#disabilityau

[aimrwv]

Eye Contact

Pairing: 2min

Rating: Teen

Tags: disabilityAU, 1980s, Aspergers

Warnings: No warnings apply

Word-Count: 71k

Summary:

The story follows the life of autistic male Choi Minho, living his quiet life in a small town and his encounter with Lee Taemin, a loud, at first ignorant, male from Seoul who is sent to his Grandmother's place to learn about life.

"Look at me"

"I- I can't."

Links:

AFF Ao3

#shinee fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #2min

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter X

Tw: Questionable Mother-son relationship

Sorry for this dialogue heavy chapter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Patton’s breath caught in his throat, he hadn’t heard his mother’s voice in a very long time. He swallowed, and spoke, using french so that his mother would understand him. “Hey mom.” 

“Patton, my love, it’s so nice to hear from you.” 

“I have a question to ask you mom. Well not really a question, it’s sort of - -” 

“Just tell me.” 

“Well my partners think I should make a list of foods I don’t like. Isn’t that silly?”

She was quiet for a long while, and for a moment he was afraid she had hung up. “My love, you were always a special boy.” Special, she always used special, never autistic. “I thought perhaps you would grow out of it. Now I see I was wrong.” 

“Isn’t it silly that they thought that I should do something like that though?” 

“My darling, they’re just showing that they love you.” She paused for a long moment. “Perhaps I should have done that as well.” 

It was not often that Victoire Faucheux admitted her faults, but the way she had treated her son growing up was one that she could admit. Looking back on it, now, she realized how off putting her actions must’ve been for her only son. 

“My love, I am so sorry for how I acted towards you. It was wrong of me, I am a terrible mother.” There was so much sorrow in her voice that even Patton, who struggled without being able to see someone’s face understood. 

“No no mama, it’s okay.” He cringed to himself at the way his voice sounded, but he persisted. “It’s not your fault, you were right to try and make me normal.” 

“You can not change the way you are born.” her voice was soft, carrying across the line with the same gentle tone she might use when talking to a child. “And I should not have tried to. Perhaps you should do as they say and make a list. It might help you.” 

That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. “I’ve got to go, I love you.” 

“I love you too.” She sounded slightly taken aback, but she hung up the phone. 

Patton sat down at the table, putting his phone back in his pocket, he was frustrated. It seemed that everyone was against him, even his own mother. He pushed his hair out of his face with a huff, looking around at the entire room with an anger tinted gaze. Stupid tiles and stupid stove, stupid table and stupid vase that doesn’t make any sense and stupid flowers. He was so into his passive aggressive rant that he didn’t even notice the door opening until he heard Logan’s voice. 

“Hello?” 

“In the Kitchen.” He called. 

He heard footsteps, three sets, two humans and one animal. He looked up to see Diego and Logan, with Stella at his side. 

“Patton are you alright?” Diego sat down next to him.

“I’m fine thank you.” Even as he said it he knew he sounded angry. 

“What’s got you forlorn hun?” Logan rested his hand on his shoulder, partially to navigate himself into a sitting position. 

He was silent, crossing his arms over his chest and turning to look down. He didn’t want to face either of them, especially not Diego, who could actually see him. 

“Hun?” Logan’s voice was even softer, his grip tightening in a comforting way. 

“It’s that stupid list you want me to write.” He exclaimed after a few more minutes of silence, leaning back in his chair so violently that he almost fell. 

“What’s wrong with it?” 

“I don’t want to do it. I’m not some kid that you have to care for because I’m incapable.” 

“We don’t think you’re incapable.” 

“Yes! You do!” He got up, shrugging off his hand and starting to pace. “You think that I’m silly because I cry about certain textures and you think I need to be taken care of and you go out of your way to make sure that I’m happy because you think I can’t take care of myself.”

“Patton, love, has it occured to you that we might do that because we love you?” Diego looked over at him, waiting for his response. 

“That doesn’t even make any sense.” He accused, stopping just long enough to shoot him a look. 

“We want you to write out that list so that you don’t get upset. We all love you very deeply and because of that we want you to be happy. Which is why we try to avoid textures you don’t like. We know you’re capable.” His voice was soft and reassuring, he tried to keep to many overwhelming emotions out of it, he wanted Patton to understand. 

“Really?” He looked at Diego for confirmation, and when he nodded his head softly, he came back over and sat down. 

“I’m sorry I freaked out, that was probably stupid of me.” 

“It’s okay to feel things hun.” Logan reached out to him again, knowing that Patton found comfort in touch. 

“I understand feeling like everyone thinks you’re incapable, but you aren’t. In fact, you’re so very capable, and that’s why we want to make this list, to help you become even more capable.” He paused to think about how to word his next thought. “This world wasn’t designed for us, and as such, we must find a way to adapt it to us. We shouldn’t have to change for the world, it is easier for it to change for us.” 

“Will you write down things with me? So that I don’t feel stupid doing it myself?” He looked at both of them with pleading eyes. 

“Of course hun, though I will not be able to add much,” Logan smiled in his direction. 

“That’s fine!” He turned to Diego for his assertion. 

“I will if it helps,” he got up. “I’ll get a notebook, once we’re done we can put the list on the fridge.” 

He came back a few minutes later, carrying a blue notebook, it’s cover hastily wiped clean of dust. He handed it over, along with a pen out of his pocket. Patton took both items, sitting them on the table in front of him and flipping open to a clean page, disregarding the pages of elegant cursive. 

He wrote a header at the top of the page NoNo foods. Then he stuck the pen in his mouth, idly chewing on it as he thought about what he wanted to list. There’s so many things I could put, how specific do I want to be? What if it’s something that I’ve eaten before because I didn’t want him to know that I didn’t like it? 

After thinking for a while he had compiled a list of things, both big and small: hard-boiled egg yolk, cooked beans, sauceless noodles, most meat, asparagus, cooked carrots he thought a little while longer, before handing the page over to Diego so that he could write out the things he didn’t like, and allowed him to write down Logan’s disliked foods, which included ‘very liquidy soups, anything covered in heavy sauce’ and ‘foods with gravy’

By the time they were finished, they had filled an entire page with things that were ‘NoNo foods’. Patton put it on the fridge, using a blue magnet. 

As soon as he was done, he went into the living room, quickly being joined by Diego (who went back over to his computer), Logan, who sat down next to him and flipped on PBS so that he could play a documentary and Stella, who laid down at their feet, her head resting on her paws. 

By the time Roman and Virgil came home, Patton was half-asleep in his spot. The door opening caused him to sit up intently, and he watched them both come in, smiling as they hung up their jackets and closed the door. Roman immediately went into the kitchen, and he could be heard loudly muttering to himself and opening doors to get out the ingredients. He went suddenly quiet for a few minutes, before the sound resumed. It was clear he had seen the list on the fridge. 

When dinner time finally rolled around, Patton was delighted to find that all of the restrictions on the page had been abided by. Roman had whipped up a thick stew of a mixture of vegetables, rice and noodles. Dinner went off without a hitch (a difficult thing to do) and everyone, especially Patton went to bed with a content heart. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list

@mayflowers07

@librowyrm

#Love Carries On #tslogan #tsPATTON #TsRoman #TsDeceit #TsVirgil #multi-chapter #dlamp #poly #tsSanders Sides #disabilityAU #DID #HOH #Autism #ADHD #blind #deaf #fluff #angst

[pidgeon-brained]

Love Carries On: Chapter VI

TW: anxiety attack, sensory overload, angst

Virgil woke up, and immediately jumped up; today was the day, Logan’ birthday. five months of hard work, five months of life changing progress and now today was the day that Logan should get to relax. Virgil sat up out of bed and scrambled around until he found his hoodie, a gift from Roman. He pulled it on, his perpetually cold body reassured in the added protection of the jacket. He pushed his hair out of his face before heading out into the living room. The living room was entirely empty, which was to be expected. His boyfriends always liked to go really big on celebrations, birthdays, holidays, any chance they got to be extra they’d take. Logan had presumably been kicked out of the house until the party and the rest of them were probably in the kitchen preparing something akin to a feast.

Virgil smiled to himself as he walked into the kitchen to find Roman and Patton in matching flowered aprons. Patton was furiously stirring some type of batter, while Roman was building layers of something in a pan. Diego was nowhere to be found. He walked up to Roman and tapped him sharply on the shoulder, he received on finger held up to him, give me a sec.

After a few minutes of working and arranging, Roman turned around. What’s up Virge? He leaned forward, raising his eyebrow in a questioning way.

Where’s D? Virgil responded in likewise, his own question granting an eyebrow raise.

We sent him to the store so that he could get decorations and candles. He shrugged at the end of the statement, his eyebrows relaxing as he switched out of the question asking zone.

By himself? It was less a question and more an anxious and panicked statement.

No! Logan went with, as did Stella. Roman was surprisingly nonchalant, and his eyes were already wandering back to the pan full of food. He just wanted to cook with Patton and not be bothered by all these questions about where and who.

Virgil rolled his eyes before walking away. He couldn’t do anything right now, Logan and Diego were already gone, and he wasn’t a very good cook, or at least not Roman and Patton’s level. A brief thought of him helping Logan and D set up decorations shot through his mind and he nodded to himself in agreement. Seeing as there wasn’t much else to do, he settled himself on the couch and put on a documentary.

As much as he poked fun at Logan for liking documentaries, he liked them a lot as well, it didn’t require him to use his imagination and to understand what type of tone the narrator, or in the case of a lot of movies, character, might be using because they were just relaying factual information. It was comforting to read the subtitles and feel like he understood exactly what was going on.

Today’s documentary was on World War One, it seemed to be centered around one specific battle, but Virgil was just sort of watching the pictures on screen and halfway reading the words. It was comforting, to hang out and not have to do anything just yet. The black and white photography was just boring enough for his brain to focus on other things. He found himself pondering who’s car the boys had taken, what Roman was making, what Patton was making, how Stella was doing. His mind just drifted around, and it was comforting to drift, nothing to focus on, just allowing his mind to think and know things.

He spent what felt like hours doing that, but it was barely half an hour before the door opened and Logan and Diego came in. He didn’t hear the door of course, but he did feel the tap on the shoulder from Logan and he turned around to see them both standing there, bags in their hands.

“Want to help decorate?” Diego spoke slowly, allowing Virgil to read his lips.

Yes. He signed it, a quick knocking movement, before getting up off of the couch to help them put things away.

They set the bags on the table, and inside Virgil found an assortment of party goods, hats, banners and streamers, candles, a few bags for gift wrapping (which Virgil needed because he’d been hiding Logan’s present for months and now he needed a bag to put it in). He was impressed that they had managed to remember all of this, of course since Logan went along, it shouldn’t have surprised him at all.

He shot Diego a quick few signs, asking him if there was a plan. And when Diego explained to him that there wasn’t a plan, he was almost delighted. Virgil had been told almost all of his life that he had an eye for design, and even if that was something of a hidden talent, he thoroughly enjoyed designing things. He grabbed the streamers, (blue and silver) and started to layout in his head where he wanted everything to go. He dug around in the bag until he found a roll of tape. He grabbed a chair from the table and climbed up on it.

Then he paused, suddenly remembering the banner that said ‘Happy Birthday’ on it. He snapped to get Diego’s attention, pointing at the banner on the table, and wordlessly, he handed it to him. Virgil took a step back and looked at the arch, careful not to fall off of the chair, trying to figure out where the banner would have to go to be centered. He nodded his head unconsciously before turning back and snapping again. Diego looked up, and he signed for him to get Logan’s attention.

Logan was the tallest of his boyfriends, and he needed him to hold the banner while he ripped the tape to hold it in place. After Diego explained to him what Virgil needed, Logan came over to stand by him. Virgil guided his hand to where he needed it to be, before letting go so that he could tear the tape. He tore several smaller pieces, so that he could stabilize it, before pulling a long piece to put over the rest. Then, he pulled on the shoulder of Logan’s button up, trying to get him to move around to the other side. After a few seconds of being yanked on, he understood what he wanted, and after accidentally running into the chair that Virgil was standing on, he eventually made his way over to the other side. Once again, Virgil guided his hand into position before taping the other side of the banner in place.

As soon as he was done, he patted Logan on the head in thanks, and grabbed the roll of streamers off of the table. The blue roll was the one he had originally had in his hand, and now that the banner was up, he could see it that much clearer. He ripped off a piece of tape, and stuck just a little bit of it to the wall where he wanted the streamer to be. Then, he placed the streamer, before smoothing the tape over it.

Virgil turned around where he was, reaching out to grab the scissors off of the table as well. He cut the streamer and then stuck them into his pocket so that he’d have them on hand. He stuck the other end of the streamer centered in the middle of the banner. Then, he put the blue streamers in his other pocket to replicate the design with the silver streamers.

It didn’t take long for him to have every archway leading into the dining room decorated with streamers. Some of them were branched across the archway, while others hung down in colorful representations of celebration. He got down off of the chair, and turned it back to face the table, as he finished the archway leading into the kitchen. Then, he pushed it back, before turning away so that he could set all of the things out of his pocket on the buffet table in the corner.

He smiled, satisfied with himself, before going back over to the table and putting on one of the party hats. There were several of them, in a variety of colors, and he was glad to see a dark blue one, which was close enough to his favorite color, purple. He settled it on his head, wincing slightly when the elastic band snapped his chin. He took the empty bags off of the table, and put them in the bag bag.

Diego snuck up behind him, and grabbed (not surprisingly) the yellow party hat. Then, he tapped Virgil on the shoulder.

It looks so cool in here! He smiled brightly, his eyes wide and almost amazed looking.

Thank you. He smiled just as brightly, before sitting down at the table to rest. Are Roman and Patton almost done? It was more of a curious question than a pointed one, and he tried hard to convey that by keeping his expression more surprised like rather than questioning.

Patton is waiting for the cake to cool so that he can put the icing on it.

Nice, what flavor? He knew that Logan didn’t like overly sweet flavors.

Marbled perhaps? I didn’t get a good look at it. He shrugged at the end of the statement, sitting down next to Virgil.

Eventually they were joined by Logan, who after having a conversation that Virgil couldn’t quite keep up with, was handed the silver party hat. He settled it on his own head, before leaning back in his chair and presumably turning his attention to Stella on the floor.

Meanwhile, Patton was adding the finishing touches to Logan’s cake. He had made a lemon cake, allowing for the frosting to be more icing like than anything, and it was decorated with candied lemon slices and pretty yellow flowers. He had written ‘Happy Birthday Logan’ in flowing Silver writing to finish it off. It was one of the only times his handwriting would ever look good.

Roman on the other hand, was just putting the finishing touches on his vegetarian lasagna. He sprinkled the cheese on top of it, before popping it back in the oven. He was very proud of this recipe, a mixture of mushrooms and black beans to create something akin to a meat texture (despite his other boyfriends’ embrace of the vegetarian life, he still indulged in meat every so often). As the cheese was melting, he stirred a little bit of ranch into the mashed potatoes, adding a little more creaminess to the dish. He also reached out to stir the pot of corn so that it wouldn’t burn.

Soon, the cheese had melted, and with a little bit of help from Diego, they carried all of the food out to the table. The festivities were in full swing, they all talked and laughed over dinner; they told stories about Logan, poking fun at him, reminding them all of his greatest days. It was exactly what a great birthday should be.

While they were chatting, Roman had dished up dinner, and now that it was on everyone’s plate, they all quieted down so they could eat. Patton took a bite of the lasagna and immediately his stomach turned, it was slimy, some of the filling was, the texture of what he could only guess was beans and maybe even mushrooms. His heart lurched, he had to forcibly grab the edge of the table to actually swallow down the bite had taken. He caught Virgil’s eye with a pleading look.

Virgil watched as Patton set his fork down and looked down at the ground, he had grabbed the table very tightly, before shooting him a pleading look. Virgil knocked on the table to get Roman’s attention. Ask Pat what’s wrong. His look was just as pleading.

“Pat, are you okay?” He turned to him, to see him hunched slightly over his plate, his knuckles white as he gripped the table.

“I’m fine.” He choked on his words, his gag reflex involuntarily reacting to what he had eaten. His mind was racing with the feeling the texture left behind, his mind blooming with all of the things the texture reminded him of, mud and snails and raw meat.

“Are you sure? You can tell me if something is wrong Patton.” Roman kept his voice as quiet as he could, maybe all the noise had upset him, or something had been said that startled him.

He started to cry as his mind almost hyper fixated on the taste in his mouth and the texture it represented and all the things that texture represented, his mind ran circles around it as tears streamed down his face. Not quiet, unfocused crying, but audible sobs and whimpers.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, I’m fine.” He murmured over and over again, pushing the plate away from him in an actual show of what was wrong.

Roman felt a flame of something like anger, and he didn’t know why, but he was mad at Patton. He had worked so hard, had done everything he was supposed to, didn’t use meat because Virgil was vegetarian, didn’t make anything overly sweet because Logan didn’t like sweet, didn’t make any of the dishes that Diego had specified so he wouldn’t cause a switch in him, he had done everything and now this.

“Well if you don’t like it Patton you can just not eat it.” Something that could be said with a warm and caring tone, something that should be said with a warm and caring tone, was full of malice and bitterness. “I worked hard to make something good and if you don’t like it I’m sorry.” He crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing in anger as he sat back down. Stupid Patton, why can’t you just like it, there’s nothing wrong with my cooking, you’re overreacting. It wasn’t that bad I tried it too, no one else seems bothered by it.

It reminded Patton of when his mother would get mad at him and send him to his room. And in his mind's eye, it was one and the same, Roman was his mother, hissing cruelly at him in french and sending him to his room for causing a problem at the dinner table. Despite the fact that Roman hadn't said it, he could still hear 'go away, go to your room.' in his voice. He got up, and fled from the table, moving as quick as he could without running, tears still streaming from his eyes.

#Love Carries On #tsSanders Sides #tsLogan #TsPatton #TsRoman #tsVirgil #tsDeceit #multi-chapter #poly #DLAMP #disabilityau #autism #DID #ADHD #HOH #deaf #blind

[b1a4-fanfics]

title: beholder by xstarlesscity

pairing: CNU/Sandeul

rating: PG-13

warning: (none)

summary: au in which they’re students and junghwan is blind. slice of life; more  to come in this verse.

#b1a4 fanfics #disabilityau #uniau #au #sandeul #cnu #shindeul #pg13 #oneshot #romance #fluff

[nadiasficrecs]

always there by tothemoonmydear 

pairing: harry/louis

summary: Louis Tomlinson, of One Direction, has been almost completely blind since birth, the exception being he can see blotches of shadows and shapes; just enough to keep himself standing upright. He’s supposed to be doing an interview about being blind in a world wide famous boyband, instead his answers once again drift off to Harry Styles.. 

#larry #disabilityau

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter II

Most days were like that, a small accident happening during the day, generally in the morning, Patton making lunch and sometimes dinner (one of his special interests was cooking), Virgil and Roman heading to work and Patton and Logan watching out for the house. The only thing that changed was the appearance of Diego’s alters. In fact, a week had passed since the incident and DD hadn’t made an appearance since. (DD only fronted when Diego was put under serious stress because he was such a young alter that he didn’t understand most things enough to be affected).

“So Logan, how blind are you actually?” Roman asked the question as soon as everyone had settled down after Patton served dinner.

“I have a slight deficiency but nothing severe.” He readjusted his glasses before picking up a forkful of mac and cheese and navigating it to his mouth.

“Don’t lie.”

“I assure you I am not lying.” His brow flicked upwards slightly.

“You are so lying!”

“No. I. am. Not. Roman.” He set his fork down, scooting back slightly.

“Yes you are! And you know how I know that you are?”

“How?”

“Your glasses have been broken all week and you haven’t said anything about it.” He crossed his arms, a childish smile on his face.

Logan’s face meanwhile, slackened, and he reached up carefully to touch his glasses, running over both lenses until he found the spidering of cracks. He ran his finger along it, feeling it all over, feeling that it even reached over to the sliver of things he could still see. He cursed himself, for not noticing the slight deformity in the little he could see. He pulled his hand away from the glasses, looking down at the table.

He couldn’t believe he’d never noticed, he couldn’t believe that the well structured lie he had built was crumbling before him, he couldn’t believe that it was Roman who had figured him out, he couldn’t believe that he hadn’t prepared himself for this, hadn’t thought that one day he wouldn’t be able to keep up the facade of being only mildly inconvenienced by his inability to see. He stood, feeling suddenly self-conscious. In his haste and and sudden surge of emotion he couldn’t quite remember where he was. It didn’t matter now; he turned away from the table; rushing towards his bedroom using the familiarity of the floorplan to make it there mostly unscathed. He wanted to lock the door, so that Patton wouldn’t be able to come check on him; he really didn’t want to talk about it, but it wouldn’t be fair to Virgil or Diego who he shared a room with. Instead, he opted to pull the door almost all the way closed. He didn’t need the others to see him cry, and he definitely didn’t need them to see that Roman had figured him out. He loved all four of his boyfriends, but Roman wasn’t known for his ability to notice things, whether social, or physical, Roman tended to be oblivious.

Logan drew the blanket from the end of the bed. It was a crochet blanket that Patton had made him for Christmas one year. But the memory of getting that blanket couldn’t cheer him, instead, he drew it tightly around his shoulders and tried to calm down. He had barely settled the blanket around his shoulders when the door pushed open. Virgil, by the footsteps, he felt the bed dipped, and an icy hand on his leg. Just one, like he was reassuring him. There was the sound of typing on a phone, and it went on for a long time. Several minutes, and Logan felt slightly relieved because maybe Virgil was just checking in on him, making sure he was okay. He held on to this belief, waiting for Virgil to see that he was fine so that he’d leave.

Then the google translate voice started. “Logan, I know you’re not okay. And you know you don’t have to lie to us about that right?” We wouldn’t think any less of you.” There was a pause, like Virgil was waiting for him to speak.

Logan spoke slowly, so that Virgil could read his lips. “It’s not about thinking less of me.” He looked around at all the things he couldn’t see. “I don’t want you all to know how helpless I am. It’s bad enough that people think less of me, but to be pitied, in my own house.”

Virgil reached out and took his hand, moving it from his thigh to clasp his hand in reassurance. “You’re not helpless.” This time, the voice hadn’t read it, he had said it.

His voice sort of strangled. Virgil didn’t speak often, because he couldn’t always get it to sound right. But this time, Logan understood what he was trying to say, and responded in like, trying not to let frustration fuel the rhythm he spoke in (otherwise Virge might not be able to understand him at all).

“Yes I am.” He pushed his hair back, letting out a breath to try and calm himself. “I can’t navigate around places without help, I bump into furniture and people. I can’t even see your face, I don’t know what you look like.” His voice cracked and he reached out to touch his face softly. “Last week I tripped over the table leg and broke a plate Virge!”

Virgil struggled to form words for a moment, making a few half thought out noises before sighing and reaching for his phone, the click-click of keys being typed made him feel anxious.

“Yeah, and I can’t hear when someone speaks to me, and Diego isn’t always Diego and Patton can’t handle the texture of a lot of food and Roman is loud and can’t focus sometimes. We all have problems Lo. But that doesn’t make you helpless, it just means you need more help than some.” There was a pause as he wrote a few more words. “Maybe you should get a service dog, to help you. And Roman and I can move the furniture so that it’s easier for you to get around.”

"We're not getting a dog. We don’t have the facilities to take care of a dog, and more importantly, I don’t need one.” He heard Virgil sigh, and knew full well that he’d have to let him win on one thing. “But I suppose that if you and Roman wish to, so long as you don’t hurt yourselves, I would appreciate the extra space to move through the house.”

Virgil squeezed his hand in what he assumed was excitement, and there was a quick burst of typing, before the automated voice spoke again, “We can do tomorrow since we’re both off work for the weekend.”

There was a silence, several minutes of it that stretched on, before another quick burst of clacking. “Do you feel better now?”

“Yes, thank you Virge.” There was a pause. “I love you, now I think we’ve been gone from the table for too long.” He stood up, and to show that he would try to accept help more, he said, “Will you guide me? So that I don’t bump into anything.”

In response, Virgil took his hand, pulling him towards the door gently. He led him back to the dining room, and Logan had to admit that it felt nice to not bump into sharp corners and furniture the entire time. Virgil helped him settle back into his spot, before walking back around to his side of the table and signing to Roman the short version of the story. It’s handled now, tomorrow you and I have to move furniture so that we have more space for him to move. I’m gonna keep trying to convince him to get a dog, but for right now, it’s not working out.

Roman nodded in response, and Patton waited to be filled in. He had understood a few signs in that statement, move, space, dog. That was all, and he felt excitement. Had Virgil convinced Logan to get a seeing eye dog? He bounced in excitement, smiling at Logan despite the fact that he couldn’t see it.

After all the excitement at dinner, they all felt like it would be best to wind down with a movie. Which led to an argument about which movie to watch, Roman and Diego wanted to watch a disney movie, though Diego warned that a disney movie would probably cause Dallas to front or at least co-con, Logan said that there was a new science fiction movie he wanted to watch, and Patton and Virgil were stuck in the middle. In the end, with much grumbling from Roman, they agreed to watch Logan’s movie.

Patton made sure the volume was set so that both Logan could enjoy the movie and Roman could hear it, and let Virgil mess around with the closed captions settings while he made popcorn. He came back in just as the movie started, snuggling in next to Logan and Roman as the movie began. Fifteen minutes in and his mind started to drift, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to picture the kind of dog that Logan would get.

Logan would like a very smart dog, and he’d probably want it to be energetic too, because he’d want us to love them with all our hearts. Maybe a german shepard, or a Collie. Or maybe even a golden retriever. We could train it to be a family dog too, so that kids could come up and pet them in public. They’d know all sorts of games they could play with D and I. Maybe then Logan could get a job like he wanted. Oh I bet he’ll get a german shepard because it looks sleek and elegant and smart like him. He smiled to himself. All this warmth and nice thoughts and general good feelings of the room made him start to feel tired. He cuddled into Roman, nestling into the side of his neck as he reached out to grab Logan’s sweater. It was a habit of his; to grab soft items near him, and Logan always wore soft sweaters over his button up and tie.

He stopped to ponder on that thought, why Logan always wore a tie, and dressed so nicely for the fact that his main job was making sure the rest of them did their jobs. Occasionally, he still did interviews for jobs, but not so much lately. It was almost like he was giving up. Patton didn’t get very far into that thought process before he fell asleep, clinging to Logan’s sweater but nestled into Roman.

By the time the movie finished, Patton was deeply asleep and Diego was nearing the same. All of them were a little bit tired, even Virgil (who has insomnia). Roman insisted on carrying Patton back to their room, so the other three were left to clean up the bowl of popcorn really quick and then go to their own rooms. Diego decided that tonight he wanted to sleep in Virgil and Logan’s room, (they had separate rooms because the sound of Logan’s snoring upset Patton and he couldn’t sleep) so he followed them in, snuggling up against them as he fell asleep.

#Love Carries On #TsLogan #TsPatton #TsRoman #TsVirgil #TsDeceit #DisabilityAU #Sander sides #DLAMP #angst #fluff #multi-chapter #poly #HOH #DID #Blind #Deaf #ADHD #autism

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter V

The next morning, Logan was up sharply at nine-thirty, first to let Stella out to the bathroom, then to make sure that one of his boyfriend’s who could drive was awake. He decided to wake up Patton this time. Virgil had driven him to the doctor, and Roman had taken him to the vet and to the store; so he figured that Patton would probably like to drive today.

He woke him up, by shaking his shoulder softly. Patton sat up after a few minutes of shaking, and pouted at him. “Hey Logie.” He yawned. “What do you need?”

“I assumed you would like breakfast before we left. It’s your turn to drive.” He stepped back, giving him room to stand up, unconsciously reaching out a hand to make sure he didn’t run into anything.

“Oh, right, let me get dressed and then I can make something simple for breakfast and we can get on the road.” He pushed his hair out of his eyes, reaching around for his glasses.

Logan nodded to him, walking out of the room. The sound of Patton fumbling for his glasses (for surely that had to be the sound he had heard) reminded him that he didn’t put his glasses on today. He stopped where he was, standing in the middle of the hallway. To anyone else this might’ve been a simple realization, but for Logan, it sent him into a dizzying attack of. . . relief? He reached up to touch his face, and it didn’t really upset him that he didn’t have his glasses, not like it would’ve last week. It felt nice to not always have to wear glasses and pretend to be able to see.

He shook his head, and went back to walking to the kitchen. Once there, he sat down in the breakfast nook; knowing full well that Patton would come bounding in and whip up some simple breakfast for them both. He settled himself in the chair, and waited.

He only waited a few minutes before there was the sound of footsteps, semi-fast ones, how Patton’s sounded. “Logie! I’ll make breakfast and then we can go.”

“Okay Pat, but nothing too complex, the drive is an hour and the appointment is at noon.” He doubted it would take that long, but sometimes Patton surprised him.

“Okie dokie, Logie.” he giggled to himself, always so childish when he first woke up.

He settled into his place, allowing his nose to take in all the scents of whatever Patton was making, it smelled like pancakes, and eggs maybe. And coffee; Logan smiled. He loved coffee, just straight black; Patton on the other hand, preferred to add tons of creamer and sugar to his. There was another scent, something sweet; maybe a pastry or something.

After about Twenty minutes of silence, Logan just sitting in his chair, mulling over the future, and Patton focused on his cooking, Logan finally said something.

“You know, after I got hit by that car, I was in the hospital.” He paused, to think of the best phrasing. “And I got a call, from the school I was working at. That they had given my job to someone else. I wasn’t a science teacher anymore.”

“I’m sorry Lo.” Patton’s words were half-hearted and quiet, he didn’t want to stop Logan from talking, but he did want to express his feelings

“I was lost, I didn’t have my job, I didn’t have my sight, I was useless.” He readjusted his tie. “My husband left me, he said that I was ‘too sad’ to have in his life. Just a quiet divorce, he didn’t ask for anything, not even the house, I was alone and in so much pain.” He paused, this time to stop himself from crying. He took a deep breath. “I was so mad, at the world, at me, at him. I was mad at everyone. And then, one day, out of curiosity, and honest boredom, I downloaded a chatting app.” his face broke into a smile and he turned in the general direction of Patton.

“This is the good part, this is where you come in.”

“Awh, you think us meeting is the good part?” Patton blushed as he turned towards Logan.

“Of course, I met you and Virge, and Virge introduced me to Diego, who he was dating, and then you introduced me to Roman; and we started dating, you, me, and Roman.” He pushed his hair back. “And then Virge and I started dating, which brought Diego into our relationship. And now we’re all together.”

Patton came over and sat down next to him, setting a hand on his. “And I’m glad we’re all together. I love all of you so much.” He leaned over and pecked him on the cheek. “Breakfast should be done in fifteen, twenty minutes ish. You can keep talking if you want.” Even if he couldn’t quite understand all of the feelings that went into Logan’s story, he wanted to hear more. “I feel like I don’t know nearly enough about you.”

“Why don’t you talk for a while.” He suggested, resting his head on one of his hands.

“What should I talk about?”

“I don’t know, anything. Describe the house to me, tell me about your favorite outfit. Tell me about the things I can’t see.”

“So the kitchen, my favorite place in the house, the walls are yellow.” He smiled. “Roman insists that all kitchens should be yellow. It’s sort of like a butter yellow, really light. It’s like how happiness feels, warm. And all of the counters are dark grey, sort of like sadness but it really highlights how the walls look.”

“That sounds nice.” Logan reached out to take his hand.

“And the table is white, it’s painted but it’s sort of chipped, and so are the chairs. They look farmhousy.”

“That’s not a word, the word you’re looking for is rustic.”

“Oh.” He stopped to think about that. “So it looks really rustic and the floor reminds me of like an old diner because it's checkered black and white, like a chess board.” he grabs Logan’s hand. “And today, for good luck, I’m wearing my favorite sweater, ‘course it’s so hot I’ve got it tied around my shoulders. I’m wearing the blue polo Virgil got me for my birthday last year.” His smile brightened as he touched the polo.

“Uhh, what else.” He stopped to think about it.

“Tell me about things you like.” Logan had heard mentions of Patton’s special interests before, but he never got to talk about them long before something happened.

Logan couldn’t see it, but it was like a light had flickered on inside of Patton, His smile brightened so much it practically split his face, and his leg started bouncing to burn off some of his extreme energy. For the next ten minutes he went on a rant about baking, not cooking, because they were not the same thing, but baking. He just rambled, talking about pastries, and different doughs, he explains how certain exotic fruits add different flavors. He was so deep into his ramble on baking, that when the timer went off to alert him to whatever was in the oven being done, he physically jolted.

“Ooh my cinnabuns are done.” He remarked somewhat quietly. “Let me pull those out and you can have one of those or some pancakes.” He got up and was just bustling away when he remarked, “Oh! And coffee.”

“Pancakes would be fine; thank you.” He wasn’t a fan of sweet things. “And coffee.”

“Of course dear.” He poured coffee into Logan’s favorite mug, the one he had brought with him when he moved, the one with the words World’s Best Teacher written in fading letters.

Patton had wondered about the mug before, wondered if he had gotten it because of his tendency to give long speeches of information, wondered if he had bought it for himself, or if someone had bought it for him, a past partner or friend. Now he knew, the mug was a link to his past, to a time when Logan could still see and he was a teacher. Now all he had left to wonder, who had given it to him.

He shook his head, putting a few pancakes on Logan’s plate with some butter on it, the way that he liked it. Then he brought them over to Logan. He set them down, and nodded his head at the quiet ‘thank you’ he received before going back over to put a cinnabon on his plate and add some creamer to the coffee he poured.

They finished breakfast in silence, each content to keep their thoughts private as they ate the food Patton had prepared. As soon as he was done, Patton put his dishes in the sink and put the rest of the food away, knowing that when his other three boyfriends woke up they’d probably be hungry. He scribbled out a note to let them all know where they had gone and that there was food in the fridge, before going to sit back down and wait for Logan to finish his coffee.

As soon as Logan was done with his coffee he let Stella go to the bathroom once more before loading her up into Virgil’s car (which is the one they decided to take for this endeavour). The city that the service dog training facility was in was an hour drive from Roman’s ranch. Patton managed it quite well, pulling through traffic like he’d been driving since he was twelve. They arrived at the facility fifteen minutes early.

“Let me clip Stella’s leash and then we can go in.” He turned around and clipped the leash after fumbling with the harness for a while.

As soon as he had it clipped he opened his door and stepped out, running his hand over the door until he could find the handle. Then, after pulling it open, he reached around and went searching for the handle of the leash. He grabbed it, and then stepped away.

“Stella, come.” He didn’t pull on the leash, instead waiting to feel it slacken in his hand and the brush of her fur against his leg. He reached out and shut the door.

“Behind.” Patton murmured as he maneuvered around, it was something he had picked up early into their relationship, calling where he was so that Logan could locate him.

Then he felt a hand on his wrist, leading him just slightly towards the door. Patton pushed the glass doors open, and helped to pull Logan so that he wouldn’t run into anything. Then he helped him locate the front desk.

“Hello, My name is Logan Hollow. I’m here for a consultation.” He kept his tone clipped but respectful.

“Of course, Crystal told me to expect you, she’s right through there.”

The woman gestured towards a set of doors that Logan couldn’t see before Patton leaned in and whispered, “Straight ahead but slightly to the right, I’ll lead you.” He pulled him towards the doors.

As soon as they were there, Patton pushed them open and led him towards a seating area with a low sitting coffee table. He directed Logan towards one of the chairs. Logan sat down, “Stella, sit.” He commanded in a soft voice.

“So that’s Stella then.” Her voice was strong, but rhythmic, like she had a steady beat to life that she followed. “And you are?” She gestured to Logan.

Logan caught the movement just barely out of the corner of his slightly useful eye. “I am Logan, I believe we spoke on the phone yesterday.” He phrased it like a question, but it wasn’t.

“Ah, and you are?”

“Patton, Patton Faucheux.” He smiled, and with a slight nod declined the hand she offered.

“You referred to this meeting as a consultation Logan, so hearing what your expectations of this meeting might be would help to clarify all of the information you’ll need from me.”

“Well we picked up Stella yesterday from a shelter. The woman there said that she was training to be a service dog, before her owner sadly passed away. What I would like to know is that requirements she must meet to be considered a service dog.” He crossed one leg over another. “I am of course blind, and so having a dog like Stella that could help to lead me around and make sure I don’t get hurt would be very nice.”

“I see.” She paused, like she might’ve been waiting for one of the others to speak, before continuing her statement. “Now what does Stella know? If she was training to be a service dog then she must know something.”

“It appears that she knows all basic voice commands, and possibly hand commands though I do not know what Virgil might have tested her on. Of course I don’t know what all I need to test her on because I do not know all of the things that a service dog must be trained on.”

“Which is where I come in.” There was an evident smile in her voice. “Well, all of the basic commands; as well as a few extra on where she should be. In, out, before, behind, left, right. All of these to help her know where to be when you need assistance. She also must know to defecate on command; of course she needs to be able to handle social situations along with all of the training that goes with helping you navigate around.”

“I see; well she has shown no malice towards any of my partners, so I do suppose that she’s probably pretty good at being social. She hasn’t barked once in the car, which makes me assume that she also has good manners when it comes to being social.”

“What would all of her training cost?” Patton piped up, his main worry being affording her training.

“Well, the good thing is that you can actually train Stella at home. She does have to have a minimum of one hundred and twenty hours of training, and to completely train her because that’s just the minimum can take years, but having a helping hand like that is well worth the time and wait. Really, all of that can be done at home and then you can get her certified through online or even come here. I can test her and as long as she passes every test we can put in for her to get certified. You can find all sorts of manuals and audiobooks on training a service dog.”

“That sounds like a good plan, and that would also help her get acquainted with everyone and for us to get acquainted with her. Thank you.” He stood up, considering this to be the end of the conversation.

“You’re very welcome, feel free to come back if you would like training advice or any other type of help.” This time she didn’t reach out for a hand shake from either, instead gesturing towards the door with a polite smile.

“Stella come.” Logan’s voice was equally as quiet as it had been when he gave the first command fifteen minutes ago.

They got in the car, and Patton drove home, only stopping to fill the gas tank and buy a few groceries. As soon as they got home, they were greeted with the sight of the other three lounging on the couch watching a movie. Logan and Patton joined them, Logan sitting near the armrest so that he could have Stella lay down next to him. They watched movies for hours, and in between picking new ones Logan filled them in on what they had learned at the facility.

In the end they ordered take-out for dinner, before all settling in for the night; before bed, Logan sat in the chair by the window and just pet Stella, he was preparing himself for the next quite possibly two years of his life. And it felt good, it felt right to have a dog, and to have told the truth, and to finally be able to be who he was and to be able to fix what he could. And admittedly, it felt nice to have told Patton the whole story like that.He sighed, before getting up.

“In Stella.” He held open the door to the crate, listening to her footsteps and hearing her settling in. Then, he went to bed, curling up next to Diego, and pulling some of the blanket away from Virgil, he fell asleep to the gentle breathing of two of his partners, a soft smile on his face.

#Love Carries On #ts sanders sides #tslogan #tspatton #tsroman #tsvirgil #TsDeceit #DLAMP #poly #multi-chapter #fluff #angst #disabilityau #hoh #DID #Blind #Deaf #ADHD #Autism

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter XII

TW: Manipulative/questionable behavior

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Patton had barely gotten the guitar stored in the basement closet, when Virgil arrived home, with Roman in the front seat. They came inside, throwing their jackets near the coat tree, a look of excitement on their face. 

“Let’s get ready!” Roman clapped his hands.

 They had decided that each of them would go as a disney prince. Diego as Naveen, Roman as Eric, Patton as Kristoff, Logan as Charming and Virgil as Adam. Each of the costumes had been measured, designed and sewn by Roman so that they would perfectly resemble the movie, he was very excited to go out. Each of the outfits had been hung in Roman’s closet, wrapped in plastic to keep it from getting ripped or destroyed. He brought out the bags and handed them to each person in turn. Diego closed the door out of habit and they all stripped to change into their outfits. Logan had to be directed somewhat but soon he had everything on that he needed. 

Soon enough they were all dressed, and their hair was mostly fixed, with Roman adding a few touch ups to Logan’s hair. Then, they were ready to go. He grabbed his keys off of the nightstand, which thankfully Patton had remembered to return and went out to his car. 

With Patton in the front seat, the other three situated themselves in the back seat. Roman turned the key, and was about to back out when he stopped and frowned. 

“Did you guys go somewhere today?” 

Patton panicked, he didn’t want to tell Roman where they had gone, or that they had gone anywhere because otherwise he’d demand answers. “No.” he blurted out, keeping his tone fairly calm. 

“Are you sure? Cause there’s less gas in it than there was yesterday.”

“Maybe you read it wrong.” Even as he said it, he winced. 

“I know how to read a gas gauge. Now why are you lying to me?” 

“I’m not, we didn’t go anywhere.” 

“Yes you did!” He turned off the car and turned around. “Diego? Logan?” but neither of them would meet his gaze.  “Why are you lying?” 

“I’m not.” Patton crossed his arms, turning to face out the window.

“Fine.” Roman pulled the keys from the car, storming off back inside. 

Virgil opened the door, but instead of getting out and going inside, he walked back to his car, turning to patiently wait for them. They all got out, Getting into Virgil’s car. Virgil stopped to sign something to Diego, who interpreted for the rest of them. 

“V says, ‘while you shouldn’t have lied to him, he reacted like a baby, so we’re going out without him. If he texts me later and wants me to come get him, we’ll do that.’” 

“Are you sure V? I don’t want him to think we hate him, what if he’s mad at me?” 

Logan answered for him. “Then that’s his problem, you’re not in charge of other people’s feelings Pat. Besides, I doubt he hates you, you know how he is.” 

They headed for the city, mostly silent because Virgil had turned on some music and turned it up enough that he could feel the vibrations in the car. They were going bar hopping, a tradition of theirs that generally included very little drinking but a whole lot of dancing. Logan and Virgil would stick by one of their partners (generally Patton or Diego) while the other two danced by themselves, it was a tradition so that everyone could have a good time, except tonight, Patton’s mind was on Roman back at home. 

Roman had heard the car pull out of the drive and was currently sitting on the couch, his arms crossed. Why didn’t they just tell me where they had went? Are they keeping secrets from me? Why? Do they hate me? What if they hate me. Did I do something wrong? He didn’t want to think about them maybe hating him, so he turned on the TV and tried to relax. 

He hadn’t changed out of his costume, the white shirt surprisingly comfortable. He tried to distract himself, but all that was on his mind was what his partners were up to. I bet they’re having a good time dancing, and even as he tried to keep the thoughts in the mostly positive, with a hint of retribution they started to slip a little, They’re probably having a whole bunch of fun without me, and they’re probably talking trash on me and dancing without me, and dancing with someone new and what if they’re trying to replace me? And I bet they just hate me, and I bet they want me gone and they probably think I’m stupid and - -

He turned off the TV, and got up, pushing his hair back in worry and frustration. He yanked his phone out of his pocket, calling Patton. “Please pick up, please pick up, I need you to pick up.” 

After a few rings he heard the voice of one of his partners, and the sounds of a bar in the background. “Ro? Hello, can you hear me?” 

“Pat? Oh thank god you answered. You don’t hate me right? And you don’t think I’m stupid? You're not talking trash about me?” 

“What? No of course not Ro, I love you, we love you. Is everything alright?” There was a lot of worry in his tone. “Maybe we should come home, are you okay? Hold on, Virge is signing something and D is trying to translate.” 

There were mumbles from the other line. “Virge is asking if you want him to come get you so that you can party with us.” 

“Uhm, no. I just. . . stay on the phone with me?” Part of him just wanted the closeness of hearing Patton on the other line, but another part of him, a part of him that he was a little too in touch with wanted, to some degree, ruin Patton’s evening, keep him from dancing. 

“Virgil says that maybe he should just come get you.” 

“Tell him no.” 

“Why not?” 

Roman didn’t have a good answer. “Just leave me then, I’ll be fine.” He hung up the phone angrily. Why can’t they ever let me have what I want? It’s not like I was going to hurt him or anything. I- - his thoughts were cut off by the phone ringing. 

It was Patton. He ignored it. There were several more calls, but he ignored them too. He wanted them to feel guilty. The calls stopped after half an hour, which was fine with Roman, he was getting a little annoyed anyway, he wanted them to feel bad, but he didn’t want them to call him that much. 

After fifteen minutes, with not a peep from any of his boyfriends, not a reprimanding text, not another call, not so much as a peep, he started to feel a little worried. Surely they wouldn’t quit cold turkey like that. He turned up the sound on the TV to drown out his thoughts. 

Ten minutes after that, he became seriously concerned. He thought about texting them, or one of them, but he put that thought from his mind. He didn’t want to relieve them of their guilt too quickly.

Another five minutes passed and he started to get really seriously concerned. He couldn’t sit still, getting up, he grabbed his phone with the haste of someone grabbing a lifeline. He dialed Patton’s number, his finger hovering over the call button.

 Back and forth. He paced. Back and forth. To the wall, back to the couch. Touch the arm of the couch, accidentally kick the wall, linger on the couch, the wall. He was just about to press the button, when the door opened. 

He saw it out of the corner of his eye, and though it was a little difficult for him to hear, he saw it and it startled him, something moving when he didn’t expect it. He dropped his phone, and turned towards the opening door. 

It was Virgil, just Virgil. Virgil stepped into the living room, closing the door slowly. He stared at Roman, waiting for him to speak. He didn’t. 

He signed with urgency, or firmness, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes dark. We need to talk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#Love Carries On #multichapter #angst #fluff #tslogan #Tsroman #TsDeceit #TsJanus #TsPatton #TsVirgil #sanderssides #tsau #disabilityAU #poly #adhd #did #hoh #autism #deaf #blind #Dlamp

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter XIII

TW: Somewhat qestionable behavior

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil dragged him into the kitchen, the place where most serious discussions took place. As soon as they were both standing in a clear space, Virgil began to sign, his lips turned down in a somewhat controlled frown. 

You really upset Pat with that. He thought you might’ve done something crazy. 

Roman sighed out loud, Well I didn’t, you don’t have to worry.

We wouldn’t have to if you would behave yourself. He crossed his arms after the statement, trying not to get angry for the sake of clear signing. 

I don’t need to behave, I’m not a child. He was clearly angry, his brows furrowed and eyes blazing. 

Yes you do. You need to behave like an adult, and right now you aren’t. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down so that he wouldn’t stroke the flame. 

Whatever. He began to walk away, but when Virgil didn’t stop him he whirled around. Why are you so mean to me? He signed it with as much force as he could, if he had been verbalizing, he might’ve screamed it. 

I don’t know what you mean. Roman you are acting like a child, a manipulative spoiled child. Virgil stepped back even further. 

Shut up. No I’m not. He knew that Virgil was right, but he didn’t need to say it, he didn’t need to hurt him like that. You’re being mean. 

Would you listen to anyone else besides yourself for a few minutes? Now his signs were getting forceful, but he stopped, wiggling his fingers with a slow movement. I’m not being mean to you, I’m trying to help you so that you don’t end up hurting someone you love. 

Fine. Roman shot him a somewhat spiteful glance and actually left, walking into the living room with heavy stomps. Virgil followed behind him carefully. 

Patton lied to me, and you're taking his side. Why don’t you just go back to them and leave me alone. He thrust Virgil’s coat off the hook at him.

I’m not taking his side. He refused to take the coat. He shouldn’t have lied to you - - 

Then why are you taking his side? 

Let me finish. There was exasperation in his signs. He shouldn’t have lied to you, but, you shouldn’t have reacted the way you did. 

I can react however I like because it’s my life. 

Virgil looked even more exasperated at his statement, still refusing the coat thrust at him. You’re right you do, but you have no right thrusting it all on to Patton and being mad at everyone else just because you didn’t get your way. Roman please, I’m not trying to upset you, I’m not trying to make you mad, but you hurt Patton and you’ve hurt all of us and you’ve never apologized. You make it everyone else’s problem when you’re hurt but it’s never yours if you hurt someone. It’s time you learn to think and start owning up to your mistakes. 

Get. Out. He threw the coat at him, shouldering past him to get to his room. Halfway down the hallway he heard the door close. He made his way into Patton and his room, slamming the door as he threw himself down on the bed. 

Why is he so mean to me? I didn’t do anything to him, besides Patton deserved it. He thought bitterly, kicking off his shoes so he could settle on the bed. 

Did he though? A passive aggressive voice whispered. What did he do to deserve it? 

“He hurt me and he lied to me.” He muttered out loud, unaware that he was responding to a voice in his head out loud. 

And? You shouldn’t hurt him back. 

Before he could argue his point and press onwards with his anger, there was a knock on the door, it opened slowly. Virgil walked into the room and sat down on the bed. 

What do you want? Go away. Roman signed it then turned away. 

Virgil reached out, grabbing his shoulder until he turned back towards him. I want you to listen to me. 

Why? You never listen to me. He hoped that his word stung. 

Roman all of us have to listen to you because you’re the loudest and you never let anyone else have feelings. There was little to no emotion on his face, trying to sign the words with factual movements. 

That gave Roman pause, he tried to think of a time when his feelings or his opinion had been ignored. There were very few instances, and all of them had ended in him getting mad and telling them that they hated him. Oh.

Exactly, you’re being unfair to the rest of us. 

Roman wasn’t ready to admit defeat, didn’t want to. It would mean that he had done something wrong and he would have to admit he wasn’t perfect. And what exactly do you want me to do about it now? 

Right now? Nothing, but when I get back from getting the others you could start with apologizing. And then tomorrow we’ll start more on what you could do. He kept his signs controlled and determined, trying to balance an expression between happiness and firmness. He stood up, heading towards the door. Do you want to come with? 

Uh, no. I’ll stay here. Roman didn’t want to have to apologize until the very last second. 

Virgil nodded very slowly, like he understood why Roman was doing what he was doing. Okay, see you when I get home. I love you. He signed the last statement with a soft smile, trying to express that even if they were fighting he still loved him with all of his heart. 

I love you. He signed back, his expression similar. 

With that, Virgil left to go get their other boyfriends and Roman settled himself on the bed, waiting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#Love Carries On #fluff #angst #multi-chapter #Sanderssides #TsSanderssides #poly #Dlamp #disabilityau #TsRoman #TsPatton #TsLogan #TsVirgil #Tsdeceit #TsJanus #ADHD #HOH #DID #Autism #Blind #Deaf

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter IV

The next morning, Logan and Virgil left early in the morning to go to the doctor, while the other three took off for the local dog shelter and then to the training facility. The second they walked into the shelter, something about Diego changed. They had filled him in on the plan, but when he walked in, his eyes went flat. He furrowed his brow, teetering on his feet and almost crashing into Roman. Patton reached out and grabbed his shoulder, helping him to stay upright. He blinked a few times, before the look cleared and he smiled brightly.

“Doggies.” He whispered, looking around at them all with wide eyes.

“Yes, D. Doggies.” Patto responded. He looked around at all the different dogs, he saw a few that caught his eye, larger dogs with a playful look in their eyes. But none of them seemed right.

The woman who was helping them with a dog walked behind them, gesturing to dogs and providing information about them. Roman walked away from the other two so that he could think without the woman talking to him. That’s when he saw her. She was sitting laying in the middle of her kennel, panting, but at the appearance of Roman; she sat up, her ears pointed at attention. When Roman was about thirteen he had hyperfocused on learning everything he could about dogs, and from what he remembered, she appeared to be pure-bread. She was a long haired German shepherd, her fur was black and what could only be described as orange or golden. She watched Roman, either waiting for some type of command or waiting for him to pet her.

The woman hurried to catch up to Roman. “That’s Stella, really a sad story. She was brought in after her last owner died. The people who brought her in said she used to be a service dog, and that she might not go well because she wasn’t exclusively a pet.” She leaned towards the fence, like she was fond of Stella. “We’re a nonkill shelter, and quite frankly she’s a sweetheart.”

Roman bounced excitedly, This is the perfect dog for Logie. “Pat, D! I found the dog for Logie.” he gestured them over, clapping his hands.

They came over, and after relaying the information he learned about Stella; they were fully prepared to adopt her. Roman texted Virgil about her, and waited for his go ahead. They wanted everyone to love her just as much as he did.

Virgil received the text as soon as they had stepped into the doctor’s office. It buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled out his phone just as Logan tapped him on the shoulder to say something.

“How’s the dog shopping going?” He asked carefully.

He couldn’t see the shock on Virgil’s face but it wasn’t hard to assume that he was surprised. “You are aware that Roman is rather loud yes? Besides, you’d have to tell me at one point, I would need to be present when the dog was being trained.”

Virgil sighed, and had his phone read the message to Logan. “We found a dog! Her name is Stella and she’s really pretty! I’ll send you a picture. The lady said that she was training to be a service dog, I bet Logie will love her.”

Logan laughed, and pulled out his phone. “Call Roman.” He spoke to his phone, and the phone started ringing.

He answered after two rings, trying not to sound like he was covering for something. “Hey Lo, how’s the doctor’s going?”

“Roman, I know you’re trying to find me a dog.”

Silence.

“And while I thought it was a bad idea, and I still think it might be a bad idea. Patton was right; I should make use of every opportunity I may have to help myself.” A lie, he was only truly accepting the dog to make Patton and the rest of them happy, he didn’t really want a dog because of how people might look at him.

“I’m glad you’re on board.” Roman smiled in excitement.

“Well you’d need me to train her anyhow.”

“Mr. Hollow.”

“I’ve got to go Ro, but get Stella, and we and we can talk about her training when we get home.” He hung up, and reached out for Virgil’s hand to lead him to the door.

Roman closed his phone and turned back to the other three. “Logan knew we wanted to get him a dog.”

“What did he say?”

“He said that we should get the dog so that he can help us train her and take all advantages of anything that could help him.” He shrugged, but turned to the woman. “How does this all work?”

“You’ll sign some papers, there are a few fees that need to be paid. After that, you have a few things you should do for your dog; but nothing that comes with me.” She opened the kennel door, and let Stella out.

Stella sniffed at the three standing there, and then sat down and waited for them to pet her. Roman moved towards her first, petting her ears and her neck, smiling when she pushed against his hand. The woman brought over a leash and clipped it to Stella’s collar. She handed the handle to Roman, and then led them back towards the front room.

“I’ll get the papers so that you can sign for her.” She slipped into a back room, coming back with a paper. “It’ll be a $25 dollar adoption fee and a signature here and then she’s yours.”

Roman nodded and reached into his pocket for his wallet while Patton signed for Stella. He pulled out the money and set it on the counter. The lady took the money, looked over the paperwork and then bid them goodbye. As soon as they were out to the parking lot, they started to figure out how to fit everyone in Roman’s red 2000 Taurus. He drove, and Patton sat in the passenger seat. Dorian (who it appeared Diego had switched to) insisted on sitting next to the new dog.

He spent the entire time they drove home petting Stella, and cooing at her. As soon as they got home (deciding that the first order of business was to go home so that she would know where she was living and she could explore), Roman made a call to the veterinarian clinic in town. He found out from the person who had answered the phone that they had an open spot in about an hour. He set up the appointment, glad that Logan and Virgil should be home by then so that Logan could meet Stella.

They got home fifteen minutes before Roman wanted to leave to take Stella for a checkup. The minute they opened the door, she went from panting on the floor, her head in Dorian’s lap, to sitting up stiffly, her ears perked and eyes trained on the door. Virgil saw her immediately, and recalling what his parents had taught him when they had a dog, he patted his thigh.

As if waiting for this silent command, Stella bounded over to him, wagging her tail excitedly. He did the hand command for sit, and she followed his commands with ease. He grabbed Logan’s hand and led him down towards her. He seemed briefly confused, and then he felt the dog and a smile broke across his face.

“Hi Stella.” He murmured, and he couldn’t see it, but her tail started wagging.

“Do you want to see if she knows voice commands?” Roman translated Virgil’s signs as he came over. “Or that’s what Virgil asks anyway.”

“Uhm, okay.” He cleared his throat, before turning towards where he thought Virgil was (based on the hand on his, towards his left). “What should I say?”

“Well she’s already sitting. So maybe lay down, or see if she knows how to heel.”

“Okay, umm, down.” He used a firm tone, and despite the fact that he had been petting her seconds before, her fur disappeared from underneath his fingers and he assumed that she was laying down now.

He stepped away from Virgil and more towards the center of the room. “Stella heel.”

He felt her brush up against him, and then the feeling of her sitting down, it was clear that she knew most commands. He reached down and pet her. “Good girl.” His tone was warm. He had been hesitant about getting a dog simply because he was unsure how much love he had, he loved four men, surely that was all his heart could hold, but this dog had already secured a place in his heart.

“Well, I need to take her to the vet so they can do a checkup and make sure she has her shots.” He grabbed his keys off the table. “Want to come along?” He could tell that Logan was already attached to her. “And then afterwards we’ll go shopping to get her all of her things.”

“I would like to go yes.”

“Excellent, we need to leave like right now though.”

“I see.” He walked back towards the door, standing in front of it. He couldn’t hear Stella near him, so he put out his hand just a little bit. “Stella, come.”

Immediately he heard her claws against the floor, and then felt her head against his hand. “Let’s go.” He directed the comment at Roman, stepping back to let him open the door so that they could go get in the car.

Logan opened the back door and patted the seat; waiting for Stella to get in and lay down. As soon as he felt her shift the seat, he closed the door; walking around to the passenger side. He could only tell the difference because Roman directed him around, shouting out the window to direct him.

As soon as he was seated, and buckled in, Roman started the car. It was a short drive into town. The arrived a few minutes early and seated themselves in the waiting room. Stella laying at Logan’s feet. She’d clearly picked her favorite even though she had her head rested on Roman’s foot.

The nurse came out, and seeing as Logan, Roman and Stella were the only people in the waiting room, she gestured them back. They got Stella up on the table, and Logan and Roman stood near the door awkwardly.

Thankfully the appointment went well, the man (who’s name was Dr. Martins) could see nothing wrong with her, she seemed to have a lot of energy and would need some definite exercise, she was about two years old. Nothing out of the ordinary, because the files the lady at the shelter had provided didn’t have a list of shots, he gave her a rabies shot, along with her distemper, parvo, and adenovirus shots. Then, he billed them for it and sent them on their way.

“I’m glad she was in good health.” Logan commented as they went back out and got into the car.

“Yeah so am I.” Roman started the car. “I guess on to Walmart we go, then we’ll make a call to the service training facility.”

“There’s one in town?” Logan couldn’t recall any mentions of that place in town, and if there was he didn’t remember it.

“No, but the closest city has one, and it has really good reviews. I assume they’ll train Stella very well.”

“I presume I will be making the call.” He raised his eyebrow, turning to face him.

“It’d be best yeah.” He paused to navigate a turn. “She’s your dog.”

“Roman, she may have been meant for me but she’s all of ours dog.” He reached back, seeking out her head so he could pet her. He could hear her tail hitting the seat and the car panel.

Finally, he felt her under his hand, and gave her head a warm pat. “Can you get the number pulled up then so that I can dial and you can drive?”

Roman handed him the phone after a couple minutes, and he could hear it ringing. He held it up to his ear; just as someone on the other line picked up.

“Hello, this is Crystal, how can I help you?”

“Hello, my name is Logan Hollow.” He paused to consider what to say. “I would like to talk with someone about setting up a consultation or a time when I can talk to someone about training a service dog.”

There was a pause, like someone was writing something out, or maybe checking something. “We’ve got a lot going on today but tomorrow might be a good time to come in and we can meet you, meet your dog.”

“That should work out,” He paused again, not entirely sure what he can say. “Thank you.”

“We have nine in the morning and noon open if you’d like to pick a time.”

“Noon should work.” He knew how his boyfriend’s were about waking up. “Alrighty.” There was a pause as the woman entered that into the computer. “Thank you, I’ll see you tomorrow at noon Logan.”

“Okay, thank you.” There was a beep as the woman hung up, just as Roman pulled into the parking of Walmart.

“Do you want to come in with me? Or stay here with Stella while I get all the things?”

“I’ll go in, we can crack a window for Stella.” He didn’t want to say it, but Roman tended to be forgetful, so it wouldn’t surprise him if he forgot something important while they were shopping.

“Okay, should I leave the car on then?” He paused before turning the key.

“No, I believe that if we roll the window down she should be okay.” He reached back and hit the button.

He finished rolling it down a little bit and opened his door, allowing Roman to turn off the car and get out. They walked into Walmart, Roman’s hand on his wrist to guide him inside and make sure he didn't get hurt. As soon as they were inside, Roman grabbed a cart and they assumed their usual positions; Logan resting against the handle of the cart while Roman stood near the front with his hands on the cart, guiding it around.

“Where to first?” Roman said it as quietly as he could, stepping closer to Logan as he spoke.

“The pet aisle. We need to get bowls, food, toys, treats, probably a harness, pet bags just in case. A bed or somewhere she can sleep.” He paused his movements. “Which means, no dogs on the furniture.” He meant it, he knew how the rest of them were about their love for animals, and he could already hear the disagreement that him and Patton would get into over whether or not Stella is allowed on the furniture.

Roman led him over to the aisle. “What all should I grab?”

“Metal bowls, treats, a leash and harness, color doesn’t matter. If they have pig ears as a treat grab a few of those too.” He paused to think about where everything would be in Walmart.

“Are the dog beds and kennels in this area?”

“Yeah, do you want me to get the big ones?” Even after he asked it he felt like he asked something stupid.

“Of course Roman, those would work best.” HIs tone was sort of flat, no judgement or confusion, just a simple statement.

Roman grunted as he set down the dog kennel in the cart, settling other stuff on top of it. He had grabbed everything that Logan told him to, except for the pig ears because there weren’t any but he did find a bone instead that looked alright. He had grabbed a red harness and red leash (his favorite color) as well as two metal bowls and some green bags should they be needed. He looked down the aisle but couldn’t see any dog food.

“Uh Logan, what about dog food?”

“Try the next aisle over.”

He went over, dragging the cart and Logan with. As soon as they were over there, he saw that the entire aisle was full of different animal foods.

“What kind do we want for Stella?” There were a lot of options and he felt a little overwhelmed.

“Purina dog chow should work, a rather large bag so that it lasts for a while.” He paused to think about what size. “Maybe like a twenty six pound bag. Let me know if you require assistance.”

“No, I got it.” There was the sound of someone straining to pick something up, and then a thump as he set the bag down in the cart.

“That should be all we need, Patton didn’t send us with a shopping list and I believe that you grabbed everything we need for Stella.”

They went to the front of the store and Logan paid for all of the stuff, helping Roman load it into the trunk. Stella was doing fine, in fact, when they got in the car, she was asleep in the back.

They went home, opening the door to let Stella out to go to the bathroom. As soon as she was done, she trotted to the door, and waited for them to let her in. When they did, they smelled the smell of Patton cooking something,

Virgil got up off the couch as soon as he saw the door open and helped to get all of the bags. AS soon as they were all inside, Virgil set up the dog kennel in their bedroom, setting the dog bed inside of the kennel. He put the bowls in the kitchen and put the bag of food in the pantry; just as Patton finished cooking.

He dished everything up and called them all to the table, kenneling up Stella so she wouldn’t come beg at the table. Dinner was a casual affair, and afterwards, they each went their own separate ways to their bedrooms to spend some time just by themselves doing their own preferred things.

Roman was just lounging around as Patton played with his hair; Logan was listening to an audiobook, with Virgil right next to him listening to music, the only person who was being active was Dallas, who was playing with trucks on the floor. They had moved Stella’s bed out to the floor so that she could be a part of the family happenings.

They just hung out and relaxed for hours, before they all retired at different times. First Logan, who was leading Dallas with him so that he could get some sleep, then Virgil with Stella in tow. Finally, an hour or so later, Roman and Patton went to bed, tucking themselves in around D. Just before falling asleep Roman had one thought; Tomorrow is the beginning of a new chapter.

#love Carries On #ts sanders sides #tslogan #tspatton #tsroman #tsvirgil #tsdeceit #fluff #angst #DLAMP #poly #Multi-chapter #disabilityAU #HOH #ADHD #DID #Autism #Blind #Deaf

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter III

TW:  mentions of dissociating and a car accident

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The next morning, Roman and Virgil were up bright and early in hopes of being able to rearrange all of the furniture before Logan awoke. It was a lot to do, because of Patton’s love for collecting weird pieces, and all of the old furniture from Roman’s parents (who the house had belonged to originally), there was a lot more in the house than there would’ve been otherwise. It was first a task of clearing out all of the furniture they wouldn’t need and moving it to the basement. After the hour of moving stuff down the stairs and arranging it so that Logan would be able to move around down there should the need arise.

The next task was to make sure that all of the furniture that was left was spaced out enough for Logan to move around and not hurt himself while also maintaining the nice aesthetic that Roman cared so much about. In the end, the room looked a little bit open and sort of airy, but Roman liked it. Logan was just exiting his bedroom as Virgil and Roman finished moving the final piece of furniture into place. He heard the sounds of laboring breathing and the moving of furniture and his face split into a hesitant grin.

“Thank you.” He said loudly, so that Roman could hear him, offering up the sign equivalent to Virgil, hoping that he remembered correctly.

“You betcha hun. Virgil says you’re welcome.” Roman huffed out, helping to set down the couch. He sighed with relief as soon as he let it go. “All of the furniture is moved, you want to try walking around so that we know if anything needs to be moved?”

Logan nodded at the suggestion, starting to walk. There were a few adjustments that had to be made, the table in the breakfast nook was too close to the wall, and a few of the side tables were set too far from the couch to be usable. Another issue was with the proximity of the chairs to the couch, but with a little bit of readjustments, everything was perfect.

Logan didn’t expect to be so genuinely happy to be able to move around the house, but he was. It was like they had removed a weight from his shoulders, two of his amazing, doting and loving boyfriends had just spent hours moving furniture just for him. He reached out, placing a hand on what felt like Roman’s shoulder. He turned towards him, and without any hesitation, Logan kissed him on the lips. It was a quick peck really, just a brief few seconds where their lips touched. His hours of tracing his face (and all of his boyfriend’s faces really) had helped him memorize what it looked like, and having it described to him helped him know what colors he should see, forming a perfect picture in his mind. He gave Virgil the same treatment, pecking him on the lips in thanks, a childishly happy smile on his face.

They hung out on the couch for a little while, each of them doing their own thing. Logan was reveling in the feeling of this happiness, while both Roman and Virigl were on their phones. It made them both happy to see Logan so happy, but where Logan found it to be the most extraordinary and loving thing anyone had ever done for him, they saw it as just a nice thing to do for their love. He deserved to be able to move around the house freely and happily.

When Patton woke up, Diego following him, there was a look of confusion and distraughtness on Patton’s face. He looked around the suddenly sparser house, and shot Roman a panicked look. Everything’s different. How am I supposed to find anything now? They got rid of a whole bunch of my things. Do they hate me now? Did I do something wrong? “Ro can I talk to you for a sec.” He didn’t realize he was being loud until he saw Logan flinch.

“Yeah of course.” Roman got up, signing quickly to Virgil, who decided to come along and stepped into the kitchen with Patton. “What’s up cookie?”

“What happened to everything? Why is it all different? I won’t be able to find anything? Where’d all my stuff go? Are you kicking me out? Do you not love me anymore?” his eyes were wide with panic and he looked around for an explanation.

“Of course we still love you, we love you so so so much buttercup.” He reached out and touched him gently on the shoulder. “We wanted Logie to be able to move around everywhere in the house without getting hurt, so we moved some stuff. I promise you we didn’t get rid of everything. We just moved a lot of stuff to the basement. I promise we can go see if you want.”

“Okay.” He was still a little shaky about it, but both Roman’s words and his touch helped to reassure him, plus it was nice to see that Logan wouldn’t get hurt anymore when trying to navigate in his own house.

He followed them both down to the basement, Roman flicking on the light as he descended the stairs. Once down, he could see all of the furniture he was looking for. Patton looked over it all, realizing that a lot of the pieces he really liked must’ve still been upstairs. How thoughtful of them. Even when they were doing something nice for Lolo, they still managed to do something nice for me too. He smiled at them, feeling better about the situation.

They went back upstairs and Patton let out a sigh of relief. “So, besides all the furniture.” He moved to push his curls out of his face, stepping closer so he could talk quieter. “When are we getting the dog for Logan?”

Roman seemed confused, and him and Virgil shared a look before he started to translate what Virgil was signing. “Virge says that we’re going to get one next week. We’re thinking about getting him a shepard or something. Though we’re not sure yet.”

He signed something back to Virgil and there was a long back and forth with no translation for Patton and he was beginning to feel left out. Eventually they stopped signing so aggressively and Roman provided an explanation

“We’re going to go get the dog Tuesday. You, me and Diego can go. Virge is going to drive Logan to a doctor’s appointment. “

“What kind of dog?” Patton was hoping they’d find a german shepard that would work well because if Patton remembered correctly, growing up Logan had had a german shepard and he had been devastated when he died.

“We don’t know yet. We’ll just have to see what we can find.” Virgil signed something to Roman, and he signed back before translating. “Virgil thinks that we should pick up a pound pup and then take it to the service dog training center to learn how to be a seeing eye dog.”

Patton was a bit hesitant, maybe it’s supposed to be a surprise since Logan can’t see it. I guess I’ll have to keep a secret. Then, he smiled as he realized something. “Maybe we’ll have the dog trained and ready to go by Logie’s birthday.” Logan’s birthday was the third of November, meaning the dog would have five months to be fully trained.

“That would be nice, he’d love that for a present.” Roman smiled brightly, like the idea of making one of his loves happy made him feel good.

“So it’s set then, we’ll go and check a few dog shelters for a good dog for Logie.” Patton had a sudden realization. “And it’s gonna cost a lot.” His mind sort of overly focused on a memory he had. “I looked into it once and it can cost close to thirty thousand dollars to train a dog.”

Roman looked concerned. “I think we can figure it out, I mean; I’ve got money saved up.” He closed his eyes as he ran through all the money he should have in his emergency cash fund. “Let’s see, there’s the, ‘in case of emergency money,’ and my parents always put stuff back so there should be some jars of change in the basement.” He tapped his face, trying to think. “Plus the government should pay for some.”

“I sure hope so, cause that could be a lot of money.” Patton, wrung his hands. All of that for a dog to help Logan? He would gladly pay it but it stressed him out a little bit.

“Well, we’ll get to that when we get to that. For now, let’s just make sure we get that dog picked out for him before we do anything.”

They all nodded, before exiting the kitchen and back into the living room. Diego was lounging next to him laying basically in Logan’s lap. Logan was playing with his hair, a look of delight on his face.

“The texture is peculiar.” He murmured, the curls wrapping around his fingers. “It’s sort of thick, but not so thick like Patton’s, and the curls feel like they’re well structured.” He marvelled at them for a moment, a soft smile on your face. “Thank you for letting me touch your hair Diego.”

Diego nodded vaguely, he didn’t seem to be fully there. Like he was sort of floating in a different world. His eyes were unfocused and it was clear that he was in some sort of dissociative state. He murmured something in response, but it sounded like it was in a different language. Spanish maybe, or portugese. The other three sat down on the couch. Virgil closest to Diego, with Patton in the middle and Roman on the end. Logan felt the shift and turned towards them with a delighted smile. “Diego’s hair is so nice, I want to touch all of yours as well.” It was almost like he was asking permission.

“Well you can touch mine.” Offered Roman and Patton at the same time.

Virgil turned to Roman What’s he asking? He signed quickly, trying to figure it out.

He mentioned wanting to touch our hair and feel the texture. He responded.

Oh, tell him he can touch mine as well.

“Virgil says you can touch his hair as well.” He translated.

Logan’s face really lit up at that statement. He couldn’t see them, but knowing that he could touch them to paint a mental picture of them made him feel good. “I’ll definitely be doing that later tonight then.”

They’ve done so much for me, even today. He sighed, leaning back against the couch.

Today was a lazy day for the boys, They hung out on the couch and watched TV almost all day, only getting up a few times for them to eat, and even then it was just simple things, sandwiches or ramen noodles. They watched disney movies, documentaries, reruns of Patton’s favorite TV episodes. It was just a nice relaxing day.

They stayed like that for hours, until the sun started to go down and Roman remembered that it was his night for dinner. He and Patton alternated because they both thoroughly enjoyed cooking. He stood up, wiggling away from Patton. “I got to make dinner.” He stood up, and went into the kitchen.

Pulling together different ingredients wasn’t hard in their house, they had a large garden and there were a lot of things that could be made. He started on some vegetarian enchiladas, one of Virgil’s favorites. He cooked in silence, so focused on the tasks at hand that he didn’t think about anything else. It was just simple orders, his mind would tell him what he needed to do in order to complete the task and he did it.

Soon, dinner was finished and he was ready to serve it. Dinner was a normal affair, of mostly silence, until Diego excused himself to go to bed. They all bid him good night, some kissing him on the cheeks or forehead while others just hugged him and wished him good dreams.

They finished eating, and put their plates in the dishwasher. The other two left to their rooms, but Logan lingered, and wanting to make sure he was okay, so did Patton.

“Patton, can I talk to you?” He set his plate down, leaning against the counter.

“Of course, what’s up Logie?”

“Do you think I’m,” He paused, and took a deep breath. “Helpless? I mean, you help to lead me around, you always seem so worried for me. Do you think I can’t take care of myself?” There was no malice in his tone, just genuine confusion.

“No! Of course I don’t. I think that you need more assistance, just like the rest of us do, but you’re not helpless.”

“You know I used to be a teacher.” It was like he just suddenly changed the channel, Patton couldn’t quite follow it, but he would let him talk. “I used to work with kids like you and Roman and Virgil. I was learning ASL to help them, so that they wouldn’t need an interpreter and I wouldn’t have to slow my role when I was lecturing.”

“What happened to all that?”

“I was leaving the parking lot after school, and someone T-boned me.” His hand reached up and he rubbed his neck, like he could feel something there. “Something happened to my neck and my brain, I just couldn’t see anymore” He sighed. “I used to be so smart and so capable; and now, I’m this.” His faced turned down. “I’m glad I met all of you though.”

“Logan.” He reached out and touched his arm. “You’re not helpless, and you are capable. Just because something is different about you doesn’t mean that you’re helpless.” He stood on his tiptoes to kiss his nose. “I love you.”

“Thank you Pat, I love you too.” He cupped his face for a moment, allowing his fingers to touch the other’s hair. “Now, I think I should retire so that I have adequate sleep for the doctor’s tomorrow.”

Patton nodded, and with that, they both retired to their rooms for the night, thinking of what tomorrow would bring.

#Love Carries On #TsSanders Sides #TsLogan #TsPatton #TsRoman #TsVirgil #TsDeceit #DLAMP #disabilityau #DID #HOH #Blind #Deaf #ADHD #Autism #angst #fluff #poly #multi-chapter

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter IX

Sorry this chapter is so short you guys, I’m working on a longer one! I promise

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After Logan’s birthday, things returned to the almost normal they were all used to, Roman and Virgil going to work, Diego, Patton and Logan staying at home, though now that they had Stella, Logan spent a lot more time outside or away from the house. Sometimes he’d go into town so that she could get some social training. Which left Patton and Diego to their own devices. Most of the day, Diego would sit at the computer in the corner of the living room and work on writing. He was trying to write a novel, though he never discussed the details with the others. Sometimes, Patton would check in on him to find him practicing ASL, his fingers moving in an imitation of the person’s on screen, his brow furrowed in concentration. Patton wanted to join him, but he was afraid that he would upset Diego. 

Patton on the other hand, was doing everything he could to just do stuff. He needed his mind to be constantly busy. He found himself cleaning a lot, or going out and surveying the garden for hours on end. Sometimes, he would count the plants he could see, or watch for animals. He did everything but think about that list that Logan had suggested. He felt like it would be stupid for him to do, or it would bother his other boyfriends. They hadn’t had any food slips, but several close calls with textures at the grocery store had led to near meltdowns in the aisles. He now had a mental list of items to avoid.  Roman had had to lead him through grounding techniques to help him. And even then he had gone home and had an overstimulation break down. 

Currently, he was rearranging the accent pieces on the dining room table for the third time today. He had first gone up into the attic to dig for a proper looking vase, he had grabbed a few of them, balancing them in his arms as he descended. He had thought about grabbing all of them, just to have it laid out for him so that he could see, but he changed his mind as he remembered how many were up there. 

In his arms he had a blue one, a black one, and a yellow one, but he wasn’t sure which one he wanted to put in. He grabbed the yellow one because it matched the kitchen walls and would stand out nicely against the walls of the dining room, the blue one would be a good contrast, and the black one was because halloween would be coming up soon and he wanted to start to transition the decor. 

He wished Virgil was here to help him, because Virgil’s eye for design rivaled his own and he could use that right now. With a frustrated sigh, he dumped the clear marbles he had into the blue vase, sticking the fake flowers he was holding (sunflowers to be precise) in and set it on the table. He didn’t bother putting the other vases back, setting them on the buffet table instead. 

He went into the living room to go talk to Diego. Diego was sitting at the desk, his hands resting on the keys. He wasn’t typing anything, just staring into the screen like he was waiting for the words to appear on their own. Patton tapped him on the shoulder. “Want to go for a walk or something?” 

“I’m working.” He muttered, writing a few words before stopping again.

Patton sighed and walked away. He didn’t know what to do, he was bored, very bored, but it wasn’t like he could do anything. In the back of his mind he could hear Logan’s voice Write a list, so that we know what upsets you. He ignored the voice, and got his phone out instead. 

Idly playing games in the kitchen didn’t distract him long, and after washing the very few plates and cups in the sink, and walking the length of the kitchen at least three times, he finally balled his fists up and did what he was so nervous to do. Walking back over to the sink, he picked up his phone again. Anxiously, he opened up to the dialing pad, typing in a number he hadn’t called in several years. 

His finger hesitated over the call button, but after taking a deep breath, he pushed the button. With his ear to the phone, he listened to it ring for what felt like an eternity. Just as he was giving up hope, a sweet, accented voice answered. 

“Allo?”

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Tag List (?)

@mayflowers07

@librowyrm

#Love Carries On #tslogan #tsroman #tspatton #tsvirgil #tsdeceit #ts Sanders Sides #multi-chapter #poly #fluff #angst #disabilityAU #autism #blind #deaf #HOh #ADHD #DID

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter VI

Virgil woke up, and immediately jumped up; today was the day, Logan’ birthday. five months of hard work, five months of life changing progress and now today was the day that Logan should get to relax. Virgil sat up out of bed and scrambled around until he found his hoodie, a gift from Roman. He pulled it on, his perpetually cold body reassured in the added protection of the jacket. He pushed his hair out of his face before heading out into the living room.

The living room was entirely empty, which was to be expected. His boyfriends always liked to go really big on celebrations, birthdays, holidays, any chance they got to be extra they’d take. Logan had presumably been kicked out of the house until the party and the rest of them were probably in the kitchen preparing something akin to a feast.

Virgil smiled to himself as he walked into the kitchen to find Roman and Patton in matching flowered aprons. Patton was furiously stirring some type of batter, while Roman was building layers of something in a pan. Diego was nowhere to be found. He walked up to Roman and tapped him sharply on the shoulder, he received on finger held up to him, give me a sec.

After a few minutes of working and arranging, Roman turned around. What’s up Virge? He leaned forward, raising his eyebrow in a questioning way.

Where’s D? Virgil responded in likewise, his own question granting an eyebrow raise.

We sent him to the store so that he could get decorations and candles. He shrugged at the end of the statement, his eyebrows relaxing as he switched out of the question asking zone.

By himself? It was less a question and more an anxious and panicked statement.

No! Logan went with, as did Stella. Roman was surprisingly nonchalant, and his eyes were already wandering back to the pan full of food. He just wanted to cook with Patton and not be bothered by all these questions about where and who.

Virgil rolled his eyes before walking away. He couldn’t do anything right now, Logan and Diego were already gone, and he wasn’t a very good cook, or at least not Roman and Patton’s level. A brief thought of him helping Logan and D set up decorations shot through his mind and he nodded to himself in agreement. Seeing as there wasn’t much else to do, he settled himself on the couch and put on a documentary.

As much as he poked fun at Logan for liking documentaries, he liked them a lot as well, it didn’t require him to use his imagination and to understand what type of tone the narrator, or in the case of a lot of movies, character, might be using because they were just relaying factual information. It was comforting to read the subtitles and feel like he understood exactly what was going on.

Today’s documentary was on World War One, it seemed to be centered around one specific battle, but Virgil was just sort of watching the pictures on screen and halfway reading the words. It was comforting, to hang out and not have to do anything just yet. The black and white photography was just boring enough for his brain to focus on other things. He found himself pondering who’s car the boys had taken, what Roman was making, what Patton was making, how Stella was doing. His mind just drifted around, and it was comforting to drift, nothing to focus on, just allowing his mind to think and know things.

He spent what felt like hours doing that, but it was barely half an hour before the door opened and Logan and Diego came in. He didn’t hear the door of course, but he did feel the tap on the shoulder from Logan and he turned around to see them both standing there, bags in their hands.

“Want to help decorate?” Diego spoke slowly, allowing Virgil to read his lips.

Yes. He signed it, a quick knocking movement, before getting up off of the couch to help them put things away.

They set the bags on the table, and inside Virgil found an assortment of party goods, hats, banners and streamers, candles, a few bags for gift wrapping (which Virgil needed because he’d been hiding Logan’s present for months and now he needed a bag to put it in). He was impressed that they had managed to remember all of this, of course since Logan went along, it shouldn’t have surprised him at all.

He shot Diego a quick few signs, asking him if there was a plan. And when Diego explained to him that there wasn’t a plan, he was almost delighted. Virgil had been told almost all of his life that he had an eye for design, and even if that was something of a hidden talent, he thoroughly enjoyed designing things. He grabbed the streamers, (blue and silver) and started to layout in his head where he wanted everything to go. He dug around in the bag until he found a roll of tape. He grabbed a chair from the table and climbed up on it.

Then he paused, suddenly remembering the banner that said ‘Happy Birthday’ on it. He snapped to get Diego’s attention, pointing at the banner on the table, and wordlessly, he handed it to him. Virgil took a step back and looked at the arch, careful not to fall off of the chair, trying to figure out where the banner would have to go to be centered. He nodded his head unconsciously before turning back and snapping again. Diego looked up, and he signed for him to get Logan’s attention.

Logan was the tallest of his boyfriends, and he needed him to hold the banner while he ripped the tape to hold it in place. After Diego explained to him what Virgil needed, Logan came over to stand by him. Virgil guided his hand to where he needed it to be, before letting go so that he could tear the tape. He tore several smaller pieces, so that he could stabilize it, before pulling a long piece to put over the rest. Then, he pulled on the shoulder of Logan’s button up, trying to get him to move around to the other side. After a few seconds of being yanked on, he understood what he wanted, and after accidentally running into the chair that Virgil was standing on, he eventually made his way over to the other side. Once again, Virgil guided his hand into position before taping the other side of the banner in place.

As soon as he was done, he patted Logan on the head in thanks, and grabbed the roll of streamers off of the table. The blue roll was the one he had originally had in his hand, and now that the banner was up, he could see it that much clearer. He ripped off a piece of tape, and stuck just a little bit of it to the wall where he wanted the streamer to be. Then, he placed the streamer, before smoothing the tape over it.

Virgil turned around where he was, reaching out to grab the scissors off of the table as well. He cut the streamer and then stuck them into his pocket so that he’d have them on hand. He stuck the other end of the streamer centered in the middle of the banner. Then, he put the blue streamers in his other pocket to replicate the design with the silver streamers.

It didn’t take long for him to have every archway leading into the dining room decorated with streamers. Some of them were branched across the archway, while others hung down in colorful representations of celebration. He got down off of the chair, and turned it back to face the table, as he finished the archway leading into the kitchen. Then, he pushed it back, before turning away so that he could set all of the things out of his pocket on the buffet table in the corner.

He smiled, satisfied with himself, before going back over to the table and putting on one of the party hats. There were several of them, in a variety of colors, and he was glad to see a dark blue one, which was close enough to his favorite color, purple. He settled it on his head, wincing slightly when the elastic band snapped his chin. He took the empty bags off of the table, and put them in the bag bag.

Diego snuck up behind him, and grabbed (not surprisingly) the yellow party hat. Then, he tapped Virgil on the shoulder.

It looks so cool in here! He smiled brightly, his eyes wide and almost amazed looking.

Thank you. He smiled just as brightly, before sitting down at the table to rest. Are Roman and Patton almost done? It was more of a curious question than a pointed one, and he tried hard to convey that by keeping his expression more surprised like rather than questioning.

Patton is waiting for the cake to cool so that he can put the icing on it.

Nice, what flavor? He knew that Logan didn’t like overly sweet flavors.

Marbled perhaps? I didn’t get a good look at it. He shrugged at the end of the statement, sitting down next to Virgil.

Eventually they were joined by Logan, who after having a conversation that Virgil couldn’t quite keep up with, was handed the silver party hat. He settled it on his own head, before leaning back in his chair and presumably turning his attention to Stella on the floor.

Meanwhile, Patton was adding the finishing touches to Logan’s cake. He had made a lemon cake, allowing for the frosting to be more icing like than anything, and it was decorated with candied lemon slices and pretty yellow flowers. He had written ‘Happy Birthday Logan’ in flowing Silver writing to finish it off. It was one of the only times his handwriting would ever look good.

Roman on the other hand, was just putting the finishing touches on his vegetarian lasagna. He sprinkled the cheese on top of it, before popping it back in the oven. He was very proud of this recipe, a mixture of mushrooms and black beans to create something akin to a meat texture (despite his other boyfriends’ embrace of the vegetarian life, he still indulged in meat every so often). As the cheese was melting, he stirred a little bit of ranch into the mashed potatoes, adding a little more creaminess to the dish. He also reached out to stir the pot of corn so that it wouldn’t burn.

Soon, the cheese had melted, and with a little bit of help from Diego, they carried all of the food out to the table. The festivities were in full swing, they all talked and laughed over dinner; they told stories about Logan, poking fun at him, reminding them all of his greatest days. It was exactly what a great birthday should be.

While they were chatting, Roman had dished up dinner, and now that it was on everyone’s plate, they all quieted down so they could eat. Patton took a bite of the lasagna and immediately his stomach turned, it was slimy, some of the filling was, the texture of what he could only guess was beans and maybe even mushrooms. His heart lurched, he had to forcibly grab the edge of the table to actually swallow down the bite had taken. He caught Virgil’s eye with a pleading look.

Virgil watched as Patton set his fork down and looked down at the ground, he had grabbed the table very tightly, before shooting him a pleading look. Virgil knocked on the table to get Roman’s attention. Ask Pat what’s wrong. His look was just as pleading.

“Pat, are you okay?” He turned to him, to see him hunched slightly over his plate, his knuckles white as he gripped the table.

“I’m fine.” He choked on his words, his gag reflex involuntarily reacting to what he had eaten. His mind was racing with the feeling the texture left behind, his mind blooming with all of the things the texture reminded him of, mud and snails and raw meat.

“Are you sure? You can tell me if something is wrong Patton.” Roman kept his voice as quiet as he could, maybe all the noise had upset him, or something had been said that startled him.

He started to cry as his mind almost hyper fixated on the taste in his mouth and the texture it represented and all the things that texture represented, his mind ran circles around it as tears streamed down his face. Not quiet, unfocused crying, but audible sobs and whimpers.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, I’m fine.” He murmured over and over again, pushing the plate away from him in an actual show of what was wrong.

Roman felt a flame of something like anger, and he didn’t know why, but he was mad at Patton. He had worked so hard, had done everything he was supposed to, didn’t use meat because Virgil was vegetarian, didn’t make anything overly sweet because Logan didn’t like sweet, didn’t make any of the dishes that Diego had specified so he wouldn’t cause a switch in him, he had done everything and now this.

“Well if you don’t like it Patton you can just not eat it.” Something that could be said with a warm and caring tone, something that should be said with a warm and caring tone, was full of malice and bitterness. “I worked hard to make something good and if you don’t like it I’m sorry.” He crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing in anger as he sat back down. Stupid Patton, why can’t you just like it, there’s nothing wrong with my cooking, you’re overreacting. It wasn’t that bad I tried it too, no one else seems bothered by it.

It reminded Patton of when his mother would get mad at him and send him to his room. And in his mind's eye, it was one and the same, Roman was his mother, hissing cruelly at him in french and sending him to his room for causing a problem at the dinner table. Despite the fact that Roman hadn't said it, he could still hear 'go away, go to your room.' in his voice. He got up, and fled from the table, moving as quick as he could without running, tears still streaming from his eyes

#love carries on #tsvirgil #tsroman #tspatton #tslogan #ts sanders sides #tsdeceit #dlamp #disabilityau #DID #HOH #ADHD #autism #blind #deaf #multi-chapter #poly

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter VIII

A/N: Sorry ya’ll but chapters might become a little spare, my mental health is taking a dive right now, (I’m posting this at about eight a.m. and I haven’t slept yet) I will try to keep writing though!

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Logan, Decan, and Patton went back into the dining room, while Virgil slipped back into their room so that he could grab the present for Logan. He knew that the other three had already wrapped and put their gifts in the dining room, but Virgil’s had arrived later than expected and he hadn’t got to put it in a bag at the time. He packaged it quickly, half jogging to catch up with them in the dining room. They were all sitting at the table, except for Roman. Virgil sat down his gift. 

Do you know where Roman went? He signed to Decan, his eyebrows going down to express his question. 

When we came out, he went into the kitchen. He gestured with his head, but when Virgil went to walk in that direction he caught his arm quickly. When Virgil turned back towards him he signed, Try to be gentle with him, you know how sensitive he is. 

I will, I promise. He patted him on the arm, before turning away and heading into the kitchen. 

Roman was sitting on the counter, twisting his fingers with a nervous movement. His hair was ruffled out of his usual perfect swoop, his eyes downcast. After all three of his boyfriends had left, only after looking at me like I killed their brother of course, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d done something wrong, with the reappearance of Patton and the quick look from Decan, he had left the room, trying not to cry. 

He heard Virgil come in, his head shooting up. Are they mad at me? 

A little bit. You made Patton cry. 

I didn’t mean to. If he had just liked dinner it would’ve been fine. 

It was a textural thing. He didn’t like the beans. 

There was a pause in the conversation, Roman stared at Virgil in open mouth shock, he hadn’t thought that maybe Patton didn’t like the texture, he assumed that he hated his cooking, and to some extent, hated him. “Oh.” He said out loud. 

He hoped down off the counter,  readjusting the collar of his shirt with a careful hand. What should I do? They’re mad at me, and I hurt Patton. He probably hates me. He signed to Virgil, the expression of sadness and fear very real. I’m so stupid. He thinks to himself as fidgets with his clothing and his hair. 

Maybe try apologizing? And making sure he’s okay? That might be a good start. Virgil tried to express calmness with his facial expressions, so that Roman wouldn’t think that he was mad at him. 

Okay. He nodded his head, before reaching out to grab Virgil’s wrist and pull him back into the dining room where everyone else was. 

“I’m sorry you guys, especially Patton.” he sighed as he exclaimed the words, sitting down in a chair very quickly and letting go of Virgil as he did so. “I just thought that Patton hated my cooking and he was making a big scene because I did something wrong. And you know how I am about my cooking and since Patton didn’t tell me that, I didn’t think about that. And I’m sorry.” He said it all very quickly, pushing his hair back in frustration, though who he was frustrated with was unclear, even to himself. 

“It’s okay Roman.” Patton responded immediately, reaching out to pat his hand. He missed his birthday sweater, the soft material and oversized sleeves were good in a situation like this. 

“Your apology is accepted.” Logan, couldn’t see the frustration on Roman’s face but he frowned at the response from Roman. 

“Yes, thank you for apologizing, love.” Decan reached out to touch Patton’s leg in sympathy. 

Patton looked around to confirm that everyone had forgiven Roman. “Okay, let’s get back into it then.” he turned to face Virgil. “Would you like to cut the cake? Then we can get started on the presents at the same time.” 

Virgil nodded, and picked up the knife off of the table next to the pan. He cut the cake into fair sized squares, placing them on plates and setting them near everyone’s place. As he did so. Roman, Patton and Decan retrieved their gifts from beside the doorway. 

It didn’t take them long to each finish a slice of cake, and as soon as they did, Logan opened his presents. He picked up Roman’s first. 

“Who is this from?”

“Me.” Roman was practically bouncing in excitement. 

Logan untied the ribbon from around the box, struggling with the paper and the lid, but pulling it open nonetheless. He picked up the thing inside. It felt like a sweater, he ran his hands over it, feeling a soft and plushy material. 

“I crocheted it for you, it isn’t much but - -”

“Describe it to me.”  

He paused, trying to think of what to say, it was a perplexing request to him. “Okay, it’s, it’s dark blue, like the color of your eyes mixed with black.” Logan hadn’t heard a description like that before, or even really thought about the color of his eyes. He hadn’t seen them in years. “The yarn is pretty thick, there’s a stripe of silver around the neckline and along the hemline. I gave it a v-neck so that you could wear it over your button-ups and tie.”

Logan smiled at him, it was simple, so simple really, just a sweater in a style he liked, but the fact that Roman had made it, had spent more than likely months working on it, it almost brought a tear to his eye. “Thank you, thank you Roman. This is very thoughtful, I cannot imagine how much time it must’ve taken.” 

“You’re welcome.” He quipped out, smiling brightly, it felt nice to be appreciated. 

Next he picked up Patton’s present, it was a bag and after reaching in to take out some paper, he felt a lot of silky and smooth fabric. He was confused. 

“What’s this?” He pulled it out of the bag, before reaching his hand in to grab a few more. After pulling out two of them, he understood. “Ties? Who got these.” There was a smile on his face. 

“I did.” Patton was hesitant. “Most of them are solid colors, kind of like the ones you already have but in different colors, but a few of them have fun prints on them.” He swallowed, pushing up his glasses. “One of them has a dog on it, and paw prints.” 

“That’s very cute.” He reached out to offer Patton an affectionate shoulder pat. 

Next he grabbed Decan’s gift, it was rather heavy, and he struggled for a moment to hold it without dropping it. 

“Careful, it’s fragile,” he heard murmured to him, and he quickly put away the ties on his lap and set the bag next to him so that he could lift the box with both hands. 

He opened it up, and wrangled out what felt like a framed photo, it was rather large, and the frame felt wooden. 

Without being asked, Decan launched into an explanation. “The frame I painted white, obviously there’s glass over the picture. It’s the picture we took the day we all moved in, where we’re standing outside the ranch. The sun was very nice, it was right before Roman’s brother left for Spain, he took our picture for us.” 

Logan remembered that day, it was maybe the best day of his life, getting to meet each of his wonderful boyfriends in real life. It was the first time he had been able to really touch each of them, running his hands over their faces to get acquainted with how they look. To know who these men he was devoting his life to really was. The smile showed on his face, he ran his hands over the glass slowly, like he could feel that day in his hands. 

“Thank you, Decan. This is a very thoughtful - -” he felt choked up with tears. “I don’t know,” He swallowed. “Thank you, I love it very much.” he put it back in the box carefully, picking up the final gift from the floor. 

“I presume this is from Virgil.” He opened the bag, and pulled out what was inside. It felt like a CD. “What’s this?” 

“He says it’s an ebook. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie. He says that he’s sorry it isn’t quite as nice as the other gifts, but he remembered you expressing interest in this book when you went shopping last time.” 

“There’s no need to be sorry, this is a great gift, I’m going to enjoy it immensely, I’ve heard good things about this book.” He spoke slowly so that Virgil could read his lips 

“He says he’s glad that you like it.” 

“Thank you, to all of you, this has been an amazing birthday,” then, he did something a little uncharacteristic, stumbling slightly, Logan went around the table and kissed each of his boyfriends on the cheek. “Thank you so much for making this birthday so amazing.” He sat back down in his chair, thankful to be able to move around the table without any issue.

 “We love you Logan.” they all chimed out, smiling at him, even if they couldn’t see it.

“Perhaps, if you would all like,” he paused, allowing them to chime in and tell him no. “We could watch a movie or something. You can pick of course.” 

Patton was the first to agree, despite the fact that he just wanted to go to bed. The others agreed, and after a few minutes of back and forth, they finally agreed on a documentary about Disney. As soon as the movie started, he realized it was too loud, burrowing his head under the blanket and pressing himself as close to Roman as he could, Patton tried to block out the sound, falling asleep minutes into the beginning of the movie.

Tag list (?)

@mayflowers07

@librowyrm

#love Carries On #tsLogan #TsPatton #TsRoman #TsVirgil #TsDeceit #TsSanders Sides #dlamp #poly #multi-chapter #disabilityau #autism #ADHD #DID #HOH #blind #deaf #fluff #angst

[love-carries-on]

Love Carries On: Chapter XIV

TW: None I think (?)

Sorry for the lack of chapters recently, my mother decided that she was the most important person in the world again and pulled a whole bunch of stuff that’s been really messing with my head, I promise that there should be way more chapters coming soon! Anyway

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Roman woke in the morning with an arm wrapped tightly around Patton. He sat up and fixed his hair, mulling over the events of last night. 

As soon as Virgil was gone, Roman went out into the living room to pace, he was nervous, because soon they’d be home and maybe they’d be mad at him and Virgil hadn’t told him what he was going to do. Roman couldn’t think of anything else to do but pace. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. The wall near the kitchen then the door. The wall near the kitchen then the door. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Hands to his pocket. Hands out of his pocket. Adjust his collar. Back to his pockets. Back and forth. Back and forth. Stop to push his hair away. Stop to readjust it again. He was just beginning to feel his legs tire when the door opened. 

He was turning to walk towards the door as it opened, and as it was pushed very strongly towards the wall he just had time to think thank god before he had an armful of sobbing Patton. 

“I’m sorry.” He muttered over and over into Roman’s ear, holding him tightly, as he cried. “I shouldn’t have left you, I’m sorry, are you okay? I thought you were going to do something stupid, I’m sorry.” 

He held him tightly, his eyes meeting Virgil, who was standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. He shot him a panicked look. 

Apologize to him. Properly. He signed slowly, with the lazy intent of someone who was stating the obvious. 

After a few false starts and some half decent stutters, Roman cleared his throat and said. “I apologize Patton, for causing you to worry and for blowing up on you, it wasn’t right.” He wanted to add but you shouldn’t have lied to me but one look from Virgil was enough to quell that thought. 

“It’s alright Ro, really, it wasn’t your fault.” Patton held his face in his hands, and then after that they had all cleaned up and went to bed. 

Now, after getting dressed, Roman met Virgil at the dining room table. 

What are we doing today? 

Apologizing. I’m going to teach you that it’s okay to make mistakes by making you say sorry to everyone in the household for something, something big. 

Do I have to? Roman expressed his distress with a turning down of the corners of his lips and a narrowing of his eyes. 

Yes. Today is easy mode. Virgil serious about his plans, he had laid out  a piece of paper and a pen. You’ll be apologizing to Patton. 

How is he easy mode? 

Because he’ll forgive you regardless. He seemed dead set on making Roman write out his feelings and apologize, no matter how hard he thought it was. 

With a sigh, Roman sat down. He stared at the piece of paper, like it was taunting him, a frown on his face as he tried to focus. What do I apologize for? 

Just something. He shrugged at him, a sort of you can do it. Expression on his face. 

But for what? He was stressed about it, because what if he couldn’t apologize for anything because he was too stupid to do it. 

Maybe for the thing at Logan’s birthday? It was like he had been dwelling on this for months. 

Roman stopped to think about it, ready to question Virgil's thought process, but with a sudden jolt he realized he hadn't said sorry. 

Okay, I think I can do that. He signed hesitantly. 

He stared at the paper again, before picking up the pen and beginning to write. 

I don't see why I have to write this, it's so stupid Patton, I'm sorry I guess, whatever this is stupid  I apologize for what happened at Logan's birthday. Which was so long ago by the way I know you got upset for no reason at all because you overreacted and I know that everyone thinks I overreacted with what I said but I think that I I shouldn't have said what I did. Though maybe you should've just told me that you didn't like those things and it wouldn't have been a problem I had incorrectly assumed that you were trying to cause a scene for attention. I still think you are I don't know why I assumed this. Because this is what I would've done I had worked so hard on making sure that everything I had done would be perfect and the food upsetting you felt like a personal attack. It still does. Regardless, my actions were uncalled for. I'm sorry. 

He sighed as he finished, staring at the paper; the crossed out words full of bitterness and passive aggressive anger. The weirdly formal writing that he had done to correct it. He pushed his hair out of the way before turning back to Virgil. 

Do I have to read it to him or give it to him? He was hoping he'd just have to give it to him to read, because reading what he'd written would be salt in the wound of his already shredded pride. 

Read it. That's an important part. His signs were calm and controlled, clearly meant to remind Roman that he needed to do the right thing. 

Fine. His sign was snappish, perhaps a little angry. He folded up the paper and stuck it in his pocket. 

He stood up, pushing his hair around as he began to walk towards the living room in search of Patton. Patton was at the computer, squinting I'm concentration at the mahjong game in front of him. 

Roman cleared his throat. "Hey Patton?" 

Patton jumped a little, before pausing his game and turning towards Roman. "Can I help you Ro?" 

He shot Virgil a pleading glance, not wanting to read what was on the paper, but with a stern glance, he began to speak. 

"Pat, I'm sorry, err, I mean, I apologize. For Logan's birthday, I uhm, I shouldn't have." He paused and sighed, clearing his throat before he continued to read. "I shouldn't have yelled at you and made you cry. I know now, that, uh, that what I said was wrong. I had assumed some not so nice things about you, and that was wrong of me. I'm sorry." He sighed again, pushing his hair back as he tried not to sound too miserable. 

Patton stood immediately, throwing his arms around Roman in a tight hug. “Thank you Ro! That means a lot to me. Of course I forgive you.” He pecked him on the cheek as he pulled away, smiling at the pair of them softly. 

He sighed in relief this time, pulling away from Patton’s hug after a few moments. “Really? I’m glad.” He could get used to this feeling of fulfillment.

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Taglist (?)

@mayflowers07 @librowyrm @sunflower-of-steel

#Love Carries On #Sanders Sides #Thomas Sanders #TsRoman #TsVirgil #TsPatton #TsLogan #TsDeceit #TsJanus #Angst #fluff #multi-chapter #poly #dlamp #disabilityAU #ADHD #DID #HOH #blind #deaf #Autism

[love-carries-on]

Chapter XV

TW: brief mentions of bugs

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The next day went on as normal, no meeting in the dining room with Virgil, no forcing him to write an apology, no frustration or pain. He floated through the day without a thought of what he had said to Patton or what he might say to anyone else. He thought maybe his trial was over but the next morning bright and early, Virgil woke him up and pulled him into the dining room. 

What now? 

Today, you apologize to Diego. His movements were as controlled as ever, even as he gestured towards the pen and paper on the table 

I thought I was done!

No, Patton was just easy mode, so that you could get the hang of it. 

What should I apologize for? There was an edge of agitation, or perhaps desperation to his signs. 

You decide, I’m sure you can figure something out. 

Roman let out a loud pained groan that was mostly show before flopping down at the table. He picked up the pen and began to chew on the end of it as he tried to think of what to write. 

I apologize Diego, because Virgil is making me and this is all I could think of because you seemed really upset about it for making fun of you for having an alter who was a little actually you have a lot of them and calling you a baby even when he wasn’t fronting anymore. I still kinda think you’re a big baby, especially considering how many alters you have that are children, it’s strange isn’t it. I said some things that really hurt you because you don’t like to identify with them. I still don’t think it’s that big of a deal but whatever It wasn’t nice of me and I hope you can forgive me. 

As soon as he was done, he reread his writing, making sure that he liked what it said. There were a few parts he had crossed out as soon as he wrote them, knowing that Virgil probably wouldn’t consider them part of a proper apology. 

So, I guess we’ll have to wait until Diego is awake to give him the apology. He signed very quickly, already fidgety with how long he’d been sitting there. He played with his hair a little, touching it quickly before pulling away.

He stood up, going over the fridge to look for something to eat. Heating up some rice for him and Virgil while pulling some vegan sausage out of the freezer and putting it on the griddle. He knew that eventually it will wake most of the members of the house to the smell of cooking. 

Twenty minutes in, after the rice had slightly cooled, the sausages were finished. He set the food down onto the table, looking down the hallway to see Diego, Logan and Patton hanging out vaguely in the hallway and the living room. 

“Breakfast.” He called to them, settling himself in his usual seat at the table.

The other three entered the room, getting plates and forks quickly and setting them in everyone’s normal places. Breakfast was served up and they ate in silence. Patton had opted out of  the rice, informing them that he hadn’t added rice to the list but the grains reminded him of little bugs and he didn’t like them. He did have a few pieces of sausage but he made pancakes instead. 

As soon as they were done, and with a little urging from Virgil, he approached Diego to talk to him. 

“Hey D, uhm, I want to talk to you for a bit, can you step into the dining room with me?” 

“Sure Ro.” He followed him, confusion clear on his face as he stuck his hands in his pockets. 

As soon as they were out of earshot of the other two, and with an encouraging nod from Virgil he read what he had written, leaving out some of the parts he had scratched out. 

“I’m sorry Diego, for making fun of you when a little alter is fronting. I know you don’t like to be referred to as a baby, or treated like a child, especially when you’re fronting because it makes you uncomfortable. And I made fun of you anyway. It was very cruel of me, and I hope you can forgive me.” He crossed his arms in front of him comfortably, hoping he’d said the right thing. 

“Well thank you Roman, that means a lot to me. I don’t know if I can forgive you just yet, but I appreciate your words.” 

Instantly, he reacted to his words. “But I- -” a look from Virgil stopped him in his tracks. “That’s understandable, I hope one day we can talk more about it.” It was a tactic Roman had seen Virgil use on Diego when they had gotten into disagreements. 

“I hope we can too.” There was a warm and encouraging smile on his face, like he truly believed that Roman was on the right path. It was truly heartening for him to see, to feel that appreciated. He smiled back. 

You did very well Roman. Virgil signed at him, a smile on his face and his eyebrows slightly raised to express his joy. 

Thank you. He was practically bouncing in place at the compliment. Who is next on the list? 

Either Logan or a person of your choice. His response took Roman by surprise, but Virgil didn’t want to force him to apologize to him, this was a learning exercise. 

 I think I want to apologize to my brother soon. It’d be nice to call him. As he signed, his hands dropped slightly and his expression became thoughtful. 

There was a wistfulness to his gaze, like he missed his brother somewhat. His eyes became clouded as he started to think about all the things that came along with his brother, The general frustration of having a twin that’s nothing like you, every good time they had shared, at band practice and karaoke night, and that feeling that always burned at the back of his throat. Before, he had labeled it as fury, or maybe even the beginnings of hate, but now that he could genuinely taste it, could feel it bubbling against his tongue with the same burning hot energy as every apology he’d uttered, he could tell that it tasted like shame and maybe even regret.

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Taglist(?)

@mayflowers07 @librowyrm @sunflower-of-steel

Also sorry for such short chapters, the next one is gonna be kind of important but most of Roman’s are gonna be somewhat short. 

#Love Carries On #Thomas Sanders #Sanders Sides #TsLogan #TsPatton #TsRoman #TsVirgil #TsDeceit #TsJanus #DLAMP #multichapter #poly #disabilityau #fluff #angst #adhd #autism #DID #HOH #Blind #Deaf