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anarcoqueer1994 · 28 days
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Never Have I Ever (Steddie Ficlet)
The older teens—Jonathan, Argyle, Nancy, Robin, Steve, and Eddie,-- had been hanging out drinking at Steve’s house. No one can remember whose idea it was, but they ended up playing “Never Have I Ever” with who ever being the one who has done it having to take a drink. It was fun, mostly dumb ones, like “Never have I ever been out of Indiana (excluding the Upside-Down) or “Never have I ever smoked weed.” It was one of Robin’s though, that nearly gave Eddie a heart attack.
She looked around the table, smirking, half tipsy. “Never have I ever slept with a guy.” She laughed. Eddie thought nothing of it. He figured she used this one to get as many people at the table to drink as possible. Eddie wasn’t surprised when Jonathan, Argyle (they are dating now, he thinks), and Nancy take a drink with him. What nearly causes him to choke on his own beer is seeing Steve also pick up his glass and take a sip.
His shock causes him to cough up his drink, and though his reaction may have been the most dramatic, but other than Robin, everyone else looked confused too. Steve was oblivious to the looks around the table though, only drunkenly turning to Robin saying “That’s not fair, dude. You knew you would be the only one not to drink.” He playfully complains. 
Eddie clears his throat, being the one to ask the question everyone was wondering. “Harrington, you slept with a guy?”
Steve looks around, first confused with the reaction, slowly realizing that everyone was looking at him. They weren’t judgmental, of course, just surprised. He looks awkwardly at Robin who just shrugs her shoulders, before he says. “Oops I guess I forgot to tell you guys. Kind of figured you all knew since we are all…you know…queer. “
Robin laughs at the absurdness of his statement. “Aww Steve, they thought you were our token straight.” She sticks out her tongue.
Eddie doesn’t know why but he kind of feels…jealous. When he thought Steve was straight, it was easy for him to just accept that Steve in unattainable, that he doesn’t like guys. But knowing he does…changes things. Steve was into dudes, and he is a dude. But now he feels like Steve is unattainable in a new way…he is out of his league. Steve can’t want Eddie, no matter how big of a stupid crush he has on him. That hurt more. He can’t explain why he said what he said next, maybe he is a masochist. But his mouth works faster than his brain. “Who?”
“What?” Steve scrunches his eyebrows together in confusion, a strand of hair falling across his forehead. Eddie hates that this makes him more attractive.
He wishes he could pull the word back in, he wishes it would have stayed trapped against his teeth, but it didn’t so he has to go with it. “Um…I mean who was the lucky guy that slept with King Steve?” He tries play it off as a joke, like he’s teasing but honestly part of him wants to know what Steve’s type is.
“Oh, um a few guys, I guess. The first one was Tommy. Before Nance and I dated, I used to hook up with Tommy and Carol sometimes. Most of the time it was the three of us, but I have been with both of them separately.” Steve goes red, realizing all the attention is on him now.
“You were like a …throuple with Tommy and Carol?” Nancy asks in disbelief.
“No, nothing like that!  What we did was just for fun. Those two were their own thing. “ He put his increasingly flushed face in his hands before continuing. “Let’s…uh move on from this embarrassing can of worms Robin has opened.
Everyone nods, but Eddie’s big mouth strikes again. “You said there was a few…”
“Eds, you really wanna know all the guys I slept with?” Steve raises his eyebrow, embarrassment going to amusement. He shoots Eddie a smirk before adding. “Why? You wanna be on that list?” He winks.
Shit. Eddie was too pushy. He doesn’t need to know. His face turns red. “Uh no. I’m sorry, I’m just being nosy. I’m sorry.” He repeats without his usual confidence. He continues to ramble apologies.
“Eddie…” Steve interrupts. “I’m just messing with you, man. It’s fine. I don’t have secrets with you guys. There were a few random hooks ups from the gay bar Robin, and I go to in Indianapolis, and um my senior year, I hooked up with one of the guys one the swim team. See no big secrets.” He laughs.
The tension Eddie was feeling dissipates with the sound of Steve’s laugh. Steve doesn’t care…Eddie is reading too much into this. “No big secrets.” He parrots back. And with that, they were back to the game, no one bringing up Steve’s “come out,” No mention of Eddie’s weird reaction, nothing that should make him nervous. But part of him swears he notices Steve staring him down more as the night goes on.
They end up all watching a movie, everyone passing out in the living room, half tipsy, and just feeling safe. Robin and Nancy are cuddled together on the couch while Jonathan and Argyle are tangled together on the love seat. Eddie had been on the chair and Steve was on the third cushion of the couch. They had been the only two still awake, neither very comfortable where they are. When the movie comes to an end, Steve whispers, “Eds…come on man. Let’s go upstairs.”
“up..stairs?” Eddie stutters out like some pathetic 13-year-old kid with a first crush. But he couldn’t help it. Was Steve asking his to go to bed with him? Maybe he wasn’t crazy. Maybe Steve was flirting with him earlier. Maybe he was staring.  
Eddie watches as Steve stands up, walks closer and holds out his hand, Eddie instinctively responds, taking the other man’s hand, letting him pull him up. “Yea, upstairs. That chair is not comfortable.”
“No, its not.” Eddie agrees as they head for the steps, still hand in hand. When they get to the top of the stairs though, Steve lets go. He starts leading Eddie to the opposite end of the hallway from his bedroom. When they stop in front of the door at the end, Eddie understands. He feels his heart drop as Steve opens the door to the guest room. “Finally have an excuse to use this thing.” He softly laughs, before turning away, saying over his shoulder “Night, Eds. Let me know if you need anything.”
All Eddie can do is nod lamely, as he steps into his room for the night. He closes the door before collapsing on the bed. His brain is on an emotional roller coaster. He feels stupid thinking that Steve Harrington, queer or not, would be into him. Before he can spiral into self-deprivation, he is pulled back to reality by a knock on the door.
When he opens it, there is Steve Harrington, now clad only in the tiny red shorts he sleeps in. It takes every thing in him to keep his brain from short circuiting. “Steve? What’s up?” He hopes he sounds casual.
“Eddie, why did you react that way earlier when you found out I like guys?” Steve cuts to the chase.
“I..I told you man, just surprised.” He tells a half lie.
“I know, I know. You said that but why did you want to know who?” Steve continues, gears obvious turning in his, trying make the connections he thinks he sees.
“I don’t know.” Eddie looks down at his own feet. Looking at Steve feels dangerous right now, Like Steve could see right through him.”
“Eds? You don’t know?” Steve asks skeptically.
“Yea I don’t know. I just asked. Making conversation, man” Eddie deflects, still looking down.
“I don’t believe you.” Steve says back plainly. Eddie was about to protest, insist Steve was wrong. But before he can, he feels a gentle hand under his chin, pushing his head upwards, so Steve can meet his eyes. He’s frozen as Steve smirks whispering, “I think you wanted to be on that list too.”
Eddie can feel his cheeks going red. Without thinking he replies, “I want to be the end of that list.” As soon as the words leave him mouth, he wishes he could pull them back in. “Oh god, I am so sorry. I don’t expect you to just settle with me or anything. I’m sure you have better.’
“No Eddie. I wouldn’t be settling.” He lets out a sign. “ I should have phrased this better. Eddie, I want you. And not just for sex. Like don’t get me wrong, that’s part of it. You’re so fucking hot. But you are so funny and smart and dorky and such a good friend. I’ve been into you for so long. So um, what do you think?” All confidence and charismatic attitude is gone.
“You like me?” Eddie sputters out.
“Oh my god! Yes, Eds. I do. I like you. Honestly, I think I love you and I don’t know how else to spell it out to you. I just don’t get it, Eds? What more…” Steve is cut off by the soft lips pressed again his. It takes him a moment to realize Eddie is kissing him but when he does, he finds himself kissing back. His hands tangle in Eddie’s hair while Eddie wraps his arms around Steve’s waist.
When they finally pull apart, Eddie asks “So you wanna add me to that list?
“Yea, I do. Eventually. But for tonight I just want to cuddle with me…boyfriend?” He asks, worried he jumped the gun.
“Yea…I want to cuddle with my boyfriend, too.” He smiles, pulling Steve into the guestroom, closing the door behind them.
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cannibalgoldfish · 1 year
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You're Beary Cute
Paring: Gaz x Reader (Gender neutral- No use of pronouns for reader)
Summary: Reader has a "little" crush on Gaz and finds a way to tell him without actually telling him. Valentines themed (I know its way late for Valentines day but shushhhhh enjoy the oneshot) 
Wordcount: 1,669
Warnings: none- super fluffy                                             There are switches in focus from Reader to Gaz but it's still second person narration stuff (Tilde symbol  ~ indicating the switch) 
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As the new rookie to the 141 you where met with both warm welcome, Gaz overjoyed at not being the baby of the group anymore and Soap excited to have someone who wasn't aware of the slightly dangerous pranks he liked to pull, and just simple welcomes, Ghost not wanting to get to close (you wore him down eventually) and Price afraid to drag another "kid" in the world of the 141. After several months of being with the unit the novelty began to fade away, although with Soap gaining a partner in crime it never fully fizzled out.
 Proving that you could pull you weight in the team, you gained respect from Ghost and got access to the inner circle. Knowing the others secrets meant that you had to return a few in trade, which unfortunately for you where all more embarrassing than anything else. One late night at a bar after you had a few to many, the team realized you weren't lying about the failed dog walker business you had as a teenager that resulted in you falling into a fountain after tripping on a leash. Or how you got banned from the Zoo after teaching the chimpanzees a vulgar hand sign. Or the accidental Big Foot sighting that got on the news in your home town. (It had just been you covered in mud after a camping trip that had gone wrong.)
The one secret you wished to keep, that was actually so painfully obvious to everyone except Soap, was your crush on Gaz. Price was the first to figure it out early on as you attempted to save yourself after turning red and stuttering while Gaz was helping you study flight manuals. Ghost later caught you "zoning out" in Gaz's direction during a collective gym workout session, chuckling at your poor excuse, he agreed not to say anything. Gaz, oblivious as ever, never seemed to notice or believe the gentle teases from the others.  
Currently, while on down time after a mission, you where ranting to Price in his office about the situation after he brought up the approaching holiday. You softly kick the door closed as you set down the box of files you helped him carry in, "I've tried EVERYTHING-"
"Except confessing." 
"Movie night failed-" 
"I thought you host one like every week?" 
"Well yea, but it was meant to be a soft entry confession thing but Soap CRASHED IT!" 
You yelled out the last part in exasperation, flopping down on the small sofa Price kept in the room. The door creaked open, "Crashed what?", Soap asked sticking his head in. Price looked up from the papers and huffed, slight annoyance was written all over his face. You go to shove Soap's face out of the doorway, "Nothing! Go away it's dad advice time". 
He held up a file with a smirk on his face, "Oh my bad, I guess I'll have to do paper work later." Turning and leaving the door wide open just to piss you off, Soap sauntered away.  
"When did I become- you know what I don't want to know..." Price muttered getting up from his desk and walking out into the common area. Following him out you continued talking,  "Even if I do say something, what then? like I can't go anywhere if it all goes wrong, maybe I can transfer or something, going MIA would be even better- Hey what?" Stopping midway through as Price turned around and directly walked back into his office again. 
"You'll figure it out, you're smart." He stated with a smile, before closing the door in your face. 
. . .
Opening the door to leave for his morning run, Gaz looks down at the objects sitting in front of the entry, a single rose and a giant Ferrero Rocher. Looking around he saw that everyone else also had gifts with a rose in front of their doors, Soap had Biscoff chocolate bar, Ghost had a chili chocolate, Price had a coffee chocolate, and you had a bag of gummy worms. Picking his up, he felt a small lump on the underside of the base, flipping it over he saw that there was a hidden pocket containing a note of a single word: Tank.  
A smile formed on his face as a blip of realization hit, every morning for his run he passes by the old retired tank south of the base. Going to put up the rose and the chocolate, he shoved the note in his pocket and left for his jog. 
Reaching his destination faster than usual, Gaz stopped to take a breath squatting by the old machine. Something glinting in the low light of the sun rise caught his attention, walking over to the edge of the tank, hanging from the main gun was a small silver key with another note: Roof
~
Preparing for room checks was a boring but slightly cathartic part of your routine, making sure that everything was clean and organized kept your space peaceful in comparison to the chaos of the missions the unit was sent on. Moving to open the door to sweep, you slipped on something causing you to nearly miss slamming your head on the door nob and landing right on your ass. Checking the bottom of your boot, you saw a heart cut out of construction paper with words scribbled on the front. 
 Warehouse #34  1800 hrs.
~
Entering the common area, Gaz sees most of the unit up and sitting around the table. Soap was already eating his chocolate bar while Price and Ghost where drinking from mugs. "What you'd get?" Price asked watching Gaz grab a bottle of water from the fridge. "Just a chocolate." He answered, not noticing the glance between Price and Ghost, as he walked over to the door that lead to the roof.  "Finally gonna jump?" Ghost called out as Gaz climb the stairs, Gaz not bothering to respond in the hurry to find the next note.
Pushed against the corner of the rail guard, was a black storage box padlocked with a lock and chain. Pulling out the key, Gaz opened it to find a package wrapped completely in duct tape and wires. Barley touching a wire caused a small beep altering him to a timer stuck under the lid. The timer began counting down from 10 seconds, scrambling to figure out the "bomb" Gaz stepped back as the box went off. A mini cloud of glitter exploded within the box, picking up the package he unwraps it. The box was folded in plastic wrap so the duct tape wouldn't ruin the cardboard box, holding it with a smile Gaz looked down at the Lego orchid botanical set.
~
"Whatcha thinking about?" Soap sat down on the table next to you, his voice cutting through the haze you where in. "Nothing, just tired." You responded sitting up, hand in your pocket holding on to the note. You had been sitting there, staring at the clock counting down the minutes until six o'clock. 
Finally finding an excuse to leave you get up, "Shit, I forgot to refill my med pack.". You walk over to your room and grab a bag. "It's probably to late for the nurse's station, they've all gone home by now." Soap responded, too distracted by his phone to give to much notice. 
You ran out the door, calling out behind you, "I'll just go check the warehouse, better be safe than sorry." Quickly jogging to the building, you paused before entering. 
What if it was it wasn't what you had wanted?
Walking in, you see a table in the middle of the room sitting on the table was a massive bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear holding a paper heart: Build me? 
A clang from the side of the building makes you turn to the noise, "Some bloody idiot-" Gaz muttered tripping over a toolbox someone had left out. "Hey, sorry I tried to get here, Price was going on about incident reports for so long and I didn't want to be rude, anyways-" He stops rambling as you pick up the bear. 
"You uh mentioned wanting a build a bear date one time, so I thought-" He was nervously picking at his fingers, occasionally looking between you and the bear. 
"Gaz come here-" You chuckle, holding your arms out to him. He smiles and completes the hug, "So I take it you like the gift?"
"I love it, did you get mine?" 
"yea, did you make the glitter bomb yourself?" 
"I asked Soap to teach me a while back, sorry there wasn't more puzzles, I only had so much time in between missions and -" This time it was his turn to shut you up from your anxious ramblings, "It was perfect, although soap could have taught you a little better" 
"Yea, lets blame him for that" 
You could feel his movements as he laughed, still holding onto you he leans in before kissing you, "So me, you, build-a-bear Thursday?" You nod in response pulling him to you, occasionally breaking away to breath and smile as he playfully huffed in anger when you broke the kiss.
Attempting to back away (You could only move so far as Gaz wouldn't let you out of arms reach still holding on to you) You look at him, jokingly scolding him for the earlier incident he caused, "you know that stupid ass- I mean sweet note you slipped under the door gave me the biggest bruise on my ass.".
"oh really it did?" Gaz laughed again, a mischievous grin growing on his face as his hands snaked down to the injured area.  "Maybe I can help with that." 
"You sure can." 
I needed to write something cute after the angsty Price X Reader fic lmao  
It was going to be an x male reader but when writing it there was no pronouns or descriptions needed for reader, so might as well make it for everyone. 
Follow for more X reader stuff- requests are open
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technetiumai · 1 year
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Hello there!
I have been writing, but I’m at work, and finding clips of writing is much more time consuming to do, so I thought I’d show some other stuff.
I drew this map:
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It’s not really a whole lot more helpful than the ones on the endpapers, but drawing it was helpful to me. I don’t know if you can even read most of it 😆. I made some assumptions and also just made some stuff up. If there are direct contradictions to canon... I really want to say don’t tell me 😂 because I don’t own white out and I don’t want to redraw it... but, yeah, you should probably tell me. I... want to know...
This is just a zoom in of what we know so that I can draw maps more and less zoomed in of stuff I’ve made up for a fic that we don’t know in canon.
I also made some BINGO cards?  🤷‍♀️
Inspired by a convo on the discord where @boyinjeans posted a few bingo cards that he made, and people were showing what they had on them from the fics they’ve written, then @yeonjunenby said it would be fun to have bingo prompts. And I also thought that would be fun.
But because I’m a giant weirdo I had to do it like how actual bingo cards are, with 15 possible prompts for each column, using a random number generator ro tell me which cards to put each prompts on and where.
I didn’t put nearly as much thought into the actual prompts as I put time into making the cards in the probably unnecessarily difficult way that I did 😅 which in retrospect was probably a silly choice. I didn’t just use Carry On stuff, I used some fanfic/general fic tropes (bed sharing, time loop, fairytale au), maybe a couple things that aren’t common tropes but are things that I like, I can’t remember, and then... yeah, just random Carry On things (Lucy is alive, Simon is good with kids, “Because we match”), some of which were inspired by @boyinjeans ’s cards, although at this point I can’t remember what’s what... definitely cottage-core lesbians was on his though.
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Like I said, each card has a unique arrangement (the colors don’t mean anything, it’s mostly just to help me keep track of things); I’ve only made 15 so far, but this is what I’ve been doing while I have a migraine or while I’m just generally too tired to do things that require thought, so I’ll probably make more, even if no one wants one.
I guess maybe I should put a sample one?
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(Yeah, definitely several of these were on Basil’s bingo cards)
If anyone wants one, let me know! Obviously, you don’t actually have to use them or anything, they’re just... Here...
Ummmm. That’s all I got!
Thank you @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @cutestkilla, and @captain-aralias for tagging me!
I’ll maybe be a little bit more brave about tagging and also tag some people who were in the bingo discussion?
@onepintobean, @fatalfangirl, @raenestee, @bazzybelle, @martsonmars, @aristocratic-otter, @bloodiedpixie​, @wellbelesbian​, @forabeatofadrum​, @aroace-genderfluid-sheep​, @artsyunderstudy​
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zuol · 4 months
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Feeling good about myself
I had a call with a friend today, someone I consider dear to me. We had a meditation together and ended up chatting for an hour, sharing reflections of this last year and how our practice of mindfulness and meditation is.
During the first half of our call, she was sharing very raw, real details of her life in the past year and I felt so emotionally moved by her sharing. I felt like crying hearing her and I did tear up.
When I had shared, I felt this immovable force to continue sharing from a place of vulnerability. Her vulnerability served as courage for me to share too. It was so beautiful to have that call together.
We expressed our gratitude toward each other and I desperately wanted to tell her that I loved her, for who she is and for our friendship.
I felt this way with my other friend, B. B is someone I meditate with often and I’ve been able to share deep, intimate details of my life with her. I feel really grateful for her, and I think her existence serves as a gleam of light for me.
I thought of my professor today. She’s someone I regard highly. She’s so lovely and I feel a lot of admiration for her as an individual.
When I think about my own life, I see how the women I’ve met have had the greatest impact on me. I feel a lot of gratitude for my friends; they are people who I see as my chosen family. We’re together because we choose to be.
I think of my family members, many of whom I’m close to even though we are different from each other in so many aspects. I feel grateful to be their kin, and that we have the privilege of being so close to each other physically.
I think of my relationship to my mother. I think our relationship has been improving and that’s enough to show my happiness.
Everyday gets better. Even when there are so many challenging things happening.
I choose to be grateful though. To see the good in my life. It’s an intentional act that combats the habit of seeing what’s wrong with me and my life.
There’s so much going right.
I took off my clothes and looked at myself in my intimates and I saw how thin I was.
I’ve been consistently going to the gym for the last year. It’s something I keep quiet about. It’s helped me a lot with pushing myself past my limits, knowing my limits, giving myself space to do less (or nothing), and give myself the chance to see what it means to live as myself.
And I really like living as myself. It’s really fun.
It’s enjoyable because I go with myself and go with what I think is right. I give myself the opportunity to be whole. Even in the discomfort, there’s a lot of comfort and ease.
I’m 25 and I want to keep this up. This year is coming to an end and I want to keep this up.
This is a wonderful opportunity for me to stand up and live a real purposeful life that’s attuned to my own convictions and values.
I feel really good saying this.
With that being said, I will practice to learn more about myself. To love and accept myself unconditionally, especially when I make mistakes or fall short of my expectations. I know I deserve that.
I practice to deepen my practice of meditation and being vulnerable with those that I care about. I want to be true to my feelings and say honestly how I feel in the moment.
I don’t want to push my negative feelings aside anymore. I give them full citizenship and as a result, I give myself another chance at being fully human… fully whole.
I also want to appreciate my body too, no matter how I’m feeling about her!
This last week, I’ve been incredibly sick and it felt awful to do anything. I tried to rest as much as I could but I also had responsibilities that I couldn’t let go of. I’m amazed at how much I could endure even if I wasn’t fully healthy.
I no longer take things for granted.
I’ve been having thoughts about certain people who aren’t in my life anymore and I have a lot of gratitude for what they taught me when we were in touch.
I’m thinking of A, someone who I’ve always admired since I was younger. When we became good friends, I was so happy and it was always a joy for me to see her.
I felt apologetic after we stopped being friends, because I thought of the times I wasn’t a good friend to her. When I was interacting with new friends, I would think of her and try to improve my behavior so that I don’t make the same mistake.
Not to say that it was “my fault” because I have learned that any relationship is comprised of two people.
Still. I have a feeling that she’s doing well and I want to wish her well.
Even my ex-boyfriend too. I spent a lot of time being remorseful about the relationship I had with him, but there were many good things that happened during the course of our relationship and after. So I think of him quite fondly, even with all the compost I had to take care of after the end of our connection.
It feels good.
To have a positive feeling towards someone.
I feel good writing this, because I’m being honest.
I watched The Boy and the Heron two weeks ago and one of the things I was moved by was the protagonist’s sincerity and unwavering determination. What a strong kid!
I feel this sincerity and determination when I read Murakami’s memoir. I feel it again when I have compassion for myself.
I felt it in my call with my friend, T, today. It felt magical.
I’m happy. I’m grateful. Right here and right now. Even if I haven’t slept.
I remind myself that things have their own way of working out. I remind myself of my grit and resilience. I remind myself of my own strengths and values. I remind myself of the magic of the connections I have, and the improving relationship I have with myself.
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The Marichat something, but I swear next time it'll get better
Something happens and Marinette starts seeing Adrien only as a friend. She is very unsure what to do about it.
She refuses to tell anyone, not wanting to let anyone down. She just stopped crushing on Chat Noir, she can't just say she doesn't love anyone now! She definitely can but
Alya teases her about her past crush, unaware that the cat is far closer to be her love interest now. He isn't though.
She still meets with Chat Noir from time to time, suspiciously avoiding the topic of her feelings- she doesn't need to get fanzoned again, EVEN IF SHE'S NOT JUST A FAN. It's not like she wants anything more though. And especially, it's not like she's in love with anyone-
Marinette almost gets akumanised after seeing Chat Noir flirting first with some girl and later with one of Adrien posters.
Spoiler: He did the latter on purpose. And had to save her later. Has been tempted to do that again ever since.
Adrien still thinks Marinette is in love with him, so he assumes she was jealous of the poster. In civilian form, he feels kinda bad...
She was still cute though
Marinette, still happily unaware, started wearing small green or cat accessories, "because they look aesthetic"
Surprisingly, she was so sure about it, that everyone believed her too.
Marinette avoids panicking over crushing on Chat Noir AGAIN via not naming her feelings. If it works it works, why dig deeper.
Maybe she keeps daydreaming about him, but that's normal
He's THE Chat Noir, who wouldn't daydream of him. That's normal. Very normal.
One time, Chat mentions she was his first kiss. Marinette pauses for a second, before admitting that so was he. In a very friendly way, they decide having friends as their first kisses is a good thing. It concludes nothing and definitely wasn't weird at all.
A week later, after a mission, they met on Marinette's balcony.
They were both a little tired and bored in general, one of them tripped, and they "accidentally" kissed (it's not like she leaned in and he pulled her down. Nah.)
They kissed again to prove they're just friends, and cause the kiss felt okay.
TL;DR: They were too bored apparently.
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gloombby · 6 months
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“4 page essay” yr getting 3 1/4 n im getting a failing grade and some fucking sleep
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today there was a buzzing sound in a room i was in and i was trying to ignore it.
i had headphones with me but was also making an effort to participate in conversation, so i had them off (didn’t want to be perceived as rude). at one point there was a loud video playing too and i had to put the headphones on, but tried not to draw attention to myself and took them off right after.
it got to a place where i was struggling to keep shutting it out and put my hands over my ears for a couple seconds at most, and someone asked if i was okay. again, i was trying not to make a big deal of it, so i just stammered something like “oh, sorry, it’s just the buzzing, it’s fine,” and then they turned it off.
and while in retrospect i am not allistic enough to understand why they wouldn’t have turned the sound off sooner (did it not bother them? amazing), it meant quite a bit to me. i’ve been having trouble making sense of it to myself, but i think it boils down to this.
i was uncomfortable. i was trying to hide this discomfort so as not to inconvenience anyone else or negatively influence their opinions of me. someone took notice of my discomfort and rather than being judgmental or annoyed—both of which i’ve experienced in such a scenario—they asked if i was okay, and made an effort to make the space better for me. they accommodated for me. and it was the tiniest gesture—it took all of two seconds to turn the buzzing off—but it meant so, so much to me.
anyway. more of that energy in the world. make someone’s day by reacting with compassion rather than derision.
peace and love on planet autism :)
-rain
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ruler-of-fandoms69 · 1 year
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Need some constructive criticism please
So I’m drawing my OCs scythe, and I haven’t drawn scythes in awhile, so i need to know if this base design looks good
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I’ll add more details ofc, but this is the base design for it. I used a light blue outline so I can properly see how it looks in my OCs hand when I make the other layers visible. I’m wanting the base colors to be red and blue, seeing as how that’s Felix’s (my OCs) main colors.
give me any constructive criticism you have, no matter how harsh it is.
I need to know how to improve, and the harsh criticism just helps me better myself in art
I might show the finished product of Felix and the scythe
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cannibalgoldfish · 8 months
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Unavoidable (Part three)
Paring: Price x Trans Male Reader 
Summary: The rest of the unit finds out about reader's and Price's little secret
Part one Part two
Wordcount: 962
Warnings: Not full on smut but slightly steamy near the end (AFAB parts mentioned but no use of feminine language or gendering for the reader)
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A few days had passed since the "incident" that resulted secret meetings, hidden kisses, and many (MANY) excuses to talk in his office. Price kept up his performance of professionalism , although a little less cold than before, he had let some time pass before speaking with you in public to seem as if the problem wasn't in fact you but was some personal issue that was brought up by the former mission. The rest of the team had felt the tension dissolve and gone back to their normal routines, not worried about certain topics or if you and Price where in the same room together. 
Gaz, revamping his chef skills (a hobby that seemed to only come to life when you all where stationed anywhere for more than a month or at home base), introduced the old tradition of weekly dinner again. This week's meal was spaghetti paired with some fancy wine he had chosen and convinced the rest of the unit to lend him money to pay for the near ridiculous price tag while they went shopping earlier. 
The door to the base swung open right as Gaz had finished plating the food, you chuckled at Gaz scolding Ghost and Soap for coming in late. (Apron on and spoon in hand, it was hard to take him fully serious) "Blame the big guy, he's the one that insisted on staying until-" Soap responded, getting cut off when Ghost slapped him upside the head. 
"Some people are actually hungry over here you know.." You jokingly call out as the duo sat down (Soap pouting and rubbing the back of his head), Price pushing the chairs out from under the table with his foot for them. Gaz began setting down the food, detailing the ingredients and cooking specifics that was only of importance to those who understood the culinary arts. The meal continued with conversations and laughter until a gentle pressure brought you out the little bubble you where in. Sitting directly across from you was Price, smirking and moving his boot slowly up and down the length of your leg. The others not noticing the interaction, where busy chatting away. The tension filled gaze filled your core with heat, hiding his smug grin by taking a drink of wine when Soap turned his attention to Price. 
two can play at that game 
Playing innocent, you allow him to keep playing his little game. Pretending like everything is normal, you continue the dinner ignoring his looks and talking with the others. Finishing the meal, Ghost and Soap offer to do clean up duty while you gather the dishes. Getting up you begin collecting the plates as Gaz and Price sit at the table, strategically leaning over at the right moments you smile to yourself as you catch Price try to not make his staring obvious. Once the area had been cleaned and cleared the others slowly retreated back to their rooms. You had waited leaning against the counter, refusing to leave first, a challenge against Price's actions. 
"Shall I walk you back?" You grin at him, teasing the implication. He looks at you, a smile growing as he stands to his full height, he nods and motions the way to his bunk. Walking back, near shoulder to shoulder the entire way, you two stop at the door. Price steps in front of you, one hand holding on the door knob, a shy but excited expression on his face. 
"I'll leave you to it then." You grin almost giggling at the sudden emotion drop on his face, "I said that I'd walk you back, nothing else" You turn to go back your room, leaving a shocked and dumbfounded captain behind you. 
___
The next morning, during your routine inspections of the base and the refilling supplies for future missions, you where grabbed from behind and dragged into the nearest room. Your eyes slowly adjusted to the sudden dark, a hand removed it self from your mouth as the figure let you go. "Thought I'd get you back" Price's voice gruff and filled with smugness from being able to catch you off guard. 
"You're the one who started it" You shot back, letting out a small laugh as his arms wrapped around your waist pulling you in for a kiss. You could feel him smiling as his hands moved ever so slightly downward, leading you on him as his knee gently pushes between your legs. You let out a groan, grinding on to him as he kisses your collarbone leaving hickeys just low enough to be hidden by your shirt. "Here?" you ask, arching your back and pressing into him as the heated coil builds within you. He says nothing, humming in response, his hands making their way up your shirt before moving back down, dipping into your waistline. 
A noise cut through the air, causing you to freeze. "Shit" You half laughed half grumbled, body going slack at getting caught. Soap's wolf whistle faded into his giggle as you looked over to seek Ghost's shoulders moving in laughter. "Seriously?" Price muttered, hands still on you, face buried in your neck in embarrassment.
"I see you two finally made up" Soap says with a smirk and wink, looking between the two of you taking in every detail. (most likely for "blackmail" later on) Ghost, amusement raiding from him in waves, grabs Soap by the back of his collar to yank him away, "Let the love birds be Johnny." You feel Price straighten up, watching the two walk away leaving the door open. You look back at him, both serious for a moment before cracking into quiet laughter. 
"Wait- why were YOU TWO looking in a closet anyways?!" you call out after them, already knowing the answer. 
Tag list:
@homicidal-slvt
@b0g-b0y
@ghost-2513 - Credit for most of the plot lmaooo
@tapioca-marzipan
Sorry it took so long! (got like several months of writers block) also anyone have any advice on making a pinned post for guidelines or organizing the posting of fanfics? I'm fr just freeballing it rn....
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Books of 2022 - Favourite Books of the Year
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I tried so hard to come up with a top 5, but I only have 3 books I truly LOVED this year. It was, in short, a mediocre reading year (more on this to come when I process my reading breakdown in the next day or so.) Anyway, here are the books:
3. A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
I usually exclude rereads from this list but I didn't have enough choice this time. However, I haven't read A Game of Thrones since 2014! It's been a long time and I'd forgotten a lot of the details. I've rekindled my love for A Song of Ica and Fire/Westeros this year and this book was a large part of this love coming back. Honestly, it's just so good and I'm so happy I've gotten over the post-series 8 blues around Westeros.
2. The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien
Okay, yes this book SHOULD be at number 1, it is my favourite book after all! But I did really want to give something else the highlight because it's a given that I loved this book. Tolkien's history of the First Age is everything I look for in my fantasy, and nothing has ever come close to beating it (not even Lord of the Rings itself!) It's full of drama, wonder, beautiful prose, and a world full of legends. I still haven't found the words to summarise how this makes me feel 10 years after first reading it. It truly is one of a kind.
1. Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay
To be honest, you should just read my review of Tigana if you want to know how I felt about this book. It has haunted me all year, I haven't read anything as good since then - there is a noticeable change in how I'm thinking about and reviewing books after Tigana. I rarely read fantasy standalones but this book has proven that fantasy can, and sometimes should be, written this way. I was particularly captivated by Dianora and Brandin's plotline, the tragedy of it just will not let me go... I keep thinking about how well Kay wrote both them as individuals and their relationship. Honestly, if you read one thing off this list (and it's full of big names) then read Tigana.
Honourable Mentions:
I enjoyed all of these a lot but they didn't quite reach the same heights for me as the top 3 which were all in another tier (except maybe Emma but we all know how I feel about Emma by now...!)
The Curse of the Mistwraith by Janny Wurts - this book was so good and I thought Wars of Light and Shadow was going to be my new favourite epic fantasy. However, Wurts has lost me a bit with later entries into the series and that has coloured my view of Mistwraith since then. I'm still upset about it...
A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms by George R.R. Martin - the book that started my rediscovery of how good Martin is! If I did a top 5 this would have been in it but I didn't want to repeat authors and I like A Game of Thrones more.
Emma by Jane Austen - this has featured on my top 5 every year since I first read it... It's still my favourite classic, I just wanted to switch things up
Lord of Emperors by Guy Gavriel Kay - this book was AMAZING, just not quite as good as Tigana. Technically I think it was better written, but I didn't have the same emotional connection to it
Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott - I simply haven't sat on this one long enough to know if it's a favourite of the year or merely an excellent book. This is the problem with December reading, still an excellent regency historical fiction set in medieval England. I had a blast with it!
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fandomfantasyy · 11 days
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𝜗୧ ,, danganronpa: unknown hope !!
꒰꒰ note ;; offical posting schedule will be editted into intro / pinned post ,, ꒰꒰ previous stories ;; prologue ,,
⌒ 𓈒 fanfic under the cut !! ꒱
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ㅤMy name is Sadow Misaki.
ㅤI remembered the small "interview" that happened an hour or so before we got on the bus. We found out what we were invited for and were told what the schedule would be. God forbid they followed it, apparently.
ㅤI was taken in for my talent as an "influencer", whatever that meant. I just posted on social media and somehow hit it big. I didn't really mean to be an influencer. Was the talent part of it blowing up without even trying? Because that was just luck.
ㅤIt didn't matter to me at the time. After all, it didn't matter what I was going on this camping trip for. It's an extremely prestigious trip that some kids even transferred to get a chance at. Only seventeen kids went on this trip, so you can imagine how disappointed many were.
ㅤAs I heard "Monokuma" (at least, that's what people called it) announce that were were in a killing game, my heart sunk. My eyes widened as they drifted to the floor. I saw a few sink to the ground in pure fear, and I wasn't too far to follow.
ㅤA killing game? I'd heard of these before, yeah, but I didn't expect it to happen to me. I was always a quiet and reserved one.
ㅤ"Wellll!" Monokuma hummed. I was already sick and tired of that voice. "Since you all are processing, I'll leave you to it! Merry killing!"
ㅤJust like that, the bear disappeared. What about my friends? My family? I didn't want to die like this. I didn't have a choice though.
ㅤSADOW MISAKI ;; ULTIMATE INFLUENCER. ♡
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yk sometimes i wish i did tell the councilor about how i really feel instead of making up some bullshit story but we all know better than to trust the school councilor
i mean come onnnnnn it’s either keep my mouth shut until i turn 18 and leave or end it all orrr my mom checks me into some psych ward like she said she would when i was 10
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heich0e · 2 months
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the itadori house always smells faintly of clean laundry.
it's not because the two boys who live there are particularly diligent about staying on top of their housework—the towering pile of recyclables in the corner of the kitchen is proof enough of that—but it's because the first time yuuji had tried to do his own laundry, he used way too much detergent. the ensuing tsunami of soap suds had flooded nearly half-way across the tiny apartment—coating the floors, the baseboards, and anything else in its path, in a slippery (though pleasantly fragranced) froth that took DAYS for the two brothers to clean up. it must have sunk in to the floorboards, or there must still be traces of it lingering in nooks and crannies that they couldn't reach, because even now, years after the catastrophe, the scent still lingers.
even though the mere mention of the incident still makes a vein of irritation throb in sukuna's forehead, and makes yuuji hang his head in shame, you don't mind the smell. it's familiar after all these years. it reminds you of this place.
you burrow your face down into the cushion of the living room sofa. it's raining today, and a bit humid, so the scent of detergent is particularly strong.
you're nearly asleep when a voice interrupts your quiet moment of relaxation.
"i should start charging you rent, y'know."
you don't open your eyes, even once you hear the words that come from above you. even without looking, you can picture the scene: sukuna leaning over the back of the sofa that you're sprawled across, his weight resting on his elbows as he peers down at you with his usual scowl. it's not the same scowl he shows to everyone else—the one that makes people shrink back under his gaze—this is a softer version of the same expression, dulled by familiarity. if you were more optimistic you might even say it was blunted by affection.
"stop pretending to sleep, kid." you feel his hand grasp your hip, shaking you lightly. "i know you're faking."
you feel a smile threatening to pull at your lips so you turn your face towards the pillow—the one you bought for the sofa, since the itadori brothers' idea of home decor is limited to creased posters for old mafia movies nobody's ever heard of and women with their tits out taped to the wall—and you burrow down to hide your expression from view.
"you're such a nuisance," sukuna groans, and then you feel the sofa dip. you figure he's pulled himself over the back of it now, based on how you feel him kneeling overtop of you with your legs straddled between his own. you're on your belly, but you can feel him rest back on his haunches, trapping your feet underneath him as he sits. "can't you nap at your own house?"
"too tired," you finally rasp out, daring to peek at him over your shoulder.
"and i'm not?" he scoffs, lifting his hand and pushing his hair back from his face. he's still half-dressed in his work uniform—a pair of slacks from the security company he's been working at part-time for the past few weeks, and a white t-shirt that he usually wears underneath the short sleeved button down that matches the trousers. "i just worked a double—been up since 4."
he does look tired, now that you have the chance to look at him. his hair is a bit dishevelled and he's got dark circles under his eyes. sukuna always looks a bit exhausted—and has since grandpa passed away and he took on the responsibility of raising yuuji. but it's particularly noticeable right now.
"and i can't even come home and take a nap on my own couch because there's a freeloader here."
you bite the inside of your cheek, wiggling around a bit underneath him so you can lay on your back.
"charge me rent then," you parry back to his complaint, and he cocks an eyebrow at your challenge. "i want a bed though. s'only fair."
"we'll get bunkbeds for yuuji's room, then," sukuna quips.
"don't wanna bunk with yuuji," you counter again, "he snores."
sukuna pauses, staring down at you. he leans forward slowly, his hands pressing into the couch cushion on either side of your waist as he dips towards you. "only one other bedroom in this place, y'know—"
you do know. it's why you said it.
"—and i have no plans to give up my bed."
sukuna is close to you now. too close, in any other circumstance, but this is one entirely of your own creation. a circumstance that feels more like an inevitability than anything, given the tension that's been crackling between the two of you lately, ever since he rescued you that night at the bar.
"didn't ask you to give it up," you say quietly, your eyes flickering across his features until they eventually settle on his lips.
sukuna makes a little noise in the back of his throat, close to annoyance, but not quite. distinctly tortured in nature.
"you really, really are a nuisance, y'know that?"
his hands are on your hips now. not like when he'd shaken you awake—this touch is greedier, needier than that passing graze. his fingertips slip up underneath the hem of your shirt until they brush against your bare skin, and the contact makes your body flush with heat.
"yuuji's gonna be back from class soon," you murmur softly, your gaze flickering back up to sukuna's heavy-lidded eyes. his nose twitches a little in annoyance, knowing you're right.
sukuna backs away a little, his hands slipping back out from underneath your shirt.
you sit up and catch his wrist in your hand, and his eyes widen in surprise. your faces are close together now—so close you can smell the cinnamon gum on his breath. he stole a pack from you a few days ago, and clearly he's still chewing it.
you can't smell the laundry detergent anymore.
"i didn't tell you to stop," you remark lightly, leaning back so you're splayed out against the sofa once more. you stare up at him, waiting for him to process what you've said—watching the thoughts play out across his uncharacteristically shocked face. "i just meant that you should hurry up and do it already."
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zuol · 6 months
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Update
On my neighbor. I've mentioned him on this blog many times, and I thought that it is appropriate to share the end of my interactions with him.
He's someone who is white. Engineer. Has his own family.
He's said and done weird things, and he's also been someone who's offered personal opinions that were helpful to me.
I randomly ran into him the other day and we went for a walk together and watched the sunset. It was hard for me to focus on watching the sunset because he talked so much. Nothing new. I remember once, I told him to be quiet.
I remember he had gripped my arm, reenacting a scenario he had with his wife and I was so caught off guard. This happened while I was watching the sunset and I froze. My whole body froze and I had to calm myself down because I was so shocked that he did that. I told him I was uncomfortable when he touched me like that but I was trembling. I was not calm. He didn't apologize. He said that he was trying to show me what his wife did. It was weird. It was stupid.
Walking down, he was still talking (ugh) and I was really trying to calm myself down. He stopped to ask me a question, and I told him verbatim that I was still calming myself down.
That interaction stayed with me, and I was so shocked that it even happened.
I saw him a few days later in the evening and he walked passed me, not acknowledging me or saying anything. I stared at him the entire time, and I was in shock to see how pathetic he was to say absolutely nothing to me.
I felt a lot of anger in me after that evening. I decided to text him sharing my disappointment and discomfort, and told him to be conscious of how his actions affect others.
I didn't receive a response back (no surprise), and concluded how cowardly this person is. And when I reflect on all of my interactions with him, it made sense that was the end of everything. This person is so strange, and I find no reason to ever want to interact with him again.
I saw him again today while I was chatting with my friend, and by the time she asked me how I was, I told her that my loser neighbor passed by.
It's ridiculous how he had the audacity to act inappropriately, and didn't think twice about what he did. A lot of generic things came up for me like how there are men who think that they own women's bodies or how so many women are harassed on a daily basis.
I feel sorry for his wife and two daughters.
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zephyrchama · 2 months
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Obey Me! brothers and an MC with long hair...
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It drives Lucifer crazy. He's constantly asking you to clean the shower drain and nagging at you to either pull it back while studying or cut it short. His tune changes at night, when there's a chance to unwind with his favorite record. One hand cups a glass of Demonus while the other idly runs through your hair. He'll brush his fingers through it to the tune of his music. He'll grab a fistful of it and let his imagination run wild. The next morning he's back to complaining about the drain again and dropping a scrunchie on your head.
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It's such a distraction for Mammon. He'll drape your hair across his shoulders like a scarf or hold it up to his lips like a fake mustache to make you laugh. He'll bury his face in it to escape from the world when his brothers find a new reason to be mad at him. He'll tug on it if he feels you're not paying enough attention to him. Mammon enjoys wrapping your hair around his fingers and rings. He's very possessive over it. He has a habit of sticking stuff in it like a mischievous little boy, but instead of gum he'll plant flowers and leaves in your hair, then kick back and watch as you dig out a mirror to see what he's stuck on your head this time.
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Leviathan has a hoard of anime-themed hair accessories that don't suit him. He only bought them for collection purposes, but now that you're around he's always looking for an excuse for you to wear one. It's too adorable. He's mesmerized over the way your hair bounces and sways in pigtails, versus how elegant you can look when a high bun exposes your neck. He wants photos of them all. If you sit in front of him, Leviathan will comb his dexterous fingers through your hair and ask to style it. He enjoys the smell of your shampoo lingering on his hand and on the accessories he lends you.
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Satan idly plays with your hair while he reads or spaces out. Most of the time he doesn't realize he's doing it. It does irk him when he finds a stray hair in the pages of his book, or on his clothes, but he doesn't vocalize it like Lucifer does. He'll take matters into his own hands. You'll find Satan randomly tying up your hair without warning, then look all smug admiring his own handiwork. The elastic hair ties he keeps in his pocket for you double as toys for any playful stray he spots on the street. If you have a hair out of place then Satan will tuck it back for you, slowly smoothing it out while making intense eye contact.
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You never knew how many hairstyles existed until you met Asmodeus. He frequently asks to try out new ideas and products with your hair. He comes to brush it when he wants to vent. Spa days are his way of bonding, wherein he'll wrap your long hair up in a towel and wrap his arms around you while it dries. Asmodeus is addicted to the feeling of it, freshly combed, falling across his skin. He uses your hair as an excuse to touch you and will match your shampoo scents with his. You have to admit the feel of his nails against your scalp is incredibly relaxing, and his intuition for fashion is never wrong. He loves watching you admire his work in the mirror while singing his praises.
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It worries Beelzebub. He worries your hair will get stuck on something, as he's had to help you untangle it from a hook more than once. He worries someone will use it to hurt you, as he's seen Mammon pull it to tease you. He worries it will get in the food, since he's choked on a long strand before. Whenever you're in the kitchen, asking Beel to tie your hair back is a good way to distract him until the food is done, as long as you don't use a fruit-scented shampoo. When you do, it's fun to have him guess what fruit you smell like and compare it to the real thing. Beelzebub is always conscious of your safety and won't hesitate to put a protective hand on the back of your head if you're walking past a low tree branch or leaning over a pot of oil. He's trying to learn to braid for you.
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Belphegor finds it annoying to wake up with a mouthful of your long hair. It's pretty, but he hates getting his hands tangled in it while he naps, or finding strands of it on his sheets. If it didn't smell so good he'd have already cut it for you. His solution is to buy you soft hooded pajamas. He thinks it's cute to button a big plush hood (think of kigurumi) around your head and tuck the hair inside it. Sometimes he gets really ugly ones because they're funny. Then he has no problem using your head as his personal headrest. He likes rubbing your head because of the expressions you make. The only downside to these hoods is that he can't enjoy your messy bedhead, so he makes sure to take them off for you, too.
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