A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
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“DIDJA SEE THAT, DANNY?!” Tim, a scrawny eleven year old now, excitedly smacked Danny’s arm.
“Ow. Yes, yes I did.”
“Oh, gosh, I have to tell Jazz about this!!” The kid waved his arms about wildly, grinning from ear to ear.
“Jaso- I mean, Robin, smiled at me! And said he liked my t-shirt!! Oh my god, he likes literature puns, he even laughed! And then he punched the bad guy in the face! Look! I even saved the tooth!”
“Okayyy, nope!” Danny plucked the tooth and tossed it, ignoring Tim’s betrayed face. “I’ll trade you that for this.”
Danny Held out a piece of paper with Robin’s and Batman’s sigil on it, from when he asked them to sign it after they “saved” the two brothers from the two-bit thugs trying to mug them.
“Oh. My. God. This is like the best day of my life!! I love you, Danny! You’re the best brother ever!! Oh my god! I have to get Nightwing’s signature!!!”
Danny felt a rush of warmth at Tim’s proclamation of affection. Ah, he should probably step in.
“Hey, wait, no, we’re not going to Blüdhaven for you to stalk another vigilante.”
“It’s not just any old vigilante-!” Tim ignored Danny’s dramatic clutching-pearls gesture of mock hurt. “It’s Nightwing. The original Robin! He gave me my first ever hug!”
Danny paused. God dammit.
“…Fine.”
“YESSSSSS!!!!”
——
Danny-
“I’m gonna be Robin whether you want me to or not!”
-is so damn tired.
“Tim. I’m literally a vigilante ghost. What makes you think I’d be stupid enough to argue with a kid who runs around Gotham at night to take pictures of other vigilantes?”
Tim deflated. “Oh. Honestly, I thought you’d put up more of a fight…”
Jazz laughed and ruffled Tim’s hair. “I definitely couldn’t stop Danny when he went out. He trusted me to support him and I trusted him to come to me if he was injured, though. Can you promise me that, Tim?”
“Yeah… okay, Jazz, I promise.” Tim promised, even if he was still pouty.
Danny chimed in.
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m totally worried and I’m gonna hover like a mother hen when you go out, but again, I know how stubborn and crazy we vigilante types have to be.” Danny paused. “Do you want me to put up a token protest?”
Tim nodded, sulking. “Yes, please. I had a speech planned out.”
Jazz and Danny exchanged amused glances.
“Oh, okay, my bad, kiddo. Here, let’s start from the top.”
“Okay. Ahem,” Tim straightened his back, settling into his previous mulish expression once more. “I’m gonna be Robin whether you want me to or not!”
Danny placed an appropriately disapproving frown on his face. “No, you can’t! It’s dangerous! You could get hurt! You’re just a child!”
Tim launched into his speech. “But I can’t stay still and do nothing when people are getting hurt! Even…!”
They were gonna be here for a while. There was definitely something about Batman going on a spiral because Jason wouldn’t be able to walk again after the Joker got to him. Danny wondered if ectoplasm could help. He might offer, if it actually had a change of getting Tim out of the vigilante business.
But that’s for later, because they had time. Jazz was on Spring Break… and they’re still staying here for free, after all of these years.
“So, how are you going to convince Robin to let you be Robin?” Jazz asked Tim.
Tim froze. “I… hadn’t thought of that yet.”
“Well, you could always remind him of the fact that we saved him from the Joker. He seemed pretty ready to leave the Robin mantle, the last time I saw him as Phantom.”
“I don’t want to blackmail him into it!” Tim whined.
“It’ll just be a suggestion, Tim.” Jazz smiled patiently.
“Besides,” Danny continued, smirking mischievously at his adopted little brother. “If you were actually blackmailing him, you’d pull out the photos where he ate dirt.”
“I guess that’s true…” Tim mumbled. “I know! I’ll have to follow them to see how I can best approach him!”
"I think that's called stalking," Jazz deadpanned.
"Well, it's not any worse than what he's already done." Danny shrugged at his older sister. "Sure, kid. Why not? Do whatever you want."
"I was planning to!" Tim bounced off to grab his photography gear. Jazz stared off after him.
"Should we be encouraging that?"
"More like can we actually stop him?" Danny leaned back, lazily completing his GED assignments. Jazz sighed.
"Guess not. Make sure he doesn't get in trouble."
"Do you even know how hard that is, Jazz?" Danny complained, dodging the whack Jazz sent at the back of his head. She smirked at him.
"Womp, womp, Danny. How does karma taste today?"
Danny flipped her off as he put the last punctuation on the paper. He heard a clatter and groaned.
“I’m gonna go watch Tim stalk Batman for the night. Want anything from the store?”
Jazz hummed. “Get me the specialty strawberry ice cream, from that one place?”
“The one that’s definitely a front for Falcone’s money laundering??”
“Yeah. They make good strawberry ice cream.”
“Sure.”
Danny went ghost and flew straight through the walls to catch Tim sneaking out by the scruff of his collar.
“No. Bad Tim.”
“Awww, come on Danny!”
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I feel like there would be such anxiety in the high society in and around Gotham when it comes to Bruce Wayne, his children and them attending galas.
I feel like he would basically never RSVP, but just show up with however many children he feels like. (Or accept everything and decide later).
What’s it’s gonna be? Bruce Wayne alone, flirty and drunk? Bruce Wayne, exhausted, because he has his whole gaggle of kids with him? Bruce Wayne and just some of his kids - if so, which one? The one that constantly climbs on something (tho he is popular with the young attendees and milfs), the 17yo CEO, the silent one (looks kinda scary but harmless), the sassy blonde one that isn’t even his fucking kid, the mystery blood child (very scary but if you have an animal charity he will donate lots of money), the newest no nonsense one or even the one that looks like the one who died and claims to have no relation to the Waynes but only ever hangs out with them.
Or will be bring a random date? Or his butler?
It’s a mystery, but you can bet: if even one Wayne shows up, it will be an interesting evening
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TW: Imagine the heart attack Ghost, Price an Konig will have once you introduce them to vapo rub
- -
The change in seasons definitely affected something in everyone. You always made one thing incredibly clear to him;
Season allergies are a bitch.
He had picked up movement from the corner of his eye at one point, unaware you had trodded out of your warm bed when he snuck off to make something hot to combat October’s chill.
By the time he turned around, you tugged off a folded comforter from the couch’s armrest and settled in on the cushions. A makeshift cocoon, a blanket consisting of oversized yarn tied into decorative knots you had bought from an overpriced store, hiding the body of his lovely person underneath.
With such a unique ability to move quietly, you’d make an incredible assassin in his book.
You didn’t respond when he asked if you wanted tea diluted with copious amounts of sweet honey, or cider. You didn’t move when he carried two steaming mugs, settling them down on the coffee table.
“Hun,” He nudged your shoulder. “Open those eyes. C’mon, you’ve got to tell me how awful I made your drink. Can’t start my day without it.”
Nothing. Not a peep.
The couch slouches with his weight as he sits, strong hands maneuvering to settle along your hip.
“Babe.” He gently shakes your arm with more effort, watching those pretty lashes flutter once you decided to open them.
“Hm?” You finally reply, like a little church mouse.
“C’mere.” His hands gently cradle along your thighs, a rumbled grunt emitting from his chest as he hauls you to sit up. Your sniffles become uneven sonnets, your body trembling like a leaf barely clinging to its dead branch on a dying autumn tree.
“Poor little thing,” he hums, a calloused hand cradling your very warm, very flushed cheek. “Why didn’t you stay in bed? Was barely gone five minutes.”
You pitifully shrug, hanging your head like a guilty child. He clicks his tongue, shaking his head in both amusement and mock disappointment.
With as little to no effort, he slips an arm under your buckled knees and torso, raising you up from the couch, in your expensive chenille blanket.
“Alright, c’mon. Back to bed. I’ll get ya some more Benadryl to help you sleep.”
Not to knock on wood, but if he gets sick after you, he knows your ciders will be heavenly. Especially with a splash of something strong to clear those airways.
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Out of the blue, Bruce announces to the batfam, that he does, in fact, have a favorite child. He proposes a challenge, that anyone who can guess the favorite child gets first dibs on Alfreds cooking for a whole month (practically winning the lottery) so the batkids are now invested.
Damian immediately guesses Dick, fully under the impression that he’s right and Bruce is just trying to play mind games with them. Damian was incorrect.
Dick guesses Jason after finding out it’s not him, he was wrong, it’s not Jason.
Now Jason is intrigued, he’s noticed Tim still hasn’t guessed but is probably analyzing everything. Knowing Tim takes awhile (even if he is always correct) Jason goes ahead and guesses anyways, completely confident in his answer. Jason guesses Duke, he is incorrect.
Babs, knowing she isn’t one of Bruces kids so she doesn’t count for this challenge (because if she did it would obviously be her) she guesses Damian, the obvious choice. His biological son. Bruce smirks and shakes his head.
Duke guesses Tim, an answer that would make the most sense. I mean, Tim is practically Bruce 2.0, but he isn’t the favorite child.
Suddenly it clicks, Tim is now frustrated it took him so long to see. Obviously the favorite is Cass, who else could it be?? Tim almost has a tantrum when told he was wrong.
Now everyone is confused, they’ve gone through all of his kids. Tim doesn’t know why he hasn’t solved this puzzle yet. He looks for more clues and sees Cass wearing a ring. An engagement ring. The same one Steph is also wearing. It finally makes sense.
“I know who it is,” Tim brags. “But I’ve already used my guess, so Cass, please do the honors.”
Cass then points to Stephanie. Bruce has the biggest grin on his face as his nods. This is how they all find out that Cass and Steph are getting married.
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