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eternally-hypothermic · 9 months

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For @badthingshappenbingo : Falling through the Ice.

Running over a freezing lake, Fedyor falls through the Ice. Ivan picks up the pieces. Chapter 1/2 On Ao3 here!

Fedyor is very aware of the lake under his feet. He knows it’s there, he figures he basically knows at which point of it he is, and he knows that in theory, he’d need to get closer to the edge again, but running usually doesn’t leave a lot of options. In addition to that, he is acutely aware of several other things - one of which is the fact that he is a distraction. And that he is lighter than the heavy-booted men following him, which means he just has to be clever about where he steps to get them to break through, and run like the Fold is chasing him once they do.

And that’s the thing - he is running one moment and then he is submerged the next, it happens so fast his stomach doesn’t flip, he doesn’t gasp, he is running and then he is gone.

Darkness envelops him.

Has the General arrived? No, no, it’s water, he fell, he needs to- needs to fight, yes! Needs to get out, above the water he is sinking into! Think, Fedyor, think! He needs to shrug his kefta off, it’s pulling him down, he needs to get to the surface, he needs to move, he needs oxygen - he can’t breathe in water! He kicks his legs, already heavy and slowly losing all sensation, he needs to… his kefta, and he presses his psalm flat to the ice above him, trying to hold on, find purchase, anything.

He flails, tries to fight his way to the top but there is no up, no down, only darkness. Little bubbles escape his mouth like stars, and he can’t stop thinking but he also can’t focus on what is important - he hits his head on the ice above him, once, twice, and he should use his hands but he can’t use his hands, they hurt.

Everything hurts.

The pain is heavy. He can’t place it because it’s everywhere, but he also can’t name it. Not stabbing, not piercing, not numbing, it’s deep, it’s everywhere, it’s so heavy. Is his whole body ice now? He can’t move so it might as well be. He can’t move his hands, or, maybe he can but it’s all too heavy. Why would he lose his kefta? He’d just be colder without it. Better to keep it on. Better to… To… His thoughts are too heavy.

Everything is.

Why is it heavy?

He is cold.

His chest hurts, it’s different, and he breathes in water. For a split second, so short he can barely remember, the water offers relief.

Maybe he is not a heartrender after all. One with the water. There is really no use to fight it - no use and no sense. A distant part of him tries to fight its way to the top of his sluggy brain, but his kefta is heavy and dragging him down, just a red splotch in a field of darkness.

All is dark.

Are his eyes open? Does it matter?

He sinks.

Deeper.

Deeper into Darkness. Cold.

Why do they say dying hurts? Did it? He doesn’t remember.

Doesn’t feel anything.

Not so bad after all then.

The world is a piercing brightness when he wakes, and before he can think of the saints or powers or darkness, he is choking, water forces its way up his throat, out, all out, and that’s just what happens. It’s all that happens. There is more, but he tries to hide back in the darkness, this heavy feeling so deep down, without pain, without anything like this, but it doesn’t come. The pain is there, the darkness isn’t, and he keeps coughing and spitting, throat already raw and hurting, head pounding, his body is useless and it just does not stop.

Distinctly he hears someone talking, but when the water stops and he presses his eyes closed and tries too hard to go back, to hide away, a burning hot hand thaws the ice on his face.

“Fedya?” No. No one is home, leave me be, let me go back, it hurts, all of his body hurts, it’s paralyzing pain in every inch, burning in his chest and throat and mouth and- “Won’t you look at me?” Ivan is running a hand over his wet hair and he hisses in pain, which also makes him open his eyes.

The sky is white and he has to look away when more water and bile forces itself up his throat. It starts again.

But this time, he disappears into the darkness and embraces it like a lover.

#bad things happen bingo #shadow and bone #whump #hypothermia #fivan #heartrender husbands #ivan kaminsky #fedyor kaminsky #fedyor x ivan

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liaduval · 3 years

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when your partner gets hit, first look deep into their eyes and then do not stop touching them even when giving orders

#me watching this scene: huh #although #now that i did the gifs i am unsure #did fedyor get hit in the leg or was it just ivan needing to keep contact #oh well i will take the smooshy option #heartrender husbands #fedyor kaminsky #fivan #ivan x fedyor #shadow and bone #s&bedit #still trying to get the colouring right #i am out of practice #my gifs #my gifs: shadow and bone

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cheekygreenty · 3 years

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Familiar - The Darkling x Reader

He was living his worst nightmare. You were in danger because of him. He swore to protect you, to get himself caught in the crossfire if it meant saving you but right now he was useless and you were suffering. He didn't know where you were or who took you from the Palace, the place he said was like a fortress, the safest place in Ravka. You were swiped from right under his nose, most likely roughly and mercilessly and it was all because you loved him.

He never wanted anyone to know of your relationship, you were his most protected and valued secret and he would put his life on the line to keep it that way. But now you were gone and he couldn't bare to look at himself. The promise he made to you was broken and he let you down.

For our love is a ghost that the others can't see

You agreed with it too, knowing that you would immediately become a target if Aleksander introduced you as his. But here you were now, sitting in the back of a moving coach, gagged and handcuffed with a blood and tear stained face.

The ride was more bumpy and painful than it was at the start, having now been on it for at least 4 hours, you knew you were far from home and heading to Fjerda.

The realization hit you as soon as you felt a pair of strong hands at your wrists, holding them apart in the safety of your chambers to prevent you from summoning. The festivities were loud and blocked out your shouts of self-defense and cries for help. That's where Aleksander's protection had run out, right there in your shared rooms.

You cursed yourself as more tears slipped out your eyes, you were a fool who didn't listen to their own advice. Ravka didn't know about you, the Darkling seemingly had no weaknesses until your irrationally tipsy behavior. Tonight's stupid actions would cost you your life.

---------------------

'Enjoying the celebrations?' You held your fourth champagne glass of the night tightly in your hand as you walked up to Aleksander and Ivan. They were all business and no party as the Little Palace roared to life following a day of successful business negotiations. Grisha of all orders let loose and had fun, forgetting the troubles of war as foreign delegations joined in, all in unity for a single night of fun.

The Zemeni were dancing with the Kerch, the Shu were peacefully discussing with the Kaelish, it was a utopia. Your own mind was for once calm, be it the champagne or the vibes you didn't know and didn't care.

'You did a very good job Y/N, I'm impressed.' Ivan gestured to the party and pride filled you. It was stressful and nerve-racking to plan a banquet of this magnitude, but seeing it all accomplished and with no fights made you unbelievably happy.

'Thank you Ivan. Go enjoy yourself, I'm sure Fedyor is looking for you.'

He walked away just as you'd hoped, leaving you and Aleksander alone. You moved a step closer, taking his hand in yours.

'It is magnificent darling, you look magnificent too.' His head dipped as it usually did when he was about to kiss you, but he stopped himself and instead looked around the room, inspecting it to make sure no one was watching him.

'Relax, we're in a large crowd, I highly doubt anyone is paying us any mind.' With the foreign ambassadors here, Aleksander's black attire was balanced out with black tuxedos and suits. He wasn't sticking out anymore, he blended in. You wanted to be with him, and perhaps you could be right now.

'If you say so' Although your words did something to reassure him, his sweet lips were brief on yours. It was a short kiss, but he somehow conveyed his love for you in that quick second before he was back to his usual General persona.

'Alright General Kirigan, I'll go annoy Genya.' You joked and in the process knocked the glass over onto your fine silk kefta. 'Shit'

You didn't miss the look of amusement on his face as you tried to dry the stain with your sleeve. 'Or I'll go and change' you laughed, leaning into his laughing body.

You were certain the moment was intimate and private, that nobody was watching, but a pair of eyes closely watched the scene from afar, mouth open ajar as he found the Darkling's only weakness; You.

--------------

'Moi Soverenyi what is the meaning of all this?' Ivan didn't expect to be dragged out of bed at this hour and see the General's inner circle crowded around his war table in their nightclothes. He thought the banquet went well: nobody fought or got injured or even argued, it was the perfect night so to speak. But the powerful Grisha still dressed in his silk black kefta was restless and panicked.

His hair was disheveled and he looked ready to kill as he stood with his back to everyone, facing the big map of Ravka. The room was silent save for a few yawns and sighs. Nobody knew anything about why they were there but the tension surrounding their commander was hostile and frightening.

'Y/N Y/L/N is missing from Palace grounds. I think she may have been taken.' Ivan stilled, he was the only person in the room who knew of the relationship between his General and you and had grown to like your refreshing presence. He cared for you in a brotherly way and your disappearance ignited a fury in him.

'I need you searching the streets, interrogating the delegates, anything we can to bring her back.' His face was still turned away from them, and Ivan knew he wouldn't turn around.

Aleksander was beside himself with worry and guilt, he was on the verge of tears. You were gone and it was his fault. His mind was swirling with the accusations and the self-hate, but also with memories of you. Your life echoed around the walls of his head, bouncing off of his heart with a shatter.

He wasn't going to wake up tomorrow next to you curled up in his arms. He wasn't going to hear you rant over breakfast. You were gone and it was his fault.

He was trying so hard to devise a plan to find you, to command his Grisha and be a General, but in that moment he was just Aleksander, Y/N's Aleksander. Worry took up his mind and all the commanding bones in his body yearned to have you next to him.

He turned his head briefly to Ivan, who had the same expression on his face that Genya wore when he woke her up searching for Y/N. She was already out in the streets of Os Alta with David, trying their luck with tracking your jewelry.

'We leave in 10 minutes. Every single Grisha in the Second Army will be used if need be.' If you listened closely, you could hear the edge to his voice, a slight pang of heartbreak and anguish. He was trying to hide it, but alas he was only a man.

The Grisha started muttering amongst themselves and Ivan caught a few words of their conversations and couldn't help but let the rage rise in him 'She's not even that good of a soldier.....' 'Who is that?' 'I want to go back to bed....'

'A foreign dignitary had the audacity to kidnap a Grisha after we let them into our home and you speak of going to bed?'

'Ivan.' Fedyor warned him.

'Moi Soverenyi, with all due respect, Y/L/N was simply a teacher to the younger Grisha, not a high-ranking soldier with valuable intel. Should we really assume a kidnapping happened? For all we know it was desertion. Y/N found a good moment to slip out and escaped.'

Every shade of us you fade down to keep

Them in the dark on who we are

The second those words were spoken by Polina, Aleksander's black shadows let loose. They crept up her legs and around her throat, tightening and tightening until air could no longer enter the inferni's lungs. She was petrified, she was simply stating another perspective on the situation but her General's and Ivan's responses told her her opinion was not wanted at all.

Aleksander stopped himself before he killed her. It was his fault, all of it. His Grisha didn't take this seriously because they didn't know who Y/N truly was to him, perhaps a secret ready to be shared, spoke a voice deep in the back of his head, not your voice though. He wouldn't tell anyone anything until he had your approval. If he ever got it.

'Believe me, Y/N was no deserter.'

'10 minutes!' Barked Ivan at the Grisha when none of them moved from their tired trance.

-----

You didn't know Fjerdan fluently but you knew enough to make out the most important words 'We crossed the border', 'Witch', 'let her burn'. It was enough to drown your hope of escaping and coming home to Aleksander and your Grisha.

You never got involved in any war or fighting, simply choosing to teach the young students the basics of summoning. It made you content and happy, whereas war made you anxious and nervous. Your body had only ever known the luxuries of the Little Palace, the feel of a pen or book in your hands. To add to it, your powers were never used in a defensive way only summoned when you taught, so this was a drastic turn of events to say the least.

Being dragged and beaten by the Fjerdans, insulted in a foreign language, and cuffed so the one comfort you had available to you was useless, brought you to your knees despite the initial training you received when you joined the Second-Army. I am no soldier, I am a teacher.

The border had been crossed and you were officially a Fjerdan captive, ready to sit a trail where you would be found guilty and hanged for your gifts. The chances of Aleksander finding you were slim to none as you tried to remember if any clues were left behind at the scene of your kidnapping. The Fjerdans were quick and concise, neat and skilled, leaving no traces of their presence in your chambers.

The back of the carriage yanked open and let in the evening sun, blinding you in the process. You stopped counting the time after the 8th hour passed and your space was still pitch black. The shadows once were a comfort, now they were simply a tool to frighten you even more.

'Let's go, Witch.' A tall man spoke as he grabbed you by the arm, dragging you as if you didn't weigh anything. You complied, not seeing a reason to tire yourself by fighting back. It was pointless and futile.

You were in the middle of nowhere, a field of open green space with patches of snow. Fjerda. You'd never been anywhere near the border even, but the cold wind was whiplash-inducing just as Aleksander once described it.

'I thought I am to face trial.' You had barely spoken a word in fear in the carriage but the suspicion had rousted you to mutter the words.

'You? I'd rather kill you right here' joked the man and his companions laughed along as if what you said was the beginnings of a hilarious joke. 'You are the Demon's vulnerability, we hurt him for revenge' He pushed you to your knees roughly.

This love is gonna be the death of me

It's a danger

'So I am to die in a field?'

'Not before you tell us everything about the Darkling' then a kick to your stomach shut down your senses.

-------

'We are crossing into Fjerda Moi Soverenyi' Ivan shouted over the galloping horses. Not even 2 minutes after the meeting, Fedyor noticed 3 Fjerdan delegates missing from their rooms in the Little Palace and raced to tell his General who was now fiercely riding his black stallion with a fury no one dared to comment on. He had Squallers feeling the air for you, Durasts tracking your jewelry, and Heartrenderers listening to heartbeats as they all made their way up to Fjerda, the enemy country.

As time passed, the fear rose and turned into a strange combination of denial and grief. Aleksander tried to desperately shoo it away, to rid the thought as it came. You were alive. You had to be.

He felt his crew getting restless and tired but he didn't dare slow his pace. His stallion seemed to understand the urgency of the situation and for lack of a better word, legged it as his master requested.

'General, we think we can feel something.' The Durast and Squaller riding right behind him suddenly burst out. 'About 5 miles northeast, I can direct us from there.' The man in the purple kefta bellowed and Aleksander's heart picked up the pace to a deadly rhythm. He was immortal, but he was sure this was going to be the death of him.

---------

It took every ounce of courage and pride to not give in but you hurt all over. Your ribs were cracked, lungs quickly collapsing, your arms and legs unmoving. The only aspect of you that looked normal was your face

'I'll leave it, let him see you dead in a coffin with only your pretty face as a reminder of how disgusting he is, how disgusting all of you are.'

You had told them nothing, not a word, not even a cry of pain to satisfy them. If these were truly your last moments, you wouldn't go down as a traitor. Your eyes closed on their own accord a while ago, your ears stopped listening when you heard the first bone crack in your leg.

You didn't see Aleksander's shadows flood the field, cutting down everything in his path. You didn’t hear the Fjerdans scream out in pain and fear. There was blood everywhere, not just yours as he ran to you.

'HEALERS NOW' you didn't see him, you didn't hear him, but he saw you beaten and dying right in front of him. His hands traced the side of your face lovingly as a small tear escaped his eye. You felt it, his touch on yours and your lip pulled up in the faintest smile you could manage. He was here.

Ivan was next to you in an instant, attempting to quicken your heartbeat, fill your weak lungs with air and keep you alive but his shaking hands were rigid and stiff with fear at the possibility of losing his friend. The other Grisha watched with perplexed faces as they quickly approached, the Healers running for dear life to get to you in time. You were only a teacher in their eyes, not the General's love or the Heartrenderers comrade.

'Y/N you'll be okay, I promise.' Aleksander left a kiss against your forehead, keeping his lips there for as long as he could before the red keftas swarmed around you and fought to save your dwindling life.

And the dark was opening wide, do or die

You registered his touch, his kiss, before the itching took over and the pain slowly lifted. The darkness was back as a comfort and death seemed far away.

The Darkling only had one weakness, one vulnerability, and only one reoccurring nightmare; the death of Y/N Y/L/N and he made sure to let the world know if you ever came to harm, he would kill anyone and anything in his path.

------

Here’s my masterlist 🥰

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@aleksanderwh0r3 @theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld @0-artemis @exo-1204 @staradorned @bookfrog242 @simp-for-ben-barners @keepdaydreamingbb @acciorudolphx @pansysgirlfriend @pansysgirlfriend @justmesadgirl

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cheekygreenty · 3 years

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Leave Me Lonely p.1 - The Darkling x Reader

Based on Ariana Grande’s song Leave me Lonely ft.Macy Grey. Was supposed to be just one part but I got carried away as per usual 🤓

'Get the General!' Zoya's eyes were borderline frantic but her composure remained the same, the once pristine blue kefta was dirty and ragged and her long luscious hair was disheveled, a piece of it in the way of a small cut on her temple.

'Zoya are you alright?' You were exiting the General's tent when you saw her approach, your body filled with an alarming feeling as you raced to meet her and some other Grisha, The skiff, she was manning a skiff across the Fold not even an hour ago, why is she back?

She ignored your question and continued with her dutifulness, 'The General, this is urgent'

You nodded and ran back, mind whirling with the possibilities of the skiffs return. Zoya was a great Squaller who'd successfully manned many journeys across the Fold so why was she back here, all scratched and bruised.

He was conversing with First Army Lieutenants and Captains when a rough grasp around his arm interrupted the flowing conversation. He squared his shoulders but when he saw your panicked face, he relaxed but only the smallest amount. Not even 10 minutes beforehand you two were involved in a heavy argument and at the feel of his tense muscles beneath his kefta, you guessed he thought you were back for more.

You had a right to come back and throw insults at his face, hell, he was the one who brought out that side of you. A vicious, ruthless, and malevolent side you never knew you had, but you ignored that urge.

-Dangerous Love, you're no good for me darling-

'We have a situation.' You cocked your head in Zoya's direction and waited until his company excused themselves and stood to the side before you let Zoya speak.

'I think we may have a sun-summoner.' She said without any negligible hesitancy. The tent suddenly froze in time. The Grisha held their breath and the otkazat'sya paled as your eyes grew wide. A Sun-Summoner.

'We were 2 markers in and were attacked by volcra, a searing light came out of nowhere, or rather came out of a girl, a first-army soldier.' You could see the lieutenant perk up at the sound of one of his being mentioned but Aleksander's expression hadn't changed since Zoya started talking.

'Bring her to me.'

'A Healer is bringing her now.' As she concluded her statements, she silently moved off to the crowd of other Grisha who'd come back from the skiff journey looking equally as shaken as she did.

You leaned back on the desk for support as you settled the information she'd just given you. This was Zoya, a very, very credible witness who'd just said a Sun-Summoner had been found. A legend come true, a myth that no longer needed debunking.

You looked at him again, this time noticing a flicker of hope in his eyes. He stared right back into your own wide eyes and gave a gentle nod followed by a small squeeze of reassurance to your hand which still held a tight hold on his arm. He kept his back to the entrance but you had a full view of her once the tent flap opened.

She was brought in by two guards in a scuffed First-Army uniform, Whether it was from the volcra or just daily use, you didn't know. She looked slightly sickly but mostly scared, like a wounded animal being hunted by its prey.

'Bring her closer.' You had let go of his arm now, that feeling of surety left you cold as his touch disappeared from yours. The guards brought her forth a bit more, letting her go and stepping back as their General finally turned around.

'Closer.' She took a tiny step forward. The poor girl is petrified.

'Well?'

'Well, what. Sir?' She was on the defense, I don't blame her. He was intimidating even when he wasn't using his powers.

'What are you?'

'Alina Starkov, Assistant Cartographer, Royal Corps of Surveyors.' Her fearful expression suddenly changed into a more devastated one. 'They’re all gone. It’s my fault. That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?'

'Answer the question.' He leaned back against the desk just as you did.

'A mapmaker, sir' It was clear to you that Ms.Starkov had no idea why she was here. She was scared, alone, and being interrogated by the most feared man in all of Ravka. The tent erupted in a peal of laughter but you had no time for such snobbiness.

'Quiet' You ordered and a silence fell over the space once again. There was a time when you wouldn't dare command a tent full of Grisha, but Aleksander had changed you; changed the way all his Grisha looked at you.

'So who actually saw what happened? Zoya? You manned the mainsail.'

Zoya repeated what she told you, and Aleksander asked the girl whether she'd been tested but your ears stopped listening once she'd stated she grew up in Keramzin. You too grew up in Keramzin before you were shipped off to the Little Palace to train and become a skilled Heartrenderer. You knew they tested all the children, so how the hell did she slip through the cracks?

You came back from your thoughts just as Aleksander approached her and subsequently amplified her powers. A beam of light so bright and strong you felt some heat from it pounced from her skin and up through the ceiling.

Everyone looked away from the harsh ray but you couldn't turn away. It was beautiful and magical, the physical embodiment of hope, but short-lived as Aleksander let her go and she fell back with a look of awe. He moved quickly, whispering into Ivan's ear and then moving back to you.

'Accompany them to the Little Palace. Ride on a horse and be on the lookout, and give her your kefta.' You nodded curtly, knowing he only trusted his inner circle with the transport of the Sun-Summoner to Os Alta, and that included you. Alina was dragged out from the tent still in a daze of her own.

Your earlier argument with him vanished from your memory as he leaned down to briefly kiss you on the top of your head, 'Be safe.' And with that, you left to find your horse.

***

The backroads were peaceful and quiet as your horse galloped along the dirt road. You wanted so badly to sit in the carriage and speak to Alina, a fellow child of Keramzin, but you listened to Aleksander's command and served as a lookout for any oncoming dangers. So far it had been all clear, but as you approached a hill, a tree blocking the road caught your attention. You slid off your horse and signaled the coachmen to stop too.

'The road is blocked! Beware!' One of them shouted and then all hell broke loose. Shots came from everywhere and anywhere while your horse, in a frightful spell, escaped the way you came.

You had no clear line of vision as dust and dirt clouds plummed above ground and a bullet scratched your left shoulder, then your leg. Your eyes stung and lungs burned as you tried to get yourself out of direct lines of bullets and bombs, eventually finding a place behind thick trees.

Ivan and Fedyor joined you almost immediately both panting and the latter holding his hand to his chest.

'You're bleeding Y/N, where is your kefta?' Fedyor panicked and lay his other hand on your leg where the blood glistened like a jewel.

'How many are there?' Ivan risked asking, trying to get your mind off of the bleeding wounds. Your hands were up in the air as you listened for heartbeats and your heart dropped to your stomach. Too many.

'At least 15 more.' You looked around the Grisha desperately devising a plan in your head that would bring you all out alive.

'Get to the carriage, protect the girl' You signaled to the three Heartrenderers and Squaller.

'But you're hurt and you cannot fight the-' Ivan was cut off by the darkening of the forest, a classic tell that Aleksander was here. Relief flooded you all. The shadows loomed over you, directing their course to near the carriage and then up ahead to where Alina was.

You waited for him to erupt from behind the trees and help you, but the minutes ticked by and you were still hiding from the skilled Fjerdan fighters without backup. Fedyor looked to you, disappointment and pity clear on his face.

Only momentarily did the fighting cease as bullets carried on their assault. You assumed they would flee from the fear of being in the Darkling's presence, but they hit back twice as hard. In return, you all fought back equally as strong, knocking out bodies left right and center despite your dwindling body.

All throughout the fight, you had one thing on your mind and that was why Aleksander chose to ignore you. Was he still mad from your argument? No that couldn't possibly be why he would leave you to potentially die at the hands of druskelle.

Yes you were a soldier, but no doubt he knew the extents of the Fjerdan army and their skilled fighters. If outnumbered, a Grisha was basically of no use.

-If you're gonna love me and leave me hanging here....-

You understood she was the Sun-Summoner but you were you. You were the person he shared his bed with every night, the person who could calm his stormy mind, and the person who stayed with him through it all even though you hurt more than he loved. It stung like a throbbing wound and snagged at your already dwindling will to keep the relationship alive.

-then I'd rather you leave me lonely-

—————-

Part 2

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