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#did u know i experience anxiety over making fucking memes
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Ayesha Liveblogs Death Note
I’m watching this show specifically because of that text post that said, “Watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever” and he has killed two people in the first ten minutes
Though 2 be fair he’s killing people to save people so it’s a trolley problem kind of thing for now
“In fact I’ve been waiting for you... Ryuk” ok weird flex Light but u do u
“You’re the first one to use to this extent in five days” WAIT DID HE MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT A LIST OH MY GOD??
“So there isn’t a price to using Death Note?” said Light, as if killing people is just a normal thing that we all do
Fhkjfhfkjb Ryuk really went ‘u used the book so we’re friends now’ 
I was wondering why the book was in English, and I guess that makes sense British and American imperialism really Did That
“I can write down the names of criminals, and slowly reduce the number of evil people” uhhhh doesn’t u being a Book Murderer also make you a criminal Light
“Human lives shouldn’t be taken so lightly” bah dum tss
Also I guess that revelation lasted about thirty seconds for you huh
Update from 15 seconds later: Even less than that
“I would create a world of earnest, kind humans” really because I don’t think places that allow the death penalty are generally nicer societies 
It’s interesting that they use English in the classes and the notebook but the conversation at Interpol takes place in Japanese (despite the implied internationality and Ryuk’s aforementioned claim about English being most common) 
Huh I won’t lie I do think it’s confusing that the main characters are L and Light, which also starts with L
“I am justice” I mean if anything this show just proves that no one should be allowed to use the death penalty on apprehended suspects in criminal justice cases ever 
OH SHIT PLOT TWIST HIS DAD’S A COP (IT WAS IN THE TEXT POST I THINK BUT I FORGOT)
Wow this show is full of mind games already I guess I can see why like, crime show fans would dig it
“But I’m going to say this as your roommate” OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES KJHRGKJHKJHG
Interesting that someone is following Light specifically already
I mean not to poke too many holes in your plan Light but wouldn’t it clash with your plan to become God if you die at like 35 or smth 
“You’re already much more of a shinigami than they are” Ryuk said my friends are BORING I want to hang out with this MURDER TEEN
“I may not look it, but I’m pretty popular” Light is exactly the kind of guy who ends up in a true crime special where a bunch of people say he seemed like a nice, charismatic young man
Man this poor girl that Light brought on this date is going to be straight traumatized after this
I mean isn’t it MORE suspicious if someone dies around someone with direct ties to the police even if it’s not a heart attack
“You were indeed a brilliant FBI agent once, but now you’re my fiancée” kjhfkjhg WHAT FBI AGENTS CAN’T BE MARRIED 
“Once we have a family, you’ll be so busy that you’ll forget that you were an agent” I’m not a fan of Raye Penber 
What’s the point in killing Raye at all???? He told you he was part of a special investigation so clearly he’s not that suspicious of you
Light sure is bold to announce his Killing People Experiments in the middle of a busy sidewalk 
Incredible that consistently no one notices Light’s increasingly threatening declarations????
Fjkfkfhk these five cops finding out their Hail Mary is this strange little goblin man,,,, wow
This woman has really pushed Light to the brink just by giving a fake name, I admire her tenacity
Cops wearing fake IDs really did not age well oh boy
SERIOUSLY HOW DOES NO ONE EVER HEAR LIGHT SAYING SUSPICIOUS THINGS IN PUBLIC THOROUGHFARES HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I AM KIRA” AS A DETECTIVE WALKED BY, WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE HE KILLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER
Wow it really took only eight episodes for L to track Light as close as one of two families
“You have a wife and daughter, right?” “I know!” I mean..... not 2 be that guy but... cops
 “To me, apples are like... Well, like cigarettes and liquor to humans” Vcvhcjhj every once in a while Ryuk says something that really tickles me
I know the word sociopath is kind of outdated but man does Light have actual interests outside of school or does he just do stuff to fill the void of his lack of interests (outside of murder)
JKHGKJHGKJHKJHG I cannot believe that this has turned into a fake classmate situation first of all 1) are you going to become friends and 2) How old are you Ryuzaki/L?
“Where is that rich kid from? And he’s even at the top of his class? What a jerk” honestly a mood
I DESPERATELY want Light’s mother or sister to overhear his evil cackling will someone finally eavesdrop on this god complex
“If I sit normally, my reasoning skills drop by 40%” weird flex but same 
Sidenote: I can’t believe how many episodes of this show I already have watched
Ngl I was VERY shook that Mr. Yagami had a heart attack. Also does Light care if his family lives or dies or is he kind of neutral on the subject? 
“If Kira is an ordinary person who gained this power, then he is a very unlucky person” Dad and L said ‘if u ARE Kira could you please stop murdering thank you <3′ 
Light really underestimated how much cops hate anyone who has killed a cop oops
OH SO IT’S NOT LIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHY HE HAD NOT MADE AN APPEARANCE THIS WHOLE EPISODE U MEAN THERE ARE TWO GUYS WITH THIS EXACT SAME IDEOLOGY AND PLAN? INCREDIBLE
Update from ten seconds later: Two people, I guess
Well this explains the girl in the short dress which serves as the Netflix thumbnail of this show I was wondering when she would show up 
Also she sounds like she’s very young? Clearly Shinigami don’t have a minimum age of informed consent when it comes to their Murder Eyes Contract 
Hahah I bet Light didn’t imagine that his petty and fucked up apple joke would bite him so quickly in the ass
Dhkjdhdkjhd Misa is so bold dropping her Death God deets in a video for anyone to see 
“The way to kill a Shinigami, is to make them fall in love with a human” does this mean that Ryuk is going to fall in love with Light or Misa? Both would make me uncomfortable
Oh wild guess Misa became a Death Note Wielder through the Power of Unreciprocated Voyeuristic Love
“Yeah, I have a girlfriend now,” said Light, after a girl contacted him through a series of anonymous video tapes implicitly vowing to be his disciple 
“No one could tell who he’s attached to if I’m with this many people” [20 seconds pass] “Found him!” HAHAHA the funniest part of this show is consistently watch Light going “got ‘em” before it immediately is revealed that he doesn’t got ‘em 
Why is Light so incredibly searchable??? I think the only way people people could find my height online is if I happened to answer it for one of those Facebook note memes in 2007 lmaoooo
“There are many places that will go and sell your personal records” ah, data breaches; a problem that has not gotten any better in the last 15 years since this anime came out
HKJHFHKJFHF Light immediately jumping into fake-dating his weird disciple in front of his mom... what is this show
“Please make me your girlfriend” OH MY GOOOOOD
This is one of the weirdest romantic dynamics I’ve seen in recent memory but you know what? Whatever, at least it’s not Anxiety and Murder
“Does that mean I’ll have to deal with her until she dies?” Light is truly exuding some Ladybird Book of Dating Energy rn: 
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The fact that to kill L all Light had to do was get an obsessive girlfriend... astounding
Beautiful that it took Misa less than a week of knowing Light to ruin his whole 15 episode game plan and also life
“I think I may be Kira” Well this show keeps taking one escalation after another this is exhausting why can’t Light just be a normal person who found it, tried it out of interest in the occult, discovered he’d committed a horrible atrocity and then went to therapy for the rest of his life only to confess to Magical Murder on his deathbed while his family goes, ‘Wow, Grandpa’s crazy’
Does L not think that keeping three different people imprisoned for days on end will lead to some psychological repercussions for him
FOR WEEKS ON END????? OH MY GOD???? The fuck L, I know two of these people are murderers but there are some minimum conditions of correctional facilities and this seems a little Stanford PE
THE DRAMA OF THIS EPISODE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A BLANK BUT HOW FUCKED UP TO PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS L I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!!! I MEAN LIGHT AND MISA ARE MURDERERS BUT FORCING A MAN TO HOLD HIS SON AT GUNPOINT AFTER IMPRISONING THEM FOR OVER A MONTH IS REALLY A REFLECTION OF A COMPLETE LACK OF EMPATHY (especially when you think that this version of Misa and Light don’t know anything!!! Oh my god!! The fuck)
“I will make arrangements so you and I are together 24 hours a day” call me crazy but I would not want to spend 24/7 with the man who imprisoned me for over a month while playing cruel psychological games all the while
“I’m one of those people who’ll accept Kira, I’d think of ways I could help him” Misa said Bimbo Rights
“I could never toy with a woman’s emotions like that” Light’s dating life and personality has gotten a LOT funnier since he forgot he was a murderer I kind of wish THIS could be the whole show 
Also: Nice to know Light USED to have standards of how to treat women
Honestly fair play to both L and Light they both deserved to be punched and it’s funny to see eighteen episodes of mind games culminate in punching and kicking each other in the face
“Matsuda’s being an idiot again” “Well, Matsuda is a natural at that” wghkjhgkj what has Matsuda done to any of you
"He’s punishing criminals as a front, and killing people for the benefit of this company” is Light unknowingly going to solve the murder chain he himself started... inspiring
“I was testing you” this is why Light is your only friend, L, Aizawa has kids and it’s a dick move to ask him to put his convictions before them
Poor Matsuda realizing he’s got the least to offer to their team... me in high school science labs 
I understand Aizawa’s moral crisis but why do NONE of these cops care about their wives or daughters they’re just kind of like, ‘I will provide for you but I have no interest in or fulfillment from being part of your life’ (ACAB)
Matsuda is truly about to die for being dumb and eager to help 😔 Rest in Pieces
“We must not allow Yotsuba to figure out that we are investigating them,” said L, just after it cut from Matsuda being obvious about investigating them. Oh Matsuda 😔 you’re so bad at your job 😔
MATSUDAAAAAAAA oh thank goodness; Bimbo Rights save the day
“I can’t go along with your idea, it’s wrong!” said Light, despite the fact it took him 15 seconds to get over murder the first couple of times he did it 
Staaaaaaaaay Good Light, I don’t want ur Deathnotesona I want this young man with moral convictions!!
The level of hubris it takes to answer a phone call during your secret Murder Meeting while people continue to talk about their Murder Plans is just out of this world
“If I die, you could probably become the successor to the ‘L‘ name,” said L, to the person he has been trying to catch for twenty episodes 
“I won’t say anything under any kind of torture” “Yes that’s true” Which he knows because he tortured her for six weeks!! You see that that’s fucked up, L, right? RIGHT??? RIIIIIIIIGHT? (LIIIIIIIGHT???)
Seriously not to beat a dead Shinigami but Light is so much better like this. He doesn’t want to throw people’s lives away for the investigation! He wants to protect Misa! He thinks Kira is wrong! Why does he have to be a murderer!!! Why can’t this show be about a nice young man!!!!
“Hey Ryuzaki, that’s messed up!” THANK YOU LIGHT AGAIN I KNOW YOU BOTH HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SO FOR ALL MISA KNOWS HE’S JUST A GUY WHO TORTURES HER AND TELLS HER CRUSH WILL DIE IF SHE DOESN’T HELP
Wow Rem is so ride or die for Misa protecting Misa from creepy Higuchi, giving her info and telling her to trust Light, that’s love bitch
Props to Misa for getting a confession out of Higuchi after one (1) car ride 
Why do I feel like L is going to be responsible for reawakening Bad Light is it because he psychologically tortured him for six weeks? Had his dad hold him at gunpoint? Forced Misa to investigate on his behalf? Constantly and unerringly presses him on what Kira would be thinking as he’s handcuffed to him 24 hours a day? Maybe!! This is like Build-a-Bear but he’s customizing his Teen Murder Friend 
“Only Mr. Matsuda can do [the mission to lure out Higuchi!Kira]” Death Note really said the Himbos, Herbos and Thembos shall inherit the Earth 
They keep saying they don’t know how he kills but it seems pretty obvious that he writes down their names to kill, they literally saw him do it
I really don’t want any of the investigation team to die but things are not looking hot :(
“Ryuzaki, I never knew you could fly a helicopter” “It’s just intuition” what does that MEAN
“Those aren’t allowed in Japan,” said Light, about a gun, as if he had not killed probably thousands of people without one 
In spite of this fact I really do want Good Light to stay 😔 Why! Can’t! This! Show! Be! About! A! Nice! Young! Man!
Also they really are playing into this father-and-son duo I will be very sad when the dad inevitably dies as I’m sure he will 
Family side note: I’ve been wondering this since the prison ep but where do Light’s mom and sister think he IS now that he’s dropped out of first year uni to be a teen criminal investigator handcuffed to a maladjusted homebody private eye
AIZAWAAA and also the other two guys I guess there was a plot relevant reason for him to rejoin the police huh
Well what a clean ending to this Kira arc. No one died and the killer was caught! Yikes that the next ep is called ‘Revival’ tho 😔 Rest in pieces Good Light
Also a new and very threatening intro???? What happened to the Twilight Apple Hands 
BOOOO I knew Light would get his memory back but I was hoping it would at least fuck him up for a while he sorted out his two personas but I guess all roads eventually lead to Bad Light 
Full disclosure I stopped watching for a few days just after Light got his memory back and let me tell u coming back later hasn’t made it any more tolerable I am truly not built for this EUGH
“Do you really want to halve your life a second time” “Well, that can’t be helped” REALLY???? CAN’T IT BE HELPED MISA??? WHY ARE YOU AND LIGHT SO CRAZY
Oh I guess we’re back to Light saying incredibly suspicious things right near the investigators lmao what if those cameras secretly had audio or you know, L simply knew how to read lips 
“Misa, let’s make a new world together” Remember a bunch of episodes ago when Good Light was all ‘I could never toy with a woman’s emotions’?? What was the reason!!!
“Have you ever told the truth at any point in your entire life” L cutting straight to the core lmao (also the answer is obviously ‘no’)
This show has taken a jarring tonal shift why are they having a post-rain-confrontation massage and towelling each other off this is a level of intimacy I was not prepared for I NEED PEOPLE TOOK LOOK AT THIS:
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OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THAT IT WAS PROBABLY NOT THEIR INTENTION BUT THE ONLY WAY I CAN READ THIS SCENE IS AS “Don’t kill me Light~ 🥰 I’ll fuck you~ 🥰” 
I guess L knew he was forcing Rem’s hand to kill him if he disproved the rules written in the book?? But to what end omg how does this help anyone 
“In April 2012, Light Yagami, age 23, joins the National Police Agency” should’ve known we’d land here eventually (ACAB)
Ah, I see another person who doesn’t know how to sit, clearly they will inherit the L title next lmao
Update from the first few mins of the next ep: “Near should succeed L” told you
“There’s no way I’m letting Sayu marry a detective” ahjfkhkjf he’s a little old for her I think but it wouldn’t be the worst thing this show has done romantically lmao; maybe Sayu would get to investigate her brother
“I might’ve considered going out with you, if you were a little younger” HA GOOD FOR HER
“[...] the Japanese police are unreliable. In order to solve this case, we want you to hand over the notebook to our country.” Of all the Japanese-speaking Americans in this show, this is the most accurate jkhfkhf the US government really is Like That 
Ah, so that’s where Mello’s gone, oh how the turn tables 
Also way to sell your subordinates out immediately, NPA Director, will you give them the Kira task force’s home addresses too
The real question is if Light actually cares about his sister enough to prioritize her over the notebook
“Call me... N” Oh my good L... M(ello)... N(ear)... Oooooooooooooooo
It’s my saving grace that I only need to get through 9 more eps but as always I must wonder where this is going will Light just die and end up in Shinigami purgatory while the people who knew him after the fact go, ‘hey, that guy was fucked up’
“If things get bad, I’ll have to kill Sayu” well I guess that answers that question, my expectations of Light are so low and yet he continues to find new ways to be awful
Good for Mr. Yagami and Sayu for getting out of that alive I guess but hoo boy I think this is going to have some psychological repercussions for both of them 
Uh oh this episode is called ‘Father’ I’ve been dreading this one bc I think that means Mr. Yagami is about to die 😭😭😭
“It was an institution for brilliant children, to raise them to become L‘s successor” okay calm down Professor Xatari that’s not what children are for lmao 
Well I guess it’s a lot easier to track down info about these two guys than it was to figure out L lmao
HAHAHA Sidoh haunting Ryuk to ask for his stuff is a fun addition to this madness  
“He’s scary for a human” jkhhfjh how unhinged does Mello have to be to threaten a literal Shinigami 
I truly don’t understand the logistics of how they revealed Ryuk to the police force isn’t the second Kira notebook supposed to belong to Actual Kira, in the police force’s eyes????? I do not understand how Light can just turn up with another notebook and everyone’s like ‘sure cool’ did I miss something 
Mr. Yagami killed for being unable to take human life ugh this is the worst 
“You’re not Kira. I’m really glad.” WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SAD MR. YAGAMI NOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S WHY HE RENOUNCED OWNERSHIP OF THE NOTEBOOK 
Neither Mello nor Near seem overly concerned with the lives of people around them does being a Super Genius Investigator also mean you have to be a dick (is this Benadryl Coddleswab Sherlock syndrome)
Lmaooo genuinely love how it’s constantly apparent that Light is the least smart of all of the smart people Light spent five years working on his reputation and it took Near one (1) phone call to destroy it 
Ghjkhgkhgkgjh Light outsmarted by Near yet again never think people will prioritize principles over money
Lol yeah Aizawa needn’t have given a name after he said the “Deputy Director Yagami would kill Kira and then himself” thing, you don’t do that just for anyone who was he fooling 
How does Light keep track of all the renunciations and notebooks bc I certainly can’t 
Ffhkfjhfj Mikami truly looks like the son of L and Light it’s like Light missed him and was like, “Miss u boo :( (even tho I kinda killed u) I’ll adopt An Evil 27-year-old in ur honour :)”
Is Mikami’s story really, ‘I got bullied in high school and have mommy issues so now I think people I don’t like should die’ ok Shonen Snape 
“I just want you to meet with me and hear me out” Light really proving to Aizawa that he can lie AND manipulate people’s feelings 
“The truth is, she’s not smart enough to be my partner” first of all Light I think this show has proven you’re not that smart, and Misa’s Herbo Energy is effervescent and will outlast you, and third of all go to jail
“He’ll look suspicious if he doesn’t say something soon” “Ide, have you ever been in love” Matsuda continues to be the only good part of this show
“You’re the only man I’ve ever respected and admired in my life” GET SOME THERAPY KIYOMI
“You’re going to be the goddess of the new world” so it’s not enough for Light to be a murderer he must also be a cheater
Lmao Near’s powers of perception do seem a little B/BC S/herlock because L tried for literally months to work out the possibilities and Near is just like ‘I KNOW IT NOW’
“The only thing I can deduce from this is that Light Yagami is popular with the ladies” HEAVEN KNOWS WHY (PUN NOT INTENDED)
Every moment Aizawa gets closer to proving Light is Kira is another step closer to death 😔
“This is definitely Mikami’s handwriting” Not to be a know-it-all, Near, but handwriting analysis has been proven faulty many times in multiple courts of law
This truly is a game of Cat and Cat. All these hidden plans give me a headache fkjhkfjh call me Misa-Misa and spin me sideways I don’t have the braincells to spare
Well this is definitely some kind of s*xual assault absolutely fucking hate it wow this show truly just drains the life out of you 
“Matt, I never thought you would be killed” why wouldn’t you think that at this point anyone who comes close to this investigation eventually dies (also wjkhkjhgk why is Matt special didn’t you kill all those thugs you had before -- Mello said ‘the lives of my allies are only important if they are drawn in handsome protag style’) 
As of yet I haven’t really talked about Near’s wild toymaking but hoo boy is that L finger puppet something to observe
“Everyone who knows about the existence of the notebook will die” I’m still pulling for their survival, particularly Matsuda (himbo rights!!!)
Imagine if they just shot Light Yagami on sight how ironic would that conclusion to all these mind games be 
“I’m waiting, for the one who will solve everything, to arrive” Lmao if it turns out L is alive I’ll pee laughing this show is so fucking stupid 
Take a shot every time there is a Humpty-Dumpty-in-Puss-in-Boots style explanation about how everything actually happened
“I’ve won, Near” I bet/hope what gets Light caught is his inability to hold in his hubris for one (1) minute
Although the last episode is called New World, in which case maybe he wins in a very weird ending to a very weird show
Sjkfhkjhfkhfkjhf well I guess what gets Light caught is that the person he invited to be his murderous disciple keeps calling him God
“A second ago, you said ‘I win.’ That’s as good a confession as any” HA hubris strikes again also bold of Aizawa to clap Light on the shoulder knowing he is a mass murderer
Ohhh Matsuda he’s so nice and believed the best of Light :((((((((((((
Watching Light become increasingly desperate and crazed is very uncomfortable give it up dude u’ve been beat (though I suppose there is time for everyone here to be murdered still lmao)
LMAO LIGHT SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, CONVERT ‘EM”
Yeah I figured if one of them was gonna shoot it would be Matsuda :( :( Good for him for not killing Light tho!!
Huh I guess that’s the end of the show I thought Light would die but I did think we’d at least get to see him in Shinigami Purgatory or smth... what a wild ride. This certainly was a show.
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getreadytosmash · 3 years
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Small smash headcanons I was thinking of and to put out my reboot designs
Skaar
Skaar took a more gladiator look from his time on Sakaar and no longer wears the loin cloth except for when he's on off days
His hair gets to around his upper back and often tends to be in buns and ponytails
Working on his reading and writing and gets help from Hulk and goes to the Xavier Institute for sessions with his mind control and memories
Got introduced to queer stuff by Rick and he was THRILLED to find out about this stuff and the footage of Skaar carefully picking out non binary, asexual and panromantic stuff was trending for a month
Yes I'm going into pridecanons a little more
Skaar's very happy with his own feelings of being nb. The rocks below him whisper about it always being fine and he doesn't need to care about what others say anyway. Not when they're too busy calling him a monster to care about his gender
Anyway. Skaar's sex neutral and I say this because its quite often the theory that all ace folks won't have kids blah blah but??? Some aces want sex to have kids and that's Skaar.
Ridiculously good sword fighter and often meets up with Nightcrawler and Shadowcat to have sword fights and compare tricks
Lots of whipping scars on his back and some around his mouth that hardly anyone knows are from
Has a matching scar with Red of a circle on the back of his neck as well as running lighting scars up his hands and feet with Rick, Red and Jen from where the Skrulls tried to harvest their gamma
Absolutely has the tattoo and has no clue about it
Occasionally has days where he can't remember the entire event and Skaar's become rather thankful that they can rely on Rick's cameras to guide him home if needed.
Adores the Savage Lands and is best friends with Kazaar and Zabu
Sometimes copies memes from Rick and it’s terrible
Likes having Jen help him with normal stuff, especially when she helps him learn stuff like reading and writing 
Rick
Yeah, can’t feel anything and that causes a few secret depression episodes aha 
Big on other sensory stuff now. Really likes to savour sights, sounds, taste and smells since he lacks a big ass part of it now. It really isn’t that uncommon for Rick to have a low of flowers within his bedroom and shit. 
Has to file down his spikes since they keep growing and often Hulk does it for him while Rick falls asleep
Rick needs a lot more protein now and often eats eggs or fish and gets into big fights with Red over it daily
Uses a stylish for everything since his fingers don’t work on touchscreens anymore
Often wears sleeveless jackets with different pins. Owns four of them with three of them entirely dedicated to alien, mutant and bi rights
Well known Youtuber and I really need to get around to writing some videos he’s done god someone remind me to put out that shit
Hardcore gamer and still screams at Samuel to help make a dating sim come oN-
Can hold his breath for an hour and a half and didn’t realise until he fell asleep in the bath and got woken up by Hulk panicking and tossing him out of the water
Very intent on mutant rights and often helps out with teenage mutants and raising the social status of the school 
Loves bi culture and is very defensive over aspects of his identity after years of feeling lost among the orphanages 
Has gotten more comfortable with his gender since he’s been wearing kilts and skirts for almost two years now
Used to have scars across his hands and thighs from years of canings from the nuns but now has a large cracked scar across his chest after Abomination ripped his shell off
Red unintentionally fathers him and blames Hulk 
Best pals with Jen and Betty and is the only one who gets to join them on Ladies Night with Lyra and Marlo
Stands on his tip toes when talking to Hulk often because he wants to be tall and it amuses Hulk to no end
Jen
Has a lot of different costumes she changes regularly and Rick always posts a vote on “What outfit has Jen got this week?”
Freckles and curly hair galore 
Hulk paints her nails and she does the same for him and it isn’t long before Skaar joins in
Works in New York but stays at Vista Verde for her time off
Yes i do want a all female gamma mutate team and yes they are A-force
They consist of Jen, Betty, Lyra, Carmilla and Marlo but are sometimes joined by other female heroes
Wears sweatband wrists, left one is the bi flag and the right one is the trans flag
Was afraid about being open towards loving women for a few years since Jen knew her father didn’t do anything about Bruce’s abuse, what would happen to her if Brian found out she liked more than boys? Came out after hulking out and is happier than ever
The same goes for being trans since Jen’s form is based heavily on her mentality of her body. Gamma gave Jen the body she wanted and she was SO pleased with it
tbh I do imagine she was more comic/noodle armed at the start since Jen wanted to look rather feminine but over time she’s gotten more comfortable with her body and idea of who she wants to be and slowly she got beefier 
Has two wardrobes at the base and makes Red help rearrange stuff for laughs
Pals with Samuel and often enjoys sitting around and dragging him out for shopping and starbucks while discussing cases
The one who appears in Rick’s youtube videos the most 
Can never finish a book and feels deep seeded adhd guilt
Sings outloud to every thing she hears 
Likes grape flavoured stuff and she is so thankful that she can’t die for that sin
BEST pals with Betty and Rick. Like. There’s a reason my “Betty is the OG Hulk and is a lil wlw with Jen” has happened honestly 
Has vitiligo patches of grey around her arms that were left over from her more traumatic transformations
Watches Red bake if she’s having a panic attack and the videos don’t help
Red
Has a lot of scars over his body from where Ghost Rider’s chain dug into him and left him burnt. idk seems really fucking cool
Like Jen, has yellow patches along his spine and hands from where he was joined mentally with Zzzax 
Still gets nightmares about said incident and is still scared for the day that a nightmare is actually happening
Started to bake because it helps from when he couldn’t control his heat powers or during ptsd attacks
Tends to get lost in work alongside Samuel, especially if they’re overly excited about a certain idea
Hulk fondly calls him a nerd for this exact reason and Red tackles him over it to this day
Tech reacts to him badly sometimes due to his possession issues and there’s been once or twice where he’s had some...odd experiences when it’s come to certain technology or alien tech
Stays the same mostly with his outfits but occasionally wears a leather jacket and fuck it takes his shirt off a lot he’s a dilf he can do that 
The one who crouches for humans the most and it isn’t uncommon for him to do it purely to unsettle the humans. Ass
Uh. Likes women but??? Sometimes there’s an annoying guy and shit being able to be easily suplexed now means that anyone who can do it can kinda catch his eyes and he fucked a demon- uh. Red has a lot of thoughts now about dating and it’s nerve-wracking
Still does missions with his Thunderbolt team and still hangs out with Hell’s Circle team when he met others that had been dragged down to hell as well
Gets courted by vampires and hates the fact that the others laugh at it 
Gets nightmares of crashing, of electric burning him away but doesn’t want to admit to the fact that he has some ptsd 
Not really Red but fuck it Betty has her own team and I’m shifting the Gamma Corps for Betty so her team involves; Betty (Harpy), Marlo (Sirin), Clay (Hulkverine), Lyra (Athen), Carmilla (Scorpion) and Gwen (Daydream) 
Right. Uh. So for those who don’t know who Daydream are, basically the writer at this time had been going through a bad divorce and he treated Betty like SHIT which involved breaking Bretty up before they could have a child, making Betty suffer a miscarriage, killing her and having the villain Nightmare raping her in her sleep and having Betty give birth to Daydream who appeared for one arc and was never seen again. So. I’m mad. 
anyway fuck him but I did like Daydream so instead she was an experiment from gamma base as a unique weapon that got used to infiltrate the Agents sleep but was later on rescued along with the rest of the gamma experiments. Got adopted by Betty when she found out Gwen had her DNA and went “oh worm?” to getting a baby i have more thoughts about this but u know. carry on.
Hulk
So Tired. Part time team leader and Avengers and even has his many own adventures of trying to help so many people out
I imagine he has a lot of the same issues as Steven in suf where Hulk often stresses out more about not being able to help people since he worries about the worst case scenarios 
Gets forced to take days off by each of the team and appreciates it but dear god if he doesn’t get anxiety about the whole situation every time
SomeTIMES he wears a blue shirt but only sometimes and that’s if he’s actually prepared for missions. Also has boots Red got him but Hulk keeps those clean and safe instead
Team dad for a reason. Fathers anything he can get his hands on and well known for it enough that Rick and Skaar get him something for fathers day every year and Jen gets him goofy ties because she KNOWS he doesn’t throw them out
Pretty relaxed about being pan and yes he makes jokes about being attracted to kitchenware he’s THAT terrible Rick wants to die and not come back pls 
Buys a lot of pride stuff for the others. Skaar owns so many nb and ace colour chalks he needs help
Really wants to own a guinea pig but he’s worried about scaring it or not being around all that often to take care of it properly
Falls asleep through almost every movie that he usually starts one half of it one day and finishes it the next day
Meets up with Ben Grimm and Logan Howlett every Wednesday for a night out. Usually they do bowling, play cards or go out to eat. It’s isn’t uncommon for other heroes like Spidey or Gambit to join them occasionally
Has business lunches with Betty to discuss movements of gamma mutates that turns into a fun brawl because they’re immortal children
Keeps a whiteboard in his room so that he can have arguments with Joe and Bruce.
Samuel
Keeps his outfit relatively the same but adjusts it slightly so it isn’t the exact same outfit he wears back when he was evil
Tends to cover up more after he gains a power that lets him control people just by touch
Aware of this power and thus often awkwardly flitters when someone near him might be upset and keeps spare gloves or arm sleeves on hard just in case
Has the sharpest teeth of all the hulks and actually tends to file them down so he doesn’t need to “scare people off” when in reality he’s self conscious about his teeth and the fact that he keeps biting his tongue by accident 
Buys and redesigns Icarus’s cage every other month to make it more elaborate, is currently fighting the constant urge to buy more rats for this reason
Demiboy! Fine with what he is, doesn’t give a shit. He rules hell and he’ll send you there if you argue with him so who the fuck cares if Samuel wears dresses and makeup?
Big stupid bi. Cannonly into women who are more powerful than him with examples being Rikki (Aka Brilliance, a female Leader) who kicked his ass and threw him across the room with her more advanced mind, Betty Ross...who can blame him, and lately is that one scientist in Hulkverine who Samuel literally fell for within one night sksksk
Big manipulator for people he cares about. Samuel has and will make elaborate plans to keep someone he cares about safe and is more than willing to kill anyone who has hurt his loved ones
Owns a large collection of nail polishes and tends to vary them when he’s bored and creates amazing art. Red watched Samuel once spend and hour re-creating all of Van Gogh’s paintings on his nails
Really good friends with Betty surprisingly, mostly because she can make jokes about being dead and he’ll just snort and go “same” 
Has the second best sense of smell after Skaar as he can smell early signs of sickness as well as a wider range of emotions
Info dumps so much and has long winded theories about the oddest things that resonate really well on the Youtube channel
talks to his oversized rat so seriously
Suffers nightmares and currently runs the Down Below and is so tired
Has actually died from exhaustion twice already 
Has large sockets in his back due to the fact that Samuel physically cannot hold the information he knows all the time and uses it to charge his phone
Still hangs out with villains like Loki and Mystique tho
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kachinnate · 4 years
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we’ve finally come time for the one (1) annual Kayla’s Having a Bad Time post 
i don’t know anymore what exactly is wrong with me but wow!! is it bad!!! and wow do i hate it !!!!! i have not gone a day w/o crying in like a week and a half and i’m so tired, i’m literally so tired of hating myself just for existing and i’m tired of all the little things that should not upset me upsetting me only because they’re in masse, only because all together it’s so much and i only have two fucking hands 
and like in the back of my mind even fucking still i’m like “.... okay but placebo effect. okay but you aren’t really sad tho. okay but you literally just don’t want to get better you are doing this for attention you are doing this bc being content would be easy and you just want to stir the pot clearly, just stop” to the point where i’m like I Guess I Have To Prove to even myself that i am fucking justified in feeling the way that i do before my brain gaslights itself into thinking that there was never anything wrong with me to begin with and that i’ve fucking put myself in this hole myself for no reason other than ... i don’t even know! i don’t know 
makes a list in my notes :) to remember all the heinous bullshit going on :) and maybe for catharsis reasons i don’t fucking care anymore 
- it’s the anniversary of the thing. you know. ;) the kind of traumatic experience of having the people i called best friends fucking uhhh pick on me every day for the entirety of like eight months - on my eating habits on my behavior on my anxiety on the things they knew i fucking hated about myself - only for them to just. drop me all of a sudden, on THEIR own terms, as if I was the one who fucking did anything to THEM, thus rendering me from never getting my own fucking closure from the situation ! i have both of them still added as friends on snapchat and i follow them on instagram because for some reason i know that if i just blocked them it would cause problems (what problems?? what arbitrary fucking problems???) seeing their faces makes me feel literal actual dread, i can’t go to one of the restaurants in my town alone because they work there and i hate it ! i hated every second of april 2019 - september 2019 where i felt fucking psychotic for being upset over this situation, where i couldn’t convince myself that i wasn’t insane for being strung up and i couldn’t even call it trauma until like march when someone coined it that for me themselves lol ,,,, i hate myself for still giving them my thoughts, i hate myself for wondering that in a different universe where i wasn’t as fucking stupid or ditzy if they’d still talk to me. i hate myself for wondering if ***** looks at the message i left on her poster last april where i told her how much i admired her and loved her and thinks about me, because that was probably the last time i ever said anything real to her, which... haha. what a JOKE right? 
- my rsd has somehow fucking spiked and gotten so much worse in like.. the last eight days. literally when i first posted ‘sweet hibiscus tea’ i went and checked it a few days after and it had like. two dislikes? and i like. cried? :) which is so dramatic and i hate it djksgndsg i can’t go a day reading messages or texts from anyone who talks to me without finding one that’s not inherently positive and picking it apart until i’ve hurt myself over something that wasn’t even related, im too sensitive about EVERYTHING but i don’t know how to address it or deal with it so i just don’t which i think is... why it’s getting worse oop. it gets triggered by literally fucking everything i hate it here 
- one of the only things bringing me any sort of serotonin rn is making content. hense the hyperfixating on my r and on this oneshot and on the writing meme things, like. it makes me feel productive, but hyperfixating for me oftentimes leads to a bad headspace which makes me fucking disoriented when i come out of it, and like. ofc there’s the typical things w it too like me forgetting to do other shit like eat or whatever but it’s literally been the only way i can cope with myself. making things. getting validation for things. if i can entertain someone for like, ten minutes, maybe anything i do matters. maybe. fuck. 
- i can’t not self isolate myself when things are bad, i just. can’t sdjgnsd like i hate talking about myself i hate talking about the way i feel because nothing makes sense?? i encourage people to talk to me when they feel bad but i can’t ever do the same for myself because i’m a hypocrite! and like the feelings of worthlessness overpower everything i do! convince me people don’t care and shit when i know that’s not the case, but if i acknowledge that then i have to think about how i’m being selfish by fucking moping but not talking to anyone, and i just! i cannot win !!! ever! 
- ^^^^ on that note, literally the few times i’ve felt okay recently i’ve had that ripped right from me by little things people close to me have done, like !! can you not vague me?? regardless of if you see that i’m doing bad mentally or not ???? i’m begging you , i’m so sorry that i’m not acting normal but can you for one second maybe consider that i’m a person ? i may be SAD but i’m not fucking STUPID so if i bother you just tell me ??? it’s the least you can do ??????
- scared i can’t love. scared i’m not morally a good person. scared that i’m selfish but don’t realize it. i wasn’t meant to have a confidant i don’t think and who am i to ever try and subject anyone to my fucked up head 
- i’m constantly fucking terrified on my dad’s behalf because this dude is 41 years old yet i’m the fucking adult out of the two of us most of the time? he comes home drunk so often and i’ve thought that he’s had alcohol poisoning more than once and i hate being fucking scared of having to like. contact fafsa or my college like “hey can u adjust my financial aid, because i’m kind of an orphan now? :’)” we don’t have any other family, i can’t ask anyone to help me it’s literally me and him against the world and he’s put me on this pedestal of being an amazing daughter so i feel guilty at the thought of anything happening to him as if i’m his fucking guardian. he drinks so much and he’s so infidelious and ridiculous so what’s going to happen when i leave ? 
it’s just. so much. but i don’t want to be a beacon of negative shit because even after all of this i’m self conscious of making other people sad so i pretend that everything’s fine on my sc and in person , which i know gives off the vibe of “but she’s not even acting sad? :///” when i offhandedly mention anywhere that i’ve been depressed and i just. i’m sorry that i don’t post about how when i’m not staring at my huion screen i’m fucking staring at the wall wondering if anyone would fucking notice other than my dad and my coworkers if i just disappeared without a word
it feels selfish to complain about my life feeling bad with all the shit going on, too, on top of that. so it’s better if i just don’t say anything at all, there’s other shit to deal with other than my life falling apart because really this just happens every year around this time doesn’t it. i’ll get over it. i’m being dramatic and stupid and in like two months none of this will even fucking matter 
tldr; i need to get my meds upped or something 
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translightyagami · 6 years
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Lawlight (duh) for the ship thing Also, if you're into any of these - Drarry, Malec, Ichiruki, Sakunaru
uhhhh i only know drarry tbh but not well enough for a ship meme dlfajsda sorry. anyway here’s lawlight. 
who is more likely to hurt the other?
they both hurt each other on some level just bc they hv v combative personalities and also they r WATER SIGNS which means they r constantly in a fight over who is more valid. jokes on them tho: they r both unvalid as hell. light will center an entire week around getting back at L for something he did bc he’s basically amy dunne playing the long con all the time. L will hurt light in ways that last. he’ll just come out of nowhere with something like, “maybe it would be better if we hadn’t met” and light will just go quiet. that’s like, a sore spot L will push on if they argue bc he knows light is incredibly insecure abt his standing in L’s life. idk man. they love each other but there’s a lot of stuff they’re working thru and they’re leaving some scars along the way.
who is emotionally stronger?
hm. i think L is. he’s toughened up from all his experiences as the world’s greatest detective and had to deal w a lot more emotional crises than light. when it comes to big setbacks, he’s more likely to take them in stride whereas light is like that post that’s like “i’ll deal with it but you gotta let me be dramatic first.” before anything, he’s gotta scream in his scream jar then he can put those anxieties into the fridge and go back to figuring out his life.
who is physically stronger?
they hv abt the same physical strength. that’s less of a contest between them, altho light does sort of like it when L can lift him up. he’s done the same for L a couple times but its more fun to b carried than to b the carrier. anyway. if ur asking who wins more fights? then i would say that light wins a lot of their brawls bc he’s not afraid to play dirty. he has a sibling, he’s fought these battles many times before. its no rules just right in this house.
who is more likely to break a bone?
light has a lot of sports related injuries but not a lot of broken bones. meanwhile, mr. stays inside all day on my laptop has had three broken bones all from falling down the stairs or slipping on shit. just, like, hold on bc i’m picturing light and L sitting in the urgent care waiting room, both with broken arms bc of a roller skating accident. i don’t know how ppl break bones.
who knows best what to say to upset the other?
see this question and the first question r so close and so the answer is like both of them know each other well enough to hv their fingers poised over a particular emotionally destructive button at all times. i only say L is better at upsetting light bc he’s more willing to go the extra inch of underhandedness. of course, light nvr shows that he’s upset on the outside. no, he remains cool and calm, laughs it off probably, and then goes into the bathroom to hv a full scale meltdown in the dry bathtub. to b fair, that doesn’t happen often. its only during big, BIG arguments.
who is most likely to apologize first after an argument?
oh i don’t think either of them hv apologized once in their whole lives so it was a big step for them to apologize to each other. light caves first, trudging into L’s office with the most pathetic look on his face and being like “i’m sorry i called you a trash bag with arms.” and then L sort of sits there and has an inner conflict for a second before saying, “i’m sorry i told you looked like a kohl’s mannequin but not hot.”
who treats who’s wounds more often?
if their fights ever get too intense and someone gets hurt, its usually L knocking his head against something sharp and light has to like sit him on the toliet so he can fix him up. when he’s administering first aid, light starts to fuss over L and makes a lot of concerned noises.
“that hurts.” L squirms as light gives him stitches. “don’t pull too hard.”
“relax.” light says. “i’m actually quite good at this.”
(will i ever stop quoting that one line? no, i won’t.)
who is in constant need of comfort?
i don’t know abt comfort but light needs a lot of reassurance, both verbal and physical, that L does care abt him. he needs to b assured of his place in the world and in their relationship which L isn’t super great abt doing. but light is usually vocal abt when he needs comfort around L, whomst he rarely hides much of himself from, so its nvr a problem of L just not knowing. he just has no clue how to react.
there’s been a scarce few times when L has needed comfort after a taxing case but light is right there to just sort of, uhhh, hold him. let him make some horrible noises and talk. they try to b there for each other. its something they’re working on.
who gets more jealous?
oh for sure light. he gets flushed w jealousy anytime L shows a little more attention to someone else who could possibly usurp light’s romantic position in L’s life. its not fair. those ppl nvr worked as hard as he did to get L’s attention, to get his love. L thinks its kind of funny and will do shit to make light go green eyed. but that shit stops after they work with a french officer who gets a little too flirty w light and L just like, shuts that down. not so fun to b on the receiving end of that kind of jealousy.
who’s most likely to walk out on the other?
light. he’ll fucking do it at the drop of a hat too, just fucking walk out and not come back for three days. of course, they both think they can handle being separated so neither of them calls the other. but on the third day light’s trying to eat mcdonalds in his car and put a sausage mcmuffin in the hole L’s absence made so he goes to call him but his phone rings and it’s L on the other line like “please come back i forgot how quiet things r when ur not around also if ur at mcdonalds can u get me an apple pie okay thanks i love you.”
who will propose?
dklfsadlsfkj neither of them. they don’t want to get married tbh. i just literally can’t see them ever wanting to get married. if ur gonna put a gun to my head abt it tho, i would probably say light does but its only bc his mom started a campaign to get him to make an honest man out of L.
who has the most difficult parents?
um. i mean i guess light’s parents r more difficult. its not that they’re difficult tbh its more like they’re still adjusting to the life their son decided to lead bc its waaayyy different than what they thought was gonna happen. like first he’s gay (which isn’t a huge surprise to them like they’ve seen queer eye for the straight guy. they know things.) and then he’s dating some 24 yr old reclusive detective that happens to hv been soichiro’s boss for like a couple months and now light just sort of solves crimes w his boyfriend. so they’re being supportive but they’re also a little bit confused so sometimes it ends up in awkward situations where everyone’s at the dinner table and sachiko is like “so. what do your parents do, L?” and L is like “i don’t know who my parents were. i think they’re dead.” and she’s like, “oh. hm. well. that must b rlly rough for you.” meanwhile light is p much eating his napkin so he doesn’t start screaming at how little control he has over this shitty conversation.
who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?
they r rarely in public but uh. light does. he’s getting used to being out and part of him just rlly enjoys the physical evidence of their relationship that hand holding provides. that closet was so suffocating. it’s time to let those hands breath a little.
who comes up for the other all the time?
i still don’t entirely understand what this means entirely but i’ll take my best stab at it. i think L comes up for light a lot, esp if he’s talking to like the wammies or literally anyone who isn’t light himself or his family. like, p much everyone is like “but.....he’s kira???” and L is like “look. listen. i don’t know why but he’s. he’s rlly important to me. so its maybe better if we don’t shit talk the guy who sucks my dick? at least not rn.” he doesn’t do it v often bc usually the insults thrown toward light r well deserved but sometimes he does. light doesn’t come up for L like ever. he nvr talks to anyone abt L. whomst would he tell? yamamoto? secretly he goes on a couple message boards tho and send mean anon messages to ppl talking shit abt L but that’s as close as he gets.
who hogs the blankets?
L will b wrapped in a big old blanket bundle like that picture of homer simpson where he’s like “ah. i’m just a big cozy cinnamon bun.” light’s like curled up on his side of the bed w just the sheet but then L reaches over and drags him into the blanket bundle so they r both toasty cinnamon buns together.
who gets more sad?
L is more prone to bouts of depression and can get lethargic if something hits him the wrong way. the first few times it happened, light tried to shake it out of him but he’s learned since then that he’s just gotta ride this shit out. so for a few days or weeks, he’s just got a sad boyfriend so they watch a lot of netflix and don’t get a ton of work done.
light v rarely gets sad. he’s got a v positive outlook on life and doesn’t let a lot of stuff ruin his mood. but when he is sad, its like a big event and he’s crying in the dry tub in just his briefs and a sweatshirt while listening to sufjan on repeat. look. he’s just gotta get it out of his system and then he’ll b fine!
who is better at cheering the other up?
light is better at finding stuff to cheer L up. if L is in a funk, he’ll go search for a good case or an interesting lead so he can present it to him like a cat dropping a mouse in front of him. L is.....not so good at cheering light up. all he knows is how to piss him off. but after a while he starts to puzzle out that light flourishes under praise so he’ll try to keep telling him what a good job he’s doing.
who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?
i said this in my mikami/light post but uh, light laughing is so uproarious that he just. whacks the person making him laugh on the back super hard. L doesn’t do anything the first time but the second time he grabs light by the wrist and is like “don’t. control ur self, u loud scream laughing monster.” light keeps his hands to himself when he laughs after that. he’s actually quite embarrassed of his natural laugh bc it is so obnoxious so he often tones it down but sometimes!!! shit’s just too funny!!!
who is more streetwise?
neither of these two know a god damn thing abt the streets. ok, L knows a little bit but he forgot it after building a giant fucking building for one investigation team of like six ppl.
who is more wise?
L knows more abt the world and has more experience than light does. he’s not quite wise?? but he’s definitely more knowledgeable and it smacks him in the face a lot how super young light is. how much he just doesn’t know. but L’s only in his mid twenties. what the fuck does he rlly know?
who’s the shyest?
mmm. they aren’t shy ppl by nature so i’d say neither of them. esp when they’re together. combining their levels of pure confidence is like putting a fire in a room with more fire; it just increases the amount of fire. as their relationship progresses, they get more assertive w each other and idk man. they just don’t do that shy shit.
who boasts about the other more? 
mmmm. i don’t think they brag abt each other a lot but i think light kind of wants to brag abt being w L. i mean, he didn’t think it would happen but then L did come and want to start something with him and its like?? wrow. but he doesn’t rlly hv anyone to brag to so he just sort of lets it sit like a smoldering piece of coal in his stomach, keeping him warm. L exculsively brags abt light during video conferences w the wammies like “MY PARTNER, WHO IS A GENIUS AND V ATTRACTIVE, AND I, WHO IS DATING THIS ATTRACTIVE GENIUS, HV FOUND A CLUE” and like everyone rolls their eyes like “dude u told us the same shit last week like please please please stop telling us abt ur hot boyfriend.”
who sits on who’s lap?
light!!! sits!!! on L’s lap!!!! all the time!!! he curls up in there like a cat and plays w L’s hair.
“am i making it hard to do ur work?” he asks, fingers scratching on L’s scalp.
“yes. but that’s okay. light shouldn’t move.”
so he doesn’t and just falls asleep there, hand on the back of L’s neck and drooling on his shoulder. its cute in like an ugly way.
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thewitchqueen281 · 6 years
Text
Experiment 808 AU
Hey so I did actually have someone show some interest in this AU, but I’m awful at formatting so I'm just making a separate text post. Read about each character under the cut. A bit about the setting. It’s pretty distant future, this big lab in the middle of the city was commissioned to make a ton of super soldiers. Not knowing where to start they just... started kidnapping kids. Like from their cribs and everything. Not legal but they can like start from scratch there. By the time most of them are ten they’ve been tortured and beaten and do not want to be there. So they just escape. Because like what are they going to do to stop a bunch of kids with powers.  They run free into the city. They stay hidden in bunkers and hideouts. They are all about 15~16 ish. I haven't decided whether or not Al is still a year younger or if they are twins so, for now, its up too you. 
Anyway, enjoy these stupid teens.
Ed 
Has gills on his neck and sides, and dragonfly wings.
the wings are red and while he can fly fast can’t fly for a very long time. 
Instead of his traditional black tank top and coat, he wears one of those knit sleeveless turtleneck things with his red coat that ties around in the front.
Anyone with gills is bioluminescent underwater, he glows red in his face and all around his arms.
he wears a different outfit because it hides his wings and his gills. 
still kind of a little shit. 
knows all the other kids, is friends with most of them surprisingly. 
lives with his brother, Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeyes, and Denny Brosh in an abandoned library on the west side of the city. Because they are the kids he trusts the most.
he would live with Ling, Lan Fan, and Winry. But Ling and Lan Fan don't really live anywhere and Winry travels between all the kid's hideouts making sure they didn't break anything.
Likes knives, like really really likes knives
has like twenty on him at all times. 
he actually meets Ling by throwing a knife at him and getting really pissed that he missed. 
Roy Mustang 
Has a salamander tail, sometimes breaths a small bit of fire. 
Doesn't really like people at all. 
is four ten and has a lisp and you can pry this headcanon away from my cold dead hands. 
frequent all-nighters, whether playing video games or trying to master fire breath. 
Wears really baggy cargo pants, he likes the pockets. 
has a haircut with two very long pieces of hair in the front and kinda shitty bangs. 
he regrets this haircut. 
he’s best friends with Riza and Ed because Riza and Ed are also wild kids who won't stop him from jumping off really high places or putting bugs in Al’s tea. 
Likes lollypops, no one is sure why he just thinks they taste nice. 
huge crush on Jean Havoc from the group uptown, The others make fun of him. 
Riza Hawkeye 
Has a cheetah tail and likes to R U N
She's a very fast girl, for a long time everyone thought that was one of the abilities given to her during her time in the lab.
it's not  
she just likes to run. 
despite being a wild teen is the second most sensible one in their group. Has had to drag Roy to bed, but almost everyone has had to do that once or twice.
cant cook for shit. like really. she hates cooking shes so bad at it. 
everyone expects her to be the mom for some reason like they think she cooks and cleans. 
shed rather die, Ed cooks, they take shifts cleaning.
loves long skirts and horror novels. 
likes to think she can talk to ghosts or summon demons. 
or maybe she can. 
nobody really knows. 
Talks to herself on occasion. 
Al 
Has gills like his brother. Very small antlers as well.
glows blue underwater near his ears and around his legs. He and his brother have matching symbols on their backs.  
wears a blue hoodie to cover the antlers. 
The actual Mom Friend TM 
Enjoys tea and not having to deal with his brother and CO’s bullshit. 
for once would like to sleep in. just once. 
Would be a wine mom but he is responsible and doesn't drink while underage, unlike almost all of his friends who really don't seem to give a shit.
Sassy, like, really sassy. 
bad at hiding his emotions. 
you will know when he thinks your being a dumbass.
*looks into the camera like he's on the office* 
“Al me and the others are going to jump off the top of the building and see with we can stop ourselves.” “Good luck brother.”
Is friends with everyone and really he loves them all but goddamn. 
One time Ed dated a real shit head and you don't want to know what happened after he dumped Ed. he isn't dead but he won't be walking anytime soon.
Denny Brosh
Has Squid tentacles under his arms and fins on his legs. He glows a bright yellow underwater. 
Knits, like a lot. Every one of them has a homemade sweater from him. the others he lives with wear theirs all the time. Because they do gross things like care about one another in this household. 
Is still really good friends with Maria Ross, he wishes they saw each other more. 
can and will shock you with his tentacles, especially if you make jokes about them. 
Meme dream team leader. 
Al doesn't understand memes and Denny hurts every day because of this. 
has a bright yellow sweater that he knitted himself and then had every single one of his friend sign.
Thinks Kain Furey is super cute. Roy thinks he's super gross because Furey is an innocent Denny!
wholesome meme some days sex jokes on others. 
pretty much all the kids have pretty severe mental health issues, but Denny is one of the few who has tried to help his. 
takes anxiety meds. 
while he doesn't have any sibling this timeline he has his friends and honestly they are pretty close to siblings. 
has called Ed big brother but like everyone has once or twice. Ed doesn't really give a shit and has accepted his fate as the oldest and apparently the most brother like. 
Maria Ross 
Lots a scales, like all over her body. 
has wings but she isn't sure what animal they could be from.
they are big and scaley like her. 
Lives with Olivier, Mei Chang, Sheska, and Winry Rockbell when she's around. They live in an old dinner on the east side of town. 
Would date Sheska 100%. 
Sorta has claws, doesn't matter she enjoys painting them. 
Good friends with Olivier, actually best friends. This is a problem in some ways because Olivier and Denny don’t get along at all. 
Has a gun, only used it once or twice to protect her friends. 
she hopes she never has to use it again.
Sometimes wonders what her family would be like if she hadn't grown up in a lab. Wonders whether of not her family sold her or if she was stolen. She wonders for the other kids as well.
Breaths and cries ice. 
prefers if her friends called her Ria 
Olivier Armstrong  
This bitch got bat wings
they are fucking huge. 
she can’t really hide them so she only goes outside at night. 
she has become a cryptid. 
blurry shitty pictures of her crouching on buildings wings extended, her eyes glowing are all over forums. 
Batgirl strikes again?? 
she thinks its super funny. 
Doesn't really try to hide how she's feeling. 
most of the time she’s Arragont or amused.
Anime character tch. 
Her list of people she dislikes is bigger than the list of people she likes. 
that's a lie she loves all her friend's
she’s just bad about showing it and claims to hate them. 
everyone calls her Livi. 
she hates it but nobody cares. 
keeps her hair in a ponytail.
Mei Chang
has a cat tail, and night vision.
Please don't make any jokes. 
she doesn't want this.
People sometimes pull her tail. they only pull it once though. People learn from their mistakes.
wears a big pink coat with lots of pockets. she keeps both dead mice and her kunai in the pockets. 
Is Winrys assistant when she's around.
loves to help. is crushing on Al from the west side library. Everyone knows but Al. Ed and Ling think that is hilarious. Like it didn't take them months to get over themselves. 
Ling is her half-brother. She isn't sure how trustworthy the info is because it’s something she heard from lab technicians. 
Wants to learn to fight better but nobody wants to spar with her. 
Sit’s up at night and stares at her coffee. 
it’s cold now but she can’t get to sleep. 
Winry Rockbell 
Has butterfly wings, emperor butterfly wings. They don't make her as fast as Ed but it is faster to fly than to walk and she can fly for pretty long periods of time.
automail isn't really a thing. So Winry does general doctor stuff.
she goes between bases and makes sure that everybody is healthy. 
most of the time that isn't the case so shes pretty much always working.
Thinks Mei is a wonderful helper.  
Wears her signature tube top. doesn't travel through populated areas and definitely doesn't by day.
Butterflygirl isn't as cool as a cryptid as Batgirl so she doesn't get much coverage. 
Will still hit you with a wrench don't test her. 
She carries it and her entire toolbox because she’ll be damned if she loses time for her machines while helping out these idiots.
Dating Mothman. 
Mothman is actually Lan Fan. this joke doesn't make a lot of sense to her because Lan Fan doesn't have moth wings. Ling and Ed tell her to shut up and go with it. She rolls her eyes fondly. 
Kain Fuery 
Has ant antenna. he can send messages across radio waves because of this. makes it easy to keep up with his friends. 
Lives with Jean and Rebbeca in what they think was once a club. It's unused now but it does have an underground bunker for some reason.
He is an innocent 
(He isn't) 
keeps a picture of some dog in his pocket. 
he needs it to keep up morale. 
yes, it is just a stock photo of a dog that he stole out a picture frame at wallmart a couple years ago.
He really likes animals. Ed and Roy hate going out with both him and Al in a pair because both of them insist on stopping to pet every dog and cat or whatever animal.
Functional Bi 
Jean Havoc  
Has fins he thinks. they are like spiky and help him swim better. they are all over his back and wrap around his arms. Has gills, and he tends to glow a bluish purple.  
he lives in the club but prefers to be near the docks. 
Loves to swim
Just call him Jean
Please god just call him Jean. 
Olivier and Maria butchered his last name so bad when he first meet him that he is permanently traumatized. 
he’s being dramatic but like, that's who he is??
Disaster Bi 
Pinning? His constant mood?
Ling Yao
Red panda tail and claws. 
Loves sweet things, like so much.
Can see in the dark, loves his night vision
Thinks Ed throwing knives at him is super hot
Ed is Concerned TM 
Doesn't really live anywhere. 
bounces around the bases with Lan Fan. 
Lan Fan is actually his twin sister but they haven't told Mei that yet.
he doesn't know why people don't just know.
Climbs in Ed’s window in the middle of the night. 
freaked Ed out the first time it happened but he got used to it. 
spars on rooftops in the middle of the day. 
For some reason, nobody seems to freak out. 
Kink is love and appreciation
doesn't actually know most of the other kids. Sometimes there will just be a different kid at the base and He’ll be like cool.
Everone knows about Ling though. 
Lan Fan
She has lunar moth wings. Although Winry seems to think they are from some type of butterfly like her. Ed and Ling know the truth and call her moth man. 
She flicks their faces for it. 
loves food. thinks it must be because lunar moths cant eat, that side of her wants to eat E V E R Y T H I N G. 
Or maybe she just has a huge appetite because Ling eats a ton as well. 
has night vision as well.
Is her last name Fan? Not even she knows. 
Everyone calls her Lan Fan though. 
Spars with Ling but prefers fighting with Ed because Ling holds back. Ed doesn't.
tries so hard not to scream at her friends. 
god, she tries so hard. 
This took so long. If you want to hear about specific characters request it and I’ll make another one of these. If anyone wants to write a fanfic send it to me, I’ll be the first one to kudos that ish.  
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luxeor · 7 years
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Did you ever make a friendship on this site that ever made you feel like you were being policed? You know from those ppl who strive for moral purity and call out others on their shit for “misbehaving” over pointless crap, like making sexual jokes, laughing at dark humor, finding fault where there isn’t, implying that u are a bad person just cause u said “bitch”, backed up with a 5 page essay over why your action was problematic, guilt-tripping u for wanting money and material wealth as if those things were evil and just overall being super sensitive and taking things personally? Cutting those ppl out feels quite desintoxicating, relieving! Like I can understand their viewpoints and offer enough empathy and support specially to people those who feel misunderstood and hurt, but that behaviour gets annoying over time cause a lot of what they say or do is useless and gets in the way of other people’s goals and brings the mood down, in the real world u can’t always be morally pure to get ahead, there’s competition, a jungle, mean people who won’t have mercy to get their way and you can’t apply those standards to everything, otherwise they will take advantage of you, and u will end up on tumblr once again disappointed and whining about how mean and ugly the world is when you could have gotten your act together and fought back. If you are expecting a saviour to come do all the dirty work for u then you are done for, cause he’s not gonna come (and if he does he will most likely be an illusion thats going to turn your world into an abusive relationship, why u think so many strong, powerful men who get shy, submissive spouses end up like that, he will always be in a favourable position and end up dominating everything cause the spouse has no initiative for anything, they are just there roaming in their dream world wishing things would get better but don’t do shit to make their situation better), you will simply continue to waste your life letting many valuable opportunities and experiences pass by and that fuckin sucks u know. It’s annoying, stupid, selfish even, there’s so much more to do with ur energy than spend it observing people’s shortcomings and pointing them out to fit your delusional ideals, it’s like these ppl are just emotional baggage that u have to constantly reassure with ur words and actions and yet they offer nothing in exchange except making u feel restrained and like carefully walking on broken glass shards cause u are afraid u might offend them with something. 
Y’all know I was in a similar position years ago, crippling with unbearing anxiety and depression, I wanted to get out of there and did it, I didn’t stay in a bubble to protect my inner world while ignoring realities like many people on this site do. It really, REALLY pisses me off how so many people on this site live in some false delusion that their feelings, opinions and ideologies really matter that much that they will change society to a state of utopian moral grandness when they barely even leave the house, can’t stand being in the real world with their own two feet for more than a little while and get intimidated or even demonize people who are self-confident, successful, work hard for themselves and provide for their friends/families, then excusing their own behaviours with “not everyone’s neurotypical karen” “MY ILLNESS, MY FEELINGS, THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN, MY STRUGGLES!!” to not do anything, continue living like that and followed by making pathetic memes to make ppl feel sorry for them. 
Like jesus fucking christ bitch, stop, why is it that u dislike having self-respect so much to make others pity you, and why when someone has a positive confident attitude you have to shit on them with your condescending ass, like please develop and grab onto positive feelings more for once and focus more in your surroundings, other ppl! You are already in touch with your inner states TOO much to the point of overthinking and to complete inaction, so its KEY to focus externally, help other ppl, even something as minimal as asking how was ur day to ur friend helps, tell a joke, make ppl laugh, observe what they like/dislike, why spend so much time circulating in ur own negative emotions and overthinking to the point that u can’t function properly, ignore those thoughts! Kill ur brain, shut it down if it’s blasting u with unnecessary thoughts, If someone’s mean to u just think: fuck them! Don’t put your self-worth in others cause that ALWAYS has to lie within u, they don’t know shit about u, and besides, chances are that the ppl u think will make fun of you are actually afraid of u too but because they don’t want to offend u, they are not sure as to how to deal with u and when things don’t go well they get just as frustrated as u might be, ppl generally have good intentions but they can read you by how u dress, your facial expressions, your way of walking, your speech, those are all cues to who you are and it’s easy to tell when someone is insecure and shy, with those signals the other person is just gonna think they will give u a hard time, even though they don’t want to hurt u. Like bitch even if u don’t have a skinny body or a pretty face, a smile and positive attitude always makes the difference, people will always prefer that over someone who while pretty, sexy or hot has a shitty selfish attitude and just doesn’t make a good impact on anyone. Like just fuckin engage in the world in a meaningful way cause you just can’t ignore it and stay in a bubble expecting your life to get magically better, it won’t be easy at first and u will screw up definitely, but with constant practice you will get used to interacting with others in a more healthy manner and feel more confident to say “i can do this” and eventually exert control over what goes around u, stop disrespecting urself reblogging self-depreciating memes, policing ppl, ignoring reality and get to the action, analyze, observe, make objective conclusions of your situation and act on them, your feelings are not entirely ur compass for decision making, cause just know it, the world doesn’t give a shit about ur feelings until they see you can stand up for yourself, provide love, affection to others and give them the sense of security they need to trust you, don’t be someone’s emotional baggage please cause that’s just rock bottom and you'd do so much good to yourself and others by getting out of there, not staying in it like many posts on tumblr might encourage you, cause that’s just... yikesssss.
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castlehead · 7 years
Text
[CAPARISON'D]
There is no judgment slightly more than kind Now left that wld apply to this suggestive thing
Artlessly done as it is, but like the Earth is artless, Myself the experience of the Earth I have, or
Rather, am able to communicate; sometimes Nothing more than that, and in those cases feel
I am but shavings of selfhood, not so held fully in A Physical Body, yet not even able to accurately
Imitate reality outside of my a priori orb: I always Fail to bring it back: example is one time I was
Supposed to buy pot for this trip to this dude I used To know's house in Martha's Vineyard but thought
Cops / Were throwing shade where I was even tho Probably like one patrol car had driven past me
Or whatever, somewhere on Columbus on the stoop Of this brownstone out of many -it was an affluent
Neighborhood, a few blocks from my house- and Anyway paranoia got to me before the dealer, whose
Name -which was really probably more like a nickname- Was 'Talon' -yo, man.. it's been so long I'd thought of
That. I remember: I ghosted into the / Better, darker Shade of pregnant shade my room had, the one I used
To hate and love at the same time, and which my irritated             Mother oft wld clean up for me, and which smelt of humiliation,
Like a group of people opening your door and immediately Stepping in dog vomit -I feel indifferent about it as I am older
Now, and it's been two years since I dropped The ball and fell out of a window- I mean / Chicken'd
      Out of getting the Pot.- The monotony is I almost Do get it, every time, stuffing it furiously
Into a fannypack i always lose, bc I must lose, it / Then End up having to purchase more fannypacks: o ugly futility: it is
                                        Like when my gf and I lost our wallets pretty  Sequentially, like, within the space of a week, the way
    We [both of us] lose our minds, certainly, every day: and the spirit of-- Reality? It goes and expires, the schmuck, from exposure in snowy
                 Caverns after my 9th goddamn Fannypack. / It hid so long Within the ear and don’t come out but
        As such, by its knotty refusals, tells me how meaning sounds: Now what’s the story here: these heroes, makars, tune
        Up me, leave me a lyric without an epyllion, an extended Sequence of spongy self-regard that grows in the heart of
These strange routes to find my wallet, yet much like         Exposure to cold climates, mayest I find where
Nestles this goon what who stole my griefy solemness
Took my schedule for my weeping: I must meet   My grief-quota, and pushing myself into my findings
I perform more experiments with beakers and shit   But in vain seem to leave my sanity figuratively burnt
In the corner, ignore her either bc I find her precious Or bc I am neglectful, and usually ignorant 
OF the long-time effect of loosening yr circadian Rhythm, which I guess would be apposite to The rhythm of when it was time to cry in public.
Finagling finesse, or robbing silence Of hours and hours / Of record.
Which one is worse? And are either Productive? And will Vaping give
Me early onset Dementia? I don't want to be A dull boy. I feel like buried beneath the concrete
Built of all great men Looms the rind of the thing,
The res' residue of Gd. That prays away inside all heroes
Like the precious goop inside a jelly Donut, a goop or honey / They seem
To acquire endlessly from caverns of perspective As sound the mechanical counting thuds of heart.
. .  .   .   .     .      .       .        .          .
Of all the spooky diameters these figures tell me To follow till the finish, / These podunk palings
Are the worst. Stretching up the road indeterminately            To someplace / Out of sight and that
The poet is not even sure is actually there. The thing you have done, the court of bees in
My head tell me, While you do not mind a response To this yet you tiptoe / Over that, puts pressure on
The work of a gaggle / Of random bros that can clone Themselves / Sifting into creation like wild atomic dust.
I hear this propounding from the court of bees, Crones lift up the light to me like strange furniture,
Double over under its [wait] weight and drop that Massive coffin of light into the local undrained swamp.
                              In that fabulous mire will yr body sleep; you will always               Harbor / In your chest that detailed yet subtle truth about you nobody
Knws about for certain, the thing you had no choice to Be, that blurs yr eyes, I speak of it you, saith the swarm.
. .  .   .   .     .      .       .        .          .
Honestly, write as speech of moment, yeh: Stuff about / The time passing, your thighmuscles
Clenching as you sit here realizing u clench Yr ass too, and then everything goes
Into this goofy rhythm of tearsdrops of moment And the same your toes, / Some anxiety hoping
To accelerate the past / From you and your palings. Surrounding you, as if to jump you for money-
-Flits the doom that could fit in like I didn't in Highschool; yes I became the cliché misfit as
The spirit’s lull in me, waiting for shitty misfit Carnage to end: I had to welcome it, it was
The life of me, it was either that or liberation From life-entire. Almost dozing off, the security
    Guard in my brain hears a rustling in the bushes. / Try                             To deck out these pithy voices in something
Nice and acceptable, a'saith, said The Bees, and Said the Bees, End up shaking no crown, / Nor did free myself
Of anything for nothing at all but what I did, a crime that Is, of being th the hellish flower flowering out my Lungs, into your basic realm with every breath,
As the voice of the speaker Of the pome seems undecided on who
Is actually speaking, me or you, I'd say The only thing to do is duel it out, poet
And the carnage in my hands, coming In frank whorls of feeling that efface
My sense of balance with its own glee Of shaky grip, which I trust, and I boil
With the energy / Of fifteen Wellbutrin today. I am left here to my work that's called, "To be all
The way true with myself" Which comes From this very domepiece here, you all. That I-
-Can ever be an audience to myself, forever, Is enough of an accomplishment as a poet.
. .  .   .   .     .      .       .        .          .
The writing, tho, is another voice telling me about Myself, knocking on my skull for hollow spots
To take a sledgehammer to. It drifts, I think, / Thru many People, explaining whatever's holy around them: like ticks
Finding weeds by the broken gate That grow in an unnatural sort of way like
        They got sprayed with chemicals Or something, though,
Perhaps the ground is bad, by the broken gate. Where I make my desolate way to work,
                                 Have my desolate work done, or to say, this crime:            I say my continuum: I despoil my ego, sure, but that is not the crime. I-
-Intend the risk, but have in me some coward Pushing back, repeatedly asking me if I'm
Crazy or something: suddenly I am fallen To the breaches of the World, so as to find
My Gd., the one that is the baroque one, And wriggle about as if I was a child on her
First plane ride: my ears hurting popping Cabin pressure and hellish something
Outing my innermost / What if's about The Baby; so it, like conjuring a thesis
Statement, shapes something of all That contradicting Clay into
Something my inner nobody can handle, frail as he is he Lays muted, finally attached to the beauty / Of the flower
. .  .   .   .     .      .       .        .          .
In my lungs. Go inside an Outside place, something says,
Permeating thru a fog of voices, Pieces, The bees they are long gone,
And I am not alone: so: notice Yr location, detail by detail,
The plain sense here is there: My symmetry is more than bothered air:
It is calls to me made by the telephone: I listen patiently to the dialtone as it weeps,
All things then taking on a character of Consciousness. I apply my consciousness
To others, like ravens do maybe. And then It is / Almost done, as is the inching doom:
I should b at this moment receiving Nourishment from feeding Tube, A coma patient suspended in Unbroken sleep, loved ones hoping He'll waken to his will again, Those I love / Doubly forsaken By me who thought he ws. forsaken
By the World.-- This perpetuity is a moody little fate I have in me, It is the location I notice, like you said, you, thru The fog. Happy? Now it won't leave. It is like A mouse i'the wainscot [Dickinson] / Telling me Myself, poet or perhaps the man, or the opening sun Once more to strange and futile dawns since since I do live, and live: so I am: and I have my own
Special clan of becketts picking Sundries from their asses
Soothing my jagged impressions of the World With familiar image, smoothing like a ironing Board; and, they keep policing the fictions on Which rest the reasoning behind my writing Behavior, why I did a song so very long.
. .  .   .   .     .      .       .        .          .
"Old father old artificer Stand me now and ever in good stead." Rough the linens on my deathbed are, and scratchy, It's wool I always hated the texture of when I was A kid: now of course, am a Loathing Regular of All On the internet, / Intent on memes to the last, he was, That's what it'll say on my epitaph. / In all my strength I say, then, or entreaty my messd up life disappear into
The dawn that I think has something wrong With it, it seems like it is kind of off, like People who are confined in boarding houses For the mentally ill. From my screaming Radio I hear someone selling Cadillacs. It Was not midnight. It was not raining. It was The fence that was my crime, outstretched Into stupid distances like a Wyoming of the Dirty cosmos, dirtier than silence cures the Exegete. I profit sentence by sentence, see,
And the Ars Poetica is a way to send a treatment Of the play to The Hollywood. Sentence is a line Robbing my habitat, until I am inside looking in, For the sky stops at the ground, and that is all. The mirror falls, and I must write out savage Things like this, that make up their mind About what they are, interest only
In keeping symmetrical. My soul needs exit From any light, even of lamp, it needs a Hypnotic Like Ambien to trip out on and slump over Dinner with my family later, still fucked up on It. Then something stops, not time, I do Not want it to be anything like time. Perhaps Verbosity: but I do comment
On epiphanies well enough to know the sound OF epiphany, without knowing what exactly The sudden clarity reveals. Did one look at What one saw, or did one see what
One looked at? -Thats me stealing from Hart Crane. Great artists steal because they see
How a style can be improved, so adopt it, make It better. Such sins amass; the Angels sing, O Theft!
Theft! And I go ahead plant a knife enough a knife for some Australian guy to say, "THATS A KNIFE." But not
Enough to charge anybody with anything, then somehow Twist it into a hate crime, duly distracting The Angels
From their liminal matters of blame upon me I am / Not thieving, I am making belated what Came before me, sort of like Mars in retrograde;
The stiff providence of fences and unlimited Bougie refernces atone for my ubiquitous use
OF all the best parts of everything, to make them Better than they were, written by those
Who wore a style like a 18th century noble Wears a musket: protectively. He honors most My steal, sorry, i mean style, who works under it-
-To destroy the teacher, saith Whitman, But that is love: all he didnt have was a hand On the button ol Kimmy J is foaming at the mouth
To push, destruction is abstraction, sure; Destruction here is used loosely for the sake of Serenity of speaking phrases gone away
Like they all went on a family vacation or something. Bleed, and you will summon presence enough To empty yourself for sleep [Faulkner] or make An infidel of abraham and Split the-
-Planets [Melville] and this cosmos is a trunk Of Blanche Dubois fine french furs, I bet you think this is
That, as on I go in a struggle to prove to everyone That I saw God & junk, on that day I got high On SSRIs and grasped for sense only to find it Under the control of something espionage And aloof, darting eyes not like a villain
But like a Paranoid Raven, then dies me as opposed To not: Reversal of some happy bumps in the day To make up for all the spooky ones in the night That hint at me like the first oncomings of ALS And I have not a feature film but hope the grass Is green as well on this margent of further sides Then abrupt belief, to dive in an' conquer or Repel sense back to Plato's Cave, which is a-
-Reference I shouldnt be using as I oh puritanical collector Of souls, well, I havent read Plato at all but i feel like if i did
Id be made another mans satellite, as Emerson, Somewhat in the vein of Blake, says in his introduction
                     To the essay Nature, I think that's the one. So: A hawk crosses the sky like there was some
A to B GPS followment but it is probably just migrating early. Take everyone back to the city. [Ashbery]
FURTHERANCE
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telrtot · 7 years
Note
All bet
well fuck, you got me
1: name? taylor irl and lacey here cause its cuter2: gender? on the Girly side3: birthday? feburary 5th 20014: age? 165: zodiac sign? aquarius6: sexuality? bisexual with a Strong leaning towards girls7: hobbies? playing d&d and thinking too much about characters i make. i also play a lot of video games and cosplay sometimes8: aesthetic? the night sky, a swirl of purples and blues and shades of grey, bare shoulders, sunsets9: dream home? somewhere in the city, close enough to walk were i need to. rainy weather is prevalent and in a short while i can find myself in the woods.10: OTP? umm not any Main Ones right now but AraSol will always have a special place in my heart11: favorite band/music genre? indie folk and folk rock. ringlefinch is my favorite band but nobody has heard of em. gotye and hozier are also up there in my favorites.12: favorite songs? hell by ringlefinch ; beneath the brine by the family crest ; beekeeper by keaton henson ; heart's a mess by gotye ; third eye by florence and the machine (perfer the demo version tbh)13: do you have a favorite book? if so, what book? mmm, haven't read enough in the last year or so to really make a choice. i used to Love the hunger games books when i was 10 and read Catching Fire 4 times through...if that counts. gosh i need to read more.14: favorite food? chEese. especially in Queso and Fried forms15: favorite TV show? fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood16: favorite character? aradia megido will always be a love of mine. mercy from ow is also a fave of mine.17: favorite animal(s)? foxes, 'cause they remind me of me, and all avians ever, 'cause they are friends.18: favorite color? plum purple and mauve19: favorite beverage? diet dr pepper with cherry20: favorite holiday? new years because every year i watch (bad) anime over at one of my best friends house 21: relationship status? who knows tbh22: last text you've sent? "gotta say, im intrigued to see what you could come up with"23: last text you've received? "as am i"24: last person you told you loved? my mother when she came in to say good night25: last time you felt jealous, and why? probably like an hour ago cause i was looking at selfies of people with nice skin26: are you insecure about anything? my skin, my nose, and my weirdly shapen hips27: where do you want to be right now? 27: where do you want to be right now? playing d&d but alas....28: what are some habits of yours? i bite my nails hardcore, talk really fast when i get excited or nervous, forget to shut cabinets, chew straws, and bite hard candies because i have no self-control29: three turn ons? umm, hm. either sitting in someones lap or having someone sit in mine, nEcK BiTiNG, and when someone wearing plaid or a button up shirt rolls up their sleeves.....30: three turn offs? generally immaturity. if someone - even in a jokin manner - calls me a bitch (especially if its a guy sayin it) not cool not funny please stop talking to me. whEn people can't hold a conversation to save their life (like i might be bad at it but at least i am Tryin, ya feel?)31: do you have kik, skype, or any other social media? i do32: pet peeves? wHen people with a runny nose sniff really loudly and make gross sounds. also when people use their hands or just don't cover their mouths when they sneeze or cough33: what're you wearing? my pjs. why? what r u wearing bbby?34: career goals? medical examiner in the forensic field or someone that travels a lot35: are you a student? yep, in high school36: what country do you live in? america37: do you have any pets? a labradoodle named patrick and a schnauzer named max38: tattoos you have/want? oh boy, that would be its own post. i honestly want quite a few, all in black and white and generally for the Aesthetic39: piercings you have/want? i have regularly lobe piercings and a double helix in my left ear40: morning or night? night41: guilty pleasure band? ninja sex party42: guilty pleasure song? samurai abstinence part by ninja sex party...43: top 5 favorite memes? tag yourself memes ; Gun ; the firefly 'you would not believe you (blank)' one ; maybe the real friends.... ; and those strange animal pictures with Russian captions44: one band you don't get the hype for? i don't know how much hype she has now but i don't really enjoy halsey all that much45: one band you wish more people knew about? rinGLEFINCH46: do you practice any religion? not currently47: do you believe in any form of a God? i believe that there is a God, possibly many, but i cannot say that i believe any doctrine of god is correct48: what do you think happens after we die? i like the idea of reincarnation49: have you ever done alcohol or drugs? i haven't done anything but drugs i have been given by a Doctor and i drank alcohol before....with my parents permission50: what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? not actually dying when i was born 51: what's the best thing that's ever happened to you? not dying when i was born?52: have you ever had a near death experience? my heart stopped beating when i was a baby, so yeah53: is there someone you can tell anything to? myself....?54: what's the most amount of notes you've ever gotten on a post, and what was the post? it was a fallout meme i made and it got like 200 notes i think (maybe the real shaun was the friends we made along the way)55: are you right or left handed? right handed56: Would you be in a relationship (platonic or otherwise) with the last person you texted? If it's a family member, the last person you aren't related to. we are friends, so yeah57: who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? the gaggle of gurl and ungendered pals of have are p good listeners58: would you want to change anything about yourself? make me less of an asshole and actually use my good brain to do work59: what's the first thing you notice when meeting someone? how they react to different brands of humor60: have you ever been hurt by someone you trusted? Who? ex-best friend of mine, who outted me to my family when i was like 1061: have you ever hurt yourself? yeppers. middle school was a rough time for me62: do you believe in an afterlife? maybe63: do you believe in ghosts? sure do64: what should you be doing right now? finishing my garbage dotters spell list like I said i would65: are you pissed at anyone right now? not really66: do you believe everyone has a soulmate, platonic or otherwise? i do, or i at least think the idea is nice67: when is the last time you were scared to tell the truth? i ate my brothers skittles on accident and oh boy was that rough, also pawned it off on my dad68: when is the last time you screwed up something important? everyday my guy69: is there anyone you were close with and are not anymore? there are two that come to mind. one is the ex friend i mentioned before and the other is my actual ex.70: what's the last promise you made? i think i was not play a suicide game that is popular in texas right now? my mom made me promise not to do it cause she's paranoid and honestly i hadn't even heard about it until she brought it up. 71: what's your outlook on life? we are all on a rock floating through space at thousands of miles per hour72: have you ever loved someone who didn't return your feelings? oh boy howdy yes. 73: if you could change your eye color, what would it be? a shade of hazel-green so i look even more ginger74: Are you dating the last person you talked to? nope, i don't believe me and @neoxnocturne are dating. unless we are and he never sent the email confirmation for it, if that's the case then i need the tax report on my desk by monday (short version: just a pal)75: does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? yeah, me and my gay squad do it every time we are together tbh76: do you think someone has feelings for you? yep77: has anyone ever told you they never wanted to lose you? a few come to mind78: do you replay things that have happened in your head? all the time79: have you ever felt replaced? every day if i am being honest80: last person you cried in front of? my mother, about my Ex81: if your ex asked to date you again, would you? um. maybe. i honesty don't know. 82: if you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral? no mercy by the living tombstoNe83: would you ever be in a long distance relationship? have been in one before, so maybe.84: what can make you upset easily? when people refuse to listen 85: do you have a good relationship with your father? depends on the day86: do you have a good relationship with your mother? i like to think so, she's probably who i am closest to87: do you have a good relationship with your siblings? nope88: have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? yeah89: are your parents divorced? no, but i think if they had less kids they would be90: what do/did people say about you in school? im the jokester that goes hard in arguments91: what do/did you say about people in school? depends on the person?92: is any mental or physical illness hindering your life? adhd since i was little, general anxiety, depression, and the potential to further develope bipolarism 93: have you ever had to end a friendship or relationship? why? yeah cause shit happened94: are there things you wanted in your childhood but didn't get? a horse and to learn to ride horses95: have you ever kept a journal? i tried when i was little but also bought a new journal and started a new one so they never got far96: do you believe that birthmarks are scars from past lives? sure, i can get behind that97: if so, do you believe there is a story behind your birthmarks? dont have any98: do you look after yourself? not in the slightest99: do you put yourself or others first? i am a selfish kid who happens to care about select people. i tend to put others first more than i think i should, which is already not a lot.100: Ask your own question! No thanks.
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ravenvsfox · 7 years
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Can you do pynch for the ship thing please
YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I CAN 
(god FINALLY)
SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…
who is more likely to hurt the other?
I mean. Adam doesn’t usually get hurt by ronan so much as he gets annoyed. disappointed. pissed. He never lets ronan’s venom actually get to his veins, he’s too busy telling him how unnecessary the flash of fang is. ronan on the other hand. like. he’s easy to hurt. adam would never in his life want to hurt ronan (it’s his honest to god nightmare) but I think ronan works himself into such a despair at the smallest jealousies and perceived injustices that adam could make one careless comment and ronan would fixate on it
who is emotionally stronger?
ohhhh adam. it’s adam. He’s been dragging so much emotional rubble for so long that he’s built up a tolerance. strong is like The Most adam adjective that I can think of. ronan never had to get to adam’s level of detachment and dissociation bc the first 15 years of his life were gorgeous and easy, and he’s still growing into his protective shell. Adam had to be born in his
who is physically stronger?
it’s ronan tbH he has the upper body strength of a boxer and the broad shoulders of a lynch (but also adam has clever hands and muscular thighs from years of biking everywhere and he can handle himself)
who is more likely to break a bone? 
ouch. They’re both capital R Reckless when they’re together and they have some brutal years under their belts. adam has some poorly set knobbly fingers and ronan has an old snapped clavicle that took forever to heal and constantly bruised knuckles so like. idk. In the future, when adam parrish has escaped from his childhood prison, I’d like to think that they both get ugly minor injuries from doing joyful ramp and dolly and shopping cart type activities only
who knows best what to say to upset the other? 
surprisingly difficult question to answer bc I mean. It’s ronan. but is it? he systematically winds people up and adam is so deeply irritated by him that he straight up walks away, but also adam can be ice cold?? it’s so easy to get to ronan. They both fumble and call each other mean names when they want to compliment each other it’s a big mess
who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 
holy shit would you believe neither??? the most stubborn humans on this earth!! record holders!! we got some emotional repression folks! hooooo boy
adam never starts arguments for no reason so he’s always thinking it through and coming to the conclusion that he’s in the right?? surprise he ain’t apologizing
meanwhile ronan can’t stop being cruel even though he knows it’s hurting people, it’s this vicious self-protective instinct that hurts so good and so wrong. and then his pride gets in the way once he’s cooled down. but he will come to st agnes on his knees and grab adam’s hand and try to make it clear that he’d step on his own pride on the way to adam’s door
who treats who’s wounds more often? 
sad & unfortunate :(( adam treats ronan’s solely bc ronan doesn’t know how the fuck to treat an injury and also ‘none of them wanted to hurt adam parrish’, so ronan’s got his stupid pointless anger related scrapes and adam’s got his anti-bacterial gel and they are a dream team
who is in constant need of comfort? 
neither of them come out on top here man. They’ve had some shared harrowing experiences, and some separate trauma that they’re trying to tell each other about (if their stories could just stop. sticking. when they try to say them out loud). in v different ways, neither of their families are families. Ronan doesn’t let himself fall asleep, and he doesn’t let himself go through things, and the repression starts to calcify into cruelty like it did right after his father died. adam can’t stop thinking about gansey on the roadside, and he can’t be touched some days, most days. he can’t stop swimming or he’ll die. He can’t keep swimming or he’ll die. The gangsey is a critical support system made of so many weak beams
who gets more jealous? 
are u fucking serious,,, it’s both of them pal. remember when every combination of his friends that didn’t include him made adam like. sick with jealousy. remember when ronan saw gansey talking on the phone with adam and wanted to put his hand through a wall. or when adam brought blue along on their quest and he spouted nasty shit the whole day. they both deeply want each others attention and they don’t seem to realize that they already have it? always?
who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 
ohh god. oh man. oh boy. Here’s the thing. adam’s gonna walk away from ronan, but he’s not gonna walk OUT on him. he’s going to walk away because he’s not on a leash, he’s gonna spread those beautiful fucking self-made wings. And ronan is too!! in his own time he’s gonna build his own spaces that aren’t the barns and he’s going to realize what home means to him and they’re both gonna walk out the door and back but never close it behind them
who will propose? 
a controversial topic! I’m on team adam for this one pals. I was on team ‘adam’s gonna kiss ronan first’ for a while before trk like a FOOL and I realized the error of my ways bc ronan is physical as fuck! and a risk-taker! of course he kissed adam smh. But a proposal? That’s a contract. That’s a speech. That’s a chess move. Ronan wouldn’t corner adam like that. Adam knows how ronan feels and more importantly he knows how HE feels himself, and I think one day ten years into their relationship the practicalities are gonna beckon and he’s gonna look ronan in the back of the head while he’s sleeping and roll over into the curve of his spine and tell him he wants a ring on his finger 
who has the most difficult parents?
omg... fuck off
who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 
tactile bastards! both of them! ronan especially wants adam’s hands...., any which way he can get them. I mean. He will kiss adam’s hands when they’re at dinner at nino’s and he’ll hook their fingers together even for the 20 second walk from the BMW to monmouth’s front door like he LIVES FOR IT (adam feels nervy and exhilarated every time it’s gay)
who comes up for the other all the time? 
i mean they’re always together so they don’t really bring each other up. if they’re not together they’re with gansey/blue/henry or even fox way babes/vancouver crowd etc and those ppl get real tired of it real quick. adam usually keeps his ronan related musings to himself though like he has self-control unlike... R.N.L. himself
who hogs the blankets? 
ronan does tbh adam has never hogged anything in his life and ronan is a shit
who gets more sad? 
an unfair Q, man. They’ve both had a super rough time, especially right post-trk?? those few months are hard. Ronan cries a lot. Adam gets numb and far away a lot. They have a lot to be sad about. (But more to be happy about. They made it. They honestly just stare at each other and laugh breathlessly and touch foreheads and hands and scars and can’t believe their luck)
who is better at cheering the other up? 
I sorta said this with ronsey but I think ronan is THE BEST at doing dumb shit to take his mind off of things. Like all that stuff about making adam quiet and turning off the lists and anxieties in his head so that they can do smth mindless and dangerous? yeah that. memes and songs and poor decisions. depression whom?
who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?
this never happens wtf they’re not really ‘playful slappers’ HOWEVER adam will glare at ronan so hard that it probably feels like a slap
who is more streetwise?
it reeeeally depends on your definition of streetwise?? Like if we’re talking survival it’s unquestionably adam. He can fix your car and bandage your wounds and figure out your taxes and make himself invisible and blend his accent into whoever’s around him. He’s wicked sharp and fast on his feet. But i mean. he can’t quite drive stick. and he wouldn’t be caught dead in the sort of underground that ronan ends up in. ronan is streetwise in terms of the actual street, and he knows the most brutal avenues a person can end up on, the real life nightmares that feel closest to the ones in his head. Ronan is smart enough to navigate the chaos, but adam is smart enough to avoid it altogether
who is more wise?
adam. easily. ronan is intelligent and instinctive and talented (or adam wouldn’t get him as well as he does) but adam is a genius and that look behind his eyes..... he’s lived about 1 billion times more than he should’ve by age 19
who’s the shyest? 
neither of them are shy exactly they’re just buried under 9 surface level personalities that you have to crack open with your bare fuckin hands
but if you met either of them in the hallowed halls of aglionby you would think adam was shy and ronan was a rampant fuckwad so based on appearance?? adam. he keeps his head down.
who boasts about the other more? 
as soon as adam is officially his bf ronan takes a ten year long victory lap he’s so embarrassing
who sits on who’s lap?
y’all. we all know ronan sits in adam’s. it’s a fact of life. he probably had a sexy dream about it when he was 17 and took his morning shower in holy water
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nicehaah · 7 years
Text
a sook about the boy who done got me real fucked up
TW for manipulative relationships, i guess. self harm. I’m not sure about not posting this. i’m narcissistic about my social media; i’ve cultivated an online brand of fake fun. The Highlight Reel. but it’s not just about me now, its never been just about me, as i was led to believe. convincing women - not without their own burdens - to be vulnerable, trying to “fix” them to distract you from your own struggles, is perhaps the cruelest form of manipulation that i’ve ever experienced. Considering this, i wrote a thing (coherency not guaranteed).
a bit of pretext: i have anxiety and depression. it’s chill. some people have to take a couple of pills in the morning in order to face the day. some don’t. me and my doctor reckon the orthrus first whined when i was about ten. relatable memes regarding existential dread really get me going. i’ve made my peace with it relatively speaking; it’s chill.
having said that
being Mentally Unwell is shit. taking days off work when sitting up feels like it should be accompanied by a medal, supplemented by anxiety spews because you’re fixating on how your colleagues probably think you’re just lazy, probably resent you for “pulling a sicky” -convincing yourself there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just a sook - you’re not just a sook - that’s the anxiety talking...don’t feel guilty about going off the radar,,, shit mum’s put money in my account again she must be worried. the thought of picking up the phone doing the thing,,,,, the thing where something registers in your brain as physical pain and its almost a black spot in your survey of the room —I might not be linguistically gifted enough to make you feel it, but trust me, it is shit.
it has made me more compassionate. it’s made me more and less aware of Me Me Me. the way i see it, when it comes to mental health, just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s not valid. that statement sounds juvenile, but i think it’s many people’s - it’s certainly mine - innate reaction, to cry “wrong!” when faced with something you can’t quite comprehend. i don’t know what someone with PTSD goes through, or what someone with bipolar goes through, and so when someone opens up about their experience, i try my very hardest to believe and support them, even if empathising is a struggle. no one wants this.
he wielded his, and others’, mental health as a weapon. over the last 24 hours it’s come to light - through scrupulous comparing of timelines, John Tucker style - that he’s used his deteriorating mental health as an excuse to go MIA visiting other women, leaving me mid-meltdown over the ambiguity of his wellbeing. i relapsed into self-harm on this occasion. let me be clear on two counts here. the first: i am not suicidal. the cluster fuck of over thought and catastrophising thoughts in my head sometimes gets debilitating, and superficial cuts is a way to escape the hum. it is a last resort coping mechanism, one that i’m working on. the second thing to make clear is that i’m not blaming my own self-destructive tendencies on him. however being aware of these tendencies and consciously acting in a way that facilitated arguably one of my worst episodes in months, is deplorable.
Tori had a fling with him before he and I did. when i knew that our interactions were not platonic, i spoke with her about it. her story isn’t mine to tell, please bear in mind this is entirely my perspective of the situation. Tori gave her blessing, though with warning to both him and I that she knew he was manipulating me. when hashing this out with Philip, i vividly remember he said to me, “if she’s trying to poison something that’s making you happy, i’m sorry but that’s fucked;” he used Tori’s own mental health struggles as “evidence” that she was lying. he took her biggest insecurity and used it to pit her and i against each other. i believed him over her. Tori Bright 2k17: Trust Yr Gut Not Yr Guy.
i knew about Catarina throughout our relationship. she was a constant source of paranoia and self-doubt. he justified snatching his phone away from me at one point by saying that there were conversations relating to Catarina’s mental health that he didn’t think she’d like if i saw. he called her crazy and possessive. i felt crazy and possessive near the end of our “relationship” too; being being gas-lighted and mind-fucked will do that to you. i reached out to Catarina during my emotionally-devastated-and-feeling-petty phase of dealing with being dumped; her open letter is beautiful and heartbreaking and resonated with me in a nauseating manner. you can read it here: https://medium.com/@CatarinaZissou/philip-8e597c016d1d#.lj0zkucus
after Catarina posted the letter, another woman came forward with an overlapping timeline of being in a relationship with him. her experience largely echoed ours. he showed little to no remorse when i spoke to him yesterday giving him the opportunity to come clean; he was reluctant when i told him to delete all pictures he has of me and other girls. he told me that his feelings for me had diminished a while back but he thought he could “wait it out” until i got sick of him and broke it off myself.
even as I’m writing this I’m thinking shittt girl u need to chill haha have a ciggie then throw yr laptop out the window cheers!!! but na fuck that. fuck pretending to be “chill girl” (h/t Gone Girl). there is an incredible amount of pain in the wake of this raging dumpster fire and it can’t go on. i can find explanation and a certain level of compassion considering what he’s told me of his mental state; that doesn’t excuse his actions. it certainly makes his manipulation of mine and others’ mental states particularly cruel.
protect your friends from this kind of fuckery. i love mine for warning me, and mostly for loving me when i did the stupid thing anyway. me and my trust issues will be in the corner, rubbing each others’ backs, if you’re looking for us.
(also dad called me this afternoon concerned that there might be “compromising” images on his phone. i told him there was a shit tonne of compromising images but i do take a damn good nude and they’re tame enough to be aired by HBO)
#TW
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