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#dick grayson headcanon
dead-robin-club · a month ago
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do you ever think jason finds comfort in the fact damian seems not to get fazed by the joker at all? every robins life has been influenced by the joker in some way or the other, dick was so close to bruce he found out what their destructive relationship is like firsthand, jason obviously was murdered by him, tim was introduced to batman during his depression and apprehension because of/for the joker but damian? damian gets a crowbar, locks himself in the same room as the joker, and starts beating him to the point both jim gordon and dick grayson are scared. for the joker.
do you think jason is silently comforted by the thought that this kid, more or less his brother isnt scared of his childhoods number one terror? and he finds solace in that fact
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shyestofhearts · 19 days ago
Do you think Bruce ever used the excuse ' I had an acrobat child' as an excuse of why he's in so much shape and so adgile
Because dick was his first kid in his house and he definitely got into everything and climbed everything and if Bruce hadn't been so adgile he would have had issues catching him and keeping him from doing tricks over tile and marble floors
Tired dad Bruce is the best Bruce
-⭐
I think Bruce used his kids as an excuse for a lot of things, his agileness included
"How are you so in shape/how are you able to do that?"
"Well Dick was an acrobat"
"Why do you know [obscure random fact]?"
"Damian was going through a phase"
"Why do you have so many of [obscure items]?"
"Cassandra liked them"
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77uchiha77 · 3 years ago
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Batboys as Youtubers Headcanons
Request: Not requested
Summary: Like the title says, Batboys as Youtubers
Note/Warnings: I got this idea while I was reading a @jaybirdxarsenal headcanon. Enjoy!
Permanent Taglist:  @softkomorebi
Dick Grayson
Intro: “hEyO, Grayson here!” *flashes award winning smile*
The Overenthusiastic youtuber
Everyone still loves him
Posts a lot of D.i.y videos
Posts twice as much gymnastic videos
HAs SoooOoooo many fan girls omg
Vlogs once in a while, during the whole vlog all you hear is chaotic noises and loud speaking in the background
Jason probably walks in Dick’s room when he’s in the middle of recording, purposely leaving the door open
“Jason can you close the door.”
Jason just laughs leaving the room
Jason Todd
Intro: hEY fuckers, it’s Jason.
Mukbangs + Storytimes
Vlogs
 DeFiNiTELY PRANKS 
Not that active on youtube but somehow stills has a huge following
Most blunt Q&As
“ @Jayisdaddy365 said Fuck me with your gun.”
“you guys need help.”
 BOOK REVIEWS DONT ARGUE WITH ME ON THIS and is brutally honest
“Yeah, this book was fucking trash.”
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Tim Drake
Intro: iT’s yEEEEE BOY TIM!
gETS sponsored by Red Bull
Has 2 channels with a MASSIVE following
A gaming Channel
and a channel for random shit like
“How to get straight A’s with minimal effort and sleeping in class” 
“Saying Logan Paul 100,000 Times.”
mEmE LORD
Gaming room tour
has freaking LED lights everywhere
His room is such an aesthetic
Became the Youtube brand endorser of Reese’s Puff
Even recorded a commercial
Became a living meme
The internet won’t let him live it down
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Damian Wayne
Honestly, Damian’s intro would probably be bland as shit which just makes it even funnier
Intro: “Hello...”
Outrageous storytimes
shows off his animals
POst things like:
“Five Reasons to go Vegetarian.”
“Why I Hate People.”
“5 Reasons Why People Don't Like You”
Drawing Tutorials
Has Grandmas commenting on his videos about how he’s so cute ^_^
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frostbittenbucky · 2 months ago
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Bruce Wayne has broken his nose several times in his life, just non of those times he was dressed as Batman
So no matter how ridiculous the cause is, it’s truth
16 year old Bruce Wayne attempting parkour: *jumps from one wall to the next* *slams his face into brick*
Interviewer: so what happened to your face?
Bruce: *looks dead on into the camera* “parkour”
21 year old Bruce Wayne standing onto of a table while extremely intoxicated *slips and slams his face into a stool*
Interviewer: can we ask about your recent injury?
Bruce: *heavy sighs* I fell
26 year old Bruce Wayne sparring his young Dick Grayson *dick knees him in the face, Bruce was proud but also embarrassed*
Interviewer: again?
Bruce: *swinging a monster and shrugs* wrestling can be dangerous
34 year old Bruce Wayne in a hurry, young Jason Todd in his locked car:
Jason: *unlocks*
Bruce: *grabs handle*
Jason: *locks*
Bruce: “Ja-“
Jason: *unlocks* *locks* *unlocks*
Bruce: *aggressively yanking handle*
Bruce: *door swings open*
Bruce: “Alfred take me to the hospital”
...............
Interviewer: sir?
Bruce:*stitches across his nose and bruising still under his eyes* *slowly chews some candy* “just some car trouble, really”
40 something year old Bruce, just minding his own damn business, literally hasn’t been awake for more than 10 minutes
Duke:*aims potato gun at his face*
...........
Bruce: *explaining the story* so the bad news I needed to have surgery, good news my son is becoming more comfortable in his new home, better news I don’t snore anymore
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incrediblysadstudent · a year ago
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You’re a Single Mother
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Bruce Wayne: 
-You being a reporter and meeting Bruce at a gala through Clark. 
-Bruce immediately being drawn to you and you two hitting it off. 
-Bruce meeting your daughter for the first time when she was seven months old after two months of dating. 
-Bruce knew of your daughter but was still nervous meeting her, he has raised many kids but never had any experience with a baby. 
-Bruce trying his absolute best to help you with her for the last six months.
-Bruce Nicknaming your daughter ‘little one’.
-Bruce setting up a gorgeous nursery and play room full of toys in the manor for when the two of you spent the night. 
-Bruce doing constant research on how to raise a baby. 
-Bruce getting up multiple times a night to check on your daughter when he feels as though it is too quiet in the manor. 
-”I just have to check, she’s been silent for thirty minutes.”
-”That's because she is sleeping Bruce.”
-”I just have to make sure she’s okay.” 
-Bruce going to the extreme to make sure your daughters bottles are warmed to the exact temperature recommended. 
-Bruce sleeps with the baby monitor and a camera by the bed to keep an eye on your daughter while she is in the nursery. 
-Hearing her fuss one night while you were asleep and going in himself to check on her.
-When he discovered your daughter was running a slight fever he completely panicked. 
-Woke Alfred up immediately.
-”Master Wayne, I already gave her Tylenol, you just have to wait for it to kick in and she will be fine. Now put her back to bed.”
-”Alfred you can’t be serious, look at her. She doesn't feel well I can’t just leave her here by herself.”
-Bruce deciding to then let your daughter sleep in your shared bed right in-between you and Bruce. 
-Bruce hardly being able to sleep because he was scared of crushing your daughter.
-Checking to make sure she was breathing because it was so difficult for him to tell.
-Your daughter cuddling into Bruce’s chest making him absolutely melt. 
-You waking up to Bruce and your daughter all snuggled up next to you. 
-Bruce insisting that you guys start co-sleeping with your daughter.
-”I read that its good for a child’s development.” 
-Bruce and your daughter forming a strong bond after that.
-Bruce being the softest ‘stepdad’ to your daughter, spoiling her and spending every free moment he had with her.
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Dick Grayson: 
-Dick accepting your daughter immediately. 
-Being upset that her father constantly blew off the responsibility of being a father.
-Dick stepping up to the plate for your daughter.
-Dick watched all of her favorite movies with her, played dolls with her, calmed all of her fears and made her feel like his own. 
-Dick affectionately calling you two “My girls.”
-You daughter being afraid Dick will leave you guys like her father did
-”No matter what happens I will always be here for you and your mother.” 
-”I wish you were my daddy.” 
-Dick helping your daughter with her school work.
-Dick taking her to so many places like the zoo, chuck e cheese, out for ice cream, and the park.
-Dick taking your daughter to her first father daughter dance because her own dad was ‘too busy’
-Dick going all out by showing up at the door with flowers.
-”Dick I don’t know how to dance.”
-”Stand on my feet I’ll teach you.”
-Your daughter and Dick practicing dancing in the Livingroom every night after the dance. 
-Dick watching frozen with her every night.
-No matter how tired Dick is from work or how sore he is from his nightly activities he always picks your daughter up when they greet each other.
-“Gosh your getting so big.”
-Dick telling your daughter all about his time in the circus.
-”No way! Can you teach me to do a flip like you use to do?”
-Your daughter wanting to take up gymnastics to be like Dick.
-They also created a game called batman and robin that they like to play around the house. 
-Dick somehow got stuck as robin. 
-”What about batman and Nightwing? That would be cool right?”
-”No Nightwing isn’t as fun.” 
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Jason Todd: 
-Jason absolutely adoring you and your daughter.
-Is extremely protective over the both of you.
-Jason hating your baby daddy. He hates the way he talks to you and hates how shitty of a father he is. 
-Jason almost getting into a physical fight with him after witnessing him scream at your daughter for something minor.
-”Talk to her like that again and I’ll make it so you won’t be able to talk anymore.”
-Jason quitting smoking because your daughter said she didn’t like when he smoked.
-Your daughter drawing tattoos on herself because she wanted to be cool like Jason.
-Jason is surprisingly good at doing your daughters hair.
-”Why are you so surprised? Did you think my hair was naturally this nice looking?”
-Whenever he did not spend the night at your place he always face timed you to say goodnight to your daughter.
-Your daughter noticing whenever Jason is in pain and acts as his nurse.
-Your daughter accidentally calling Jason Dad/Daddy.
-”Do you like my hair? My daddy did it.”
-”Dad can you help me with my adding?”
-Them wearing matching outfits often.
-Even though they are not related by blood she is a mini Jason, she idolizes him and copies everything he does.
-Jason’s presence definitely broke your daughter out of her shy and quiet behavior.
-Your daughter learning her firs cuss word from Jason.
-”No no honey you can’t say that Mommy will kill me.”
-They absolutely love rough housing.
-Jason teaching her self defense moves.
-”Jay she’s five.”
-”That doesn’t mean she can’t kick butt.”
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Tim Drake: 
-Tim was extremely good with your daughter and was very respectful of her father and your co parenting.
-Your daughter absolutely loved Tim, she saw him as her second dad.
-She often called him ‘Daddy Tim’
-Tim helped your daughter express her creativity.
-They often cook super fun and crazy meals together. 
-Makes sure she always uses her manners.
-He practically carries her everywhere. 
 -Your daughter preferring him to do everything with her.
-”Daddy Tim can you get me water? I like the way you pour it.”
-”Daddy Tim can you read me a story? I like when you read me stories.”
-Tim literally never being able to say no to her.
-You banning Tim from taking her down the toy aisle because he absolutely spoils her.
-“But babe she really wants these LOL dolls and she said all her friends have them and I didn’t want her to feel left out.”
-Tim pretending to be scared when your daughter tries to scare him. 
-Tim teaching your daughter how to be more stealthy when she tries to scare people.
-Her actually learning and scaring the life out of you.
-Tim building forts big enough for all three of you in the Livingroom whenever he slept over.
-Your daughter always cuddling up to Tim when you all would fall asleep together.
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Damian Wayne:
-Your daughter and Damian slowly warming up to one another.
-Them being like two peas in a pod once they finally warmed up to each other.
-Damian reading classic novels to your daughter rather than classic children's books.
-”Dami can we read more of the mockingbird book?”
-Damian teaching her Arabic as well.
-Your daughter was practically his shadow, she followed him everywhere.
-Damian drawing with her, teaching her all about dimensions and shadows, often opting to draw you as an example. 
-Getting your daughter a puppy as a birthday gift, helping train it to be a Titus level guard dog.
-Taking her to the zoo to see all the different times of animals, making her love for animals grow like Damian’s.
-Damian’s calm and confident energy made your daughter feel extremely safe.
-”Dami can you sleep in my room tight?”
-”Why?”
-”Because I know you’ll protect me from monsters.”
-You bet your ass Damian sat on her tiny twin size bed and kept a look out for monsters.
-Your daughter doing the most random but sweetest things for Damian.
-”Uh why did you give me a slobbery fruit snack?”
-”I’m sharing with you so you so you aren’t left out.”
-Again you can bet your ass Damian accepted the fruit snack, he may have fed it to the puppy but your daughter wouldn’t know that.
-Damian keeping a crudely drawn picture your daughter drew of all three of you in his wallet. 
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imagine-t-h-a-ttt · 2 years ago
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BatBoys- How They React to You Saying “I Love You” During Sex
Dick Grayson
He was in a teasing mood in the bedroom and prolonging your orgasming to the point where you were begging for him to give it to you. He remained just out of reach.
Then, out of nowhere you kiss him and say, “I love you, just fuck me already.”
This was the first time either of you had uttered the words “I love you” and this made Dick beam. He gave in just a little bit. He was oh so slow entering you.
“What’d you say?” He pretended not to hear.
“I said fuck me already.” You gasped impatiently.
“No, the first part.” He grinned.
“I love you.” You sighed in exasperation. Dick grabbed your waist and went all out on you, thrusting fast and powerful.
“Say it again.” He would moan in your ear, loving to hear you whisper those words back to him.
Jason Todd
At the time, Jason had actually broken his leg and wrist on a mission, so he was practically bed-ridden. You were friends with benefits, and since Jason was not a lefty and couldn’t relieve his stress with his broken wrist that’s where you came in.
You were riding him, practically rocking the bed with how hard you were going. Jason had one hand on your hip and the other on your thigh. His head was tilted back as he enjoyed the view and the feeling of you grinding down on his throbbing dick.
When you both climaxed at the same time and were riding out your high, you sighed, “God, I love you.”
This caught Jason off guard, never thinking he would hear those words, especially from you.
Because of the silence you started to apologize, not wanting him to freak out and break off your friendship.
Jason used his one good arm and flipped you to his side and kissed you.
“God, I love you, too.” He smirked, pulling you closer to him. You smirked back and wrapped your arms around his neck, leading to some more fun time.
Tim Drake
It was actually the other way around.
Tim was stressed out because of a case and there was a sure-fire way to get him to clear his head and focus better. You knelt between his thigh, massaging his thighs and then going down on him.
You were bobbing your head up and down, licking his shaft and he blurted out, “I love you!” right as he came in your mouth.
You licked it up, smirking at his proclamation. “Really now? You looooove me?” You teased, slowly moving your hands up Tim’s body.
His face was flushed red with embarrassment. He was trying to get words out, but they kept getting stuck.
“Well, you better show me how much you love me.” You moved to sit on his lap, starting to rotate your hips, feeling Tim’s dick harden again and press against your thigh.
“I can do that.” Tim nodded his head, running his fingers through your hair and kissing you.
Damian Wayne
You were supposed to be watching a movie at his apartment, but things got carried away. Midway through the movie his hand moved up your thigh and you did the same, playing a game of chicken.
Now, Damian’s hand was down your pants and you had pulled his cock out, stroking it teasingly and squeezing his balls. Damian had a light blush on his cheeks, bucking his hips to each of your movements and trying to return the favor to you.
You were just getting started when Damian came all over your hand. His face turned bright red and you giggled breathlessly.
“Sorry.” Damian said, lips so close to yours.
“I love you.” You breathed back. Damian looked at your for a moment, kissing your lips.
“I love you, too.” He whispered, pulling you closer to himself. Your back slid down the couch and Damian pulled your legs around his waist.
You had always fooled around and had sex a couple times, but the time after you said that “I love you” was mind blowing.
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77uchiha77 · 3 years ago
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Dating - Batboys Headcanon
Request: Omg can I request a HC of what its like to date the batboys? (You know, separately.
Summary:
Note/Warnings: so I lied when I said I was going to post in order of who requested. enjoy.
Permanent tag list: @softkomorebi  @lightskintxxn @batboys-and-other-messes
Wanna be on my permanent tag list? Send me a message/ask!
Dick Grayson
Dick isn’t too shabby when it comes to cooking
Before he goes off to his nightly affairs he’ll try his best to cook for you
Goes the extra mile to make you happy
Probably makes you his workout buddy
You ever need someone to talk to?
Dick’s your right-hand man
Will try his best to make you laugh while you cry
He hates seeing you upset
ooo he’s SUPER adventurous
Will literally wake up at 1 am to go on a car ride by the beach
His personality type suggest he probably changes the conversation quickly if you guys ever started talking about the future
Kids, marriage, rings, house, isn’t a common conversation
Dick would rather live in the moment
Jason Todd
Most likely the jealous type
Organized freak
but Gosh does he love you
can be quite stubborn
deep conversations 
The best hugs
holds you like a teddy bear when sleeping
motorcycle rides
sarcasm 24/7
FLIRTY AS FUCK
being there for him when he wakes from nightmares
comforting him when he opens up about his trauma
hours upon hours in bookstores 
Jason doing random romantic things
“Really Jason?”
“What? was the horse too much?”
“Just a bit.”
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Tim Drake
Despite popular belief that Tim is some smol angel he can actually be pretty cold
his sarcasm is a deadly weapon
Probably has said some pretty rude things during arguments but immediately regrets them
but HE WILL blush every time you show him affection in public
Remembers every anniversary, date, location, time
Random debates about the most complex ideas
you probably adopt his weird sleeping pattern
sitting back to back on the floor while Tim is doing whatever on his laptop for hours straight
THE WORST HELP when shopping
“Tim, this top looks cuter, right?”
*tries to pretend he isn’t a lovebug that thought the other 9 tops looked just as good *
“uh, yeah sure!”
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Damian Wayne
does a 180 when you are actually together
HEART EYES 24/7
Stargazing
Possibly becoming vegetarian
letting him take his time when opening up to you
constantly volunteering at an animal shelter together
if you’re affectionate with him, he’ll act as if he doesn’t care but inside omg, HE’S EXPLODING IN FEELS
Damian isn’t the biggest fan of PDA but his heart flutters when you randomly hug him or hold his hand in public
SPOILS YOU
“Damian this is too expensive.”
“Only the finest for my beloved.”
Pet Names
my guy doesn’t want to admit it but he’s SUCH a romantic
will slit the throat of anyone who disrespects you
it scares him how much you mean to him
Being the water to his firey ambitions and passions
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business-as-usual-bats · 2 years ago
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Bruce: alright, I've finished building the Batcave. This is a place where I can build dangerous weapons and store cars and jets and-
Bruce: *sees little Dick Grayson's parents die*
Bruce: could be a nursery
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outoftheframework · a year ago
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bruce wayne using slang but only learning the definitions from websites for older people
For undisclosed reasons I thought it would be funny to pretend to be an older person wanting to know the definitions of gen z/millennial slang and oh boy is it a gold mine on some of these sites. 
I immediately thought of Bruce Wayne.
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Nightwing, over coms: Tracked down Penguin to a location by the docks. Let’s meet on 54th and think of a game plan.
Oracle: Copy that.
Red Hood: Agreed.
Batman: Yeet.
Everyone:
Red Robin: excuse me what
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Batman: Robin, you’re dismissed. Take a shower then get to bed.
Robin: But father-
Batman: Bye Felicia.
Robin: . . . What-
Batman: You heard me, Robin.
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*red robin, out of breath after a fight, wheezing because Batman asked a criminal if he was “shook” in his deep voice*
Oracle, over coms: Is Red crying or laughing? I honestly can’t tell.
Batman: Red Robin is dead.
Everyone: WHAT-
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Batman, during an impassioned speech: We are Gotham’s protectors. We are the thin line between order and chaos. The city needs protecting, even from those supposed to be protecting it. We will snatch every wig from every corrupt officer and politician’s head until this city shines.
Everyone:
Signal: I knew Gordon was wearing a toupee.
________
I think this is the funniest concept. Lemme know if y’all want a part 2 or more content like this.
All slang definitions taken from thoughtcatalog.com
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angstytodd-inactive · 3 years ago
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How The Batboys Kiss
when it Request: Headcannon how the batboys kiss. 
Masterlist
Jason
Honestly Jason could kiss you forever if he could
Will do ANYTHING to get your kisses, and will tease you all day if it means you’ll kiss him
If you kiss him on the cheek he’ll hold you in his arms until he gets one on the lips
Makes it a point to kiss you before he leaves, even if it’s just a regular patrol because he’ll never know if it’s his last
On slow days he’ll take his time and doesn’t rush anything
Dick
Majority of his kisses are playful
Always makes it a point to pepper kisses all over your face
Likes to have days where you guys just makeout 
He isn’t bashful when it comes to kissing you in public
Kisses you on the daily, and can never go an hour without kissing you
Has no shame when it comes to kissing you in front of his family
Tim
Tim’s kisses are reserved for those nights when he’s working late on a case or when you’re patching him up
He loves kissing you, but he doesn’t want someone to see and possibly use you against him
But whenever he does kiss you he’s always flustered and a blushes a lot
When you guys first started dating he was very hesitant to kiss you b/c he never saw his parents kiss when he was a kid
Now he’s not afraid to kiss you and is very straight forward about it
Damian
His kisses are very rare, but when they do happen he’s very passionate and makes sure you can feel his love
Never kisses you in front his family b/c he sees it as a private moment between you two
Makes it a point to always kiss you before every mission b/c he knows he can’t guarantee that he’ll get back safe
Kisses you first thing every morning to show how important you are to him
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77uchiha77 · 3 years ago
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Crushes - BatBoys Headcanons
Request: Headcanons for what it’s like for the Batboys to have crushes / realize they’re in love? 😊 Please and thank you! 
Warning/Note: Cursing
The Crush Stage
Dick Grayson
Gets more protective of you
becomes CLINGY
personal space? whats that?
You don’t mind, his presence is calming 
Dick, just staring at you from afar
Talks to you on the regular
random 1 am calls
When he finds out he developed feelings, doesn’t beat around the bush
Jason Todd
His cool facade crumbles
Probably blushes if you smile at him for too long
becomes a bit touchy
once he realizes he has a crush, drops a million hints around you
Reads more romantic literature 
expresses his fondness in French
when you ask him why is he always speaking French around you, he replies with
“It's the language of love.”
you weren’t oblivious but you enjoyed how he acted around you
Tim Drake
Clammy hands
Gets nervous when he's around you
Laughs more than he needs to when you make a joke
wants to cry in the corner afterward
Curses when he sees you
*walks past him*
mutters, “fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Researches and takes quizzes on how to know if your crush likes you back
Damian Wayne
Heart rate increases
Gets more snappy at you
Probably thinks you drugged him
Asks Bruce to do a blood test
“I’m sure y/n drugged me! When I see her my heart rate increases, I get anxious, and I get tongue tied every time I try to insult her!”
“Sounds like a crush to me, demon.” Tim looks over his shoulder, an amused expression on his face
“What’s a crush?”
Tim’s face drops
Realizing They’re In Love
Dick Grayson
He’s so happy
Sings in the shower, when he realizes he’s in love
Overall, feels happy with a tinge of worriedness
Worried about the feeling someday fading away
Jason Todd
Well, fuck
Gets a panic attack
Wtf is this eternal happiness feeling he gets when he sees you
*Calls Dick*
Tim Drake
Constantly daydreaming
heart eyes 24/7
when he realizes his feelings go a bit deeper than just a crush he’s scared
He’s scared of pushing you away or you ever being put in danger
Damian Wayne
More confused than happy
He’s never experienced this so this feeling was foreign
Trains to get his mind off of it
*Also, calls Dick*
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bluebellhairpin · a year ago
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Dating BatBoys Headcanons
A/N: I had too much fun with this. - Nemo
Masterlist
Bruce Wayne
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Makes a point of being in bed with you when you wake up in the morning, even if it’s only for an hour, and especially if you didn’t fall asleep with him. 
It’s no secret he shows you off at galas and in public, even if he decides to be ‘subtle’ about it. Everyone knows anyway. Even Arthur can sense when he’s showing you off, and Arthur’s powers aren’t even close to doing that. 
Please teach this man how to use a microwave. He can do literally anything else, and master it without a problem, but microwaves are just not for him. 
Spoils you rotten as if that’ll make up for the fact he’s gone with work and with Batman stuff. You take none of it, and just make him spend time with you. Which he thanks you for because he really misses you when he’s working. 
Alfred and the kid's all love you even if some of them warm up slower than others *coughDamiancough* and it just proves to him how lucky he is to have gotten you. 
Dick Grayson
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Teaches you self-defense because he’s a detective and a past Robin so you could be a ‘target’. Plus you could get in trouble and need to defend yourself if he’s not around. And he like having an excuse to have you close via training. 
Can’t cook for his l i f e. Like, don’t let him near the kitchen at all. Before you, he survived on 2-Minute Noodles, whatever was in the fridges at work, and things Alfred would bring him on occasion. He relies on you to feed him so please do it. You don’t even have to be the best cook either.
Gives the biggest, softest hugs e v e r. They’re all huge bear-hugs, full of gentle words and absolute warmth. Even before you were dating he’d give good hugs. Like, wow. Now I need one of his hugs. 
Tells such good jokes, he always knows how to make you laugh, and exactly what kind of humor you need. 
PDA is definitely a thing, and at the very least he has his fingers locked with yours. He’s just a little clingy, that’s all. And show-ey off-ey. Spent too much time around Bruce. 
Jason Todd
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Everything in his house is his, and therefore is yours too. That includes food, books, and the bed, even his toothbrush, but God help you if you eat the leftover Chinese Take-Out without giving him the chance to get a mouthful in. Not even Alfred want’s to deal with that. 
Teaches you how to ride a motorbike on your own, and as much as he loves seeing you ride on your own, he prefers it when you ride with him and hold onto him nice and tight. He lives for those moments tbh. 
Is a heater. His body warmth is unparalleled in any dimension. Not too hot “But aren’t I always too hot?” and definitely not too cold. It’s the best for cold nights in Gotham.
Helpless Romantic. Gets you flowers, chocolates, takes you out for dinner because with Bruce’s money he can afford it, even dresses regularly in suits because he knows how much you love him in a suit. 
Loves dancing with you, and for you. His best jam was along to Fall Out Boy’s cover of ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’. He should’ve been a theater kid. It’s a waste, but you’re willing to soak it all in in behalf of everyone else. “Don'tcha wanna dance with me baby!“
Tim Drake
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Makes extra coffee for you in the mornings. If you drink it. And memorizes your favorite. Decaf? Got it. Soy milk? No problem. Black? He has it like that too. Three sugars? So sweet, but okay. 
Has an infinite amount of movies for movie nights. You know he hacks into places to get them. But you don’t care. Free movies. And a chance to get him to not work for a couple hours. (He falls asleep in the first twenty minutes.) 
Pulls the best one-liners, especially when he’s over-tired. He could have a snark-off with Sherlock Holmes or Tony Stark and win with the things he sports out, and you’re lucky enough to be around whenever he does. 
Has an amazing memory, so every single date worth memorizing he has it covered. You need to worry more about you forgetting anniversaries rather than him.
Cried when he heard Avicii died. He didn’t get over it for weeks. The only reason he’s gotten back to listening to his songs is that he’s now connected them with you. Play ‘Addicted to You’ and he’ll look at you with the most lovey-dovey heart-eyes ever. 
Damian Wayne
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Actually an almost human when he’s around you, which makes his family want you around more, which makes him happy weird, huh?  
Hates PDA, but makes a point to hold your hand whenever he feels you’d like it because “Boyfriends do that. They do things they might not like to make their partner happy.” 
Gets all flustered whenever you give him a n y sort of kisses. Hand kisses? Full-face blush. Cheek? Won't stop smiling. Mouth? Can’t speak for the next ten minutes. It’s fantastic. 
High-key will scare people away if they look at you in a way he doesn’t like. He doesn’t like the idea of someone taking you away, and being Robin and the son of a billionaire doesn’t help. All must R  E S P E C T his love. 
Gives you all sorts of pet names, but only calls you them in private because “No one will believe you.” The little twat. 
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a-res · 3 years ago
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Learning to Drive Headcanons- Batboys
Dick
Batman used to be a lot more strict about rules an laws
Dick was the first child, this was before the other 3 ( or 6? 7? who knows really…) rolled around and Bruce became a bit more chill with things
Learned to drive as soon as he legally could
Maybe once or twice before that when Bruce wasn’t looking
The world’s greatest detective eventually found out though, he was not pleased
Learned to drive back in the good old Robin days when he was the perfect Golden Boy
Read the driving manual
Bruce personally taught him to drive
“Dick for the last time, you will not learn how to drive on the Batmobile!”
The ride usually started pretty safe and gradually became more and more reckless as it went along
Usually ended with Bruce holding on the little handle at the top for dear life
Jason
A train wreck from start to finish
He “knew” how to drive before he met Bruce
And by that he meant he could hot wire a car and drive it far enough to crash in an alley
Bruce didn’t ask how he learned that, he worries enough about the boy
First time he drove after coming to live with Bruce was when he was grounded from patrol but really wanted to help
So he stole an older model of the Batmobile and drove out to find Bruce
Didn't make it past the gate
Alfred received a security alert that the gate had been breached with extreme force
Walks out with a loaded shotgun
Only to find a very wrecked old Batmobile, whats left of the gate and Jason pacing back and forth trying to figure out how he would explain it to Bruce
Once again, Bruce was not pleased
After the incident he decided to properly teach him to drive (Alfred’s advice)
“Ok Jason, now turn carefully. CAREFULLY!”
Tim
Actually did research before attempting to drive
Found the manual for the most common cars in Gotham as well as the one his father owned plus the ones Bruce owns
Knows where every bolt and screw is located on the car he is driving
Watched videos and read up on the best driving techniques
His father signed him up for driving school so he had a few lessons
After Dick and Jason, Bruce was very relieved that this one was not going to be a nightmare on wheels
But nevertheless he had to teach him how to drive drive
Like, being chased by criminals/trying to catch the next maniac without much damage drive
And there is the Batmobile
It’s one thing to know how to drive the Batmobile in theory, it’s a whole different experience when you are behind the wheel
After the first lesson he added more airbags and extra seatbelts
Damian
Has been driving since he was 3
Probably the best driver in the family
With that being said, he’s not allowed to drive
They used too keep a few phonebooks under the seats so should there be an emergency, and Damian had to drive, he would actually be able to reach the peddle
Only on emergencies though
There were enough “emergencies” for Dick to implement a lever that raises the drivers seat and the peddles
Bruce was not happy about this but Dick convinced him “Better safe than sorry”
And there was also that time where he stole the Batmobile
They still have dinner fights over that...
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business-as-usual-bats · 2 years ago
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[Child is orphaned]
Superman [sarcastically]: i suppose we could convince batman to adopt them
Nightwing: i have nothing but respect for u but if you ever make that joke in a place where bruce might hear, my 26 brothers and i will lace ur next meal with kryptonite
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batfam-imagines · 2 years ago
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Even more things Bruce has said to his kids:
“Is that a Metropolis Meteors jersey? You had better burn that, this is a Gotham Knights household”
“We don’t wear Superman shirts in this household … I don’t care if your brother was wearing a Wonder Woman shirt, Diana is awesome.”
“It’s not Alfred’s job to take all 20 of the cereal bowls out of your room, if you ate in the dining room like everyone else this wouldn’t be an issue.”
“Don’t stab your siblings, I’m tired of stitching wounds”
“The next person that breaks a chandelier will be paying for it out of their trust fund!”
“Alfred will be having a cooking workshop for everyone … Yes, it’s mandatory … Cereal is not an acceptable dish to make at every meal … You already know how to cook, so you’ll be helping teach … Yes, I’ll also be there. Alfred said it’s mandatory for everyone”
“If I hear Cardi B blaring from the kitchen at 2 in the morning one more time … I don’t know what I’ll do but I’ll figure it out!”
“Stop drawing on your brother’s face with sharpie. If you’re going to do it at least do it with something that’ll wash off easier.”
“How the hell did you and your brother spend $1000 at McDonalds in one visit?”
“Where did the antique vases form the foyer go?”
“Just because you have a balcony does not make it okay for you to pee off of it! You all have attached bathrooms! You’re killing Alfred’s roses”
“Just because you have a balcony does not mean it’s okay for your Super friends to sneak into the house, they still need my permission to be in Gotham”
“I swear if I catch one more unauthorized Kryptonian in this house I’m bringing out the Kryptonite”
“Why would you do this to me? Do you want me to have a heart attack?!”
“We discussed this. No one was supposed to dress up as a clown this Halloween, why the hell are you all dressed up as a clown?”
“Why did I get a call from you teacher today saying you brought your cat to school?”
“Just because you’re saying it in another language doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re saying. … Yes I know you just swore in Greek, and Mandarin, and French, and wait which one was that? … Gaelic, I didn’t know you knew that one.”
“Complain about one more thing, child, and I’ll send you to boarding school ... I don’t care if your 22, I’ll find a way”
“No, I will not let you start an IV full of coffee just to see if you will survive, drink it like a normal person”
“No, I will not put a fridge in the Batcave. If you want a snack you can go upstairs and get one … I did not say you could call Alfred at get it, go get your own damn snack”
“Where did you find a box of cereal that big?”
“Why is there a car in my study? How did you get that through the front door?”
“Why did I adopt so many children?”
“I love you all, but if you don’t leave me alone I think I might go insane. If that what you want? Do you want to have to drive me at Arkham? No? Then please, I just need an hour.”
“Yes, your makeup looks lovely, I just don’t understand why you’re wearing it … I’m not discriminating … I didn’t say you couldn’t wear the makeup! … You know what, you look beautifully handsome, and your eye lashes are on fleek”
“If you want to prank your brothers you’ll be doing it alone. I will miss you when you die”
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arabian-batboy · 2 years ago
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If you’re in the Batman fandom and you never had @laquilasse draw your favorite character then what’s the point of being in the fandom in the first place?
So a big giant thank you for @laquilasse for doing my commission, I requested Dick opening the door for his date for the night with Damian (who just woke up from a nap and still in his Jalabiya) attached to his big brother to mark his territory in front of his new rival.
This is exactly what I wanted and from now on this is officially my favorite Damian fanart of all time.
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river-bottom-nightmare · 11 months ago
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relationship dynamics
because i felt like it
Birdflash: Their relationship dynamic is like the cutest thing ever. “I’ve noticed that we’ve slowly begun to phase the ‘B’ out of our bromance.” Have done the spiderman kiss and will continue to do the spiderman kiss. SO. MANY. PUNS. They’re CONSTANTLY in a pun war. In a drive thru: “Hey can you tell the guy in the car behind me that he’s cute and I’ll pay for his drink?” “Um….okay sir.” “Your total is $10.59. Also the guy in front of you said, um, he said to tell you that he thinks you’re cute and he’ll pay for your drink.” “*rolls eyes with a fond smile* that’s my husband, he thinks he’s romantic,” but the best part is that it works for either one of them. Birdflash Culture is the word “babe.” If you don’t think they had a bubble machine at their wedding then you’re lying to yourself. Eating junk food whenever and wherever they want,. “Oh my god just get in the fucking blanket fort already.” Where you go, I go. SO MUCH FOOD OH MY GOD ALL THE FOOD SO MUCH FRIGGIN FOOD. Police/crime lab aesthetic bc I have a headcanon that they’ both work with the police department (Dick’s a detective, Wally’s the lead CSI). Photo booth strips. Them being impressed by each other all the time. F R E C K L E S. Stopping halfway through the middle of sex because they just realized something about Star Trek season 3 episode 8 and they really need to pull it up on the tv to make sure they’re right. Re-enacting fight scenes from martial arts movies in the living room of a tiny apartment. Have i mentioned the babe thing because they toss around the word babe all the friggin time, not baby that’s gross, just plain babe along with bro and dude those three are interchangeable. “I called shotgun infinity when I was twelve.” The glass is always half full. Them playing video games at home eating pizza counts as a “date” but also they’ve been doing the same thing for years.
Jayroy: “don’t worry I know what I’m doing” “not even god knows what you’re doing.” Sharing cigarettes. Desperate messy kisses. Constant fast paced insult war that you can’t keep up with if you’re not quick witted enough. “My family had to put up with me but you? You’re the idiot who chose me as a best friend.” pet names galore but like edgy ones not gross sweet ones (my personal favorite is jaybird bc it’s awesome and also canon), very very kinky sex, will murder rapists and drug lords in the most painful way possible without giving a solitary fuck but will go to a nursing home the next morning and be as respectful as possible to the elderly. Tattooossss. Baseball hats. Say “fuck you” as “I love you.” Hair ties everywhere. m u s c l e s.
Timkon:  Classic love story. Like, switch one of their genders and you’ve got a old school romance movie in the making. Photo shoots with a pride flag and merch. Pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks. Tim wearing Kon’s clothes to the point where practically his entire wardrobe except for his fancy clothes and red robin suit consists solely of Kon’s stuff. The Neighborhood vibes. Holding hands on a date at the carnival. Pride bracelets and pins. 90s vibes. Kind of the type of Destiel feeling where you can’t really have Destiel without also having Sam being the overenthusiastic shipper/supportive brother? That but with the rest of the Core Four. Polaroid pictures. Gay and Tired. Flannel + Leather + Denim. they go on dates with other people (before they realize they’re in love) and spend the entire time talking about their other half. Skateboards. A high school romance.
Damijon (aged up obviously):  constant constant constant bickering and arguing, like we’re surpassing married couple status here. “I’m older” “I’m taller” starts out as a biting insult, falls into teasing joke, then becomes something they say with a mischievous fondness and an inside-joke smile. Country + Pop Taylor swift songs. Wandering together through the city. "Be kind to animals or I’ll kill you.” Sitting on the roof together. Kryptonite blades that Jon trusts no one except Damian to wield. “I hate you” “happy to hear it” turning into another inside joke. Sleepovers. Never growing up. “I trust you with my life unconditionally but I do not trust you to get my order right remember the time you betrayed me and everything I ever stood for?” “Oh my god dami I forgot the sauce onCE.” Don’t lie to yourself, habibi is totally a thing. Damian wearing Jon’s varsity football jacket over dark colored/black turtleneck shirts. Damian sketching Jon either late at night in the light of the moon or early in the morning by the light of the sun. Classic dark vs Light. Running down the street tugging the other behind you while holding hands. Red converse + Combat boots. TEAMWORK. “Clark, your son is annoying, loud, clumsy, entirely too tall, hopelessly optimistic, and way too naive. I trust him with every cell in my body.”
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