#did this instead of sleeping; tried to sleep when half done but failed to close my eyes so...

[captain-mj]

Ohoho, angst. Soap got captured during a failed mission. The enemy all wear skull masks as they interegate (torture) him. Both to keep their identities hidden and as a mockery of the 141... after finaly being rescued Soap can no longer look at Ghost without fear flooding his body~

Have fun! (If this interests you of course)

I want to eat this ask I love it so much

Ghost had done nothing, absolutely nothing, but look for Soap over the past few weeks. He had been trying so hard to find him. Price had tried everything to make him sleep for a while, but other than a few seconds when his body basically forced him, he hadn't. For the first time, it wasn't insomnia. At least, not his typical insomnia. He'd close his eyes and see his past. How he had been hung by his ribs, the whippings he had dealt with, the surgeries. It wasn't him being tortured now. It was Soap. It was worse now. At least before, it was just him.

So as he cleared the building, he did it methodically. He made them painful but quick. No time to drag it out like he wanted.

It wasn't until the fourth body that he noticed something. A lot of them had makeup on and masks. Ghost had no clue how he managed to go this long without seeing it. The images of the masks swam around in his vision, all too stained with red for him to make any sense of it. He decided to just ignore it.

Johnny was... so tiny looking. The 4 weeks, 5 days and 13 hours had been hard. He had lost so much weight. Ghost took a step into the room he was in, noticing the floor had an inch or so of blood. Mostly dried so probably build up over the past few weeks. He lifted him up, ignoring that he had clearly lost quite a bit of weight.

Ghost was gentle. He had cleared the entire place already. Made sure of it twice before coming to this specific room. It meant he could go as slow as he needed.

Johnny hung limply in his arms and no amount of prompting was getting him up right now. But he had a pulse. Ghost pulled up his mask just enough so he could feel Johnny's breathing on his bare skin. It was easier to keep track this way.

He made his way to exfil and quickly undressed him. Johnny vaguely fought against him, more just waving his hands. He hadn't really woken up yet.

Ghost ignored him entirely, instead just looking. Whip scars. Typical. But there were wounds he didn't recognize. Deep punctures in a pattern. After a moment, he recognized it as barbed wire. It had been wrapped around his waist and wrists, clearly cutting deep into him.

Once bandages covered most of Johnny's skin, Simon gently redressed him. He noticed his hair. It had grown out in patches where it was normally shaved and his hair had gotten longer. Simon didn't like it. Not only was it not the best look, it wasn't Soap's signature mohawk. And while yes, he may tease the man relentlessly for it, it was a lot worse to see it wrong.

Johnny didn't wake up while they sat there. Instead, he lay there, only ever half conscious. Simon checked his eyes, seeing the hazy barely dilating pupils. Drugged to high heaven.

Price came and they were transported. Johnny never left Simon's arms. Simon never pulled that part of his mask down so Johnny's breath hit his skin, causing goosebumps.

"How is he?"

"Physically? Torn to shreds."

"Mentally?"

"Not sure. He still hasn't been lucid unfortunately. Think they dosed him. I think I saw some tranquilizers, but it may be something worse." The medics came. He didn't try to fight, just let them. Johnny needed medical assistance that he couldn't give him. Unfortunately.

Ghost hated that, but he hated not being around Soap more. He walked away from Price and quickly went down the halls. A debrief could wait.

It was hours later when Ghost was told that Soap had woken up. For some reason, he started to get anxious. Soap had been gone for weeks. Selfishly, he hoped Soap hadn't changed like he had. The thought of Soap being different. Cold and hard and distant.

Ghost asked a nurse who showed him and he determinedly didn't slow down as he walked. He went straight to Soap, happy to see his Scott laying in bed, mostly whole from the looks of it. No missing limbs that he could see, both eyes. Bandages around his throat have implications but Ghost doesn't want to think of those right now.

It was a private joke around them for a while. Soap's heartbeat always sped up around Ghost. He always brushed it off to say that it was because Ghost was a big man that startled him. Then, once they started getting a bit closer, he admitted its because Ghost made him nervous for different reasons. So when the little monitor started beeping louder, he wasn't actually that bothered by it.

Then he looked at Soap's face instead of analyzing him. The sheer terror on his face. His eyes as wide as the moon as they stared back at him. He could hear his breath stuttering in his throat.

"Johnny. You alright?"

Soap panted softly, moving from not being able to breath to hyperventilating. His eyes were on Ghost's face. Specifically the skull.

"I got out..." Johnny wheezed out. "I... I got..."

"You did. I helped you."

Johnny hit the nurse button and someone quickly came in, shooing Ghost out. He didn't understand. He saved him. Why was he scared?

Ghost hid in his room a while. Price found him. He must've heard what happened, because he just sat next to him quietly.

"Did he freak out with you?"

"No. He asked for you though. Multiple times. Said he didn't understand why you weren't visiting."

Ghost frowned at that. "I visited as soon as he woke up. Didn't seem to recognize me."

"Probably whatever they gave him making him loopy. Don't take it personally. That's an order."

Ghost laughed a little and nodded. It felt bad somehow. To laugh right now.

Eventually, Ghost went to Soap again. The reaction was immediate, but not nearly as bad. Soap still winced in fear, still white knuckled the sheets, but he seemed to realize he was looking at Ghost at least.

"Lt..."

"Johnny." Ghost didn't move closer, waiting for the okay to move closer.

Soap looked away, visibly shuddering. "The mask..."

Ghost prepared himself. Ready to tell him to fuck off or keep dreaming. Of course, even in this situation, he'd bug him about this.

"It looks like theirs."

Oh. The wind fell out of Ghost's sails. "I'm sorry?"

"They were masks. They looked a lot like the Ghost teams... Your mask..."

Ghost looked around and found a medical one. He switched to that and immediately felt nauseated. His hair was out. Half his fucking face. But after locking the door to his room, he felt like he could handle it to talk to Johnny for now.

"Thank you." Soap mumbled, looking just as upset and rattled as Ghost.

They stared at each other. A pin could drop and they'd hear it and the echo from it.

"I wouldn't hurt you."

"I know. But they did. They did a lot...." Soap didn't sound broken or detached. Just resigned to the fact. He was probably already compartmentalizing. Putting it away in the right boxes so it wouldn't hurt him anymore.

"I won't be able to wear this all the time..." Not only because Ghost couldn't handle it, but a lot would have to change. Price already had to pull so many strings for the balaclava. The amount of paperwork and strings to have his mask changed would take weeks.

"I know. I'll get over it. I promise." Johnny's breathing got hard and uneven again.

"Relax, Johnny." Ghost reached out and Soap flinched back. His hand froze, still mid air between them. "I won't leave you alone.

#cod #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare ii #soap call of duty #johnny soap mactavish #soapghost #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #simon riley

[trans-queen-administrator]

One year ago, give it take a few days, I started reading Worm. I finished it in a week. I don't think I'll ever read a story that affects me as much as Taylor's did, and since it's the anniversary of me reading Worm I think I might as well get sappy and emotional and write out how much Worm impacted me.

Tw: talking about suicide

I was in a terrible spot before Worm. Behind in every single class, failing to eat or drink or even just get out of bed for entire days, ghosting all of my friends and family just because I couldn't work up the will to talk, I just rotted in my dorm all day and let the tasks pile up higher and higher because I didn't know how to dig myself up, so I just gave up. I found Worm from some stupid meme that I saw while scrolling through social media for 13 hours a day in an attempt to drown out thoughts, and for reasons I still don't know I started to read it instead of returning to my blank inertia. I hadn't had the mental willpower to read or even feel anything in months, and it was completely out of character to immediately read it instead of just saying I'd do it later.

My sleep schedule was already fucked, once I got started it wasn't really a shock that I stayed up until like 5 am.

The week went by, I got to Leviathan, the Nine, Echidna, countless incredible interludes, and somewhere early on I think Worm became some sort of last hurrah. I'm not totally sure if I would have done it, but I had rough plans for methods of killing myself. Worm is a long work, impressively so, I was telling myself I'd finish it so I had something to be at least somewhat proud of before I went. It was a means of procrastination for the end since I didn't want to leave it unfinished, and also a road to it since once I was done reading then it would be time.

I became completely closed off from the world, even more than I had been previously. I dropped any pretenses of passing or attending class, what would the point be when I wouldn't be around for the grade? My meals became even less frequent, and when I had them it was always accompanied by reading. My sleep time was cut in half, I was waking up earlier and going to bed later all to read Worm. It was a week long fugue where I ceased to exist except for my ability to read the text. Once I was done reading, that would be it for me, and since I had closed myself off from pretty much everything there were no outside sources to convince me to change my mind. Just Worm. And it managed to do it.

Something about Taylor's absolutely insane amount of willpower just hit me hard. I remember when I read Speck and was reduced to a sobbing wreck for a day that was one of my strongest thoughts about her. She just tried so hard for everything, and absolutely never gave up as long as there was some way she could try to do something. I never learned how to put all my effort into stuff, but Taylor was inspiring enough that I wanted to at least try to learn how to try. It sounds cringey to write down, but if she could try so hard that she united all of humanity to kill an omnicidal god, then I could at the very least try to eat lunch.

Speaking of lunch, I read 90% of Speck in the corner of my college dining hall. It was like 4:00 and I was the only one there somehow, which is great because I was breaking down the entire time as I read Taylor fall apart. I don't think I'll ever read anything that hurt as much as Speck.

Another part of Taylor that was just as crucial to making me want to live was showing how much her self destructiveness hurt others. How could I justify killing myself when I just read how much it fucking tore at Taylor's friends when she became Khepri? When Lisa scrambled to just barely save Taylor from a suicide attempt in the first chapter of Gold Morning? Even when she just left them behind, Rachel's anguish was palpable, so who was I to ghost my friends because I was too scared to text anyone? I always knew on a logical level people would be sad if I died, but seeing such solid depictions of hurt from similar situations just... I dunno, I couldn't justify it when it was so much clearer to me how much it would hurt people I love.

I took a day to emotionally recover from the mental rewiring that comes from finishing Worm, and then I called my parents and told them how poorly I had been doing. I hadn't done it before because I didn't want to be a burden. They were happy to help. I dropped all my classes and went home. Worm stayed with me, it gave me some sort of substance to my life, something to latch on to. Making ideas for fanfics that I'd never write, talking with friends I'd made through Worm, rereading Speck if I needed a good cry, all of it kept me going and made my life feel less flat. Like five months later I started posting to this account and that was another outlet. It was just fun to analyze the text and make up theories about this work that did so much for me, and when I finally started posting them online that was good fun too. Thank y'all for reading my dinky little rambles, somehow I've cracked 400 followers on what was originally just a place for me to write down my thoughts during lunch hour at a mental hospital. Whenever I get a detailed comment in the notes, or I see someone like/reblog 20 of my posts in a row as they scroll through, or I see the names of people I always see in my notifications it just makes my day. Y'all are lovely.

And well, now it's been a year. Worm was supposed to be the final story I read, a countdown to the end in 1.7 million words, but it managed to convince me to keep going. I didn't think I'd make it to the next year or even the next month, but it's November again and I'm still here. I'm not doing great, but I'm here and I have Worm to thank for that.

#worm #ramble #tw: suidice #woo that was cathartic to write #I kinda just wrote this out for me #was planning to have it sit in drafts #but hey it's my blog #who's gonna stop me #anyway from the bottom of my heart #thank you worm #god that looks stupid #why didn't I just call it like #parahumans #this entire ramble #ohhhhh worm saved my life #like that sounds dumb #whatever #I'm not changing it #I haven't edited a post in my entire life and I won't start now #I emerged from my worm fugue cocoon and stronger woman

[vickyvicarious]

Suddenly, away on our left, I saw a faint flickering blue flame. The driver saw it at the same moment; he at once checked the horses, and, jumping to the ground, disappeared into the darkness. I did not know what to do, the less as the howling of the wolves grew closer; but while I wondered the driver suddenly appeared again, and without a word took his seat, and we resumed our journey. I think I must have fallen asleep and kept dreaming of the incident, for it seemed to be repeated endlessly, and now looking back, it is like a sort of awful nightmare. [...] Suddenly, I became conscious of the fact that the driver was in the act of pulling up the horses in the courtyard of a vast ruined castle, from whose tall black windows came no ray of light, and whose broken battlements showed a jagged line against the moonlit sky. I must have been asleep, for certainly if I had been fully awake I must have noticed the approach of such a remarkable place.

5 May, Jonathan

I tried to keep awake, and succeeded for a while; but when the clock struck twelve it waked me from a doze, so I must have been falling asleep. There was a sort of scratching or flapping at the window, but I did not mind it, and as I remember no more, I suppose I must then have fallen asleep. More bad dreams. I wish I could remember them.

25 August, Lucy

As he approaches the castle after midnight, Jonathan is nervous about seeming to drive around in circles, and afraid of the wolves. He doesn't outright say he's trying to stay awake but I think context is clear that he'd rather not be sleeping right now especially when the wolves are a danger. He's trying to notice landmarks and keep alert, but feels as though he slipped into sleep anyway and compares the experience to a terrible dream. He doesn't seem certain that he was asleep but moreso extrapolates from available information (he would have noticed the castle's approach had he been awake). This also seems to have happened unsteadily, multiple times slipping in and out of awareness.

Lucy tries to stay awake shortly before midnight, because she is afraid of what might happen to her in her sleep. She doesn't notice herself falling asleep and has to reason that she must have done so based on information (she was startled by the clock, she would have noticed the noises from the window had she been awake) but was unable to wake up fully despite that momentary awareness. Instead she succumbs to sleep once again, where she is trapped in nightmares. Her memory of the night is uncertain, just like Jonathan's was at times but more completely.

There are all the other vampiric hypnotism moments that compare extremely well too - Lucy's unsteady half-awareness of Dracula in her memory of being fed on for the first time. Jonathan's uncertainty about falling asleep repeating again when he first meets the vampire ladies and is placed in their trance ("I suppose I must have fallen asleep; I hope so, but I fear, for all that followed was startlingly real") and the way they seem to appear suddenly in the room, once again indicating him possibly losing some time as they approach. Jonathan's understanding that he was being hypnotized the next time he sees them, and his active struggle to break free from his dreamlike state almost like Lucy's failed effort to stay awake here. Even the last night, when Jonathan ends one entry praying on his knees then wakes in the morning to pray on his knees again without noticing or explaining why he stopped to sleep in between, much like Lucy's inability to remember her dreams. - but I don't think any are quite as one-to-one as here.

Especially because Lucy, just like Jonathan in the 5 May entry, has just unknowingly placed herself in Dracula's territory (well, a day ago, but it's close enough to make the point). Whitby was a stop on the way for him, but he intends to stay in Carfax, to make it his new Castle Dracula in many ways. And Lucy's return home has brought her into his sphere of influence as surely as Jonathan's journey to the castle did. The greater distance between them, and even her own house which he cannot enter without a freely-given invitation... those protections are of no use when no one knows to use them. And right now, no one does. No more than (in fact less than) Jonathan knew the value of the crucifix he'd been gifted.

#dracula daily #jonathan harker #lucy westenra #the parallels between them..... #jonathan barely made it out but lucy is in much more danger already because she doesn't KNOW #not who or even what to be wary of let alone any way to learn more #and she has already been bitten several times. she's already suffering greatly #and dracula doesn't seem to have any plans to keep her around to amuse him with scheherezade tales

[suckerforcate]

A little too much Alcohol Pt.2

Pairing: Brienne of Tarth x Reader

Word Count: 746

Warning: none

A/n: Part 1, this might be shit, sorry. I wrote half of it at the airport and the other half in a Pub. Also I'm so sorry for the lack of fanfics atm, I have so much to do!😭

Waking up, you immediately felt like someone was trying to drill through your head. Thankful for the glass of water at your side, you gulped it down in one. The sunlight that fell through your window made your head sting, and you hastily pulled the curtains close.

Today wouldn't be too active. You just wished to stay in bed and sleep through your immense hangover. No matter how hard you tried, the memory of the last evening didn't seem to come. Instead, your headache just seemed to get worse, so you gave up and crawled back into bed.

You had nearly drifted back to sleep as you heard someone open the door. The steps were light and yet firm. You immediately recognised them as Brienne's. Feeling safe with her, you stayed in your current position. Back turned towards her, nuzzled into the sheets. You felt the bed dip down a little as she sat down and soon a warm, soft hand stroked your shoulder. She lightly pulled at your shoulder, as to make you turn to face her. You obeyed.

Brienne smiled at you warmly, leaning down a bit to place a soft kiss on your lips.

"Morning, little Chatterbox." You hid your face under the covers, embarrassed. You had already assumed, that you had talked a lot. Probably a lot of embarrassing and stupid stuff. You always did when you were drunk. Which didn't often happen, which explains why you had never been this drunk. So you imagined it must have been horrible. Like someone vomiting words.

"What did I say?" You mumbled through the fabric, peaking over it with one eye.

"It's nothing- just..." you could see Brienne was searching for words, that didn't happen often. And she was lying, which also didn't happen often. What on earth had you done?

"Brienne, I know you're lying. Spit it out." You sat up straight, looking at her seriously. Why was she so strange about this matter? You could imagine having said anything hurtful. Because: drunken words are sober thoughts. And you had never, ever had one bad thought about Brienne.

Brienne saw the panic in your eyes, and however hard it was for her to understand why. She knew you never wanted to hurt her.

"It wasn't anything bad, don't worry. It's just-" She sighed, looking down a little embarrassed herself.

"You said that I was really tall. And then- you didn't realise you were talking to me- then I thought you would say something insulting, but... You said it was hot." She nearly whispered the last part, and you had to lean in a little to understand her. Taken aback, you lean against the headboard. Staring at her, you tried really hard to keep your laugh in, and failed miserably. A deep, throaty laugh escaped you as your head fell against the wall.

Brienne was too stunned to speak, her eyebrows furrowed a bit. You quickly grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

"I'm sorry, Brienne. But that's not what I expected, I thought I had insulted you or- I don't know. That's just the blant truth." Her eyes shot up, looking at you surprised.

"Oh, don't look so confused. I thought you knew. I love it when you tower over me, it's so hot, and it makes my knees go weak. Honestly, you can't be so oblivious." Brienne shyly looked at you. The revelation hit you like a truck. Right in the face. She was. She absolutely was that oblivious.

Leaning forward a little, you tilted her chin up. You cupped her cheek and pulled her closer to you. Her lips on yours erupted butterflies in your stomach. It was one of those kisses that could make you nervous and shy, even if you had been married for twenty years.

Slightly pulling back, you leaned your forehead against hers. Her eyes were shut, her breathing was ragged. You knew she was on the verge of tears.

"Brienne, my beautiful girl. I always thought you knew how mesmerised I am by you. I don't just think you're beautiful, you make my heart skip, my breath hitch. I never want you to second guess how much I love you and how stunning I think you are. Understand?" A single tear escaped and ran down Brienne's cheek. You gently brushed it away, and placed your lips on hers.

"And now, lay down and keep quiet. I have the headache of a century." Brienne lightly chuckled and obliged.

Tag List: @thoroughly--confused, @danveration

#gwendoline christie #gwendoline christie x reader #wlw #brienne of tarth x reader #brienne x reader #brienne of tarth #got #game of thrones

[bangficsx]

BAD IDEA RIGHT?

CHAPTER 3

previous | index | next

word count : 5.4k

synopsis : Rae meets an old flame. Taehyung questions her. She discovers Yujin's secrets. A little peek into the past. They get a head start to the restaurant. Rae discusses her suspicions with her friends.

pairing : jungkook x female oc

warnings : slight smut

Rae watches Min Yoongi's hands grip her thighs as he stands between them. Solid cock throbbing for relief.

He was her first one nighter at twenty. She had only had sex with her first boyfriend and was told she could never satisfy a man when he cheated. Meaningful sex had its own beauty but sex had only for pleasure, well that's the real deal. Better with a man committed to just getting the job done. She was a hedonist thrived for pleasure.

Min Yoongi never failed to deliver. Even though they were three nights scattered apart in time. Each time she was with him she knew she could trust him. He had won that at the first time.

He never looked for anything more. Left as soon as he got what he needed. No unnecessary chatter. Neither did he want to know anything about her nor did she about him. They were a mystery to each other.

Even if she didn't come the way some man had made her, time spent with him was mildly enjoyable. Something that took thoughts of that one guy she could never have away from her even if it was just for a little while.

What did it matter if she didn't just have the one, she had the freedom to have many more.

She started avoiding dates when she realised all she did was compare them to him, Jungkook. Her one and only love.

That's not what Jungkook would say. Or Jungkook would do this. Jungkook would've ordered this. Jungkook would've joked about it. She couldn't control herself.

"You know I saw you once more. Thought I could ask you for a fuck but you were kissing some guy. So I passed by quietly and quickly." He says.

"When? Which guy?" She asks. Has kissed too many.

"About three years ago. One with a sleeve tattoo and long hair." She knows exactly who it was.

"Let's just get done with this. You better make me come this time." She smirks at him.

"Are you challenging me Rae?" He pulls her closer, far too close.

"Consider it one. Let's see if you're worth recommending." She teases pumping his cock, hand wrapped around it.

"I'm not some tool."

"Prove yourself" her words fill him with a burning desire.

"Let me" He says lifting up her skirt to roll down her panties before aligning himself with her.

A few minutes later as she walks outside again, completely fucked out after he actually took her challenge seriously. A quick bathroom tour to recollect her decency wasn't enough. She needed to get home and get a good night's sleep.

When she searches for Cara she instead finds him with Taehyung.

"Hey. What's up?" She asks watching them drink together. Taehyung trying to keep Cara in control.

"I knew you would leave me alone. So I called him." Cara says cheeks flushed, her drunkenness indicated through her tone and eyes.

"Was gone just for ten minutes." She checks her phone but it's actually been half an hour. She really did lose track of time.

"Tae you can't let her drink that much" Rae says removing the glass from her reach.

"I tried." He defends himself.

"Now help me get her home" Rae glares at him when he helps her to get Cara to stand from her seat. She smiles foolishly at Tae but he tries to maintain his focus.

He sat with them on a bench and started a conversation with Rae. He had his own suspicions and had to confirm them.

"What happened with you and Kook?" He asks her leaving her in shock. He wasn't supposed to know. It was only Jimin who knew a bit not the full truth though.

"It's all past now Tae. We don't have to bring it up again." She says uncomfortable at the mention of it. Him and her weren't that close for her to discuss it with him.

"Kook was in pain too you know. He didn't show it, tell it but I know he was. I've known him for so long that dude can't keep his feelings hidden from me. And somewhere somehow we all knew about you two. You were the first ones but not the last. We've all broken the rules in some way since then. Jimin and Cara. I had a crush on Iris for a while. I controlled myself though. Look it was bound to happen. We've known each other almost our whole lives that brings a security, a trust which eases the transition into romantic feelings." Rae listens to his words but avoids looking at him instead looks at Cara dozed off on her shoulder.

"You and Jungkook were the first ones. It must've been complicated. You two didn't have to hide it from us." He tells her in an understanding way.

"It's not like that Tae. We were just young and naive and wanted different things. And he's married now. Let's just hope he makes it work." She smiles at him.

"Honest thoughts..." Taehyung says nervously "I have no hopes of his marriage working out. They're in no way compatible. Knowing Jungkook it's not gonna..."

"Truly it is kinda weird. He shared the sunrise but not a single pic from his wedding. The mention of a baby makes his whole existence tremble." Rae speaks her honest thoughts too even if they're a bit brutal.

"Or maybe it's good for him. He lives too much on the edge. This will teach him he can't keep living without thinking about consequences forever. This is gonna ground him. Give him a better purpose than to just fuck around." He says.

"Whatever..." She says jerking off the idea of him from her mind.

"Taxi's there" he says helping her get Cara up from her seat and inside the taxi. She thanks him for his help and watches him walk away as the taxi drives ahead on the road.

"Oh god Rae... you're..." Jungkook breathed heavily standing in front of her. Enclosed with her in a closet as they played a game of hide and seek, a birthday tradition for the twins's birthday party which hadn't lost itself after they grew older.

The Kang mansion was nothing to be exaggerated about. It was huge, an inherited property of Cara and Iris's father who was the single child of their grandfather. They were the first set of twins and girls born in the clan after four generations of single boychilds. Considered miracles, they were loved and cherished by their family.

Despite the place being too big.

Jungkook and Rae both ended up in the same room to hide themselves in. Finding a half empty closet they both decided to hide inside it.

The proximity was unbearable. Ever since Rae's breakup they'd both been glued together. Jungkook didn't let her be alone so that she doesn't rots in her sadness. He let her be sad but in his presence.

Strangely she found a solace in his presence which let her be vulnerable. Let her saddest thoughts and feelings express themselves. There had been one too many times she'd cried with her face pressed to his chest, apologised for leaving his t-shirts drenched. He didn't mind. Her state affected him too much. He thought it was just because they were close friends.

But when he found her so close to him, not even inches in between their bodies. A new feeling took birth in his hearts. He wanted her, wanted to kiss her, touch her, feel her. Though it was just attraction like the way he's attracted to girls at clubs. Ignored the thumping of his heart when she innocently smiled at him and touched his hair.

She didn't ask him to complete his sentence. Rather put a finger on his lips.

"Rae if we hold back right now then... Just once please... Just need to know if what I feel is real" He rested his hands on her waist as she grew nervous.

"I have known it for a while now Kook... but we can't... we don't fuck with our friends those are the rules..." She reminded him.

"I'm not asking to fuck. I would never jump to that with you. With you, I don't care about the fucking rules Rae. You've always been the special one." And he had melted her heart with his words. Maybe it was the effect of alcohol. Because with what happened later, he didn't exactly stay true to these words.

They had kissed. Kissed for longer than they should ever have done. And that was it. They were doomed. Their friendship was doomed. They hadn't realised in the heat of the moment they could never undo their actions.

Tell me you won't hurt me.

Tell me you'll be there always.

Questions were asked in a haze, answers were given but had been forgotten.

Rae stands outside the building of Jungkook's restaurant but doesn't dares to go inside.

Unlike the day before, today he was with his wife. Must've forgotten the walls weren't opaque as he made out with her. She was sitting on the counter while he stood in front of her. But soon she started to pull away and he reluctantly parted from her. Complained as she did so.

When Yujin stood up he bent down to press a kiss on her abdomen. She touched his hair before picking up a bag and walking towards the door. Her phone rang and she picked it up got outside the door before saying anything. Rae shifted aside on the stairs to give her space as she rushed outside.

"Yes, darling I'm outside now. He gets so irritatingly clingy in the morning." She sighs before running towards the bus stop.

Rae frowns looking at her but then goes inside. What harm would it do her? If anything Jungkook would be given a taste of his own poison.

"If you're done romancing should we get working?" Rae brings him out of his daze when he stood near the sink seeming to think about something deeply.

"Sorry" He whispers.

She sits on a chair and watches him walk towards her fixing his pants and pulling his t-shirt to cover his crotch. Quickly sat down on a chair across the table.

"I want the paperwork done by the end of this week. Need everything on paper otherwise I'm backing out." Rae speaks gravely as she tells him. He nods and mutters a 'sure'.

"First of all, we need to decide a cuisine. Is there going to be one or multiple?" She asks. He bites his lip before answering.

"The area does have a lot of restaurants already so competition's tough." He says then looks at her. Keeps his hands on the table. His fingers clasped together.

"You must've something in mind?" Rae tries to get an answer again.

"Your specialty was Indian right? What about that? There's no one selling Indian in the area." He proposes.

"Just that one" Rae asks as she flips pages on a notebook to write details down.

"Wide variety possible. You used to cook so many I don't even remember the names. That one potato dish you used to make with poppy seeds..." He tries hard to remember. She can tell by his expressions he's thinking about food.

When she was in culinary school, they all gathered on weekends and she would cook Indian food for them. Ever since she left it brought back memories for them. Especially for Jungkook who was treated with delicacies more often everytime he was with her. He could never order Indian again just because it reminded him of her too much.

"Aloo posto" Rae answers. He confirms with a nod.

"Can never find it in a restaurant. Pav bhaji, Rajma Chawal... God Rae you have got no idea how much I've missed your food. Train some people. Get ingredients imported. North Indian, South Indian we're gonna have it all at our place." He gets hyped up with the aspect of it. Knows if her food is sold they'll make loads of money and her dreams. This would be all her dreams coming true.

"Jungkook..." She watches him as he smiles at her but then grows serious again.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"Ummm nothing" She shakes her head. Thinks she can't tell him just now without knowing if it's actually true. Might keep it with herself for a little more.

Over the next few days, Rae brings her stuff from her old place and finds a new place to rent near Cara's and the restaurant's location. She chose a spot in between to be close to both.

Jungkook did his research for the business. Read books that Rae gave her. Watched thousands of recipes on youtube by renowned chefs and local creators alike. Selected the ones he thought he would like to try out. With Rae's help through text he placed orders for authentic ingredients to be placed.

Both of them took equal initiatives. They posted online openings for interns and marketing managers. Devised strategies for promotions. Looked up interior designs and rooftop arrangements. Tried to create a place which would bring comfort yet have it's own uniqueness to draw people.

The next week, they would finalise recipes. Firstly they planned on Rae training Jungkook with the basics. And then she would conduct a five day workshop for those who would help. Rae would take up the position of both co-founder and head chef. While Jungkook would be co-founder and manager.

She spent downtime watching the show Jungkook contested a year and a half ago. A survival show where contestants played games and tricked each other to move on to the second round. He looked hot, was attractive than most others and therefore, created buzz amidst a small section of society. He couldn't hold on for long and got eliminated in the second week.

She found some online posts regarding him, the hot guy, people complaining about him going away too quickly and that they wished he could've had more screen time. Just because he was a delight, a feast to the eyes to look at.

And it was obvious he did make efforts to look good. Hair cut short in a way that made him look sexy. He either wore crop tops or sleeveless shirts. Exposing either his biceps or abs, never both at the same time. He looked suave.

Only if the guy she was watching on the screen knew at the time what was going to happen to him. He would end up fucking the same woman a few too many times, end up getting her pregnant. In a way to make things right and easier for the life that had been created and which the woman denied to get rid of, he would marry her.

That he would throw all his tendency to play the fuckboy into the fire and start a new life acting as the family man. Trying to ignite love in his heart for the woman who carries his child in her womb but someone else's image in her heart. He tries his best.

Unlike him he wants his kid to grow up with loving parents. His father never showed much affection, had a negligible presence in his life. Most of his childhood he hadn't even seen his father much to know what type of a person he was. Never had a paternal figure to look upto and learn from. His mother was the dominant caregiver, his father just provided for them.

Early in the morning on a cold Monday Rae arrived in the restaurant early to check if everything was ready to conduct the workshops for the people they had accepted applications from for the positions. She smelled and touched each condiment or grain to check it was of fine quality.

She watches Jungkook sleepy sitting at one of the tables. He had been working hard for the past few days. Taking care of Yujin at the same time. She had to go to work and had no energy once she came back home. He handled everything related to the house. From preparing her meals at time to cleaning the house.

"You want chai Jungkook?"

She asks, wiping the counter and the new shining utensils that bring her so much joy. A whole new kitchen all hers to command over. A dream come true.

He nods while he yawns.

"Wanna come over to learn?" Rae knows moving around, getting active will take away the lethargy from him. He's always been like that, once he gets on his feet then he doesn't feels sleepy anymore.

"Fill this pot with two cups of water." She says passing him the pot while she slices ginger and grinds a powder to add flavor.

"Look this powder has cardamom, cinnamon and clove in it. Put the water on the stove, high flame. Let it come to a boil." Jungkook follows her instructions carefully. He's eager to learn. Wants to be able to help her out. Take care of things in case of her absence. His sleepiness nowhere to be found now, he was attentive, focused on the task at hand.

"Now put the tea leaves in it. Add the ginger and half teaspoon of the powder." She shows him how much of the powder should be put for the perfect taste. Tells him about the ideal ratio.

"Now?" He asks.

"Let it simmer for a couple of minutes." She stands with her arms folded by her chest and back pressed to the counter top, while he stood beside her keeping a careful watch over the pot.

"Add the milk" He measures two cups of milk and pours them in the pot and watches as they mix with the decoction.

"It smells heavenly. Damn..." he inhales deeply with his head bent over the pot.

"Now let it boil twice. When the milk starts reaching the rim of the pot, stir it and lower the flame. Then slowly turn it to medium flame again and allow it to come to a boil. Ideally you would keep stirring that helps enhance the flavor somehow, keeps the temperature balanced." He tries to listen to her words and watch the tea boiling at the same time.

"Then pour it into cups with the help of a strainer." He smiles at her as he followed the instructions she just gave. Within a minute, the chai was ready to drink. He poured it into two cups for them.

"I'll teach you how to make snacks that go with this later. Let's just enjoy this right now with biscuits." Rae smiles at him before moving towards the cabinets they'd just arranged pre-made food items inside.

Realises biscuits were kept in the top shelf. Jungkook was the one who arranged those. She gets on her tiptoes trying to reach the packets but her hand doesn't reaches them. Wishes she'd grown a bit more taller than she was. Curses at her fate.

"I'm standing right here. Just say the word and end the struggle." He smiles playfully before sipping tea from his cup.

"What an impolite man... what are you gonna teach your kid?" She scoffs at him. Continues to struggle, makes sure that she'll buy a stool soon after this.

Jungkook quietly walks upto her, his cup kept down on the counter. Rae ignores him as he stands behind her. It doesn't lasts long as his hand wraps around her waist. He picks her up and raises her enough to grab the packet.

She jumps out of his hold and then nudges him in the stomach.

"This is how you thank people?" He asks.

"Fuck off. And keep your sinful hands away from me." She pokes his forehead before walking outside taking the pack of biscuits with her.

"These hands have only committed good sins." He whispers looking at his hands.

As afternoon approaches and the morning hours pass by turning into busy hours. All the people that were supposed to come reach at time. Rae was glad to know they were all mostly passionate about cooking and hadn't come just for money. They followed her instructions well, listened to her attentively. When she pointed out mistakes they made the necessary improvements. And if they found something could be done a different way they let her know politely.

"Hey Jungkook can you get the delivery for the basmati rice? The delivery man is unable to get the directions. Reminds me we should put up at least a poster with a tentative inauguration date." She says but he shows her his hands covered in flour from the dough he was trying to knead. This was his third attempt after ruining two by pouring too much water.

"Fine I'll go." She says wiping her hands on a towel and then tells her pupils "You all better have that ready when I come back"

When she goes out she finds the truck driver standing at the end of the lane, he sends his helpers with the sacks of rice that they had ordered. She walks upto him to make the remaining payment and to talk about future arrangements if they like the quality. He assures her there'll be nothing to complain about.

Before she turns around she finds Yujin getting down a car, from the front seat. She blows a flying kiss to the driver. Her suspicions lay confirmed. Yujin is cheating on Jungkook.

Jimin asks Rae to have lunch with him. She asked him to come over to Jungkook's restaurant and have lunch with them but he said he'd already booked a table. When she'd the time to take a break she came to meet him.

He greets her with the widest grin, pulls out the chair for her and helps her take off her coat. She hits him jokingly. Teasing about his sudden show of mannerisms.

"What would you like to have?" He asks looking up from the menu. Would eat whatever she wants.

"You decide" She gets confused with the options.

"No you decide" He smiles cheekily at her.

Rae randomly picks something and Jimin orders the same thing for himself too.

"So tell me what's up with you? There's this intern at our place her best friend is totally your type. She tried to hit on Jungkook but then he's a married man now so no luck. Want me to set you up with her?" Rae teases him like she normally used to do. Knows he doesn't likes blind dates. He wants love to come naturally to him. Meet a person and see sparks instantly.

"Wouldn't be very nice of me to think about a date with someone else while I'm at one." Jimin says waiting for her response. She gapes at him. Another friend trying to make things more than just friendship is her worst nightmare. She knows how it turned out when she lost Jungkook. She didn't only leave a partner but also her best friend in the whole world. And her world hasn't been the same since then.

She tries to thread words together because she's downright in disbelief, first Jungkook now him "What! What the fuck did you just say? When did us grabbing lunch together become a date? Never say that again. We can never date." She lashes out at him and he sits wit his head bowed down. He shouldn't have interpreted things a certain way without her consent.

"I'm sorry. It never happened. Forget it. It was a bad idea. You're my friend and it should stay like that" He smiles slightly at her then looks at his food "How are things going with the restaurant? And Jungkook? Is everything fine now?" He asks.

"Pretty good. We might be able to do a soft opening in about a week and a half. Grand opening after a month or so" She informs him about the plans. Doesn't looks up at him. He feels guilty he'd probably pushed her away from him forever by saying things out loud.

"Hey... Rae I'm really sorry okay? I didn't meant to... I'll be honest it's just my inability to go out on dates with strangers that's why I wanted to try things with friends. Iris is not an option, she's not into boys and she's not exactly my type anyways. I messed things up with Cara already. I'm really sorry..." He apologises repeatedly not wanting to lose his friend once again.

"Its just that I'm already so worried. Jungkook's..." She hesitates to say it. Hates to say it.

"What?" He asks curiously. It could be anything considering how unpredictable things had been for the past few months with Jungkook.

"Yujin... she's cheating" Rae finally shares the secret with someone. She wanted to tell Cara but she was busy and couldn't find time to call back. Now that Jimin was sitting in front of her she had to share it.

"How do you know?" He asks raising an eyebrow.

"I saw her getting down a car and then blow a kiss towards the man in the driver's seat." She says. Jimin chuckles.

"All things we all do on a regular basis. How do you know it wasn't a friend?" He asks unable to belive something like that could happen to Jungkook. Having a kid at his age is one thing and being cheated on is another level of mess. It would mean the end of everything that had just begun.

"Before that I heard her talking on the phone as she passed by my side. She said she finds Jungkook being clingy irritating. Like they're a newly married couple. She's carrying his baby. I was outside so I saw, he just kissed her and then her belly. Like that's just normal husband and wife stuff right? I'm pretty sure I heard her address the caller as 'darling'." She explains why she suspects Yujin. The darling phrase had escaped her ears partially as a car honked on the road at the same time.

"Look we can't tell Kook anything without solid proof. We all do know she's pretty... rude... but she's carrying his child so we respect her for that. Don't worry about it too much okay?" Jimin says trying to calm her down. She looked tense about it.

"He's our friend Jimin. I want to see my friends happy. He's sacrificed for the sake of the family that he's creating. He's working hard, he turned his lifestyle upside down. And he loves that baby so much. What if that baby is not even his?" Rae blurts out the worst. If something like that is true, it would ruin Jungkook. He thinks about it all day long. It's the centre of all of his concerns right now, his baby.

"Rae!" Jimin protests.

"Its possible. Some people are like that..." She shrugs her shoulders.

"Listen.. don't say anything to Jungkook right now okay? We'll figure it out together. He's probably blind to such things right now. Yujin is his child's mother for him. That's the biggest position for a woman in a man's life. He wouldn't allow her to be disrespected. We need to find evidence. Then if he wants he'll ask for a paternity test. God... this is all so fucked up. How did Jungkook get himself in such a mess?" Jimin speaks while Rae watches him, hands kept on her lap, occasionally takes bites of her food.

"Think I'm gonna tell Hobes" Jimin says rubbing his forehead worried about his friend.

"I'm gonna tell Cara too" Rae purses her lips.

"Keep it from Iris. She's already done too much damage." Jimin warns her.

"I know" Rae mouths.

Gets flash back to three years ago from that one hot summer night. From when everything went downhill.

Jungkook and Rae had started hanging out together, in the real sense started dating. Both of them were just two fools unable to give their relationship a name.

Whenever they felt like they would hang out at each other's homes or go out together and yet find their way back stumbling upon one or the other's home. They would just kiss and feel each other up before sleeping beside each other.

Jungkook had asked if she wanted to have him in other ways. She said she wanted to wait. Didn't want to rush things. Wanted things to go well. Because if they fucked up she wouldn't know what to do, and in any case they still did.

Iris had seen them kiss and threatened to tell the others but they weren't sure about it then. Telling others would have only meant too much pressure to make things work. They didn't want that.

Soon things got heated, they both being young and passionate found it unavoidable to resist their temptations anymore. Rae planned to make it special for Jungkook. Make their first time memorable.

The pair of them planned a weekend getaway. Iris saw the tickets at Jungkook's house and asked what it was. And she wickedly third wheeled on what was supposed to be a memorable first experience for Jungkook and Rae.

She always exercised a disdain towards Rae. Always tried to downplay her. Would always point out some unworthy lacking in the food she cooked. Always make some nasty comment about her partners. Worst of all she didn't like Rae being close to Jungkook then she was.

Rae had known Jungkook before they all knew each other from an after school academy they both went too. Hence, she considered herself his superior friend than others just on the basis of knowing him longer instead of knowing him better. Rae knew him better than anyone else, better than Iris. If she let slip any tiny details about Jungkook she'd noticed Iris would always try to prove her wrong.

She knew Jungkook and Rae were waiting for that night. Regardless of her being there they tried to ignore her for most parts of the trip.

Iris got drunk, got Jungkook drunk. Somehow took him to her room that night. On the night he was solely meant to spend with Rae. She waited and waited for Jungkook to arrive but he didn't. He'd promised her he would be back just after a smoke.

In the morning, Rae found him in Iris's bed. Both of them unable to testify if anything had happened.

Rae and Jungkook both knew what they'd wished for to happen that night. The intentions and ideas hadn't been verbalised. After asking her one time Jungkook never mentioned wanting to get physical to him again. Joked too many times about them being just friends, Rae thought they were just that 'jokes'.

They'd all taken trips together and trips in small groups of two or three or four. So just taking a trip couldn't have meant that things meant anything else in their circle.

Hoseok and Taehyung had been on a trip together. Jungkook, Jimin and Cara had gone on a trip together. Taehyung, Jimin, Iris had been on a trip together.

And when she thought hard then Jungkook hadn't exactly frowned upon Iris joining them on their trip.

When Rae found them she didn't ask them directly if anything happened but noticed their confusion indicated in conversations to each other. They tried to act normal but Rae caught their unusual manner.

And the next night, Jungkook made a move on her. She wasn't exactly jovial through the day and he tried to lift her moods. Asked if he touched her than would it make her happy. They were too close to doing it when Rae backed off.

She realised she didn't exactly trust him. He could've done anything. She didn't want to be just another girl to him. She called off things then and there. Asked him to never touch her in an unfriendly way again or kiss her ever again.

Jungkook didn't realise what it was. He was ninety percent sure nothing had happened between Iris and him. He felt maybe Rae just didn't like him or wasn't all that attracted to him. Sadly he buried his own feelings deep down.

They put up the facade of trying to be normal friends for a month after it. Rae couldn't bear it longer. She was in love and now broken. Others had started noticing her behavior towards Jungkook changing suddenly. First she started talking to him more than usual and then suddenly stopped uttering more than two words together with him.

She didn't want them to know anything about it. As teenagers they had all promised, made a pact, they'll defy odds that girls and boys can be friends without wanting to fuck each other. As they grew older it became harder to control themselves and keep up the promise.

Strong friendships gave way to deeper connections and feelings.

And then Rae went away.

#jeon jeongguk #bts #bts smut #bts series #bts stories #bts fanfic #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeongguk #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #park jimin #bts jungkook #yoongi smut #min yoongi #jungkook x oc #kpop writers #kpop fanfic

[kieiswrite]

Kari got me re-readind pieces of a project from a year ago. I felt very nostalgic about it, so here is a draft of a pivotal chapter of a fic that I doubt will ever be finished. It's important to me, though. The fic, and this snippet.

---

“Scar?”

Closer now. The trap had failed, then. Of course; of course, how would it not have failed, he did not have skill with engineering, and it was meant for—it was never even meant for—it was not supposed to—

He had lost the moment someone found the entrance. He had lost long before, in truth, but he did not want to venture in that direction. He would not be able to keep it together. 

“Scar?”

Now in the corridor. Now right behind the door. 

Please go away, Scar thought with all the vehemence he had left. Please, go, but another part of his mind screamed Save me! and it was stupid, so stupid and impossible to think that anyone could save him, least of all Cub.

“Scar, are you here?”

No. I have not been here for a long time.

The door creaked and the familiar bald head peaked in. “Scar, are you—there you are!”

Scar squeezed his eyes shut. He was sleeping. He was dead.

He was being a fool.

“Can I come in?”

Cub had a kind voice, considering. Soft and polite. It did not always match his actions, but with Scar, he had been kind. Considering. He had never presumed, he had never overstepped (once, just once he had, but even then he had been right). There was a vicious, callous beast inside of him that Scar had witnessed the vex coax out plenty of times, and even without the masks, there were flashes—but in Scar’s mind, there was a disconnect between what Cub had done and who he was at his core. Scar did not think of the horrors. They were not happening now, so they did not exist. There was only the Cub who was kind.

“Come,” Scar whispered.

Cub stepped into the room. He scanned it, looking for traps or dangerous contraptions, but there was nothing left; the only dangerous thing the broken, shriveled husk of a man tied in a chair, living on potions and will a few days at the time.

“What is this?” Cub asked, eyes wide. “Scar. What happened?” He had to think both the room and the man a horrifying sight. He stopped at a distance, and while Scar desperately wanted him to come close, to grab and hold his hand like they used to do, he discarded that desire like he had discarded every other futile thing. He could not waste his energy for dreams.

“I’m dying,” Scar said. He smiled. He could be happy to see Cub, at least, now that all his horrible secrets would be revealed. “I have bid the Vex goodbye, you see, like we said, and I’m again sick as ever. The potions keep me breathing, but I throw them up half the time and I can’t eat anything solid, and I can’t walk. So eventually I die, and then I revive. It has happened a few times now. What is going on with you, Cub? I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

It was meant as a quip about his own absence, but Cub seemed to read an accusation into the words and a look of guilt washed over his face. “I wanted to come earlier,” he said. “Scar, I am so sorry, I tried to find you.”

“I know. I didn’t want to be found.”

Cub did not ask why; he was a smart man, he got it. Instead, he nodded slowly and stepped closer, still very careful and measured in what was a characteristically Cub-like approach to something unknown. He could have reached Scar’s hands now. 

There must have been a stench in the room, it occurred to Scar. Even if for now he was fresh and clean, surely the sickness and spilled potions and the residue of the dry heaves when he had coughed them up had to add up to a nauseating smell he did not notice anymore. Cub did not flinch. He always was very adept at keeping it together.

“Scar,” he said, “I’m sure there is something I can do to help you. We can think of something together, I’m certain of it. Something that is at least a little bit better than dying alone again and again.”

“I’m not just dying,” Scar scoffed. “I’m thinking. I’m a good planner, you know. I make the best plans.” He had not counted the days, or the deaths, but there had been many, and he still had not figured out a way to survive in any meaningful capacity without the Vex.

“You do, you do.” Even when Cub just nodded along he sounded so sincere. “I don’t doubt it.”

“I’ll figure out something eventually.”

“Let me help. I’m here on behalf of everybody, actually, we all care for you, Scar, and we want you back—but I’m also here for me, since I missed you. I love you. Let me stay with you and do what I can.”

They never had me, Scar thought. They had a puppet of the Vex wearing his face under a mask, but it was never him. What they wanted back did not exist. “Cub, you are my closest friend and I appreciate the sentiment, I really do, it’s worth the world, but I don’t think—”

“No.” It was very rare for Cub to interrupt, rarer still for him to do it so bluntly. “I believe you didn’t hear me there. I love you.”

“You…” Scar could suddenly feel his own heartbeat. He only ever paid attention to it when he was about to suffocate. “Do you mean it, like, in the way that…”

“Yes.”

A tingle ran down Scar’s arms and down his back. His fingers felt numb. “I…” No, that would not do; he could not freeze again, he could not take another disaster and another unspoken hurt. Play it light, that was the safest way. “No, Cub, that feels unfair! You can’t just catch a man on his deathbed—chair—and proceed to profess your love. That is too tragic.”

“You will revive.” Cub was kind, but also ruthless when necessary. “Look. I don’t mean to tear open any painful memories, but I trust you can handle this: I told you how I felt when the Vex tricked us. There was no deception in what I said, and all of it is still true.” He noted the skeptical rise of Scar’s brow. “All of it. You know how I feel, and you also know I have never expected you to reciprocate.” There was almost a challenging tint to Cub’s voice, now. Scar could do nothing but nod. “The only reason I’m bringing this up again is to guilt you. It is to manipulate you into letting me help for nothing but my own benefit. It is important to me, personally, that I can, and I know you won’t ignore it.”

Scar was stunned into silence. There were jokes he could have made. Jokes, dismissals, excuses. What Cub was offering was reasonable enough: He had made bonds, and it was unkind of him to push everybody away without giving them a chance to witness for themselves how deep his misery ran. It was cowardice, and Scar should have been braver than that, after everything he had been through. He might not believe it would do any good, but he should accept help. 

Yes. He could say yes. Cub was manipulating him, after all. He could not be held responsible.

He had died and died and been adamant at doing it alone because in some ways, dying was preferable to being dependent on other peoples’ charity and patience. Both of those had limits. But he wanted Cub to hold his hand again and he wanted to think of something other than the next breath and he wanted—

He could accept help. Accepting love was a different matter entirely.

It was still tainted by the Vex. It was wrapped in magic and lust and dependency, and Scar could not untangle all that before he had to give some kind of an answer. He had even not been able to untangle it in the countless sleepless nights in between the incident and now. But he had to say something, and say it clearly. He could not bear to experience another hurt in Cub’s eyes and in his own chest.

He took as deep a breath as he was able. “I love you too, Cub,” he said.

There was disbelief on Cub’s face, and some other emotions, too complex and too fast gone to name. “Do you? Trust me, I would not reject it, but there is no obligation whatsoever.”

Scar felt like he was falling, even though he was securely tied to his seat. He had done it. It had taken all the courage he had, but it still felt like cowardice. Too late to fret now. Commit to something, even if it breaks your heart. Commit to this.

“I do. I told you before, too. The Vex made me speak, but I also meant every word, all of it was true. I just—I wasn’t—I thought I would get hurt, or disappoint you, and I realize it was very unfair, and I am sorry. So there you have it.” A small pause, for emphasis. “I love you, and I'm truly so sorry.”

“I did wonder.” Cub had closed his eyes. “I did.” After a few deep breaths he opened them again and looked straight at Scar. Careful, ever so careful he raised his hand and pressed it on top of Scar’s hand that was squeezing the armrest. Scar let his fingers relax. They had held hands countless times, for confidence and for comfort, sometimes when in mortal danger and sometimes with the flimsiest of excuses. Scar’s heart had always jumped at Cub’s touch. He regretted never showing it. Realistically, even if he had been honest with Cub from the start, they would still be here—but at least he would have had a chance to transform some of his dreams to memories. 

Scar reached for Cub’s other hand, and their fingers interlocked. He did not ask if Cub was sure, he did not attempt to explain the nature of his condition one more time, even though his mind tried to go there; he had chosen to trust his friend completely, and that meant also trusting that Cub could take care of his own heart. “I love you,” he whispered. And then, with a lower voice: “I want you.”

Cub was leaning closer. “Be careful with what you say, Scar,” he muttered. “I might take you for your word.”

“Please do.”

No further coaxing was needed. Cub kissed him. 

It started soft and gentle, but Scar had waited, they had both waited for so long that neither of them was able to keep it like that for long. The slow slide of lips became a crush, Scar took hold of Cub’s neck and pulled him closer, and Cub’s fingers wrapped around Scar’s wrist.

(Scar had good theoretical knowledge of kissing. He knew the motions, had practiced them, had gone through exhaustive mental exercises in his head multiple times when working alongside Cub, on the off chance he would be put on the spot, but all that effort proved useless, or rather, unnecessary. Kissing Cub came easy.)

Cub pulled away too soon. He closed his eyes again and attempted to steady his breath. Always the personal restraint.

“I liked that,” said Scar, panting, determined to see that restraint broken, like it had almost broken on the day the Vex had toyed with them for the last time. He wanted to hear the strain in Cub’s voice again, the need. “We should do it more.”

“Scar.” Cub was shaking his head slightly, but it was there, the need, in his almost-black eyes that were at the same time ruthless and kind.

“We should do everything.”

“Scar, there is no rush. I will stay with you. I will wait until—”

Scar put on his best wicked grin. “You would make a dying man wait? Come on now, Cub, that’s just rude.” He pulled his friend and partner closer again, their lips pressed together and the last of the fear was gone.

#goodtimeswithscar #cubfan135 #convex #cubscar #hermitshipping #slight medical horror #death with respawn #kissing #hermitcraft fanfic #kiescribbles #whoops I was in such a hurry to post that I did not proofread properly #edited now when it's too late #oh well I said it's a draft so #set somewhere between s5 and s6

[riality-check]

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

Steve wakes up early like he usually does. The sun is streaming through his window right into his eyes, his sheets are bunched at his waist, and Eddie is snoring way too close to his right ear.

Steve doesn’t move.

He glances at the clock. It’s early enough that Eddie would complain about the time even if he got a good amount of sleep last night. But he didn’t. Neither of them did, and Eddie had a panic attack on top of that, so he’s exhausted.

He deserves the sleep, so Steve lets him have it.

Steve, however, is still on a swimmer’s schedule even after two years of post-graduation life. He gets up and tries not to focus on last night.

They say nothing good happens after midnight, but nothing good happens before noon, either. Breakfast seems like a good first step, at least, before they sit down and talk.

Really talk, not huddle and cry on a hardwood floor.

Yeah. Steve needs food before they have that conversation.

He heads downstairs, where he sees Nancy sitting at the kitchen table, steaming cup of coffee in front of her.

Before he can say anything along the lines of “I thought you left” or “how did you figure out the coffeemaker, it took me two months to work the damn thing out,” Nancy points at the coffeemaker and says, “Yours should be done in about a minute. Light roast, right?”

“Yeah,” Steve says. His parents like dark roast. Despite both of them drinking it, that container is more full than the light roast. Steve’s gone through a container of his coffee since they last replaced theirs. He doesn’t even drink coffee all that often.

Sure enough, the coffeemaker finishes brewing, and Steve gingerly grabs his scorching mug and sits across from Nancy.

She still has her curlers in. He’d tease her for it if she didn’t look so exhausted.

He takes a peek into her mug. It’s half empty, but he can see that it’s dark.

“Dark roast, black?” he asks.

Nancy nods.

Nice to know some things haven’t changed since ‘83. Good that that coffee is getting used up.

“You know light roast has more caffeine, right?”

“I like the taste,” Nancy says. She takes a sip of it without grimacing, and Steve marvels at her.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop doing that, not really.

“I thought you left,” he says instead.

Nancy shrugs. “I was too tired to drive. My parents are out of town this weekend, anyway, and it’s not like Mike can use the car. I crashed on the couch. The blankets are in the wash right now.”

“I don’t care about the blankets,” Steve says. It’s true. They’re kind of ugly, too. Some gifts his great-aunt made for his parents’ wedding anniversary, he thinks. They’re warm though, and he likes that at least someone got some use out of them.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

Nancy stares at him, but Steve knows she isn’t really looking at him. She’s just thinking.

“I think so,” she says after a minute. “Or at least I will be in a little while.”

Steve nods.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“No,” Steve says instantly. “I need at least a day, I think.”

“Yeah,” Nancy says. She takes another sip of coffee. “Last night was a lot.”

Steve sighs. “Yeah. It was.”

He picks up the mug and when he registers it’s not hot enough to make him want to immediately drop it, takes a sip of his coffee. It’s bitter as anything, and that’s when he realizes he forgot to add-

“Milk and two sugars?” Nancy offers. She’s already up, having gotten the milk from the fridge, and now stands on her tiptoes, trying to reach the sugar bowl in the cabinet to the left of the stove.

“I got it.” Steve pushes himself out of his chair, but by the time he’s on his feet, Nancy has the sugar bowl in hand and is setting it, along with the milk and a spoon, on the table.

Steve is both surprised and not that she remembered where everything is.

He adds both to his coffee, stirs it with the spoon, and takes a sip to make sure it’s actually good this time.

It is. Milk and two sugars never fails.

Nancy finishes her coffee and rinses the mug out in the sink. Then, she turns back to Steve.

“Do you think,” she says, tugging at the sleeves of her shirt, “that talking to someone might help you, too?”

Out of all the questions Nancy could possibly ask him, that wasn’t even on Steve’s radar.

He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t think about it. After everything, especially Starcourt, Steve knew he wasn’t quite all right. People who are okay don’t have nightmares that often, or get way too on edge because of flickering lights or Russian.

But that always seemed like a leap he couldn’t quite take. Therapy is for people who really aren’t okay. It’s something that isn’t talked about, not just in polite company, but possibly ever.

Steve doesn’t know if he’s reached that point yet.

But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t think about it.

He doesn’t voice any of this. He just takes a sip of his coffee. Swallows.

Says, “That really seemed to scare Eddie. When I brought it up.”

Nancy sits back down at the table. “Yeah. I’m surprised he didn’t go off more since he was already on edge.”

Oh. So she knew. And Steve didn’t.

“I don’t think you can be too mad about that,” Nancy says, and that’s when Steve realizes he was frowning. “You’d tell Robin something like that before you’d tell Eddie.”

Steve opens his mouth to reply, and, when he finds that he really can’t argue with that, closes it again.

“You could try asking him about it, though,” Nancy says. “He might tell you. I won’t, since it’s not my story, but he might tell you.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“Well, if it were me, I would press,” Nancy says. “But you’re not me, and that’s not the right thing to do, I don’t think. I think you just need to wait until he does.”

Steve nods. He��s not the world’s most patient person, but he thinks he can wait if it’s Eddie he’s waiting for.

“You didn’t answer my question, though,” Nancy says.

“What question?”

“Do you think talking to someone would help?”

Steve swallows and stays silent. He can feel Nancy’s eyes on him. He knows she’s not doing it on purpose, that she can’t shut off that intense stare of hers, but it makes him feel like a bug underneath a microscope anyway.

“How about this?” Nancy says after the silence stretches too thin. “How about we tell each other?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, we tell each other if it gets bad. We have to tell the other two, not just one other person.”

“What about Robin?” Steve says.

“Her too,” Nancy replies instantly. She isn’t brushing him off. Steve can tell that she means it, that she might even feel a little bit bad for not including her in the first place.

“We tell the other three,” Nancy says, “if it gets bad. That way, we share the load better. And it’s less scary.”

It is less scary. Steve knows Robin better than he knows anyone on the planet, is learning more about Eddie every day, and used to be able to read Nancy’s mind.

He wonders if he’ll be able to get there again with her. He hopes so. Really, he does.

“I think that could work,” he says.

The smallest of grins appears on Nancy’s face. “It’s less expensive, too. For Eddie and Robin.”

Steve is a little embarrassed that he didn’t think about that factor.

“We have to be honest, though,” he says. “No bullshit.”

“No bullshit,” Nancy agrees. Then, she adds, “You were never bullshit. By the way.”

Steve nods. Smiles. Downs the rest of his coffee and stands up.

“Thanks, Nance,” he says.

“I should have said it before.”

“Maybe. I’m just happy you said it all. You didn’t have to.”

Nancy frowns at the floor. “No, I did.”

Steve doesn’t like the look on her face, so he changes the subject. “I’m gonna start up breakfast.”

“Eddie’s gonna want-”

“Pancakes with sprinkles,” the two of them say in unison.

Nancy grins, and it’s less shy, this time. “He steals all my candy, you know.”

“You don’t like most candy,” Steve points out. He walks over to the pantry and pulls out the box mix and sprinkles.

Nancy keeps smiling and just shrugs.

“Eggos, still?” Steve asks. 

He turns around and sees that Nancy already has the freezer door open and the box in hand. He hears Eddie’s footsteps come down the stairs. He remembers that Robin is gonna come over in a few hours for their weekly “bridge and bitch” afternoon.

Yeah. He thinks they might be okay.

ao3 link

tag list:  @ashwagandalf @novelnovella @ladyapplejackdnd @silentiumdelirium @resident-gay-bitch @brassreign @starrystevie @henderdads @greyhoundsgirl @thegingerrapunzel @seths-rogens @questionablequeeries @miss-hit @edmunsn @readbythestarlight @scooby-dum86 @deehellcat @missarte-beltane @theysherobinbuckley @tillystealeaves @mercrx @nightmareglitter 

#ria writes #smin au #part six of six #we're done!! #angst with a happy ending #thank you all for sticking with me through this madness #i'm planning on revising it all #and throwing it on ao3 #sometime soon #so keep an eye out for that!! #real tags now #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #platonic stancy #platonic eddie munson and nancy wheeler #steddie ficlet #stranger things #stranger things ficlet #st #st ficlet

[welldressedandfandolobsesed]

Barry getting jealous over Sofia and Rafe and going to stake his claim

Still pretty new at the whole smut thing so be gracious

Barry had watched as Rafe stalked back off toward Sofia. He wouldn't admit it publically, but there was a reason he decided to have that conversation with Rafe then instead of later. He was secretly hoping it would distract him enough to leave Sofia hanging. But, he was never one to side with luck. Now, he was sitting in his uncomfy bed staring at the ceiling, the lingering image of Rafe curled up beside Sophia playing over and over in his head. He decided he had enough.

Before Barry knew what he was thinking he was parking his bike outside of Tannyhill. The early hour had left the house quiet, despite the party the night before. He stomped through the damp yard before he eventually got to the door. He walked right in, not bothering knocking. It had been a long time since Rafe had given him the same courtesy, no reason to return what wasn’t given. He stepped over crushed solo cups and empty beer bottles, no real destination in mind. It’s not like he could barge into his man’s room demanding he leave the girl lying next to him. The answer to his problem was solved however when a voice cleared his thoughts.

“Barry? What the hell are you doing here man?”

“Didn’t expect you to be awake. Thought you would be snuggled up right with that pretty little brunette right now?”

“I…I couldn’t sleep. But, that still doesn’t answer my question.”

“Same.”

“You couldn’t sleep so you drove all the way up to Tannyhill?”

“Maybe I just missed that pretty face of yours?”

“Oh my god!”

“What?”

“Your jealous.”

“Whicha going on bout, country club.”

“Don’t try to hide it. You came back because you couldn’t stand me going to bed with another girl. Barry, I don’t know what you expected. I wasn’t about to come crawling back to your dick after you left me to the cops.”

“Except, I think that’s exactly what you want to do. Because no matter how many girls you chase it’ll never satisfy your need to be fucked into a mattress hard enough to forget your name,” Barry smirked, all nerves suddenly washing off Barry.

He didn’t miss the way Rafe glanced downwards and then back at his lips. Barry licked them and stepped closer into the younger man’s space.

“And if your right?” Rafe said so quiet Barry would have missed it if he wasn’t standing so close.

“Then I’m more than happy to make it happen.”

At that moment Rafe leaned in; closing the gap between the two. The kiss was messy and rough and desperate and everything the two had missed. Barry shocked at the sudden eagerness took a few seconds to gather his thoughts before regaining control and pushing Rafe against the kitchen island.

Rafe let out a moan in response to the suddenly roughness and Barry smiled into the kiss.

“Condom’s in my back pocket, you know what to do.”

And Rafe did, because he had done it too many times before. Before Barry knew it both his pants and boxers were on the floor, and Rafe was kneeling in front of him, his half-hard dick dangling in front of the younger’s face. The sight alone went straight caused Barry to shiver. It was a familiar position and his other head knew exactly what was about to come.

Rafe knew it too, and his hands trembled as he tried to open the plastic packaging. Barry was getting inpatient after several failed attempts his guided his hands over Rafe to help him. Barry slid the condom on himself. Before long Rafe found his hip bones digging into the counter as Barry pushed him in. Without warning Rafe felt Barry slip a finger into his hole. Slowly, Barry picked up a pace, moving in and out with ease. Then, he added another finger and then another. Each time picking up the pace.

“Barry, please,” Rafe begged after several long seconds of prepping.

“Hold on, Country Club you ain’t in charge here.”

That quieted Rafe down real quick. Instead, he went back to moving against Barry’s fingers a f a matching pace. Before long the presence of Barry’s fingers was gone and being replaced by his red member.

Rafe gasped his response. And slowly Barry continued his past pace. With every thrust Rafe could feel his hips digging into the count, sure to bruise tomorrow. But, he didn’t care because he could feel Barry breathing down his neck and his body on every inch of Rafe’s and it was perfection.

“Your doing so good, baby. Keep it up,” Barry coached him.

“I’m getting close.”

“I know baby, keep going.”

That paired with one last thrust from Barry sent Rafe over the edge, cum trickling down his leg and the counter. Barry followed not too far after.

It was hours later when Sofia came stumbling out of Rafe’s bedroom, her shoes in hand. She glanced around the living room trying to find the best way to escape when her eyes landed on tow bodies. She spotted a shaved blonde head tucked under strong arms that was clearly Rafe’s, but she didn’t know the other. She tilted her head and then it hit her. The drug dealer. The one that had pulled Rafe away when he went to show Sofia around. She did find it weird at first, and now she knows the reasoning behind it. She smiled, this was nothing more than a hook-up to her, but by the way those two were such at peace sleeping next to each other she could tell it was something more.

#rafebarry #rafe cameron #barry obx #sofia obx #smut

[captainderyn]

touching prompts #14. putting an arm around the other’s waist

Knitter!! Thank you for this, so sorry its taken me forever ;--; I had half of it written, then Life Happened, but now its finally clicked! And its angsty, special just for my favorite angst-machine-mutual <3

Spoilers, I suppose, for Corellia of the Imperial Agent storyline

Five/Roslynd

--

Five scrubbed his hands across his face, pressing his forehead into his palms as he tried to stretch the tension from his neck. His entire body was taut, drawn tight and ready to snap. Each hour that ticked by on his chrono, with him twisted like a pretzel in his desk chair, didn't help. Nor did the words that kept him tethered to the data terminal.

The only thing that had changed was the time, each minute crawling by agonizingly slow.

He dragged his hands from his face and through his hair instead, tugging on the strands and level an exhausted glare at his screen.

Agent [REDACTED], [REDACTED]  Designation: Cipher Nine Last Known Location: Corellia, [UNKNOWN], Timestamp: 16:35 Dromund Kaas Standard Time Status: Missing In Action  Notes: Cipher Nine failed to report in at scheduled time to supervisor. Reports from war zone indicates possibility of agent being compromised. 

The anxiety had long since gone from sharp, stabbing jolts to his chest and gut to an ice-cold hum that froze him to his office. All he wanted to do was turn off his terminal, turn off everything, rewind before this tracker had pinged in his messages from Keeper.

But he couldn't.

It should've been him out there instead. That coiled serpent of anger still hissed and rattled inside his shelled out mind. That beast had been growing for years now, ever since the Minister had proposed the Star Cabal mission.

If he'd known this is where they would be, he never would've nominated Era as his top agent. If this was what giving her the recognition he thought she'd deserved, then he would've gladly faced her young, reckless ire and put her squarely in the middle of the pack.

Maybe if he'd done that, the then-Keeper would've reconsidered putting him forward on the mission.

He tugged harder on his hair, squeezing his eyes closed. His lids were gritty, heavy with lack of sleep. His body wanted to drift off, slip away. His mind wouldn't allow it.

With a soft whoosh, the door to his office slid open. He peeled an eye open, shoulders deflating, "You were supposed to be home hours ago."

Roslynd let the door slip closed behind her, enclosing them in the darkness of the office, lit only by the lightning strikes outside and gentle glow of the city, and the two lamps in either corner with their yellow glow.

"I could say the same to you." The heels of her uniform boots clicked against the floor, silencing when it met the carpet beneath his desk, "I figured you wouldn't be leaving anytime soon."

He'd stay here all night, keeping vigil, if Keeper would let him.

"There's still no word on her." The words came out raw, guttural. He cleared his throat.

Roslynd set down cups; he hadn't realized she'd brought coffee with her. The smell of his favorite late-night roasterie reached him, even if it roiled his stomach right now.

When she went to grab the second chair at the end of his desk he shook his head, pushing back his chair and holding out his arms. She paused and he gave her a single, pleading look. Her brows drew together, lips pressing thin.

But then she settled in his lap, her arms around his shoulders as one hand carded through the short hair at the back of his head. Perhaps, later, the paranoia about another agent seeing them like this would sneak in.

For now though, the blinds were drawn, and he needed her steady strength.

"Breathe, Val." Roslynd murmured, hand running up and down his back.

He drew in a shuddering breath, wrapping his arms tight around her middle and pressing his forehead against her shoulder, "I can't do this again."

Not one more ceremony with no body to bury. He couldn't handle the Minister handing him a velvet-padded box with another tile for the memorial wall, another name of one of his agents etched within.

Roslynd's hand paused, fingers clenching into his uniform, "I know."

Every time he lost another agent, a piece of him died too.

But this would be losing Rhys all over again. This would be worse.

His voice dropped low, cracking, "That's our daughter out there."

If he'd done his job right, he would've had a cold detachment from her like Intelligence preached. If he done his job right she never would be out there at all.

Of all the agents he could've failed so miserably, so completely, it had to be Nine. It had to be Era.

There were no words to say. Roslynd sniffled, but just continued the gentle motion of her hand. Five didn't want her to say anything, didn't want empty platitudes. Her presence was enough. The weight of her arms around him was enough.

When his terminal pinged with an alert, Five tightened his arms around Roslynd's waist, squeezing his eyes closed so hard that stars burst in the darkness.

"I don't want to read it." His voice shook, his stomach already dropping to the floor, "I don't want to open it, Ros."

For a long stretch, Roslynd was silent, but he knew, he knew from the way a tremor went through her entire body, the way her grip tightened so that it was almost suffocating.

"Val..." An exhalation, and she tried again, though Five was already shaking his head.

"No."

"An explosion was detected at a Corellia military museum."

A switch flipped somewhere in Roslynd, Five knew that distant, clipped voice. He squeezed his eyes even tighter closed against the burning.

"No."

"Agent designated Cipher...Cipher Nine's coordinates match those of the museum. Status updated to--" She heaved in a breath, "Status updated to killed in action."

A sanitized, cookie-cutter message that'd been sent to him dozens of times. Impersonal, clinical.

One he'd read over and over and over again.

But when he lifted his head from Roslynd's shoulders, clearing his vision, and saw the red mark on her file, saw Nine's picture from the day she'd pinned on as Cipher, defaced with an ugly red KIA...

His world shattered.

#captainderyn writes #swtor #swtor fanfic #imperial agent #short and painful :))) I am in spain without the s #oc: Era #oc: Five #oc: Roslynd #Five/Roslynd #ah yes chapter 3 of the agent storyline forever ruining me #yes all I can think about right now is the agent family no that's not a problem #hey dot idk if you'll read this tag but sorry in advance about rhys </3 #ever wanna see Five finally break down here it is my boy is Going Through The Horrors

[lexygod91]

Miles Morales Angst.

Summary:

honestly? this is just me ranting about an idea i got while listening to mitski. don't ask, i have no explanation, just my Miles Morales brainrot who loves angst.

A/N:

I've just had this idea in my head for a little while, rewatching the movies. I see many moments where my brain goes 'holy shit, that could seriously affect his mental health'. And so, here I am, to hurt my sweet little boy 'cause i love him and that's what we do with our favourite characters. I've just seen many moments in the movies where Miles is told that he has no control over his life, and that it's not his life and well. Here we are :)

Actually, half way in and this just turned into me projecting on Miles. Enjoy!!

Trigger Warnings:

Self-harm, detailed descriptions of self-harm and breakdowns, mentions of eating disorder, eating disorder, toxic positivity?

Miles couldn't point when it started. He guessed it was after Miguel's rant about him being an anomaly, but he wasn't sure. Hell, he was still in denial.

If he had to guess, it started after Miguel's rant about him being an anomaly. But in reality, it started way before that. It started when he was bitten, or maybe when he started going to Visions Academy. Forced.

It wasn't serious at first, just skipping a couple of meals each 3 months at most. It only happened when he was too inside his head. When he failed at saving or helping someone, when his parents scolded him for being irresponsible and selfish, when they made him feel like he couldn't control his own life...

Those days, he needed to know that he was able to have something under his control. And, well, skipping a meal or two did the work.

He once tried to avoid that. Instead of skipping dinner, he went to his bedroom and closed his door.

It had been a rough day, that one. He had started the day by missing Gwen. And Peter. And Noir, and Penni and Spider-Pork. Drawing them wasn't enough.

Later that day, his favourite grocery store was attacked. The one where the old woman with her cats was, always giving him sweet smiles and the best empanadas ever. He tried his best, he really did, and the people living in the building were fine! But the woman's cat died under the weight of the whole building. He was able to prevent the building from fully collapsing and destroying the ones around it, but the woman's cats... And her store.

How was she going to get her money now? Where were the people living there going to live? It had been his fault, if only he had noticed before that the bad guy was not trying to get him, but to make the building collapse then everyone would have been fine, they'd all have their apartments and belongings and a ceiling to sleep under.

And that woman, that sweet woman who would often insist on Miles getting free food (he would always deny it) was left alone, with no comfort. No cats to support her.

And so, he went home, late. His parents told him off, telling him that even if they were just family it wasn't an excuse to disrespect them like that. Miles yelled apologies at them, and told them he was tired. His parents calmed down after that, getting worried over him.

Miles had felt worst after that.

They asked him what was wrong but Miles didn't answer, so they all decided to have dinner and leave Miles alone.

Miles did not want to have dinner, but he also didn't want to start another discussion with his parents so, he sucked his wants and forced the food down his throat.

Once he was done, he cleaned the dishes and went straight to his room. He felt nauseous. He forced himself to not go to the bathroom.

He suffered for a couple of hours until he saw the cutter he used for his collages. He fought the urge to grab it, but his mind was too loud.

He kept thinking, and thinking, and thinking. How could he have let the building fall? Why didn't he tried more? Why did he feel so alone? Probably it was because he disappointed everybody. But he didn't do it on purpose, he tried, that had to be enought, right?

He got up and grabbed the cutter, sitting on his ghair. He hugged his legs against his chest as he placed his head on his knees, observing the cutter with one hand.

He slowly pulled up his sleeve and took out the cutter's blade, pressing it against his skin. His racing mind seemed to blur as the cold metal made contact against his soft, clear skin.

And as he softly pressed the blade against it, he felt the noise in his mind become a far white noise. Something he knew was there, but didn't feel the need to listen to.

It was refreshenig. It was ridiculous.

He wacthed his cut, but no blood was coming out of it. How could it not? He had cut it! Was he even bad at this? At hurting...

He had scoffed after that. Placing the cutter again on the table and rolling down his sleeve, feeling ridiculous. Why was he doing that? It was ridiculous. There were people out there, truly suffering, and here he was. Making a fool of himself just for attention.

It was not the last time he did it, but it always left him feeling ridiculous.

They were always light cuts that left no scars. That fact left him feeling worthless and useless.

But he wasn't in any way sick, seriously. He was happy! Sure he sometimes needed to calm his mind and to skip a meal to feel good but, he was happy. He would play videogames with Ganke on his spare time, or pass time with his family, playing boardgames or Just Dance on Youtube because the new Just Dance were crap, and he'd always laugh his soul out.

He had a good time. And a good life.

And then, Gwen showed up. God, he was delighted to see her! She found a way they could see each other again! It was amazing. And not only that, Peter was also there!

And sure the Spidersociety were a bit wary about him but he'd be fine, right?

Except, he hadn't. He was chased and yelled at for just existing. And, ok, he had cursed his existance more than once too but this was too much! There were like, what? Thousands of variants of him (well, not him, Spider-Man) chasing him. People who were supposed to understand him, people who were supposed to help him, people who were trying to stop him from saving his own fucking dad!

People he had disappointed once again.

He had outran them. He did. He got out, he was in his dimension. But fuck, did it leave him scarred.

He swung his way home as his mind got louder, and louder, yelling at him. Telling him all kind of things and he missed his cutter.

Once he arrived at his room, he picked on his skin and wrapped his fingers around his wrist, finding comfort in the thinnest of it. And then his mother came, and they talked, and he found out he wasn't in his universe.

Found out he didn't even know where he was from.

Found his uncle, found another version of himself and found out he didn't want to be anymore.

Found out he didn't want to exist anymore.

#spiderman atsv #miles molares #across the spider verse #atsv #miles morales angst #angst #self-harm #sh #eating disorder #ed #spiderman across the spiderverse #really angsty #projecting #self-projecting into Miles #i was thinking of making this part od a series #but im not sure #maybe as a oneshot its better

[dhanilyman]

His arguing with Keith, Scott being back and watching Daisy being so utterly enchanted by him... It was like he’d gone back in time. He couldn’t stop thinking of his and Daisy’s break up. Why she had stepped away from him, most of all. Scott. He couldn’t help but think of the awful place he was in that time. Warren had given him an room, which he was allowed nothing in except a uncovered mattress, and frequently locked in. But it was a step up from the cage at the end of Warren’s bed. Dhani tried not to think about the sounds he could hear from that room, Warren fucking someone, hurting someone Dhani often knew... and Dhani being able to do nothing about it. Unable to even fully tell who it was, trying to look for signs of abuse on his friends the next day to figure it out... To apologize. He hated himself for that. He hated himself more when he’d give in to Warren, beg and plead and would just get ignored anyway. When his back, or especially his leg with it’s old injury, would hurt so much he would promise Warren to be good, beg to be fucked just so he could sleep on Warren’s mattress, or the floor, and stretch out. Trade one pain for another, just to feel something different.

Dhani spotted Dominick from across the room, he’d know that smirk with his eyes closed. He thought of one of the Events from the past, where all the slave were turned into perfect submissive pets. How Dominick had taken him home and Dhani had failed to tell him Warren’s rules, just so happy to be with him. How Dhani had cried when Dominick had told him what a good boy he was, had praised him as much as he liked.... How badly Warren had beaten him for being a slut and breaking his rules, threatening to unclaim him for someone else. And how disinterested he’d been when Dhani had begged him. How scared he’d been....

Six of the worst months in his entire life. He had a shit December with Warren, being locked in the house all month. But that January was worse. And he’d always hated January. Another year without Mom. Another year without Rafael. It seemed too cruel they’d both died (or left presumably to die, alone) in January. And then Daisy breaking up with him.

If Dominick had really been Rafael’s best friend... He should have claimed Dhani. So they could have gone with Rafael and finish his quest. And Dhani would have never been with Warren. Maybe Daisy never would have left him. Warren didn’t allow Dhani to be with other people, especially Daisy, sexually. Dhani had managed to work around that a little... but maybe that had contributed. He couldn’t help but think his December away from everyone had.

The storm raged outside and Dhani couldn’t help but think himself an utter moron for ever wanting Dominick to claim him. The more the storm brewed, the more dark thoughts came easier to Dhani... The more he forgot about how far the two of them had come. If Dominick had truly cared about either Rafael or Dhani, and by then Dhani had been convinced Dom did have some feeling for him, he would have claimed him. Instead he’d taken some vacation and acted surprised seeing Dhani bruised all to hell because of Warren. Before Dhani even realized, half a pint of beer in his hand, already quiet drunk, he was walking up to Dominick. Rage and hurt clear in his eyes. He had abandoned and lost the masquerade mask he and Daisy had picked out, hers being the exact duplicate. It was probably with his jacket, a sage green, over some chair of some table he’d long forgotten where.

“You could have saved me a hell of a lot of pain, you know that? Warren. Rafael dying alone. Even then, even if all you wanted from me was something for yourself by helping me, you could have had it. And the worst part is, I would have been fucking glad to give it to you. I would’ve been grateful. I don’t wanna be your best man, Dom. Because what have you done to deserve it? You just show up after the fact and lament on how sorry you were it happened. When the truth was, all along, you could have prevented it if you had really cared about me at all.”

@masterdominick​

#event: midsummer's eve #masterdominick #thread 28 #lament: dominick #DO NOT feel the need to match length LOL #There was a lot of set up

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Diverging Paths (5/31)

Summary: Xerxes falls and the only two survivors walk away from the dead city.

Homunculus is keen to make the most of the new human body he now wears, and he goes out into the world, still planning his ascension to godhood as he strips away his vices and turns them into homunculi.

Van Hohenheim believes he has become a monster, and he hides himself away, befriending the other abominations of the world, failed human transmutations doomed to agonising half-life without the intervention of a Philosopher’s Stone.

Years later, Homunculus meets Trisha Elric and sires two sons with her before vanishing into the night, whilst Hohenheim tries to foil his doppelgänger’s schemes.

Years after that, Edward and Alphonse Elric are caught up in the middle of it all…

A Father-Hohenheim role reversal switcheroo, following Mangahood’s main plot with elements of ‘03, based on the premise ‘what if Father was Ed and Al’s father and Hohenheim was the one hiding under Central?’

Rated: Teen

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[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [AO3]

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Five

As soon as the Elrics had rushed out of earshot, Mustang groaned, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. 

“I had hoped that conversation would go better,” he muttered. Hawkeye closed the office door again and came over to the desk.

“Sir, I really think you need to go home and get some sleep. I know how committed you are to finding Lieutenant Colonel Hughes’ attacker, but you’re no good to him running on empty.”

“I don’t need to sleep,” Mustang snapped. “Hughes is sleeping enough for both of us at the moment and I can’t rest until he wakes up.”

“Sir, it’s not your fault any more than it’s the Elrics’ fault. Neither you nor they are the ones that did this to him. I know you wanted to spare them the feeling of responsibility for what happened to Hughes, but that doesn’t mean that you have to take it upon yourself instead.”

Mustang sighed. “I know that in theory. It’s harder to put it into practice. If I could just find out what he knew…”

“I am sure he’ll be able to tell you that in time,” Hawkeye said. Her tone was gentle but firm, brooking no arguments, and Mustang knew that she was right.

To say that the last few weeks since Hughes’ attack had been frantic would be putting it mildly. The longer that he went without finding out who had stabbed and shot him, the longer that person was still running free and the more opportunity they had to come back and finish what they’d started. Lieutenant Abrams had done an admirable job of standing guard outside Hughes’ hospital room so far; in fact Mustang was beginning to think that he never went home, but he couldn’t be there all the time. And, of course, if as Armstrong had surmised, Hughes’ attacker was working within, or at least alongside, the military, then it would be as easy as anything for someone to turn up and relieve Abrams of his duty, only to slip in and finish off Hughes whilst he was so helpless and unable to defend himself. 

Truth be told, he still wasn’t entirely sure that he trusted Abrams, but the young lieutenant had volunteered himself for guard duty before the need for guard duty had been established - indeed, Mustang had arrived in Central to find out what was going on the morning after Hughes’ attack and had found Abrams standing outside the door, having received no orders to do so but taking it upon himself to be prepared anyway. 

(He said he didn’t mind the monotony. It got him out of doing paperwork.)

So far nothing had happened, and now that he and his team had moved to Central permanently, he could set up a much better protection detail, but the worry still remained. 

At length, Hawkeye left him alone, going back to her own duties, and Mustang stared down at the papers spread in front of him, not really seeing any of it when his mind was filled with military conspiracies and the like. How far up did this all go? Armstrong had said that the Fuhrer himself was the one who had warned Hughes and the Elrics away from their line of investigation. If it went all the way up to the top, if Bradley himself was involved in it… 

In the midst of all the hustle of Central Command, slap in the dead centre of Amestris’s most populous city, Mustang had never felt more alone. There were so few people that he could trust anymore, and he could already feel himself drowning in the depths of the quagmire that Hughes had unwittingly drawn him into. 

He checked his watch; he was due a lunch break and he might as well use it to go over to the hospital. The nurses were used to seeing him there by now, a regular fixture in Hughes’ room. They said that talking to coma patients helped them to recover, but they weren’t exactly good conversation partners, and what Mustang really needed were answers, answers that Hughes couldn’t give. 

Still. At least if he was unconscious then he wasn’t spilling secrets that the military did not want aired, so perhaps this state was simply buying Mustang more time to unravel all the mysteries.

Gracia and Elysia were just leaving as he arrived, and Gracia gave a tired sigh when she saw him. 

“When was the last time you slept, Roy?”

“I’m fine.”

“Burning yourself out isn’t going to help him, you know. You need to take care of yourself, Roy. The doctors are taking care of Maes, but there’s no one taking care of you.” Gracia smiled weakly. “I can appreciate all that you’re doing to try and work out who did this and why, but I don’t want you ending up in the bed next to him because you’ve collapsed from nervous exhaustion.”

“I know.”

“Maes will come back to us in his own time, Roy, and then he can tell you everything he knows, and together you’ll do what you do best, like you always do. Take care of yourself, and if you ever find yourself in need of a good meal, because I’ve heard Maes complain about the Central Command cafeteria food enough to know it’s terrible, then you know where to find us.”

“Thank you, Gracia.”

They said their goodbyes and Mustang went into Hughes’ room. He was just the same as he had been yesterday, and the day before that, and every single day since he had been attacked. Although the doctors were fairly optimistic, it was hard for Mustang to feel the same way when he saw his friend like this. 

He settled into the chair that Gracia had just vacated, resting his elbows on his knees and trying to make sense of everything again. He had no idea whom in the military he could trust anymore. Was it just Central Command’s top brass he was looking at here, or had things spread out across the entire nation? He shivered at the thought that Grumman might have been involved in anything nefarious whilst they’d still been out in the east. 

And now, on top of it all, the Elric brothers were back in town. He knew that it had been a pipe dream to try and keep this from them, not when they had got on pretty well with Hughes when they had been in Central and he had always looked out for them; they would want to know what had happened to him, and Hawkeye was right, it would have come out sooner or later and they would not thank him for treating them like children at this juncture. 

Still, they’d been through so much, it would have been nice not to have to add this to their already piled-high trauma. Not to mention the fact that now they were here and Scar was here. He really had been intending to get them a protection detail now that they were back in town, but that had been completely derailed by the news of Hughes’s condition. What with trying to keep an eye on Hughes and trying to keep an eye on Elrics, and not knowing whom he could trust outside of his own team and Armstrong’s direct subordinates, Mustang was running out of people whom he trusted to provide protection duties. All he could do was hope that Ed and Al would keep their heads down now that they knew Scar was back on the prowl. At least Scar worked alone, and if he didn’t know that the Elrics were back in town then they would be fairly safe from him. The military, though… That was harder to fathom, and far more dangerous. In the end, Scar was just one man, and he was just a man. The military could call upon hundreds of thousands of people if necessary, and with these inhuman creatures on side as well…

Mustang was vastly outnumbered. He’d been vastly outnumbered before, but this situation was very different to Ishval and he couldn’t just burn his way out of it. Not this time. This was going to require subtlety. 

He needed to know just how far this conspiracy had spread throughout the military, and he needed to know which of his superiors he could confide in.

Soon, he was going to have to try and infiltrate the generals. Not yet, though. For now, he wanted to keep an eye on the Elric brothers and make sure that they didn’t do anything that could get themselves killed.

X

“We’re going to get ourselves killed.”

Ed sighed. “It’s a risk that we’re going to have to take if we’re going to get anywhere with working out who the homunculi are and what they want.”

“The colonel specifically told us to lay low and not cause trouble!”

“Since when have we ever listened to what the colonel tells us?”

Even though Al’s expression didn’t change, Ed could tell that his brother was glaring at him. 

“Even if Scar doesn’t kill us and the homunculi don’t kill us and the colonel doesn’t kill us, you do know that Winry is definitely going to kill you when she finds out that you’re intentionally going to put yourself into a situation where your arm could potentially get blown to smithereens.”

Ed winced at the thought of his arm being smithereened for the second time in far too short a space of time. 

“We’ll make sure that doesn’t happen,” he said. “The homunculi will turn up before that happens, I’m sure of it.”

Al was clearly not convinced, as he continued. 

“And once she’s done killing you, she’ll then kill me for letting you do it, and once she’s done killing me, she’ll probably kill you again just to make sure.”

“Al, a little optimism here, please?” Ed pleaded. 

“No one’s going to get blown to smithereens,” Ling said. 

“You can say that, but you’ve never met Scar,” Al pointed out, before turning back to Ed. “And even if the homunculi do show up, it won’t exactly help us against Scar because these three will be distracting the homunculi!” He gestured towards Ling, Lan Fan and Fu, sitting on the windowsill where they had unceremoniously decided that they wanted to be a part of the homunculus capturing expedition.

Ed would admit that it was probably not the most thought through of plans, and it was definitely flying in the face of all the promises that they had made to various friends and family members that they would be careful in their ongoing quest. This was about as far away from careful as they could get, using one enemy to lure out another enemy, but if they wanted to learn more about the homunculi’s plans, then the only viable way to do that whilst still retaining the upper hand was to get one of them on the back foot. If they could time it right and force things into a Scar versus Homunculus free-for-all, then maybe they stood a chance, but right now, a hell of a lot had to be put down to sheer dumb luck. 

Still, fate had favoured them in the past, and who knew? Maybe the other mysterious friends would show up again and wade in, for better or worse. Maybe it would give Ed more of a clue of where everyone, the mysterious friends included, landed in this grand scheme of things, and whether or not they could be trusted to have his best interests at heart, or whether they were simply pursuing their own agenda that sometimes just so happened to align with saving his and Al’s skins.

There was a knock on the door, and Ed turned to Ling, Fu and Lan Fan, but they had already vanished out of the window, off to who knew where. They were really going to have to do something about them appearing and disappearing at will, and Ed considered locking the windows right now whilst they were still out there hanging on the outside of the building. That said, they were going to help them with capturing a homunculus for interrogation, so perhaps he should be charitable. Just this once.

Al opened the door, and Ed was surprised to see Lieutenant Hawkeye standing there. 

“Hello Lieutenant,” Al said. “What brings you here so late?”

“We’ve received some bad news, and I wanted to make sure that you heard it from me as soon as possible.” 

Ed felt his veins turn cold, and he could almost tell what Hawkeye was going to say as she said it. 

“I’m afraid that Lieutenant Colonel Hughes passed away earlier this afternoon.”

X

Considering that he was only fifteen, Ed felt that he’d been to way too many funerals in his life thus far. They were all the same. They were always cold, no matter what the weather. There was a chill in the air that seemed to emanate off the very mourners, and no one was paying any attention to what any of the people were saying in their speeches and eulogies. Ed just kept staring at the coffin as the earth was thrown over it, listening to Gracia crying, feeling Winry shaking where she’d grabbed his hand and wouldn’t let go. 

It wasn’t until the service was over and people were beginning to move away from the graveside that Ed noticed the group right at the edge of the cemetery, almost too far to make out facial features properly, but he recognised three of the four nonetheless. It was their Mysterious Friends from the fifth laboratory, and the pale-haired woman from Liore. The fourth he didn’t recognise and it was hard to make out her face with her hood up against the wind, but he startled as he focussed on her. 

She looked like Mom. 

“Al…” He patted Al’s arm to get his attention, but by the time he turned back, the mysterious woman had turned and was walking away from them with the other Mysterious Friends. Only the stranger from Eastern remained, looking at them with a certain degree of scrutiny before they too turned and followed the others further into the cemetery, no doubt heading towards the back gates at the other side of the site.

For a moment, Ed wanted to run after them, ask them what the hell they were doing at Hughes’ funeral in the first place, and what the hell they were doing in general in the second, and to see whether that fleeting glimpse of the woman who’d looked like Mom at first glance would be any different close up, but something stopped him. He still couldn’t decide if he wanted to meet them properly or not, even if they weren’t in a life or death situation like they had been all the other times. This was definitely a much calmer prospect, but at the same time, a cemetery really wasn’t the best place for a potential confrontation, and Ed didn’t want to think about how the conversation might go if it turned out that the Mysterious Friends weren’t quite as friendly as they seemed. As long as he never met them properly then the illusions would never be shattered, but at the same time, if they were going to be a threat then Ed wanted to know, even if they might not be the same kind of threat as the homunculi were right now. 

“Them again,” Al said. 

“Yeah.” Ed didn’t say anything about the woman who had looked like Mom, figuring that it would be best to keep that to himself. Maybe he’d been mistaken. He’d been thinking about Mom, after all, or more specifically thinking about her funeral. Maybe a wire had got crossed in his brain somewhere. He’d only seen her for a couple of seconds. 

It was getting late by the time they made it back to the hotel, Winry making her excuses and going straight into her room. Ed couldn’t blame her; it had been a bad day for all of them and he wasn’t exactly feeling sociable himself. Tactfully, Ling, Lan Fan and Fu had chosen not to break in to continue discussing their plans for drawing out the homunculi, but they had left a note telling the brothers to give them a sign when they were ready to proceed again. Ed lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling with a sigh. A part of him felt like it was pointless to think about these things now and it would be callous to start making plans again so soon after Hughes had died, but the rest of him couldn’t help but think about the promise that they had made to Gracia, that they wouldn’t give up and they wouldn’t let what happened to Hughes be in vain. 

If the homunculi had been involved in his attack somehow because he knew too much, then capturing one made even more sense; they could ask it what it knew about Hughes’ death and who had killed him, as well as what was going on with the Philosopher’s Stone and the fifth laboratory.

“What do you think?” Al was still looking at the note from their Xingese… Friends was pushing it. Acquaintances perhaps? “Do you think we ought to go ahead with the plan again?”

Ed gave a long sigh.

“Yes,” he said eventually. “Yes, I think we owe it to Hughes to find out exactly what happened, if nothing else. The colonel isn’t exactly making any headway by trying to find things out within the military. This might get us on the right track to learning what he’d found out, and once we know that…”

He didn’t really know what would happen after that. All he knew was that if it was important enough for someone to have killed Hughes for it, then it was something that was big enough to need to be found out and acted upon.

“Yes,” he repeated. “The plan goes ahead.”

X

“The Elrics are back in town.”

“Again? I still say they’re following us. Shall we take bets on how long it’ll take them to get into trouble again?”

“Don’t joke about things like that. You were the one who decided to keep an eye on them in the first place.”

“I know, and sometimes I regret that decision. All right. I suppose we shall just have to be on our guard.”

#FMA Brotherhood #FMA Fanfiction #Edward Elric #Alphonse Elric #Roy Mustang #Fic: Diverging Paths

[captainhysunstuff]

“I’ve never once considered finding that notebook and gaining this power a curse. In fact, it’s made me happier than I’ve ever been.”

“HY-HYUK?! Wh-whatever! It’s not like I chose you or anything! 😳”

Got a bit carried away with this. Light showing Ryuk some grateful affection~.

#drawn by me #my fanart #Death Note #Light Yagami #Ryuk #ryuk x light #apples #shinigami #tw: food issues #I know everyone loves his turtleneck but I'm a fan of his pink shirt~ #and I color vomited all over this. I apologize to any eyeballs that see this. #why's Light's room so... green? interesting choice~ #colored with permanent markers and Tombows #did this instead of sleeping; tried to sleep when half done but failed to close my eyes so...

[deja-vux]

Dad!SuperM:First Babysitting Duties

A/N: The baby fever continues with this little number here hope ya’ll enjoy. :)

Byun Baekhyun

      Baekhyun was attempting to put his son down for a nap while babysitting. Unfortunately for him, it was taking a little longer than expected. He had done everything just like Y/N. He had bathed his son, made a nice warm bottle, and even rocked him till his eyes closed and good 5 minutes after for good measure. All was perfect until he tried to lay his son in the crib. As soon as Minjun’s head hit the mattress he began to cry causing Baekhyun to panic. He picked up his son, beginning to bounce him gently till he calmed to a sleeping state again. Once he did he attempted again to lay him down. Once again as soon as Baekhyun pulled away Minjun cried wailing causing him to be carried again. One final turn to lull the little one. This time though instead of laying him on his crib he decided to lay him on his and Y/N’s shared bed hoping it would help. Unfortunately to no avail, it didn’t. Worried he picked up his son walking around the house as he attempted to put the little one to sleep. Half an hour later Baekhyun had given up trying to put him down. By the time his wife arrived home, she found her two boys on their bed with Baekhyun holding Minjun against his chest, the both of them asleep.

Lee Taemin

      Taemin was on babysitting duty as work was making you stay late for an upcoming event. Despite your hesitation, he insisted he’d be fine on his own having helped you watch your daughter all the time. Little did he realize how energetic your little girl had gotten since he left for tour. He soon found out though when he tried to get her into bed early. It was 8 pm, she had taken her bath, eaten her dinner, and even got to play princess tea party with her dad but after their fourth round of tea, Taemin realized it was getting late. He stood up, swooping her into his arms, attacking her face with kisses as he walked to her room holding onto her tight as she squealed with laughter. He finished by swooping her down into her bed before pulling the covers over her. As he turned to grab her storybook he failed to hear her slip out of bed running back towards the living room. He turned in shock to find her bed empty. He headed out of her room calling for her, “Jiwoo? Where’d you go it’s time to go to sleep,” he said looking down the hall following the sound of her giggles.

“I’m not tired,” she sang before the small pattering of her feet could be heard.

“We have to get you to bed before mommy gets home or she’ll be upset” he teased.

He was met with silence as he peered behind the couch and under the dining room table eventually seeing the top of her head through the window of her playhouse. “Well I guess we won’t be able to have a bedtime story since I can’t find you,” he sighed as he leaned on the roof of the playhouse.

“No Daddy I’m right here,” she said stepping out, “But you still have to catch me,” she said before slipping off running.

      Taemin mentally facepalmed himself before running after her. Minutes seemed like forever as he failed at any attempt to catch her. Eventually, he caught and made sure she didn't run off this time he laid with her in her bed as he read her bedtime story, the both of them falling asleep before they could finish the book. Taemin woke up to Y/N shaking him softly awake before gently brushing some hair out of his face. He groaned softly in response as she suggested they go to their own bed. He then untangled himself from his daughter's tiny limbs, covering her once again before heading to his own room to cuddle up to his wife.

Kai(Kim Jongin)

      Kai entered his home with Sungchan on his hip before setting the toddler down to run amongst their home. As he ran to play with his toys Kai set the child's backpack on its hanger before heading to the kitchen to start on dinner. As their meal slowly came together Suncgchan would occasionally pop his head into the kitchen ignoring his father’s greeting and conversations in order to get a better look at dinner. As soon as Kai walked into the dining room calling his name the boy ran in before turning around to run back out. “Oh no you don’t,” Kai said as he swooped Sungchan into his arms causing the child to squeal. He proceeded to sit with his son in his lap. As the boy surrendered to his new confinement Kai fixed his plate before beginning to eat. When he saw the boy wouldn’t budge to eat he raised an eyebrow shaking his head softly. He attempted to feed the boy only to have him pull away. “What would mom think if she found out that you didn’t like her favorite food?” Kai said teasingly. This caused Sungchan to panic. “No, don't tell her. I wike her favowite foods too,” Sungchan whined before reaching for the food in Kai’s hand which he teasingly pulled away. This caused the boy to attempt to reach over and under his father’s arm before climbing on his back and wrapping his arms around his neck. “Fine you got me,” Kai said, putting his hands up in surrender before putting the piece of food in Sungchan’s mouth. As they finished their meal their Kai could see his son dozing off on his back. He turned to find the boy fully asleep still chewing his food. He chuckled to himself softly before setting his chopstick down. “Here I'll take him to bed,” Y/N said softly, startling Kai.

“How long have you been home?” he asked, not having heard her come in.

“Came in when our son decided to be a wrestler and put you in a chokehold,” she joked as she picked him up off of Kai’s back.

“I’ll get your plate ready while you get settled then,” he smiled, getting up to peck her lips, “I’ll even feed you too if you want,” he teased earning him a playful slap to the arm.

Lee Taeyong

“But mommy you promised you’d go,” Yuna whined.

“I know love but I have a very important project for work that I have to present today. I can try to make it but if I do I’ll be late,” Y/N explained to the upset toddler.

      As Y/N explained to their daughter why this year’s bring your parent to work day was going to be missed, Taeyong stepped outside to make a phone call. Taeyong said goodbye to his girls as they parted ways in the parking lot, both of them leaving home to start their days. As it was Yuna’s turn to present her parents project she stood at the front of the class nervous to speak in front of the other kids and their parents until she saw a familiar pair of men walk into her class attempting to all sit at her table despite there only being 1 extra chair for the 2 of them. As she finished she pointed to her dad and Uncle Johnny explaining their job and how they balance their job and take care of her. As the class cheered she walked back to her table giving her dad and uncle tight hugs before taking a seat on her father’s lap to watch the other presentations. When arts and crafts rolled around they suited up with aprons to help the children along with the other parents. As Taeyong cut paper he felt Yuna play with his hair. “My daddy’s hair is white right now but he likes to change it to different colors like blue and pink,” he heard her explain to the other kids causing him to chuckle softly as the other kids oohed and awed. What he didn’t expect was for his wife to show up as well, keeping true to her promise made earlier as he knew how important this meeting was for her. “It’s pretty soft too,” Y/N commented as the kids began to ask questions.

“Mommy you made it,” Yuna ran to hug her mother as Taeyong got up looking at her in adoration.

“Glad you could make it, how'd the meeting go?” Taeyong said, offering her a hug as well.

“Amazing we got the promotion,” Y/N beamed, “So that means more time for my 2 favorite people.”

“Yay!!!” Yuna cheered.

“Ok just act like I’m not here. It’s not like I didn’t pull through for my goddaughter or anything,” Johnny said pretending to be hurt.

“You’re here too?!” she replied surprised, “I think we can add Uncle Johnny to the list too,” she laughed.

“Come join the group hug,” Yuna said, dragging her uncle over.

Ten Lee

      As Y/N ran errands Ten was left at home with his daughter to babysit claiming he could 100% handle it. Although the first hour was a bit of a struggle consisting of him running around the house after a little girl covered in glitter, he managed to pop a quick bath for her and clean up any possible remnants before deciding to play restaurant with little Hana. He watched as the soon to be 5 year old came up to him pretending to take his order before walking over to her play kitchen to make his order. As she prepped his meal she took breaks in between to complete a check-up for Mr.Snuggles, sell a house to her barbies, and arrest Quackers for not sharing cake with the other stuffed animals during tea time. Deciding to tease her a bit, Ten called his daughter over, “Yes mister how can I help you?” Hana asked.

“I’ve been waiting for my food for a pretty long time. Is it almost ready?” he asked.

“The cook can’t be rushed, this is a 5-star restaurant,” she sassed back, learning it from her mom.

“Then I might have to take away a star. I’m so hungry I think I’m sick and might die,” he teased, pretending to cough.

“You can’t die here. I have magic food that can make you feel better,” she said before running to the play kitchen, “Here you go, drink this,” she said, giving him a play mug.

      She disappeared once again before bringing him a plate covered in fake food like spaghetti and bananas, a plate of pumpkin cake, and a soup of various vegetables and fruits. He pretended to eat the food in the order she asked as he gave her his honest review of the food. Last was the cake which he pretended to take a bite of. “Mmm, this is the best cake I’ve ever had. I’m beginning to feel better already,” he beamed. She nodded in satisfaction before bringing over his check. “Oh my goodness this is so expensive. Can I get a family discount?” he feigned over his five-dollar bill.

“Nope, magic food isn’t free. Only mommy and Mr.Snuggles get free food,” she stated.

“Can I share my discount with daddy?” Y/N asked as she set her things down.

“Let me ask the owner,” she said before going to Quackers who was in fake jail, “Owner says yes,” she nodded cleaning the table before going to greet her mom.

“Thanks, you saved me from financial ruin,” Ten joked as he stood up to help his wife with the groceries.

Lucas Wong

      Lucas was currently struggling with his two kids that missed their mother who was currently away on a business trip. The first days were easy as they had school and activities to distract them but today was Saturday and despite having a playdate and going out to eat at their favorite restaurant the kids only had one thing on their mind and that was their mother. Eventually, the twins began to fight over who their mom missed more. Not wanting them to fight any longer he put in his two cents. “Noo mommy misses me more because I’m her Superman,” he teased, causing the two to drop their argument.

“You’re not superman,” Sua responded.

“Yeah, you don’t have muscles like him,” Tae laughed, covering his mouth.

“Yes, I do, I'm super strong just like him,” He said flexing his arms, “Look you see. I can even call your mom with my superphone but only I can use it,” he said pretending to call their mom with his hand.

“You're lying,” Tae said, attempting to pull his father’s hand away.

“What’s that love, I’m your favorite superhero. I’m the strongest guy you’ve ever met,” he joked as they continued to try and stop him.

“You’re not the strongest,” Sua said, causing Lucas to hang up his fake phone.

“Yes, I am. Watch me carry the both of you at the same time,” he said before swooping the twins off their feet without warning.

      The children squealed as their father ran around the house. Only giggles and squeals being heard throughout their home the trio oblivious to the sound of Y/N coming home early to surprise them. It wasn’t till they zoomed back into the living room that they stopped dead in their tracks dropping everything to greet her. Of course, the twins had to ask the question that was plaguing them, “Is daddy your hero?” Sua asked.

“Of course he protected my favorite most valuable treasure,” she explained.

“What treasure?’ Tae asked.

“You guys of course,” she smiled, pinching their cheeks as they giggled.

Mark Lee

       When Mark found out he was on babysitting duty for Y/N’s birthday he took it as the perfect opportunity to do something special for her. As soon as he picked up Doyun from school the two of them went to the grocery store to pick out the ingredients. When they got home the pair worked hard in the kitchen to make her cake and meal. Unfortunately for Mark, a mix-up in dials caused their dinner to be burned and their cake to be undercooked. Although the cake was still salvageable the food was not. Mark pulled out the burnt food before getting the cake back into the oven for baking. As began to pull out cleaning ingredients for the second oven he called their favorite restaurant ordering takeout hoping it’d be here before she arrived. As he finished cleaning their mess Doyun helped  Mark get the takeout into nice plates before helping him get rid of the evidence so it’d look like they made it instead of ordering it. By the time she arrived everything had gone as planned, that was until they were cleaning up the dining area. As they did she found a crumpled piece of paper. She unfolded it, finding it to be the receipt from the restaurant they ordered from. Not minding, she decided to tease them a bit. “So all home-cooked huh?” she teased holding up the receipt to the 2 boys.

“It was all dad’s fault,” Doyun quickly pointed to Mark ratting him out.

“He helped me get rid of the evidence,” Mark retorted, causing Y/N to giggle.

“I kinda had a feeling,” she shrugged.

“How did you know?” Mark asked.

“It still smells a little burnt,” she joked, “But it’s okay I am thankful for the effort and appreciate the kind gesture.”

“So we’re not in trouble?” Doyun asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course not,” she laughed as they both pulled her into a hug.

Taglist:@a-soft-hornytiny @little-precious-baby @yeosangmystar @seojonneh @perfectlysane24

#byun baekhyun imagine #byun baekhyun x reader #byun baekhyun x y/n #lee taemin imagine #lee taemin x reader #lee taemin x y/n #kim jongin imagine #kim jongin x reader #kim jongin x y/n #lee taeyong imagines #lee taeyong x reader #lee taeyoung x y/n #ten lee imagine #ten lee x reader #ten lee x y/n #lucas wong x reader #lucas wong x y/n #lucas wong imagine #mark lee imagines #mark lee x reader #mark lee x y/n #baekhyun imagine #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun x y/n #taemin imagine #taemin x reader #taemin x y/n #taeyong imagines #taeyoung x reader #taeyoung x y/n

[kakubun]

itching hands

pairings: bonten x chubby!reader

a/n: this was supposed be for december but i'm impatient🕴

warnings: suggestive, bonten

life with bonten series

• × • × • × • × • × • × • × • × • × • ו × • × • × • × • ×

these men will bark at you if you ever had the time to be insecure about yourself

hold on tight to your seat cause i'm sure these executives won't let you

especially these easter egg mfs, you never know what's in each of these peoples' minds

sanzu

he lets a lot of things slip from his mind and specially his comments about you

he ranges from thirsty to intense staring at any part of your body where if i say so, it's gonna be a lot more pg

eventhough he's weirdly obsessive of how you look, he means good! it's just that his lameo ass can't say or spell it out to you without sounding like a pervert

he enters your apartment in search of any of the haitani brothers to pick up their report on the last mission and maybe you so he could easily find the two since they always muted their phones when busy.

at first, he wanted to reward himself with a little something since he did a little running around here and there, why not look into your fridge? he slowly opened it because of instinct and almost fell on his knees when he saw sweet cakes topped with icing. he reached out to it as if it's begging for him to just eat it up and he drooled with how soft it looked but a grab to his wrist startled him when he looked at the person in alarm, a quirk of your eyebrows immediately lead him to explain what he's here for.

"uh searching for haitani- by the way can i eat that-" you wiped his drool that ran down his chin with a tissue hastily, in full exaggeration the bright pink haired man is an absolute sweet tooth. he finally let his eyes set on you and he looked comedic with his wide eyes when he looked down at your soft thighs in the comfy shorts you wore.

you ignored his staring and sighed, pointing to the label of the sweet cake which had rindou's name on it but you changed your mind due to said man pouting and took out the cake and peeled off the label, offering to sanzu who drooled again but he doesn't know what's his drooling for anymore (rindou can always order another cake anyways). you closed the fridge and stretched, moving into the living room to lay on the sofa.

he felt content with his dessert, all he needed was a place to sit and he just felt that the perfect place was between, between, man he couldn't help it but stare at plushiness of your thighs. he wanted to bite it.

"can i lay myself between your thighs?"

a silent staring contest was held maybe, if people were to walk in at the moment but with a smirk you patted yourself.

"go ahead darling"

after a while

"y/n did you ate my cake!?" rindou gruffly yelled out and he didn't know what did he just walked into, you brushing and massaging sanzu's head while he hums and kisses up your thighs with the empty plate near his feet and rindou massaged his temples to not drag the male between your thighs into a body bag.

but he failed so sorry sanzu.

ran walked in with an amused stare when sanzu haven't noticed them yet and y/n laughed to rindou who was starting to march up to sanzu to grab both his ankles.

ran lazily stumbled to the sofa with his legs spread while watching whatever the hell the two were doing when sanzu finally woke up from his fantasies, fly high sanzu🕊🕊

ran leaned in to whisper to you when you secretly recorded the fight, asking why you finally offered sanzu a place to lay when you didn't let him lay between when he asked you so many times. you looked over at him with your mischevious eyes and he knows damn well he needs to do more than just asking.

extra!!:

"WAAAHH Y/N THEY BULLIED ME !!" you don't if sanzu's faking his loud crying or not with tears begin to slip past his cheek when he pointed at the haitanis and rindou had no shame in admitting what he done when his older brother blinked in confusion.

you tried to hold in any chortles or laughter coming out because the pink boy had his worst when rindou bent his leg over his head while muttering how he should've killed sanzu from day one. you held out your arms and he immediately flopped you to the coach when he pushed and smothered into your scent.

the haitanis still don't why you adore that crazed man baby who likes killing people and making them confess their crimes, you said you found it really annoyingly cute that's why you had haru in your arms who nibbled on you like a baby.

just hope that the treatment with haru doesn't go on and on and you actually do something about it instead of kissing his tears away and cuddled with him.

kakucho

he feels disrespectful to how much staring he does to you on a daily basis

the way you walk, your hips popping and the curve of your hip dips makes him go crazy

he wonders if he could just hold onto your waist or just touch onto your hips, he might faint touching the roughness of your stretch marks as if he's been blessed by pure heaven

he's obsessed with how you present yourself to the others

if only he was a little more bolder, he could admire it closer if he just asked (?)

"have you taken an interest in y/n, kaku?" ran's eyes glanced at kakucho's hard staring at your crossed legs and he stopped, scoffing at ran's word but the older haitani had a plan up his sleeves.

y/n sat nearby kokonoi's table doing their own thing, looking like a sweet thing that had kakucho's glued on them that ran couldn't help pointing it out and it didn't help kakucho's poor heart when mikey suddenly interrupted the conversation.

"kakucho, please assist y/n on where's they want to go at the moment" it made kakucho perk up, startled by the sudden job of bodyguard and he looked back at ran who winked at him. no no no this isn't what he wanted, what was he planning?

it's annoying on how this puppy crush of his grew even more worse, your whole personality draws him towards you, making him feel like a kid again because of how nonchalant you are with him. he felt laidback being with you is like the calm after a storm with his work and shenanigans in bonten.

he watched from a distance when you looked over the things on your list, kakucho also gathered some of the things you wanted into a little basket and cancelling some out so you didn't have to get them anymore and you thanked him with your pretty smile.

he scanned the area around him and held himself back from punching when this one creepo think they're being sleak with how they kept eyeing you, kakucho either think he was a pick pocket or a flirt but he kept a good metres away from him to see what he was doing but he was ready to turn towards you if they got any closer.

you turned towards kakucho, waving your hand to come to you and he immediately went, feeling more pissed off towards the person creeping in on you slowly but he felt your rough palm on the skin of his wrist wrapping it around your waist. he unconsciously squeezed around you, pulling you close as he shot a nasty glare towards the person who backed off, seeing the intense look from the half blind which they didn't dare messing with.

you both walk away, heading towards the counter as you laughed behind the palm of you hand; still in position of kakucho tightly holding onto your waist where he panicked when he realized how hard he's latching onto you.

"hah~ you're so-"

still choking on your laughter, he akwardly shuffles to the side in embarassment and it added more fuel to the fire when he remembered how he held your waist and he excused himself before combusting in front of you and went away for a few seconds.

you have to say but you gotta thank ran for this plan, even if the creepo appeared out of nowhere, atleast you got to see how bonten nunber 3 reacts to his dream coming true~

kokonoi

he mostly admires you in silence and gets distracted if he ever talks to somebody

just his eyes trailing down every curve on your body and just daydreams about them (as in like cuddling pls)

the other executives would notice how his eyes are always on you in every meeting youre in and would tease him about it when you leave the room like ran would comment 'so thats where your head was this whole time hm?'

kokonoi love your pictures, he feels creepy stalking your pictures but he can't help but gush into the palm of his hand of your stunning you look, you make him faint whenever you had suprise pictures of you in dresses and he feel like his whole body is on fire.

ran taps the head of his pen to the temple of kokonoi's head and he slams his phone down and put on a poker face, it faltering when he clenched his teeth already knowing what's coming. ran sneered to how much of a simp he was and flicked the back of his head, pointing towards the door of his office; telling him any moment you're gonna come by and koko swats his hand away, knowing the haitani was just teasing him but his eyes nearly bulged out when you actually swung by.

all sleepy and dreamy like, his heart getting squeezed and the older haitani patting you towards koko who unexpectantly had you in your lap, your weight tapping him out of his daydreams as you hugged him tighter.

"my my, tired baby ain't ya?" he put on his proper poker face he got from the back of his desk, trying not to falter when you sleepily ranted on how work was terribly tiring and he patted your back shakily, not wanting to push you off due to extreme nervousness. he joked with you telling that he could just pay you easily if you work under him and you pushed his chest with your head bonk .

"ywou drhon just-mphm-hrmm" him heating up to how close with you works because he was the best heat warmer you could ask for, he felt bad for moving you to the coach but he just needed a comfortable position for you sleep in because you sitting on him? naaah, he's a puddle by the end of it.

the urge to take a picture was really strong so he took out his phone and angle his phone down to catch your drool slipping out of you and smiled feverishly to how dorky you looked.

koko felt like he could fuck up more of his feelings staring at your sleeping face, he rubbed his finger on your fat cheek you smooshed onto the coach and shifted a little in your sleep to adjust the blanket more closer to you. koko's touches were hesitant, didn't want to be a pervert when all he did was touch your soft cheek.

he wanted to just hold you close to his chest and have you against him but his prickling anxiety said otherwise, his awful thoughts and stubborness entertaining the shit out of him. you nearly give him a heart attack when one of your eyes open when he wanted to take his second picture and you latched onto his wrist. koko squawked and you couldn't help but burst out in guffaws to how panicked he looked when you caught him.

if anyone saw this scene, koko surely would die of embarassment and he'll dig his grave himself but unfortunely he will eventually when the blinking red of somebody's recording was capturing every moment of it.

haitani brothers

the duo who makes you nervous with their hard stares on you

these two are also pretty touchy so it's dangerous when they're handsy with one of your body parts

rindou are obsessed with your chubbiness, poking it just to see his finger bounce back; comedically

he loves being close with you because you're so squishy??? the type of guy who plays with your squishiness like you're a stress toy and holds himself back from biting

you're the greatest fridge or heat bag on the off days he haves, just wrapped up in blankets and you makes him sleep like a baby

as discussed earlier, ran wants to his head between your thighs; don't be suprised when one day he felt like he should get killed by them and you reject his acceptance towards death

he's a leg man and likes sleeping on your lap or kissing them or he just does anything with them (if you don't mind)

you just gotta remember these two are menaces right next to sanzu cause they'll bother you about it like forever if they can

after seeing the endless babying of sanzu, rindou turns to his brother who was lost in his thoughts and tapped his shoulder with the back of his hand. he lifted his eybrow, needing a response to how quiet he became and ran gave him a sly smile.

"you look at y/n like you wanna eat them up" ran shrugged, placing his elbow on rindou's shoulder as he slipped a comment on how he can eat y/n in other ways while rindou scrunched up in disgust. sanzu then emerged right next to rindou, telling them to give their report; damn well distracted when you started brushing and massaging his head a few moments ago.

rindou pointed towards the window, telling sanzu to fetch the files in his car while 'lightly' threatening him to buy another cake for him and the pink haired boy waved him off as if his threatening didn't give him flashbacks to how rindou almost squeezed his organs out of his ribcage when he looked at the empty plate.

when sanzu disappeared out of the house, rindou pulled you by the waist and onto his lap. squeezing your fat and kissing up your neck, he grazed a sweet spot but you swatted him telling him what's gotten into him. ran lay his head on your lap and looked like a satisfied brat when you look back at him then his brother all confused like.

rindou couldn't spare anymore time so he whispered in your ear, telling how much of a nuisance his older brother was and pleaded you to let him do what he wished to do. ran quirked his eyebrows, leaning up to kiss you while you teased him more by placing a finger on his lips.

"using your brother as a way to get me to do your thing instead of asking me in the nicest way? how cruel haitani, don't you know how torturous it is for your brother to put up with you?"

he smirks, knowing how much of a tease you were and feigned his sigh. rindou clamped his hands over this ears to not hear whatever the hell is this and tilted his head comfortably on your neck.

you shifted off rindou's lap, letting the man going after your sweet self place his head on your tummy as he happily shifts himself to a tiny nap to wait for sanzu to get back from whatever he got himself into because they could hear him shouting at the phone when he was unlocking the car door.

you looked over at rindou and placed a finger on your lips, smiling with your eyes closed when you don't want to disturb his sleeping brother in bliss.

ran just doesn't need to know rindou had his many turns sleeping with you this week compared to him~

mikey

he likes sleeping on you, his titled pillow he seeks for at the end of the day

he usually goes to you whenever he has a hard time sleeping and you try your best to advice him on how he should take care od his eyebags and weak body

he likes listening to your whispering before he goes to sleep so he asks you to talk more (command maybe)

"mikey..?"

"mph?"

"please i need to get up"

he uses your entire body as a pillow to swing his leg over ._. . from the very start, he makes you worried that you might've done or said something wrong to him but his thoughts were completely filled with how he can melt into you and be a handy pillow for him if he can't sleep easily.

to break the ice of what he thinks of you, you hummed quietly and awfully close to him on why he was staring at you but he completley dodges the question, rather he wants to show you why he's staring so he asks if he can touch you. he was uo close and personal on the first into with you but he didn't have bad intentions.. because afterwards you were legit cradling him.

sanzu was raising his eyebrows teasingly when their boss was sound asleep on your shoulder and you run your hands to his hair while glaring at sanzu to not make any noise. kakucho tried putting a straight face on but it's complelety leaving him when he heard his boss sleep talk.

he was babbling nonsense to you which you tried to reply to him but his mouth was jammed shut because there was some point where he got mad at you for not replying and sanzu was rolling on the floor and kakucho had to walk out to laugh with sanzu, dragging the pink hair out of the office. you cooed at him to relax instead of thrashing back and forth and he stopped, planting his face into your neck which makes you feel really tickled.

you're just grateful he's getting some sleep and you kissed him good night and a faint smile shows up on his face when you hugged him tight.

(and the other executives in the other room cracking up about mikey and you NSBJSBD)

akashi

he likes carrying you, stealing you away from the other executive when they're disturbing you

you can't feel insecure with this man because he was the dirtiest way with his words that he whispers to you that can turn any guy or girl red

he'll surely gouge out any prying eyes that mock or stare at you for too long

"why cat got your tongue?" your mouth agape when he was busy doing pushups on the mat and his back muscles flex even more when you came by, the smirk on his face didn't help making you flustered while you sat near him. panicking on the inside, he stopped for a water break and sat next to you.

you prayed to not shake so visibly becaue this hot ass man right now makes you lose all sense of human nature with how big he was, he placed his bottle down and shifted closer to you. bending down a little to arch his back to crack a little, he said he needed you on his back for his pushups. he can easily see the confusion you had on your face and he chuckled, getting up to begin and he usher you to start climbing on his back.

"cmonnn~ i'm strong, you're afraid i'll drop you?"

this man wanted a death wish but you think you'll die first because of how much of a tease he was, his back was kinda comfortable so you tugged on him like a koala, he called you needy and he says he's right you'll enjoy it. enjoy what exactly? too scared to ask this man because of the potential of a heart attack.

it becomes a daily thing to be honest, just having you on his back to flex off his strength that you were impressed that he didn't break and kept his composure. he held you close or carries you on his back cause he wants to, running away from the others who were fighting over you.he was a dangerous man because he could easily take your breath away with how secretive he is.

heck, i think he just did.

tag tag: @lucylicious , @turksueme , @haruchyio , @fyotituti , @coconois , @gyros-cum-sock , @ashrakat-lovesbaji , @dragon-chica

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokyo rev x reader #bonten x reader #bonten x you #bonten #bonten fluff #rain's bonten au #kakucho x reader #rindou x reader #ran x reader #haitani x reader #kokonoi x reader #mikey x reader #akashi x reader #sanzu x reader

[fett-djarin]

Stress Relief

Here it is! This is entirely self indulgent and filthy! Im a wh*re for the croissant guards

Also I headcanon Fox looking like how amikoroyoaiart draws him. her art is so good!

Commander Fox x f!reader

Crossposted on ao3

Rating: 18+

Length: 3.9k

Warnings/Tags: Oral (m receiving), that good sloppy toppy, office sex, cursing, light grinding, making out

NSFW BELOW THE CUT

Bringing the Guard their morning caf had become a tradition, of sorts. You knew the caf in the mess wasn’t good--in fact, it was barely even palatable. When you first started as a new secretary, it had been your timid way of offering friendship to the imposing troopers who worked so hard to keep the planet safe. They warmed to you quickly. Thire was the first to remove his helmet in front of you, plonking it down on your desk and taking a long pull of caf barely a second after you handed it to him. At your stunned look, he had just raised a brow and said, “Long patrol last night,” with a shrug.

As the others had become more comfortable with you, you had seen most of them without their buckets at some point--except for Fox. He always took his caf with a polite “Thank you, ma’am,” and retreated to his office. You knew it was against regulation for them to remove their helmets while they were on duty. But even when you dropped off the caf in his office, he was at his desk with his helmet on.

“He keeps it on so you can’t tell if he’s actually asleep,” Thorn told you one day. “I suspect he even does it while we’re standing guard sometimes.” You laughed aloud at that. The serious Commander Fox, asleep standing up. He was right though, you never would be able to tell.

The first time Fox removed his helmet in front of you, you hadn’t expected the gray dusting his temples, but honestly you weren’t surprised. The poor man was stressed beyond belief and worked half to death. You were more surprised that he finally did it in the first place. Fox sighed, running a hand through his unruly curls, before taking the caf and giving you a tired smile. He thanked you by name that time. You tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach.

From then on, he had been without it more when you went into his office. You even caught him sleeping once--head resting on his folded arms, bucket set next to him--and had done your best to deliver the caf without waking him. Maker knew he needed the sleep more than he needed hot caf--if Thorn hadn’t told you he snuck naps with the helmet on, you would think he ran off caf and stubborn will alone.

One morning, after you had passed out caf to the others--and a little cup of whipped cream for Grizzer--Fox hadn’t made an appearance, so you made your way to his office to drop it off. You knocked lightly on the door. “Come in,” his gruff voice called, and the door slid aside. You smiled at him, noting the way his shoulders visibly relaxed at seeing it was just you. You set the cup down on his desk. You had just turned when a touch on your wrist stopped you.

Fox was looking up at you, helmet cocked to the side. “You know you don’t have to bring us caf every time you work, right? The boys better not be nagging you for it.”

“I know,” you said. “I enjoy doing it. And it’s the least I could do.”

“The least you could do?”

“You all work so hard. You deserve more, even if it’s just better caf.”

He squeezed your wrist gently. “You don’t owe us anything. It is our duty to the Republic--”

“I know, Fox,” you tried to hide your grin, and failed. “But you’re also my friends.”

That seemed to surprise him, hand falling from your wrist as he sat back in his chair and regarded you curiously. You made your way back to the door, pausing in the entryway and looking back over your shoulder.

“Have a good morning, Commander.”

“...You as well, ma’am.”

The door slid shut behind you. Fox slipped his helmet off, setting it on his desk and staring hard at the door you had disappeared through. His eyes flicked to the paper cup of steaming caf, brows furrowed.

It was the first time you had called him by his name.

Friends?

----

After that day, Fox seemed to be trying to talk to you more. Instead of taking his caf and running off, he would stay, either to chat or just hang around for a minute with you and the other Guards. Stone nudged Thire, who nudged Thorn, and they all looked over to where Fox leaned his hip casually against your desk and you were laughing at something he said.

“Did someone replace Fox while we weren’t looking?” Thire questioned under his breath.

“I’ve never seen him so...cheery,” Stone said.

You smiled up at Fox, worrying your bottom lip with your teeth. They watched as your fingers grazed the back of his hand where it rested on your desk. “Think something’s goin’ on between those two?” Thorn asked, gesturing vaguely over towards you and Fox with his cup.

“Absolutely.” Thire didn’t hesitate to answer.

The three quickly snapped to attention as Fox excused himself, heading their direction. You gave them a small wave. Thorn was about to wave back before Thire thumped him in the arm.

“Don’t you have duties to attend to?” Fox grumbled as he passed them, heading to his office. “Get to it.” You hid your laugh behind your hand seeing the three Commanders scramble to disperse.

Evening rolled around, and you cocked your head side to side, stretching your neck and shoulders. You had been going over forms all day, datapad after datapad, organizing reports and requests for the Chancellor and the Senate. Your shift was almost over, and you were getting ready to go home for the night.

Various members of the Guard had come and gone, leaving and returning from patrols. Senators and representatives had filtered through; less and less as the evening progressed. You were just getting ready to leave when Fox stalked through, back from his rounds, tense and practically vibrating with irritation. He didn't even spare you a glance as he disappeared into his office. If the doors weren't automatic, he likely would have slammed it shut.

You knew he had a thankless job--a job he had no say in having, either. Usually it was something to do with the Chancellor that got him so worked up. Half the time you thought Fox would strangle the man himself if he could. Maybe you should take Fox out to one of the cafes nearby, just for a second to breathe and not carry the weight of the Guard on his shoulders. Was that against regulation? It might be better to invite him back to your apartment. Or did that imply too much?

You pushed yourself up from your chair, mind made up. He could always say no. You wouldn’t be offended.

You paused outside the door to his office, listening carefully. You couldn’t hear anything from the other side. So, you knocked.

“What.” Fox’s biting tone surprised you, but you didn’t take it personally.

“Commander? I...It’s me,” you said hesitantly, and then wanted to smack yourself. Confidence. “Is everything alright?”

No response. You took the silence as a sign that he wasn’t interested in talking. That was fine. You didn’t want to impose if he needed time to himself. The door slid open just as you had stepped back, intending to leave. Fox sighed, jerking his head to direct you inside.

The door shut behind you, and Fox sat heavily in his chair at the desk. Another deep sigh, and his shoulders slumped. He pulled his helmet off, setting it aside, and you caught a glimpse of the dark circles under his eyes before he put his head in his hands.

“Commander Fox?” You took a tentative step forward, so you were close enough to reach out and touch his shoulder.

He looked up at you. There was still tension lining his shoulders, hands flexing into fists and then relaxing. Stress. He opened his mouth to say something, frowned, and then closed it again. He cleared his throat. “Did you need something?” You could tell he was making an effort to soften his voice, likely as to not snap at you again.

“I just wanted to check in, sir,” you said, coming around the desk to stand next to him, leaning your weight against it. “It looked like something was bothering you.”

He waved his hand in the air vaguely, brows pinched. “You don’t have to call me ‘sir,’ you’re not one of my men.” He looked like he was debating saying more, so you waited patiently, quietly, hoping he recognized that you were here to listen if he so needed.

“As you likely know, there’s a gala coming up. Senators, politicians, ambassadors, Jedi….” Fox huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s going to be a security nightmare. And the Chancellor,” he spat, venom in his voice, “has been on my case about patrols and the Guard. Always demanding more. We’re spread too thin, and not getting the support we need--” he cut himself off. He was getting himself worked up again.

You placed your hand over his where it was clenched into a fist on the desk. It relaxed under your touch. Fox heaved another sigh mixed with a groan. “I’m behind on paperwork too,” he glared at the stack of datapads sitting to the side. “I don’t know where I’m supposed to find the time to do everything.”

“Hmm,” you reached over and picked up one of the datapads, skimming through it, hopping up so you were now sitting on the desk. It was just a patrol report that needed Fox’s signature before being filed. “What’s your CC number?”

“CC-1010,” he answered instantly, then regarded you with suspicion. “Why?”

You signed the bottom of the form: CC-1010, “Fox,” and submitted it.

“What are you doing?” his voice seemed to have kicked up an octave.

“Helping you with your work. I deal with paperwork and holoforms all the time,” you said, picking up another datapad and scanning through the information. “Most of the time it’s to make sure there’s a document trail. Most of these probably don’t need an in-depth review, they’re not important. They just go in the archives and are never looked at again.”

“I--you--that’s illegal,” he sputtered. But he seemed more surprised than serious.

You raised a brow at him, signing his designation and name once again before submitting the next form. “Are you going to arrest me?”

“No,” he didn’t hesitate. Interesting. Then he had a thought. “Your handwriting doesn’t even look like mine.”

“Doesn’t it?” you showed him where you had signed. It was almost identical to his scrawling script. His eyes flicked between the form and your face, incredulity on his features.

“How…?”

You shrugged. “It’s something I’ve always been good at. Saved me a lot of trouble as a kid when I needed my parents to sign for something at school. Especially when it was a disciplinary note.” Fox barked a disbelieving laugh at that and you couldn’t help your sly smile. “Even if I didn’t mimic your signature, no one would notice. Or care. You could mark the lines with an X and it would go through; it’s only the acknowledgement they care about. You can even draw a loth-cat face and have that be in the archive forever as a signature.”

“Don’t you dare,” he threatened with a chuckle. “Some of these aren’t just patrol reports though. I actually have to read through the more important ones.”

You handed him a holopad as you picked up your third. “How’s this: we work on these together; if I find one that has important information or requires more than a signature, I’ll give it to you.”

He regarded you for a long moment, debating your offer. Some of the weight had lifted from his shoulders; he looked less tense, less overwhelmed, even less exhausted. Then he slowly nodded. “All right,” he said. “But you have to let me buy you coffee for once.”

“You don’t have to do that--”

“We’re friends. Right?”

That stopped you short. You did consider him and the other guards friends, but to hear him say that he also considered you one...it was nice. It made a pleasant warmth flutter in your stomach, and you couldn’t help your shy smile at his words. “Right,” you agreed. The soft upturn of his lips made your breath hitch. He looked so young when he smiled.

The two of you worked in companionable silence, steadily making your way through the stack of datapads. You had been correct--most of them were unimportant; standard reports and forms that required a signature purely for protocol. Every once in a while you handed one over to Fox for him to read through. Slowly, your free hands had crept together, and Fox hoped to the Maker that you didn’t notice how warm his cheeks had gotten. 

Your thumb rubbed soothing circles over the back of his hand, and he didn’t notice he was staring at the way your fingers moved rather than reading through the form you handed him until you cleared your throat. “Fox?” you asked quietly. His gaze landed on your lips. He wanted you to keep saying his name, he wanted to hear it again and again--

You brushed a stray curl back from his forehead. A tug on your arm had you stumbling forward off-balance, and you would have fallen if strong arms had not wrapped around you and pulled you into an armored chest. Heat rushed to your face at the new position you found yourself in: sat in Fox’s lap, his hand still entwined with yours.

Then he kissed you.

It was gentle, soft. His lips pressed to yours chastely, far more gently than you expected him to be, and you felt the datapad fall from your hand. The sharp clatter of it hitting the ground made Fox pull back, but then you grasped the back of his neck, twining your fingers in his curls, and pulled him back to your mouth. He tossed his own back on the desk with a groan as your lips met again.

You licked the seam of his lips, and he opened for you. Fox was content to let you lead. His hand gripped your hip, and he sighed into your kisses, melting from your affection. You don’t know how long the two of you stayed like that--tasting, breathing each other in, sharing languid kisses full of pent-up desire.

His wild curls were soft in your fingers, and he all but purred when you lightly scratched your nails along his scalp. The hard plastoid of his thigh plates was uncomfortable underneath you, and you shifted your hips slightly in an effort to find a more comfortable spot. The breath hissed out through Fox's teeth, and your face flushed with warmth realizing you had brushed against his codpiece. His fingers tightened on your hip and thigh, pulling you towards him, encouraging your hips to roll against him again.

It was an awkward angle, with you sitting with your legs thrown over his lap, but from the hitch in Fox’s breathing it was doing something for him. You hummed into his mouth before pushing yourself up, holding onto his broad shoulders for support as you swung one leg over so you were now straddling him, chest to chest.

“Better?” he rumbled, nipping your bottom lip before soothing the sting with his tongue. You squeaked as his palms cupped and squeezed your ass, tugging you closer. Both of you basked in each other's eager little breaths and soft noises, hungry and wanting for more.

"Mhmm." The new position allowed you to feel the firmness of Fox's codpiece against your center when you pressed your hips into his. Fox really appreciated the new position, with your tits against his chest and free access to grope your ass. He almost whined into your mouth at the steady slow grind you started against him.

You wanted to hear that noise again. An idea struck you. You wanted to taste him. One more deep kiss, then you shimmied back off his lap. Fox made a noise of protest and tried to pull you back to him, but you just grinned and shooed his hands away. The floor was cold on your knees as you settled between his spread legs.

“What are you--oh,” he cut off with a harsh breath as your deft fingers unclasped his codpiece and tossed it away. Immediately, your palm cupped the warm bulge at the front of his blacks. He shifted in his seat, and you noticed his cheeks and ears had flushed a shade darker. How cute.

“Commander,” you purred, slowly stroking him through the fabric.

“Y-yes, cyare?” His hands flexed at the arms of his chair. He was struggling to not reach out and pull you back on his lap. Normally so composed, Fox now looked wrecked with his lips slightly parted, kiss-swollen, and hair mussed.

“Will you let me suck your cock?”

Fox spluttered and fumbled at your bluntness. You bit your bottom lip, looking up at him from beneath your lashes, still slowly stroking him over his blacks. You could see him fighting with himself. Maker, he wanted it. He wanted to see your pretty lips wrapped around his length. But he also didn’t want you to feel like you had to--he also desperately wanted to pleasure you.

“Please?” you leaned forward and mouthed at his clothed erection, letting your spit soak the fabric. Your eyes locked with his, looking up at him with your best faux-innocent look, like you had no idea what you were doing to him. But Maker, you were hungry. You wanted him.

“Fuck,” the word sounded as if it had been punched out of him. His pupils were blown wide, black swallowing the rich brown of his irises. “Fuck, yes--”

You wasted no time in tugging the band of his blacks down. A shiver worked its way through him; seeing you on your knees in front of him was a dream--a dirty little fantasy he would never admit to. Many nights alone in his quarters or in the showers he had roughly fisted his cock to the thought of you in situations that were most definitely unprofessional, biting the back of his hand to keep his noises at bay. And now here you were, the sweet secretary, making his dreams become reality.

The sliver of warm skin revealed to you made you instantly want more, and you couldn’t stop from pressing a light kiss to his hip. Then you eased his leaking cock from his blacks. Fox hissed in a breath through his teeth as your hand loosely wrapped around him, pumping his length slowly. The precum that dribbled from the tip slicked your grip. He was thick and firm in your hand, like velvet-wrapped durasteel.

The first stroke of your tongue against his cock made him curse. You licked slowly, working your way from tip to base and back, tracing the pulsing vein that ran along the underside. Taking the head of his cock in your mouth, you tasted the salty tang of the precum that leaked from him. When you hummed around him, his hand shot to your hair, fingers winding through the strands. He didn’t push you down or pull you away; instead, he merely just...held on.

Fox’s breathing kicked up watching you worship his cock with your tongue and hands. You enjoyed watching him try to hold himself together, slowly making him fall apart piece by piece. Your head bobbed up and down his length, each time taking more of him. Your hand continued to pump and work the rest you hadn’t fit in your mouth. He breathed out a string of words in a language you didn’t understand, but from the tone it sounded like he was praising you.

All his little noises were making the heat coil in your core. Wetness pooled between your legs, and you clenched your thighs together for the slightest bit of relief. You closed your eyes to concentrate, focusing on the weight of his cock on your tongue, the heat of his body. You slowly took more of him in your mouth until you felt his tip bump the back of your throat. Breathe through your nose. Fighting off your gag reflex, you swallowed around him.

“Shit! Shit, mesh’la--” Fox cried out above you, feeling your throat constrict around his length. He tugged gently on your hair, and you pulled off him with a gasp. “Fuck, if you keep doing that I’m gonna cum in your mouth.” It was meant to be a warning, but he sounded too breathless for it to carry any weight.

“But Commander,” you looked up at him, enveloping the tip of his cock in the heat of your mouth and gently sucking. His thighs twitched under your hands, cock throbbing, and you pulled off with an obscene pop. “That’s the best part.”

You were messy, letting saliva drip from your mouth and down his cock. You sucked, licked, and kissed every inch of his length until it was sopping. When you ducked down to take his balls in your mouth, his breath hitched, hand tightening in your hair, and a low moan came from him.

“Gedet’ye, mesh’la, gedet’ye--” Fox choked out.

“Hm?” You pulled back, hand wrapped around his cock and continued to pump him tightly. You twisted your wrist when your hand brushed over his head. He was panting lightly, and looked deliciously wrecked.

“Gedet’ye,” he said again, “please.”

You smiled at him, and he felt his heart jump. You looked filthy, lipstick--Coruscant guard red?--smeared, lips and chin wet with spit. “I want you to cum in my mouth, Fox.” Then you brought your mouth back to his cock and sucked, laving your tongue over the sensitive head as one hand stroked the base. The other came up to cradle his balls, and he was done for.

Fox cursed up a storm in both Basic and Mando’a, nearly doubling over as his orgasm was wrenched out of him by your clever mouth. You kept your gaze connected with his, eyes hazy and half-lidded. Warm spurts of his release filled your mouth and you eagerly swallowed it down, milking his cock until he had nothing left. Subtly, you rubbed your thighs together, so turned on it nearly hurt. Seeing Fox fall apart for you stoked the fire of arousal in your core.

He had an arm thrown over his eyes as he slumped in his chair, chest heaving for breath. “Stars above, you’re going to kill me,” he said. You giggled, hands running soothing motions over his thigh plates, even though he couldn’t feel it through the plastoid. He looked boneless and sated, which was exactly your intention--well, part of your intention.

Then he was guiding you back up, cupping your cheek and kissing you hard. It was desperate, deep, filled with so much emotion that you couldn’t decipher it, you only knew that you felt the same. You moaned into his mouth. He broke the kiss, and you noticed the glint in his eye and his sly grin before he kissed you again, standing and guiding you back to sit on his desk.

“Now it’s my turn.”

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