#did alters

[requiemsystem]

ADVICE FOR NEWLY DISCOVERED OR SUSPECTED SYSTEMS

if you suspect you may be a system or have recently discovered that youre a system, things can be confusing and hard. im making this post as someone who has been aware of being a system for about 5 years and has been diagnosed for 2. these are things i wish we knew and did. i hope it will be helpful to some of you and i wish you luck on discovering things about yourself and your system keep in mind everyone is different and systems are no exception, so what i list here might be incredibly beneficial for one person but do nothing for another. find what works for you. i will try to provide a variety of advice in order for you to see what fits you best DO YOUR RESEARCH research the disorder, try to find others experiences and things you think would help you. this is especially helpful if you are suspecting and not yet sure if you have it, researching symptoms and others experiences can be very helpful in determining START SYMPTOM LOGGING this can be as simple as "i blacked out today" or "i dont feel like myself right now", you dont have to be identifying switches or putting names to alters, theres no rush to be able to do that and some systems have no desire to do that symptom logging is useful because it can help you identify potential triggers and patterns in your symptoms. for example, if you can remember what happened before a period of amnesia and remember being exposed to a stressful event or something potentially triggering, this would be worth writing down to see if its a recurring pattern REACH OUT TO OTHER ALTERS this can be done in a variety of ways, but the easiest way would be to leave a note in a place itll be seen. for example, a sticky note on a mirror (if you live with other people and cant do this, try leaving a note on your phone in a frequently checked app) i would advise saying something along the lines of "hello, i am (name) and i would like to communicate with you. i suspect we have a disorder called (DID/OSDD) and we share the same body and mind. please write back to me in (location, can be a notebook or app etc) and tell me some about yourself if you feel comfortable" but you can say whatever works for you. i just think the main points to cover are having DID/OSDD and introducing yourself as well as asking for an introduction in return START WORKING ON COMMUNICATION this takes a lot of practice, so i always say its better to build up early rather than late. we have a whole post on it that can be found here REMINDERS AND THINGS TO REMEMBER if you do not remember your trauma, do not dig for it. it isnt safe to try to remember trauma without professionals help. if you happen to remember, thats one thing, but dont intentionally seek out triggers to try to remember denial is common and not a sign of faking, if you were faking you would know and would not be in denial. being wrong about having DID/OSDD (if you are suspecting but not sure) is not the same as faking no two systems are the same. you dont have to look exactly like some other system you know or online to be real its normal to not know everything right away. you wont know all your alters immediately, you may not be able to access (and you may not have) your innerworld, you probably wont remember all of your trauma without professionals help, etc. its all normal its totally ok to keep information about your system private. there is no need to share with anyone you do not feel completely safe and comfortable with switching at any frequency is normal, there is no "correct" amount to switch. any amount of alters is normal, there is no "correct" amount of alters. any level of amnesia is normal, there is no "correct" level of amnesia apps like simply plural and bots like pluralkit can be incredibly helpful for some systems, but there is absolutely no pressure to use them if you do not feel comfortable - grey

#did osdd #osdd did #did system #osdd system #osddid #actually dissociative #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #did alters #actually did #c did #complex did #did alter #osdd #actually osdd #osdd 1b #did #traumagenic system #dissociative system #osdd 1a #did discovery #osdd discovery

[autistic-zukoao3]

That DID vibe when you're filled with rage and anxiety and you feel like you're about to fucking snap and then suddenly your thoughts aren't coming through clearly and you feel like you can't move (even tho you CAN) and then.... Calm. Serenity. Indifference. Neutral. You no longer know what you were about to say, or why you felt so angry and anxious. Then you're like "Oh. I switched."

#did alters #actually did #did osdd #did system #did #osdd stuff #osdd alter #osdd #osdd system #we don't know what we have #only that we're a system with some amnesia

[sharkbrainfart]

Normalize referring to yourself as "we" "our", even if there's just one of you guys on the front.

#actually did #actually dissociative #did stuff #did system #actually plural #did #did alter #neurodivergent #did alters #actually osdd #actually traumagenic #plurality #plural stuff #plural #plural shit #plural system #pluralgang

[sys-polls]

thought we'd try something silly like this! let me know if you want a part 2.

- amaranth.

#amaranth🫁.txt #• [system polls] • #( #nicotine #addiction #endos dni #sys polls #system stuff #traumagenic system #tulpas dni #did system #system #sysblr #fun poll #alters #did alters #)

[pigeon-system-boys]

Host: thats it. We have like 20 alters, that's all, discovery is finished.

Subsystems in subsystems he doesn't even know about:

#did osdd #osdd system #actually did #actually osdd #hc did #did system #did memes #osdd #actually polyfrag #osdd memes #polyfrag did #polyfragmented system #polyfrag system #polyfragmented #programmed system #ramcoa system #did stuff #did alter #did alters #complex dissociative identity disorder #complex did

[phoenix-descent]

Dear [Alter]

Dear Caretakers, it's okay to worry that you're not doing enough. You are.

Dear Fictives/Factives, it's okay not to identify with your source. It's okay to identify with your source. Remember that you are your own person and that's all that matters.

Dear Gatekeepers, take a breath. I know that it's hard. It's going to be alright. We couldn’t do this without you.

Dear Littles, you're lovely. Keep it up buddy, remember that you're amazing.

Dear Persecutors, you are not evil. You are not a 'bad alter.' You are just as important as everyone else.

Dear Protectors, it's okay to take a break. You are going to make mistakes, and that's okay. You're doing your best and that's perfect.

Dear Self Destructive Alters/Trauma Holders, it's not your fault. It is not your fault. You don't deserve any hate, you don't deserve any of those awful things. You're deserving of the world and one day, some day, you will get it.

Dear Alter, you're going to make it.

#dissociative identity disorder #dissociative disorder #dissociative identity disorder psa #dissociative identity disorder system #dissociative system #did system #system #osdd #other specified dissociative disorder system #other specified dissociative disorder #osdd system #alters #did alters #osdd alters #did #you're perfect #you're deserving #it's going to be okay

[nikitasys]

Becoming aware that you're part of a system is like having lived in the same flat/house forever & then suddenly realising there are rooms in there you didn't even know EXISTED & also wait for it...

There are OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH YOU FOR YEARS.

(P.S : You were the only headmate unaware of the situation 🙃)

— Kita, host/caretaker

#did stuff #did osdd #alters #did awareness #actually did #did alters #system stuff #system memes #did memes #did system #dissociative identity disorder #system shenanigans #plural gang #did host

[thebeesystemandmemes]

Random quotes part: idk

Alter A: *dissociating heavily*

Alter B: *tries to give instructions*

Alter A: “We’re currently unavailable, a representative will be with you shortly”

Alter B: “You’re not funny”

Alter A: “Yes I am. This is tumblr quotes worthy”

#did #did system #did quotes #did alters #dissociative identity disorder #dissociation

[many-but-one]

Hey! Why did I split over something not even THAT traumatic??

I'm here to tell you. :)

So, this particular discussion has come up in our system server before and it's actually something I've wanted to talk about for a long time on Tumblr because I've never actually seen someone talk about this, and I am being hit with a sudden god-like hubris at 3 in the morning, so here we go!

So your question was "Why did I just split? What just happened wasn't even that traumatic. I've been through so much worse in the past, I don't even feel that stressed. What the hell? Am I just making this new part up?" and on and on. The idea that only the most awful and traumatic things are what cause splits in DID (especially later in life, after the childhood trauma window of 7-9ish has ended and especially in adulthood) is actually incredibly false, and I am about to explain why.

Note: This is about traumagenic DID systems, so endogenic systems, please stay off of this post thank you. :) /not mad

Note number two: I do want to get out of the way, that all parts DO split for a reason, there's no parts that exist for no reason (even if the reason doesn't seem relevant to you now, it may have been relevant at the time of the split, OR may have been somehow relevant to your brain even if it doesn't make sense to you now.) So I want to make it really clear that splits do not occur only because of hyperfixations. There typically has to be something going on for a split to occur, and hyperfixation alone will not cut it. Alright, now that I've got that out of the way, let's talk about how DID brains run on patterns.

DID brains run on patterns, like I said. All brains do, actually, but DID brains take it to an nth degree because these patterns that it learns are what help it stay alive in a distressing and traumatic environment during childhood. Our brains are remarkably plastic and they will do whatever is necessary to survive a given situation. It's why something like DID can even exist.

So what kind of patterns do we typically see in brains with DID? Well, the easiest one is that a lot of people with DID have pretty similar alter "types" or "roles." This is just a widespread pattern that you see across a large demographic of systems. It's why terms like "gatekeeper" and "protector" and "caretaker" exist. Because nearly all DID systems have parts that fill those roles, even if those roles aren't filled in the most "traditional" sense. DID is rarely random, every part exists for an express reason, and that reason is almost always symbolic in some way, even if it doesn't seem like it now. Once you start learning trauma memories and WHY parts exist, you very quickly start to see the symbolism and sometimes it is absolutely fucking terrifying, to say the least.

What other patterns are common?

Well, patterns we see in our own system and in other systems are something quite literally called "splitting patterns" which are more common in polyfragmented systems but not exclusive to them. This has various ways of showing itself, and the user @foreverfragmented made a post awhile back that I'm having a really hard time finding, HOWEVER I did screenshot the section about splitting patterns when I first read it, attached below:

Wow that photo ended up bigger than I thought it would be. lol. Anyway. Those are another example of splitting patterns. (Note: in the original post, FF talks about how some of the terms above were coined by them or other systems, so not recognized medically, however I think they were worded perfectly which is why I shared them here.)

Another few examples include alter templates (AKA, splitting the same alter over and over in varying iterations), the same parts going out for the same types of trauma every single time, and why certain alter roles very often have the same "flavor" of personality.

For example, gatekeepers are often considered a bit cold and distant, and can be very analytically minded and rarely react purely on emotion alone. (I feel like the most common gatekeeper Myers-Briggs has gotta be INTJ...that was a joke, lmao.) This is typically for a reason. You have to have a certain mindset and a certain way of handling things to be able to properly manage a system. And this is not to say all gatekeepers are this way, but the pattern of a LOT of gatekeepers being like this is not unnoticed. Our DID specialist could tell pretty early on that our primary gatekeeper (James) was a gatekeeper long before he ever told her he was simply because of how he held himself, how he spoke about others in the system, and how much he despised her for "stepping on his toes"😂 They work together much better now, FYI, but it was rough in the beginning.

An example of alter templates in our system in particular is what we call the "Michaels." They were some of our earliest alters, and our brain was like "hey this guy is working really well, so I'm just gonna keep doing it." And it worked! Then, when trauma shifted to something completely different but in the same vein (CSA) our brain once again attempted to use this "Michael" template. It didn't work quite the same. And so our brain had to figure out these new patterns, which it was fucking desperate to do because we were going through some heinous shit that it could hardly even comprehend. I've learned that basically every blue-eyed white-haired motherfucker in here was a Michael copy at one point, but had elaborated into some other version that suited its job more.

Now, for the example that is going to actually help me explain the answer to the question posed at the very beginning of this post: alters who go out for the same things over and over.

So, depending on splitting tolerance, or whatever you happen to be going through in your childhood, you will likely have various "groups" of alters that handle certain things. If you had a particularly tumultuous childhood with several varying types of traumas, you will probably have several of these groups. And depending on length of trauma time, severity of trauma time, and levels of support during trauma time, these groups may be very large.

For example, if you had a situation like domestic violence (DV) happening in your household, you will have a part or parts dedicated just for DV, and if you also had CSA going on, you will have a separate group of parts (or a single part) who handles only the CSA. Unless your system is quite small and you have alters take multiple types of abuses, this is pretty commonly the case. [Note: want to say this is not subsystems unless these groups are highly separated via either amnesia barriers or inner world (IW) barriers, and have better communication with each other versus the rest of the system. The definition of subsystem gets a little funky, but we're not talking about that. Just wanted to make that clear. You can have groups of alters without them being subsystems.]

"Okay, so yeah, you're right. I have alter groups for [insert various traumas] what does that have to do with me splitting over [insert mundane thing that isn't even really traumatic]?"

Continuing on the "DID brains run on patterns" line of thinking, if your brain has patterns set and understood for the various traumas that you lived through in your childhood, usually up until teen years or adulthood, your brain knows what to do when those traumas occur again. The patterns are set. It's why it's super common for people with DID who experience SA in teen or adult years and don't end up having a split. Unless they have an extremely low splitting tolerance or the situation is extremely unique, the brain will just recycle what it already has. No need to go through the literally massively painful and traumatic experience of splitting again for something it already knows how to handle. This being said, the part that experiences this might end up splitting at a much later date if this trauma is far too difficult for it to handle, this is also common because sometimes it's "easy" to handle the trauma in the moment because they're used to this flavor of trauma but the processing of said trauma afterward can be just as traumatic and can cause a split.

Same if your father was super abusive to your mother, or vise versa, and you happen to have an abusive partner. That pattern is known and comfortable. That's what professionals mean by "DID systems are more likely to be victims of abuse than perpetrators." They return to the comfortable patterns, which, with DID, equals abuse. Things outside of those patterns are dangerous and confusing to navigate and the brain will avoid that at all costs.

However, and this is the answer to the question. What happens when something happens that the brain doesn't recognize in its "pattern database"? I'll give an example.

Say you were very high achieving in school. This is pretty common of systems who were diagnosed in adulthood, so far as I've seen. You likely did really well, had really high marks because your parents expected it of you or were abusive and angry if you didn't constantly constantly succeed in their eyes. This can also reflect in sports, clubs, musical talents, etc. This pattern continues on in adulthood. You push yourself very hard to be high achieving. Whether this be in a college setting, a work setting, etc. You are likely often doing well in those fields pre-system discovery, at least. Post discovery often leads to the "spiraling" phase, which sucks but again that's not what we're discussing.

So, say you have a job. You're hella good at it. You are always receiving praise, you are always getting raises, your reviews are always hella good. You're like "okay yeah, I'm good at this job, so I'm going to apply to a higher paid position in the company that just opened up."

And then...you don't get the job. Well, that sucks. Better luck next time, right?

Wrong. Well, not entirely. That's completely true. But that's not how your brain is actually processing this, is it?

You might tell yourself "oh well" but in your high achieving brain's POV, it's like "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???? WE DON'T DO THE FAILURE STUFF!!! WHAT THE F***!!!" And it might panic, and several alters might panic, and the host might panic, and suddenly they're spiraling out of control over something that is mildly disappointing at best. Because WE DON'T HAVE A GUY FOR THIS?! We have a guy for SA, we have a guy for DV, we have a guy for medical trauma, we have a guy for bullying, etc. But we don't have a guy for REJECTION?! AHHH! [splits a part just to handle rejection.]

In adulthood, I've noticed both in myself and other systems I frequently speak to, these highly specialized parts are more commonly split in adulthood. Because while patterns are super helpful in childhood when you're experiencing the generally same shit over and over, in adulthood or even late teen years, there's so many effing unknowns that the brain is just like "what the actual fuck is this, this doesn't follow the fucking SCRIPT you guys. The PATTERNS?? Do they mean nothing to you??"

DID is a disorder that is incredibly helpful for survival in childhood and is an absolutely miserable crutch to live with in adulthood. And that's not me saying it super sucks all the time, but the disorder is not meant to happen, it shouldn't have happened, and coping with it without therapy and proper integration of parts and memories just makes adulthood kind of a hellscape, to be frank. There are tons of positives, I am so thankful, don't get me wrong. But there are a lot of downsides too.

So, to kind of drive home some examples of things that can cause a split that might not even be inherently traumatic based on my own experience and the experiences of some folks in our system server:

-(TW: mild NSFW in this one) We had our first consensual sexual experience when we were 19. We didn't have a guy for that. Everything we'd ever experienced throughout our childhood and teen years was not consensual. So when we were having consensual sex with our girlfriend, we were losing our mind because we didn't have this pattern integrated. So we split a guy whose literal only job was "consensual sex" and he was pretty much made to be the "perfect partner" for our girlfriend.

-We have a part whose only job is to play video games. We didn't know why until we realized he was fronting during stressful family gatherings and was playing videogames to pass the time until they were allowed to leave.

-We have a part that split only to handle our irrational fear of getting sick with a deadly illness right around COVID lockdown time.

-We had a part split just to internalize the feeling of "going to hell" due to our religious beliefs at the time.

-We have a lot of parts that split just to hold feelings of anger, sadness, or fear, even in adulthood. This is common in situations where anger or showing emotions was not allowed in childhood, so if the brain decides that's not allowed, when a part gets overly angry they might split a part to hold that anger, which then typically gets buried deep down.

Note about the above example: Trauma therapists often say that anger is one of the last emotions processed when processing traumatic events. Which is why "anger holding alters" are so so so fucking common. Kids and teens and adults get angry and if that's not allowed in some way shape or form, the brain will suppress it. It's also why it's common for people with DID to be able to "turn off" emotions or if triggered, will have a sudden intense burst of emotions (typically anger or frustration) because of how intensely repressed emotions often have to be just to survive living in a toxic environment that would cause something like DID. When you were a kid, you couldn't cry in front of your parents because you would be ridiculed or punished. So you will "turn it off" and go hide to cry later. But if, as an adult, you never let yourself "go cry later," that shit will build up and cause those intense emotional breakdowns, even after something that's considerably smaller scale than what you're used to. Kind of considered the "straw that broke the camel's back." You can be having a shit week with horrible thing after horrible thing and you're doing really well at "shutting it off" especially when around others, because god forbid you let the mask fall, and then suddenly you can't open a cheese stick or you can't find your keys so you might be late, or there's a stain on your shirt right before work, or the entire contents of your bag get dumped onto the floor of your car because you had to brake too hard...and that's when the breakdown happens.

Anyway, to get back on track, there are probably a plethora of other ways a system could split that seem mundane or "not that traumatizing" or alter roles might be super hyper-specific and the reasoning for that is because ✨patterns✨ We love to see it. /sar

Hope this was helpful! If you have further questions, feel free to hit up the ask box or the replies. :)

-Dori🌹

(Again, endos please don't interact, this is not for you. This is for the folks whose DID was caused via childhood trauma. These patterns likely would not exist in someone whose system didn't form from repeated traumas.)

#dorian🌹 #advice #did #dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #did osdd #actually did #traumatized #actually traumatized #traumagenic did #endos dni #did alters #did therapy #did system #our brains are like supercomputers and I'm not even kidding #once it understands a pattern #it will quickly assimilate that pattern if the pattern continues to occur #DID brains are freaking incredible #also terrifying

[the-star-system-pals]

Being a system means sometimes hearing someone shout "Give me TEETH!" in an aggressive voice and you just have to sit there wondering what the FUCK IS GOING ON

#did blog #did system #system #autistic system #did osdd #did #did stuff #osdd stuff #osdd alter #osdd system #osddid #osdd #did alters #did alter #did things

[requiemsystem]

SYSTEM RESPONSIBILITY AND WHY ITS IMPORTANT

system responsibility is essentially taking responsibility for the actions of all of your alters, even if you werent the alter who did the action. this is important because all alters are part of one collective whole and are not literally separate people, even if they feel like such. they are all dissociated parts of one brain and need to take accountability for all actions done by all parts of that brain for example, if one of your alters upsets someone, you still need to apologize to the person even if it wasnt you as an alter who upset them. being a system is never an excuse to not take accountability for bad behavior, even if it was technically another alter or if you dont remember it. excusing bad behavior with "oh i have DID/OSDD and it wasnt me" just makes other systems look bad, and thats the last thing we need with all the stigma we already face i genuinely dont understand why some people are so against system accountability, it isnt hard to take accountability for actions taken by your own brain in your own body. if your alters are genuinely hurting people you need to evaluate why that is happening and take steps to fix it, not just excuse it because "it was another alter" - grey and roman

#did osdd #did system #osdd did #osdd system #osddid #actually dissociative #dissociative identity disorder #actually did #did #c did #complex did #did alter #osdd #did alters #did community #osdd alters #osdd 1b #osdd alter #osdd community #traumagenic system #osdd 1a #complex dissociative disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #actually cdd #cdd system #cdd community #dissociative system #actually traumagenic #c did system #polyfrag

[thecouncilofidiots]

Apparently the others thought it'd be fun to make a system-centric discord server. It is horror themed, and was created with nonhuman/supernatural/"scary" alters in mind. Join if you want, don't join if you're just going to be a dick about it. -Domino

#did #did system #alters #plural system #plurality #dissociative identity disorder #did alters #did alter #actually did #did osdd #did community #osdd #osddid #plural community #actually plural #pluralgang #system #system stuff #sysblr #endo safe #non traumagenic safe #plural stuff #headmates #plural #pluralkit #simply plural #system discord #plural discord #nonhuman #nonhuman alters

[did-doesnt-die]

i don't call myself anti-endo but endogenics are just...not real, right? like, did+osdd+udd are real diagnoses. when you search up endogenic it just says people who just didn't have it until when it's past the age to develop it/people who create the idea of a system in their heads. doesn't that just flat out mean they're not. real???

#anti endo #did system #did #actually did #did alters #- N #thanks for listening to my ted talk

[sys-polls]

here is the part 2, since part 1 went over well. we could do a part 3? EDIT: woman* not women. - finn!

#finn🍄.txt #• [system polls] • #( #cannibalism #cannibal #violence #endos dni #sys polls #system stuff #traumagenic system #tulpas dni #did system #system #sysblr #fun poll #alters #did alters #)

[pigeon-system-boys]

Can you please speak louder, I can still hear the voices

#did osdd #osdd system #actually did #actually osdd #hc did #did system #did memes #osdd #actually polyfrag #osdd memes #polyfrag did #polyfragmented system #osdd alter #did alters #did stuff #dissociative identity disorder #did things #programmed did #dissociative system #system alters #system stuff #system humor #system memes

[phoenix-descent]

It’s all “we support systems!” And “we trust systems!” Until a persecutor does something that the system as a whole has apologized for and made amends for or a protector sets a hard boundary that someone doesn’t like.

It’s always “we love systems!” Until a system steps out of someone’s idea of how systems should act.

#did #did system #dissociative identity disorder #dissociative identity disorder system #alters #did alters #did community #osdd #osdd system #other specified dissociative disorder #did psa #dissociative disorder #dissociative identity disorder psa #osdd alters #osdd community #other specified dissociative disorder system #I mean #am I wrong