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#did I save this screencap or did this screencap save me?

stealthnoodle · 4 months

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More dispatches from my Dark Urge, who is trying her best not to disappoint her girlfriend (I have just kicked off Act 3)

My Dark Urge run almost went a different direction because I thought Karlach's romance was bugged ("can't wait to bang you like a gong tonight," she insinuates, and five long rests later my gong remains unbanged), but I finally ran through everything else going on in my camp and was at long last rewarded.

Lisa Frank got that life-changing piping hot Karlussy and she is being SO GOOD now. She was already trending that way, but now there are no more secret midnight murder nibbles. She's gone cold turkey and wow is her butler sore about it

The sheer number of times he tried to talk me into murdering Isobel was kind of hilarious. "You really want to kill her! ...Now she's all alone, so she would be super easy to murder! ...It's not too late to murder Isobel! ...She's right there, PLEASE, just one little murder? For me?" Sorry, bud, Lisa Frank likes Karlach more than viscera.

And I was STRESSED during the segment when the butler shows up and is like, you didn't kill Isobel? Fine. You're gonna sleep-kill Karlach. I burned some inspiration to make sure I woke her up instead of strangling her and the subsequent scene was absolutely wild. If Lisa Frank couldn't scare Karlach off with the murder-madness and the snarling and the biting, I guess these girls really are endgame! Peace and love on Planet Camp.

(I continue to worry constantly about Scratch and the owlbear cub.)

I'm also very sure now that I was right about the Bhaal connection. Act 2 has a lot of good Dark Urge content and tasty, tasty hints, and I am absolutely going to have a big damn confrontation with Orin in Act 3, yeah? I am HYPE. Lisa Frank will rock that jutilated jarapace.

Unrelated to Dark Urging, I didn't fuck up recruiting Jaheira this time, but having her in my party was buggy as shit. First I somehow aggroed the Harpers during the tower fight and had to run deep into the wilds to get away from them. She never got the Flee option, but I guess they gave up chasing her after everyone else fled? I then had to give the Harpers gifts to talk to them again, because they were all at -40. I am 99% certain I didn't friendly-fire them during the fight. (Miette absolutely friendly-fired their asses and no one got mad at her, but who can stay mad at a perpetually affronted kitty?)

But this was merely the baffling beginning. Everything got turbo-weird at the top of the tower.

Jaheira took up a party member slot but was still attached to Lisa Frank like a summon after I invited her to join permanently, and idk if that's normal but it didn't seem normal. If I tried to go to camp before jumping down the big hole, she yelled at me and then vanished forever, and if I got in a fight with the Death Shepard, there was no way to end the combat without the game crashing. I thought I was being so clever using Invisibility to grab shit and scamper away without triggering the fight, but then I discovered killing Ketheric Thorm ALSO reliably crashed the game. I had to roll back to a save at the top of the tower, tell her to join me, and then send her ass to camp alone.

What a journey we went through together, and then didn't go through together after all.

Speaking of buggy shit: I recruited Minthara by seeing what would happen if I knocked her out in Act 1 instead of killing her, and the answer is that it counted for goblin leader removal purposes and that she turned up in Moonrise Tower in her underwear because I fully looted her unconscious body. I think the game doesn't really want you to do this, because she's sharing a tent with Halsin in a way that doesn't look comfortable or intentional. Or maybe they've got a thing going on, I sure won't judge. Anyway, I have been delighted by her takes on the other party members, especially her casual dismissal of Gale, hahaha.

I expect Act 3 to be a roller coaster, but my first order of business is getting into the city proper so I can blow all my money on fancy clothes and dyes. For two acts I have done my best with what I've been handed, but it's about to get FASHIONABLE up in here. Let us bid a fond farewell to Lisa Frank's Disney Princess era:

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #stealthnoodle plays bg3 #i love lisa frank and can't stop won't stop screencapping her #karlach also loves lisa frank despite... a lot #sorry you're in your bra a lot lately karlach i just like you in those acid-washed high-waisted jeans #kicking myself for being too distracted by my own wtfing to screencap the jaheira bugginess #the lengths that i will go to in order to save a big dumb lunk for the sake of his hamster #i'm getting so much more astarion content this time because lisa frank doesn't constantly fuck with him the way miette did #i mean i will still be putting him in Outfits but i suspect he won't mind that part #anyway just discovered that people can toss me coins for doot-dooting on my flute in the streets so i'm going to do that incessantly now

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michaelsheens · 5 months

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you people think you are so great just cause you put together some gifs

dude what 🤡

ah yes, look at me, everyone! over here on my tumblr blog always acting like some big shot! look at how revered us gif makers are, with an abysmal like/reblog ratio and folks constantly stealing our stuff without credit :')

you people are part of the reason that more and more gif makers just don't even bother anymore; you have no idea how much work it actually is, you've probably never even opened photoshop once in your life, but you think you get to decide 'it's not that hard.' do it yourself then. pay for photoshop or try to find a free version that actually works, learn how to use it, pay for a vpn so you can safely download files, buy external hard drives cause man, you're gonna need so much space for all those GBs you're downloading since you need high quality files, get a player to screencap, cross your fingers photoshop (or your entire computer) doesn't crash when you load the screencaps, crop and resize your gif, make sure your sharpening settings look right for the file quality you're using, TRY TO MAKE UGLY FUCKING SCENES LOOK NICE SOMEHOW with 20 different layers, change said layers a bunch of times to get rid of grain, add subtitles (and don't you dare get anything wrong or have a typo), save your gif...but beware! it might just take ages and then it turns out it's over tumblr's size limit, so you go back and delete frames until it's finally right, and finally make sure your gif is running at the correct speed. go and do all of that for 2-10 gifs that look kinda decent, and then tell me again it's not that hard.

anyway. i don't even know what you think i did to warrant this message, i post my gifs and that's it. none of us think we're saving the fucking world lol, but at least stop talking down to us, and don't act like you'd have a whole lot to look at on here without people making gifs for you. have a nice day.

#answered #nonny

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emptymasks · 7 months

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Old Web European Musical Sites

So this post started because I was looking through the waybackmachine on the Internet Archive for the old Disney Fairies site for a friend, and remembered I'd backed up some old musical related sites a couple years ago on the waybackmachine just to archive them.

Which made me remember how recently I saw someone on here, I don't remember who, asking if there were interviews either about Elisabeth das Musical or specifically with Uwe Kroger (the actor who originated the role of Der Tod/Death) in English to which someone had answered no but there are some quotes and fragments in other posts on here. Which made me remember an old website I'd found that did have interviews on and I went out to find it. After I found it, I tried to find another website I'd found that had nice old photos of Uwe on that I'd save for I'd never seen them anywhere else, but sadly can no longer find the site and I hadn't bookmarked it or archived it. But, in doing so I did find some others.

So, come along with me as I find some ye olde websites based around European Musicals and Non-English Musicals, all of which I am archiving using the waybackmachine and can be found on my archive.org account @ wennli3b3 under the 'web archives' tab on my profile.

What is old web? The aesthetics wiki describes it as "Essentially consisting of screencaps and gifs, Old Web is an aesthetic utilizing traditional web design elements combined with aspects of poetry and self-expression. This also includes GIFs, video games, and clip-art. This aesthetic expresses nostalgia for Internet culture of the early 1990s to early 2010s." Think of old GeoCities and AngelFire websites, the pre-2010s internet where it wasn't uncommon for anyone to make their own little website for anything and the internet wasn't just social media. There's just such a charm for me about these old sites and the work people put into customising and decorating their sites, often just as a fun project for themselves or a way to document things they loved. Therefore the websites we'll be looking at are from the 90s up to the late 2000s, 2010s and onwards websites don't count for this list.

What is the waybackmachine? The waybackmachine is hosted on the Internet Archive, it's a digital archive of websites that lets you visit websites as they were during the past if they've been archived there.

[Note: this post won't have clickable links because that can make Tumblr unhappy and either hide or soft-block my post, so sadly no clickable links, but I will write out the links with spaces in the hopes that won't hide the post and you will just have to type them in for yourselves, and I will link my web archive page in the replies to this post. I am also not claiming to be the first to back these sites up or discover them, some of them have already been archived in past, but doing them all under one account means you guys can have an easy list of them all in one place. Some of these sites no longer exist and are only accessible via the waybackmachine, in those cases I will save those sites to my web archive so they are all listed on one page.]

1. musicalvienna . at

Staring with a website some of you will be familiar with and while in it's current 2023 form doesn't count as old web and is easily accessible, we're going back in time with the waybackmachine to see how the site looked and what information it had about old current productions in 2000-2008. And frankly I don't know what to do with the information that at some point in 2000 there was a 'vampire museum' inside the Raimund Theatre that had what appears to be a wax figure of Steve Barton in his original Graf von Krolock costume. I. What??

2. eljen . net / kroeger

A fansite dedicated to Uwe Kroger, the actor, that was run seemingly from 1998-2002 that old photos, links to music that no longer work, but most important to me is the 'Press' page that has many articles and interviews with Uwe that have been translated into English! The site is also available in German eljen . net / kroeger / deutsch. A special shoutout to Uwe's own drawing of himself as Der Tod.

3. eljen . net / elisabeth

Run by the same person as the first site, in fact it is technically the same site however if you go to the root eljen . net there is just a blank page with a link to the /kroeger site, there's no direct link to the Elisabeth site, you can only find it through googling or having the direct URL.

4. iukc . de

The Uwe Kroger fanclub webite seems to have started around 2000 but it was taken offline sometime after October 2021 as going to the URL now leads to a 404 error page, but the site is still accessible using the waybackmachine. On a 2019 capture of the website it states this fanclub was dissolved on December 31st 2019 and was advertising the uwe-kroeger-community . com website as a new fanclub. Some of the pages are available in English and Japanese, but all of the pages are only available in German. The site includes information about the fanclub, as well as lists of Uwe's work, discography, and more.

5. gudrun-kauck . de

A site that as far as I can tell is run by someone just documenting their life and things they see, and that happens to include many musicals. Down the left side of the site there are pages for The Phantom of the Opera, Tanz der Vampire, Ludwig, Concerts, Musicals and Actors. Here there is so much information, interviews, photos, screenshots, transcriptions of scripts and lyrics, articles, and more. This site is a real treasure trove. It's been updating since at least 2004 and it's most recent update was in 2023. This site is in German.

6. jimsteinman . com

The Tanz der Vampire page on Jim Stienman's website has links to lots of articles, interviews and photos for the original 1997 Vienna production and the 2000 Stuttgart production. This site is in English.

7. carpe-jugulujm . com

Another site that is no longer active and can only be accessed via the waybackmachine, it was online by 2006 and taken offline between late 2021 and 2023. It has information on productions of Tanz der Vampire between 1997 and 2009 and is one of the few if not the only place I've found information about the 2000 Estonia production. This site is in English.

8. geocities . ws / mymusicalworlds

This website is all in Chinese, however parts of it are in English and German. It lists information on different musicals, actors, and has lyrics for songs, and photos. It also has midi files but, as with almost all of these old sites, the download links no longer work.

9. theatre-musical . com

This website started around 2002 and was closed some time in 2016, if you go to the website now all you'll get is a message saying the website has been closed, however the old pages are still accessible via the waybackmachine. There's pages for many musicals with lots of information about each show and each of these musical pages has a link to a page that lists other sites, official and fanmade, that are about this musical. There's many more sites to find via

10. elisabeth-fanclub . de

A fansite dedicated to Elisabeth das Musical, more specifically the 2001 Essen production and 2003 Vienna Revival. This site includes information and photos about these productions. It was online by 2004 and was taken offline some time after 2007 and is only now available via the waybackmachine. This site is in German.

11. sisi-net . de

While this site is more dedicated to the actual real Empress Elisabeth, it also has a page dedicated to Elisabeth das Musical which includes several articles and interviews for the 2001 Essen production. There is also some information on here about the Ludwig musical. This site is in German. It was online by 1999, in 2008 the site was empty and "'"under construction" and after 2008 seemed to have either had it's domain sold or hacked and became used for something else, and by 2019 was offline.

12. geocities . com / broadway / 8851

Another site that is dedicated to the real person Elisabeth, but also has information about multiple productions of Elisabeth das Musical. The site was started in 1996 and is no longer online as GeoCities no longer exists as a website hoster, but can be accessed using the waybackmachine. This site is in English.

13. elisabeth-musicpage . de

A German fansite for the 2001 Essen production of Elisabeth das Musical that contains information about the show, merchandise, photos, etc. The site was online by 2002, went under construction in 2005 and after 2006 went offline and only accessible via the waybackmachine. This site is in German.

14. elisabeth-das-musical . de

The old official site for the 2001 Essen production of Elisabeth das Musical. It's only accessible via the waybackamachine however all I could access is this homepage as the site seems to require flash player which no longer exists. The site was made in 2001, by 2006 it was redirecting to a different website that no longer exists, and by 2008 it was just offline.

15. sissi . nl

The official site for the 1999 Dutch production of Elisabeth das Musical. The site went up in 1999 and is no longer online and only accessible via the waybackmachine.

16. marloes . info

A site where someone cataloged every musical they saw between 1996 and 2004. Some of these listings link to their reviews of the musicals and pictures they took (the pictures of Elisabeth das Musical really interest me because they went on a night where Jesper Tyden was understudying for Der Tod (he usually played Rudolf) in teh 2001 Essen production).

17. danceofthevampries . com

The official site for the 2002 Broadway production of Tanz der Vampire. Whilst we all have... feelings about this production, the site's design is very of its time. It has information on the (re-written) plot, cast, downloads for the original English demo recordings (that no longer work), and more. In 2002 the cast page lists the Broadway cast, after the shows closure in 2003 these pages advertised the 2003 Hamburg cast, and by 2006 it now advertises the 2006 Berlin cast, and then even by 2012 that page was no longer being updated. This site is now only accessible via the waybackmachine, I don't know when exactly it went offline but I remember being able to acccess it back in 2020. This site is in English.

18. tanzdervampire . de

The official site for German-lanuage productions of Tanz der Vampire from 2000 to around 2004, mostly the 2003 Hamburg production. Some pages of the site sometimes redirect to musicalwelt . de, like the 'galarie' page that links to a page of many paintings by Mike Schöbs of the original 1997 Vienna production. The site is only accessible via the waybackmachine, sometimes I have difficultly loading the pages, and sometimes the pages on later dates redirect to stagegholding . de which no longer exists or works.

19. tanz-der-vampire . de

A fansite for the 2003 Hamburg production of Tanz der Vampire that is still online. It has info about the musical and this production. The page I found the most interesting is the info > links page. It has a list that includes screenshots of websites from around 2003 with official and fanmade sites for different actors from the musical (such as Marjan Shaki, Maike Switzer, Aris Sas, Thomas Mülner, Jens Janke, Ian Jon Bourg, Kevin Tarte and more) most if not all of these sites are on the waybackmachine (and I'm saving them to my own web archive page rather than listing them all here, Tumblr has a text limit and an image limit and we're already running close to it).

20. fuer-sarah . de

A fansite dedicated to actors who played Sarah including understudies, alternates, swings, and dancers who played Sarah/Solo Female Dancer in the dance sequences in Tanz der Vampire. This site is in German and is only available via the waybackmachine and was active between 2001-2005.

21. musicalland . de

A fansite dedicated to musical theatre with some more specific pages dedicated too Elisabeth das Musical, The Phantom of the Opera, 42nd Street and Mamma Mia. The site is still online and stopped updating in 2010. This site is in German. The link to the Elisabeth das Musical page no longer works, but can still be accessed using the waybackmachine.

22. old-hickory . demon . co . uk / jim

A fan page for composer Jim Steinman that has pages about his non-musical work as well as his musicals Tanz der Vampire and Whistle Down the Wind. The Tanz der Vampire pages include lyrics in German and English, as well as the entire original 1997 Vienna libretto translated into English, as well as the 2000 Stuttgart production's programme fully translated into English that includes information and interviews. The site is in English and only accessible via the waybackmachine.

23. romeojulietmusicals . com

A fan site for the French musical Roméo et Juliette that has pages dedicated to many different language productions with cast lists, information, lyrics and lyric translations. There are galleries on the site but the images on longer load. This site is in English and was online between 2004 to 2008. There is a 'related links' page that contains so many more links to other musical sites.

24. compat . tf1 . fr

A fan site for Roméo et Juliette for the original 2000 Paris production containing images of the cast, and video interviews and behind the scenes with links that no longer work. This site is in French.

25. mozartbudapest . hu

The official website for the 2003 Budapest production of Mozart das Musical. This website is only accessible via the waybackmachine, it contains the cast list, a bio of Mozart (the person), but sadly most of the image no longer work. I mention it here only because when i opened it I was surprised the original logo animation and music still played. This site is available in English and Hungarian.

26. notredameonline . com

During 2000-2001 this URL was for the French musical Notre Dame de Paris and you can see this via the waybackmachine. The site then went offline after 2001 and the domain was sold and since 2006 has belonged to the University of Notre Dame. I really like the design of this site, sadly most of the links open pop-ups that no longer work. The site is available in French and English.

27. notredamedeparis . it

The official site for the 2002 Italian tour of Notre Dame de Paris. It has a lot of information about the musical and this specific production. This site is in Italian and is only accessible via the waybackmachine.

28. geocities . ws / dreamcatcher182004

A fansite dedicated to a few musicals that was last updated in 2003. It has pages for Chicago, Les Mis, Miss Saigon, The Phantom of the Opera and Tanz der Vampire.

So yeah, that was a list. I hope that was interesting or for anyone wanting to find more information about these musicals for research, essays, or just for fun, that this post was helpful or interesting in some way. There are a lot more websites than just the ones on this list, however Tumblr has both a photo and a character limit for text posts. If you want a larger catalog you can look at my Internet Archive (archive . org) page @ WennLi3b3 and go to my 'web archives' page, this lists both pages I myself have archived and pages other's have archived and I have bookmarked. Hope someone found this interesting. I just like making lists.

#this is so niche omg but i love old web and euro musicals and hey theres some good resources on here for anyone looking for info on musicals #hi im damien im 25 and i love to make lists #european musicals #non english language musicals #tanz der vampire #elisabeth das musical #notre dame de paris #nddp #retj #romeo et juliette #roméo et juliette #mozart das musical #phantom of the opera #mytext #masterlists #poto #europeanmusicals

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wind-up-thancred · 7 months

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bit of thancred character musing under the cut that im gonna try to approximate from a 6am discord rambling into something i can actually post. both SHB and EW spoilers included

i saw some folks talking on twt about how guilt seems to be a very important factor in his life and i agree. i think a lot of major parts of his character and arcs have been due to guilt over something he did (or didnt even really do, re: the whole goobue rampage situation). it's driven him to work his ass off after louisoix which lead to him getting possessed... but its probably also what motivated him to do better for ryne after being forced to look his fuckups directly in the eye instead of just wallowing about them. but i think, at the same time, he doesnt really seem to, like... actually be proud of himself for a lot of the stuff he's done in order to work off that guilt? the biggest giveaway for that being the line in endwalker on the ragnarok where he talks about his "good deeds" cynically and seems to insist that they were never really that impactful in the first place. that they'll just go to dust when he dies.

in shb, during the ahm areng segment, not only does he talk down on himself in general, but also puts down his attempts to help OG minfilia back in the pre-ARR days... when i'm pretty sure she never even blamed him for the goobue rampage in the first place.

it's all a little bit sad to me, tbh. i've seen some people reason that, because he was only able to escape poverty due to louisoix seeing potential in his thieving skills, he's essentially internalized the idea that he's only really worth keeping around by ANYONE if he's actively being productive, either helping others or trying to fix whatever fuckups he feels he's made. i think that would explain a lot of this

note the "few positive traits" line, which to me comes across as "i was only picked up out of childhood poverty because he thought my skills were useful." though i don't really know how much of that mentality he's managed to work past by post endwalker. he IS able to go off on his own, and mentions that he trusts the scions to keep themselves safe now... but as i ranted about before, the short story points out that he's only really content to rest briefly before he feels obligated again to seek out unrest to try and help, specifically mentioning minfilia again. also, a couple times during the story, notably post ARR after his possession, mid SHB after he's wounded in a fight with sineaters, and post SHB after he passes out due to the weakening soul-body bond, he seems to dislike even having to rest for medical reasons

it's a pretty interesting part of his character to me. idk if the writers specifically had his rigorous upbringing in mind when they wrote these parts of his character, but to me it would make a lot of sense as an explanation for why he's so averse to rest and why he carries so much guilt and why he's so passionate about keeping the folks around him safe. that's kinda been his whole reason for life since he was a kid-- using his skills for the benefit of others. to him, doing anything other than that would be a waste, it seems.

idk. funny guy makes my heart hurt. yes i had all these dialogue screencaps saved and on hand. yes i am a little insane. what of it

#ffxiv #um idk if i wanna tag this. maybe. whatever #thancred #thancred waters #shadowbringers spoilers #endwalker spoilers

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pikaflute · 8 months

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This post contains spoilers for Army of the Doomstar, and also screencaps from the movie under the read more. This post is just about Nathan and Pickles by the way.

Okay let's talk about Nickles is real. I said in an earlier post that Charles directly tells Pickles to be Nathan's friend. Nathan at this point is afraid. He's got....a lot going on after being recently hospitalized due to exhaustion, coupled with the trauma of being the only one who remembers Requiem and having to be put on Xanax (possibly for anxiety). So now more than ever Nathan needs support. He needs his band. He needs a friend. He needs....well Pickles.

Obviously Pickles is already Nathan's friend. His best friend even. Despite all of Season 4, Pickles still cares a lot about Nathan. Even during this conversation with Charles he's like 'that's all?'. He's already doing that. Pickles throughout this movie is the one character trying his hardest to be there for Nathan. Calling him buddy, being supporting of him during the training, keeping an eye on him, doing everything he can to make sure Nathan is alright to not only write the song to save the world but just in general. Nathan needs it.

It also is worth mentioning that Charles probably chose Pickles for that exact reason. He probably knew he didn't need to tell him to be Nathan's friend either. No other member of Dethklok would've been as close to Nathan as Nathan is with Pickles. His drummer.

When they're with Knubbler, he calls them both the dad (nathan) and the mom (pickles). Why did he do this. I know why but. Humor me. By the way Pickles really leans into the mom role in this. This is a real line said in the movie:

Anyway during the scene after Murderface's exorcism, Nathan blames himself for fucking up the song of salvation. And then Pickles slaps him. When Nathan says "Everyone abandoned me" Pickles tells him:

Pickles knows! He experienced it! Nathan pushed him away and didn't tell him about the whale in Season 4 which caused the initial fight in the season. Coupled along with Nathan's attraction towards Abigail, Pickles knows first hand how Nathan pushes people out and shuts down when things happen to him. Now he's doing it again. He's shut out his band, he "broke up" with the fans due to his own issues, and with Abigail he couldn't let his own feelings be pushed aside and listen to hers.

Sure. It looks like slapping him isn't the best way to get through to him, but, Pickles knows Nathan. This is being his friend. Nathan is stubborn. He doesn't listen. This is how it's gonna get through to Nathan that, hey dipshit, you're not alone. You have others. You have me. (In fact. It's how Nathan go to Pickles in Fatherklok if you remember that correctly.) Nathan realizing he wants everyone to come back to help him is also somewhat similar to his apology to Pickles to come back at the end of Season 4. But that's just be tinhatting.

Also during this Murderface goes "this is weird." He doesn't like seeing mom and dad fight.

Later. Before they perform the song of salvation: this happens. With Nathan calling Pickles the best mother (fucker. Motherfucker.)

If this line isn't a metaphor for "I love you" than I'm going to play in traffic. The emphasis on the you in Nathan's line. I'll blow up.

Later on when they get kidnapped by Salacia and are essentially given their last meals, Pickles' orders Nathan's, further cementing how they're friends. A lead singer and his drummer.

why are you looking at a another man like that. HUH

Also Pickles touches Nathan like a lot this movie.

DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS MAN.

THE TENDER TOUCH. THE CARESS. MAN WHEN I SAW THIS I HAD TO GO TAKE A LAP AROUND MY HOUSE. I GOT SO EMOTIONAL AND PISSED. MAN. MAAAAAN.

This movie nails their relationship. How Nathan acts because of his role on the metalocalypse. How he handles his emotions. How the band handles their emotions. How Nathan and Pickles' friendship still is strong despite everything that happened to them. How Pickles is the one to snap Nathan to his senses and act like a real friend to Nathan; one he really needed. This movie is amazing and I cried like a baby.

Anyway this was Pickles in AOTD

And this was Nathan

Run me a check for nickles screenwriting credits Brendon. I'll be expecting it in my inbox by the end of the week.

#metalocalypse #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #aotd spoilers #aotdspoilers #mtl spoilers #army of the doomstar

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red-riding-wood · 1 year

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Saltwater Tears

@runnning-outof-time K... Tumblr ate your ask when I saved it to my drafts so I apologise for the shitty screencap (I always take these beforehand in case it does this lol). And thank you for the request. <3 As I promised, I brought all the angst.

Also, while writing this, the character/reader reminded me of the song Dragonslayer by Lana Del Rey (Isa, you have ruined me) so I decided to use that as some added inspiration.

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x F!Reader

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

WARNINGS: Angst, sexual references, mentions of cheating, language

WC: 1816

Thomas’ words still echoed through your throbbing skull, no amount of his haughtiness lost on your memory as you trudged through the rain slicked streets. The coldness of his gaze was blazoned on the forefront of your mind, the flippancy with which he had dismissed you after the tense meeting with your father as if you were merely a trophy to flaunt before shelved to suffocate in a slow build of dust.

And with each step, your lungs seemed to constrict tighter. With each step, you remembered bits and pieces of the evidence you’d found of his infidelity – the unfamiliar hair brush on his bedside table, the smell of another woman’s perfume on his sheets. You hadn’t wanted to believe it, hadn’t found your suspicion to be unbearable until now.

He called your name past the roar of the storm, but it only drove the spike in your heart deeper each time, your tears mingling with the cold of the rain and your body shuddering from head to toe.

And yet, every time your name was uttered, you couldn’t help but falter, your bleeding heart beating for him and some cruelly human part of your mind urging you to turn back and let yourself fall into arms that would be so warm in the cold, that would soothe the bitterness in your burning veins.

You jumped back, a sheet of filth drenching the skirt of your dress. A shiver seemed to travel to the very marrow of your bone, and as you stopped, staring in shock at the car that sped by and the road you had nearly stepped across, your heart felt as if it were about to split your ribcage in half.

“Y/N.” A gravelly yet distant voice called to you so soft now, a warm breath on your neck sending another shiver to your aching bones. You turned, slowly, and swallowed your grief as you met Thomas’ piercing eyes. Once his touch grazed the bare of your arm, it was over. You weren’t going anywhere.

“Let’s talk about this,” he said, catching his own breath as his fingers travelled down the length of your arm and laced with your own that shivered, numb, from the cold.

That was the first time you had ever heard Thomas Shelby suggest you talk about anything, and it pulled at an aching heart.

“Okay. Let’s talk,” you breathed, voice nearly washed away by the roar of the storm. You blinked fiercely, lashes fluttering in the rain that struck them. “You never told me your history with my father.”

“It’s in the past,” Thomas said, and you nearly winced at his words. As his other hand reached to brush the hair slicked to your cheek, you flinched away. And like that, your bleeding heart came undone, and you said, “Really, that little pissing match was ‘in the past’? The entire purpose of that meeting was just to rub his nose in the fact that you fucked me.”

Thomas’ hand seemed to catch in the air, not used to this side of you. The side of you that was bitter, that was fed up.

And he didn’t say anything. But his fingers loosened from yours.

You choked back a sob, and your words came weaker now, and you stammered over them because you couldn’t believe what you were saying, didn’t want to imagine him answering. “Did you… did you ever… Do you really want me? Or is this your way of getting back at my father?”

All your life, you’d been taken advantage of by men who wished to grow closer to your family for their ties and their power. And while your father had many enemies – the Blinders included – you never could have imagined that someone would pretend to love you just to hurt him, let alone the one person who seemed to understand you, who’d offered you some ounce of reprieve in this unforgiving city.

You’d been used many times, but this, this was different. It would’ve hurt less had you stepped onto that road.

Thomas was still silent, chest heaving as he panted out his own breaths. Blue eyes twisted with grief, the bright of them taking your reluctant mind through memories of the pastel sky above the two of you as you rode through the countryside, of the dress he had bought you and had said did not compare to your beauty.

Your fingers bunched the drenched fabric of the very same dress, peeling wretched garment from your flesh as if it caged you to such memories. You tried not to think of all the times you’d worn it for him, that it had been discarded across the same bed that had been inhabited by other women.

“I know about her,” you added bitterly. “Or them. I know about them.” Your eyes bled tears, and your heart pumped venom. “I’ve lied to myself for too long,” you said, as you began to turn away. “Goodbye, Thomas.”

“They were just business.”

You halted, anger flaring from the raw ache of your heart, and you spun on your heel. “So you’re using them, too?” you snapped. “Everything is business with you, Thomas. Everything. Even me.”

“You’re not just business.” He took a step forward. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

It seemed as if your heart hadn’t broken enough. At his words, it shattered in your chest.

“Y/N, I want you,” he said. “And I don’t say it enough, but I love you. It was never about your father.”

“What was it about, then?” Your voice shook and you fought against every basic instinct to draw him in close, to press your chin to his chest and hear his own heart beating for yours.

He shook his head, lips parted but not speaking, as if at a loss for words. You were about to turn away again, when he took another step forward, his hot breath fanning against your cheeks. “That first time you asked me to take you to the ocean. And fuck me, I nearly didn’t say yes.” The faintest of chuckles broke his speech, the rare chuff of his laughter clawing at your aching chest. “But when you caught the wind in your hair it was like you came alive.”

Past the damp of the rain you could smell the sea, could nearly taste the saltwater on your lips when he’d kissed you that day. The last of your worries had melted away in the heat of that kiss, had been swept away by the breeze and carried far offshore. Or so you had thought.

“And you made me feel alive,” he said, his hands cupping your cheeks now. You were paralysed, at his mercy, leaning into his touch and inhaling the scent of horses and gunpowder past the rain. “For the first time since the war.”

Breaths exchanged, and you tilted your head so that his lips brushed your forehead instead, and you said, “Why don’t you say things like this to me more?”

“I don’t know. But I can. Just come back to me.” His fingers wrapped around the back of your neck as if to trap you. You’d never heard him so desperate. It nearly made you do exactly what he asked.

As if that wasn’t what you yearned for. As if you wouldn’t do anything to forget all of this and go back to that day by the sea, or under the pastel blue sky on the back of a racehorse.

“I want to.” You could hear his heart beating now, thundering like the hooves of one of his horses as you uttered your truths into the dampened fabric of his shirt. “And I want to believe you. But I don’t know if I should.”

“Come back inside,” he breathed against your hair.

“I don’t know if my heart can take this, Thomas.” You tore yourself away, practically shoving him off while avoiding his gaze. “I don’t know if I can go through this again if you’re lying…”

“I’m not lying. Look at me. Look at me.” Firm fingers swept beneath your chin and forced your gaze to his.

“If I make you feel so alive, why do you keep killing me, slowly? Why do I keep watching you drift from me?” As if you were taken by that ocean. Your saltwater lips trembled around your words.

They were questions you’d been burning to ask for a long time now. Questions you’d buried beneath your own lies that you told yourself, like how you’d buried your anguish beneath the sands of the beach only to feel it slam once more against your chest, harder, more forceful than anything you’d known.

You couldn’t take it anymore, not as each second of silence that dragged by killed a piece of you. “You can’t answer. And if I come back to you, it’s going to keep happening.” You spoke past the rising sand in your throat until it came out as a whimper, and you shook your head helplessly, and you realised that it was your tears that you could taste on your tongue, not the ocean. “I’m so torn, Thomas.”

“I’ll flip a coin,” he said, digging into his pocket. “Heads, you trust me. Tails, you walk away.”

Those words might as well have been the last nail in your coffin. They’d sealed your fate, at one time. When he’d asked you to work for him. When you knew the moment the silver caught the wink of light that he would be your undoing no matter what it landed on.

“Not everything can be solved with a coin,” you protested, the bitter taste of betrayal on your tongue.

“Remember, it will tell you what you want. Remember when – “

“I remember, Thomas.” It was all coming crashing down on you just like the rain that pelted your shivering body, and you closed your eyes, your tears achingly warm as they bled across your cheeks.

“Watch.”

“No – “

The coin was a watery vision as it came down in the air, your lashes peeling open and lips parting in terror. Whatever it landed on, it was over. Either he’d kill you slowly or you’d die here, tonight; you’d never be the same. Your fate had always been sealed.

He snapped the coin shut in his hand. You met his eyes, your own fear reflected in their bright blues. And you realised that neither of you wanted to look. And so, tentatively, you asked,

“What is it?”

Slowly, he opened his hand. Slowly, you both looked at the coin. And slowly, the shards of your heart weighed so heavy in your chest that you felt as if you’d collapse to your knees.

But the answer wasn’t what crushed you. It was the realisation that, despite what the coin said, despite knowing what was best for you, you just…

… you couldn’t.

A.N. I'm leaving the ending ambiguous and it's up to you if the coin landed on heads or tails!

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raayllum · 4 months

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Mirrored Paths Trilogy #2: In the Name of Love, I Would Do Anything For You —Callum & Viren

Part 2 of a mini meta trilogy dissecting Callum, Karim, and Viren's parallels, with a special emphasis on S5. For the general overview, and if you want to read Karim and Viren's parallels, you can read that analysis here. It is useful to read but not necessary in order to understand this one, as this meta is Part 2 and will discuss Callum and Viren.

Now, I've talked a lot about Viren and Callum. Like, a Lot a lot. Therefore, I'm not going to repeat too much of their Arc 1 buildup here, and focus more loosely on their S5 parallels in particular. However:

If you're interested in their pre-season 4 buildup, check out these metas: How Callum and Viren have parallel arcs in S2, Relics, Rage, and Magic: The Callum-Viren Foils Meta, the foils screencap compilation post I've been cultivating since Nov 2019 pre S3 (updated to include past that point)

If you're interested in post-S4 thoughts, check out these metas: The Interlocking of the Cycle’s Wheel with Viren, Claudia, Callum, and Rayla, How Viren and Callum stack up flaws wise, I sure do love foils that switch, How Callum's morality differs from Ezran and Rayla's (and always has)

If you're interested in post-S5 thoughts, check out these metas: What did Viren and what does Callum want?, How Callum and Viren sacrifice (written post-S4 but updated with S5 screencaps), Why ramp up the foiling?

Now I'm not gonna expect you to read all that because 1) I'm aware I have a problem, 2) it'd be time consuming as hell, and 3) I'm going to summarize the most important takeaways for you to understand the foundation this next section of meta is built on. (None of it is complicated, mind you, but just to make it clear where I'm coming from.) If you have read all those metas, or even made it this far on this one, thank you for enabling me reading and I hope you('ve) enjoy(ed).

Now for the key takeaways:

S5 went basically exactly where I've thought Callum would go since S1/S2 and Viren since S3 re: Viren giving up dark magic and having an atonement arc/breaking away from Aaravos, whereas Callum — in order to free and save someone he loves, specifically Rayla — chooses to chain himself further to Aaravos

Although still very different, Callum and Viren are worryingly, exceedingly similar in many ways, largely in their agreement that dark magic can be a useful last resort and in their devotion to their loved ones (aka "in the name of love" + the "I would do anything [for my family/loved ones]" parallel

Where Viren is willing to put certain things (the kingdom, his own quest for power, humanity) above his family (and wrongfully so), Callum is not. He says he would do anything, and means it (thank you post-s2 me, you were the realest bitch)

Rayla and Aaravos are foils, particularly in their dynamics with Callum and Viren respectively. They are both banished, exiled elves who were seen as being/are too sympathetic towards humans, they mentor high mages of Katolis, hunt each other's high mages, and S6 will put Rayla and Aaravos vying for Callum's destiny (control) to the test as his two paths (although choosing Rayla over Aaravos may not be mutually exclusive, but that's another post). Rayla killing Viren unintentionally put him on a path to stray from Aaravos, whereas Callum saving her / their relationship is what has consistently putting him on a path towards Aaravos

Now, S2 and S4 definitely have more parallels between them structurally for our two high mages. S2 is linked above, so I'll focus on S4: asking to die but being refused by Claudia and Rayla respectively; being reunited with someone they love after two years; Callum attempting to shut down his feelings in Rayla's absence / upon her return much the way Viren did in his time as high mage; the mirror and general framing, particularly in 4x01; sharing a (re-)birthday; their impatience in 4x02, which is also a parallel with Karim; the pawn intros; Rayla interrupting Callum's investigation of the mirror while Viren likewise attempts to diverge paths; picking up what they'd been refusing to all season in 4x09 within seconds of each other, and similar framing to boot, since dark magic led to Viren's destruction, and Rayla will possibly (unintentionally) lead to Callum's:

Let's get into it: S5

Now, S5 is less obvious in some ways. The one big framing parallel they get, beat for beat, is Callum going to investigate Aaravos in the library, placing his book on the same table, being interrupted by the librarian (which is honestly more of a running gag than something tangible), the script being magically washed away, etc.

Therefore, with all of the above out of the way, we have three main things to consider:

1) Their dark magic dreams from 2x06 and 5x03 respectively, in which they face mirrored reflections of each other

I wrote after S2 that I thought Callum refusing his dark counterpart in 2x08 was ultimately going to end up being more about actively being a dark mage than doing dark magic ever again, mostly because — while we didn't know if the show would ever put him in said position — I always figured Callum would do dark magic again in well, about the exact circumstances canon forced him into in 5x08. (And it was extremely satisfying, lemme tell you.) Viren giving up dark magic was more surprising, but they've always been switching foils, so the exchange makes perfect sense on that level.

I talked really briefly about some of the similarities between their dreams, but I wanted to touch on some here as well:

Their choices are both framed around objects of Aaravos. For Callum, it's a key he initially rejects. For Viren, it's the mirror, but instead of connecting to and looking to Aaravos to help him, he looks to and accepts himself.

Viren has to reach forward and connect with himself, whereas Callum pulls away from his mirror self

Viren's dreams are about dismantling his justifications (or the why) behind what he did, whereas Callum's skip over his justifications and instead focus on what he did. Both of these accordingly inform their identity

Viren is saved from literal drowning upon waking up, Callum is saved from a more metaphorical kind

Freedom is the cornerstone of both reflective scenes. Viren and Callum both leave their initial dreams being free (or freer than before). While this holds true for Viren until the current end of his arc (5x09), Callum in 5x08 is handed a sharp reminder that freedom is no guarantee, and how that may continue

The path metaphor that was running loosely throughout their arcs ("I am offering you a path forward [with dark magic] / Callum's tendency towards shortcuts / "I'm afraid, Rayla. What if I'm on a path of darkness?") is now being brought to the forefront here through Viren both being made actively aware of his choices per path ("Because I have followed a dark path") and him deciding to get off of it in 5x09.

2) Both being driven to desperation and resolve to try and save someone they love (Claudia, Rayla)

I figured that, per Viren getting an atonement arc at all, that what would make the most sense is S5 forcing Viren and Callum to confront their moral horizon lines about what they were, or were not willing to do, in order to save Claudia and Rayla pre-S5. For the S4 reasoning behind that, I'll recommend one of the metas linked above regarding those four and the Interlocking of the Cycle's Wheel. I was very pleased to see a decent chunk of it come to fruition. I figured Callum would be able to save Rayla at a steep cost, and Viren would be unable to successfully save Claudia (cause consequences have to catch up to you sooner rather than later, and they tend to catch Viren first and Callum second).

This is, of course, perhaps most exemplified by the show chipping away to the core of dark magic, which is what are you willing to do to save the people you love, even against their will, and that Callum has every good reason to be worried, accordingly, about a very exploitable part of himself.

Which we'll talk about more when we get to:

3) Viren revoking dark magic and Aaravos, whereas Callum does dark magic again and worries he's further tethered himself to Aaravos

In season 5 in a lot of ways, Viren comes to fully understand and accept Harrow's rebuttal to dark magic in 1x02, which was, "We may not pay now, but we will pay the blood price eventually! What do you think got us here? Dark magic!" The blood price went from Sarai's unintentional death, to Thunder's purposeful one, to Zym's false one, to Harrow's 'real' (?) one, and so and so forth.

Viren tried to ignore the sunk cost fallacy by believing it was already too late to turn everything around, and that doubling down to skirt consequences would continually work... until it didn't, and he had to accept the only person writing his fate was himself: "Every step forward is a choice," and thereby another chance to do the right thing, or make better choices, under the circumstances you have — to at least try.

This parallel, then, between Viren doing what he can to set himself free vs Callum chaining himself further to Aaravos is, in a lot of ways, both the most dreadful and happiest potential parallel and contrast between on a few different levels. Let me explain:

S6 as the Fall, S7 as the Rise

I talked about this pre-S5, citing it as a reason I believed Viren and Callum were ultimately switching rather than solely contrasting foils — re: Viren getting better in S5, and Callum getting worse in S5/S6 — simply due to the fact that given that S6 will be TDP's 11th hour, things might be going okay for the antagonist crowd, but the protagonist side of things, particularly Callum, will need to be hitting rock bottom.

Thus, it seemed pretty obvious from a structural standpoint, as well as Stars (and destiny by extension) having an association with Aaravos that S6 would involve Callum playing his part in Aaravos' plans, with S7 being the reclamation of his agency and therefore defeat of his narrative Rival for well, narrative control. S6 being Callum's fall, S7 being his rise — stronger than before, and freer and more magically in tune than ever.

Prior to S5, it was typically accepted (by myself included) that while purposefully very similar to one another in both framing and personality, that mirroring would eventually shed, and, come S7 Viren would ultimately provide a contrast to Callum, with Callum breaking away from Aaravos in ways Viren was never able to, and this would be the Big Defining Difference between them in terms of like, narrative cohesion and plot. (Emotionally, the biggest difference has always, arguably, been that Viren is more world focused — to his detriment in arc 1 in particular — than focused on his loved ones, whereas Callum is deeply and sometimes dangerously devoted to the people he loves.)

However, S5 makes that previous contrast prediction untrue, because Viren does break away from Aaravos (in fact, just an episode decidedly before Callum seems — metaphorically at least — to take a step towards him). Therefore rather than just being a contrast, Viren is meant to be a true mirror in equal measure, simply because by virtue of letting Viren break away from Aaravos' control, when Callum eventually does so, he will likewise — once again — be following in Viren's footsteps, just in a positive way rather than a 'negative' way like before. If Viren was meant to solely be a contrast — as has been theorized previously — than Callum staying under Aaravos' control would actually be the provided ending. Of course the show isn't doing that for Very Obvious Reasons, but I think it's worth noting that now, in order for Callum to have a happy ending at all, he has to follow in Viren's footsteps — all of them. Rather than being one of solely warning and foreboding, Viren's narrative has turned into one of hope for Callum, too.

V: I am free, and so are you.

But in order to talk about salvation, we have to first talk about destruction, namely:

Dark Magic and Death

Dark magic and death have long been associated with each other in series. Dark magic requires killing or consuming a magical creature — elf, dragon, or otherwise — to be used/harvested for power. It affects the souls of those being used as spell parts (Through the Moon) and you can use any part of the body within reason, even their ashes upon cremation (1x03, 2x09), or their final breath (against their wishes in 3x06). Hell, dark magic makes you smell like death (3x01), turns you into a more corpselike appearance, and season two novelization just furthers this association outright during the passages of Callum's dark magic visions/dream:

Callum turned the cube frantically to see which primal was glowing. How could any of the primals glow in this dark place? Something about this cube tied his stomach in knots. It wasn’t natural. A vision flickered in front of his face. Dozens of dead animals in a field. A dead butterfly. A dead deer. A dead unicorn. Cackling laughter. He chucked the cube away from him with all his might. The glowing rune was dark magic. It represented death.

Thereby in 2x08 itself, the rejection dark magic symbolized by the cube is pretty simple. Callum rejects being a dark mage as his primary magic use, he rejects the 'easier' road, he still believes he can possibly access primal magic, and in doing so, he rejects death. He won't become a dark mage, he won't seek out his death or others in order to have control/power, and he won't become a corpselike figure.

But a couple seasons later, we see S4 and S5 reverse and complicate that in 1) having him, literally, seek his own and Aaravos' deaths in order to feel in control/have power, and therefore 2) perfectly foreshadowing his eventual dark magic use/relapse, for lack of a better word. Just as the show leans farther away from "dark magic is easy" (and it is, in some ways, emotionally easier to deal with consequences when you can change them) and more into "dark magic will destroy you — your identity and your body — if you keep using it".

S5, likewise, also starts to break down the negative associations of dark magic being linked to death, and indeed the negative associations with death itself. For most characters in the series, death is solely a tragedy, but for Harrow and Viren of themselves, staring their own deaths in the face — and choosing to die — instead became a vehicle for repentance, change, and subsequent self-actualization.

Death, for Harrow, and more importantly for the sake of this meta, is not just doom and gloom, but a choice and therefore a culmination as well as a chance for transformation. Just as Viren's death in 3x09 allowed him to be re-born with clear eyes (a literal Re-Birthday, if you will), him choosing this next death shows the full scope of his character arc. Previously, he died because he was chasing all the things he didn't have with Aaravos' aid, and by 5x09, he's rejecting Aaravos' help and dying alone in the woods with nothing, yet it feels like a tragic sort of victory all the same.

We also see a more complicated view of dark magic alongside ideas of self-actualization. Previously, dark magic was seen as something that would make you routinely lose yourself (Viren, Claudia) until you had by and large become the worst version of yourself. S5 complicates this a bit more by connecting Callum doing dark magic to his ability to access the Ocean arcanum, as he remembers/mimics the motion of crushing the slug before connection (and parallels Viren's 5x03 hand symbolism to boot):

Whereas Viren unmakes his choice to take on Aaravos' deal in 2x07, Callum unmakes his choice to refuse to do dark magic when it means saving his loved ones. As he states:

To love is simply to know this: the tides are true as the ocean is deep... You don't control anything. But you already knew that, didn't you? Because it's the secret of the Ocean itself. The arcanum. The Ocean arcanum is about accepting depths you can't see, parts of yourself you can't understand, and things you can't control.

Callum fears not having control, and therefore fears his part of himself, where he is now more aware than ever of just how far he'll go for his loved ones, and how exploitable that is, thanks to Finnegrin. And it's not as though dark magic has lost its death associations, merely that those death associations have likewise been transformed. This is particularly evident if you line up 5x08 as the end of Callum's S5 arc (which it is; while 5x09 is fun, it doesn't further any of the main trio's emotional arcs except Rayla, and even that is decently minor)

If dark magic is still linked to death, then both Viren and Callum choose to step towards their own deaths in the end of their respective arcs, just with different meanings and arc placements. If we take Viren's step further that real death vs dark magic death are two different things, then we still have Callum stepping towards his own dark magic death to prevent someone else's (the same way Rayla is spared) even if that means throwing potentially 3+ innocent people and Domina Profundis under the bus in 5x08. But more on that here.

For now, let me break it down more simply:

In 4x09, Callum and Viren both pick up the symbol of something they've been trying to ignore / pass off to others all season. Viren has avoided his staff and left it for Claudia to wield, much the same way Callum passed Rayla off to Ezran and Soren in the previous episodes. Viren refuses to leave the staff behind. Meanwhile, Callum picks up and finally starts fully acknowledging the loss and love he feels regarding Rayla, who he let go on without him. The staff is symbolic of Viren's relationship to Aaravos as well, and it's what ultimately dooms him. Rayla's sword, although quickly discarded so he can help the actual Moonshadow elf, is also a symbol to Callum in the scene that he loves/is still mourning his friend/partner.

In 5x08 and 5x09, Callum and Viren are both goaded by a vengeful elf seeking freedom into doing dark magic to create a secure future for each mage. The elf wants to use them as further vessels for their own freedom/revenge scheme. Viren refuses to do dark magic and instead chooses death, reaching self-actualization. He does this mostly motivated by his own regret and love for Claudia. He refuses to sacrifice Sir Sparklepuff to save his own life and breaks away from Aaravos. Callum demonstrates a willingness to sacrifice others in order to save Rayla, in addition to resorting to dark magic in order to save her. He refuses to sacrifice her to save/keep his own soul free from Aaravos' clutches, even if that means possibly walking steadily closer to his own death. Likewise, this allows him to reach a new stage of self-actualization, but at a steep emotional cost.

Where Viren's ending is tragic but victorious, Callum's season ending is victorious but tragic. But like I said earlier, Viren's story in S5 offers plenty of hope to Callum's future storyline, namely exploring how

Love Can Destroy and Save You

Now, anyone who's been following me for a while knows I love a good "this thing can save and destroy you" and that I have been really fucking excited for S4 taking that undercurrent in arc 1 and bringing it up to the forefront, with a big hitch to Rayllum as a sweet lovely, devastating bonus.

“Wow. So they look identical but they might kill you or they might save you,” Callum said. “Exactly. Just like me…” Rayla smiled.

—Book One: Moon novelization + Callum and Rayla being routinely determined to save each other, even if that means immense danger and harm to themselves (Callum's love for her made him leap off the mountain to save her, and his love for her allowed him to grow wings and save both of them).

This has always been a theme in the show and particularly within their dynamic — "Alright, enough almost killing me" in 1x05 with the lightning spell, only for Callum to save Rayla's life with the exact same spell by the episode's end — most prominently brought to the forefront in 4x07 with their whole "I need you to kill me" "I'm afraid I'll hurt people I care about" [cuts right to Rayla] conversation. If you're interested in more Rayllum thoughts on this, I would recommend my original meta on the subject (pre-S4) and my post-S4 followup.

We even see this theme of the same thing — in this case, Callum's love for Rayla and commitment to saving her — play out as a perfect microcosm in 5x08. As previously mentioned, Callum does dark magic again (a failure in his own mind) and unlocks the ocean arcanum (a victory) precisely because of what he was willing to do out of love, both of these things being good and bad. The dark magic use is bad because it makes him more vulnerable to Aaravos and reaffirms how he'll bend morals he otherwise wouldn't and is upset over it, and it's a good action because it lets him save Rayla. Unlocking the Ocean arcanum is a good thing, because it symbolizes a deeper understanding of himself — good ol' self-actualization — and more useful, magical prowess, but it's also a bad thing because he's upset by this realization of himself to the point of not even really being excited by it.

He would do anything for her, he's realized now that love doesn't necessarily always make him stronger, that this is exploitable, and it scares him. It really does.

Because Rayla saves him and destroys him. And in S5, fortunately, Viren's children do the same for him.

Even though saving Soren is what seemed to truly begin Viren's descent in earnest...

the harm his path has inflicted on Claudia is one of his motivations to finally stepping off of it.

Ezran himself acknowledges the way love interplays with the Cycle in the thematic turning point of the arc, and the series in many ways, back in 4x03 — that love is not in opposition to the Cycle, but indeed one of its many cogs, and the choice lies in how we choose to let that love manifest:

I had a speech planned for today. It was about peace and love and hope. But I think I left something out. [...] We all want peace and we all want love. But violence tests us. In a twisted way, it converts us to its cause. Because pain and loss feel so terrible inside, you want to hate. You want to hurt someone else. So what do we do? How can we stop this cycle? [...] We have to acknowledge the weight of the pain and loss, but open up our eyes and allow ourselves to hope and maybe forgive and love again. We have to give today’s children a chance to inherit a future filled with peace. To give them that, we have to hold pain and love in our hearts at the same time.

If Callum does destroy himself / risk the world for love in S6 (perhaps taking a risk he knows may lead to being possessed, or releasing Aaravos to spare Ezran or Rayla from an immediate death) then love, it seems, is also posed to be what accordingly breaks him out of the possession and brings him back to himself, the same way it allowed Viren to deviate from his previously chosen/enforced path. Reconciling dualities rather than enforcing strict binaries is one of the main things S4 was concerned with, after all ("Just have two cakes!").

All of this, for Callum, ties back into:

His dynamic with Rayla and all its variances (the light to his dark / pain and love / literally freeing himself while metaphorically chaining himself in order to save her / his love for her being his strentth and weakness / "Now you're back. That's kind of good, and it's kind of bad").

His connection to the Key ("I have a feeling that cube thing could help me" to "It's the Key of Aaravos, Callum. No good will come of it!")

Light and dark being both good and bad, and Aaravos heavily representing that trade off ("In darkness, gaze upon a fallen star [...] already tainted by darkness" + the cube flashing a bright glowing white before Aaravos picks him up as a pawn).

The fall (becoming Aaravos' prey / playing into Aaravos' hands) in s6 and a rise in S7 (breaking free by defeating Aaravos)

If dark magic is death, and Aaravos is likewise death / worse than death ("if he takes control of me again, you have to kill me")... death, like for Viren in 3x09, can be Transformation for Callum in 6x09. He just has to 'die' (metaphorically) — to fall, to fail, to succumb to his predecessor's negative footsteps — in order to rise, fly, and follow in his predecessor's positive footsteps while also carving out another new path for himself.

Because Love is salvation just as much as it is destruction, and the story will always hold true to those things.

Other Parallels

Although there aren't as many prominent framing parallels in S5 as there were in S4 — the mirror, on the battlements with Soren, sitting on the Storm Spire, picking up the staff and sword, etc etc — (beyond the hand clasps as symbolic chains my beloved), the most obvious one is from 5x01 in which Callum goes to the library to research Aaravos just like the high mage before him, down to the portrait over the table they place the tome on.

Then there is also framing that furthers the connections they share between Callum-Viren and Claudia-Rayla, diving after someone you're desperate to save (and often from drowning, to boot). Hand outstretched one pictured above, so here's another:

There are also the Aaravos-Magma Titan Callum-Viren parallels that others have pointed out, with Ezran standing in for Sarai:

Given that 4x01 begins and 5x09 ends the arc of Viren's 30 days, and by and large binds S4 and S5 together as 1 arc of sorts (with S6 and S7 being the final arc), it tickles me particularly pink that it opens, in many ways, and then literally closes accordingly with Callum and Viren staring at the moon:

Misc:

In between writing the first meta and the second one, I got loose 'confirmation' that I'm on the right path with my deductions (even if, of course, 'personal path' can mean many things, but I still think it's cool!) from Aaron Ehasz on twitter. Cool beans

I also think it's fun that Viren tries to save Claudia from a 'symbolic' death in the ocean ("Stop! That wave, it will swallow you up!") and Callum saves Rayla from a more literal one of being devoured by a sea leviathan.

Conclusion

First off, if you read All of That, thank you and I hope you enjoyed it. I've been itching to talk about these two and how S5 both built on the parallels they already had, pushed some to the forefront in overt ways ("I would do anything" and 5x08 on Callum's end was beyond validating in every way), in addition to setting up more to come, both good and bad.

I may return to S5 in this manner to touch more on other parallel relationships in the future, such as Viren-Rayla in S5, Callum-Claudia, and Claudia-Rayla, but for now the next proposed foil meta is looking at a dynamic I have not talked much about in Callum and Karim. This will conclude this little 'trilogy' of metas, and I hope you stick around for it, cause it's going to be very interesting.

Callum and Viren have always been my favourite foils relationship in the show, and I hope this meta did a good job of demonstrating why. Thank you for reading and I'll see you in the next one!

—Dragons out

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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Was I the AH for making a joke no one told me they didn't like?

This happened back when I was 12.

I was pretty... not popular, but friends with a lot of semi-popular figures in a certain fandom. I know you aren't supposed to be on social media until you're 13 and all that, but it was a good while ago [2019ish] and I was a kid who never made friends IRL.

One of my friends [16, I think?] had a delusion [it was a diagnosed disorder they had and told me about, if I remembered I would tell you, MAYBE OSDD but I think it was something else] that they were one of the characters from the show the fandom was about.

I had other friend groups into the same show, and I would often make jokes "pretending" to be one of the characters [usually just posting a memed up version of a screencap and mimicking the speech pattern of the character], which would land well and make them laugh, so I saw no issue using this joke around the friend with delusions [who I'll call Lucas]. I only did it twice.

The first time I didn't notice anything different, but the second time they started treating me like this character [who I later learnt but didn't know at the time Lucas recalled having memories of being in a romantic relationship with]. Lucas was the only person I knew who had these types of delusions, so I didn't know what to do and just went along with it until they, uh... "snapped out of it", I guess?

Soon after, I was added to a group chat with a few other people. All of them were 16, except for who we'll call Dawn, who was 12 or 13, and who was the leader of their whole group. I'll call the other people Rosa [someone who I had gotten in a huge argument with before for a reason I don't remember but I think she started it and I overreacted, if this was about that it'd probably be YTA or ESH, but I apologized and we didn't really talk anymore], and Nate [someone who I hadn't ever talked to outside of a large group setting]. Lucas was also there in this group chat.

They were staging an... intervention? They were basically making me explain my actions and were telling me how I was a horrible person for "tricking Lucas into thinking I was this character". Lucas wasn't very responsive to the situation, and I was pretty sure Dawn was the one who orchestrated the whole thing and roped Lucas into it, maybe as a confidant or something like that. Rosa brought up how awful I was to her before, and how she never forgave me even though I thought she did. Nate also brought up how "aggressive and violent" I was, citing one of the only times I had talked to him [which I thought was just a funny way to greet someone, akin to like "*knocks a door off its hinges and it explodes everywhere, I take several minutes trying to put it back together but it clearly isn't done well* Hi guys"], using a screenshot he had taken MONTHS prior and had been saving for that moment, he told me.

I was supposed to go out shopping, so I couldn't keep on checking my phone without my parents getting suspicious of me. I was also hyperventilating and kept on having to take breaks to make sure I didn't freak out. I kept on trying to reply to things in chronological order, and they were getting more and more progressively upset. I told them the first part about my parents getting suspicious, and one of them even told me that "your parents should know what kind of sick fuck you are, maybe then you'll understand your actions." Eventually, we DID go shopping, and I couldn't reply for several hours.

When I got back, Dawn and Rosa had made several call out posts on their social media each, and I had several DMs from other people about it. I couldn't read the posts, and all I did was deactivate my account. I couldn't post art I had done online until about a year ago, couldn't even think about the show until a few months ago when my friend wanted to try it out, and I still can't go onto that social media platform because it makes me so nervous and I can't breathe, afraid that someone will recognize me even now and "expose me". Lucas wanted to keep in touch, but they were a bit clingy and only came to me when they were having mental breakdowns. I couldn't handle the constant reminders, so I eventually deleted their number.

Note: while I am very safe about my identity online, these people [at least Dawn, since she said how old she was before me and even showed pictures of herself in cosplay online before, she WAS very 12] did know what age I was [I had lied about it before then to other people].

I still feel really bad about this, and I was wondering if I really was being an asshole. Maybe I was just being biased because I was the one being persecuted? I don't know. Maybe I was the AH because I was suffering from the horrible illness sweeping the nation called being 12 years old?

I'm sorry if this is a little silly, but I'm 17 now and this is still a part of my past I'm ashamed of.

Could you tag this post "12 year old confrontation" so I can find it? Thank you. Sorry, again.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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loracarol · 8 months

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Caught up on My Adventures With Superman after being in a Good Omens induced haze for the last couple of weeks

Episode 9 had the "civilians banding together to save the hero" trope which gahhhh that's my fucking jam

Jimmy immediately tackle-hugging Clark because Lois may be the girl friend but he's the best friend? Chef's kiss

Isn't this Trent from Ted Lasso?

Also the comments on Jimmy's live stream are just so beautiful, so perfect. I tried to take screencaps, but my computer hated the formatting, so I'm transcribing them: I love Jimmy, Flamebird Fan 5ever lolol. I did genuinely believe I was reading livestream comments, and there are some fun Easter Eggs in there. :D

It even has the "Come to Brasil" meme

Lamebird79: can't trust him SteveNAHmbard: he has our backs bro blamefird_00x: superman is for the people LoriLemaris59: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ FlameTURD: i'm not scared of superman Xx_PhatGrant_xX: I'm scared of how hot he is ❤️❤️ FireFlock78: superman loves cats Username1: WHAT FlameTURD: FLAMEBIRD FACE REVEAL Lemaris04: hi Catgrantapult: he's cute DeliPlanet: ❤️❤️ Lamebird78:mid XxFlameherdxX: 10/10 0079blamebird: omg flamebird livestream walkeofshamebird0380: stream's on lads fireflocculus0080: fireflock unite flamebirdstan4354: our king blamefird_00x: we love you jimmy olsen SteveNAHmbard: wait doesn't this guy work for The Planet Flamebroseph94: he works for The People flamebrosephinecampbell: based olsen

[Lois gets on the stream]

Bibbonkulus: what who is this LoriLemaris59: she ain't flamebird PeteRoss61: flamebird gf reveal??? Bibbo87: is she friends with superman too? 123SUPERMAN321: why won't they hang out with me?? LanaLang5050: omg i love your hair SteveNAHmbard: told you he works at the planet Xx_PhatGrant_xX: i don't know this woman Username01: come to brasil Fireflock78: oh man 0079blamebird: what can we do flamebirdstan4354: oh no Lamebird78: based FlameTURD: kekw FlameTURD: based ivo Lemaris04: that's CRAZY Flamebroseph94: i can see it from my window Catgrantapult: metropolis is busted SteveNAHmbard: i gotta move Xx_PhatGrant_xX: what is that thing FlameTURD: deepfake LanaLang5050: looks like a job for superman Flamebroseph94: no dude it's RIGHT there SteveNAHmbard: moving to gotham

[cut to a different shot]

FireFlock78: he saved my cat XxFlameherdxX: superbased fireflocculus0080: saved my mom at the bank CadmusTruther11: not real blamefird_00x: bro my cousin was on that bus! 123SUPERMAN321: ❤️💛💙 flamebirdstan4354: i heard he's puerto rican Lamebird78: can't trust him SteveNAHmbard: he has our backs bro blamefird_00x: superman is for the people LoriLemaris59: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ FlameTURD: i'm not scared of superman

#ted lasso #superman #maws #my adventures with superman #Jimmy Olsen #zero day #maws zero day

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probablyhuntersmom · 1 year

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@ the people who wanted more Hunter Noceda material (including me!!): I'm trying to save us by making screencaps! Basically trying to construct a parallel to King's Dad pulling Luz out of the water and then giving her what she needed. Because after all, Camila - not just Flapjack - saved Hunter from a watery grave too.

The Hunter one is my WIP drawing. Am still deciding if I should erase the box with Manny's things or not, because the family would possibly be more at peace with organizing whatever's in that box. There'll be a Hunter and Camila photo frame that I'll add to the wall.

These may take weeks but hohoho I am determined to create them, so I've started by hunting for the right backgrounds and tidying them up to use. it's an uncomfortable itch for me that there was no continuation of Camila pulling Hunter out of the graveyard lake, because of what Disney did.

#toh hunter #hunter noceda #the owl house #loz's WIPs #toh spoilers #(because of the mention of King's Dad saving Luz)#loz's art

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bakuhatsufallinlove · 1 year

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Katsuki's Danger Sense

I've seen a lot of people talking about this line, so I wanted to mention, fun fact: the Japanese line in the anime is identical to chapter 293's script, and there's something pretty special about it.

Katsuki says, 「死地での危機感」 (shichi de no kikikan)

The subtitle in the anime screencap is more or less a literal translation. Shichi is nearly certain death, an incredibly dangerous place you might not come back from--its kanji is literally "death ground," as in the dirt you're gonna die on. Kikikan is a sense of danger or impending crisis.

Caleb Cook, the official translator for MHA English releases, chose to translate this line with the poetic English term, "on death's door," which I think is a great choice. This line is really visceral and vivid, and he did well capturing that.

But! There is a secret parallel I don't think Cook noticed.

Because the word Katsuki uses here, 危機感, is also part of the Japanese name for the Fourth's Quirk, Danger Sense!

Two chapters later, in chapter 295, Izuku realizes AFO mocking Katsuki's sacrifice triggered Danger Sense.

The Quirk is called 「危機感知」 (kikikanchi). The first two kanji, 危機 (kiki) mean danger or crisis; the second two, 感知 (kanchi), mean perception. These two words are nouns all by themselves, but 知 itself is also a word meaning knowledge or wisdom. To put it simply, this phrase can be interpreted as kiki kanchi or kikikan chi.

We see Katsuki think kikikan to himself while remembering his sacrifice for Izuku, and then two chapters later we see Izuku, also thinking to himself, say that the Quirk's name is kikikanchi.

To me, this parallel frames Danger Sense as literal knowledge that Izuku gains from Katsuki acting instantaneously to save him. And by extension, that kind of makes you think Katsuki's instinctive, just-in-the-nick-of-time rescue of Izuku was only possible because of some invisible bond between them.

Katsuki experiences kikikan and through that he saves Izuku; as a result, Izuku now experiences kikikan--the sense of impending danger.

There are theories out there that Izuku and Katsuki's bond is so strong that One For All--the Quirk that connects people's hearts--acts upon both their bodies, and that it may even be harnessed by both of them at once.

I'm just saying, the subtext is there.

#bkdk #bakudeku #dekubaku #katsudeku #勝デク #translations #meta #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers #mha season 6 spoilers #on death's door is such a rad translation #Katsuki's word choice is really poetic and stark #ngl I can see it being hard to maintain this parallel in English #while keeping the dialogue natural-sounding #but it's there!#my hero acedamia #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku

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fakehelper · 3 months

Text

gif pack maker question game! 💕

I've seen a few of these float around for gif/edit makers and some questions apply to us, but I figured I'd make one specifically for gif pack makers! Feel free to send me some or just reblog and get some questions asked yourself! If you think of any other good questions, leave them in the replies and I'll try to add them in the future!

What is your favorite gif pack to date?

Which FC have you made the most gifs of?

What is the largest pack you've ever made?

What is the smallest pack you've ever made?

Who is your favorite gif pack maker? If that's too hard, top 3!

Which gif pack do you think is underrated (should have gotten more attention)?

Which gif pack are you close to deleting?

Have you ever deleted a gif pack?

How did you get started making gif packs?

Post your favorite gif of one of your current projects (or one from each!)

What scenes are the worst to color?

Which scenes are your favorite to color?

What was the worst show you've had to color?

Which show had the best lighting/was the easiest for you to cover?

Would you ever remake a gif pack? If so, which one(s)?

Would you ever do a gif pack collab? (ie, you split a season or movie of the same fc and gif half)

Which gifs do you think are ESSENTIAL for a pack?

Which gifs do you think should never leave the cutting room floor?

Do you have any current projects you want to talk about?

What are you most looking forward to gifing this year? Any upcoming movies or shows?

Do you usually gif a whole pack at once, or split up packs across various days (or weeks, or months... or years...)

What is your favorite expression to gif? Smiles, laughs, incredulous looks, etc

What FC do you wish had more footage for you to gif?

Which gif pack do you regret making? Why?

Any pet peeves when it comes to gifing?

Frames to Layers or Screencaps? Or do you use a different import method?

Frames or Video timeline?

Watermarks or no watermarks? Any reason why?

What is your favorite or standard gif size for packs? Any particular reason why?

Do you save your psds? If so, do you save one per scene and edit it or do you save one for each gif?

Do you save your .gif files after posting them?

What is a gif pack you've seen recently that you think deserves praise?

Are you someone who likes to take suggestions or do you just gif what you feel inspired to make?

Black and white gifs. Worth it?

Free choice! Ask whatever you'd like!

#rpc #rpt #rph #gpntalk #gif pack #if this ends up clogging the gif pack tag tho lmk and I'll remove the tag!#please feel free to reblog WITHOUT sending me an ask #but if you reblog from someone else please do try to send one to them!

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