#dick grayson chat
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i think batfam survival rates in zombie apocalypse would go something like
Bruce: he’s absolutely fine he’s literally bruce wayne he lives on an island??
Jason: has a 🤫🧏 pact with Dick
Dick: has a 🤫🧏 pact with Jason
Tim: he either gets got first or absolutely last
Damien: prolly with Bruce thru it all. Damian would survive 100%
Alfred: immune. survives (obviously, he’s Alfred, what do you expect?)
#batman#apocalypse#batfam#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth#guys ignore the excessive amount of tags i crave validation from the internet#🤫🧏#chat is this canon
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Has everyone seen this Nightwing and Red Robin short? Please everyone watch this Nightwing and Red Robin short. Tim's little grin. Dick's scorecard and Tim's pout. Dick tugging Tim's cape. This is everything.
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Dick: What do you have?
Damian: A knife.
Dick: And what is the rule about giving Damian knives?
Jason: Don't give Damian knives until he stops trying to kill people.
Dick: And yet?!
Jason: He was very persuasive!
Dick: What did he say?
Jason: He said "please."
Dick, in tears: You'll say "please" to Jason and not to me?
Damian: He gives me knives.
#satire#chat#jason todd#dick grayson#damian wayne#give damian more weapons#brotherly bonding (violent)
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#dc edits#batman#Tim Drake#Damian al Ghul Wayne#Dick Grayson#Cassandra Cain#Jason Todd#batfamily#BatFam#bi tim drake#spins edits#batfam texts#ngl im proud of the group chat title#i think im hilarious
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Ghostwriter was really asking for soup time at this point.
He had apologized for his first Christmas truce before, last year he even convinced Clockwork to help him make a copy of the original work he had ruined.
So why in god’s gracious earth did he wake up to Amity Park being in a hallmark movie.
Danny glared as the people milled about the center of town like they haven’t since the portal opening.
It was unnerving, the only thing really missing from the equation was some out of town love interest or something.
“Hey, excuse me.”
Tall and built with black hair and blue eyes.
Oh you got to be-
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dick tried to make himself look more charming as the guy he approached turned around.
When he heard that the justice league were getting concerning calls about a town In Illinois, he saw an out from the Christmas gala.
Sure Dick enjoyed the season, but the fact that he has to spend a large amount of the winter season putting up a front as the perfect firstborn was not something he wanted to do unless he had to.
That being said, the town was a bit unnerving. He hadn’t seen anything supernatural per say but the constant cheer is something he had only ever seen on the silver screen of his home. He had tried to approach several different people only to be met with seasons greetings and promptly ignored when as they ran off to do whatever small towns do for the holidays.
This guy at least wasn’t plastering a smile on his face.
“Hey, excuse me I’m new in town and looking around, my name is-“
“Let me guess, Rupert or Orlando or some shit.”
“What?”
“Well it has to be pompous and annoying. It’s kind of a trend and shit last time I checked.”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about man I just wanted to ask-“
The man snorted as he left, throwing over his shoulder with a large amount of snark,
“For a tour around town? A place to stay? A friendly face? Sorry man, man but I’m not interested. The town square is full, ask someone else I have a date with a caffeine addiction.”
Dick watched a bit stupefied as the guy weaves into the ground and out of his eyesight.
“Well he seemed charming.”
Dick raised his phone to the earpiece and sighed,
“Yeah well, he’s the first person who didn’t sound like they weren’t on a script so far. I didn’t even know that midwesterners took Christmas so seriously. How long until you reach town Jay?”
I’m reaching midtown just about now. It looks like Santa took a shit on every-“
There was a sudden squeal of tires as the line cut.
Oh no.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason gasped as he tried to calm his breath glancing at the guy he almost hit on his bike.
Jesus Christ that was close.
“Shit man are you alright?”
“Peachy. Always liked pancakes and all that.”
~~~~~~~
Danny felt a blush hit him as the behemoth of a guy let out a snort. It was embarrassing that he didn’t notice the guy until he almost became a smear, the dude was built like a tank and wearing a red helmet.
“I shouldn’t’ve taken that turn that quickly.. sometimes forget I’m not at home.”
“Oh yeah? Where’s home for you?”
“Gotham if you believe that.”
“Explains why you drive like you’re chased by death.”
“You have no idea..”
He took off his helmet with another snort and shake of the head. A white wisp in a sea of black shook out while mirthful blue eyes met his.
Crap..
“Name’s Jason. You are?”
“Nunya,”
The guy raised a brow mildly confused.
“Pardon?”
“Nunyabusinessbye!”
Danny took off before he was done with the sentence. He could feel eyes on his retreat for the second time today.
‘Jesus, smooth recovery Fenton.’
~~~~~~~~
Tim rubbed his eyes as he listened to his older brothers bicker over the coms.
He couldn’t understand the issue with the surveillance! All the cameras and mics are properly functioning but for some reason everything is corrupted and it’s driving Tim up a wall!
A break, Tim needed a break from this Airbnb and something caffeinated.
~~~~~~~~
‘Just ten minutes, ten minutes and he could get his drink, he could rant to his friends on the group chat afterwards and wait out the story. ‘
And with as much bravo as any tired young adult, he entered the shop.
Danny almost left the cafe as he heard another unfamiliar voice bellow out.
“What do you mean you don’t have coffee, it’s a coffee shop!”
Blue eyes, black hair, surprisingly smaller than the first two and eye bags that could rival Danny some nights.
Danny was done.
Fuck the treaty this was war.
#writing prompt#dp x dc#danny phantom#danny fenton#batman#dc x dp#jason todd#shipping#tim drake#brain dead#dead on main#dick grayson#dead of night#I just came up with a name for dick and Danny bc don’t know if there’s one#meanwhile in Gotham:#damin wayne#:would you like to make an alliance with me?#Sam and Tucker as her plus one to the gala: yes we very would#damian: good good I’ll add you to the group chat#ghostwriter#: I did a good thing for Danny#kitty: oh yeah like what gw?#ghostwriter: :> you’ll see :3#he really was trying to be nice to Danny#and now a couple of cute guys are investigating the tow just like Danny wanted to happen Uwu#Danny just wants the season to be over#is he ace?#aro?#both or neither?#up to you!
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Dick: *ordering the other batkids around*
Steph: yes, mum
Dick: *splutters* why am i the mum?
Jason: Dickface, have you seen your motherhenning?
Steph: Plus, Babs has to be the dad
Dick: But I'm dating Wally!
Tim: You and Babs are divorced. Wally's the fun step-dad.
Dick: *sighs* Well, fine. What about B?
*all fall silent*
Steph: He's the weird, edgy uncle
From chapter 5 of my fic World Without Grown-Ups on ao3.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/46697407/chapters/117609160
#dc comics#young justice#fanfic#batfamily#dc universe#batman#dick grayson#jason todd#stephanie brown#birdflash#tim drake#dc#dcu#ao3 link#cocopop's fics#chat post#cocopop's posts
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If becoming Robin had an interview:-
(Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie and Damian)
Batman- What is your motivation for becoming Batman's partner?
Dick- Robin. Batman's partner is Robin.
Batman-
Batman- Right, Robin, what are your motivations?
Dick- *Scrunching up nose in concentration* Uhm- Uhhh- RIGHT! dead parents :D
Batman-
Batman- WHAT?
Dick- OH! sorry, i forgot, *Grin*, seeing dead parents DIE in front of me :))
Batman- I-
Batman- *softly* Dick,
Dick- Aww, I got it wrong...
Batman- You can't-
Dick- What's your motive?
Batman- Making sure nobody else has to suffer like I did but-
Dick- My motive is to make sure nobody else has to suffer like I did, Batman sir *salute*
Batman-
Batman- Dick, just because we have similar starts to our Vigilante career-
Dick- And to find Tony Zucco.
Batman- There it is-
-------------------------
Batman- Out of all the other kids, why should I hire you?
Jason- OUT OF ALL THE OTHER- Listen here mister-
Batman- waIT that was just to sound interviewy-
Jason- SOME RANDOM CREEPY WEIRDO KIDNAPPED ME OFF THE STREETS-
Batman- *softly* Oh Gotham...
Jason- YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WENT "hey kid, wanna punch some baddies?"
Batman- *suppressing a smile* Are you done?
Jason- THE HELL IF I AM- Y'know what, why should I work FOR YOU??? WHY NOT- LIKE- THE JOKER OR SOMETHING?
Batman-
Batman- Because THE JOKER IS A HORRIBLE MAN???
-------------------------
Batman- *Gruff* What are your qualifications?
Tim- Well, Photography, Stalking, and I like to think I'm quite smart but I can be stubborn at times-
Batman- *Bored* Mhm....
Tim- I-
Tim- To hell with this, If you don't hire me, I'm telling everyone you're Bruce Wayne >:(
Batman- *Raise of eyebrow* And what if I stop you?
Tim- Unless you tie me down for the rest of my life or kill me, you can't
Batman-
Batman- I need your height and weight for the suit.
Tim- yES!
-------------------------
Batman- Any previous experience?
Stephanie- Well, I was Spoiler before, and I have a close relationship with the previous Robin-
Batman- *Interested* Hrn, would you say the previous Robin, cared for you???
Stephanie- Uh, yes sir???
Batman- Don't call me sir.
Batman- This may be a strange question, but would said person be jealous if you became Robin?
Stephanie-
Stephanie- I suppose, but I like to think-
Batman- You're hired.
Stephanie- REALLY?????
Batman- Really.
Stephanie-
Stephanie- Do I get paid, ma'am?
-------------------------
Batman- What is your opinion on killing?
Damian-
Damian- Well, I suppose, hypothetically speaking,
Batman- We're not talking about hypothetically.
Damian- *under breath* interrupt me again-
Batman- Sorry?
Damian- HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, I think some people deserve to die,
Batman- Well yes, but would you deliver the final blow?
Damian-
Damian- *deep annoyed inhale*
Damian- *Slowly, as if remembering difficult lines* I believe that context matters,
Batman-
Batman- Could you please answer the question, i have other volunteers waiting-
Damian- Excuse me?
Batman- I meant-
Batman- *Sigh* Tim wanted to volunteer for the interview just in case-
Damian- *Pushing table and standing up* OH REALLY?
Batman- *Painfully tight* Damian-
Damian- WELL YOU CAN TELL DRAKE THAT IF HE DOESN'T BACK OFF, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET BLOOD ON PENNYWORTH'S NICELY CLEANED CARPETS-
Batman- DAMIAN DON'T YOU DARE-
Damian- *Impassive stare*
Batman-
Damian-
Batman-
Damian- I'm going out.
Batman- WHERE-
Damian-
Damian- *Run's out*
Batman- WAIT-
Batman- *Following after* YOU'RE HIRED- DAMIAN YOU LITTLE- STOP!!!
#batfam#batfamily shenanigans#damian wayne#dc comics#tim drake#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#stephanie brown#Dick is just trying to qualify for the job- And he and Bruce are similar anyway right???#(No Dick is my happy-angry child)#(Bruce is just Angsty-Angry)#God Jason really brought up the Joker huh#Bruce is so done#Yes I used Gotham as a curse. Fight me#Tim is done with Bruce's shit#Like- He's doing it for you Bruce. You ungrateful baby 🙄#Poor Stephanie Lmaooo#She didn't get paid tho. L in the chat for her.#Damian needs a chill pill-#Don't worry#Bruce stopped him before he committed atrocious/adorable acts <3#But he got the job-#hurrah? I mean the criminals ain't happy the ten year old partner got a KATANA-
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Each batkid befriends Danny and no one knows they all befriended the same ghost guy
Until one day someone invites him to a dinner and they all just glare at each other because they know deep in their bones they met him first
It explodes into an argument pretty quickly because goddamnit they can't share everything
Imagine the spiderman point meme but a bunch of bats pointing batarangs
#dc x dp#danny fenton#dp x dc#danny phantom#dc#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra wayne#stephanie brown#duke thomas#damian wayne#bruce wayne#bruce doesnt know whats going on#alfred and danny chat about food coming back to life
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'four brothers, one crush, and absolutely zero brain cells to be found' by Ms_Trickster
Author: @ms-trickster
Tim: i need to know what’s the best way to a boy’s heart
Damian: Easy. The best way to someone’s heart is through their ribcage. Everyone knows that.
Damian: Come on Timothy, I expected better from you.
Dick: I-
Dick: Try again
Jason: baby bat has a point
#ao3#fanfic#fic rec#batfam#dcu#batfamily#batman#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#damian wayne#chat fic#dc red robin#batbros#batboys#timkon#batkids#batsiblings#bat bois#batbrothers
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Genji blorbo hyperfixation (again)
#Overwatch#OVW#genji shimada#Genji#overwatch genji#doodle#fandom#ovw fanart#fanart#Im circling between Dick Grayson and Genji so like rn its them kinda chatting over whos the next blorbo
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Alfred follows the "No Guns, No Killing" rule in the same way a parent plays along with Santa being real.
#dc comics#dc batman#dc universe#alfred pennyworth#alfred#bruce wayne#batman#the batman#robin#nightwing#dick grayson#batgirl#barbra gordon#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#tim drake#damian wayne#jason todd#red hood#imagining alfred and jason just chatting about guns casually
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Tim in lonely place of dying: Dick, if you won't be Robin then I'll have to be Robin, Batman needs a Robin.
Dick: Fine, OK
Tim in Battle for the Cowl: Dick, if you won't be Batman, then I'll have to be Batman, Gotham needs a Batman.
Dick: wait --
#asdg lkj idk why this amuses me#tims first problem oslving strategy: see if dick will do it#tim drake#battle for the cowl#a lonely place of dying#dick grayson#robin#batman#chat format#incorrect dc quotes
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Batman: *adopts Robin*
Every sane person:
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Wally: Idiot
Dick: Ur mom
Wally: No yours
Dick: I’m adopted. Why would you say that.
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[in the batcave]
Bruce: [checking off names on a clipboard like a middle-school class trip chaperone] …Jason, Kate, and Duke. That’s everyone. [checks the list again] where’s Tim? It’s unusual for him to be late.
Everyone: [looks around in confusion]
Bruce: [sighs] someone call him
Babs: already calling
[tense silence as the phone rings]
Tim: [on speaker phone] yeah?
Bruce: [immediately] we have a meeting scheduled. Where are you?
Dick: [leans forward towards the phone] are you ok?
Tim: [on speaker phone] shit. Look, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it
Bruce: [tiredly] why not?
Tim: [on speakerphone] uhm… it’s kind of hard to explain
Kate: [smirking] are you on a date?
—in another part of town-
Tim: [glancing to his left where Bernard is watching an abandoned storefront through binoculars, waiting for Batman to emerge from the hideout Bernard concluded must be on this street from an algorithm he made up]
Tim: I-
Tim: I’m not really sure
#tim drake#bruce wayne#kate kane#dick Grayson#bernard dowd#incorrect batfamily quotes#batfamily#humor#chat#batman#dc#incorrect batfam quotes#barbara gordon
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