do you ever think jason finds comfort in the fact damian seems not to get fazed by the joker at all? every robins life has been influenced by the joker in some way or the other, dick was so close to bruce he found out what their destructive relationship is like firsthand, jason obviously was murdered by him, tim was introduced to batman during his depression and apprehension because of/for the joker but damian? damian gets a crowbar, locks himself in the same room as the joker, and starts beating him to the point both jim gordon and dick grayson are scared. for the joker.
do you think jason is silently comforted by the thought that this kid, more or less his brother isnt scared of his childhoods number one terror? and he finds solace in that fact
Do you think Bruce ever used the excuse ' I had an acrobat child' as an excuse of why he's in so much shape and so adgile
Because dick was his first kid in his house and he definitely got into everything and climbed everything and if Bruce hadn't been so adgile he would have had issues catching him and keeping him from doing tricks over tile and marble floors
Tired dad Bruce is the best Bruce
I think Bruce used his kids as an excuse for a lot of things, his agileness included
"How are you so in shape/how are you able to do that?"
BatBoys- How They React to You Saying “I Love You” During Sex
He was in a teasing mood in the bedroom and prolonging your orgasming to the point where you were begging for him to give it to you. He remained just out of reach.
Then, out of nowhere you kiss him and say, “I love you, just fuck me already.”
This was the first time either of you had uttered the words “I love you” and this made Dick beam. He gave in just a little bit. He was oh so slow entering you.
“What’d you say?” He pretended not to hear.
“I said fuck me already.” You gasped impatiently.
“No, the first part.” He grinned.
“I love you.” You sighed in exasperation. Dick grabbed your waist and went all out on you, thrusting fast and powerful.
“Say it again.” He would moan in your ear, loving to hear you whisper those words back to him.
At the time, Jason had actually broken his leg and wrist on a mission, so he was practically bed-ridden. You were friends with benefits, and since Jason was not a lefty and couldn’t relieve his stress with his broken wrist that’s where you came in.
You were riding him, practically rocking the bed with how hard you were going. Jason had one hand on your hip and the other on your thigh. His head was tilted back as he enjoyed the view and the feeling of you grinding down on his throbbing dick.
When you both climaxed at the same time and were riding out your high, you sighed, “God, I love you.”
This caught Jason off guard, never thinking he would hear those words, especially from you.
Because of the silence you started to apologize, not wanting him to freak out and break off your friendship.
Jason used his one good arm and flipped you to his side and kissed you.
“God, I love you, too.” He smirked, pulling you closer to him. You smirked back and wrapped your arms around his neck, leading to some more fun time.
It was actually the other way around.
Tim was stressed out because of a case and there was a sure-fire way to get him to clear his head and focus better. You knelt between his thigh, massaging his thighs and then going down on him.
You were bobbing your head up and down, licking his shaft and he blurted out, “I love you!” right as he came in your mouth.
You licked it up, smirking at his proclamation. “Really now? You looooove me?” You teased, slowly moving your hands up Tim’s body.
His face was flushed red with embarrassment. He was trying to get words out, but they kept getting stuck.
“Well, you better show me how much you love me.” You moved to sit on his lap, starting to rotate your hips, feeling Tim’s dick harden again and press against your thigh.
“I can do that.” Tim nodded his head, running his fingers through your hair and kissing you.
You were supposed to be watching a movie at his apartment, but things got carried away. Midway through the movie his hand moved up your thigh and you did the same, playing a game of chicken.
Now, Damian’s hand was down your pants and you had pulled his cock out, stroking it teasingly and squeezing his balls. Damian had a light blush on his cheeks, bucking his hips to each of your movements and trying to return the favor to you.
You were just getting started when Damian came all over your hand. His face turned bright red and you giggled breathlessly.
“Sorry.” Damian said, lips so close to yours.
“I love you.” You breathed back. Damian looked at your for a moment, kissing your lips.
“I love you, too.” He whispered, pulling you closer to himself. Your back slid down the couch and Damian pulled your legs around his waist.
You had always fooled around and had sex a couple times, but the time after you said that “I love you” was mind blowing.
bruce wayne using slang but only learning the definitions from websites for older people
For undisclosed reasons I thought it would be funny to pretend to be an older person wanting to know the definitions of gen z/millennial slang and oh boy is it a gold mine on some of these sites.
I immediately thought of Bruce Wayne.
Nightwing, over coms: Tracked down Penguin to a location by the docks. Let’s meet on 54th and think of a game plan.
Oracle: Copy that.
Red Hood: Agreed.
Red Robin: excuse me what
Batman: Robin, you’re dismissed. Take a shower then get to bed.
Robin: But father-
Batman: Bye Felicia.
Robin: . . . What-
Batman: You heard me, Robin.
*red robin, out of breath after a fight, wheezing because Batman asked a criminal if he was “shook” in his deep voice*
Oracle, over coms: Is Red crying or laughing? I honestly can’t tell.
Batman: Red Robin is dead.
Batman, during an impassioned speech: We are Gotham’s protectors. We are the thin line between order and chaos. The city needs protecting, even from those supposed to be protecting it. We will snatch every wig from every corrupt officer and politician’s head until this city shines.
Signal: I knew Gordon was wearing a toupee.
I think this is the funniest concept. Lemme know if y’all want a part 2 or more content like this.
All slang definitions taken from thoughtcatalog.com
Makes a point of being in bed with you when you wake up in the morning, even if it’s only for an hour, and especially if you didn’t fall asleep with him.
It’s no secret he shows you off at galas and in public, even if he decides to be ‘subtle’ about it. Everyone knows anyway. Even Arthur can sense when he’s showing you off, and Arthur’s powers aren’t even close to doing that.
Please teach this man how to use a microwave. He can do literally anything else, and master it without a problem, but microwaves are just not for him.
Spoils you rotten as if that’ll make up for the fact he’s gone with work and with Batman stuff. You take none of it, and just make him spend time with you. Which he thanks you for because he really misses you when he’s working.
Alfred and the kid's all love you even if some of them warm up slower than others *coughDamiancough* and it just proves to him how lucky he is to have gotten you.
Teaches you self-defense because he’s a detective and a past Robin so you could be a ‘target’. Plus you could get in trouble and need to defend yourself if he’s not around. And he like having an excuse to have you close via training.
Can’t cook for his l i f e. Like, don’t let him near the kitchen at all. Before you, he survived on 2-Minute Noodles, whatever was in the fridges at work, and things Alfred would bring him on occasion. He relies on you to feed him so please do it. You don’t even have to be the best cook either.
Gives the biggest, softest hugs e v e r. They’re all huge bear-hugs, full of gentle words and absolute warmth. Even before you were dating he’d give good hugs. Like, wow. Now I need one of his hugs.
Tells such good jokes, he always knows how to make you laugh, and exactly what kind of humor you need.
PDA is definitely a thing, and at the very least he has his fingers locked with yours. He’s just a little clingy, that’s all. And show-ey off-ey. Spent too much time around Bruce.
Everything in his house is his, and therefore is yours too. That includes food, books, and the bed, even his toothbrush, but God help you if you eat the leftover Chinese Take-Out without giving him the chance to get a mouthful in. Not even Alfred want’s to deal with that.
Teaches you how to ride a motorbike on your own, and as much as he loves seeing you ride on your own, he prefers it when you ride with him and hold onto him nice and tight. He lives for those moments tbh.
Is a heater. His body warmth is unparalleled in any dimension. Not too hot “But aren’t I always too hot?” and definitely not too cold. It’s the best for cold nights in Gotham.
Helpless Romantic. Gets you flowers, chocolates, takes you out for dinner because with Bruce’s money he can afford it, even dresses regularly in suits because he knows how much you love him in a suit.
Loves dancing with you, and for you. His best jam was along to Fall Out Boy’s cover of ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’. He should’ve been a theater kid. It’s a waste, but you’re willing to soak it all in in behalf of everyone else. “Don'tcha wanna dance with me baby!“
Makes extra coffee for you in the mornings. If you drink it. And memorizes your favorite. Decaf? Got it. Soy milk? No problem. Black? He has it like that too. Three sugars? So sweet, but okay.
Has an infinite amount of movies for movie nights. You know he hacks into places to get them. But you don’t care. Free movies. And a chance to get him to not work for a couple hours. (He falls asleep in the first twenty minutes.)
Pulls the best one-liners, especially when he’s over-tired. He could have a snark-off with Sherlock Holmes or Tony Stark and win with the things he sports out, and you’re lucky enough to be around whenever he does.
Has an amazing memory, so every single date worth memorizing he has it covered. You need to worry more about you forgetting anniversaries rather than him.
Cried when he heard Avicii died. He didn’t get over it for weeks. The only reason he’s gotten back to listening to his songs is that he’s now connected them with you. Play ‘Addicted to You’ and he’ll look at you with the most lovey-dovey heart-eyes ever.
Actually an almost human when he’s around you, which makes his family want you around more, which makes him happy weird, huh?
Hates PDA, but makes a point to hold your hand whenever he feels you’d like it because “Boyfriends do that. They do things they might not like to make their partner happy.”
Gets all flustered whenever you give him a n y sort of kisses. Hand kisses? Full-face blush. Cheek? Won't stop smiling. Mouth? Can’t speak for the next ten minutes. It’s fantastic.
High-key will scare people away if they look at you in a way he doesn’t like. He doesn’t like the idea of someone taking you away, and being Robin and the son of a billionaire doesn’t help. All must R E S P E C T his love.
Gives you all sorts of pet names, but only calls you them in private because “No one will believe you.” The little twat.
“Is that a Metropolis Meteors jersey? You had better burn that, this is a Gotham Knights household”
“We don’t wear Superman shirts in this household … I don’t care if your brother was wearing a Wonder Woman shirt, Diana is awesome.”
“It’s not Alfred’s job to take all 20 of the cereal bowls out of your room, if you ate in the dining room like everyone else this wouldn’t be an issue.”
“Don’t stab your siblings, I’m tired of stitching wounds”
“The next person that breaks a chandelier will be paying for it out of their trust fund!”
“Alfred will be having a cooking workshop for everyone … Yes, it’s mandatory … Cereal is not an acceptable dish to make at every meal … You already know how to cook, so you’ll be helping teach … Yes, I’ll also be there. Alfred said it’s mandatory for everyone”
“If I hear Cardi B blaring from the kitchen at 2 in the morning one more time … I don’t know what I’ll do but I’ll figure it out!”
“Stop drawing on your brother’s face with sharpie. If you’re going to do it at least do it with something that’ll wash off easier.”
“How the hell did you and your brother spend $1000 at McDonalds in one visit?”
“Where did the antique vases form the foyer go?”
“Just because you have a balcony does not make it okay for you to pee off of it! You all have attached bathrooms! You’re killing Alfred’s roses”
“Just because you have a balcony does not mean it’s okay for your Super friends to sneak into the house, they still need my permission to be in Gotham”
“I swear if I catch one more unauthorized Kryptonian in this house I’m bringing out the Kryptonite”
“Why would you do this to me? Do you want me to have a heart attack?!”
“We discussed this. No one was supposed to dress up as a clown this Halloween, why the hell are you all dressed up as a clown?”
“Why did I get a call from you teacher today saying you brought your cat to school?”
“Just because you’re saying it in another language doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re saying. … Yes I know you just swore in Greek, and Mandarin, and French, and wait which one was that? … Gaelic, I didn’t know you knew that one.”
“Complain about one more thing, child, and I’ll send you to boarding school ... I don’t care if your 22, I’ll find a way”
“No, I will not let you start an IV full of coffee just to see if you will survive, drink it like a normal person”
“No, I will not put a fridge in the Batcave. If you want a snack you can go upstairs and get one … I did not say you could call Alfred at get it, go get your own damn snack”
“Where did you find a box of cereal that big?”
“Why is there a car in my study? How did you get that through the front door?”
“Why did I adopt so many children?”
“I love you all, but if you don’t leave me alone I think I might go insane. If that what you want? Do you want to have to drive me at Arkham? No? Then please, I just need an hour.”
“Yes, your makeup looks lovely, I just don’t understand why you’re wearing it … I’m not discriminating … I didn’t say you couldn’t wear the makeup! … You know what, you look beautifully handsome, and your eye lashes are on fleek”
“If you want to prank your brothers you’ll be doing it alone. I will miss you when you die”
If you’re in the Batman fandom and you never had @laquilasse draw your favorite character then what’s the point of being in the fandom in the first place?
So a big giant thank you for @laquilasse for doing my commission, I requested Dick opening the door for his date for the night with Damian (who just woke up from a nap and still in his Jalabiya) attached to his big brother to mark his territory in front of his new rival.
This is exactly what I wanted and from now on this is officially my favorite Damian fanart of all time.
Birdflash: Their relationship dynamic is like the cutest thing ever. “I’ve noticed that we’ve slowly begun to phase the ‘B’ out of our bromance.” Have done the spiderman kiss and will continue to do the spiderman kiss. SO. MANY. PUNS. They’re CONSTANTLY in a pun war. In a drive thru: “Hey can you tell the guy in the car behind me that he’s cute and I’ll pay for his drink?” “Um….okay sir.” “Your total is $10.59. Also the guy in front of you said, um, he said to tell you that he thinks you’re cute and he’ll pay for your drink.” “*rolls eyes with a fond smile* that’s my husband, he thinks he’s romantic,” but the best part is that it works for either one of them. Birdflash Culture is the word “babe.” If you don’t think they had a bubble machine at their wedding then you’re lying to yourself. Eating junk food whenever and wherever they want,. “Oh my god just get in the fucking blanket fort already.” Where you go, I go. SO MUCH FOOD OH MY GOD ALL THE FOOD SO MUCH FRIGGIN FOOD. Police/crime lab aesthetic bc I have a headcanon that they’ both work with the police department (Dick’s a detective, Wally’s the lead CSI). Photo booth strips. Them being impressed by each other all the time. F R E C K L E S. Stopping halfway through the middle of sex because they just realized something about Star Trek season 3 episode 8 and they really need to pull it up on the tv to make sure they’re right. Re-enacting fight scenes from martial arts movies in the living room of a tiny apartment. Have i mentioned the babe thing because they toss around the word babe all the friggin time, not baby that’s gross, just plain babe along with bro and dude those three are interchangeable. “I called shotgun infinity when I was twelve.” The glass is always half full. Them playing video games at home eating pizza counts as a “date” but also they’ve been doing the same thing for years.
Jayroy: “don’t worry I know what I’m doing” “not even god knows what you’re doing.” Sharing cigarettes. Desperate messy kisses. Constant fast paced insult war that you can’t keep up with if you’re not quick witted enough. “My family had to put up with me but you? You’re the idiot who chose me as a best friend.” pet names galore but like edgy ones not gross sweet ones (my personal favorite is jaybird bc it’s awesome and also canon), very very kinky sex, will murder rapists and drug lords in the most painful way possible without giving a solitary fuck but will go to a nursing home the next morning and be as respectful as possible to the elderly. Tattooossss. Baseball hats. Say “fuck you” as “I love you.” Hair ties everywhere. m u s c l e s.
Timkon: Classic love story. Like, switch one of their genders and you’ve got a old school romance movie in the making. Photo shoots with a pride flag and merch. Pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks. Tim wearing Kon’s clothes to the point where practically his entire wardrobe except for his fancy clothes and red robin suit consists solely of Kon’s stuff. The Neighborhood vibes. Holding hands on a date at the carnival. Pride bracelets and pins. 90s vibes. Kind of the type of Destiel feeling where you can’t really have Destiel without also having Sam being the overenthusiastic shipper/supportive brother? That but with the rest of the Core Four. Polaroid pictures. Gay and Tired. Flannel + Leather + Denim. they go on dates with other people (before they realize they’re in love) and spend the entire time talking about their other half. Skateboards. A high school romance.
Damijon (aged up obviously): constant constant constant bickering and arguing, like we’re surpassing married couple status here. “I’m older” “I’m taller” starts out as a biting insult, falls into teasing joke, then becomes something they say with a mischievous fondness and an inside-joke smile. Country + Pop Taylor swift songs. Wandering together through the city. "Be kind to animals or I’ll kill you.” Sitting on the roof together. Kryptonite blades that Jon trusts no one except Damian to wield. “I hate you” “happy to hear it” turning into another inside joke. Sleepovers. Never growing up. “I trust you with my life unconditionally but I do not trust you to get my order right remember the time you betrayed me and everything I ever stood for?” “Oh my god dami I forgot the sauce onCE.” Don’t lie to yourself, habibi is totally a thing. Damian wearing Jon’s varsity football jacket over dark colored/black turtleneck shirts. Damian sketching Jon either late at night in the light of the moon or early in the morning by the light of the sun. Classic dark vs Light. Running down the street tugging the other behind you while holding hands. Red converse + Combat boots. TEAMWORK. “Clark, your son is annoying, loud, clumsy, entirely too tall, hopelessly optimistic, and way too naive. I trust him with every cell in my body.”