#diego struggles so much with his identity

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/06/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; New Events calendar; A Safe Space Ship Event; Watch Parties; Reminders; Cast & Crew Sightings; Clowning; OLD SPICE!; Stats!; Market Research?; Articles; Personal Update; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika

== New Events Calendar from SaveOFMDCrew! ==

More events happening throughout the week! Tumblr Post

Tomorrow is Cosplay Day! Show off your cosplay and OFMD-Inspired outfits with the hashtags: #WearFineThingsWell!

= New Upcoming Event: A Safe Space Ship! =

Sunday, February 11th - Star of India in San Diego, CA! Museum Hrs: 10 am - 5 PM 1/2 Price Tickets!

== Watch Parties ==

Today's WWDITS watch party went great!

Lots of people had fun pointing out our lovely characters from the show (Mads, Taika, Rhys)

It actually went so well the SaveOFMDCrew twitter got banned! It's back though! If you can, please be sure to follow their backup account in case it happens again.

== Reminders! ==

Muppet Treasure Island - Feb 7th 2024 4PM EST, 1PM PST, 9 PM GMT

Watch Party Hashtags:

#MuppetPirates

#AdoptOurCrew

#SaveOFMD

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

This was technically the 5th, but I don't think the excitement happened mostly today so I'm gonna throw it in! So Chaos Dad popped his head out yesterday just long enough to like Samba's BTS post on twitter and then also Samba and Rhys' little exchange.

And of course that triggered clowning since anytime Chaos Dad pops in we don our clown shoes. Thank you to @merryfinches for catching some of the discourse!

== Old Spice! ==

Well well well, we're back to polite menacing brands until they respond to us!

Looks like another Astroglide is starting up, the Crew is out there matching deodorants to characters. Thanks to @brainfugk for calling it out!

== Stats! Stats! Stats! ==

So close fam! Let's keep pushing that UK viewership if you have the time/spoons!

= Market Research Campaign about OFMD Potentially Going On? =

There's some speculation around the market research company YouGov potentially conducting research on OFMD. There's a big thread. Why is this important? Well this company works with streamers to measure viewership data, and if OFMD is in there...and someone's interested, that could be a good sign.

Some folks signed up, and if you're interested in doing so too, you can here.

== Articles ==

Some fun articles tonight, including Hard Drive again!

Joke Article: HBO Max Unveils Ominous New “Don’t Get Too Attached” Category

Our Flag Means Death and 9 Other Best TV Shows and Movies About Pirates

Our Flags Means Death fans get TV licence just to watch pirate show

== Personal Update ==

Some of you have heard, I got the COVID so I may be in and out over the next several days, I'm still trying to make sure I get to recaps though so don't worry! I'll let you know if I can't. Remember to mask up if you can and stay hydrated out there luvs!

== Love Notes ==

Alright lovelies. We've run out of Rhys videos for a few days so you're back to me being irritatingly loving at you! I saw this today on The Latest Kate's instagram and it reminded me of a few things I wanted to say. My brain is a bit covid-fogged so apologies if it's a bit wibbly wobbly.

We all struggle with so many little and big things in our lives. Whether it's mental health, self esteem, a physical ailment, love, lonliness, self-identity, family, friends, world conflicts, or anything, I could go on and on.

I know sometimes it feels like you are pushing so hard and you start making so much progress-- and then something, big or little stalls everything and you feel like you're having to start from scratch again.

I just want to send you a gentle reminder that progress isn't always linear. Just because you have lost momentum doesn't mean you've lost your progress. Every single situation is a learning opportunity and every time you run into a new hurdle, you learn from the last one.

You are wonderfully intelligent, kind, precious, complex people and no matter what you're dealing with, no matter how small or how big, you are moving forward and making headway bits at a time. Remember to be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up for bad days.

We are so proud of you lovelies, remember that.

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's gifs are courtesy of the glorious, brilliant, talented, ever-enabling @celluloidbroomcloset from her post over here.

Ok, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Goodnight all! <3

#daily ofmd recap #ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #daily ofmd recaps #rhys darby #david jenkins #taika waititi #our flag means death #ofmd #save ofmd #save our flag means death #save ofmd crew #adopt our crew

[theduckeminence]

CH! Frida Kahlo Headcanon(s)

As much as I love Frida, I feel like she deserves to have some personality, character, and other stuff about her other than being “the laidback voice of reason”. So here we are:

Frida has confrontational issues. Because of how chilled and laidback she is, she would rather leave or wait things out rather than be direct and confront the problem(s)/conflict(s). She doesn’t take fighting nor arguing very well—thus becoming more passive and dismissive.

They struggle with chronic pain in their legs, mainly in their right leg. Due to their clone mother getting polio at a young age and suffering chronic pain in their leg as a result, Frida ends up inheriting that chronic pain (maybe also suffering from polio at the same age as well?) and thus struggles with it. Winters and cold weather is the worst.

On those occasions where Frida’s leg is in extreme amount of pain, he uses a cane.

Has Alexithymia. Pups cool and laidback attitude is partially due to pups difficulty identifying pups emotions and issues related to interoception. Sometimes either forgets of doesn’t realize pup’s hungry, tired, dehydrated, stressed, etc—hence pup carefreeness. This is a more personal HC as I have this as well, and so I feel she has it too.

While we’re at it, Frida also has ADHD and even experiences autistic traits. They tends to hyper focus HARD on painting murals and getting certain art pieces done. Simultaneously, they also had alot of unfinished works that are lying around their room. Even murals. They also tends to listen more than speak, preferring to be able to consider what they has to say. Uses advice they had learned from others and giving it on. Yet, there are times where they acts out impulsive whenever nervous or excited (i.e. when they crushed on Cleo).

Has sleeping issues related to her ADHD and is the type to sleep at 4 am. Tends to either pace around, paint, or rant to herself or Harriet early in the morning.

Has been masking for all his life and hasn’t realized this until he and Topher became friends. Topher pointed out that his disconnect to his identity and personality is most likely his masking.

OH and I decided—Frida has ✨identity issues✨ and internally struggles to see if pup really is the cool and go-with-the-flow type of person.

Is nonbinary, they/she & occasionally uses he/pup.

Is bisexual—has a preference for woman but occasionally had dated and crushes on men.

Has dated Diego Rivera’s clone son. Didn’t go so well…

Becomes friends with Topher & besties too with Gandhi (ADHD solidarity)

Wears a binder <33

Had a crush on Abe but never said anything about it—only reason they remained cool is because it wasn’t as big of a crush compared to Cleo.

And that’s about it for now!

#ch #clone high #clone high season two #clone high season 2 #clone high reboot #clone high frida #frida clone high #frida kahlo #frida #clone high headcanons

[allisoooon]

if it were up to you, what would be each siblings’ storyline next season? who would have the bigger roles in the main plot?

Luther: I can see him driving the main plot for as long as it takes him to find Sloane.

Diego: He did some damn good plot-driving in s2 and I'd like to see that again. He wasn't super plot-relevant this season, as much as I liked his arc, so let's bring him forward next season.

Allison: Once you're past the anger phase of grief/trauma recovery, you're often finding yourself making up for shit you did during your anger phase. Redemption arc.

Klaus: Boy keeps doing interesting things, but driving the plot hasn't really been one. I think he'll want his powers back, and can have a similar kind of involvement as Luther.

Five: Wouldn't it be hilarious if he was trying to talk his siblings out of saving the world? Though really, what I want to know is what his Super Old self meant by not saving the world. It feels like Five wanted something specific to happen. Did it?

Ben: Self-discovery. And can we get him plot-involved at last? Part of his self-discovery can be that he finally stops defining himself based on other people.

Viktor: Further climbing out of that victim mentality trap. Which they all have to some extent, but Viktor's story has always revolved around it.

Lila: I would fucking love to see a woman struggling with being a mother, maybe struggling with even bonding with their kid (postpartum depression), to show that there's no handbook all women download into their brains that lets them know how to adjust to being a parent. A mother who has to learn how to balance her own independence with the fact that she has a family that needs her now. No loss of her own identity, just a very realistic adjustment. So many first-time mothers especially feel like they were supposed to know how to do everything on instinct, and I want to see Lila unsure if she's a shit mom or if she's just unpracticed.

Sloane: I want Sloane to be the one to find Luther. I want it to be her quest as much as his. And I want her bonding with other members of her new family.

#tua #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #lila pitts #sloane hargreeves #ask answered

[aragarna]

Zorro or Good Omens

For the ask game my dear!

Hello there, my dear old Valley! :)

Sorry it's taken me so long to answer. I *will* answer with a gifset as the "make me choose" game is supposed to be, but that might take even more time because aaaah life. Anyway. So here is why it took me so long:

I actually had to think about that one super hard. It's such a difficult choice to make LOL probably because both shows have characters that resonate quite deeply with me, but regarding different parts of me.

Zorro: I really like the character of Diego, who dedicates his life to help others, is always very considerate and caring and is passionate about trying to make the world a better place. The definition of a Good Guy. I *wish* I had a tenth of his courage and he reminds me to look after others, when it's so easy to get caught up in our own life. So he's someone I understand and look up to.

I guess there's also the struggle to live up to the society's expectations, to his family's expectations, the inability to tell people who he really is. Not that I have a secret identity, but we all, to some degree, wear a mask, hide our true nature and try to live up to people's expectations.

Also the fencing. ;-)

Good Omens: For neither of them you specified which version, but for GO I'll specifically pick the TV show, as I think it resonates a bit more with me. Mostly because it expands Aziraphale and Crowley's characters, and their relationship. As a romantic asexual, I don't often feel represented in fictions. I do get love, I do understand love stories, but I don't get the sex part. Attraction, to me, doesn't translate in wanting to sleep with someone. And given that almost 100% of romances in fiction end in sex, well, there's always a part of those stories that remain foreing. But Aziraphale and Crowley, it's not like that. And I know lots of people do like to add a sex component to the story, but that bit of canon that angels and demons don't have sexual organs (unless they make an effort) is actually important to me. The way I read and feel Aziraphale and Crowley's attraction, it's not physical. They just enjoy each other company. They enjoy that feeling of being together, discussing together, seeing the world different through the other's eyes. They like the world better with the other in it. But they don't sleep together. It's been clearly said that after S1 they carved their own bit of a existence for themselves. They have their phone calls and dates, and Crowley comes to the bookshop, etc... So they *are* in a relationship. It's just not sexual (and I really hope Neil will keep it that way, cause it's important to me)

Also, there's the whole Good vs. Evil, more theological discussion that the show handles really well. I love how it's making fun of all the contradictions of the Bible and the Christian religion. But also how being Good in a complicated world is *hard*. Being Good sometimes requests courage and questioning one's own believes. And standing up to your boss.

And it's hilarious, when it's not heartbreaking. It's silly, in a very absurd British way.

So, there, this is what went all through my head. because of the difference in popularity, I feel like Zorro is more personal. Everyone loves GO. It's all over the internet. There's like a new fic every 20 min or something (actual stats I've seen floating around). So for some reason, it makes me feel depossessed of it. While the Zorro fandom is me and 5 people, 3 of which prefer the 1990 show. But on the other hand, Zorro is an old thing (1919!), and it says a rather "classic" story (he's the spiritual father of all the superheroes, after all), while GO is much more unique and modern. It's an important piece of fiction.

#a meme! #rambles #zorro #good omens #about me

[tweakerist]

is the craig in ur fic peruvian? :D

AMAZING QUESTION AND I'LL SHOW U WHY!!

first of all though i will answer it lol fhabdhfhs i don't make it explicitly clear in nyi but yes, when i write craig i can't really separate him from the hc he's peruvian mainly because i live in latin america and i love representation, you'll see that in my fic craig speaks spanish fluently!

now, as to why i was so excited to answer this!

in the first original draft of nyi, which of course i keep in a different document, craig wasn't threatened by his parents to go to the military, laura actually wanted to send him to peru with his bio father, here's sc if you're interested on reading an excerpt of it:

now, you may wonder why i scrapped this idea and changed it to the military instead. the answer basically boils down to the tone i intended for the fic.

the first and most important aspect that i wanted to explore when i started writing nyi, was that i wanted to write a coming of age, self discovery story of an autistic teenager struggling with his sexual orientation and all that comes with it in a small conservative town, BUT i didn't want it to be completely angst fueled, i wanted nyi to be realistic but hopeful as well, with touches of humor and lightheartedness. so i felt like, considering all the identity struggle that comes with figuring out your sexuality, if i added the weight of thomas not being craig's bio dad, and it being this kind of dividing ridge between the family, it'd make the story much more heavy than i intended. i didn't want craig's peruvian roots and his biological father end up being a side plot that barely gets mentioned either because i feel like that'd do a disservice to a very interesting idea that could be explored in the future (;) wink wink) so i decided to change it and stick to the canon family members.

will i ever write openly peruvian craig and his bio dad diego hc in a different fic? if u wanna read it then yes, but when i finish writing nyi :)

#sorry for the long reply i love gushing about nyi #yes craig will always be peruvian in my fics #nyi fic

[juleskelleybooks]

About My Books: A Guide to the Current Works

The Moonrise trilogy is the only one still with a publisher. It's got werewolves and vampires, so it gets slotted into paranormal or contemporary fantasy, which is close enough, but the werewolves and vampires are more cryptid-like than supernatural. Edge of the Woods is out now, and there are two more books in the series; Night Is for Hunting is currently in edits and delayed, and then Wilderness of Horrors will be the final volume. It features three main POV characters -

Haley, mid-20s, bisexual, 50 pounds of chaos in a 25 pound bag, and a werewolf struggling to feel at home in the alpha position of her pack.

Leland, late-20s, bisexual, human, chronically tired, life's mantra is "well, somebody's gotta do it," currently regretting his career path in law enforcement due to a clash of his ideals with the realities of the system.

Diego, late teens/early 20s, gay, used to be a human and is real mad that he isn't anymore, gotta go fast, also possibly trying to date a vampire from the nearby colony that the werewolf pack is forbidden to contact.

Buy Links can be found here: https://books2read.com/u/mZQeey

The Southern Sapphics short stories are 99 cents on Amazon or free on my Payhip, and are set in Alabama. Grace knows her crush on her brother's best friend Maya isn't unrequited and is very determined to make it go somewhere. Contains three volumes so far: Swelter (v steamy), Soak (contemplative), Shiver (cozy). Tentative future stories are planned.

Welcome to the Show is a complete rewrite of the last novel I released as M. Jules Aedin, Lovegames. I had pretty much complete creative control over this, for better or for worse, and owe a debt of gratitude to Skye Kilaen for pre-reading the old version and helping me identify places I wanted to make changes...which turned out being pretty much all of it. I went into it with much more understanding of what made my characters tick, and had a great time centering queer experiences and environments and different queer identities more than I was able to in the first version. It does deal with some heavy mental health issues, but I'm happy with how it was handled. Paperbacks are available on Amazon, and the ebook is available on Amazon or on my Payhip. If you go through Payhip (storefront juleskelleybooks), the code QUEERJOY will make it free for you at checkout. Currently the coupon does not have an expiration date.

Upcoming:

Other than Night Is for Hunting, my next projects that are closest to being done are Stars Still Fall, a Southern Gothic set in the 1990s about a girl with complicated feelings for her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend and who is also being haunted; and a rewrite of Windows in Time, one of my other old out of print titles that needs reworking for me to be happy with putting my name on it again.

There's about a dozen other WIPs in various stages of doneness, and I look forward to the day they're ready to share!

#thought this might be helpful for some people! #jules kelley #self published authors #authors of tumblr #writeblr

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb: Her ex-boyfriend wants her back. Her former best friend is in town. When did Hannah’s life become a K-drama? Hannah Cho had the next year all planned out—the perfect summer with her boyfriend, Nate, and then a fun senior year with their friends. But then Nate does what everyone else in Hannah’s life seems to do—he leaves her, claiming they have nothing in common. He and all her friends are newly obsessed with K-pop and K-dramas, and Hannah is not. After years of trying to embrace the American part and shunning the Korean side of her Korean American identity to fit in, Hannah finds that’s exactly what now has her on the outs. But someone who does know K-dramas—so well that he’s actually starring in one—is Jacob Kim, Hannah’s former best friend, whom she hasn’t seen in years. He’s desperate for a break from the fame, so a family trip back to San Diego might be just what he needs…that is, if he and Hannah can figure out what went wrong when they last parted and navigate the new feelings developing between them.

Review:

Summer is here and Hannah Cho is about to have her entire world upside down. When her boyfriend dumps her because he claims they have nothing in common and when she begins to realize that he and her friends are newly obsessed with K-pop and K-drama while Hannah is not... Hannah comes up with a plan to win him back by getting into it.... yet her mom surprises her with news: her best friend and her family are going to be staying with them for the summer... aka: Hannah’s childhood best friend who ghosted her to become a famous K-drama star is coming back into town after 3 years of silence. Jacob Kim was Hannah’s best friend but after a big fight he left and never spoke to her again and now he’s coming back into her life, into her house... and all the old pain is coming back. 

Jacob Kim is one of the most popular upcoming K-drama stars. He’s miserable. He misses his best friend, he misses having freedom, and he misses just being able to take a second for himself. His entire life is monitored, from what he eats, how he acts, and even who he pretend dates. So when he injures his ankle and a long lost uncle is claiming to have a scandalous story to sell out about him, his company decides that he should lay low and when his mom says they get an offer to stay at her best friends house it means Jacob gets to reunite with the one person he knows will be complicated. Jacob has a bucket list for what he wants to do while back in San Diego... and he blackmails Hannah into helping him but as they begin to spend more time together the spark and friendship that was there begins to spark again and soon both of them start to realize that they’re perfect for each other.

But what’s life if not complicated, especially for a famous actor? Soon Jacob will have to face a difficult choice: to keep his career despite how miserable it makes him or to finally pursue his own happiness? Filled with misunderstandings ( worthy of any K-drama), romance, cute bucket list trips, rekindled friendship, and so much more, this was a fantastic and adorable read, I loved that we got to read from both Hannah and Jacob’s POVS and that we can see how they both have different pains and struggles and how they both love and cherish the other. This was an adorable friends to lovers romance, and this is perfect for fans of K-dramas ( seriously make it happen yall I want to see this as a movie or a series).

*Thank you Inkyard for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

#book review #bookish #romance read #romance book #book

[noveltyreads]

Seoulmates by Susan Lee Book Review

ARC kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

If you need a happiness boost, you have to read Seoulmates.

I absolutely devoured this book from start to finish. It was light, fluffy, absolutely readable and I found myself falling deeper and deeper in love with it with every page. It had everything I wanted: a summer romance, friends to lovers, angsty teenage main character and soft, actor love interest who honestly just needed a hug. This book has been on my to-watch list of 2022 and when I managed to get the ARC of it on NetGalley, I practically screamed in delight. 

Seoulmates follows main character Hannah whose boyfriend just broke up with her, claiming they have nothing in common. When Hannah's childhood best friend, and now up and coming K-Drama actor, Jacob Kim comes back from South Korea, Hannah uses his knowledge to aid her in getting Nate to be with her again. What Hannah leaves out of the equation is her developing feelings for Jacob as they uncover what really went wrong that caused a rift in their friendship previously. 

This book is told in two perspectives: Hannah's and Jacob's. I think this worked perfectly with the story and it allowed us to get further glimpses into their characters including their vulnerabilities and their desire, ultimately, to be loved. Hannah was trying to fit in with her American friends thinking that in order to do that, she needed to shut out the Korean part of her Korean-American identity. This in turn made Nate and his friends drift away from her, making the very thing Hannah was shunning out the thing that set her apart from the others. You could see the toll this took on Hannah and how underneath that angsty girl facade, there was a girl who just felt scared, sad and vulnerable. I could see how she just wanted to feel okay again and how she felt like in order to do that, she needed to prove herself worthy of Nate's affections. In the end, I'm glad she developed on her self-worth and self-esteem, realising that maybe things would never have worked out with him to begin with. 

Jacob on the other hand was seemingly living a dazzled life in South Korea but the truth was far from it. He was an actor in a popular new K-Drama show which just got renewed for a second season. After a PR disaster, his management tells him to take a holiday while they deal with the problem. Jacob and his mum and sister decide to head back to San Diego for the first time in years. While Jacob questions his future on a TV show with restrictive rules on what he can and can't do, he starts to feel a little bit stressed from the pressure his manager and co-star put on him, telling him he's not good enough at his job. Eager to take a break, Jacob tries getting as far away from the spotlight as possible with the company telling him not to bring any attention to himself. Jacob's internal struggle was with being good enough for other people and you could see this conflict between what he loved doing (acting) and the expectations others had on him to be up to par. 

I loved how both character's flaws were really shown in this book and I think that's why I found I could relate to the characters as much as I did. Hannah was angsty but you could see how much she cared especially with how she wanted to become an immunologist to help people with allergic reactions after seeing how it affected someone she knew. While she tried hiding it on the inside, you could see past the facade and I liked how the book dealt with breaking down those shields Hannah put up around herself. Jacob was slightly more transparent in my opinion, but I loved seeing how gentle he was with Hannah and his compassionate and warm nature. 

On top of the characterisation, I really liked the family dynamics between the Cho's and the Kim's. I love books with family at heart and great banter and it makes me so happy when said family dynamics also come with home-made food and cooking. This book made me hungry for Korean food so my recommendation is to have a few snacks on hand while reading this. 

All in all, this book made me happy, with cute, relatable characters and deep themes. Minus, the vomiting scene at the start, this book, to me, is close to five stars. 

ACTUAL RATING: 4.7 STARS 

#ya #young adult #ya romance #romance #seoulmates #bts #kdrama #korean #kpop #RM #book review #reviewer #book reviewer #bibliophile #booklr #bookish #bookstagram #book obsessed #bookaholic #cute romance #fluffy romance #susan lee #book recs #book recommendations #five star book #reading #read #happy books #happy

[shadows-of-a-memory]

neal caffrey

back to white collar masterlist

romantic

one-shots

the high might be theirs (but all the bottles were mine)

(technically a two-shot) you’re in love. in love with danny brooks, your childhood best friend. when it turns out the affection is mutual, you two begin dating. then, danny finds out about his past: his real name is neal, and he was moved to witness protection when he was two due to his father being a dirty cop. you’re left alone, abandoned, unloved. a few years later, though, danny-neal shows back up, and you’re forced to figure put how to handle his reappearance. based off of “nothing else i could do” by ella jane

series

of small mines and subtle misdirections

(top gun!crossover) (bradshaw!reader) your life is pretty much perfect. oh, you have your bad days, your struggles, your fights, but you’re married to the love of your life, have the best kids you could hope for, and work with your best friends at a job you love kicking criminal ass. but when a case takes you out to san diego, familiar ghosts come back to haunt you and you find that sometimes running from your past only makes its shadow longer.

dawn ‘til dusk (and through the night)

(dc!crossover) (series of oneshots) you’ve been in love with pining a normal amount after neal caffrey for… far longer than you should. it’s part of why you’re the only person that figures out his real identities as both dick grayson and nightwing. this, as one might guess, causes a lot of conflict… both with suspicious superheroes and your paranoid coworkers. at least it can’t get any worse than this.

of refractions in reflections

(mcu!crossover) (stark!reader) when the universe was destroyed following the four infinity snaps, somehow instead of dying you find yourself having traveled back in time—just in time to fix things on the front end and sace the world, right? wrong. you’re exhausted. you’ve tried to save the world too many times to care now. so, instead, you create a new identity, separate from your family legacy. create a life, a niche, in an equally new and old world. unfortunately, things don’t always work out that well, especially not for a stark—no matter how hard you may try to run from the name.

pulling out the fray ‘til it comes undone

(national treasure!crossover) (no y/n used) Your mother was a crappy parent, the picture in the dictionary beside “negligent”. Your neighbors ended up raising you, taking you in but not adopting you after her death when your father decided against doing so. Not that you expected differently—he was absent. You had had time to resign yourself to your situation and his lack of involvement—but decades later, a chance encounter that may not be chance per se, means you might find out that all you lived was a lie.

platonic

one-shots

none yet

series

you're saying your goodbyes (before you've arrived)

So, why would you run, dear? When all that you'll find You had what you need, but you just couldn't see What was already there the whole time The problem with running your past is that somehow, someday, it always catches up. And following suicide mission after suicide mission, it certainly could have picked a better time to come knocking. Because when does anything go the way you want?

the life and times of y/n caffrey

multiple series’ following the adventures of neal's younger sister, in order: *nothing they say is enough (so they don't say anything) *walk away *to be added

everything money could buy

(mcu!crossover) (dc!crossover & dick grayson!neal caffrey) bruce wayne is… maybe not the greatest dad. so far, the number of you hiding from him in new york city has reached three, which is only 37.8%, but thats basically 40%, which is basically 50%, which is basically 100%. so yeah. you’re totally justified in living your life with definitely no thoughts at all to your father. you’ve moved on. except… when tragedy hits, you find that maybe you haven’t, after all.

when the sun clouds over (will you be by my side?)

Loyalty is probably the most important thing for you. With how many times you’ve been betrayed, knowing that the people by your side will stay there no matter what, is one of the most sacred things to you. It’s a belief held that only increases when you join SHIELD and enter the game. When your brother, the person who you trusted above everyone else to stick by you, betrays that trust, will you be able to learn how to trust the others around you once again? And when he comes back, needing a favor, will you be able to put aside the knife in your back and assist him, or is that too much to ask on his part?

#navigation

[sungbeam]

BESTIE BAEEEEEEEEE

I’m back 🤭🤭🤭

Tbh its been a rough few weeks 💀 ALSO HELP HOW COME EVERY TIME I DISAPPEAR YOU WHIP OUT SO MANY SCRUMPDILIUMPTIOUS FICS LIKE??? Not that I’m complaining tho 😋😋

Firstly, Occupied… hmmm mhmnn yeahh lemme just say that your impulsive thoughts are so valid 😔🙏 buT J E S U S DID YOU HAVE TO PUT MY HEART IN THE CROSSFIRE- I think I had to stare at my ceiling for a bit afterwards cause like damn… I love my man🗿

Secondly, Rhapsody Anonymous… had my kicking my feet as per usual 🙄🙄 and tbh the fact that both parties were valid in their reasoning for not wanting to out each other and tbh I would also be struggling on deciding whether to spill my identity or not 😭😭 but it was saUR SITIEKR CUTE 😭 man I feel like I set myself up each time I read/re-read the love in unity series cause each time they just call me more and more single and alone 😔💔 BUT FRET NOT I WILL USE THIS AS MOTIVATION AND LECTURE NOTES ON HOW TO GET A GOOD MAN 😤‼️

ALSO OMG DID YOU WATCH BARBIE YET??? Ok I think I gotta calm down I’ve been using too many caps 💀 but Lip Gloss is so Barbie too and the MV is literally a bunch of Kens doing Beach and you can’t convince me otherwise 😤☝️

My personal ranking of the album would be:

1. Fantasize

2. Fire Eyes

3. Passion Fruit

4. Lip Gloss

5. Lighthouse

6. Fairy Tale

But I honestly love all of them and I’ve listened to the album non-stopppppp!

Also yesss I did watch the zeneration behind and tell my whyyyyy New and Kevin ATE 🫣

Also the newest lip gloss mv behind took me OUT esp Changmin wiping TF OUTTTT with the volleyball net like eye- 💀💀

Also just to sneak in a lil abt the pcs… you din’t want to see the Totoro pcs… TRUST 😨😨 not safe for my mental health at ALL

Ouuu also my turn!

1. My fav bread would have to be seed bread! Not like, multigrain bread and idk if the right name is seed bread but it’s just in the name it’s bread made with a bunch of seeds mixed in 😭😭

2. My quirky snow app filter pics… oooooohhhh I hope those never see the light of day again 💀

3. No. 🗿

(But also just like you said, I’m patient but I’m also getting a lil bit impatient at the same time 😔)

4. The Robinson’s kid from meet the Robinsons…. Also Diego,,, and the Kratts broth-*gets shot*

Oh and maybe a few more questions!

1. Are you a tea person or a coffee person? What’s your fav drink?

2. Do you have a sweet tooth? If so, what’s your fav pastry?

3. If you could recommend any MUST HAVE food from your culture, what would it be?

(Can you tell that I’m craving a midnight snack rn 💀)

Oh also! I finally decided to start of my getting-back-into-reading journey with reading a book that has intrigued me and has been floating around a lot, Bunny by Mona Awad! I’ll let you know how it goes in a lil solo book club way 🫡

“I don’t know what they’re called, the spaces between seconds— but I think of you always in those intervals.” (Salvador Plascencia)

- Smooches + Smooches, 🌷 anon

omgg hi bestie 🤧🤧 what's been rough for u 😔 have u started school yet ☹️💔 im like,,, not ready to go back to uni, i wanna be a professional couch potato pls and thanks 😔

LOL pls (´Д⊂ヽ occupied was such a spur of the moment thing 💀 literally was going through MAJOR eric sohn brainrot and just had to get my thoughts down before i Combusted. bro... stared at my ceiling for a good while trying to find the perfect pics for that banner 😭 why's he gotta look that yummy 😭

aknfksnfkdkdk glad u liked rhaps anon bffie !!! bro frfr like this series is just me PROJECTING 💔💔💔 im projecting so VIOLENTLY it's embARRassing 💀 omg low-key i just remembered i pretty much based sunwoo's anonymous situation w how tumblr anons work 😭😭 but yeah for sure, i would also be kind of panicking over secret identities skfnkdnf

OMG I DID WATCH BARBIE I WATCHED IT ON PREMIERE NIGHT AND GOT GLAMMED UP !!! ur sooooooo so right omG??? lip gloss really is just a bunch of Kens doing Beach 😭😭 they're all Kenough for me tbh skcbsjnf but ugh omg im like obsessed w kevins little kick in the beginning of the choreo, and eric's one other jump thing, and chanhee's red light green light skfnkenfkdnfj such a good mv w so much fic potential tbh !!

hmmmm i haven't been listening to it as obsessively as i did be awake tbh 😭 maybe i'm just tired of summer songs 💔 but i would have to say i liked fantasize, fairytale, and fire eyes the most!! the whole album is a bop tho i do agree 🤸‍♀️😋

OH MY GOSH DO U MEAN NYUKEV ON THE STRIPPER POLES WKFNKENFKDNF HELP I SAW THAT CHANGMIN CLIP TOO 💀💀 I LAUGHED SO HARD IM SORRY CHANGMIN DONT HURT ME— omg but they were filming a variety show too and changmin lost a game and abused his gopro 😭😭😭 i felt so bad for that camera, but also low-key....... can that be me...

VRO I ALREADY SAW THE TOTORO ONES AKDNKSNFJD i was debating getting the album or joining a go for those special pcs but i ended up not doing it 😔

LMAO IM SORRY but when i saw seed bread, i just immediately thought of birds 😭😭 unrelated but i got a birb plush from daiso a couple days ago and i named him clyde 😎😎 THE SNOW FILTER APP SJFJKSJDJD I FEKT THAT DW 😭 OMG DIEGO UR SO RIGHT !!! (゜-゜) like sorry dora, ur cousin is much more entertaining ksnfkend

OMGGG i really need to start reading again 😭 it's awful how i can't even pick up a book anymore it's so embarrassing being an english major like this 💔 BUT YES PLS LMK HOW U LIKE IT o7

"& how many times have you loved me without my asking? how often have i loved a thing because you loved it? including me." - D. Smith, acknowledgements

— i love love loved you, and i'll love you all over again too 💖

#sungbeam strikes again #🌷 anon

[jdgo51]

Step 1: Consult Your Friend Jesus

Today's inspiration comes from:

Sacred Pace

by Terry Looper

If my life proves anything, it’s that we often approach the Lord with our minds already made up. In those instances, we’re actually not engaging Jesus at all; we’re asking Him to sign off on our wishes. I’m not saying we do this consciously, but it’s very easy to fall into this trap. Especially if we have not learned to vigorously question ourselves.

To consult Jesus in prayer as the first step in our decisions helps to “unmake” our minds. It allows time for the Great Revealer, the Holy Spirit, to peel away the layers and expose not only our true desires but all the ways we’ve covered them over. It softens our hearts and inclines our ears toward Jesus. Reminds us that we are not God. And opens our eyes to our real intentions.

Why Jesus?

You may wonder why I’ve specified Jesus here. While theologians generally agree that we can seek out any member of the Trinity for help — God the Father, Christ the Son, or the Holy Spirit — I focus this chapter on Jesus for a few reasons.

First of all, I want everyone who reads this to know how good and loving He is. Second, having been “God with us” up close and personal, He can relate to us and us to Him. He walked among us on this earth; wore a physical body with its temptations and hungers, needs, and wants; and faced exactly the kinds of struggles that we do — yet without any failing. This makes Him a wonderful role model and example. Finally, I focus on Jesus because what really elevated my faith to the next level as a new Christian was making a new friend. And not just any friend, but the One who would become my Friend and Business Partner, Jesus.

His unlimited love and acceptance toward me altered my life in every way.

After I tried for so long to fill the hole inside of me with money, success, and people pleasing, God gave me the faith (through much pain) to start looking to Jesus, and nothing has been the same. As I grew still, opening myself day after day to His love and direction, I began to see Jesus as never before. The more I talked with Him in prayer, the more my heart and mind changed. And as they did, I was able to turn from my old ways of thinking and be in a position for His will — and especially His own heart toward me — to be clearly revealed.

Jesus' delight is felt most freely when we approach Him with open arms Experiencing Christ's Love

Therapy got the ball rolling, helping me to understand that my entire identity had been wrapped up in a desperate quest to succeed and please others. During these intensive sessions, the insecurities and sinful pride behind all my striving were laid bare. Meanwhile, God’s Word was transforming my mind, helping me discover the Terry Looper whom God had created rather than the straw man my upbringing and my own rush of desires had constructed.

Freshly aware that I’d never felt truly, unconditionally loved by anyone, I longed even more for the Lord to let me experience His love for me. The little boy in me deeply desired it, and the man I was needed it, because I didn’t want to exist on head knowledge anymore.

I craved an expression of love that would penetrate my heart and settle deeply into my soul, and so I humbly asked God for just that.

My prayer was answered many months after my burnout, while Doris and I were vacationing at a hotel on the beach in San Diego. Nothing dramatic preceded the moment. I was simply lying in bed one morning, praying and enjoying the quiet as the ocean waves played their rhythm outside our window. In that peaceful setting, I felt myself being embraced by an overwhelming warmth and tenderness that, even years later, I have trouble putting into words. There was so much affection and acceptance in it, I couldn’t stop crying.

I knew that Jesus was with me and that He noticed me. Really noticed me. It was what the little boy in me had always wanted from my parents; now I was receiving it from the One who sacrificed His life for me.

Doris saw a real difference in me after that. She says this is when I finally understood I didn’t need to be perfect to be accepted by God. This experience of unexpected love was so personal and so profound that it opened the door for me to understand Jesus not only as my Lord and Savior but as a real Friend with whom I could discuss any concern or challenge.

Relating to Him as I would any close friend — where there is trust, devotion, honesty, and frequent communication — had a great impact beyond my prayer life. For one, it later made getting neutral in my decisions a whole lot easier. Relating to Him so personally also helped me start applying God’s Word more personally, as written to me directly, not just to humanity at large.

Letting Jesus love me altered my love for others too.

Now that absolutely everything was new in my eyes, I was eager for everything to be made new in my world. His great love made me even more zealous to restore the damage I’d done to my relationships. Yet it was obvious that I had a lot of work to do to regain people’s trust, particularly within my own family.

For example, it took about three years of me being present in my youngest daughter’s life before she stopped being wary of my motives. My therapist would tell me, “Just hang out with your girls.” I didn’t know how at first, but Doris encouraged me: “Go sit on the floor in Jeannie’s room while she’s in there. She’ll talk to you.”

Eventually she did start talking, and as we connected, those occasional conversations turned into frequent ones. By the time Jeannie graduated from high school, she and I had eaten breakfast together nearly every day since her eighth-grade year. It didn’t make up for all the dinners I’d missed when she was younger, but I’m grateful she was willing to forge this tradition with me. Picking up my eldest, Tanya, after her gymnastics practices and going by the donut shop afterward also allowed us to establish a new relationship. These are some of my best memories ever.

Christ rebuilt my relationship with my wife as well. Doris and I were so into our “new” marriage (a marriage that was then nearing twenty years) that we would go away for a weekend every other month or so to take inventory and talk. We never knew what the time would be like — whether it would be quiet and prayerful, physically intimate, or tinged with disagreement — but when we left, we would often remark to each other how worthwhile it was.

I’ve heard of others becoming more whole in their soul just by experiencing Jesus’ love too. Sadly, based on the number of Christians I’ve spoken to about this, it’s apparently not unusual to go many years (or an entire lifetime!) without a deep sense of our Lord’s love. Rather than excitedly crawling up on Jesus’ lap as we can imagine the children in the Gospels doing, we remain guarded, distant. We’re wary of being hurt. Scared that we may not be lovable. As a result, a lot of people do what I did: they get busy “being Christian” — doing and performing to gain Christ’s approval — if they don’t give up on Him altogether.

Prayer brings us close and starts to reestablish trust. It is conversation; it is attention and affection passing between Heaven and earth. It is what enables us to let Jesus’ wholehearted love in.

His delight is felt most freely when we approach Him with open arms.

To engage with Jesus as a real person rather than a vague concept took away so much pressure for me. It wasn’t about me being good enough anymore. I no longer flippantly viewed Him as my spiritual Santa Claus either. Yes, He cared to do kind things for me; yes, He was generous to me; but now it was about slowing down to enjoy the sweetness of friendship and connect deeply with Him. I was realizing that Jesus really wants to be my Friend — He is invested in helping me figure out this thing called life, and He never, ever turns me away.

When I understood this in my soul, I understood it is no more self-serving to befriend Him than it is to share your life with anyone you love. Jesus wants intimacy and relationship! He is excited and pleased when we invite Him into our lives.

Excerpted with permission from Sacred Pace by Terry Looper, copyright Terry Looper.

RepostEmoji

[itsthenovelteafactor]

Fall of the House of Hargreeves

So I mentioned a while back in my Superhero Gothic meta that there were a number of parallels between the season one finale of The Umbrella Academy and the Edgar Allen Poe short story The Fall of the House of Usher and that I could probably write a whole meta on that if anyone was interested. Shout out and love to the anon who requested that I do that! 

It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these long form metas, but I am very excited to get back to writing about two of my favorite things: gothic literature and chaotic superheroes. 

Part I: The Fall of the House of Usher

The Fall of the House of Usher (which I’ll call House of Usher for convenience for the rest of this meta) is a short story by Edgar Allen Poe first published in 1939. It is considered a classic gothic short story, and deals with themes of family, madness, inheritance, and isolation. 

Since it’s in the public domain, I’ll go ahead and link a pdf to the story here. If you aren’t interested in reading, though, or just want a refresher, the story follows an unnamed narrator going to visit his ill friend, a man named Roderick Usher in his isolated (and very spooky) family estate. Upon arrival, he discovers that Roderick’s sister, Madeline Usher, is also ill, and has a tendency to fall into dreamlike trances.

Over the course of the visit, Roderick confesses to the narrator that not only does he believe the house is alive, but that it is connected to the fate of the family which, at this point, only includes Roderick and Madeline. He later comes and tells the narrator that Madeline has died, and enlists his help in order to bury her in the family tomb beneath the house. They do so, but for the next couple of days Roderick is suspiciously...on edge. 

Then, one dark and stormy night, Roderick shows up in the narrator’s room incredibly worked up, and throws open the window, and starts low-key (read: high-key) having a breakdown. The narrator is unsure as to why until he hears ripping and tearing sounds coming from somewhere in the house. These ripping and tearing sounds are revealed to be Madeline whom Roderick and the narrator buried alive whose appearance scares Roderick to death, right before she collapses, also dead from the strain of tearing through the foundations of the house.

The narrator decides this would probably be a good time to leave and is very much right about that because as soon as he leaves, the house (which was already in pretty bad shape) splits in two and collapses into the lake surrounding it. The end.

Part II: Umbrella Academy as Gothic

So, there are probably a couple similarities between House of Usher and The Umbrella Academy season one that stand out right off the bat, but I’d like to start by taking a step back to talk about thematic parallels between the two works. If you’d like to read a very long winded explanation of why I consider The Umbrella Academy to be a modern gothic tale, I have a really long meta about it. 

If not, here’s a quick overview:

Gothic does not have a clearly defined set of requirements as a genre, but its purpose is to explore the contradictions and the failing edifices of convention in a way that is dramatic and often fantastic. 

Gothic fiction plays with reality, but usually in a way that is representative of the characters and story. 

It often situates itself during times of great change, as there is something haunting about the irreversible passage of time, particularly for those that struggle to acknowledge it and hide behind conventions that have grown increasingly irrelevant. 

Poe is considered one of the classic authors of gothic fiction (though the genre significantly predates him), and is decidedly one of the best well-known examples of it. 

The Umbrella Academy is a family drama about former child superheroes dealing with their trauma while trying to prevent an apocalypse that their every move seems to set further in motion. It explores the messy and complicated relationships between siblings who have been abused and pit against each other for years. And yeah, it’s fun with great music and talking gorillas and dance sequences, but the premise is kind of hard for me to read as anything other than gothic.

Part III: Parallels

Like House of Usher, the first season of Umbrella Academy takes place in a massive, largely empty mansion where siblings gather with disastrous consequences. Both works explore a family that is past their prime and disconnected from the present. They also both explore the psychological toll of isolation, the consequences of tyrannical family rules, and why it is a really bad idea to lock your unstable sister in a basement and just leave her there. 

Let’s start with some thematics parallels. Everyone in House of Usher is extremely isolated, and the absence of anything resembling the modern world amongst the house full of relics is part of the horror. All of the siblings in Umbrella Academy are defined by their isolation as well, physically (Luther, Five, and Ben), socially (Vanya, Diego, Klaus, and Allison), and emotionally (legit all of them). It is this isolation that drives the conflict of the story, feeding into every characters’ choices. 

In both House of Usher and Umbrella Academy, the main characters are trapped in this isolated state as a direct result of their familial legacy. In House of Usher, the titular house is a character itself, a manifestations of the obligations Madeline and Roderick hold as members of an aristocratic family that is so far divorced from wealth and status that it keeps them from ever fully moving on and rejoining the real world. In Umbrella Academy, the characters are similarly trapped by their familial legacy, this time in the form of the specter of their abusive father, and the roles he created for them. Like the Usher siblings, the Hargreeves have no way of maintaining the roles their family left out for them – they were never given the tools to function in the real world and it cripples them – but are trapped in them regardless. 

Part IV: The Woman* in White 

*As of the time I am writing this, nothing has been said regarding Vanya’s gender identity being written to match Elliot Page’s. I am using she/her pronouns for Vanya, as that is what has been used for the character thus far. 

Aside from thematic parallels, however, the most direct connection between the short story and series, and in fact the reason I was inspired to write this meta in the first place is the way both of the stories end: with a sister trapped beneath the house clawing her way out to face her brother(s and sister) and creating a disruption of the family legacy so great that the entire estate crumbles.

Madeline Usher is described at this point as wearing a white dress, strained with the injuries she sustained from physically breaking herself out of the basement tomb her brother buried her alive in. Vanya, of course, becomes at this moment the White Violin, and though she has not yet had the epic violin-music-so-powerful-it-changes-the-color-of-her-clothes scene, the principal still stands.

As characters, there are also a couple of noteworthy parallels between Vanya and Madeline. The narrator at one point describes “the illness of the lady Madeline had lone been beyond the help of her doctors. She seemed to care about nothing” (Poe, 27). The reader never knows what illness precisely is the cause of Madeline’s apparent madness, but we see the effects. It dulls her emotional responses to situations and leaves her withdrawn and powerless. Similarly, we learn over the course of the first season of The Umbrella Academy that the medication Reginald Hargreeves prescribed Vanya for her anxiety is actually a power suppressor for her abilities that has much the same effect – because they are strengthened by extreme emotion, the drugs numb Vanya’s emotional responses and deprive her of the ability to access her powers.

Additionally, the final scene of the story story shows Madeline escaping her tomb during a great storm and going to face her brother who put her there, the storm itself being a metaphor for her anguish that tears the house apart. Vanya’s connection to the destruction of the house is a bit more literal, but it is similarly a manifestation of her anguish and trauma. She sees flashbacks of her siblings being distant and rude to her in their childhoods and the anger she feels rips the foundation apart. 

It is not entirely clear in the short story why Roderick buries Madeline alive – there are a lot of theories: he genuinely believed she was dead, he wanted her out of the picture, he himself was succumbing to the madness of the house, etc – but the guilt he feels for doing so manifests as him hearing her scraping her way out for several days preceding her escape. The justification for Vanya’s imprisonment is more clear in text, but the series of flashbacks make it clear that it is not just the imprisonment that has driven her over the edge. It it guilt for her sister, anger at her abusive upbringing that is much more easily directed at her siblings than her father, the newfound emotions experienced by being off her medication for the first time since childhood, Leonard’s manipulations, etc. 

In both cases, amidst a spiral of emotions and experiences folding in on themselves, Vanya and Madeline experience a single, cold moment of clarity that drives them to escape, and it is that moment of clarity that breaks the shadow of the family legacy. They observe the situation as it stands and realize that it is completely unacceptable, and it is the realization that leads everything to crumble. Because gothic literature is focused on the complexities of maintaining that which is out of date, the realization that things must change can break the spell.

Part V: Conclusions 

As per usual, I have no great theories on why this is or what it means. One of the reasons I love gothic literature is that it is rife with meaning that can be more easily felt than deciphered. I welcome any and all interpretations, theories, (politely worded) disagreements, and comments. 

Thanks for taking the time to read; I have a lot of fun doing these. Enjoy spooky season, y’all. 💛

#The Umbrella Academy meta #TUA meta #The Umbrella Academy #TUA #The Fall of the House of Usher #House of Usher #Edgar Allen Poe #back here with the long metas on gothic literature and superhero tv #Vanya Hargreeves #Madeline Usher #happy spooky season y'all

[runestele]

Favorite Characters Tag Game

Rules: List your favorite character from 10 different fandoms and then tag 10 people.

Tagged by: @aseaofhoney I LOVE exhibiting behavior thank you

I have so much to say bc they altered my brain chemistry

Ianto Jones from Torchwood: All time favorite character for as long as I can remember. The blueprint. I’ve visited his shrine in Cardiff and I will again. Soul-bonded with him when I watched him discover his sexuality while I was struggling with my own like ten years ago... He makes mistakes and cares deeply and is impeccably sarcastic and I could cry but anyways

Jack Rackham from Black Sails: THE man in my phone case <3 On Fathoms Deep (Black Sails Podcast), they asked which character loves the best. And one person said EXACTLY what I was thinking when she answered with Jack's iconic, “Darling? I can understand why you wouldn’t want to tell me about this, but please know that all I have ever wanted for you is to be happy" line. I'm infatuated

Jem Carstairs from The Infernal Devices: Genuinely set the standard for love and love interests in any book ever. The scene where he punches Will in the face is on loop in my brain + I have his proposal speech memorized

Magnus Bane from The Mortal Instruments: Specifically, Book Magnus. He is such a FUN character, while being dynamic and complex. Eccentric bisexual warlock of all time. On my mind since like .. idk 2011? I miss him maybe I'll reread

Richard Gansey III from The Raven Cycle: He put their refrigerator in the bathroom. He loves his friends but didn't even notice that one of them was a ghost the whole time bc he was distracted by hyperfixations. I feel so normal and sane

Donna Noble from Doctor Who: THE companion of all time. Has impeccable platonic chemistry with 10. Not only is she the funniest, but she’s also got an incredible arc ?? Her season 4 ending was the most impactful moment in DW for me, I rewatch Journey’s End so often I love agony

Diego Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy: A dramatic petty bitch who loves his mom and his siblings so much, but has a hard time expressing love!!! He is such a dork but also hot

Aziraphale from Good Omens: They rly created a nervous angel with ethical dilemmas, an appreciation for humanity, identity crises, a flare for the dramatic, and a cute book store. for me.

Wanda (Wanderer) from The Host: My Alien Girlfriend. She is the reason this book is THE scifi of all time. Her perspective is so genuine but never boring. she cares so much. anyways Mel should have just fucked off and let Wanda have her body idc

Wolfgang from Sense8: It was so hard to pick just one from this show bc I love them all a LOT but I get so excited when he’s on screen. he’s either gonna be goofy and in love OR he’s going to blow someone up with a rocket launcher <3

Tagging: @adamfaerish @starlessaints @enjolrac @1327-1 @kindred-aquarian @tokillamockinjay and anyone else who wants to do it!

#this took me all day bc it was so hard to choose but it was so fun #not being able to choose every single Black Sails character was excruciating #I also had to make a separate list on my phone of all the Terrible Characters that are my favorite like Kendall Roy or Izzy Hands #bc the VIBE is so different for my favorite Worst Guys .. to put them on the same list as Ianto Jones? I don't think so #tag games #mine #long post #tbh Gansey and Noah are tied as my faves but I had to choose the boy thats been on my mind the most lately

[astrognossienne]

scandalous beauty - dolores del río - an analysis

“I love my native Mexico but I love Hollywood, too. It has brought me much happiness and yet, while here I have been miserably unhappy also. But through it all I have found myself, my work and my true destiny.” - Dolores del Río

Like Lupe Vélez, Dolores del Río was a pioneering Latina actress, however del Río’s reach was longer. Far from being stigmatized as a woman of colour, she was acknowledged as the epitome of beauty in the Hollywood of the 1920s and early 1930s. While she insisted upon her ethnicity, she was nevertheless coded white by the film industry and its fans, and she appeared for more than a decade as a romantic lead opposite white actors. Returning to Mexico in the early 1940s, she brought enthusiasm and prestige to the Golden Age of Mexican cinema, becoming one of the great divas of Mexican film. With struggle and perseverance, she overcame the influence of men in both countries who hoped to dominate her, ultimately controlling her own life professionally and personally. Her sophistication, style and artistry bewitched everyone from Stella Adler to John Ford, Federico Fellini, and her great friends Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, who proclaimed to be “totally in love with her, just like forty million Mexicans and one hundred and twenty million Americans who couldn’t be wrong.” She was America’s first Latina superstar, and by the early 1930s, she was one of Hollywood's ten top moneymakers. Hers was a charmed life, but not even she was without problems. A child of privilege in her native Mexico, her family’s status was destroyed in the Mexican Revolution, and her desire to restore her comfortable lifestyle inspired del Río to follow a career as an actress. Discovered and promoted by American director Edwin Carewe, her obsessive protector and Svengali, as the “female Rudolph Valentino,” del Río’s aristocratic, Spanish-European background was constantly pushed to counteract Hollywood’s racism against Mexicans; indeed she was generally thought to be one of the most beautiful actresses of her era, and was the first Latin American movie star to have international appeal. She worked for over five decades and paved the way for Latin American stars in American cinema.

Dolores del Río, according to astrotheme, was a Leo sun and Aries moon. She was born María de los Dolores Asúnsolo López-Negrete in the Mexican town of Durango; she was an only child born to parents who belonged to the wealthy Mexican aristocracy. She was the second cousin of actor Ramón Novarro and a cousin to actress Andrea Palma. They lived the high life in the company of intellectuals and artists. Dolores attended a prestigious school but soon their world was turned upside down, threatened by an insurrection led by Pancho Villa in the region. Del Río and her mother escaped Mexico City disguised as peasants, while her father crossed the border to the United States. When the family eventually reunited in 1912, they did so under the protection of Francisco I. Madero. In 1920 she married the 18-year older attorney Jaime Martinez del Río and became a socialite. Her career got off to a good start when in 1925 when the lauded American director Edwin Carewe was invited to her home and saw her perform and dance for her family and friends. He persuaded del Río and her husband to moved to the United Sates and go to Hollywood to be in his films. While in Hollywood, del Río played a variety of leading roles, from European aristocrat to "native" girl to European peasant.

Within a few years after her arrival, she was a major hit and her appeal was astonishingly broad. She quickly came to command a substantial salary and to exercise control over her choice of films, scripts, and camera angles. Despite the fact that she did not speak English when she first began and had to have the director 's instructions delivered through interpreters, she made the transition to sound films gracefully. Her accent was deemed slight, attractive, and not specific to a particular country. As socially attractive as she was, physically and personality-wise, the truth is that a major part of del Río’s seamless transition into Hollywood is down to racism and white supremacy. While her contemporary (and nemesis) Lupe Vélez was viewed as the "bad Mexican wildcat" (to be fair, her temperament didn’t help this stereotype), Dolores was viewed as the "good Spanish lady." The contrast between the two stars and their degrees of acceptance reflected society’s stereotypical dichotomy between "good" Spanish and "bad" Mexican images– which has its roots in U.S. history. While most Mexicans were perceived as racially inferior, the elite Hispanic Californianas were deemed European and superior while the mass of Mexican women were viewed as Indian and inferior. Californiana women who possessed land and intermarried with Anglo men were depicted positively; they were represented as aristocratic and virtuous and they epitomized "good" women; but this was at the price of denying their racial identity, and being treated as racially superior to Californiano males and the rest of their people. So as such, she soon divorced her Mexican husband Jaime in 1928 and two years later married MGM art director Cedric Gibbons (who happened to be Gary Cooper’s wife’s uncle).

Soon after her marriage, she was romantically linked with actor Errol Flynn, filmmaker John Farrow, writer Erich Maria Remarque, film producer Archibaldo Burns, and actor Tito Junco. However, it was her affair with Orson Welles, who considered her the love of his life, that was arguably her most high profile relationship. She and Welles met at a party hosted by director Darryl Zanuck. The couple felt a mutual attraction and began a discreet affair, which upon eventual discovery caused the divorce between Dolores and Gibbons. Their relationship lasted for 4 years; she ended it when she got word of Welles cheating on her. She decided to end her relationship with Welles through a telegram that he never answered. According to his daughter, Rebecca, until the end of his life, Welles felt for del Río a kind of obsession. Weeks later, her father died in Mexico. With these personal and professional downturns, Dolores del Río returned to Mexico in the 1940s and became a significant part of the Mexican film industry’s Golden Era. She was the muse of director Emilio Fernández and starred most notably in Las Abandonadas (1944) and La Malquerida (1949). On a national and even international level though, Dolores del Río will perhaps always be best remembered for her role in the 1946 classic María Candelaría, which is said to be the film of which she was most proud. It also marked the first tentative steps of the Mexican film industry into the world of serious cinema and was the first Latin American film to be screened at the Cannes Film Festival in 1946, where it won the Grand Prix (now known as the Palme d’Or) for Best Picture. After her triumph in her native homeland, she returned to Hollywood and played opposite Henry Fonda in The Fugitive (1947). She continued to work steadily, starring in various TV shows and films until retiring in 1978. On April 11, 1983, del Río died from liver failure at the age of 78 in Newport Beach, California.

Next week, I’ll focus on her one-time lover, an iconoclastic disruptor who took on the conventions of Hollywood and won: the amazing Taurus Orson Welles.

Stats

birthdate: August 3, 1904

major planets:

Sun: Leo

Moon: Aries

Rising: Leo

Mercury: Virgo

Venus: Leo

Mars: Cancer

Midheaven: Taurus

Jupiter: Aries

Saturn: Aquarius

Uranus: Sagittarius

Neptune: Cancer

Pluto: Gemini

Overall personality snapshot:  She had a large, warm-hearted, extroverted personality that was always eager to embrace life, love and success – in big doses. There was something about her that assumed the divine right to live life to the full, and her intensity and impatience, along with her personal ambitions, pulled her ever onwards into new projects, fresh relationships and greater challenges. She was something of a gambler and had a daring and dramatic spirit which propelled her forward to make her mark, a sense of personal destiny which can only be exciting and noble. And she was prepared to fight for that glorious destiny if she had to, although she would rather simply steal the show and convince everyone with her intelligence, originality, courage and fabulous style. One of her most beguiling qualities is that she was totally lacking in guile and pretense. Although her own personal destiny was what interested her, paradoxically she at first looked for people she could admire and make into personal heroes. Strongly influenced by a favourite teacher, friend, poet, sports champion or movie star, she could then emulate them and learn through experience how to be great.

She loved the process of creating, as well as the applause that came at the end. Indeed, she relied on those adoring strokes and affirmative responses more than she liked to admit. Life without people would be colourless and boring for her. Social interaction was her life-blood – she could be the life of the party, a real ham and an eccentric, ready to take up the most outrageous dare. But when her extrovert escapades dry up, so did she. She may have, in fact, driven herself to exhaustion and then collapse like a child, home from an all-night rave-up. Yet despite her headlong rush into the experience of life, she was not necessarily irresponsible. Daring and highly idealistic dreams worked away inside her and made her want to improve things, to show people the way, and she may have simply taken charge – for a while. Intensely self-motivated, she did not respond well to orders from others, even though she could be quite bossy herself. There is a touch of the preacher inside her, and she approached her work with great enthusiasm and commitment. She needed space to do her own thing, to learn from her own mistakes, and to learn how to impose her own brand of self-discipline. Her innate self-dramatizing tendencies made her a natural for the theater, business, lecturing, the media – areas that involved group interaction and provided scope for her original and iconoclastic ideas.

She had great presence with a strong-featured face and a sunny glow of inner self-confidence and displayed a regal quality in her posture and carriage; was definitely well-built. She sought perfection in whatever she did and could be very critical of herself and her own efforts. In this way, she often became overly critical and pedantic, especially under stress. She was basically an honest person, and it disturbed her greatly when she had to deal with people who were not. Anyone who violated her sense of trust had a very hard time getting it back. It was very important for her to know that she had the security of a guaranteed paycheck coming in regularly. She had an artistic side to her that obviously influenced her choice of career as an actor. Once she had decided upon her career, she was able to (and most certainly did) pursue it with great determination. She had boundless enthusiasm and big ideas coupled with high expectations of succeeding. She was also self-sufficient and broad-minded. Her genuine pioneering spirit, positive outlook and large-scale personal ambitions led her right to the top. She needed to learn to think before you take on a challenge, and all risks should have been carefully considered. She needed to learn to relax and slow down. She was anxious to prove herself both to others and to herself. If anyone said that she couldn’t do something, she defied them to try and stop her. As long as she felt that she was the one in control, she had a high degree of optimism and was fun-loving, loving to play at life. 

She had an original mind and used every skill she possessed to gain control of her affairs. She found it hard to let go of the past, and it would have been good if she did so that she could grow. She was willing to tolerate austerity for as long as it was justified. She respected institutions for as long as they served her purpose. She had the ability to judge what was viable or important. She belonged to a generation with fiery enthusiasm for new and innovative ideas and concepts. Rejecting the past and its mistakes, she sought new ideals and people to believe in. As a member of this generation, she felt restless and adventurous, and was attracted towards foreign people, places and cultures. She was part of an emotionally sensitive generation that was extremely conscious of the domestic environment and the atmosphere surrounding their home place and home country. In fact, she could be quite nostalgic about her homeland, religion and traditions, often seeing them in a romantic light. She felt a degree of escapism from everyday reality, and was very sensitive to the moods of those around him. Dolores embodied all of these Cancer Neptunian ideals, when she returned to her native Mexico in 1943, a country of which she was very proud, her decision to return to her roots changed her career. As a Gemini Plutonian, she was mentally restless and willing to examine and change old doctrines, ideas and ways of thinking. As a member of this generation, she showed an enormous amount of mental vitality, originality and perception. Traditional customs and taboos were examined and rejected for newer and more original ways of doing things. As opportunities with education expanded, she questioned more and learned more.

Love/sex life: She had a heroic conception of herself as a lover. She saw herself as strong and in control, the protector of the weak and the saviour of the desperate. Unfortunately, the realities of her love life didn’t always support this notion. Often it was her tender feelings that required protection and her desperate plunges in and out of love that called for a saviour. In order to justify this discrepancy, she often had to be less than honest, both with her lover and herself. The person most likely to win her heart would have been that individual who made it appear as if  she was the champion when, in fact, she was the one crying for help. Her tendency toward self-deception often extended to a failure to admit to her very natural emotionalism and sexual passivity. Unfortunately, there always came a day of reckoning when she had to “own” her emotional susceptibility and capitulate to her sloppy feelings of dependency and her deep-seated need for affection. The good news was that surrendering everything for love wasn’t nearly as bad as she thought it was. She may have lost her dignity but what she got in return made it all worth while.

minor asteroids and points:

North Node: Virgo

Lilith: Pisces

Vertex: Sagittarius

Fortune: Taurus

East Point: Leo

These points in her chart, however minor, packed a major punch in her sex appeal as well. Her North Node in Virgo dictated that her tendency to dream and be disorganized needed to be tempered by developing more practical and down-to-earth attitudes. Her Lilith in Pisces meant that she was a woman who was a natural born mystic and cultivated her own myth. Her Part of Fortune in Taurus and Part of Spirit in Scorpio dictated that her destiny lay in attaining personal freedom through seeking material security and comfort. Happiness and good fortune came through tangible and practical results that had a solid foundation. Her soul’s purpose lay in delving fearlessly into the unknown. She felt spiritual connections and saw the spark of the divine when she could strip away the outer layers of experiences and get to the core of a situation. East Point in Leo dictated that she was more likely to identify with the need for pleasure (including the potential of liking herself) and comfort. Vertex in Sagittarius, 4th house reveals that she dreamt of the pinnacle of adventure when it came to mating. Her psyche yearned to be carried away to the ends of the earth or to be exposed to every manner of religious and/or philosophical theory known to man and then some. Her yearning was strong and really deep when it came to rarefied experiences of any sort. Encountering and wanting to join with her demanded that she always had an itinerary that will provide her with the maps to explore the roads that they have not yet traveled, to say nothing of the different worlds they have dreamed of but not yet experienced. She had a childlike orientation, in all of its manifestations, toward relationships on an internal level. That implicit dependency and impressionable nature that was instilled in her childhood persisted far into maturity. The concomitant explosions and occasional tantrums when these constructs are violated also accompany this position. She had a need for emotional security and comfort in a committed relationship, no matter how many years it has endured. She often had deep fears, typical of children, of abandonment, as well as a need for protection and universal acceptance, no matter how she acted, which she needed her partner to respect and nurture, rather than rebuke, especially in adulthood.

elemental dominance:

fire

earth

She was dynamic and passionate, with strong leadership ability. She generated enormous warmth and vibrancy. She was exciting to be around, because she was genuinely enthusiastic and usually friendly. However, she could either be harnessed into helpful energy or flame up and cause destruction. Ultimately, she chose the latter. Confident and opinionated, she was fond of declarative statements such as “I will do this” or “It’s this way.” When out of control—usually because she was bored, or hadn’t been acknowledged—she was be bossy, demanding, and even tyrannical. But at her best, her confidence and vision inspired others to conquer new territory in the world, in society, and in themselves. She was a practical, reliable man and could provide structure and protection. She was oriented toward practical experience and thought in terms of doing rather than thinking, feeling, or imagining. Could be materialistic, unimaginative, and resistant to change. But at her best, she provided the practical resources, analysis, and leadership to make dreams come true.

modality dominance:

fixed

She liked the challenge of managing existing routines with ever more efficiency, rather than starting new enterprises or finding new ways of doing things. She likely had trouble delegating duties and had a very hard time seeing other points of view; she tried to implement the human need to create stability and order in the wake of change.      

house dominants:

12th

9th

1st

She had great interest in the unconscious, and indulged in a lot of hidden and secret affairs. Her life was defined by seclusion and escapism. She had a certain mysticism and hidden sensitivity, as well as an intense need for privacy. Traveling, whether physically across the globe, on a mental plane or expanding through study was a major theme in her life. She was not only concerned with learning facts, but also wanted to understand the connections formed between them and the philosophies and concepts they stood for. Her conscience, as well as foreign travel, people and places was also of paramount importance in her life. Her personality, disposition and temperament was highlighted in her life. The manner in which she expressed herself and the way she approached other people is also highlighted. The way she approached new situations and circumstances contributed to show how she set about her life’s goals. Early childhood experiences also factored in her life as well.

planet dominants:

Mercury

Sun

Venus

She was intelligent, mentally quick, and had excellent verbal acuity. She dealt in terms of logic and reasoning. It is likely that she was left-brained. She was restless, craved movement, newness, and the bright hope of undiscovered terrains. She had vitality and creativity, as well as a strong ego and was authoritarian and powerful. She likely had strong leadership qualities, she definitely knew who she was, and she had tremendous will. She met challenges and believed in expanding her life. She was romantic, attractive and valued  beauty, had an artistic instinct, and was sociable. She had an easy ability to create close personal relationships, for better or worse, and to form business partnerships.

sign dominants:

Leo

Aries

Virgo

She loved being the center of attention and often surrounded herself with admirers. She had an innate dramatic sense, and life was definitely her stage. Her flamboyance and personal magnetism extended to every facet of her life. She wanted to succeed and make an impact in every situation. As a Leo dominant, she was, at her best, optimistic, honorable, loyal, and ambitious. She was a physically oriented individual who took pride in her body. She was bold, courageous, and resourceful. She always seemed to know what she believed, what she wanted from life, and where she was going. She could be dynamic and aggressive (sometimes, to a fault) in pursuing her goals—whatever they might be. Could be argumentative, lacked tact, and had a bad temper. On the other hand, her anger rarely lasted long, and she could be warm and loving with those she cared about. She was a discriminating, attractive, thorough, scientific, hygienic, humane, scientific woman and had the highest standards. Her attention to detail was second to none and she had a deeply penetrative and investigative mind.

Read more about her under the cut.

Dolores del Rio was the one of the first Mexican movie stars with international appeal and who had meteoric career in the 1920s/1930s Hollywood. Del Rio came from an aristocratic family in Durango. In the Mexican revolution of 1916, however, the family lost everything and emigrated to Mexico City, where Dolores became a socialite. In 1921 she married Jaime Del Río (also known as Jaime Martínez Del Río), a wealthy Mexican, and the two became friends with Hollywood producer/director Edwin Carewe, who "discovered" del Rio and invited the couple to move to Hollywood where they launched careers in the movie business (she as an actress, Jaime as a screenwriter). Eventually they divorced after Carewe cast her in her first film Joanna (1925), followed by High Steppers (1926), and Pals First (1926). She had her first leading role in Carewe's silent version of Pals First (1926) and soared to stardom in 1928 with Carewe's Ramona (1928). The film was a success and del Rio was hailed as a female Rudolph Valentino. Her career continued to rise with the arrival of sound in the drama/romance Bird of Paradise (1932) and hit musical Flying Down to Rio (1933). She later married Cedric Gibbons, the well-known art director and production designer at MGM studios. Dolores returned to Mexico in 1942. Her Hollywood career was over, and a romance with Orson Welles--who later called her "the most exciting woman I've ever met"--caused her second divorce. Mexican director Emilio Fernández offered her the lead in his film Wild Flower (1943), with a wholly unexpected result: at age 37, Dolores del Río became the most famous movie star in her country, filming in Spanish for the first time. Her association with Fernández' team (cinematographer Gabriel Figueroa, writer Mauricio Magdaleno and actor Pedro Armendáriz) was mainly responsible for creating what has been called the Golden Era of Mexican Cinema. With such pictures as Maria Candelaria (1944), The Abandoned (1945) and Bugambilia (1945), del Río became the prototypical Mexican beauty. career included film, theater and television. In her last years she received accolades because of her work for orphaned children. Her last film was The Children of Sanchez (1978). (x)

#leo #dolores del rio #star analyses #scandalous stars #astrology #long ass post #mine

[petersthree]

Man...the siblings and their growth from their trauma, as well as their reactions to seeing Reginald and esp when it came to him being cruel to Diego was just so good. Each and every one had something in there that was important for and indicative of trauma survivors and coping mechanisms, and how you are when you’re growing and improving vs when you’re faced with a trigger and/or abuser and that is just so important. So we’re just. Gonna stick most of this under a read more bc there’s 7 of them and I’m going through each and every sibling lmao  so if you actually read this good for you bc it’s Super Fucking Long: 

Luther: So I already spoke about Luther & Diego here, but man, I loved Luther this season. Last season if you had me rank my favorites it’d be “1. Ben 2. Every other Hargreeves sibling 3. Luther” for me and this time it’s “1. Ben 2. Every other Hargreeves sibling” full stop. Luther has tried so hard to be the “Number One” in the group all the time, but in s1, he had no real priority besides Allison. This season, separating him from Allison, we get to see real emotional maturity from Luther. He apologizes to Vanya, he’s protecting Allison and Klaus, he chooses his current version of Five when he’s spotting. 

Heck, even with Allison, I found I could tolerate their scenes together, and even enjoy some - him comforting her about having to leave Ray, apologizing for the movie-version-CPR, those scenes didn’t give me the same discomfort that their other scenes in season 1 have. They can’t erase their history and Luther can’t erase his feelings, but he’s also respecting boundaries. And you know what, it’s funny because by dropping this Number One identity, Luther actually became a good Number One - someone who supports and looks out for all the other siblings and trusts in their plans, instead of trying to unilaterally make decisions for them all. 

When you look at the supper scene, Luther seems to “revert” back into his old self the least. Yes, he’s nervous, yes he has an outburst at his father close to the end again, but throughout the supper? Luther is the one who reaches out to Vanya and softly says maybe she shouldn’t showcase her powers, trying to be the peacemaker between his siblings while they’re upset, and standing up for them against their father. It’s important to remember Luther has already had his "first” meeting with Reginald about a year prior. He had his moment where he wanted to be Number One again, of being shot down hard by his father and realizing, without a doubt, that his father didn’t care about him and likely never would, and it allows him to at least try and keep the peace here. 

Diego: I personally think Diego had the best development, and I will fight anyone who says that he’s too dumb (I mean I won’t, bc I can understand where that view comes from, but I also disagree he’s still shown to be smart, okay). But Diego ended up helping the siblings out of their situations the most, and it is mainly because of his emotional intelligence. We knew Diego was a sensitive one who made emotional bonds in season 1 of course - he had the biggest connection to Mom/Grace, he was the one who used to have connections in the police force and his relationship with Patch - out of all the siblings he seemed the most well-adjusted in terms of interpersonal relationships, though they certainly weren’t perfect. 

But season 2? Diego makes a connection with Lila, a genuine connection. It’s important to note that when Lila is struggling, it is Luther & Diego who speak to her in words of comfort. Luther is ignored, of course, but he tells her that love shouldn’t have to hurt this much and he is right. And Diego is the one who gets through to her. Diego in season 1 is angry - at Reginald, at his siblings, at the world, but Diego in season 2 has learned to let himself give and receive love, and it helps him break through to Lila. And, we see yet again how good of a people person he is with the Commission. Yes, it’s because of Lila, but they headhunt him, and Herb and the rest of the Commission resistance adores Diego. He’s been there for what, a few hours? And he’s calling Herb “Herbie”, has a secret handshake with him, they look genuinely happy to see Diego. Five worked there for years and never made these connections, but Diego did, which helped him get a briefcase to bring his family home and figure out Vanya was the bomb and get the siblings to her in time. Diego’s emotional growth was amazing to watch because yes, he’s still in this hero mentality, yes he’s still making rash decisions at times, but he’s also building genuinely good relationships with people. 

And now, the Dreaded(TM) - the scene with Reginald. Diego goes in confident, with the thought that they’re a united front, that he has the upper hand on Reginald for once. And then? Reginald utterly and completely tears him apart and for Diego, it’s like being a kid again. He gets so upset and so hurt that his stutter comes back, and there’s nothing else that he can say. And none of his siblings say something in his defense - not blaming them of course, because growing up with shared trauma, you’re all sad and scared, which includes not speaking up no matter how much it hurts seeing someone else get hurt or how much you want to say something. 

Allison: Man, I love Allison more this season, and even though she was trying not to use her powers last season as well, this season we (and her) got to see that Allison can succeed without using her powers. She helps lead a civil rights movement and motivate everyone else, she is a powerful woman in her community, she finds genuine romantic love, and she does that all without her power. Her power is shown in season 1 to be something she used to get through life, to the point where nothing in her life became real and she used it on her own daughter. But this season? We see that Allison has merit, she is talented, strong, and intelligent, all on her own. She can fight, she can have a voice, she can do it without depending on this ability. 

And we see two backslides - one, when she shows Ray her power, and we see her going back to the diner and using it on the racist waiter. And sure, he deserved it, but we see that Allison has glee at harming him (heck, most times when she’s using her rumor power she looks satisfied/vindicated) and she isn’t even fully aware of how deep she is until Ray pulls her out of it and tells her it’s enough. We saw a lot of Allison with Klaus this season, and while it’s not quite fair to say that Allison has an addiction because I don’t want to conflate the two, she does have to be careful with her powers because she can get sucked in so easily. 

And the second one - when they’re about to see Reginald, and they’re arguing, Allison reverts to calling Diego “Number Two”. Nobody else has really reverted back to numbers by this point, but Allison gives him that dig - it’s their codename, the reminder that he’s so close to being number one but isn’t, it’s something designed to get under his skin that’s more pointed and hurtful than what siblings usually say to get under each other’s skin. And Diego’s response? Is that she’s a daddy’s girl. When Allison was a child, her rumor ability gave her power over others, and also allowed her to be useful to her father. Her dad used her in ways that he couldn’t use the other kids, it gave her the feeling of being Special, of being Important, and it most likely made it so that whenever she used it she was directly avoiding Reginald’s abuse, and probably making her the “daddy’s girl” that Diego was talking about. She laughs when Reginald writes down a note on Diego missing twice, rumors Diego to hit himself, her digs are at Diego because he’s the target for the moment. But when Diego gets taken down? 

Sorry for the crappy phone-version photo, but Allison is clearly uncomfortable, she specifically says nothing. As much as her digs at Diego were mean in the moment, she doesn’t want to see him genuinely get hurt, and it’s an interesting look at how the abuse affected Allison. 

Yes, she uses her powers and falls into that “mean girl” persona when with her father, but it’s a method of survival, not who she genuinely is. 

Klaus: So I’m going to be completely honest, I think in terms of development Klaus probably seems the most stagnant, though I wouldn’t say it is. Disclaimer: This next paragraph is going to make it seem like I hate Klaus and I want to promise you that I absolutely love him, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to call out his flaws and I’m kind of tired of seeing hate against Ben but nothing about Klaus for this situation. 

His relationship with Ben, of course, suffered a lot. Ben strongly disapproves of his actions, and they’re fighting all the time because they only really have each other and because Ben wants to go back to San Francisco. It gets so bad that they essentially have a sibling break-up - I’ve seen people upset at Ben for possessing Klaus (particularly before having his consent to do so) but something I haven’t seen is the fact that Klaus continuously refused to let their other siblings know that Ben was alive and with them because they were arguing. He never once manifested Ben to them or let them know that Ben was there, and yeah, as much as Ben shouldn’t have tried to possess him, what Klaus did was extremely fucked up. He even acknowledged that Ben was his “ghost bitch” as he so put it, and said that Ben couldn’t do anything but follow him around, and then he told Ben that he was acting like Reginald. When he loses Dave again in his head, he goes back to drinking, stuck in the same cycle as he was before. When he makes his cult, he does it to thrive, but then abandons them because he doesn’t want to deal with it anymore and then wants to tell them the truth from selfish reasons as Ben points out. 

Does that mean that Klaus has had no progress or is a bad person? No, of course not. Addiction is a struggle, and to hold Klaus’s relapse against him is unfair, and I think what’s more important is that Ben mentions that Klaus has been sober for 3 years. 3 years. That is huge. During this time it seems like Klaus has controlled his powers better - we don’t see hordes of ghosts following him around, and he’s able to summon them in the premiere opening & the finale. He’s able to use his powers, he just hates doing so because of his trauma, and Ben is a constant reminder that Klaus never let him walk into the light because he wanted his brother back. Klaus is just so wracked with guilt in everything that he does because yes, there are parts of it that are selfish, but it’s also born out of good intent. Yes, Klaus summoned Ben, but he wanted his baby brother back, he did want to tell the cult, but he had felt guilty that they were all following him when he just wanted to survive in the 60s, yes he freaked out Dave more than a little, but he was trying so hard to save his life. 

And him during the supper. It’s interesting because depending on how you look at it, either Five (mentally), Luther (vibes/originally) or Klaus (physically) are the elder siblings, and while Luther and Five try passively to keep the peace in their own way, Klaus kind of does...nothing. Klaus is drunk the entire time, tries to have a casual comment to Reginald, and he’s largely silent - but he’s still obviously affected. Look at his face when Reginald is being cruel to Diego.

He doesn’t like it, of course he doesn’t, but Klaus has been so used to being the ignored, passive voice in his family and we see a man who’s never been afraid to talk, whether it be to a homophobe in the 60s or to his siblings who chalk up some of his comments to addiction, we see him completely quiet after his initial greeting. His only real action, which is still silent (but sweet), is checking up on Diego after Allison rumors him to punch himself. It’s an interesting thing, and the reason I mention him being technically one of the oldest is that with trauma, sometimes the older sibling sees more and has learned to live with it, or to not say something, etc. and while Klaus was the same age as everyone else growing up, he still reminds me of that type of trauma survivor. We can see so perfectly into his life, quietly watching the trauma and wracked with guilt over things that aren’t his fault, trying so hard to get by, something that culminated in his addiction and this lack of sense on who he is without this coping mechanism, and it’s something I hope he gets to actually learn and develop like Allison did this season. 

Five: Poor Five has had a hell of 2 weeks. I think something to remember with Five is that while the other siblings have had time to deal with their traumas, Five....really hasn’t gotten a break. Five went from an abusive household to getting trapped in the future, to being alone for decades, to having to be a hitman (something that majorly messed him up) to having to come back as a teenager and try saving his family from an apocalypse, to immediately having to try and save them again in another timeline. He had to see his family dead/dying twice. Five is a character who’s had trauma after trauma heaped onto him with no break or time to actually, genuinely process, and it shows. Five is constantly cycling between trying to round up his siblings and make sure they’re okay. He kills the board, something that causes him a lot of distress, but also doesn’t tell his family about it, much like he doesn’t talk about a lot of his time at the commission, maybe out of fear that they’ll see him differently. He’s upset, he’s traumatized, but he does it all for his family and what happens? When they don’t show up for him, he gets upset, he throws the briefcase away, he says fine, they’re dead to me, whatever. 

But they’re not, really, and I think what’s interesting about Five is that he’s just so, so desperate to see his family again, safe, and he’s been cycling through different realities where they just keep on dying. The apocalypse, seeing them about to die in a second apocalypse, watching them all get gunned down in the finale? Every time he’s given an out, a way to save himself, he asks what about my family? He wants all his siblings to survive because he’s seen them fall too many times to count and that trauma on top of everything else is making Five desperate and start to unravel. 

Five is fascinating because he loves saying he’s the oldest, and technically he is, but I think sometimes he realizes that he’s in a little kid’s body and that means his siblings will sometimes treat him like he’s younger regardless, and I think the younger sibling in Five wants to come out in those moments. When Diego tells him to call for him if he needs help, Five does. Five gets hurt by baby Pogo and immediately calls for Diego. When Five is talking to Diego about seeing Reginald again, he’s nervous. He hasn’t seen his father since he jumped forward in time, hasn’t had to, but realizing he has to now? Five looks vulnerable, nervous, he looks like a kid. 

And on the flipside - Five acting older. During the dinner, he’s the one who takes the lead by saying that they’re Reginald’s children, he’s the one who Reginald notes as seeming worthy enough, he even remarks with a little bit of wonder that actually, he’s technically older than Reginald now. It gives him courage, and we also see how he tries, like Luther, to keep the peace, although in a different way. When Diego shows his powers and Reginald insults him, Diego is up to fight and Five gets out of his seat, stopping Diego. He then goes into a quick rundown of everyone’s powers - let’s be honest, if each sibling had said their power, Reginald would have given a quick insult to each, and Five prevented that from happening. When Diego was insulted again? None of the siblings speak up (save for Ben attempting to jump in), and what does Five do? He takes the attention away from Diego, saying the president is unimportant. Five seems so focused in on his mission, but it’s about saving and protecting his family, and he does it so seamlessly here by literally redirecting attention away from the targeted family members (Diego in this case) and bringing it back to him and the mission at hand. 

Ben: So Ben’s arc this season includes being seen, and the fact that he’s had the lack of autonomy to do so (and, ironically, taking away that autonomy from Klaus in the attempts to possess him). 

I already spoke about his reaction during the supper scene here, and I won’t beat that dead horse but I will say it’s interesting that Ben and Klaus are both “passive observers” here - Klaus because it’s been what he’s used to, and Ben because he no longer is content being one. I think, personally Ben hates Reginald. And why wouldn’t he? He’s the one who actively didn’t want to be a superhero, who seemed to hate using his powers, who died for a cause that he didn’t even want to be in. When he enters the supper he doesn’t take his eyes off Reginald as he sits down, he’s frustrated that Klaus won’t let them know that he’s there, he wants to say something and have a voice. When Klaus says that Ben is acting just like Reginald, Ben recoils away from the thought and tells him to never say that. 

Ben is trying this entire season to help his siblings, to be seen by his siblings - whether it be Klaus listening to him, wanting Allison to not enable Klaus, wanting to hug Diego and help him, and he finally gets to with Vanya. She was the one sibling he didn’t get to say goodbye to, and he got to say goodbye to her and help her, something he’s tried to do for Klaus for years but was unable to. Ben is snarky, sarcastic, a bit of a bastard, but he’s also so soft for his siblings. While Hargreeves blames them, and the siblings blame each other (particularly Luther & Diego), Ben never seems to blame any of them - even immediately after being summoned he’s not angry, just calm and understanding. Ben only ever shows annoyance at Klaus not listening to him, and genuine, subtle anger at Reginald, but never any other sibling. He wants them to be happier, more fulfilled, have better coping mechanisms and he gets that with Vanya, he knows she’s not a monster. In terms of trauma and how Ben relates, I feel like he’s accepted that there’s no going back for him, but that as long as you’re living and breathing that you don’t have to be stuck in your trauma or what your abusers said you are, you can be more, you can always change. He reminds Vanya of that and while we definitely better see Ben again next season as you know, actual Ben, it’s also a very fitting conclusion for him to have gone off getting through, literally, to one of his siblings. 

Vanya: Vanya kind of has two different trauma reactions for me - one of which being repressed memories. It’s a common thing, to have years of your life that you just straight up don’t remember, and it’s a way for your body to try and protect yourself. If you don’t remember that trauma, well, you can’t be affected by it, you know? It’s a way for your brain to preserve itself, and it’s not without its fears or own issues or worries but it’s a coping mechanism, same as anything else. 

Of course, Vanya also probably has amnesia from getting hit by the car, and I saw another side to her that a lot of trauma survivors have asked themselves before - Who would I have been had this trauma never happened to me? Yes, the trauma obviously did happen to Vanya, but her having a clear slate allows her to live without the inhibitions and trauma heaped on her. She can freely explore her powers, her emotions aren’t suppressed, she’s not feeling the guilt of the apocalypse, and learning about the troubles feels impersonal, because knowing you did something isn’t quite the same as remembering it and feeling those emotions. 

And Vanya is happier for it. She shows so much emotion, she’s excited about her powers - while she seems intimidated by Reginald and knows that he’s awful from her siblings, she is excited to show off her powers at supper. She shows confidence, and even when she messes up and overdoes it, she just kind of shrugs and goes, “oops” but she’s not upset at it. Vanya is freer, more confident, able to go against the status quo and encourages time and time again for Sissy to do the same. Vanya is unafraid of who she is with this blank slate, and it shows that had she actually been given the opportunity to grow instead of being told she was a monster right from the start, Vanya would have flourished. 

When she remembers, it’s important to note that they’re having dinner again, and that Reginald is chastising her. Even her siblings are, in her head, acting like they did when they were kids. But Five and Ben? Five is just looking at her concerned, and Ben actively roots for her, and they’re both seated the closest to her, which is fitting, because they seemed like they gave her the most support - Vanya felt like the family was fractured when Five left, and irreparable once Ben died. As much as she loves her siblings, Vanya was stuck in the thought that she didn’t have love from them, that she wasn’t deserving of love, that if she remembered she would feel that lack of love again and her fears manifest as her father telling her she’s weak and pathetic. And at the end? Ben tells her she was never the problem, she was never a monster, Reginald and his poor attempt at parenting was, and I think that’s such an important thing to see because it’s something survivors wonder time and time again, and to see a character who’s “responsible” for these to get told, no, it’s not you, it was never you, and you have a right to feel upset about it but you are not and never will be a monster is just beautiful. 

In short, the siblings: We see growth and backslides from them all, and they all kind of follow similar themes - coping with the trauma (and others outside of their home life), their personal growth, and their backslides. We also see them trying hard to find their own identity - Luther denying his Number 1 role, Five not wanting to be an assassin anymore, Allison being a leader of her own merit, etc. - and learning how to give and receive love. Yes, they have backslides, yes the trauma is always with them, yes it causes them tension. We also see them falling silent when Reginald walks in, all leaning in to see what he’s writing, feeling quiet and uncomfortable when he speaks, but you know what? Diego says “So much for Team Zero” in anger after the dinner but by the finale, he says, “I know what it’s like to love dangerous people, difference is, they love me back.” Ben wants so badly to be seen that he lets up on his rational role and tries jumping into Klaus, but when he saves Vanya he does that as himself, Vanya knows what she’s done but doesn’t break, and tells her siblings that she not only needs them, she wants them with her.

This season was excellent because amongst their growth they showed that it didn’t mean they were perfect, but rather that they were growing. The shared trauma they have comes with mess-ups and triggers and different coping mechanisms and sometimes biting words and arguments, but they’re also learning to not hold those against each other but instead help and accept one another. They act as a team, they act as siblings, and remind each other that they don’t have to do this alone or face their traumas alone and that is just so, so wonderful. 

#tua meta #the umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #tua spoilers #long post for ts #ugh i LOVE this season #if anyone actually read this post uhh good for you bc it was me just crying lmao #janie overthinks media

[author-luna]

Villain!Sokeefe/Ruewen family AU

Hi there everyone! A little while ago, a friend and I were talking about Sokeefe and what might happen in book 9, and then I had this idea for an AU where Sokeefe as well as the Ruewen family (Gardy, Edaline, Sophie and alive!Jolie) have been villains all along.

The idea couldn’t leave my mind so here I am.

Word count: 2.9k

Trigger/ Content warnings: mentions of nightmares

Please don’t hesitate to message me / tell me in the comments in case I should add any warnings!

My idea for it was that during Keefe’s time with the Neverseen, they were able to get him on their side

They make him work as a double agent, while thinking he is loyal to them

His joining is fueled by the fact that he feels like the Black Swan isn’t doing anything to help them nor are the utilizing them how they should

He knows that they could defeat the Neverseen in the bat of an eye, if only the Black Swan helped them reach their full potential by not sheltering them

But Keefe has his own agenda, which involves shattering both the Black Swan and the Neverseen

In his opinion, both organizations are hopeless and the best way to actually achieve what they want is a different approach

His plan is to get both the Neverseen and the Black Swan to destroy each other as well as the council, leaving the elvin world exposed

Then, in mits of all chaos, a new organization should take the position of power and work to redefine the elvin values and society

He has thought quite far ahead, but a lot of stuff is still up for debate and he doesn’t really mind because he knows he’ll come up with something in time

After he comes back, he finds it harder to play pretend than he originally thought it would

He can’t bring himself to think about the betrayal everyone would feel after they find out

Even worse, how Sophie would take it all in

After all they’ve been through and how she still trusted him, he can’t take any risks

One day though, when he and Sophie are both hanging out together and the topic of the Neverseen comes up, he can’t take it anymore

It slips out of him before he can even think about it

and suddenly it’s quite, too quiet and yet so unnervingly loud because the blood is rushing in his ears and the air is swirling and Sophie is just shocked

he scrambles to explain what he meant, cover up or anything

but then Sophie just starts shaking and oh god he really messed up didn’t he-

he is convinced that she hates him now but then the shaking turns into faint giggles and the giggling turns into soft laughter which then erupts into a laughing fit and he just wants to call Elwin so he can check on her

after a little while Sophie calms down and sits down, her hands in her lap and her eyes looking at him expectantly

at first our boy is just confused but the she tells him to sit down and explain

when he looks at her like she went insane she tells him that she knows him, he would never do that if he didn’t find value in it

so, he sits down and tells her all about it

from the very start, how he spend his stay to how they recruited him and about why he joined and his own plans

Keefe talks for a while, and when it all come to end, he is surprised by how much better he feels, almost like a weight has been lifted off him and he could finally breathe

Sophie stays quiet for a while, her eyes looking into the distance

Keefe stars fidgeting and pulling loose gras out of the ground because the silence is heavy and he thinks that she definitely hates him now

when Sophie finally looks at him, she is smiling, s m i l i n g and he thinks she finally went crazy

she seems to have read what he thought on his face because now shes pouting and she hit his arm in a playful manner, which leads Keefe to throw a handful of grass on her and suddenly they’re rolling around, chasing each other and laughing like normal people

when they finally stop to catch their breath and they find themselves under Calla’s tree which is ironic, Keefe thinks

the silence now isn’t heavy, it’s comfortable like they've came to a silent agreement

when Sophie speaks up, Keefe can’t help but feel nervous

he is expecting a lecture, a list of things he already knows, maybe even a screaming match because that’s what he deserves

instead, Sophie just whispers a single phrase

‘I trust you’

and it’s enough to bring tears to his eyes because she still trusts him, she isn’t going anywhere and she is still his friend

and then they talk for hours

it’s about everything and nothing in particular

they exchange stories and jokes, laughter echoes through the air followed by a light hearted silence and for the first time in ages Keefe feels like everything might turn out good and he dares to hold on that bit of hope he usually tries to suffocate

Sophie herself feels the same

she thought about yelling at him or scolding him, but deep down she knows that it doesn’t matter

and when she said she trust him, she meant it with each fiber of her body

a little voice in her head tells her that she’s laughing with the enemy and that she’s foolish for trusting him, that she’s a traitor herself for doing it but she snaps back saying that maybe she wants to be a traitor and that she doesn’t care, and the voice shuts up

for the next few days, the voice keeps whispering that she is the enemy as well because she’s trusting Leefe, but whenever she says that maybe she wants to be the enemy, the voice shuts up and that makes her think

Keefe made good points, his plan could use some improvement but the point still stands

her thoughts are constantly running and circling back to the same question ‘Where do I stand? What can I do?’

and at night, the overthinking gets to her

her dreams are haunted by what if’s, but one dream stand out to her

that night, she dreamt of her friends, her family, Keefe and herself in a future where there is no Neverseen

in her dreams, her friends and her were at the beach in San Diego, Linh is playing with the water and everyone is just having fun

when she turns around, she sees Grady and Edaline laughing with her human parents and she hears her human dad’s barking laugh echo as he retells a story from her childhood

she feels a hand on her shoulder and when she looks up, Keefe is standing besides her, looking fondly at the scene

he notices her staring at him and he looks down to her,a soft smile on his face as he whispers ‘We did it Foster’

she jerks up from sleep and she could swear that she can still hear the laughter, smell the water and feel the lingering touch of Keefe’s hand on her shoulder

that night she realizes that this is the future she wants, one where she doesn’t need to hide her human self

she lays awake for hours, and the next morning she finally makes a decision

in the night, when she lays awake, she mentally reaches out to Keefe, and when he opens his mind to hers, he is confused

but with an unbelievable determination she tells him that she is joining him

there is a lot of arguing from his side, but Sophie expected as much

she tells him that if he doesn’t want her to work with him she’ll join the Neverseen on her own so he gives up for now and tells her he will make arrangements for her to meet the others

after the meeting, they take Sophie in as part of them

obviously they don’t trust her from the start and she has to work very hard to earn their trust

they give a lot of assignments that involve morally questionable things that Sophie at first refuses to do but gives in

wherever she goes to these type of missions, she mentally seeks out the comfort of Keefe’s mind, who gladly will distract her, comfort her and talk to her until she feels better

it isn’t a pleasant thing for her to lie to her friends so openly, and she often struggles with hiding it, but Keefe is always right there to help her

they keep talking at night, just basking in the security of each other’s mental presence

because sometimes, things don’t seem that bad when you have a friend by your side

Sophie’s telepathy gets even stronger with the help of Gethen, who teaches her how to hide things securely from Fitz and Mr.Forkle

‘Gethen is okay I suppose’ Sophie begrudgingly admits one night during their nightly hangouts, after Keefe asked her about their training session

he teases her and laughs at her when she threatens to mentally slam a pillow at his head, but secretly she find that his laugh is quite adorable

after the Nightfall fiasco, Vespera and Gisela finally start trusting Sophie more because she kept up the facade so well

they call a meeting with her to ‘formally introduce her’ and during the meeting, she’s a bit nervous

of course, she has been kinda member all this time, but now being officially part of them was making her giddy with nerves

they do the protocol of introducing her to everyone, making her swear herself in, talk about her position yada yada, but the only thing she can focus on is Keefe's hand that intertwined itself with hers under the table and three familiar hooded people in the back

at some point during the meeting he had grabbed her hand to stop her from tugging on her eyelashes and to keep her grounded and steady, and to be fair, the soft circles his thumb kept tracing over her knuckles and the menatlly reassuring things he said to her were soothing and kept her from freaking out

but as much as she wanted to focus on the meeting, her attention kept going up to the three hooded figures in the back

she couldn’t help but feel like she had seen them before, their posture and presence so familiar

she was so distracted she barely noticed how everyone left the room, leaving only Gisela, Vespera, the hooded figures, Keefe and her in the room

when Keefe squeezed her hand, her attention snapped back to the room and she noticed that the figures came closer

Gisela suddenly asked her and Keefe to keep calm since they would now let them into the identities of three of their members

once the hooded figures let down the hoods, Sophie might have yelped in surprise and Keefe might have pulled her closer,just to put his arm around her and there is a tiny chance that Sophie buried herself deeper into his comforting side hug

in front her stood her parents, her elvin parents and with them their daughter she saw them mourn

it didn’t make sense to her how Edaline smiled at her and how Grady sheepishly scratched his neck and especially not how Jolie, the Jolie form the pictures and Prentice mind, shyley waved at her

Gisela and Vespra left them alone and told them to explain and sort it out

the moment they left, Keefe and Sophie started bombarding them with questions

finally, Grady and Edaline explained that Jolie had joined the Neverseen a while before she joined the Black Swan and how she recruited them

her death and all the mourning was just an act to keep everyone from questioning them when they try to get information or when they try to spy on the council

Jolie told her about how she was able to make herself a new identity under the name Trix

upon asking how she could be Trix if his ability was being a Guster and Jolie being a Conjurer jolie answered that she kept gusts of wind stored in the void that she could use and redirect to her liking

they tell them about their positions and how they actually always assisted them in some way, and Sophie feels abit betrayed for not knowing earlier

her and Jolie talk for a bit, getting to know each other and Sophie decides that Jolie is quite amazing

Edaline notes that they should go before someone notices their absence and Sophie takes her home crystal, leaping her and Keefe back to Havenfield

for a second they stand in the living room, hands intertwined and faces close

and before they could speak, they hear someone clear their throat and Sophie lets go of Keefe’s hand in embarrassment

Keefe is a bit upset, he already missed the way Sophie’s hand had fit into his own and the comforting feeling of rubbing his thumb against her knuckles

with a glare, Grady sends him home

after Gardy leaves him alone, he smirks to himself and makes it his mission to hold Sophie’s hand often

now time skip to Unlocked

at first, Keefe didn’t plan on telling Sophe where he’s going because he still was convinced that he is a danger for her

but 2 nights away from the lost cities and he suddenly found Sophie towering over him, hand on her hips and a glare so deadly he probably would have been 6 feet under

sheepishly, he asked her what she was doing here and she just punched his arm

cue an hour of lecturing about how they were in this together and he shouldn't have left without telling her

that’s when it dawned on him

why was she here, and if she was here with him, who was in the lost cities

she sat down besides him, setting down a backpack and saying that she was also a runaway

for the next month or so, they wandered around the world

with her teleporting, their birthfounds and Keefe’s new abilities, they had no problem at all with traveling and staying undercover

in the lost cities, Grady and Edaline helped keep the suspicions at bay

they covered for them and made sure no one found them

cue another showdown between the Neverseen and the Black Swan

this time, it’s a full force one and everyone instinctively knows that this battle is the last

all the intelligent species hold their breath as the war rages, gnomes and elves fighting on each side with all they’ve got

there are losses of course, but the biggest one is when Sophie and Keefe suddenly appear in the middle of everything

their friends stop and look at them with bewilderment, and it soons turns into shock when Keefe takes out a microphone like thing and tells everyone to freeze

as the battle stops, Sophie whistles a tune and Silveny descents from the sky

she lands in front of them and gently, Keefe helps her up and sits behind her

their friends would love to follow them with their eyes, but their gaze is fixed into the distance, and so, they don’t notice how Silveny flies them up to the middle and how Sophie starts expanding her mental grip on everyone

when she finally has everyone listening to her, she takes turns with Keefe to tell them about the future, how both the Neverseen and the Black Swan can’t guarantee a good life for them and the council even less

they end their little speech with them asking their friends to trust them, and Keefe sends everyone but Fitz,Biana,Linh,Tam,Dex,Marella,Wylie,Stina,Bronte Grady and Edaline to sleep

they land and talk with their friends, telling them everything that has happened, from them joining the Neverseen to their time in the human world

and as they stand there, all the stories told and feeling laid bare, they hold each others hands

they know that there is a high possibility of their friends not forgiving them or even not wanting them back

they also know that they might have to leave the elvin world behind forever

that's why they hold each other, because they know that as long as they have each other, the world can throw anything at them and they will get around it

because when Sophie lovingly whispered ‘As long as we have each other, we’re invincible’ after Keefe woke up from a nightmare, it was a promise

and as Keefe whispered a ‘It’s us against the world’ back, it was a mutual understanding,a promise and a reassurance that tells the world ‘We belong with each other, each a heart and a soul that is stronger together’

so when Biana breaks out into a sprint to hug them and everyone joins, hugs exchanged, laughter echoed and stories told, they don’t let go

the future might be uncertain, but it’s a bit better if you have friends with you to stand against the uncertainty

#i'm so proud of this #i've been sitting on this since 8 am and its almost 2 pm now #villain sokeefe AU #grady ruewen #edaline ruewen #jolie ruewen #sophie foster #sophie ruewen #keefe sencen #keefe foster #sophie sencen #sophie kotlc #kotlc fandom #kotlc keefe #kotlc au #lost cities #keepers of the lost cities #fitz kotlc #biana vacker #dex dizznee #linh song #tam song #sokeefe #fitzphie #neverseen #black swan #gisela sencen #kotlc gisela #kotlc gang #kotlc grady