bit of a slur as Rodrick sat you on his bed. “He’ll beat you up.”
“Y/n, I am your boyfriend.” Rodrick snorted, and you furiously shook your head.
“Nuh-uh.” You said, leaning back on your elbows. “My boyfriend’s prettier.”
Rodrick felt jealous for a minute before remembering that he was being jealous of himself.
“Oh really?” 
You nodded, watching Rodrick pull out a shirt from his dresser.
“He’s in a band.” You said with a smile before seeing the shirt’s design. You gasped, pointing at it with a grin. “That’s his band!”
“Yeah?” Rodrick asked, mirroring your enthusiasm. He figured it was better to play along by acting like he wasn’t your boyfriend right now. “I’m a big fan.”
“Well, I’m a bigger fan.” You smirked, flopping back onto the bed. You stretched your limbs, feeling fuzzy and warm all over. “I’m tired.” You said with a sigh.
Rodrick figured now would be the best time to get you changed. He pulled you back into a sitting position and held the shirt in front of you.
“Wanna put this on?” He asked in a tone that one would use with a baby. Seeing the name of your boyfriend’s band on the shirt, you nodded and snatched it from his hands. Rodrick turned around as you got changed, throwing you some shorts from one of the last times that you stayed over. 
By the time Rodrick was changed into his own pajamas and had turned around, you were sprawled out on his bed, the clothes you were previously wearing scattered around you.
Letting out a small laugh, Rodrick gathered your stuff into a small pile. Then he gently grabbed you, pulling you closer to the head of the bed. Rodrick opened up the water bottle he brought up and nudged you awake.
“Drink this.” Your eyes opened the slightest bit to see the bottle, which you grabbed and chugged. Rodrick’s eyes widened at the speed at which you drank, the bottle being emptied in just a couple of seconds.
“Thanks.” You say, crushing the plastic bottle and giving it back to Rodrick, who just tossed it over his shoulder. “You know, you’re really nice.” You grabbed one of Rodrick’s pillows, clutching it close to you and smushing your cheek against it. “But don’t try anything, because my boyfriend will kick your ass.”
“Wouldn’t want that.” Rodrick laughed, brushing some stray hair out of your face. “Goodnight, Y/n.”
“Goodnight.” You yawned, quickly falling into a deep sleep. When he knew you weren’t going to wake up, Rodrick laid back and closed his eyes, staying close to you as he fell asleep.
***
Rodrick Heffley Taglist: @tweedledipshit
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h3ffleyswife · 2 months
Text
"i cant hold my alcohol" (r. heffley x reader)
desc: fem! reader who's ben's little sister. drunken mishaps, you sleep in rodricks bed, just read it
warnings: slightly ooc rodrick ngl, i wrote this when i was tired lolz sry
word count: 2480
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You buckle your seat belt and throw your purse on the floor of your brothers car. "We're going over to Rodricks, his parents are out of town so he's throwing a party, sound good?" Ben, your brother, says while reversing out of your guys' driveway. You furrow your eyebrows, "Rodrick? The hot one in your band?" You questioned, picking at the chipped nail polish on your fingernails. Ben looked over at you and scoffed, "I mean, whatever floats your boat. But no way would I ever let you two date. You guys would make my life a living hell." You roll your eyes and sigh, "Whatever, leave me to my fantasies, Ben."
Your brother's face contorts into one of disgust and he pulls in front of a house that you can only assume is the Heffley's. "Please, spare me with the details of your Rodrick fantasies." Ben says, putting the car in park and taking his keys. You giggle to yourself and hop out of his shitty, beat up car. You can see lots of kids already here, most of them already wasted out of their minds. Ben walks in front of you towards the front door, and your heart flutters with nerves.
Stepping through the door, the first thing that hits your nose is alcohol, and it almost makes you nauseous. Ben's already gone off somewhere, so you walk around until you can find the drinks. Peeking your head into the kitchen, there's a couple borderline fucking on Rodricks kitchen counter. You scrunch your eyebrows and turn around, there didn't seem to be any drinks in there anyways.
It takes you about five minutes and squeezing your way through a bunch of intoxicated, smelly teens, but you finally find the drinks. Gwen Stefani is blasting in your ear while you pour yourself a coke mixed with a little bit of whatever shitty alcohol Rodrick managed to get his hands on. You take a sip, there's not too much alcohol in the drink, which is good. You don't plan on getting drunk tonight.
Rodrick is standing in a corner of his living room, chatting it up with his band members when Ben walks up to him. Rodrick greets him with a high five and a large grin on his face, "What's up dude? What took you so long?!" Chris asks Ben, also giving the boy a high five. "Sorry guys, my sister took hella long to get ready, but we made it!" Ben said and took a sip of his drink, he's lucky you already agreed to being designated driver, because there was enough alcohol in his cup to kill a victorian child. Rodricks ears perked up at the mention of you, "Your sister's here?" Rodrick questioned Ben, who looked at him with a raised brow. "Yeah.. she's somewhere around here, why? Is that okay? She's in our grade, it's not like I brought my 7 year old sister or anything." Ben rambles, Rodrick's now scanning the room for your familiar face.
It's been a running "joke" between the band that Rodrick has a thing for you, Ben's sister, for a while now. Any time you showed up with Ben to practice because of convenience, Rodricks playing would be off, and he'd be distracted the whole practice. There was just something about you, Rodrick thought to himself. "Hey man, stop daydreaming about Ben's sister!" Chris waves his hand in front of Rodricks face and laughs, making Rodrick blink a couple times before laughing nervously and looking at Ben. Ben rolls his eyes before making eye contact with Rodrick, "I wouldn't actually be upset if you tried to date my sister, but I swear on my mother, Rodrick, that I will put you six feet under if you screw her over." Ben places his hand on Rodricks shoulder and tightens his grip, making Rodrick gulp nervously before nodding quickly, "Of course dude, I wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt her!" He swats Ben's hand away, "I have business to attend to, gentlemen." Rodrick shouts, walking- maybe skipping- away to go find you. Ben sighs and takes another swig of his drink while Chris laughs to himself, turning to go try and talk to a girl.
You're leaning against a wall, starting to get mildly bored, when someone taps your shoulder. Turning around, you see Rodrick. Your face immediately gets hot and you give him a small smile, "Hey!" Rodrick says with a smile, giving you a quick once-over. You pretend not to see him looking you up and down, feeling an unfamiliar feeling in your stomach. "Hey Rodrick, how's it going?" You ask, your voice shaky and hands clammy enough to open a seafood restaurant. You cleared your throat awkwardly, normally, you were able to hold a conversation with him, why was it so different now? Rodrick gives you a nervous smile and stutters out a reply, "Well, throwing a party is way harder than it seems, y'know. How've you been? I don't really see you around school much." He smiles at you and you feel like you've just levitated off of the ground, "Haha, yeah I bet. I'm not doing too bad, just kind of doing my own thing, you know? I haven't been doing a lot recently, but I did just pick up a new guitar the other day, learning it's been kind of a pain in the ass though." You find yourself starting to ramble. Rodrick just looks at you and melts into your voice, nodding at certain parts. "You should teach me how to play once you've got it down. I could teach you how to play the drums, not to flex or anything, but I'd say I'm pretty good" Rodrick says and crosses his arms, smirking to himself. You laugh and shake your head, "If you sound anything like you did a couple months ago, I think I'll pass on those lessons, Rodrick" You giggle, watching his face fall.
"Hey! I've improved, thank you! And I wasn't even that bad..." Rodrick looks away with a pink face, and you find yourself smiling at the boy. "Sorry, sorry. I'll have to take you up on those drum lessons, then." Rodrick looks at you and laughs, "You want another drink?" You look at your empty cup and shrug, "Sure, why not."
Rodrick leads you into the dining room where he had drinks laid out on the table, "Let me make you something, are you driving later?" He asks you, and you pause, "I could find a ride home". He raises his eyebrow, "You could always just crash over here if that's okay with you?" Your stomach twists in excitement and you nod, "That's fine by me, why are you trying to get me drunk, Heffley? Don't try anything funny" You say and take the drink he's made you out of his hands, throwing him a smirk afterwards. Rodrick's eyes go wide and he stutters and trips over his own words, "W-wait!! I'm not trying- that's not-" You cut him off by laughing loudly, shaking your head. "I'm just giving you a hard time, if I didn't want to drink, I wouldn't have agreed to you making me drink." Rodrick lets out a loud sigh and playfully glares at you, "Gave me a heart attack" He grumbles and you giggle again, taking another sip of your drink. It was pretty strong, and you realized you should tell your brother to figure out a ride home because you were no longer going to drive him home. You take another sip, "Hey, do you know where my brother is by any chance? I need to tell him i'm not gonna drive him home, maybe Chris can?" Your words start to slur together and Rodrick nods, "I'll go find him and tell him, stay right here, 'kay?" You nod and pour yourself another drink.
Rodrick shuffles through his now, very full, house and looks for Ben. He finally catches sight of the boy, but he's on his way out of the house. "Ben! Hold on-" Rodrick catches him walking out the door, Ben looks back and tilts his head to the side, "What's up dude?"
"Hey, do you have a ride home tonight?" "I was about to leave and drive mysel- oh shit I forgot about my sister, have you seen her?" Rodrick swallows nervously, "Yeah, we've been hanging out all night. Is she cool to stay here tonight? No funny business, I promise! She's just starting to get kind of drunk, and I need to stay home to like... supervise this party, you know?" Ben sighed and nodded, "Yeah, that's cool. Let me know if I need to come get her at any point. Don't do anything stupid, Rodrick. See you at practice tomorrow." Ben says, shutting the door after he does. Rodrick hopes he's not overly upset with him.
Making his way back to the dining room, Rodrick sees you beeline to the bathroom in front of him suddenly. He looks around confused for a moment before quickly following you to the bathroom, making sure you're okay. You slam the door behind you and Rodrick can hear the sound of you throwing up on the other side of the door. He winces and knocks on the door gently, "Hey, it's Rodrick, can I come in?"
There's a pause of silence. Rodrick can hear you cough, and then throw up again. After a minute or so passes, your voice can be heard weakly behind the door, "...come in". Rodrick opens the door, shoves himself in the bathroom and then quickly shuts it behind him again. You look up at him with tears in your eyes from throwing up, and the sudden motion of looking up makes you nauseous again, immediately throwing your head back towards the toilet bowl. Rodrick quickly kneels down next to you and holds your hair behind your head, and rubs your back.
After you're done throwing up, you look back at Rodrick, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw up like that. I can't hold my alcohol very well, I guess" You say, thoroughly embarrassed and wanting anything but to be here right now. Rodrick shushed you and tucked your hair behind your ear, "Here, I have a shirt you can change into, do you want pajama pants too? I'll get you water and you can lay down in my bed." He offers, holding you and slowly standing you up. You shake your head, "You don't have to do tha-" "I want to do that, do you need me to walk you upstairs? Or do you got it while I grab you some water?" He asks gently while walking you out the door. Your face turns pink and you sigh, knowing you couldn't avoid it now. "I got it, which room is yours?" "All the way down the hall and to the left, you'll know which one when you open it." He says, smiling and walking away to grab you a glass of water once he sees that you're walking up the stairs. Once you're up the stairs, you go to the room Rodrick told you to. Surprisingly, his room isn't terrible. Could it use some tidying up? Yeah, but for a teenage boy, it was fairly well kept. You sit down on his bed and wait for him, slipping your shoes off.
Rodrick opens the door, and cracks a small smile once he sees you sitting in his bed. You look up and give him a small smile back, grabbing the glass of water he offers you. He walks over and opens his wardrobe, grabbing you a black graphic tee and some pajama bottoms. When he hands you the clothes, you notice that he gave you one of his Loded Diper tee's, and you smile to yourself while your heart flutters. "I think I have these same pajama pants" You state, the pants looking very familiar. Rodrick laughs, "We should totally match, wouldn't that be cute?" He says, with a joking tone, but he meant it.
You looked up and giggled, "Turn around for a minute while I change" Rodrick's face goes red, and he nods before turning around. You take your shirt off and put on the Loded Diper shirt. It smells like cheap cologne and... Rodrick. You can't describe how he smells, but it makes your heart jump in your chest. You slide your pants off and put on the pajamas, looking up at Rodrick, who's still staring into the wall, focusing on anything but the fact that there's a hot girl changing in his room. "You can turn back around, Rodrick"
He turns around and his stomach flutters at the sight of you in his clothes. "Drink some water and lay down, you can go to bed if you want to. I'll sleep on the floor tonight." Rodrick says, taking a pillow off his bed and tossing it lightly on the floor. "I can sleep on the floor, Rodrick, I don't mind" "No, I'm not making a pretty girl sleep on the floor, do you think I'm crazy?" He says, almost offended at the thought of letting you sleep on his floor. You blush, and look away awkwardly with a quiet laugh. He smiles at you, and walks towards his door. "I'm gonna go tell people to go home, I'll be back up in a minute" You nod and he leaves the room.
Laying back in his bed, the situation you're in starts to sink in.
You're in Rodrick Heffley's bed. And you're wearing his clothes. What the fuck? Your heart pounds and you turn onto your side, closing your eyes and cuddling into his pillow. It wont hurt to close your eyes for a minute until Rodrick gets back.
Rodrick goes around downstairs, telling people that they should start to head home because it's getting late. People leave, and Rodrick has to kick a couple people awake off of his living room floor. He looks around at the mess that he'd have to deal with tomorrow and sighs. He'd probably just get Greg to help him with it.
Rodrick walks up the stairs and gently opens his bedroom door. He walks in, shutting the door behind him and then looks over to you, and his heart soars. He swears he can feel his heart pouring out of his chest, how was it possible for a girl to look so beautiful? He walks over to your sleeping figure and tucks your hair behind your ear, "You're so pretty.." He says quietly, and kisses the side of your head.
Rodrick makes himself a makeshift bed on his floor, staring at the small portion of your sleeping figure that he can see. "Goodnight" He says to you with a smile, turning over, thinking about you.
What an eventful night.
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hey!!! first fic in a while, let me know if you'd want a part two, thx!!
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embodyingchaos · 7 months
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hello, divine person, sorry if I bothered you a lot, but I'm dying for rodrick and you/n pregnant, could you make a headcanon of rodrick before and after the pregnancy and all this please
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❥ hiii! of course, i can! im so sorry this is late!
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rodrick heffley before & after pregnancy headcanons warnings: pregnancy stuff, gn but afab reader
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OKOK SO, rodrick before the pregnancy would include a lot, and i mean A LOT of panicking
he’d be like “oh my god, a baby? what are those? wait no… HOW DO YOU TAKE CARE OF THOSE THINGS?!?!?!?” and it would take him some time but he will eventually be used to it
he’d constantly ask you if you need anything or if you need him to do anything for you, you need the tv remote? he’ll grab it for you! you want chips? he’ll grab it for you! you want something that requires him to drive halfway across town? he’ll grab it for you!
he reads as much as he can about how to handle pregnancies and he even takes up a few actual jobs just to support you even if your parents were okay with your pregnancy and were paying for the hospital bills and stuff
rodrick would also never allow you to do things on your own, and its sweet! but it gets really annoying really fast
after the pregnancy, rodrick is definitely not getting enough sleep
every single time your baby would cry, he’d take care of it, i mean it is the least he could do after you literally pushed your child out of your vagina, which he wouldn’t have known was gonna happen if he hadn’t read up on those birthing guides(he thought babies were delivered by storks)
he would love you guys’ kid to little bits and pieces, getting the worst baby fever ever and would just want to constantly be with the little baby
rodrick would also already have planned where he’d take you guys’ kid to, LIKE THE WATER PARK AND THE ZOO AND CHUCK E CHEESE AND ALL THAT ADORABLE FAMILY ASS BULLCRAP AND ITS JUST SO HEART WARMING AND ADORABLE
you couldn’t ask for a better father for your child
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urmomsmainbitch · 2 months
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rodrick dating a swiftie!reader
requested: yes / no
warnings: i dont think any?? mental health tw in a/n
pronouns: nothing specific
a/n: hey guys so i'm not dead! in all honestly i locked myself out of this account, so i couldn't finish writing all of the requests from the last time i checkded in account. my home life has been kind of a shit show the past few months, but now that i found the password, i feel like writing might pull me out of the hole i've been in recently. if i dissappear again don't worry -- i def j locked myself out again :) also, i'm not a huge taylor fan, so i tried my best!
okay so basically
rodrick was not a swiftie at ALL before meeting you
like, he heard it on the radio and at school, but he never like went seeking out taylor swift
but the very SECOND he met you, he immideatly started looking up what songs she was famous for
id like to think that rodrick's love langauge is music (don't think i'm using that term right but whatevs)
and that he immideatly told you that he was trying taylor swift
and he listened to basically EVERYTHING.
the next time he saw you
all he did was talk about taylor swift with tou
something was just so adborable about seeing your face light up when he mentioned that he listened to her "because he wanted to think about you, and taylor swift makes him think of you"
tim mcgraw asf!
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kur0m1sblog · 11 months
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FANDOMS I WRITE FOR / CHARACTERS
❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀
An Extremely Goofy Movie
A House On The Bayou
Black Swan
Corpse Bride
Cobra Kai
Casper
Death Proof
Disenchantment
Diary of A Wimpy Kid
Epic (2013)
Frankenweenie
Gravity Falls
Green Eggs And Ham
Hell Boy (1, 2)
Hotel Transylvania (1, 2, 3, 4)
Inside Job
Inside Out
Igor
Kickass (1, 2)
Luca
Meet The Robinsons
MHA
Monsters Vs. Aliens
Monsters Inc.
Miraculous
Monsters University
Minions: Rise Of Gru
Osmosis Jones
Paranorman
Puss In Boots: The Last Wish
Ponyo
Pen15
Rise Of The Guardians
Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil
Sing (1,2)
Strange Magic
Spies In Disguise
Stranger Things
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire)
SCREAM (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
The Outsiders
The Iron Giant
The Incredibles (1, 2)
The Book Of Life
The Bad Guys
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
The Simpsons
The Breakfast Club
The Emperor’s New Groove
Teen Titans Go!
2012! TMNT
Whiplash
Wreck It Ralph
❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀
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moonlit-imagines · 2 days
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warnings:
a/n:
requested by anonymous
“This next song is dedicated to the love of my life, my one and only, my favorite person in the whole world, the reason I get out of bed almost every day—” Rodrick was abruptly cut off in his introduction by a band mate.
“Dude! Just start the song!” His guitar player shouted as you beamed brightly with your hands on your cheeks, trying to cover your insanely goofy smile.
“This is for y/n!” Rodrick yelled before singing the lyrics of a fictional boy band’s song, “You’re lookin’ for a boyfriend, I see that, gimme time you know I’m gonna be that!” He pointed at you, causing all eyes to fall onto you, and maybe cringe a bit at his singing but you loved it. Rodrick hopped off stage unexpectedly and gave you a dramatic kiss in front of the crowd, who awkward clapped in reaction. But you didn’t care what they thought of you two. All that mattered was that you were in love.
taglist: @volturi-stuff // @randomawesomeperson102 // @queen-destenie // @thatwaspossesion // @pappydaddy // @emilysprentisss // @ravenmoore14 // @wonderful-writer // @augustvandyne // @summersimmerus // @simsrecs // @xoxobabydolls // @wild-rose-35 // @petersgroupie // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @elenavampire21 //
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ava-imagines · 1 year
Note
Can you do Rodrick with a sister reader who got into a fight and got injured badly and decided to hide it,but Rodrick accidentally found out about it.
Of course!
(Platonic) Rodrick x Sister!Reader: Who hurt you? 🖤🎸
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Okay, so basically you got into a fight with one of your ex friends from school
Like you were minding your own business in the hallway and then the person came up to you, argued with you for a couple of seconds, and then the fighting broke out.
Despite you winning the fight (yay you!), your ex friend managed to really damage your arm.
You really didn't want Rodrick to find out because you knew fine well he'd fly off the handle
But he found out anyways because GREG can't keep his nose out of things 😒
Like, you were bandaging yourself up and Greg barged into your room uninvited and saw your arm. Despite you practically SCREAMING at him to not tell anyone, he loudly blabs it out at the dinner table
Of course, Susan goes on about how that person "wasn't very nice" (in her words) and that you should've reported her to the principal (you didn't report your ex friend because you really didn't want to bring the staff into this for some reason-)
Rodrick, however, was furious.
He wasn't mad at you, don't worry, he was mad at your ex friend. How dare she hurt you?!
You tried to calm Rodrick down but he wasn't gonna let someone get away with injuring his baby sister!!
So, the next day at school, you're just walking down the hall until you suddenly hear shouting.
You turn around the corner to see Rodrick loudly scolding your ex friend for injuring you and even threatened to punch her face in if she ever came near you again.
Although he was acting pretty violent, you couldn't help but appreciate how Rodrick stood up for you
And done!!
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murdrdocs · 4 months
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perv!virg!rodrick heffley who accidentally comes across your panties in the laundry room 18+
he’d been grumbling about doing his own laundry on the way to the basement, his laundry basket in hand while he mumbled complaints all aimed towards his mother who was attempting to teach him responsibility.
he was saying something along the lines of being in college not being synonymous with doing your own laundry, and then he runs into you on the stairs. the pretty neighbor that lives across from him. always sending him friendly smiles anytime you run into each other in the hallway.
a smile similar on your face now.
“oh, i’m sorry.” your voice is polite and sweet and rodrick is dazed instantly. he stutters out a reply, probably saying you’re not to blame, and then he staggers to the bottom of the stairs and into the empty laundry room.
he’s stuffed his clothes into the washer, put entirely too much detergent in there and started it up, and then he turns around and notices the pink thong on the floor.
he stands there for a second, weighing his options. and he decides that it would be the wrong thing to do to just keep it lying there for someone to take. he lives right across from you, so he’ll pick them up and return them to you of course.
but then the panties are heavy in his pocket, soft pink fabric out of place along the lint and loose change in his black jeans. that alone should be incentive for him to return them to you, but suddenly he’s unlocking his door and his roommate is out and he really can’t help the fact that he masturbates to the sight of your panties.
he tries to resist being an absolute creep about it, but rodrick has never been the best at impulse control and next thing he knows, he has the tiny number over his nose and he’s taking a deep inhale, incredibly satisfied that you’d dropped a dirty pair on your way out.
he’ll return them after. it’ll be a good lesson in responsibility, having been required to clean them and then muster up the courage to return them to their rightful owner.
… after he takes one more whiff.
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lexiswriter · 11 months
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i feel like the most unrealistic thing about diary of a wimpy kid is how nobody had a fat crush on rodrick.
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crljhnn · 9 months
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Sleepy kisses
Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x gender-neutral Reader
Summary: You like giving your sleeping boyfriend kisses on the cheek. Your boyfriend likes receiving kisses on the cheek. But then Rodrick gets greedy.
No physical description; No use of y/n
Word count: 1.9k
Warnings: A bit of conflict but no intense angst
[Posted on AO3 as well]
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In your opinion, your boyfriend is just the cutest when he is asleep.
There probably aren't a lot of people that would agree with you on that one. However, in your eyes, his slight drooling and open-mouth snores are just adorable.
Maybe this impression could be explained by the fact, that you both were still in the very early stages of your relationship. Having just made things official a few weeks ago.
That's why you couldn't resist giving Rodrick a small kiss on the cheek or the forehead whenever you found him asleep. Which, now that you think about it, has happened a lot more often in the last few weeks than it used to.
Rodrick was taking a nap after school when he made a great, revolutionary discovery.
You two had plans to hang out that day, so after your extracurriculars were done, you went straight over to the Heffleys' house. A difference you noticed that day, was that you weren't greeted at the door by your boyfriend like usual, but by his mother. After exchanging a few quick pleasantries with Susan you made your way up to his room.
Hearing someone come up the stairs Rodrick woke up. Assuming it was his mom he decided to act like he was still asleep, to avoid whatever chore she came up to assign him. So when he felt the bed dip beside him, created by you sitting down, he was surprised to hear your voice, instead of Susans, greeting him.
He was about to 'wake up‘ when he felt you gently placing a small kiss on his forehead, accompanied by a short gush about how cute he was.
And just like that Rodrick was hooked.
Everyone else calling him cute would have probably set him off, but when it came to you, every tiny compliment made butterflies burst in his stomach. You probably weren't even capable of offending him, even if you tried to.
After throughout research (aka fake sleeping a lot in your company) he came to the conclusion, that you just seemed to like to give him small kisses whenever he was dozing off.
Little did he know, that you were just as willing to give him those when he was awake. All he had to do was ask.
However, Rodrick being the dumb, lovesick puppy he was, decided that the most logical way to make use of this new information was to 'sleep‘ every time you entered a room. That way he would get the most kisses possible.
You on the contrary started to get worried. There seemed to be something wrong with your boyfriend lately. He was sleeping a lot more than usual, and that said something if you are talking about a lazy teenage boy, who even before took at least one nap a day.
Maybe it was a medical issue that caused him to get tired all the time. You hardly ever saw him not asleep. Was he not sleeping at night? Did he struggle with night terrors? Is there a way you can help?
When you first noticed his new sleeping habit, his naps were still limited to the first few minutes after you reached his house. The routine usually went something like that: When you arrived he would be asleep, you would gush a bit about him a little and give him a quick smooch. Then he would wake up about 10 minutes later.
But then it really started to pick up.
You would only leave the room for a short amount of time, for example, to use the bathroom or to get some water. Before, Rodrick always used to do things like getting you something to drink, for you. He was constantly jumping at every opportunity to do something nice. But all of a sudden he stopped. Now, after doing the small task yourself, you would return to find your boyfriend asleep.
And then he started to fall asleep with you right next to him. He would put on a movie or some music, then lay down on his bed or couch, and just minutes later he'd be out.
Another realization you have come to is that you didn't get to hear his soft snores anymore, which you used to adore so much. But that was likely because he didn't reach a deeper sleeping phase, right? That must be the reason, right?
Wrong.
One day you were coming over unannounced and that was when you saw it. While climbing up the stairs to Rodricks room you already called out a greeting, alarming your boyfriend of your presence. Like always, he threw himself straight onto his bed, closing his eyes.
What he hadn't realized, was that you were already able to see him from the position you were at.
And at that moment the self-doubt started. Did he not enjoy being around you? Was this his way of getting out of talking to you? Was he going to break things off?
Your thoughts kept spiraling, convincing you of the most horrible things imaginable. You felt hurt and tears were building up in your eyes embarrassingly fast. You had to sit down.
In the end, you came to the conclusion, that he never actually liked you and probably was making fun of you with his friends all along. Or he fell in love with someone new. Or he just decided one day that you were revolting. That must be it.
While you were drowning in self-doubt, Rodrick was getting impatient. Where was his kiss? Well, he knew he was probably pushing the limits a bit, but come on, that was no excuse for you to deprive him of his precious kisses.
Sneakingly opening one eye, he looked over at you, covering up his movements with a blatant fake yawn, trying to figure out what you were waiting for. What he wasn't anticipating, was to find you looking rather distraught, like you just saw a ghost and were about to start bawling at any moment.
Hastily he scrambles up and reaches for you.
"Baby, what's wrong? Oh my god don't cry, please don't cry." He was panicking. Rodrick had no idea how to comfort you. Now awkwardly petting your head. He was not prepared for this. Should he get his mom? She would surely know what to do. He didn't know how to console someone.
During his inner monologue, you were pulling away from him. "Why don't you like me anymore?" You sounded pathetic but were too upset to care about it right now.
Were you overreacting? Probably. But you're allowed to. Rodrick was your first everything. Your first real crush, your first real boyfriend, the first person you held hands with romantically, and your first kiss. You didn't know how to handle a situation like this, making everything quite overwhelming.
"What?" how the hell did you come up with that? He liked you, liked liked you. "Why would I be with you if I didn't like you? Who put this nonsense in your head? Was it Greg? I swear-"
"It was you! You don't like me anymore. What does your brother have to do with that?"
"Me?" What had he done to give you that impression, 'Come on Rodrick, think'.
"Yeah," sniffle "You don't want to spend time with me. And to think I was concerned for you! I was researching all the possible reasons for you to be so tired all the time. All while you were faking the whole time, solely to get out of hanging out with me! Why didn't you just say it outright? You coward!"
"That's not true!" Rodrick was nervous. How was he supposed to explain the real reason behind it all without making a fool out of himself? "We always still hung out after I woke up, so your theory doesn't even make sense. And I was always actually asleep!"
"That's not true. I literally just saw you throw yourself onto your bed the second you heard my voice."
"I was sleepwalking."
"Rodrick!"
"I wanted to scare you?" He was grasping at straws.
"Oh okay, that explains it all, sorry for the misunderstanding."
"Really? Great. So I was thinking we could- hey what are you doing?" Rodrick stopped in the middle of his sentence when he saw you standing up and crossing his room.
"I'm leaving. I can't force you to tell me the truth, but I also won't be sitting here playing 'happy relationship' with you."
You pulling away was the last thing Rodrick wanted, so he had no other option than, to tell the truth.
"No wait, I'm gonna explain. But it's embarrassing."
You cross your arms, still standing at the top of the stairs, ready to leave but again willing to hear him out.
He had no idea how to start.
„I just- how do I say this, look, you were right, I was fake sleeping.“
Honesty it is.
„Oh wow, I would have never been able to come up with this.“ You were indeed able to come up with this.
„But it was an accident, I swear!“
"Rodrick," You looked exhausted. "How the fuck do you fake sleep on accident?"
"It was an accident! At least the first time."
That doesn't explain much to you. The whole situation was still weird and confusing.
"So you just decided to make it a habit? And why were you fake sleeping in the first place?"
"The first time I had just woken up because I heard someone coming up the stairs. And because I was still in a daze from just taking a nap, I forgot our plans or that you were coming over. At least for a second. So when I heard footsteps I assumed it were my mom's and she was coming to bug me. So to avoid that, I acted like I was still asleep. Then I realized it was you, but before I could say something, you-"
"I?"
"You kissed me. And then I thought if you saw me sleeping again, you would also kiss me again, and you did. So I just continued acting asleep around you." Saying it out loud made him feel kind of ridiculous.
"Crazy suggestion, we are literally in a relationship, why didn't you just, I don't know, ask for a kiss?"
"Just ask?" he didn't believe that to be an option.
"Yeah. Like, 'Hey can I have a kiss?'."
"And then you would have kissed me?" It couldn't be that easy.
"Yeah? And you could also have had real kisses, rather than only ones on the cheek or forehead." Why was this so hard for him to grasp?
"Wow." He was still a mixture of skeptical and mindblown.
"So can we agree that from now on you just ask if you want something from me, instead of making me think you have some disease or lost interest in me?"
He nodded, still having a dazed, stupid look on his face.
"Thank you. And sorry getting so worked up over that."
But Rodrick was hardly listening to you, still stuck on the fact that he could just ask you for a kiss. He was pining over you for way too long, so now he had to sometimes remind himself that you were dating now. He had to try it out to believe it.
"Can I have a kiss?"
"Of course."
You lean over to give Rodrick a quick but sweet kiss.
"It worked, you kissed me."
Your boyfriend is an idiot. A cute idiot though.
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fbfh · 1 year
Note
omg i love painting my nails but i always end up chiping them because of ✨️ anxiety ✨️
RODRICK THINKS THAT'S THE CUTEST FUCKING THING EVER. There's tons of girls at your school with perfect manicures, but he likes the way yours chip as you use your hands, as you play his drums and help him study and pick at them. It looks more organic. It's like a comfy worn in pair of jeans, and he thinks it makes your hands look so pretty. plus it's an easy way for him to moniter how bad your anxiety has been recently. If you call him instead of texting because your nails are drying and by the end of the next day they're almost bare again, he knows to stay extra close to you. He knows to send you playlists and extra I love you texts throughout the day. He drives a little slower when you go places in his van and parks a little more carefully, and if you even look like you might want to talk, he's already so down. He'll blast your favorite album in an empty parking lot so you know no one can possibly overhear you, and lets you spill your guts. He'll hug you if you want, or kiss you, or just be a shoulder to cry on (literally and figuratively) and if you have any breathing exercises or coping strategies, he knows them like the back of his hand. He's always down to repeat affirmations to you and hype you up and ask what would Billie Joe Armstrong or Gerard Way do. He kisses the back of your hand while you drive and lets you pick the music and keeps the seat pushed all the way up for you, he'll stay up late texting you, even wake up from a dead sleep bc he has your ringtone and text tone set to the loudest one, just in case you need him. He knows people think he's a loser or a screw up, but the two things he's never going to half ass are music and being there for you. in spite of what people might think, he's a really good fucking boyfriend.
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agaypanic · 1 month
Note
can you do a rodrick one shot where you're best friends and you're in love with him but he's too obsessed over Heather to notice? and you finally tell him after he's upset about how her birthday party ended up . a little smutty
Wish I Was Heather (Rodrick Heffley X Reader)
Masterlist
Request Something!
Summary: Rodrick’s obsession with Heather Hills makes him blind to the fact that you, his best friend, have been in love with him for a long time. When Heather’s birthday party turns into a fiasco and Rodrick thinks no one will ever love him, you finally decide to tell him the truth.
A/N: kinda based on heather by conan gray, and a small reference to the og second verse of the song. not too canon compliant with dog days bc i dont really remember the plot of it. alludes to smut a bit but isn’t explicit
***
It was a miserable sight. As sad music played, you were lying in bed, curled up in Rodrick’s checkered hoodie. Your best friend was playing with his band at Heather Hills’ birthday party. It seemed that he was absolutely in love with her, and you couldn’t really blame him. Sure, she wasn’t the nicest person, but she was popular and beautiful. It never surprised you when you were talking to Rodrick about something, and all of a sudden, he would tune you out just because she was walking past him.
Sometimes, you wished you could be her so Rodrick would look at you that way. Even kiss her just to see what your best friend really saw in her.
If you had to guess, he’s probably confessing to her right now. He said he would, that tonight was the night. Although she had never done anything to you, and you didn’t want Rodrick to hurt, you slightly hoped that she’d stomp on his heart just so you wouldn’t lose him to her.
It wasn’t fair. Him being so mesmerized by Heather Hills when you were right there.
You groaned as you felt your phone buzz in your back pocket. You didn’t want to be bothered, yet you still reached into your pocket and pulled out the device, squinting at your suddenly bright screen.
Roddy
can i come over?
You knit your brows in confusion as you read the message. Of all people, you weren’t expecting Rodrick to text you. And of all messages, you didn’t expect him to ask to come over. To be honest, you were pretty sure that he was busy trying to shove his tongue down Heather Hills’ throat.
Before you could respond, he sent another text.
Roddy
pls :(( 
You
what’s up?
Roddy
party sux
You sighed. Part of you liked the fact that Rodrick was turning to you to cure his boredom, but you wished he saw you as more than entertainment. You wished even more that you didn’t give in to him so easily.
You
window’s unlocked
Less than a minute after you sent your message, you jumped at the sound of something, or rather someone, at the aforementioned window. You turned your head just enough to see Rodrick hanging onto your drain pipe as he opened the window.
“Hey.” He said quietly, falling through the opening and onto your floor. You turned to lay flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling while Rodrick flopped onto the bed next to you.
“Hi.” You looked over at Rodrick, finding his face a mess. His messy eyeliner was messier than usual, and he looked exhausted and miserable. “What happened to you?”
“Heather Hills.” The name was said with a pout and whine instead of the usual captivated tone.
“What about her?” You didn’t mean to ask, not wanting to hear about his obsession with the girl any more than you’ve already had. But curiosity got the best of you.
“I pretty much ruined her birthday party. Now there’s no way she’ll ever go out with me.” You snorted, wondering what he must have done. Rodrick looked offended at your reaction, but continued. “It was a complete disaster. I had Ben play the drums so I could sing, and we did that one Justin Beiber song. I tried to hold her hand, but… I ended up knocking over an ice sculpture.” You couldn’t help but laugh. It was strange how the misfortune of the person you loved regarding the girl he was obsessed with was bringing you out of your own miserable mood. “Then she tried hitting me with a microphone stand, but she hit the chocolate fountain. After that, I thought I should make a run for it.”
You were full-on belly laughing at the visuals Rodrick was giving you, no matter how much you tried to contain yourself. Rodrick frowned at you, so you slapped your hand over your mouth to muffle yourself.
“Only something like that could happen to you, Roddy.” You giggled, but it died down when his lip started to tremble. This scared you; you rarely ever saw Rodrick like this. “What? What’s wrong?”
“What if that was my one chance?” He asked, his voice small. He turned onto his side, facing you and curling up. You mirrored his position. “Like, what if that was the only shot I’d ever get with a girl, and I just blew it? What if no girl ever wants to be with me?”
“Oh, that’s not true, Roddy.” You cooed, patting his arm. “Don’t be dramatic, girls like you.”
“Oh yeah? How do you know?”
“I just know.”
“Prove it.” He took your silence as confirmation that you couldn’t, and he clicked his tongue. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“Rodrick.” You sighed, shifting closer to him. “Girls do like you.” You figured now would be as good a time as any to tell your best friend that you were in love with him, even if it was just to make him feel better. “I know one girl likes you, at least.”
“Who?” He gave a short laugh of disbelief, looking down at you. 
You were too scared to say it. So, instead, you reached for his hand, slowly interlocking your fingers as you looked at him. Rodrick didn’t say anything, either trying to come up with a response or not getting your little hint at all.
“I know I can never be Heather.” You start, the both of you cringing a bit at the name. It seemed that the girl brought a sour taste to both of your mouths now. “But I love you for you, Rodrick.” Feeling brave, your free hand went to cup his jaw, and he seemed to relax under your touch. Something came over you, and you bit your lip to try to contain yourself. “I can show you…”
For someone who didn’t usually get clues, Rodrick seemed to know what you were alluding to, his eyebrows raising slightly in surprise. He seemed like he was about to agree, but he stopped himself. 
“You don’t have to do that… You know, just to make me feel better.”
“I want to.” You responded quickly. “I mean, if you want to, obviously. But if you don’t, then we can just pretend I never-”
Rodrick cut you off by pressing his lips to yours, and they soon moved in tandem. Hands turned greedy with their grips, and soon Rodrick was rolling to lay on top of you.
You’d probably regret this later. But for now, you didn’t care. Even if you weren’t Heather or whoever Rodrick probably wished you were, you were the one that was in your bed with him. You could worry about the aftermath and consequences later because all that mattered now was you and Rodrick and what was about to happen as you took off your clothes, starting with Rodrick’s hoodie that he gently pulled off of you.
And as he kissed you and grasped at your hips, Rodrick realized that the girl of his dreams was never Heather. She was right beneath him, shuddering at his touches and whispering sweet nothings that would be everything to him.
***
Rodrick Heffley Taglist: @tweedledipshit
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queerpumpkinnn · 6 months
Text
Kinktober 5th: Goldmine
aka hair pulling with Rodrick Heffley
2k words
Summary: Rod learns something new.
Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x reader
Warnings: hair pulling obviously, choking, vaginal fingering, unprotected piv sex (don't do this at home kids), smoking, thigh riding, lots of hickeys/biting, scratching, lots of sweet praise but it's also kinda condescending, this is just porn with very minimal plot, let me know if I missed anything!
While reading, I recommend you listen to the altar is my hips - a Spotify playlist by me!
~
"Y'think I should get a leather jacket?"
Your shoulders shook under the weight of Rodrick's arm as you chuckled. "Why, you get an idea for a costume?"
"Absolutely. Even got the name for it." You could see the familiar smirk he wore even as your eyes remained on the screen. Smoke billowed in your peripheral, the smell of his near-finished cigarette long since clung to your clothes.
"It'd be a cute couples costume too," he continued, "you could be Tina Gray."
You turned to look at him. "Oh could I now?"
"Yup." He grinned as he put his cigarette out. "You've got the bedroom personality for it too."
You swung a pillow at his face, but Rodrick easily caught it and tossed it behind him. You huffed in false annoyance, falling back into your spot curled up under his arm.
His hand fell absentmindedly to your hair, gently twirling strands around his finger. The sensation makes your eyelids heavy, getting sleepy as he continued to soothe you.
Until you felt a sharp tug. Your eyes flew open, and you audibly gasped. Your entire body froze, and you curse yourself when Rodrick turns his head. A soft "oh?" leaves his lips, which are curled up into a curious smile. It had only been playful tug, but that was before he knew you'd react like that.
"That's not how you do it," you breathe, ghost of a grin teasing your lips.
"Yeah?" His voice was a condescending lilt. "How d'you do it?"
Instead of speaking, you take hold of his wrist, pushing it towards the back of your head. His fingers thread into your roots and he takes a fistful, tugging slowly. Your eyes flutter shut and your lips part in a deep sigh.
Before your eyes close, you catch a glimpse of your boyfriend's reaction. His eyes are wide and full of amusement, and he's smirking incredulously. His brows raise, and you can see the gears turning in his brain.
"That's interesting," Rodrick mumbled, almost more to himself. "I wonder..."
He climbs up over you, legs caging in on either side of your hips. His foot kicks the TV remote onto the floor but Elm Street is long forgotten. His hold on your hair returns, the tingling in your scalp pulling a weak noise from your throat.
"Now, what would happen..." Rodrick's thought trails off as his fingers ghost over your throat, touch only featherlight until the pads of his fingers find your pulse points and press. Your breathing is shaky and your vision begins to blur, but your hands still fly to his shoulders. You might have even been a little embarrassed at how your hooded eyes began to cross if not for the fact that it just felt so good.
"Aw, y'like that?" Rodrick lilts, his face pulling closer to yours. Heat creeps up your neck.
"Y-yeah," you attempt to nod, but you aren't given much room for movement.
"I like that too, baby." He murmurs against your mouth before he kisses you slowly, tasting of nicotine and gum. They were gentle, teasing kisses, but quickly gave way to a more desperate rhythm as his tongue glided over your lower lip. He hummed a deep note when you let him in, when you whimpered as he started sucking on your tongue.
You let out a disappointed noise when Rodrick lets go of you, rolling back to sit but it's forgotten when he pats his thigh. You quickly oblige, skin heated and brain frazzled.
As soon as you're sat on his leg, the friction to your clit has you gasping into his mouth. Almost involuntarily, your hips began to roll against him, so slowly but enough to make your head swim and heat boil in your gut.
"Oh, sweetness," Rodrick murmurs in between kisses, "so needy already? I've barely done anything."
He knows he doesn't need to do much. Just a few words- or a tug of the hair- and you'd be turned into a pile of mush. He knows you too well, and he loves having that effect over you.
Even though he's teasing you, you can't be bothered to care, muttering an mhm and rutting your hips faster. Your hands fall from his shoulders to his chest, then trail to his thigh to ground yourself.
"Atta girl, keep goin'." Rodrick murmurs in your ear, licking a stripe down the shell of it, planting soft kisses wherever his lips wandered. "'M right here baby, that's it, yeah, good girl."
Rodrick's encouragement was sweet honey to your ear, and a sickening contrast to the hand that hand re-found purchase at your scalp, tilting your head back so that he could teethe at your neck, soft plucks of skin turning into bruising. Deft hands made work of your top, leaving your chest bare.
Your rutting became increasingly frustrated; your thighs burned and you weren't getting any closer to your high.
"Rod... need..." your words were mumbled and breathless, and your brain was too cloudy to be fully coherent anyway.
"Hm? Couldn't hear you, bunny, say that one more time?"
"Need more," you cried, hands pushing into Rodrick's hair when his tongue laved over your nipple.
"More what, baby?" He lilted, cupping and pinching your other tit lovingly. He groaned when your fingers clutched his hair tighter.
"Need you, Rod please..." you sighed, tugging at his wrist.
Rodrick chuckled. "Baby, I don't think I can do that. Might hurt you if I don't get you nice and prepped, yeah? How about we start with fingers?"
"Anything, please," you babbled, nestling your head into the crook of his shoulder.
"Alright, alright, I got ya. Let's get these off, hm?" He tugged at the belt loop of your pants. They were off in record time, along with your underwear, leaving your entire body bared to him. You felt naked, more than just literally.
Once you were situated on his lap again you tried pulling on the hem of his shirt. "Off," you mumbled. Happily he complied, and you took the opportunity to lean forward and plant loving kisses to his neck, his collarbone.
You didn't realize when you'd risen up off your behind that it gave Rodrick the space to slip a hand between your legs, pulling a squeak out of you, muffled against his jaw.
"Aw, so messy baby. A little hair pulling did all this?"
You knew that it was a few other things, but you were so far gone you gave him a whiny 'yeah' anyway. Rodrick's fingers massaged your entrance, gathering slick and smothering it around your clit, making obscene noises- probably on purpose.
"So fuckin' wet, sweet, y'hear that?" Rodrick presses kisses to your pulse point, up to your jaw, then kisses you deep. Swallowing your moans into his mouth as the kiss turns messy.
"Please, Rod..." you're breathless and your pleas are barely coherent, but Rodrick knows exactly what you're asking for. You keel when you feel a finger glide into you, curling up towards your stomach.
"Yeah, good fuckin' girl." Rodrick's grin widens at your reaction when a second finger joins the first. "Always so eager, hm? That's my girl."
"Yeah, 'm your girl," you pant, hips canting to meet his hand.
"That's right," he coos, thumb tracing wide circles over your clit. "So proud of you, my girl."
"Rod," you whine, "need you."
"Hm?" He hums between nips to your collarbone. "You have me."
You shake your head vigorously. "Need you inside."
This gets Rodrick's attention. His fingers slow, while his free hand moves from your hair to his pants. He makes quick work of his pants, pulling his half-hard cock out from his boxers. You watch as he takes his fingers, soaked from your cunt, and wrap them around himself, stroking slowly. His head falls back against the couch, lips hanging open and you feel the sudden urge to bite them.
Before you get the chance, however, Rodrick is pulling you forward, lining himself up to take you. Slowly, so slowly, he runs the tip of his cock through your folds, smearing your slick around. You jerk when his head catches on your clit, sending electricity shooting up your spine.
"Rod..." you whine against his neck, "please."
"Please what?" You want to slap him for the knowing glint in his eye, but that was for another day.
"Please fuck me."
And who was he to deny you? Guiding your hip, Rodrick eased you down on him, guiding you but letting you set your own pace. The stretch set your loins on fire, but it was heaven.
Your head kicked back, and you let your voice have a mind of its own as you sunk down on him. Long and pornographic, and Rodrick matched it. You felt him throb inside of you.
"Fuck, sound so pretty." Rodrick started rolling his hips into you, and you cried out at the sensation. "Yeah, that's it. Moan like a fuckin' whore for me, c'mon."
And who were you to deny him? You had the house to yourself, and the name alone sent your brain into overdrive. He filled you up so nicely, and the drag of his cock inside of you made your skin tingle with delight.
"Rod, yeah, oh- just like that, ohmygod-" your voice was caught in your throat when Rodrick, with the usual knowing twinkle in his eye, takes a fistful of hair and tugs you forward into a sloppy kiss.
All of the sensations- that Rodrick was giving you- were sending you closer and closer to tumbling headfirst off of that ledge. The sting in your scalp, his tongue sliding against yours, the sounds of wet slaps and your combined moans. The smell of cigarettes and the heat of his skin under your fingers. The head of his cock piledriving into your cervix again and again and again.
"Rod I- oh god, I'm gonna- oh, so close- Rod please," you pant into his mouth, fingers raking down his chest and leaving faint red lines in their wake.
"I gotcha," he grunts, hand snaking between your bodies to press circles over your clit. You can hear it in his voice that he's holding back. You don't want him to. "That's it, baby, come for me. Make a mess on my cock, c'mon."
That extra pleasure is all it takes to have you diving headfirst into a mind-numbing orgasm. Your eyes screw shut, and all you can feel is Rodrick. Shaky hands rest on his shoulders, holding on for dear life as hot pleasure courses through you.
You're acutely aware of the hot spurts hitting your cervix, and the fluids seeping out of you, but your body is still tingling all over. Your voice has long since become scratchy, but that doesn't stop you from whimpering and crying as he coaxes you through it.
"Good girl, did so good for me, yeah?" His grip on your hair is no longer a grip, but gentle, soothing strokes, almost as if to apologize.
You hummed, dropping your forehead against his shoulder as you breathe. The smell of sex had permeated the air around you, and you were suddenly very aware of how sweaty you'd become.
"Think we need a shower, baby, c'mon." Rodrick nudged your head.
You wanted to, you felt sticky, but your body was on fire, this time with a less-than-pleasurable ache. Begrudgingly, you lifted yourself off of his now soft dick, hobbling down to reach for your clothes and then to the nearest bathroom.
The shower was peaceful, and the water was soothing on your muscles. You both worked in a comfortable silence.
"Well, I was right." Rodrick finally said.
"About what, the hair pulling?"
"Nope."
You turned around to face him, head tilted in confusion. His mouth was curled upwards and his eyes were lifted in a smile.
"You do have the bedroom personality of Tina Gray."
~
Rodrick Heffley Masterlist
Kinktober 2023 Masterlist
Miscellaneous Characters List
Main Masterlist
~
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lollibumblebee · 6 months
Note
heyy can I request headcanon for dating rodrick heffley with female reader??
a/n: Okkkk, i love this one sm
DATING RODRICK HEADCANNONS:
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Unlike the mean ass personality facade he puts up for other people, this man is such a softie bro
you would find out that information pretty quick into the relationship
His mum ADORES you, like she thinks you're the best
he would lay in your lap while you play with his hair
you always catch him staring at you with such an adoring expression
manz is insecure
when he sees you with other ppl, like hitting on you, he will cry about it later
like he would act all tough and shit in front of them, but no
holding your hand in public is his favourite thing in the world
like PDA makes this kid feel so wanted it's unbelievable he loves it
random nights in his van at a random gas station fucking around.
If he's feeling confident, he will reach up (or down) and grab your boobies lmaoooo
no shame
he loves it when you watch his band rehearse
he teaches you how to play the drums and its so cute
he's so gentle with you its so cute
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turvi · 10 months
Note
Ypu said you wanna write for rodrick and I wanna request.
So rodrick with a good girl neighbour reader (think- gwen stacy type) and rodrick does all kinda stuff to impress her even at school so yea.
I'm a sucker for goofy! Himbo! Rodrick
Thank you for the request. I hope you enjoy this
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"BOYS! OUR NEW NEIGHBOURS ARE HERE!" Susan yelled and huffed when none of the boys responded to her call. Greg was busy filming Rowley trying to fall from his chair. Rodrick was in the basement and didn't hear his mam call out to him as he was drowned in the sounds of his drums.
A few minutes later, Rodrick finally comes up to drink water, only to see the new neighbours...most importantly, their daughter.
Rodrick didn't realise he had dropped his drumsticks on the floor until his mother was tugging him towards the living room and introduced him to the neighbours, the L/ns. And there she was with a sweet, gentle smile telling him her name.
"Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Y/n," she said, offering her hand.
Rodrick held her hand, not wanting to let go, but he had to since both his and her parents were watching them. "I-uh...I am Rodrick."
He scowled when he heard Greg snickering behind him. He wanted to hide so badly just because he couldn't tell his name to a pretty girl. But she doesn't laugh at him. She squeezed his hand, letting him know it was ok.
It was, at this moment, he wondered if it was too soon to ask her to marry him? He shook his head. He was being silly. Just because a girl was nice to him doesn't mean he should fall in love with her.
Then two days later, he heard knocking on the garage door. He sighed, thinking it was one of the upright elder people wanting him to keep the voice low. When he opened the garage door, he almost let it go when he saw Y/n standing there, the harsh sunlight pouring down his lawn.
He quickly let her in and introduced her to his bandmates, who were just beaming at the sight of Rodrick being awkward and shy around her.
"Hey, I was just walking by and heard you guys play. I was wondering if you could teach me how to play drums. I already talked to your mom."
His friend patted his shoulder. "Rodrick is our drummer. He is a great teacher too, he can teach you. Right, Rodrick?"
Rodrick got out of his daze when he heard his name. "Uh...yeah...yeah...I drum...drums" It was like he never learnt English in school, and Rodrick hated how he sounded.
"Ok, tell me when you are free. I'll come."
"Actually, we are leaving, so you guys can continue. It was nice meeting you." his friend winked at him, leaving the two alone. Rodrick knew he couldn't do much but look at her knowing his mom was peeping through the basement door. But he was just happy seeing her and talking to her.
He was happy they were bonding. He would teach her to play the drums. She would spellcheck his assignments. Rodrick knew she had a place in his heart when she would gently correct his spellings.
Slowly he loved holding her hands, her smile, her nose scrunch, the way she snorted before she laughed, and her soft sweaters that always smelled nice.
He didn't realise when he fell in love, or was he always in love? When he would go shopping with his family, he would spot things that he knew Y/n might like. He even saw a jewellery shop, and his heart dropped looking at the prices of the rings. But then, he had yet to win her heart. He was determined to buy this ring.
Of course, by the time he would be rich enough to buy the ring, he would already have your heart. But Rodrick didn't know he already had Y/n's heart, and she knew it was always going to be his.
@milivanili99 @cecekcecekceckceckceck @maneskai @isaentremundos @autumn3l3ctr0swings @mikulovingtrash
A/N: If you like this REBLOG AND COMMENT
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