#disabled taako rights

[noodyl-blasstal]

Detective Delivery

Joyus Candlenights @v-for-venusaur I hope you have a wonderful Candlenights and enjoy! 

And also thank you very much to @thecandlenightszone for organising the exchange!

Read Detective Delivery on A03 or below (but fair warning, it's over 7,000 words)

________

There isn’t much time. Angus knows he has to be quick, they always notice when he’s not where he’s supposed to be. He’d think it was because they were onto him, but they’re always so concerned - as if he’s lost, or hurt, or upset and not rifling through their stuff. He didn’t imagine that smugglers would worry so much about his welfare, or play chess with him, or teach him how to bake cookies, but that was probably all part of their thing. One of the hardest lessons he had learned was that bad people didn’t always seem like bad people. The Starblaster crew were bad, they were smugglers, they were stealing. They were bad people doing a good job of hiding it.

Angus finds the crates easily. The illusion cube isn’t subtle - the dimensions of the room are all wrong. He disables the alarm quickly, it’s barely disguised in the loose panel on the wall, finger marks showing exactly where to push. There aren't any other security measures as far as he can see, so Angus walks confidently through the wall and immediately sees the crates he has been looking for. Now he just needs to confirm the cargo is what he thinks it is. The door to the hold hasn’t opened yet, he should have time.

The crates are squat and rectangular, heavily riveted with clawed clamps holding them closed along the edges. Circling the central one, the glow of a keypad catches his eye. Angus examines it briefly, it’s too obvious. There’s no way they would illuminate this, everything about this box is designed to stop it being opened. He works it out just as the door to the hold slides open.

“Angles?” It’s Mr Taako’s voice. Oh no. He doesn’t want to be in trouble.

“Ango?” And Dr Lup too. Probably the worst people to find him here, they sometimes looked at him sideways if he said something which might contradict his story. Not that he did that often. Not that they noticed enough to make him try to jump ship, but they weren’t easy like Ms Lucretia, or Dr Barry.

Angus ducks down behind the crate, they have no reason to think he’s in here. How would he have even made it into the hold? There was a code! How would he have the code? He’s just a little boy.

“He’s not here, Ko. Maybe he’s in the kitchen? You have cooking lessons today, right?” Lup says. Angus cringes, investigating first was a mistake. Maybe he could still make it in time to learn how to make ‘the most baller pancakes you’ll ever eat’ once he cracks the case? Just because they were criminals doesn’t mean he can’t learn some valuable skills. No one has ever had time to teach him to cook before; he has to get the most out of it before Taako goes to jail.

Angus breathes a sigh of relief as he hears the door slide open again and the twins’ footsteps retreat. Time to get his evidence. He peers at the glowing pad again, and, careful to avoid pressing it, twists the entire thing to the left - a small groove in the metal allows the shape to turn slightly. As he does it, he hears movement from the other side of the crate.

“Lost again, Agnes?” Taako’s lilting voice is casual as ever, but Angus hears his hip holster release. It’s probably time to run, but this is the best lead Angus has. It took nearly a year to find the ship, he isn’t going to give up now. He has a blaster for emergencies, and this definitely counts as one. Angus grabs it and reaches for the pad to spin it further, the box opening will tell Taako exactly where he is, but also hopefully surprise him enough to allow Angus to take the upper hand.

The alarm was a surprise. The crate definitely opens, Angus was correct, but he should have considered that there might be other safety features. Something to add to the post-investigation review. His gasp of surprise gives Taako his exact location, and Angus finds himself hoisted into the air by the front of his shirt. He hopes Taako hasn’t creased it too badly, Angus doesn’t have many clothes and it’s important to look presentable when he’s working.

“What did you do, and how do I make it not be doing that any more?” Shouts Taako over the screeching of the alarm.

Angus stays silent. He’s read books about resistance to interrogation, he’s even practiced with his blanket over his head and staying up for an extra day here and there (sure, when he was caught up in investigations, but it still counts).

“Angus? What are you doing in here?” Lup skids through the illusory wall.

“He’s stealing from us, Goofus. What does it look like?” Taako rolls his eyes at Lup, then turns back to Angus.

“How do we make it stop, Angles?”

Agnus thinks about the case very hard. If you have something to focus on it’s harder for someone to manipulate your thinking and convince you to share information with them.

“He really is your protégé.” Lup laughs.

“Good work on getting past the wall, Ango.”

“Don’t praise him!” Taako hisses.

“He’s only a baby and he figured it out, it’s important to acknowledge good work.” Lup replies, side eyeing Taako and making a face at Angus.

“I’m not a baby!” Angus protests. They kept saying it, but he was 10, nearly 11. He ran his own business! He wasn’t a baby, he was practically an adult. Wait… was this psychological torture? He wasn’t supposed to let it get under his skin… aw beans!

“Oh look, he found his voice! It was lost, but magically recovered to refuse to acknowledge the fact he’s a tiny baby who has no business being here.” Taako sets him down on top of the crate.

“Make it stop, Ango.” He snaps.

“You know, we were stealing stuff when we were his age, well, 70, but if you do the conversion to human years, it shakes out about the same.” Lup leans her elbow on Taako’s shoulder and looks to Angus.

“What’s in it anyway Ango? Contract says we can’t look and Dav makes us promise not to, but if you’ve already cracked it then it’s nothing to do with me. Be a shame to waste it.” She peers towards the crate. Angus almost believes her, almost, but of course they know what’s in the crates. They know exactly what they’re doing, who they’re stealing from, and who they’re stealing for. He jams his mouth shut again and tries to make it as obvious as possible that he won’t be helping them, without actually saying anything. He’s not going to make the same mistake twice.

“Stop encouraging him, Lup!” Taako says, nudging her with his elbow.

“It’s good to have an inquiring mind.” Lup says, and elbows him back. Angus debates whether this will devolve into another fight. He kind of hopes so, it’ll give him enough time to crack the lid, record the evidence, and run. He scoped out the small research ship on his first day aboard, and then Dr Barry gave him an extensive tour because he was always excited to show off his lab and the equipment they had. It was almost enough to convince Angus he wasn’t a hardened criminal, but he wasn’t going to be fooled again. It had taken him a long time to rebuild his stock of credits, even longer to find another hat he liked as much as the one they took.

The alarm is still blaring, Angus wants to try and stop it. The noise is overwhelming, but he doesn’t want to take his eyes off the twins. Taako is apparently stronger than he looks and Angus doesn’t want to get grabbed again. The decision is taken from him when a second alarm joins the crate’s wailing, followed by a jarring scraping noise.

“What the…” Is all Lup manages, before the hull doors buckle.

“Angus?” Taako asks.

Angus isn’t sure why Taako thinks this is anything to do with him. As if he has the ability to summon another ship. If he could do that he wouldn’t need transport, would he? As far as they know, that’s why he’s here. He’s obviously going to contact the militia, absolutely and definitely, but not yet. He still has to finish his science lessons with Barry, and Lucretia has really helped him with his drawing but he can still improve. Anyway, he can’t go until Merle shows him the hydroponic tanks properly - Angus still doesn’t know the names of all the fish.

“Attention Starblaster. Prepare to be boarded. A security alarm has notified us of a contractual breech. An investigation will begin immediately.” The tinny announcement pipes from the ship’s speaker system, barely audible over the various alarms.

“Angus, fix it!” Lup hisses. She’s serious for the first time, face paling visibly.

Taako looks scared too. Maybe Angus went too far? He didn’t mean to call the militia down on them… yet. He was going to do that, in the future, probably, not right now.

“I don’t know how.” He breaks his silence. It seems worth it for this. Angus feels like crying. He doesn’t want to cause problems, he wants to solve them, and he’s so close, so so close. Why didn’t he consider internal security? It was a careless error. This might be just as bad for him as it was for them. If the militia ask who he is… if the crew tell them what Angus said… Oh no. He turns the pad back to the starting position.

“Maybe this will do it.” He says as nothing happens.

“Angus. Fix it.” Taako looks furious.

Angus wants to. He wants to so hard, and maybe if he just closes his eyes, summons up all of his resolve and hopes really hard he can do it. He wishes and wishes and the alarm screams and screams and he has to admit it was a bit of a long shot.

“I can’t. I’m sorry, Sir. I want to, I do.”

Taako’s face softens slightly.

“We’ll figure it out, Pumpkin.” He says, moving to crouch next to Angus as the hull screams more and the doors shudder.

Angus felt better momentarily, then realises what Taako is doing, he won’t be lulled into a false sense of security again.

“We wouldn’t need to figure it out if you weren’t all criminals!” Angus doesn’t mean it to sound so aggressive, it’s a statement of fact after all, but his voice is full of the acid he feels when he thinks about how many children the money would help. There are alarms and noise and everything is horrible and it’s all because of their choices.

“Criminals? Oh, so that’s what you think of ol’ Taako and Lup? We’re good enough to teach you how to cook and make fires and do handstands, but you’re just judging us? If it weren’t for us being ‘criminals’ you wouldn’t be getting home to your Grandfather for Candlenights, would you? Why exactly would the Ambassador to the Astral Empire be using the Starblaster to take his precious Grandson home if we were criminals?” Taako asks, looking offended. Angus almost feels bad… almost. He had to lie to them, otherwise they wouldn’t have taken him. It was their own fault that they didn’t look into the letter any further. How often did someone show up with a letter and a stick of credits to ask them to do a job anyway? Surely it should have rang some kind of alarm bell. And the stuff they taught him to do? They chose that. It wasn’t Angus’ fault that they wanted to show him, he was always happy to learn. Plus, it isn’t fair to judge people either. Sometimes people do crimes and that doesn’t mean they aren’t people, they’re just people who also probably have to go to prison, so they may as well teach him some cool stuff first.

“Sir, I… He… that’s not important right now.” Angus can’t think of what to say. It’s probably time for him to explain that he knows their game, that he understands what they’ve been doing.

“I know what you’ve been doing.” Angus tries to glare, he’s not sure how convincing it is.

“Are you okay, little man?” Lup asks, concern in her voice.

“You’re squinting. Is there something in your eye?”

“Stop looking after me, you don’t care about orphans do you? You’re the ones taking the funds from us!” Angus says. He has to push back, he can’t get used to this; can’t adjust to having someone to watch his back and think about his feelings and wash out his eye if he gets something in it. He’s going to be alone again soon.

“We’re doing fucking what now, sorry?” Says Taako, outrage clear in his voice.

“Stealing from who?” Lup says at the same time.

Angus opens his mouth to answer, to tell them he doesn’t believe their surprise, how could they not know what they were doing? He’s interrupted by the hull doors buckling one last time and screeching open. Four heavily armoured militia stride into the ship, seemingly unaffected by the illusory wall, they level their blasters at Angus and the twins. The alarm from the box finally stops blaring.

“Drop your weapons and stand down.” The voice filters through the heavy black helmet, all traces of accent or personality lost. Angus peers curiously at the red tinted visor, but nothing is visible through it. He usually deals with the more palatably humanoid side of the militia.

“This is all a misunderstanding, the kid opened it by accident.” Lup says casually, jabbing a thumb at Angus.

“No nefarious intent. We’ll just seal it back up and be on our way.”

“The child opened the crate?” The same tinny voice comes from a different helmet.

“Yeah, just kids being kids, you know how it is.” Lup smiles. Angus feels something tighten in his stomach, he can’t read the emotions in their voices, but their body language isn’t indicating that they plan to stand down. If anything, they’re more focused on him.

“No.” They reply in sync.

“Hand over the criminal you have apprehended and we will reseal the crate so you may continue the delivery.” Says one stepping forwards, holstering their blaster and reaching for Angus.

“Absolutely not!” Says Lup at the same time Taako shrugs and grabs Angus again. Surely they weren’t actually going to hand him over? They’d been so kind to him, and Lup said no. If Lup said no then it definitely wouldn’t be happening.

“Okay, here you go.” Taako says evenly.

“Taako!” Lup kicks him.

“We’re not handing over the kid.”

“He was my apprentice Lup. I, Taako, the best chef this side of the Astral Empire was sharing my skills. I let him into my kitchen! He was my apprentice and he tried to steal from us. I was going to give him the good recipes.” Taako says.

“I can’t believe I fell for this again.” Taako sounds hurt. Angus didn’t mean for Taako to be hurt.

“Ko, it’s not the same.” Lup says gently and pulls him back.

“Now get down.” With that, she’s launching a ball of what Angus could swear is fire from her blaster. It slams into the foremost of the militia, shoves them backward, leaves a large hole punched in the front of their armour. Angus tries not to stare too long at the mix of blistered wires and charred flesh he sees there.

“Lulu, what the fuck?” Taako screeches as he dives behind the crate, pulling Angus with him and covering him. Angus isn’t thinking too hard about the fact Taako’s protecting him with his literal body right now despite apparently being willing to hand him over a few seconds ago.

“Are you trying to die? Taako did not sign up for a space rebellion today. Did you look at my calendar? Is “fight space police and die about it” in there for today? No. No it fucking isn’t.”

The ship alarm stops. The others must be doing something… or the militia ship has overtaken the systems, but Angus hopes that’s not the case. As much as he trusts the legal process, he technically did open the crate… and lie about his identity… Which is attempted theft, fraud, and transport under false pretences. He’s technically still registered to the orphanage. This could be bad. He starts trying to worm his way out, maybe he can make a break for it while they’re distracted? Although, now Lup’s going to be in trouble for trying to protect him… but she’s a criminal, he shouldn’t care! But, Angus is a criminal… no, he was doing what he did for good reasons, he had to do it to solve the real crime, her crime.

“Right Angus…” Lup fires twice and ducks behind the crate too.

“What’s this about orphans?”

“Lup, is this really the time?” Taako presses himself around Angus more firmly as the wall above them sparks and shudders from the militia returning fire.

“We’ll be done with this soon.” Lup replies, confidently.

“Backup will be here any second.” She winks at Angus whose head is barely visible under Taako’s armpit.

“Now Ango, you need to tell us what’s going on.”

“You know what’s going on, Dr Lup.” He says resolutely. He refuses to get caught up in mind games, in Lup pretending she doesn’t know.

“Angus, we’re specialist freight delivery. We don’t ask too many questions, yeah, but it’s to help people like you and your Grandfather. Why the fuck would we want to hurt kids?” Lup looks so earnest, so confused, but Angus knows the answer.

“Money.” He says, and tries not to feel guilty as hurt flashes across Lup’s face.

The militia are nearly on them now. Lup fires a few more shots, Taako springs up to cover her, then straight back over Angus as fire is returned.

“Agatha, apologise right now. We raised you better than this. She’s out here fighting space police for you and you’re going to thank her by accusing her of murdering orphans and eating their skin? She just shot a dude to save your accusation wielding butt.” Taako huffs.

Angus debates refusing, but he can’t really argue with the logic… well, some of it. The important bits.

“Sorry Dr Lup.” He mutters.

She winks and pops up to shoot again just as the opening bars of Thunderstruck blare out of the ship’s speakers at full volume.

“Cavalry’s here.” She says as she ducks back down, barely avoids the blast which grazes the top of the crate.

“Taako, your side.”

Angus feels himself shoved to Lup as Taako rolls sideways, fires, and rolls back, grabbing him again.

“Magnus!” Comes a yell from the doorway. Cavalry’s here indeed, Angus can’t help but smile. Statistically it’s highly unlikely that the crew will lose, the militia clearly weren’t expecting this level of resistance. Angus tries not to think about whether everyone on the crew is actually registered as being on board; that information isn’t relevant to his case. There’s a volley of shots, and several loud thuds. Angus tries to wriggle free and look, he wants to make sure it’s the militia falling, not his friends… wait, the suspects. Taako holds him firm.

“Taako’s not gonna let you get hurt, Pumpkin. They’ll be okay. We’ve had worse.” Taako’s voice is calm, well, as calm as it ever gets. Angus wants to ask about the ‘worse’, but it probably isn’t the time.

“I can’t believe he chose fucking AC/DC. He always forgets that it’s not as cool after the intro.”

“Maybe he thought it’d be done by the time it got past that bit?” Angus suggests, muffled against Taako’s arm.

“He doesn’t plan, doesn’t think about the what ifs and the maybes and how long it might take to murder four highly trained space operatives. It’s all “Magnus!” and “Thunder!”” Taako shakes his head.

Another thud and the fire stops. Taako springs to his feet, still holding Angus.

“It’s okay, Ko. We’re good, you can put him down.” Lup nudges his shoulder and nods at the corpses.

“Although, maybe we should cover his eyes?” She adds, a frown crossing her face.

Angus rolls his eyes and wriggles free.

“Dr Lup, I’m a professional.” He pretends not to hear Taako’s loud snort as he strides over to the bodies, he should probably listen to what the crew are talking about, they could be getting their alibi straight, but honestly, Angus has bigger questions. As much as he’d boarded the ship convinced that the Starblaster was behind the thefts, it seemed less and less likely. Why would the militia come because of a crate alarm? Was the Starblaster being tracked?

The armour doesn’t appear to have pockets, Angus isn’t surprised, but was hoping for something. There had to be a clue. Any evidence was probably on their ship.... Their ship which was right there.

“Captain Davenport, was anyone left on their ship?” Angus shouts up, tearing himself away from the corpse.

The crew stops whispering and they turn to look at him. Merle gives an over exaggerated wave, but Lucretia pushes his hand down.

“Angus…” Begins the captain, gently.

“...do you think we’re stealing from the orphanage?”

“Yes.” Says Angus quickly. Then hesitates.

“Well, I did… because you are. Open the box, you’ll see it’s full of the latest donation to the fund. They never make it to the orphanage, because you take them somewhere else instead.”

Mr Magnus looks like he might cry.

It’s Dr Barry who strides over to the crate. The alarm is still wailing, but barely. He pulls the lid away, and stamps the siren until it falls silent, and then a few more times for good measure.

“He’s right.” Barry says.

The argument that breaks out is impossible to follow, and Angus doesn’t see the point in trying. They clearly don’t know what’s going on. Instead, he goes to investigate the hull doors where the militia boarded. He listens hard, no immediate sign of reinforcements. It would be pointless to get arrested now after everything, but he isn’t going to solve this without taking risks.

_________________________________

Taako is going to kill the kid, but he has to keep him alive long enough to do it, so when Angus slips away Taako has to follow. Not because he cares, obviously, just for practicality’s sake. They should be making pancakes right now, now starting Space War VI. They’d all promised to never be involved in another inciting incident after last time but apparently Lup just couldn’t help herself. It isn’t like he was actually going to hand the kid over, it just seemed like a good way to kill time until the others got there, but apparently Lup’s twin telepathy only applied to bullying him and not realising that he wasn’t about to indirectly throw a kid in prison.

It isn’t difficult to keep up but Taako hangs back, Angus is self sufficient most of the time. Anyway, he doesn’t really want to talk to the tiny backstabber right now. Taako showed him how to make the good cookies, and this was how he repaid him? Trying to get him thrown in jail? It’s the circle of life, the apprentice rises up to try and kill the master, but Taako isn’t so easy to usurp, Angus won’t take him out so easily. He’s been preparing for years baby, fool him once, shame on Taako, fool him twice? It simply isn’t going to happen. False accusations are nothing new, that’s why they definitely don’t hurt any more. Taako doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

Angus is thorough, stopping into each room he comes across. Taako tries not to feel too smug about how badly the kid would have struggled with his room - keeping things messy is a security measure. No one can tell him different. It’s definitely nothing to do with how hard it is to put things away. Nope nope nope.

Lup and Magnus appear either side of him without warning. Taako tries very hard not to shriek as loudly as he would like to when Magnus whispers “Magnus!” in his ear.

“Sssh.” Taako hisses, as quietly as possible.

“Are you having a feeling again, Koko? Compelled to look after your baby boy?” Lup whispers and wiggles her eyebrows. Taako debates whether Angus will notice if he shoots her with his blaster, just on the zappy setting, he isn’t feeling that murdery. Honest.

“Shhh.” He repeats.

“In fact,” she continues, “this is the opposite of “out here” which I believe I may have heard you mention is the place you prefer to be.” She gives a shit eating grin.

Taako’s hand drifts to his blaster, just a small zap, a teeny tiny one.

As Lup opens her mouth to continue making ridiculous accusations Taako shoves her and Magnus back round the corner. Angus is on the move again.

They track him quietly down the corridor, engaging in the second quietest slappy fight of their career. Magnus occasionally intercedes to avoid alerting Angus.

“Taako.” Magnus hisses.

“Sssh,” says Taako, poking Lup in the ribs.

“Taako!” Magnus whispers again, sounding more urgent.

“Lup.” He adds, tugging her back as she steps on Taako’s boot.

“Sssh!” Taako repeats.

“Agnes will…”

“Hear you, Sir?” Says Angus.

Taako tenses and barely muffles a cry of surprise.

“Jeezy creezy Agnes! You try to get me arrested and now you just straight up try to kill me?” Taako shouldn’t have come. He should have left the baby to go do his big brain bullshit with the militia ship alone and unguarded because apparently he hates Taako and wants to make sure he’s dead - be it from prison food, getting fucking shot, or shock.

“I knew you were following me the whole time, Sir.” The kid has the audacity to roll his eyes. Taako wonders how difficult it would be to uncouple the ship with Lup and Agnes on it. They’d be fine, probably.

“But I thought you should all know at least two more of the militia are still on board.” Angus smiles at them as if he expects a pat on the head. As if anyone’s gonna congratulate him for…

“Well done, Ango!” Says Magnus enthusiastically.

“How did you work that out?”

“It was simple, Sir!” Angus glows with pride and Taako glares at Magnus, then takes a quick mental holiday during the explanation. Wah wah wah, amount of rooms, mih mih mih, clock in sheet.

“So we have to kill two more super soldiers who are probably on high alert and ready to murder us super hard?” Taako asks, interrupting the end of Angus’ unreasonably detailed explanation.

“Bet I can kill mine faster than you.” Says Lup to Magnus.

“Nuh uh!” He protests, about to take off running. Taako grabs him.

“Woah woah woah. Chaboy has a notion, just a little idea, something off the wall, but how about we come up with some kind of plan? I know. I know. Ridiculous. But what if, and hear me out, what if we knew which direction we were going and whether we knew about any specific weaknesses, or… or… we regrouped and got the others to help us too? Barold has that gnarly death ray.” Taako watches Magnus’ face fall as he speaks. Oh, the crushing weight of not rushing in, poor Magnus, how he suffers.

“That’s a really great idea Sir. There’s two of them, and you’re going that way.” Angus points towards the corridor ahead from which clanking steps echo.

“I’m afraid it might be a bit late for the other bits, but I think their weakness was being shot a lot with your blasters. Anyway, I’m going to hide in here, good luck!” Angus ducks into the room nearby. Well shit.

Magnus glances into the room and dives in too, Taako knows he's not running away and abandoning them to the fight, but he can't help the brief flicker of panic. But even if Magnus did run, he and Lup would be fine, they've got this.

The twins level their weapons at the corner as the approaching steps speed up. Maybe mildly hysterical yelling wasn't the best stealth decision. Taako ignores the impulse to grab Lup and run, he knows she'll fight him every step of the way and never forgive him even if he could win that strength contest. Anyway, the nerd needs to stay alive long enough to get taught Taako’s second best pancake recipe (two can play at betrayal, Angus!)

Taako fires too soon, he knows it the second before the shot hits empty air and the footsteps stop. Fuck. Taako shoves Lup through the open doorway as the Militia return fire. He feels the tell-tale sting on his thigh, not quite fast enough; but Lup’s okay, Angus is safe, Magnus is here. It’s not worth mentioning, probably cauterised itself anyway, he can still walk… kind of, if he just shuffles his jacket they won’t know.

“So what’s the plan?” Magnus asks, keeping his voice low, and shooting blind down the corridor.

“Not getting fucking shot.” Taako replies, grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling him back. His leg twinges, but holds.

“We lost the element of surprise, but there’s still three of us.” Lup says. Taako isn’t sure whether to admire her, or try to tackle her. If she gets herself shot over this kid he’s going to do something about it, definitely something, yelling probably. Fuck his thigh hurts.

“Four of us, Dr Lup.” Says Angus, peering out from below the bunk in the corner.

“I brought my blaster.”

Magnus shakes free of Taako’s grasp and offers Angus a hand to help him slide out.

“Ready?”

“Absolutely not.” Says Taako, firing his own blaster down the corridor, careful to angle his leg away from the others, retreating before the answering fire can catch him again.

“The baby isn’t allowed a gun.”

“I’m not a baby!” Says Angus.

“We need everyone we can get right now.” Magnus adds.

“You can stay at the back.” Says Lup. Only Taako picks up on the slight wobble in her voice.

“Lup?” He asks quietly, he’s not sure why she’s letting this happen.

“We’ll keep him safe, he won’t have to shoot, but if we leave him out he’ll make his own plans.” She mutters to Taako, and yeah. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Angles won’t be told no, that’s for fucking sure.

“Fine, baby in the back.” Taako says loudly.

“I’m not a b…” Begins Angus, a shot glances off the side of the door. Those bastards, are they trying to do trick shots? It’s not a game of fucking pool.

This time, Taako doesn’t grab Magnus as he runs to the door.

“Still just the two, one’s hanging back as cover, the other’s advancing.” A shot hits the side of the door where Magnus had peered out.

“Looks like they’ve figured out the angles.”

“How about heights? Can we do anything with that?” Lup asks.

“I’m tall.” Magnus says, helpfully. Taako glares up at him.

“Mr Magnus, Sir. Why don’t we use the desk as a shield, it’s extremely sturdy. It’s bolted to the floor, but I think you should be able to…” Angus stops talking as Magnus rips the desk out of the floor.

“...loosen the bolts.” Angus finishes.

“Everyone behind me?” Magnus asks. Taako hopes the desk will actually fit through the door. At least Magnus is holding it upright and not sideways. Taako sweeps Angus behind him and gets into position behind Lup.

“You’re sure the desk is gonna be sturdy enoug…” Lup starts to ask as Magnus advances.

“I certainly hope so.” Mutters Angus behind him.

The desk takes the first volley easily, after the third it begins buckling. Well fuck.

“Go time.” Yells Magnus over the fire and starts fucking sprinting. Taako hopes that no one hears his pained whimpers over the protesting metal and sparking explosions. He can’t do too much of this.

The first impact is satisfying. Taako isn’t sure how you miss a fucking table barrelling towards you at speed, but maybe they didn’t anticipate that it was just gonna keep rolling straight for them? Did they think the Starblaster crew were just going to stop and duel? They deserved it. Magnus lifts the table slightly.

“One down, watch out underfoot and keep him down, Lup.”

Magnus kicks out as the armoured figure tries to right themselves, fells them again, and Lup drops back briefly. Two short blasts denote that it’s done. Taako glances at Angus, he didn’t see phased by the bodies in the hull, but it was different seeing the aftermath.

“They were trying to kill us, Sir.” Angus says without looking up. Rude. Taako didn’t give him permission to read his mind.

“Table isn’t gonna hold, I have another plan.” Says Magnus as Lup slots back into formation.

“What are you…” Lup doesn’t finish her sentence before Magnus launches the table down the corridor. A second thunk implying it found its mark.

“...thinking.” Lup finishes.

The table falls short, trapping only their legs. Taako and Lup pull up their blasters to fire, but Angus is quicker than both of them, firing a stun into the gap between the helmet and neck armour.

“I thought you might want to ask one of them what is going on, but feel free to finish the job if you don’t need to. The stun isn’t very effective on cyborgs, so you’ll need to grab them quickly.”

“On it.” Magnus lunges forward.

“They won’t need these.” He says, and grabs an arm. Taako feels sick, there’s definitely a robot/people line for these things and Magnus has apparently smashed right through it. Lup looks back at him with wide eyes and side eyes Angus a few times.

“Right Pumpkin, let's go find the rest of the super secret documents.” Taako shoves Angus forwards, past the horror show Magnus is creating.

“It’s okay, Sir, I’ve seen worse you know.” Angus shouldn’t sound so calm right now.

“Oh so you’ve got time to spend watching Mangus rip someone’s arms off, but you didn’t have a few moments to get back up before you came onto an enemy ship?” Taako keeps walking, hopefully Angus will follow, he isn’t in the mood to watch what Magnus is doing right now… Maybe Lup can talk him down.

“Yes Sir, you’re right Mr Taako. We should go and find evidence. I think we might be able to clear your names.” Angus skips forwards as a horrifying ripping sound comes from behind them, followed by a firm “Magnus no! That’s people!” from Lup. Taako focuses really hard on singing the jingle for HoloPans! in his head, just in case.

In the cockpit he leaves Angus to his own devices. It’s like releasing a bucket of spiders into a room but the kid’s every spider and he’s in one place and is also all of the spiders at the same time, just without the extra legs, probably, or does he have more than two? Taako is fine, is the thing. He’s fine and he doesn’t need to look at his leg, but he is going to have a little sit down because it has been a big day and he deserves it.

“You didn’t do it, Sir.” Angus is tugging Taako’s jacket. Taako doesn’t know why, he isn’t asleep.

“I know I didn’t do it, Agnes. Which is what I’ve been telling you since you accused me. If I recall correctly, Lup told you too, and Magnus, and Barry, and everyone fucking else. Mostly, because we didn’t do it.” Taako isn’t defensive about this. Definitely not. He just likes to be thorough when explaining things.

“Suspects don’t usually confess immediately, Sir. I had to check. But now I know, and I can show the militia that too.” Angus says brightly.

“Uh huh.” Says Taako, giving Angus a moment to catch up.

“I can’t tell the militia can I, Sir?” He says, quietly.

“Nope!” Taako pops the P.

“Probably not best to let them know that: Good news! The Starblaster crew didn’t do it, we just killed five…ish of your scary tech soldiers to prove it, also you did it so arrest yourselves!”

“How did you…?” Angus looks slightly offended.

“Work out it was them?” Taako asks. Angus nods.

“Who else was it gonna be? Big scary Astral Empire with its big scary space force. Never trust authority, kid.” Taako throws up a peace sign and definitely doesn’t list sideways, Taako’s good.

“They were switching out the donations before they even got to the orphanage. Then they put trackers in the boxes and tail you to make sure you don’t open them and don't ask any questions. They keep tabs on your trips, but don’t do the job themselves so they can pin it on you if they ever need to.” Angus pauses and focuses on Taako with a frown.

“Is the wound worse than you thought, Mr Taako?” Angus asks, looking directly into his fucking soul.

“What’re you talking about, Agnes?” Taako’s cool as a cucumber, a really cold one, straight from the freezer, terrible texture, great for black eyes.

“You got hit, Sir.” Says Angus softly.

“Nuh uh.” Replies Taako, got him. Can’t refute that. Now it’s time for a nap! Winners get to sleep.

____________________________________

Awareness comes back slowly, but he can see brown skin and a white topknot bobbing about beside him.

“Merle?” Taako croaks.

“Decided to re-join us have you?” Merle grouses.

“It’s Candlenights, and here I am, busting my ass, trying to make sure you don’t shuffle off the mortal coil.”

“Tell Lup to put more salt in the mashed potatoes, she never uses enough.” Taako says as his eyelids grow heavy again.

______________________________________

This time, the noise wakes him. He grumbles and tosses his head, but nothing’s blocking out what sounds like fucking Margharetiaville being stop-start jabbed out on the piano and then echoed on a violin. Are they seriously trying to figure this arrangement out right now? Why isn’t he in the med bay? Who the fuck is thumping on his brain? No wait, that’s Angus, Angus is thumping on his good Tupperware with his olive wood spoons.

“Those aren’t drums!” Taako tries to get up, realises it’s a losing battle and flops back onto the chair.

“Told you that’d do it.” Says Angus smugly and smiles up at Lup and Barry.

Barry pats him on the back and slips him some chocolate.

“Good one bud, you win.”

“Guh?” Says Taako, wisely.

“Thought we’d Weekend at Bernies you so you didn’t miss out on the entirety of Candlenights, brother mine. It wasn’t the same without you” Lup flops down on the sofa beside him.

“Wanna see the photos? We really thought you’d wake up during the doughnut sandwiches, but you can catch it next year. Lup grabs a stack of photos from the table and flicks through to one with Taako slumped in a chair wearing a pair of doughnut deely boppers while everyone else cheers together doughnut sandwiches dripping peanut butter.

“Glad you’re back with us.”

“I… you? Urgh.” Everything hurts and Taako’s brain feels like it’s brimming with soup, the kind that you could stand a spoon up in. Good for bread, terrible for thinking.

“I think you might need to explain what happened, Dr Lup.” Angus wriggles his way onto the sofa too, and Barry slides on beside Lup.

“Once upon a time…” Says Barry.

“There was a beautiful elf,” Adds Lup.

“And her brother Taako, who was just fine.”

Taako groans.

“I need you to know that I would be storming out right now if my leg worked.” He prods Lup in the ribs and is pleased to get a gigglesnort in reply.

“So I got shot.”

“You got shot, bud.” Says Barry.

“And then?”

“You went into shock, then you got an infection, because you can’t do anything and not be dramatic about it.” Lup says, grinning at him. Taako resists the impulse to huff and prove her right. It’s fine to be expressive.

“Then you decided to drag me to meals while I was passed out?” He asks.

“Not just meals, we also just used you to scare Magnus a lot.” Barry says.

Taako snorts, to be fair, Magnus had it coming after the last 3 years of trying to ‘prepare them for anything’.

“Ms Lucretia read to you.” Angus says soothingly.

“And Merle…”

“Please don’t finish that sentence if it involves plants.” Taako cuts him off, not wanting to hear about what level of flirting and or heavy petting may have gone on next to him while he couldn’t make it stop.

“Captain Davenport ordered you not to die!” Angus’ change of direction tells Taako everything he needs to know about Merle’s conduct.

“That’s good of him.” Taako says, trying very hard to pretend he’s not crying. He isn’t, obviously, his eyes are just watering because they’re not used to being open apparently.

“Magnus reworked some of his robot arm collection into a spare leg in case you needed it.” Lup grins at him.

“It’s as horrifying as you imagine.”

“Speaking of his collection…?” Taako doesn’t want to say more, he’s not sure if he actually wants to know the answer.

“I didn’t let him.” Lup says quickly.

“He understood… eventually.”

“And why are you still here, kid?” Taako asks.

“I thought we needed to get you home for Candlenights.”

“I still have a pancake recipe to learn, Sir.” Angus says, smiling brightly.

Taako stares very hard at the ceiling.

“Okay cool.” He flops back onto the chair and closes his eyes. If he passes out again no one can ask him any questions about how he may or may not feel.

New voices approach and Taako stays resolutely still.

“Oh no, you just missed Taako. He’s definitely absolutely passed out again. I suppose we can at least try and get the perspective picture that looks like he’s on top of the candlenights bush. Do you want to hold him up, Magnus? Unless of course, he is awake and wants to talk about his feelings?” Lup directs the last bit of the sentence into Taako’s ear. Taako plays dead. There’s no way he’s giving up that easily.

_____________________________________________

Taako frames the picture of the 8 of them gathered round the bush. Magnus stood to the side, dangling Taako by his collar in the general direction of the bush, nowhere near the top. Lup and Barry are throwing up peace signs, Dav salutes formally, Lucretia looks vaguely worried, and Merle is uncomfortably close to the greenery. Angus sits happily in the middle of the frame, his smile bright enough to distract from the chaos around him.

#Candlenights 2022 #TAZ Fic #TAZ Balance #Angus McDonald #Taako Tacco #Did this get slightly out of hand? Maybe #Taako would rather play dead while Magnus hoists him than admit to having affection for anyone or anything #Everyone may have gone mildly feral - as a treat #Noodyl Writes #TW for background non-canon character death #TW for Magnus getting overzealous with his robot arm proclivity #TW mild violence #Feel free to message and ask about the content if you're concerned

[fandomsnstuff]

Angus figures everything out and fucks up Lucretia’s whole Thing AU

Lucretia hires angus, innoculates him, and is like this is the deal with those missing people cases you were investigating

Angus says oh okay! This totally and completely satiases my curiosity :)

Internally angus says this is sus as hell

So he does what he does best, he snoops

So angus is snooping and somehow, cause he's a little crime boy who can sneak around real good, he finds the starblaster

He's like what the fuck is this

He gets in, and it's.....odd. he doesnt linger in any one room too long, he just kind of pokes his head into the bedrooms and moves on (he figures he shouldnt stay here too long, lest he get caught)

But the most peculiar thing is how lived in this place looks. There's mismatched furniture with throw pillows and blankets in the common area, a chore chart on the fridge, the bedrooms are all cluttered with knick knacks and clothes, beds unmade, theres a lab with papers scattered around tables and taped to the wall

But one room catches his attention

It's... fairly simple, and emptier than the others. Bookshelf with some books missing, a bare desk, but what catches his attention is the pile of red on the bed

He goes to investigate and finds robes and jackets, all with an odd patch and names embroidered on them

He finds, in this order:

A robe with "lucretia" embroidered on it

A jacket and robe, together as if someone had been wearing them at the same time, with "lup" and "taako"

A jacket with "davenport"

A robe with "merle"

A jacket with "magnus"

(there’s no barry robe cause he fell off the ship with it, these are the robes/jackets lucretia took off of the crew members as she sent them off to their new lives)

Now. This is after crystal kingdom and angus was at the candlenights party. He knows the director's name is lucretia

He knows who Davenport is

He knows who taako, magnus, and merle are

This is pre-LUP incident, so he doesnt know who lup is

Angus, appropriately freaked out, puts them all back and BOLTS

Angus vacates the premises

Runs back to his room

He tries to figure out what this all means, but his thoughts dodge around the obvious conclusion that's right in front of him

Hes too nervous to go back, it's not until the L U P incident that he decides okay. I have to go back

So he goes back. He goes into the room labeled Captain's Quarters (although "captain" has been scratched out and changed to "cap'nport". Angus doesnt think too hard about what that means)

In the desk he finds some folders with the same weird logo as the robes and jackets. He doesnt look in them. Not yet. He can do that back in his room. He cant spend too much time here.

Then he goes to the lab. He doesnt know what hes looking for, but he grabs ones that seem important. A notebook or two. Some papers clipped together. He just grabs and shoves them into his bag and he fuckin bolts again

he looks at what he grabbed and some of it he can read, some of it he can't

They lived in that ship. They were going on a mission for something. They made the grand relics to stop something. Theres a lot of notes on the planes.

Angus recognizes the way some stuff is redacted, and he kind of figures out that there must be another voidfish. And if the directors name was on one of those robes, maybe she has it.

Refuge mission comes and goes

Angus, cause he's so fucking good, is able to sneak back into lucretias personal quarters and finds junior. He fills a water bottle with the ichor and gets the fuck outta there

He gets back to his room, innoculates himself and is like AAAAAAAAAA

Cause he can finally put it all together properly

And he basically pieces together the whole hunger situation himself with the notes he grabbed

The stuff he grabbed from davenports room was the crew's like profiles or whatever from when they got hired on to the mission so angus now knows who lup is

So angus is like oh i GOTTA fix this

So he heads down to the reclaimers dorm with his bottle of ichor

Angus: i need you to drink this Merle: what is it? Angus: voidfish ichor Taako: *laughs* hate to break it to you kid, we already drank the voidfish juice. Angus: just- please? Magnus: yeah alright

So magnus drinks it. His breath catches and he kinda goes weak and he's shaking and he drops to his knees. After a minute or two (or more) he looks up at angus. "Holy shit," he says. He grabs the bottle from where he dropped it and holds it out to taako and merle. "Drink it." He says.

"Yeah alright," merle says. Same deal as with magnus.

Once merle collects himself, they both turn to taako.

"Yeah, alright. Sure. Let's get taako in on this weird party," he says, taking the bottle and drinking

This time, magnus is ready and he catches taako when his knees give out

"Im gonna fucking kill her," taako mumbles into magnus' shoulder, his knuckles white as he grips his shirt.

"You're not gonna kill her."

"Im gonna fucking hit her so HARD, i swear to god."

Taako keeps his face in magnus' shoulder, but magnus and merle watch as angus crosses the room to where taako had left the umbrastaff, and he walks back over to magnus and taako on the floor

"Sir?" Taako looks up at angus. Angus holds the umbrella out, "i think i know where your sister is."

(Lup, meanwhile, in the staff: HEEEEELLLLL YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH)

It takes taako a second, but he realizes what angus is saying and scrambles out of magnus' hold and to his feet. He takes the umbrella and lifts it, about to snap it when angus says, "wait!"

Taako glares at him. "Ive waited ten years, kid. Make it snappy." "Madame director had a holy symbol in her office. I think it would ward against your sister, if shes a lich." "Uuugggggghhhhhhhhh LUCRETIAAAAAA"

The four of them go down planetside under the guise of a magic lesson and not wanting to burn any more "cryptic messages" into the walls

Taako snaps that fuckin umbrella as soon as his feet hit solid ground

Lup's back!

Lup does some magic shit to summon barry, so barold shows up, happy reunion, and then a Discussion on what to do re: davenport not being innoculated and re: lucretia

Their plan boils down to this: thb and angus will go back to the moon and act as if this never happened. As far as lucretia knows, thb are still under junior's influence

As soon as they can get davenport alone without rousing any suspicion, they bring him to their room and innoculate him. Once he's got his memories back, he'll be powerful enough to a) get his bracer off/disable the tracking spell in it and b) get off the base undetected

Davenport will definitely not want to go back to playing butler, so he'll sneak off the base and hang out with lup and barry until lucretia sends the boys to wonderland

When the boys get sent to wonderland, theyll meet up, get the bell all together, and THEN confront lucretia, cause at that point theyll have the whole light, and they'll have Options

So they do just that. They go back and innoculate davenport a few days later, a week at most

A panic ensues once everyone realizes davenport is missing

AND the tracking in his bracer is turning up nothing

Lucretia's blood pressure has never been higher

But everything goes as business per usual

Lucretia, oddly enough, suspects nothing re: the boys ‘cause surely they wouldve confronted her if they remembered

The boys get sent down to wonderland. They meet up with blupjeans and dav at the entrance. With the six of them with all their memories and full access to their skills they take edward and lydia down in like 30 minutes. Tops.

So edward and lydia get their asses thoroughly handed to them by the six of them

(Davenport has the time of his LIFE)

They head back to the lich cave, barry gets in his new body and gets innoculated (the boys brought some ichor with them for him)

Lup possesses barry, then barry-with-lup and dav get in the pocket spa and back up to the moon they go

Lucretia is in her office when avi comes knocking "Uh... director? The boys are coming back." "Already?" "Yeah." "Are you sure it's them?" "Yep."

Lucretia is.... stunned. It's been... an hour and a half. Two, maybe. She has full faith in the boys but they took down wonderland in two hours?????

Not even two hours

She goes to meet them, highly suspicious

But they arrive and, sure enough, it's them. No magic. No tricks. It's them, for sure.

taako has the bell and hes just holding it casually from the top as if it isnt one of the most powerful magic items in existence. And she can tell he isnt thralled, that's just how hes decided to transport it.

Lucretia: ive got to admit, you boys took care of that...much faster than i expected Magnus: ah, it was no big Merle: piece of cake! Taako: yeah, luce, shit was easy. Dunno what you were talkin' about earlier.

And lucretia just freezes. Luce. Thats what taako called her. It’s what they all called her, really, but it’s the nickname Taako took 4 whole cycles to give to her, officially cracking the door of friendship open to her. And she looks him in the eyes and she knows that he knows. And she looks at merle and magnus and she can tell they know, too.

And taako gives her a venomous smile, all teeth, and says, "why dont we go have a little chat, madame director" and she flinches at the way he spits out her title

She doesnt know what to do but nod and turn to leave. As she turns, there's angus, looking up at her with a determined set to his brow, and she knows he knows too

They head back to her office, and taako pulls the pocket spa out, and before lucretia can ask him what hes doing, out walks barry and davenport. And barrys eyes have got that red glow about them, so she knows lup's here too.

"Take down the lich ward, lucretia," barry says.

She does, and now there's a firey, red robed lich among them.

Now this is where things get a little iffy for how they work out but here's what i got

They have a similar confrontation as canon where theyre bickering about staying or going, shield or no shield, and im thinking this is where taako has his "there's a third option" realization

And, because they did extreme wonderland speedrun, and they didnt take a whole extra day to travel to the lich cave and just used fuckin magic to get there, theyre a whole day ahead of where they were in canon

The hunger is close enough at this point tho that they can enact the plan like. Now.

But magnus insists on returning Fisher's baby to them first

As magnus takes junior, lucretia works on getting the base secured and getting the bureau members ready for if the hunger touches down before they can cut it off

Magnus goes down to fisher with the baby, he takes his axe and swings, breaking the tank open

Johann, still alive and now soaking wet, is like dude wtf

Magnus returns the baby and out goes the story and song

Now johann is REALLY like DUDE WTF

Magnus is like im off to save the universe. Peace.

So since theyre a whole day ahead of the hunger, all seven of them go up in the ship

And then they fight and they win and they cut the hunger off and it's rad

The end

#taz au #angus mcdonald #taz balance #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch #taako taaco #taako #taz taako #taz lucretia #lucretia adventurezone

[lexicals]

Liner notes for An Echo, An Answer

Okay let's give this a go I guess? I may add more to this if I remember things too lol

Fair warning this is an exceedingly long post. It has ~subheadings~ (ooh). These cover: 

Fun Facts

Notes about mira

Notes on actual writing/plot

Post-canon tidbits (to be supplemented by actual post-canon oneshot coming maybe not soon but definitely at some point probably)

Needless to say this contains some BIG OL’ SPOILERS. Please enjoy o:

Some general Fun Facts™:

When I posted the first few chapters of this fic, I didn't have a fucking clue where it was going. I didn't even know how kravitz died until I'd already posted like 10 chapters lmao. This was a stressful way to write and I am never doing that again

In terms of inspo, I remember there being a fic in which taako was a ghost and kravitz was a medium (if anyone knows what fic this is PLEASE tell me I cannot find it) and I think I subconsciously took inspiration from this. Also I’d already written a vampire au and I wanted more undead boyfriend shenanigans, I looove playing with the liminal aspects of kravitz being a dead-but-not-dead character

There was a goof version of this fic where kravitz wasn't from the 1900s at all and died in like. The early 2000s or something. He died having come back from/at a costume party, people assumed he was an actual ye olde victorian ghost, and he decided to just lean into it. Cue fake accent. This was scrapped mainly because I loved the ‘sleepy hollow’-esque man-out-of-time shenanigans way too much and also because I know very little about the early-2000s US but do you know what I do know a moderate amount about? 1900s england

I have not read the cask of amontillado and I did not know what it was until seeing the memes, which was after I wrote the basement body twist. I just wanted to have a cheesy secret basement behind a bookcase c'mon it's a murder mystery in an old spooky house let me have this

Anyone who's followed my content for a while probably knows that I'm a big trans kravitz stan, but I dithered over making him trans in this fic a Lot. This was mostly down to self-doubt abt a story ft. a trans man living as his preferred gender in that time period would be deemed "unrealistic" but in the end I said fuck it I want this & I think that was the correct move. Also I read a fair bit about absolute legend dr james barry & that made me a bit more confident about committing to the decision bc these people did exist & they deserve their rep

You may notice that all of the major OCs created for this fic are women. This was an accident but also I stand by it bc I think it helps to balance out the fact that so much of the ‘screentime’ is being dominated by the male leads (inc. angus, who probably has the 3rd most screentime after taako & krav). They’re also all just, absolutely indomitable people. I have a type when it comes to OCs. Speaking of:

Notes on mira:

Mira was very much a character created to serve a purpose, but she ended up becoming a lot more than that and I'm glad people warmed up to her while reading as much as I did while writing. She wasn't going to have anywhere near as much screen time initially as she did in the end but I just loved her & how her relationship with kravitz turned out so much that I ended up writing a bunch of snippets with the two of them just for me, which eventually turned into the fragment chapters because I wanted to share how gd cute they were. Also they ended up being pretty useful for plot too lol

She and flossy were actually kind of the same character to begin with, being kravitz's best friend who he lived with in a kind of lavender marriage with neither of them interested in the other but being happy enough being friends & pretending. I scrapped this pretty early for a lot of reasons but she was still the cause of his death in that version, whether or not she actively killed him. I think there was a gambling debts element at some point

Whatever iteration of the story, she was always going to be the cause of death. I ruled out actual murder pretty early on because I didn't want to tell a story about a gay, black trans man getting murdered in cold blood in his own home, which in a ghost story only really leaves manslaughter, and an accidental killing by a loved one was an idea that followed pretty hot on the heels of that decision - it's very sad, but there's no hatred behind it, so it's not too outright depressing for what is most likely an audience with a high population of marginalised people. That bittersweetness of tone - sad events, but almost always with loving intentions behind or around them - ended up being a real touchstone for the story as a whole

In terms of post-canon content for her, or I guess just stuff that wasn't mentioned in-fic lol, my idea of how her life played out is that she was a pretty solid pillar of her community for a very long time. She took what kravitz said about thinking about what she wanted to add to the world very much to heart, and her answer was for her to be to as many kids and vulnerable people as possible what kravitz was to her. Obviously in the end she poured a lot of herself into helping others out of guilt for having killed a man who she likely remembered a little rose-tinted, but the intent was always there before that too

I don't know how much this came across in the actual text but mira is mixed race (Black/white), though she is Black-coded in terms of how people see and respond to her (please tell me if I’m using these terms incorrectly). I downplayed a lot of the racial elements of this fic bc I don’t feel like it’s my place as a white writer to delve into those areas, but it is an element of her story that ties into anti-miscegenation laws and general societal attitudes and I didn’t just want to entirely gloss over those aspects, bc that wouldn’t be right of me either, so I can only hope the balance ended up working here, and for kravitz’s story too. I did a lot of the writing for mira’s story before even really thinking about this angle which is something I’ve learnt from now bc oh boy should I have thought about it sooner lmao........

Anyway. I love her. I’m very glad that other people love her too

In terms of story writing:

I used to watch A LOT of crime dramas when I was younger, and got so familiar with the structure of them that I used to predict who the killer was going to be about a quarter of the way into them almost every time. Most of the time the killer is someone introduced early on as someone fairly innocuous, but still notable, before the narrative doubles down on a red herring suspect who's proven innocent about 3/4 of the way through, paving the way for the real twist killer. You see where I took my base structure from here

So, mira is introduced early on as someone important to kravitz, who was involved in his life (& death) somehow, but in general she's more suggested to be a victim than a culprit - because of course she is, she’s a child and she loves him! I'm only just realising now that this is a "person of interest" style plot twist here. (Remember what I said about the crime dramas? Just so many of them.) But then in the end she suffered just as much as anyone else, so I guess you could say she's both a victim and a culprit, even by accident.......

Structurally I'm actually really happy with how this turned out. In my head (BECAUSE OH BOY I DID NOT WRITE ANY OF THIS DOWN! Or at least not in a coherent way) the story was split into three mini arcs - the enemies section ending with the kitchen blowout, the friends section ending with the the bay window scene, and the lovers section which covers the rest of the fic. This ended up integrating really well with the main mysteries/pulls of the story - the first being the will-they-won't-they (they will, it’s fanfiction, but how?) of the romance element, and then once that's tapering off starting to dig more into the murder mystery element, which had been more of a subplot up until then, while the romance moves onto the back burner a little bit. The dual genre was an interesting challenge to try to balance and I think it turned out pretty well!

While I'm on this, setting up my breadcrumb trails for the plot twists was simultaneously very stressful and very rewarding. Trying to keep things obvious enough to be noted but subtle enough not to give the whole game away? Gave me so many headaches lmao. I actually thought for sure that some people would twig about the body in the cellar sooner than ch42, but then actually in ch42 way more people picked up on fisher's sniffing around than I expected. Clues are hard!! But at the same time seeing the handful of people who called mira as an adoptive daughter, or the fact that krav fell down the stairs, or the fact that mira's og parents were involved was very cool and it made me very happy to see people picking up the little stuff and putting it together

QUITE A FEW PEOPLE SAID NICE THINGS TO ME ABOUT HOW CLEVER THE PIANO TUNING ANGLE WAS. I CANNOT TAKE COMPLETE CREDIT FOR THIS. IT WAS A PLOT HOLE THAT I SUDDENLY REGISTERED OUT OF NOWHERE WHILE I WAS IN THE SHOWER & THEN ENDED UP WORKING IN SO I GUESS IT TURNED OUT FOR THE BEST & MADE ME LOOK VERY SMART BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Something else that a couple of people have noted & that I only realised in the process of writing was the fact that a lot of kravitz's ghostliness in this fic has the potential to be read as an allegory for chronic illness/disability. This was something I only caught onto myself while I was writing the scene on the porch at the end of ch42 when I was writing kravitz's dialogue and was like..... oh shit that's a thing huh. Bc he is, y'know, quite literally housebound and limited in what he can do in a lot of ways, which is part of the reason I really tried to hammer home in that chapter that even though the fic ends with him being 'cured' (because that ending was always the intention from day one before I ever thought about this reading), they would have been happy together regardless. Love is not conditional!

Post-canon thoughts:

Taako and kravitz go into the house. Kravitz says oh my god what is that smell. Taako says he made blueberry pie earlier. Kravitz says okay we're putting bedroom fun times on hold I need that RIGHT NOW

Kravitz eats way too much too fast and spends the rest of the afternoon curled up on the sofa with a horrible stomach ache. He is not used to that much rich food. Taako is not impressed with this

He rolls his eyes and they watch a movie and talk instead and get to the bedroom fun times later

On the topic of food you Know krav ends up with a bit of a tummy from taako spoiling him. He looks & feels great and taako loves how comfy he is

Also on the topic of bodies I think krav does a lot of experimenting initially with what feels good now that he has a lot more freedom in presentation. He likes to mess with his hair a lot. Dresses and skirts are still a bad feel but a little makeup is fun sometimes. Kravitz living his best undeath 2k18 (I took so long to finish this fic it’s set 2 years ago now lmaoooo)

Kravitz lets taako drive him somewhere exactly Once before vowing NEVER AGAIN taako's driving privileges are REVOKED kravitz is going to get magnus to teach him to drive instead.

Taako says what the hell are you gonna do if you get pulled over you are a hundred and thirty and also dead you can't get a license. (He could get him a fake one, but he's not going to, because he's being petty about kravitz insulting his driving.) Kravitz says fine show me yours then. Taako says no but kravitz steals it anyway. A minute later he’s produced his own undoubtedly fake license out of nowhere complete with a fake DOB and a very nice picture

Taako says gasp kravitz that's ILLEGAL. Also you know you have to make this picture worse if you want it to be convincing right

Kravitz starts giving angus music lessons. Angus isn’t a natural by any means but he works hard and that gets him a long way

OH ACTUALLY I SHOULD PROBABLY SAY SMTH ABOUT THE REUNIONS HUH. GINNY THESE ARE FOR YOU:

Maybe it's weird to start with barry but the poor man has to have a sit down. He has so many questions. Kravitz what is the afterlife like it's fine you can tell him just give him a hint please and also can he maybe get like. A blood sample or something. No that's not weird it's for science what are you talking about taako bring him back

Kravitz is fully expecting lup to wreck his shit, and she acts like she's going to right up until she's close enough to give him a big ol hug instead. She says she missed him a lot & that he's much nicer to hug now that he's not a freezy boy, and kravitz goes ;_;

It's a very tight hug though. In some ways it is still a punishment

Also could he maybe hook her up with this death goddess of his? Lup would like to be immortal too, kravitz. Kravitz can you get a resume to your boss and could you write lup a reference while you're at it

Angus!! He’s so happy to have his other uncle back!! There’s a new caleb cleveland book he needs to read so they can talk about it!! All of this after a lot of crying and hugging.

I think at some point they do go over to visit mira’s descendants. Taako says hi remember me? I brought my boyfriend to visit! Unnamed great great grandchild #1 is like um he looks kind of familiar. Kravitz says well yes there is kind of a reason for that and it’s because I’m in that picture on the wall over there, hi I’m your great great grandfather nice to meet you

The family is a little weirded out by this at first but eventually they’re like. Well alright I guess do you want a coffee

Kravitz says yes please god do you know how many people keep offering me tea

He babysits for the youngest ones sometimes. The kids love him and the adults are happy to give him stories in exchange for his time, seeing as that’s all he asks for

Taako says ask them for money and contribute to this household kravitz. Kravitz says absolutely not they’re family and you’re already getting my youtube ad revenue

Yes kravitz has a youtube channel and is also very involved in the local music scene. He can’t do anything that would technically be classed as interfering with the flow of the living world but no-one said he can’t anonymously share some of his music here and there

Johann gets him a gig conducting for his orchestra every now and then. Kravitz is fucking ecstatic and finally gets to conduct some of his own pieces in front of an audience. Maybe they actually get to that biography johann mentioned at some point. Idk I haven’t thought about that part too much

Okay I wrote WAY more than I meant to here but I hope at least some of it was interesting and feel free to ask me questions if there are elements I’ve missed off of here that you want to hear more about! (Bearing in mind some of the answers may be “actual post canon content coming soon/later” lol.) As you can tell I have a lot of things to say about this fic & I’m always more than happy to hear that people are interested!! o:

#wastepaper basket #an echo an answer #God I hope the readmore works on mobile if not I am SO SORRY

[ceilingfan5]

70 and 100 for taakitz, please! Thank you!

Locked in a Room, Accidentally Saving the Day 

The damn door was mislabeled. Useless, terrible building full of useless, terrible people. Masked Death turned to go right back out the stupid door of the closet, but when he grabbed the doorknob, it wouldn’t budge. He tried shouldering into the idiot thing, to no avail. Masked Death’s powers certainly didn’t cross into the realm of super strength. He was stuck. This would not do. It would not do at all. He had crimes to commit, people to take out. He could not be trapped in a fucking closet like a dumbass waiting for a savior that wouldn’t come. No one knew he was there, no one would have expected him to come, and all of the security cameras had been disabled due to SOMEONE’S neat handiwork, so there was almost no evidence of his arrival. He could be trapped in there for quite some time. 

Masked Death hurled a roll of toilet paper at the door. It bounced off and hit him in the eye. He sat down and folded his arms, trying not to pout. He was a grown fucking man. 

He was fucked.

Taako had been working at the Goldcliff Trust for a few weeks now. He temped in a lot of places, usually ones with less strict dress codes, but he’d been all over the country taking short jobs, making enough to live, quitting, fooling around, partying until the money was all gone, moving on to the next job. He didn’t have much in the way of a work ethic, but he had a natural sort of charm and did well enough at whatever task at hand that most of his coworkers either didn’t notice or didn’t care when he slipped off to do god-knows-what for as long as he could get away with it. His favorite spot was a closet on the thirteenth floor, a good place to chill, eat a sandwich, text his jackass friends. 

He never expected it to be occupied. 

“DON’T LET THE DOOR-”

Slam. 

“You fool! You idiot! You absolute walnut! I have been trapped in here for half an hour now-”

“Holy shit, are you a super? What are you doing in my closet? This is my spot, homie, so unless you want a chill hang sesh, and no, I am not sharing my ham sandwich, you better mosey elsewhere.”

“Oh, how I would fucking love to mosey elsewhere,” Masked Death snarls, “But it seems I cannot. Perhaps if a fool hadn’t let the door close-”

“What? It’s not locked, it’s just-” Taako tries the door. “Uhhhh. Locked. Huh. That’s new.”

“I am aware.”

“Shit, well, I’m still not going back on the sharesies thing, ‘less you have some money in that sweet ass catsuit, dog. ‘S a good sandwich.” 

“I-” Masked Death wishes he could rub his temples without his mask falling off, but that would be incredibly bad. “I don’t give a shit about your sandwich. I just want to leave.”

Taako looked him up and down, taking his sweet time. It was a pretty sick catsuit, all black with red highlights and leather. “Hey, you’re not like, a villain, are you?”

“What gave it away, the color scheme? My sunny disposition? Or maybe you’ve seen me before.” Masked Death drew himself up, which is hard to do from the floor with two people in the closet, but he stood just for the sake of having enough room to puff his chest out. “I’m on a mission to do what must be done, not what is right or good, or any namby-pamby attitude might think-”

“Cause villains are pretty hot.” Taako grinned, noting that they were nearly the same height now, and he could see this guy’s eyes through the mask. They certainly didn’t expect that. “And we are trapped in a closet, sooo.”

“Pal, I’m talking about ending the bloated lives of capitalist pigs, and you want to make out??”

“Well, if you’re offering! Fuck! Can’t a guy have a little fun on his break?”

Masked Death considered it. He’d already missed his window, he’ll have to come back tomorrow. The worker was rather cute, in his pencil skirt and messy bun and the mysteriously charming gap in his toothy smile. 

“I can tell, you’re thinking ‘why not’! And cha’boi’s here to tell you, there’s no reason why not. I won’t even rat you out when my friend gets here in ten minutes to break us out. I’m no friend of the bosses around here, alright?”

Maybe villainy could be postponed...for the moment.

“Alright.” 

#taakitz #tazb #taz #the adventure zone #the adventure zone balance #fan5fics #thank you! #should i do more of this super power au?

[neurodivergent-loverboy]

30 Days of Autism Acceptance

April 7: Talk about autism in the media. Do you think that autism is typically portrayed well? Badly? Is there anything you'd like to see more of when it comes to autistic representation? Who are your favorite autistic characters? Do you have any headcanons?

I'm a day late again, oops. But anyway!! This is something I fuckin love to talk about! I wrote a whole essay last semester on Spongebob being autistic-coded, and whether that was good or bad. General conclusion was that his autistic-coded traits are mostly portrayed as negative (annoying, childish, etc) and it has a noticeable impact on how the audience treats him. So, not very good. Most autistic-coded characters are not very good representation; there's just so many one-dimensional stereotypes. And a sizable chunk of the explicitly autistic characters I've encountered leave a lot to be desired, too. Even they fall into the traps of stereotypes.

What I would love to see more of, honestly? Autistic characters made by autistic writers. We're the experts on our own experiences, not anyone else. Not parents or siblings or even medical professionals. I'd also love to see more diverse autistic representation. More diverse traits shown, of course, but also intersecting identities. Such a huge majority of autistic characters are white and cis male with no other disabilities and either straight or ace-coded. And of course there's real autistic people like that, but not 90+ percent of us! I would love to see more media featuring autistic people of color, autistic people with additional disabilities, queer autistic people of all kinds, autistic girls and nonbinary people, and all sorts of intersections beyond that! I'm hoping to contribute to good autistic representation with my own writing, and honestly, my favorite autistic characters are my own. I have yet to see many portrayals in media that honestly satisfy me.

But I headcanon basically every character I can as autistic or otherwise neurodivergent! Just cause I can, and cause I love projecting. Here's all my neurodivergent headcanons for The Adventure Zone, since it's my most active special interest right now:

- Angus is autistic

- Magnus is ADHD (that's actually canon babey! Travis said so!) and dyslexic

- Barry is autistic

- Taako is autistic

- Mavis and Mookie are both autistic and ADHD

- Lucas is autistic

- Duck is autistic

- Indrid is autistic

- Sir Fitzroy is autistic

To sum up, *snatches up all the characters in my little neurodivergent hands*

#30daysofautismacceptance #2020 #redinstead #actuallyautistic #nd

[keplercryptids]

Unpopular taz opinion: I’m a fat person and I don’t like fat Taako. Like I’m all for body diversity I would’ve loved myself more if there had been fat rep when I was growing up. But as a fat person it feels like I, and Justin McElroy, who is also kinda chubby, should get the escape of smaller characters. I’m always fat. Can I just be skinny/fit in D&D? And like I respect fat Taako. But Justin said he’s “svelte” and I’m projecting but I feel like we should give him this skinny character. 1/2

That being said I 100% will cosplay fat Taako at some point cause I don’t like fake beards and I can’t grow enough facial hair to be Magnus…. maybe I’ll be duck. 2/2

yeah, you have the right to feel however you want. but Justin’s also said he wishes there were more diversity in stuff like video games so that body types like his could be represented. so i don’t think he necessarily feels the same way. (again, that’s not to say you can’t feel what you feel, but based on things he’s said about representation i don’t think he uses skinny characters as escapism, and thus, i don’t think fat taako is disrespecting him in any way. he’s also said that he supports people drawing taako fat.)

i like fat taako because i think it’s important to challenge “Elven Beauty” (which is almost always a stand-in for western standards of beauty) and make it encompass more body types, hair types, skin colors, disabilities, all kinds of diversity. i think taako in particular is a great vehicle for that kind of exploration/representation since he IS so canonically beautiful and confident in how he looks.

#x me a q #anon #fat taako #fat taakos are holy #body talk #discourse ish

[candyredmuses]

Airam Onirannam

✰   CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN

Do their bra and panties match consistently? Yes | No | Not applicable

Do they wash their makeup off before going to bed? Yes | Sometimes | No | Not applicable

Do they wear socks? Yes | No

What do they usually wear to bed? Nothing | Undergarments | Pajamas |Whatever they were wearing that day | Tomorrow’s clothes

Are they – Fashion over function | Function over fashion

Their clothes are usually… Stained | Raggedy | Like new | Well worn |

✰   FINANCES? LET’S SEE

How do they handle their money? Blows through the entire paycheck | Sets some money aside, spends the rest as needed over time | Holds onto it as long as possible, spending here and there | Lives past their means

How do they handle their bills? Sets aside bill money each cheque | Pays them right away | Pays them last minute | They’re frequently overdue (or not paid at all)

What are they most likely to buy? Food | Clothes | Hobby supplies | Work supplies | Trinkets | Movies | Games (gambling) | Bills | Spend it on others | Charity | Books | Alcohol | Drugs | Technology

✰   AN APPLE A DAY

How often do they get exercise? Frequently, as a hobby | Frequently, from work | Somewhat, from a hobby | Somewhat, from work | Never

Do they drink? Always | Often | Somewhat | On rare occasions | When upset / nervous / emotional / depressed | Never

Do they do drugs of any kind? Addicted | Yes | Sometimes | Recovering Addict | No

Do they smoke? Frequently | Yes | Sometimes | Ex-Smoker | Fights temptations | No

What ailments do they have? Blind | Deaf | Physical handicap | Bipolar | DID | Gender dysphoria | Depression | Anxiety | Learning disability | Asthma | Food allergies | Other allergies | Insomnia | Migraines | Mute | Epilepsy | Malnourishment | Obesity | Hallucinations

✰   EDUCATION MATTERS

What education have they reached? None | Elementary/Primary |Middle/Secondary| High/Tertiary | College, bachelors | College, masters | GDA |Workforce training

Do they frequently learn new skills? Yes | On occasion | Only as needed | Not usually

How do they learn best? Visually | By ear | Hands-on | Logically | Socially | On their own

TAGGED BY : @black-jack-the-cat TAGGING : @shadow-of-fear-and-doubt @a-poisonous-gamble @viennaxmuses @errormused @taakos-troupe-of-threads @powderpuffxinkwell @polaroidxcamera @one-eyed-twin

#ooc #Tag Tag Pass (Tagged Memes)

[miamaroo]

Northern Migration- Chapter 25 (Notes+Preview)

Surprise! I’m updating about a week after my last update! Don’t get used to it, though. It’s only because I’ve been on break. I have classes again tomorrow, and finals seasons is about ready to slap me in the face. Hopefully you’ll see me again for the holidays. (Speaking of the holidays, we’re nearing the one year mark for when this fic first started wowza).

Like always, this is brimming with spoilers, so proceed forwards at your own risk.

Spoilers!

I messed around with that Taako scene for ages, trying to make the first distilled look into his character. I have a lot of trouble writing him, especially since I’m always trying to find a happy mixture of what he’s like in the show, what he’s like in the fanon, and what he would be like in the universe of this fic. I did my best. I’m not one-hundred-percent happy with it, but considering I rewrote the entire scene right before posting, I think it’s functional.

Since the next chapter is already written, I know that I’m going to keep mentioning layers of clothing as being a status of wealth. This is a part of what I plan on doing with the future flashback chapter into their history on their home plane. I feel like I have to mention it so that you get an idea of how the cultures are different, but it’s also annoying because it’s hard for me to convey that this is a cultural aspect that supposed to be different from Faerun.

Apparently, eyeballs help keep the structure of your head. I also did not know that.

Everyone in the TAZ fandom is a coward for not giving Taako a beard, and I’m counting Justin in that. Artists who give him stubble can stay, but you’re all on thin ice.

One thing I’m trying to figure out is a balance between people recognizing Avi in his old age because they know him well, and people not recognizing him because, honestly, I see pictures of my own dad as a young man and he’s a completely different person.

When John says “give your hands now,” it’s a purposeful twist of Merle doing the exact same thing in chapter 5.

I know I said this before—but John’s philosophy is so close to being that of some hero that it’s honestly scary.

As a kid, as I started thinking about perspective and morality, I also realized that a lot of what we considered right or wrong can be manipulated by whose point of view we’re viewing it from. And, as a preteen, I used that as justification for a lot of bad things. A lot of how I’m writing John is just thinking about how someone could’ve manipulated me into thinking or doing anything, and just giving him the opportunity to get Stevie to think that way as well. Like John has no way of knowing about Piper repeating all of her dad’s bad political beliefs (remember Piper and Gansey from chapter 3?), but he gets people. And I think he would know that, in her situation, Stevie would be thinking about morality in a way that would be easily manipulated in his favor.

All that being said: you’re a lot of fun to write John, but fuck you.

I don’t know yet if I want John to be aware of the Seven Birds concept, but in case I do eventually decide that he does, Vultures is a very on the nose confession of what he ultimately wants Stevie to believe. If I decide to make it so that he never knows, then it’s just me (the author) making an on the point piece of foreshadowing of what his plans are going to be.

John is a bard. Fight me.

And here’s a thought: this is the first time in the story where Stevie gets to have fun and it’s not interrupted by plot bullshit.

Originally, Lucas was going to have the weird crush on Avi, and it was going to be something that was going to making Johann feel extra sure about never confessing, but Avi already has so many other shit going on that I had to redistribute some things.

That being said, Sloane and Avi having this bitter history together is very important to me. With Griffin wanting TAZ to be about found family, I sort of wanted to take the opportunity to explore the idea of two people who became family before it was ruined. Basically, since Lucretia didn’t destroyed her family (minus Taako being pissed), I had to destroy another family.

Avi being in debt to someone is the reoccurring theme of his life. He was in debt to the Hammerheads, then Sloane, and now Bane and Barry. This guy constantly owes other people things.

Things that are also very important to me: Ren being fiercely protective of all her friends.

I can’t remember if Merle in canon couldn’t remember if he made a sash or a belt, but I’m taking Clint’s endless confusion over the two as an excuse to make it so.

I was going to write a scene where Davenport discovered that he can’t learn sign language, but I didn’t have the space and beyond just filling in a potential loophole, it didn’t really add more to Davenport. Like, he know he’s suffering. I don’t need to remind you that much.

The same goes for the cutting of a scene where Magnus is helping Julia learn how to walk. Again, there was a space issue and the fact that it wasn’t them actually making it up allowed me to feel like I can get around writing it. That being said, it still hurt to not write it. 

Also, hey! Only two relics left to this story! I still have to write like three more interlude chapters before we can even get cracking on that, but now you can see how much progress we’re actually making in this fic!

This is such a minor detail, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out if I want stoves to be a thing in this world or not. I know that I decided a long time ago that everyone was going to have hearths except for the Starblaster, which was going to be technologically advanced enough to have an actual stove, but there’s not enough cooking in this damn fic to convey that idea. And when it does come up, it’s at Lucas’s lab, which would also be advanced enough to have a stove, but not one as advanced as the Starblaster. AND I CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO EVEN CONVEY THIS IDEA. One time, I thought I could emphasize how almost scared Julia was of the stove, but then I remembered that she has had a decade to get used to it. SO YEAH. I JUST DON’T KNOW.

I know that I have to acknowledge any reasonable feelings Julia would have involving becoming disabled, but I’m also trying to be careful to make sure it doesn’t come off as condescending or pitying towards disabled folks. I’m trying to strike a balance, and I’m never sure how well I’m doing with.

Julia’s prosthetic leg is based upon prosthetic legs used for runners in the Special Olympics. I am going to add a link to a reference here, but it’s late and I might forget. If you noticed that I forgot, tell me and I’ll add it.

Stevie likes snow because it’s snowing in parley. She likes rainbows because the black scars on John’s face is holographic.

Also, Lucretia is gay. She’s like, super duper gay. Supreme gay.

I feel like I put down what color Taako’s magic is somewhere in this fic, but I don’t feel like looking through the entire thing in search of it, so right now I’m just writing around having to state its color for as long as possible.

The item Taako used to make the hole in the floor is the Hole Thrower. Don’t ask me where he got it.

Originally, I had a scene like two chapters back where Taako saw Angus, thus making his comments about seeing a kid around make a lot more sense. However, I convinced myself to get a little sneakier about Angus being on the ship and then proceeded to forget about it. Considering how much effort I usually put into foreshadowing everything (and this is still without a written outline), I’m going to give myself a pass on the bad writing this time around.

Like I mentioned in the chapter notes, I’m off break now and starting finals, so next update will take a long time. Feel free to talk to me on here and generally strike up a friendship. I’m a very lonely person. Anyway, here’s the preview for the next chapter:

Angus McDonald sits with his hands folded calmly on his lap, fancy clothes unruffled as he looks up at the circle of adults surrounding him. It’s plain from the slight quirk in his brow that nothing about being held up in the Starblaster kitchen is by any means threatening. He sits, mouth in a tight line, as he waits for his turn to speak.

“You’re such a drama queen,” Lucretia says dully, pressing a bag of frozen peas to Taako’s face.

He takes it gladly, practically collapsed against the kitchen counter as he moans. Angus’s hardy kick was just enough to make a single drop of blood creep down from his nose. “I’m dying, Lucy. When I go, tell Merle he could fuck off.”

“Whatever I do to you?” Merle demands, turning from his job of standing by Davenport’s side to shout.

Davenport, all the while, has his arms folded over his chest. His eyes are set in a harsh glare that makes Angus shift in his seat. Every adult in the room Angus is pretty sure he can handle, but Davenport is somewhere on the level of a god. Flanking each of his sides is one of the Burnsides, with Magnus in a pair of paint-splattered work clothes and Julia in a chair, her prosthetic leg still in her daughter’s possession. The kid was ordered to leave the room, but Angus saw her creep back in, armed with the prosthetic leg and a set of paints. She claimed the corner directly across from him. Every now and then, Merle and Taako make gestures grand enough that Angus catches a glimpse of the girl watching him as a curious spectator.

Davenport sighs, then nudges Magnus’s leg. At the cue, Magnus bends down into a squat, perfectly leveled with Angus’s eyes. “Angus. What are you doing here?”

“I—” Angus closes his mouth. He shifts until he’s back to the picture of innocence.

“We’re not mad at you,” Magnus says. “It’s just… we do a lot of dangerous things, and I’m sure your job as a consultant is plenty dangerous enough—”

“Detective.”

Magnus pauses. “What?”

Angus preens. “If case you forgot, my name is Angus McDonald and I am the world’s greatest detective. If you’re trying to interrogate me, I suggest that you do your best to ensure that you’re coming in with the most accurate information.”

#The Adventure Zone #taz #taz balance #taz fanfic #taz taako #taz avi #taz sloane #stevie burnsides #john hunger #taz ren #lucas miller #julia burnsides #magnus burnsides #magnulia #taz lucretia #captain davenport #taz merle #angus mcdonald #taz nm #updates #chapter notes

[sanvitheartificer]

this is in progress but... here, have the only publishable story-like thing i’ve written in years?  There's a loud conversation happening when Davenport wakes up. You'd think, at sea, a thousand miles from any settlement, he could get away from being woken up by loud crewmates, but his crew found an object the size of a gnome's fist in a haystack the size of entire planes 69% of the time. Davenport isn't surprised. (He's tired, is what he is. But he doesn't want to think about that.) “Thanks for the lift, Taako.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Never let it be said that Taako never did shit for you, old dwarf!” There's a pause, the familiar sound of a scuffle, (except nothing is familiar but the fog but trying and trying and trying to connect, to grasp anything but his own existence), and then Taako says, “Make sure he's alright, okay, d-Merle?” Davenport staves off annoyance with how sincere Merle sounds, voice soft in a way it isn't so often, when he says, “Yeah, I will. Now get the fuck back to hanging out with your sister, kid! I got enough to do without healing you when you get seasick.” Taako scoffs and disappears with a puff of displaced air.  “Hey, Dav. Haven't seen much of ya recently,” Merle says casually, as Davenport steps onto the deck. “Nice PJs.”  Davenport sighs. “Cut the crap, Merle. We both know why you're here.”  Merle shrugs, admitting it. “Not like you to avoid shit like this,” he says, sipping a beer that's showed up outta nowhere. The sun's still rising. Davenport resists the urge to grab a beer himself. “Think I got a right to as much time as I want.”  Merle snorts. “Right to it or not, you're not helping anyone out here, leasta all yourself, and I think you know it, Cap'n. It's been a coupla weeks. Wanna talk about it?” He doesn't. He doesn't want to prod the aching memories, the whole sections of his mind that were numb, disabled, tingling, now, like an arm he slept on for more than a decade. But, fuck, if that's all it takes they woulda died the first day, because hell if he wanted to abandon his planet; hell if he wanted any of this, any of it at all. But he can't say it, can't think the words, the boat rocking against the waves and the distant cry of a bird call he doesn't recognize and then suddenly his voice is speaking and it's like he's not there, like it just starting working on its own, saying, “i keep thinking,” his mouth feels clumsy, wants to snap back into the only syllables familiar to it, anymore, but he keeps talking, watches the horizon, blue-on-blue, all wrong, “I keep thinking about Lucretia, Merle. How she looked that first day on the base. I knew right away she wasn't gonna be a pilot. Too timid, y'know? Always hiding away behind that notebook. You remember the stories I told ya? She flew the test plane right into a cliff, trying to cross-reference the right way to park it in flight. Pan! Can't even believe how much that girl studied.When she left the program I almost couldn't bear it. Even then, you know, she was somethin' special. She was...” he doesn't think it, can't, anymore, “and then she was gone, the whole crew was, it was a hundred years but her...” “sometimes I think what left me,” his voice breaks, “what left me like that, I think it was her. Not... not the IPRE or the century of memories or Wyvern Spire or my siblings, just her, losing Lucretia, losing my d--” he's crying, then, big, heaving sobs, and Merle pats his back with a wooden arm he still hasn't heard the story about except he did, once, in a haze so deep the concept of arms was too difficult to grasp. He's crying, and he hasn't cried like this in years, in decades. Maybe it's been centuries, since he let himself mourn everything he's lost. (When he wakes up, there is no loud conversation, but just the waves, the sensation of Merle stroking his hair. He misses them. He can't stop missing them.)

#taz fic #i wrote this #taz #taz spoilers #merle #lucretia #davenport #taako tangentially #angst #lucretia and davenport #headcanon: lucretia first applies to the ipre as a pilot bc she has controlling semi abusive parents #but then comes back as a chronicaller once she's had time to get away from them #aro merle #qpp merle and davenport #i will continue this

[brightandshinynewstories]

Feather Fall: Chapter One

First chapter of the Maximum Ride au is up! This is 1) the first time I’ve attempted fic with multiple chapters and 2) the first time in years that I’ve even thought about Maximum Ride.

Edit: added a read more because I didn’t realize messing around with it on mobile would remove it. Also added warnings because I forgot the first time around.

(Warnings for implied death, injury, general danger, and cursing)

Ever since they escaped from the whitecoats two years ago, Lup, Taako, Magnus, and Lucretia haven’t stopped running. Unfortunately, their past is starting to catch up to them, and hiding may no longer be an option.

Smoke billowed into the moonlit sky above the ridge, casting strange shadows on the buildings below. The far side of the complex burned, a mysterious break in the system preventing the fire suppression system from kicking in. People milled around in confusion, some of them screaming and pointing, others trying to put as much distance between themselves and the fire as possible. A change in the wind blew smoke back across the complex, creating further chaos. Security doors that should have been closed off admitted the creeping flames into the rest of the buildings, and other sounds joined the screaming, shrieks and howls that were certainly not human. A few shapes raced for the edge of the complex, and were abruptly stopped when a ring of pylons surrounding the valley snapped to life, sending arcs of blue electricity between them and tingeing the smoke-filled air with the smell of cooked meat.

Far above the chaos, a pair of small shapes circled briefly, before peeling away towards the ridge.

“Not to, uh, overstate or anything,” Lup said, her voice roughened by smoke, “But I think we kinda…crushed it.”

Lup woke up with smoke still burning at the back of her throat. She slowly smiled up at the ceiling, savoring the memory of seeing that nightmare from her childhood go up in flames. Sometimes the dream was worse, much worse, but she could definitely live with reliving those few moments right before everything went wrong and right after it looked like they would fail. Two years of consequences for that night, she definitely felt she was owed a few good dreams.

Weirdly enough, the smoke smell wasn’t going away. In fact, it seemed like it was getting stronger.

Lup lunged out of bed, smacked her shin on one of the camping cots squeezed into the tiny room, swore loudly, and dashed towards the kitchen. She got there just in time to see Taako, somehow already dressed and with his hair in a long braid, smothering a pan with a soaked dish towel over the sink while Magnus tried to fan smoke out of the tiny kitchen window, frantically repeating “crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap!“ It didn’t look like anything was in immediate danger of catching on fire, so Lup let herself relax and leaned her hip against the counter.

“So I guess we’re having cereal for breakfast?” she said lightly. Taako snorted as he examined the remains of what had probably been really excellent eggs and bacon.

“You know we’ve been out of cereal for days, right? This was kinda sorta everything we had left,” Magnus said. He glanced at the silent fire alarm on the ceiling. “Should we be worried that that thing didn’t go off at all?”

Lup, who had disabled the alarm months ago so that she and Taako could cook without interruption, quickly said “Nope.” She pushed off the counter and went to stare over her brother’s shoulder at the gloopy mess that was their breakfast. “I’m guessing none of this was done on purpose?” The bacon at least looked salvageable, but the eggs were clearly a lost cause.

“Nah, we thought it would be fun to make the house even more of a health hazard,” Taako said.

“Cool.” She frowned. “We’re not really completely out of food, are we?”

“We still have plenty of jerky and Magnus’s hard candy,” someone called from across the room. Lup craned her neck and spotted Lucretia curled up on the sofa in the living room. She had a journal open in front of her, the page already half full of what Lup knew would be tiny, neat shorthand. “I think we can make a trip into town today,” she added, looking up. Her pen continued to scratch confidently across the page as she said, “It’s still pretty cold out, and we have a few days before anyone comes to check on the cabins.” Lup believed her. Lucretia may have only gotten a quick look at the cabin’s rental schedule months ago, but she kept excellent records and never forgot something she wanted to remember.

Magnus stopped trying to fan smoke out the window with his hands. “I vote for getting more food. And for leaving before the cabin people show up.”

“We have a few days,” Lucretia repeated. “You’re right though, we should go into town before we absolutely have to leave.” She closed her journal and sat up. “I could stay here and start cleaning up.”

Taako shook his head as he fished the last of the bacon out of the pan onto a plate, which he immediately whipped out of Magnus’s reach. “You can do whatever you want Luce, but it’s been months since we got here. I really doubt that we can get everything cleaned up in just a few days.” Everyone paused for a second to look at the mess that had accumulated out of view of the windows. Dishes were piled next to the narrow doorway into the kitchen, the twins had discarded bits of interesting sparkly things all around the room, garbage bags that none of them had gotten around to taking to the dumpster in town had been shoved under the kitchen table, and no one had made any attempt to keep the area of the front door clean, so there was a broad swath of dried mud leading into the house. That wasn’t even getting into the state of the one tiny bathroom and bedroom. They’d had the cabin to themselves all winter, and it showed.

Lucretia eyed the mess cautiously, obviously daunted. “We should do something about all this. What if we leave something behind?”

“Like what?” Magnus asked, making a grab for the plate of bacon. Taako noticed and quickly switched the plate to his other hand, nearly smacking Lup in the face. She yelped and smacked him back, the matter at hand briefly forgotten. Magnus stumbled back out of their way, a couple strips of bacon clenched triumphantly in his fist, while Lup tried to smack Taako again and Taako tried to keep the remainder of their breakfast from going flying across the kitchen.

“I made you breakfast!” Taako yelled in protest. He managed to squeeze around Magnus and made a weird little two-step dash into the living room, where he sat down next to Lucretia and offered her the plate of bacon.

“You burned breakfast,” Lup retorted.

“It was Magnus’s fault!”

“Hey!”

“Guys,” Lucretia said pleadingly. She accepted a piece of bacon from Taako, who pointedly glared at Lup. “We have to decide what we’re going to do.”

Lup pursed her lips. Lucretia was right, of course. The cabin had served them well all winter, but it wasn’t going to be safe for much longer. A few days might be too generous, especially since it had been getting steadily warmer over the past couple weeks. The problem was that if they left right now they’d still be too visible. Magnus could pass as an adult in a pinch, but the rest of them looked too young to be convincing. During the summer it wasn’t such a big deal- they’d dress in shorts and flip flops and chatter loudly at each other and most people would just roll their eyes and not even notice that Lup and Taako were wearing hoodies in the middle of summer. Anyone who saw them now would wonder why they weren’t in school, or notice that while Lup and Taako positively gleamed with brightly colored clothing and jewelry, they still looked a bit too ragged for kids with homes and parents. Add Lucretia and Magnus into that mix, and the whole situation was getting a little too obvious for Lup’s comfort.

So they couldn’t leave, and they couldn’t stay. Great.

“Look, we don't have to go anywhere yet,” she said at last. “I say we get ready to go, but don't leave until we have to.”

Lucretia made a vague gesture towards the trash bags under the table. “What about-?”

“If someone finds this place they won't need the mess to track us,” Magnus said. He'd polished off both pieces of bacon and was licking grease off his hands. “We've been here for three months. Anyone who really wanted to find us could.”

“Ok, so no cleanup. We still need food,” Taako pointed out. “If we're not staying long anyway, I say Lup and I should go into town, see what the grocery store can do for us.”

Magnus glanced at Lucretia, who shrugged and nodded. “I guess I’ll stay here with Lucretia,” he said.

“You sure?” Lup asked.

“Yeah. Safety first, right? Buddy system.” He grinned. “Don’t worry, I’ll help Lucretia get packed up. We’ll be ready to go when you get back.”

Taako only realized how late in the morning it was when he and Lup got outside. The cabin was deep enough in the woods that it didn’t usually get much sun, but right now the front porch was bathed in daylight slanting beautifically through the tall dark trees. It was very pretty, and Taako was very sick of it. The security of having a roof over his head was starting to war with the feeling that if they stayed much longer something would go wrong. Which, fair enough, everyone else seemed to be picking up on too. It sucked thinking about it, so for the most part they avoided talking about it.

It didn’t help that as far as places to stay went, this one wasn’t bad. Sure it was tiny, but they had a bathroom and kitchen. Taako sighed and swung his backpack by the strap. He was going to miss that kitchen.

About a hundred feet from the cabin, the trees thinned out into a gravel-filled clearing with a firepit and paths leading to half a dozen other cabins. Birdsong in the background gave the whole scene an eerily peaceful feeling, as if he and Lup were trespassing somewhere people weren’t meant to be.

Lup walked into the very middle of the clearing and stretched tall, her satchel dangling from one hand. A pair of black and white wings spread wide, catching the sunlight to show off flashes of dark green iridescence. She shook out the feathers, scattering some loose fluff, before relaxing and folding them back down against her back. “I want to fly down today,” she announced with a bright smile.

“Sure,” Taako agreed. After all, the alternative was walking. He put his backpack on so it hung in front and carefully worked his wings through the long slits in his jacket. It actually felt nice to stretch them out, since the last time he’d flown anywhere was...crap. Too long. Lup surged upward and Taako followed, wincing as his joints popped. About three months too long.

Rising above the big broccoli-shaped trees gave them an impressive view of the surrounding forest, which stretched up behind them into a series of rolling mountains. In front the trees continued down until they abruptly hit farmland and turned into an interesting patchwork of cornfields and pasture. Taako flew higher, angling to find the right road before leveling off and soaring towards civilization.

It would have taken the better part of an hour to reach town on foot, mostly because of how the road wound back and forth across the mountainside. By wing, it took about fifteen minutes. Actually, calling it a town was probably too generous, since it was one street with a gas station, a tiny grocery store probably intended for campers driving up the mountain, and a laundromat. Magnus had scoped everything out when they first arrived and assured them that it was unlikely that anyone would notice four teenagers as long as they spaced out their visits.

Lup landed first, setting down behind the grocery store and quickly looking around for anyone who might have spotted her. At the all-clear signal Taako dropped down as well, and the two of them strolled around to the front of the building. A bit of paranoia made Taako pause for a second and glance up and down the street. There were a couple of cars parked at the laundromat, but other than that it looked deserted. He shook off his unease and plastered a big, cheerful smile on his face. Lup glanced at him and mimicked his grin before pushing open the door and walking in. The cashier didn’t really look up, just gave them a sort of sideways glance and a half-hearted smile.

The good news was that this wasn’t a fancy expensive specialty grocery store, just a quick stop for people who needed cereal or milk or whatever. The better news was that there was a pretty substantial section of the store devoted to non-perishable food. Lup grabbed a shopping basket and they started wandering the aisles.

“I've been thinking,” Taako started, once they were out of earshot of the cashier “that we really need a better mode of travel.”

“If you want to get murdered for hitchhiking, that is absolutely your prerogative,” Lup said lightly.

Taako rolled his eyes and deftly transferred a packet of beef jerky into his jacket pocket. “I meant that we don't have any way to communicate with our uh, ground team, and I know you hate having to split up.”

Lup paused by a display of crackers, giving Taako time to grab a couple boxes of protein bars which promptly vanished into his backpack. They’d done this enough to know how to draw the least attention, but the store was so deserted Taako doubted he needed to be concerned. The next aisle turned out to be mostly cold medicine and vitamins, which led to a brief flurry of activity as Lup helped him stuff his backpack and her satchel with the little bottles. None of them wanted to get scurvy, and the sealed bottles tended to last longer than most food, although Taako quietly dreaded the day when they’d have to live off of vitamins.

The next aisle was camping gear. Matches, a bottle of lighter fluid, and a couple rolls of duct tape went into Lup’s bag. “I guess we could get walkie-talkies or something.” She didn’t suggest cell phones. They both remembered what happened last time.

“I was thinking more along the lines of like, a car,” Taako admitted. It wasn’t, admittedly, a smart thought, but the idea of not having to separate from Magnus and Lucretia was appealing.

“You want to steal a car?” Lup said, brightening. “I could totally hotwire a car. Or-” she frowned, “maybe not. Magnus might know how.”

Taako snickered. “Sure, I bet Maggie’d love that…” He trailed off. Something wasn’t right.

A hand landed heavily on his shoulder and a very pleasant voice said, “You kids know shoplifting is illegal, right?”

Taako froze. He knew it was an Eraser without looking. He’d recognize that tone of voice anywhere. It was the kind of tone that said “You’re in trouble and I’m going to hurt you for it.” Two sharp points poked his neck and he risked a glance at Lup. She was frozen too, but her hand was halfway to her pocket. “None of that now,” the Eraser said, still pleasant, still calm, but with his claws digging into Taako’s neck. “The doctors want you two back undamaged, but they’d settle for only one.” Lup shuddered and slowly lowered her hand to her side.

Another Eraser came around the corner, all bright smiles as he reached for Lup’s satchel. Taako could tell she was trying to convey fuck you without moving her face. The Eraser holding him grabbed Taako’s backpack and pulled it away without easing his grip.

Taako closed his eyes, prayed that Lup would run in the right direction, and slammed the edges of his now unencumbered wings upward into the Eraser’s face. A line of pain followed the Eraser’s claws as Taako pulled free and started running towards the back of the store. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lup duck and charge past the other Eraser, her hand disappearing into the pocket of her hoodie for just a second. He heard rather than saw the Erasers start to lunge.

There was a noise like phweeee! and a series of pops, and everything was suddenly very bright and very loud. Taako reached the door to the back room and slammed it open, Lup on his heels, and kept running without checking to see whether she’d actually set the store on fire.

The back room was a dark maze of shelves, but Taako had too much momentum to stop. Door, door, where’s the- there! This one was heavier than the other one, which might have been why the Eraser on the other side didn’t quite manage to take Taako’s head off. Claws passed inches in front of his nose and then the Eraser was inside. This one obviously didn’t have any concerns about being seen- he was fully transformed, complete with drool dripping off his teeth.

Taako backpedaled fast, grabbing Lup by the hand on the way back and pulling her around a shelf and under a table shoved into the corner. It wouldn’t be long before the two Erasers still in the store figured out where they’d gone, something the Eraser in the room with them seemed well aware of. He didn’t even bother following them further, just stood in front of the only way out and grinned.

“You don’t have another bomb handy, do you?” Taako asked out of the side of his mouth.

“Would have used it if I did,” Lup whispered back. Ok, great. The door they’d come through swung open and the other two Erasers entered. “I think they’re mad at me,” she muttered. The pair actually looked more disoriented than pissed off. One of them, Taako noted with frustration, was clutching his backpack by the strap. “Should we try to rush them?”

“Absolutely not,” Taako replied. There had to be something else they could do. From this position he could see that the room they were in was mostly storage, although he and Lup seemed to be hiding in the employee break area. Shelves blocked his view of the exit to the outside, which at least meant the Eraser in that direction probably couldn’t see them either, not that it mattered much. One Eraser at each door, one to search the room.

They were so dead.

If he could just get into his backpack, he could do something, unless…. This was a storage space, which probably meant cleaning supplies too. Probably bleach and vinegar at least, which definitely was not Taako’s first choice, but what choice did they have at this point?

Lup poked him in the arm and held up the bottle of lighter fluid. Taako looked at her as if she were crazy- which she definitely was, because a flashbang was one thing but setting the literal actual building on fire was something else entirely. She raised an eyebrow and Taako quickly weighed the odds of them dying via fire against them dying via chlorine gas. An Eraser growled somewhere in the room, causing the hairs on the back of Taako’s neck to stand up. He gave Lup a nod.

She grinned and pulled out a metal skewer and a couple of matches from her bag. Turning the bottle on its side she quickly poked a few holes in it, blocking the one on the underside with her finger. She hesitated for a second with her head cocked to one side, listening, then took a breath and sent the bottle skittering across the floor, leaving a trail of lighter fluid in its wake. “Move,” she whispered. Taako nodded, braced himself, and started creeping along the wall. He could see the exit now, with the Eraser standing guard. All he’d have to do was look to his right…

Lup touched his shoulder and he swallowed. Right. Ok. He reached back and squeezed her hand twice.

The lighter fluid went up like a dream. One of the Erasers screamed. Taako savagedly hoped he’d been set on fire. The door guard moved away, just a few steps, but it was enough for the twins to race by out into the open air. Taako’d been worried about more Erasers in the parking lot, but it seemed like the three in the store were the only ones.

Lup was already beating her wings hard as she ran, heedless of anyone who might see, and Taako hurried to catch up. They took to the sky as the fire alarms went off and the Erasers ran out. Taako noticed the cashier running out of the front, but no other employees. Then there wasn’t any more time for looking back as he and Lup gained height and started flying fast away from the little town.

A/N: wow, I actually wrote the thing. I wanted to keep the story beats similar to what I remember from the first Maximum Ride book, but the story might end up deviating quite a bit. Full disclosure: I haven’t read the book in years, and given how the series ended up going, I don’t intend to follow it that closely. Next chapter we’ll find out what happened to Magnus and Lucretia, as well as a bit more about why the plot started happening now. Let me know what you think!

#duckdays2018 #taz #fic: feather fall #my fic

[nerdychatterbox]

TAZ Notes - Ep 8 - Moonlighting

(I’m going through TAZ Balance for the third time, and I’m taking notes. Will contain spoilers) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Can our adventurers survive a most treacherous job interview? I see myself in five years in… The Adventure Zone!” ME TOO, BABY!! Griffin’s tongue-tripping – it’s not near as bad as he seems to think, but his little spiral over it is both adorable and sad, but mostly adorable… Davenport, speaking non-name words. I always forget this was retconned. The director’s name being classified is interesting. Had Griffin already decided about the seven birds at this point? One could argue yes, thinking that learning her name might cause some memory or issue, but what would that mean about the Davenport part? I think he just did not have a name for her yet and thought this would make her seem more regal to not be addressed so familiarly.  Lucretia describes herself as mid 50s Taako describing the gauntlet: “It makes ouchies!” “That’s one spicy meatball!” “Oh that dipshit said spicy, what’s up, counting it!” “Noooooo!!” “Ohhhh!” “And he said meat!” “I’m going to have to invent a different monster that erases memories so I can take some of your taco experience away!” I wonder if, in a backward and silly way, this is where he got the idea for the second voidfish… More retcon: they ask Lucretia if she knows anything about the umbrella, and she calmly says no and refers them to the artificer. Surely she would have recognized Lup’s Umbrastaff, and had she known that, she would have found a way to take it away from them, right? I have to assume that means Griffin had not yet devised that particular part of the story. Lucretia: “The Phoenix Fire Gauntlet is an extremely powerful magic item. It is a weapon that was created by a band of wizards and warlocks and other magic users who refused to limit themselves, they refused to reign in their experimentation. And that resulted in the creation of what we call the Grand Relics. There are 7 of them in the world; this is the first; we’ve searched for so long, our sole purpose is to find these relics.”

(Taako’s interruption, clarifying that they did JACK SHIT before these good, good boys showed up)

 BOB in operation less than a year, had to first “discover the void fish” Celeb ref: The Reclaimers

 Initiation: I actually don’t even like this part, and aside from the slow-ripping-off of the robot arms, I never remember a damn thing about it.

 “Her voice is dripping with gravitas.”

“And sexuality.”

“Nope, just gravitias.”

“Eh, a little bit of sexuality.”

“Well, if that’s your thing, sure, if gravitas gets you totally boned, awesome, but I don’t necessarily need to hear about that.”

 During the initiation, at around 52 minutes

Griffin: “Taako you are up next.”

Clint, doing horrible Taako impersonation: “Well, I don’t know what I’m going to do right now… um, let me see…”

Griffin and Travis, simultaneously: “Did Justin leave the room?”

Clint: “Well… (back to his own voice) yes… (clears throat) sorry, that was my Taako impression.”

Griffin: “Not bad.”

 I lost count, but I think Travis has said the word “hunker” approximately 23 times…

 The moment where Travis decides to rip off the robot arms, at 57:25 (where Taako sings)

Travis: “I want to disable its hands without disabling the whole automaton.”

Justin: “You want to disable its hands without disabling its heart!”

Griffin: “You’re going to try and rip this thing’s arms off, essentially.”

T: “Yes.”

G: “OK, that’s a strength contest, this thing’s going to resist HAVING ITS GODDAMN ARMS RIPPED OFF!”

A 6 vs a 7

G: “You just barely beat him in a strength contest, which means you very, very slowly tear his arms off.”

T: “While looking into his cold, dead robot eyes.”

G: “What are you gonna do with his arms?”

J: “What ARE you gonna do with his arms?!”

T: “I throw them back down the hallway.”

J: “Is there another robot seeing this?”

G: “Taako, you’re up next.”

J: “I, like, can’t take an action, cuz I’ve just been watching this thing unfold, like, ‘whu? I thought I knew him!’ “

 Seriously, Travis just can’t stop saying “hunker”…

 Totally forgot that this initiation fight thing ends because the Umbrastaff is just vibrating and warming up his pack. Like, Lup is just in there going, “LET ME AT EM, and also, hey, you suck at this, bro”

 Lucretia: “That was quite an unconventional way of doing that. I particularly liked when you ripped the arms off that poor, helpless robot. But congratulations, you have passed the test of initiation.”

#taz #taz balance #the adventure zone #podcast #good good boys #mcelroys

[arodrwho]

more davenport hcs......

loves he a uniform

has a little magicky box beside his bed that whirs while he sleeps & blocks out all the other moonbase sounds

(had no such thing aboard the starblaster. wasn’t safe.)

(had one at some point pre-starblaster though)

wanders a lot

sometimes because he feels vaguely restless (this happens most often in his downtime, when there’s no work to be done)

but sometimes because it’s just nice to be moving

frequently frustrated, but refuses to show it

after candlenights, can’t eat macaroons without feeling angry

after story and song, doesn’t eat them for a very long time

(i think taako offers, once)

(i think davenport declines)

(i don’t think taako realizes why. i don’t think that bit of candlenights was anywhere near as memorable for him as it was for davenport)

has frequent insomnia

(the little magicky box helps, some, but he still lies awake for hours more often than not)

likes soft things

devotes himself as utterly to the bob as he did to the ipre

used to have complicated feelings about the voidfish, before his first innoculation (curiosity, frustration, anger, longing, sometimes dread--and all of those because he couldn’t understand it [which made being around it unpleasant, to say the least]) (and simultaneously also because he knew it existed, knew it was important, and had pieced together more or less what it could do [give information]--and knew that the director hadn’t seen fit to let him have that information, and didn’t know why)

(had several theories)

(she didn’t trust him. she thought he couldn’t handle it. she was hiding something. she was just waiting for something and then she’d do it. she was never going to innoculate him at all. she’d forgotten. she’d never thought to do it in the first place. all of those things were because he was disabled. none of them were. some of them were. there were other reasons entirely and he just hadn’t thought of them.)

after his first innoculation, didn’t feel anything like as intensely about the voidfish

there was some gratitude for the clarity it’d given him (clearing up ten-odd years of chronic headaches and confusion and static, revealing countless conversations he’d overheard and been unable to comprehend, and charts he’d seen and symbols and people and--)

there was some guilt for the misdirected anger

there was some appreciation for its beauty

there was some curiosity for how, exactly, it did what it did

but beyond that, it was a fish. there was no reason to think or feel so much about it anymore

(after his first innoculation--which is so overwhelming it takes a full week to recover from--he understands why the director refused to innoculate him for so long. she had known, or suspected, how painful it would be for him in particular, having been part of the bureau for so long, having so much more to remember than anyone else. and as for why she hadn’t innoculated him early on, like everyone else that’d eventually joined--well. that he’d been right about, he supposed. she just hadn’t trusted him, and hadn’t trusted him, and hadn’t trusted him [in itself probably not personal; it had been so long before she’d trusted anyone; he’d just had the bad luck of being the first one she kept around before deciding others could be trusted]--and then felt it’d been too long, was too late to try.)

has. a sweet tooth

also a certain (if maybe somewhat distant) fondness for angus

(might, possibly, see a bit of himself in the boy’s curiosity, his devotion to his job, his wiggly hands) (and in the way people talk to him, the way they laugh at him, the way they pat his head and call him sweet)

angus has a similar reaction to davenport, that whole sort of distant recognition

they don’t bond, particularly (at least not pre-story and song), but do notice each other (and notice each other noticing)

davenport hums, sometimes

(humming is usually easier than words, and it’s nice besides)

doesn’t particularly like shoes, but wears them anyway

is always careful to remember people’s names

appreciates the small things, always

(the crunch of leaves underfoot, the shine of frost on grass, the crisp edges of fresh-filed paperwork, the weight of a stone in a pocket, the startled, delighted pause after a clever joke, the breadth of the stars in the sky...)

#daypost #food cw #no i haven't given myself more emotions abt davenport idk what ur talkin #davenport #taz balance

[dungeonsanddragonsfifthedition]

tazchat: penny widmore syndrome

THE CHALICE: Wow, you guys fucked up so bad. Just, like, so, so, so bad. TRES HORNY BOYS: Oh word? Let’s talk about Barry Bluejeans for five fucking minutes for no reason.

—Time To Fucking Die —“the chalice” is maybe my favorite musical piece in the show (i really like the chalice/disrobed leitmotif in general lol) —so. let’s go, boy by boy.

MERLE: —SO CUTE HOW EVERYONE BUT CLINT REALIZES THAT MERLE IS GAY —i really like the holodeck comparison lol —“this was not the first quest.” —“terrible home life.” —so cute how EVERYONE but clint realizes that merle is gay —we were beach dwarves. we lived on the beach. —horrible catering at merle’s wedding oh geez —FUCK YEAH DUDE LET’S GET INTO IT. unbroken static!! fuck yeah!!! —you hear this sentiment of “when things are good, it’s easy to worship pan,” during parley, right? i forget tbqh —Moody Teen On A Hippie Commune Merle and like i hate to say it because that’s my fucking mom’s story —Merle Highchurch’s Fairly Charmed Life is my favorite fantasy sitcom —oh wow it’s kravitz “dumb gay bitch” kravitz back at it again at krispy kreme. i love him —Oh Geez Big Disabled Mood at the end huh

TAAKO: —I FORGOT ABOUT THE OPENING OF THIS ONE FUCK —LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! LUP! SHE’S COMING! SHE’S IMPLIED SOON! —taako was canonically a young adult during tsc, i guess? which i think we all assumed —been on his own since he was about twelve :’) —This Is Probably Retconned But Taako Maybe Just Forgot All About Magic After The Forgetting —“there’s something about of the memory that’s a little bit off [...] something is missing.” i just wanna talk griffin. —i remember i relistened to eleventh hour when reunion tour was happening, and i was kinda doubtful about the twin theory until that. and then i knew, like, oh. yeah. stan pines two babey —i think it was max who said it but griffin pronounces it “folx” which is So Silly —taako just fucking talks the whole time gay icon —“he thought i hung the moon,” taako may have speedran enemies to lovers but goddamn he also speedran lovers to enemies. he was right when he said he was multidimensional —“this is mostly a merch thing” —he thinks about it every day —“some small relief—“ —“in actuality, it was still plain ol’ jealousy.” —“we ran. we just drove, and drove. [...] and he abandoned me.” —But we’re not there yet.

MAGNUS: —bye —he emphasizes the size of the century here. —“you’re all missing time? like—a lot of it.” —tsc was twelve years ago. so lucretia was eighteen (based on griffin saying that she’s fifty in tsg), and magnus was twenty, and i’d like to die. —not a hero—but a protector. —buppy —look at the sky, bud, scrawny boy —travis is already choked up lol —the happiest years of your life —griffin who made travis scrap the backstory is sad that it took so long —I Named My Fish After Him —“yeah, that’s a dude who could swing a hammer.” —magnus has 3 dads —griffin’s description of rr is SO DOPE like i love this idea of a town in the sky in the mountains it’s very pokémonesque —magnus said fuck government —“he didn’t wanna be a hero.” —“his FUCKING rustic hospitality.” —ONLY THREE MONTHS???? —that dude fuckin saved the town so i GOTS to get a coffee table —and enter julia, and enter Bee’s Penny Widmore Affliction —JESUS, DUDE —THIS CHAIR SMELLS LIKE GRANDMAS, antagonizing you kinda playfully —“that’s just the way things... go sometimes,” as a prelude for “not all exits.” —WHAT DID HE SAY? —you earned this happy ending /because this is the ending you earned. (cinematic parallels?)

ALL TOGETHER NOW: —skipping thru the ads but i landed on “after travis and i have our babies” oh my gosh :’) —next ep is all together and i’m ready —Oh Geez I Want That Darkest Timeline Shit So Bad —travis just lets out a long sigh —it’s not what julia would want —i don’t really do regrets. that’s a merle pearl for you. —Taako Is Repressed —“this vision was chill as hell?” —“it was a very explosive beginning.” —NOELLE —griffin just talkin bout barry so casually i love it —WE’VE HAD SOME LAUGHS, FELLAS —we gotta keep movin forward toward the good, not lookin back at the bad —“listen, i didn’t take this to fix something that was HALF my fault, you think i’m gonna do it for something that’s a THIRD at best” —“can we get barry a robot body?” —“absolute, and vicious, and FAST.” —god this episode just fucks me up every time. i’m a sucker for a flashback, you know? all of this to say, ABC LOST AND TAZBAL ARE THE SAME SHOW

#libra season

[ragsliveblogs]

Lucas: [crosstalk] Aw, no, I thought it was-- I thought it was cute. Anyway, um, he ran off-- he got into a little scuffle with his sister, and he bumped his head, and I think it disabled the inhibitor chip, and he had a freak-out. And he-- he ran off and escaped, and all I can think is that when you charmed him, somehow the wires got crossed in his brain? As it turns out, if you, like, inhibit all the aggression in a bugbear, they’re actually very sweet. Um, and so I that think he’s a bit on the fritz, Taako. Taako: Oh, right! Yeah, okay, now I remember-- I charmed him the first time we met him, to turn him into like, Kelsey Grammer? Lucas: I think the odds are actually pretty good that he’s, maybe gonna be charmed by you forever, kind of like... on and off.

Or the mystery is kind of solved?  Not a perfect answer since we don’t know what flips the switch, but maybe we’ll still get an answer to it.  Maybe its when he sees blood or sneezes.

#TAZ #TAZ Liveblog #Liveblog #ragsliveblogs #The Crystal Kingdom #Episode 33 #dangan ronpa spoilers

[forgottentazfacts]

hey, is it ever explained why is Klarg still charmed by Taaco? And if yes, when? Thank you for your hard work!!!~~~~

It is explained! In episode 33, at time: 22:31, the Boys meet the Hugbears ( a family of bugbears that have been working as Lucas’ “servants”) and ask for details from Lucas.

Magnus: Hey Lucas? Can you hear me? Come in, Lucas–

Lucas: Yeah. Yeah, okay, I guess you’ve sorta found out about one of my less ethical sort of experiments. Um…

Magnus: It sounds fine. They seem great.

Taako: [crosstalk] Yeah, they’re really sweethearts.

Lucas: No, they really are– they’re great– they have these, um– these inhibitors– these inhibitor chips, in their brains, that I… I was trying to come up with a way to like, have people that would do some help for me around the lab.

Magnus: [crosstalk] Ohhhh.

Lucas: But also protect the lab from attackers, so I…

Merle: Slavery, right?

Lucas: Well, [sighs] I guess, kind of, yeah a little bit, but they– I mean, they seem genuinely happy, and y’know, they didn’t like being… all violent–

Magnus: [crosstalk] So this is why we couldn’t charm Klaarg again.

Lucas: Yeah I saw, I watched what you guys did with Klaarg– when I watched you on the races, and when I saw him pop up, I was a little bit surprised– I gotta know, what did you guys do to him down there?

Merle: [slowly] We charmed him.

Magnus: He’s our buddy.

Lucas: You used, like a charm spell on him? Klaarg, or as he was known here, Daniel Butler– he was my butler– he, um–

Magnus: Lucas, you gotta get better at that. C’mon. A little subtlety.

Lucas: [crosstalk] Aw, no, I thought it was– I thought it was cute. Anyway, um, he ran off– he got into a little scuffle with his sister, and he bumped his head, and I think it disabled the inhibitor chip, and he had a freak-out. And he– he ran off and escaped, and all I can think is that when you charmed him, somehow the wires got crossed in his brain? As it turns out, if you, like, inhibit all the aggression in a bugbear, they’re actually very sweet. Um, and so I that think he’s a bit on the fritz, Taako.

Taako: Oh, right! Yeah, okay, now I remember– I charmed him the first time we met him, to turn him into like, Kelsey Grammer?

Magnus: Mhm.

Lucas: I think the odds are actually pretty good that he’s, maybe gonna be charmed by you forever, kind of like… on and off.

You see, what it is is that Klaag’s inhibitor chip glitched out, which made him act more like a brutish bugbear than a butler, and when Taako used his Charm Person spell on Klaarg, it ended up sort of making the inhibitor chip work periodically, and pointedly for Taako.

I probably explained that horribly, but it is what it is. Long story short; broken technology + magic = semi-permanent butler friend hugbear.

#The Adventure Zone #taz #here there be gerblins #petals to the metal #the crystal kingdom #Episode 33 #arc 4 chapter 5 #klaarg #lucas miller #taako #the adventure zone spoilers #taz spoilers #anonymous #Anon #long post

[nautilusing]

hey Ep. 67 fucked me up here’s why:

“One particularly poetic title some use is The Day of the Unseen Invasion.  Though, I take umbrage with that one.”  OKAY WHAT IS THIS ‘I’ STUFF????  HE USES ‘WE’ AT THE END LATER, TOO, IS THE NARRATOR AN ACTUAL CHARACTER???  DO WE KNOW THEM???  like before this ep I thought it was just Griffin himself but the specific use of that word and the way it sounds like this is someone recounting these events from some point in the future is weird right??? I’m trying to think of who it could be otherwise if it’s not Griff.  like, what if it’s John?  or Istus?  WHAT IF IT’S GROWN-UP ANGUS?????????  OH MY GOD WAIT NOW I NEED IT TO BE GROWN-UP ANGUS.  TELLING THEIR STORYYYYYYY.  OH MY GOD GUYSSSSSSSS I NEED IT SO BAD

Kravitz is gonna bring back all the baddies to join the fight against the Hunger and I’ve NEVER BEEN MORE HERE FOR ANYTHING IN MY LIFE LIKE SUICIDE SQUAD FUCKING WHO???  TAZ did it better and it’s not even recorded yet bye

(also I just really need to see Magic Brian again PLS GRIFFIN)

REFUGE TRAVELING EAST ‘TO THE TIME AND PLACE THEY WERE REQUIRED’ THESE LAST EPISODES ARE JUST GONNA BE ONE BIG REUNION AREN’T THEY I’M ALREADY CRYING

‘the outright panic in the bustling cities in the Plane of Thought’ made me lol bc isn’t that our plane?  don’t call me out like this Griffin

Carey nervously kissing Killian’s forehead over and over again as she’s helping her bandage her arm TEAM SWEET FLIPS GOT ME FUCKED UP they’re so cute help I’m dying

“Ten... nine...” “Taako, I know you’re upset--” “Eight.”  “Listen--” “Seven.”  “Please, listen to me, please--” “Six.”

Taako’s flat, “I don’t care anymore.”

ANGUS BEGGING THEM NOT TO GO JUST MAGIC MISSILE ME IT WOULD HURT LESS

“Listen, running away?  That’s not how we do things here in the fuckin’ B.O.B.”  hey Carey???  is the best????

MY BB ANGO WITH HIS LIL’ WAND NODDING AT TAAKO ALL READY TO FIGHT MY BEAUTIFUL MAGIC BOY I’M SO PROUD

Taako has 20 Intelligence now and I wasn’t expecting to get Emotional about that BUT LIKE ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS “I’M JUST A SIMPLE IDIOT WIZARD” AND ALL HIS DIGS AT HIMSELF AND NOW HE REMEMBERS WHO HE IS AND TRAINING WITH LUP AND BEING BRILLIANT AND CAPABLE AND I DUNNO I’M KINDA CRYING ABOUT IT A LITTLE???  started at the bottom now we here baby

“I am going to jump onto the back of the rhinoceros.”  “Of course you are.”

I can’t.......... believe........ he hurt............ my boy.............

GRIFFIN YOU HURT MY BOY

I’m in a rage

the only good that came of this was Magnus seeing it and retaliating in the most bamf way possible

also - backing up a bit - Griffin totally fucking hesitates when Trav asks him if the rhino is evil and I got major “Are you my friend?” flashbacks from it.  fuck John’s such a good villain.  fuck.

GRANDPA’S OLD SHITTY KNIFE MAKING A COMEBACK I diiiied.  especially since Trav says in the first episode that it would be important later.  a m a z i n g

Lucretia protecting her family even though she’s mid-spell and knows they probably hate her now I’m fine I’m great

“I know.”

I NEED. TO TALK. ABOUT. THE “I KNOW.”  BECAUSE LIKE ALL I CAN PICTURE IS TAAKO STARING AT THE STAFF AS HE SAYS IT.  blank-faced and cut up and probably not even breathing as it sinks in and he realizes what he needs to do.  what he’s waited so goddamn long for.  after thinking he lost her.  seeing all the pieces slide into place.  the cave and the trial and The Raven and magic lessons and Wonderland - all those times it saved him, helped him, had his back.  of course it’s her.  of course it’s Lup.  of course he never lost her.

"I snap the Umbra Staff over my knee.”  AND THAT?  THAT MOMENT?  that moment is everything I love about TAZ.  Justin’s slow exhale bc he knows how big this is, Clint’s excited laughter just before he says it, his gleeful ‘THATTA BOY!’ when he does, Travis’s “Yep.  YEP.”  THERE IS NOTHING LIKE THIS.  just this in-the-moment storytelling where everyone is so palpably, AUDIBLY on the edge of their seats and somehow the out of character elements only enhance the in-character ones, to the point where I feel like I’m in the room with them too, like we’re all sitting around the same campfire like little kids going, “What happens next??????” oohing and gasping and it’s such a joyful shared experience made all the more so for it being told by a real life family who are just as enthralled with it as we are and IT JUST.  god it gets me, man.  it’s so so special.  it’s such a special special thing.

YOU KNOW WHAT’S MORE SPECIAL THOUGH

MY GIRL LUP

LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

“Are you the one who’s been hurting my brother out there?”  “Am I... where are we?”  “I’m gonna fucking kill you now.”

GET REKT EDWARD

also I’m never going to get over “YOU’RE DATING THE GRIM REAPER?!?!?!” and how that's the FIRST THING SHE SAYS TO HIM IN LITERAL YEARS LIIIIIIKE LOOOOOOOOOL FOREVERRRRRRRR GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH I’M DEAD

AND THEN BARRY BEING LIKE, “I’M GONNA BLOW MYSELF UP JUST SO I CAN HOLD YOU AGAIN,” SHUT UPPPPPPPPP Barry’s the hugest fucking sap.  they’re ruining my life.  they’re life-ruiners

I’m so fucking worried about Lucretia.  please don’t die, moon mom :(((((((((((((((((((((((

"Sorry about the cookies, little dude.”  I WANTED A LUP + ANGUS MOMENT SO BAD AND I GOT ONE I’M CRYING THAT WAS THE CUTEST FUCKING THING

“There’s no easy way to say this.  You gotta find some way to disable this little guy and Fisher’s memory altering field.  And... if you can’t... you have to--” “No.”  “You have to term--”  “No.  No.”  MAGNUS JUST REPEATING ‘NO’ OVER AND OVER AGAIN COMPLETELY UNWILLING TO EVEN HEAR THAT OPTION.  dude I was saying it with him.  no.  no no no no no no

“Court’s in session.”  how dope was that line though

FUCKING PHANDALIN.  I KNEW IT.  I KNEWWWW ITTTTTTT.  GOD I WANTED THAT TO BE THE KEY TO SAVING EVERYONE SO BAD AND I THINK IT WILL BE NOW???  GRIFFIN I LOVE YOU.  IT’S SO PERFECT.  IT’S BEAUTIFUL

“It works both ways!!!”  Taako gives me life

of course shit goes down in the elevator Griffin’s COMMITTED to this BIT and it will make me laugh FOREVER.  what a fucking troll I adore him

JOHN INITIATED PARLEY.  FUCKKKKKKKK.  fuck.  shit’s ‘bout to get real.  (how much you wanna bet Clint completely slays that scene again though.  I can’t wait)

Magnus’s soft, sad, “Aw, buddy...” when Griffin was describing Fisher and how hurt it was... I legit curled up into a ball I CAN’T DO INJURED VOIDFISHES GRIFFIN DON’T MAKE ME

AND THEN THE BABY ONE IS SCARED TO GO OVER.  Magnus going “No, it’s okay!”  HOLDING ITS ‘HAND.’  ARE Y’ALL TRYING TO KILL ME OR WHAT

“I’m so sorry I forgot you, buddy.  I’m so sorry.”

forehead touch.  humming to it.  I’m dead.  I’m gone

LIKE HONESTLY THOUGH HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT GET CHOKED UP WHEN TRAVIS DOES IS THAT EVEN HUMANLY POSSIBLE

god for real though that whole last sequence is described so beautifully like I can’t emphasize enough how fucking gifted Griffin is at this. it’s a gift

this podcast is a gift

#taz spoilers #taz #the adventure zone #this is so long I'M SORRY I would've put it under a cut but it's being annoying #I just needed to get it out in one post #bc it did me a Big Emotion #clearly #part two's gonna end me