#discussion of experimentation

[schneiderenjoyer]

Now that global's getting some more good world lore with the recent two events, I can finally just talk about how much it fascinates me that arcanists, by nature of their genetics, actually are just a different species of their own.

Like, the clear discrimination aside, the fact they definitely stand out among humans truly emphasizes the battle they face to be recognized as equals to humans if you view their race as not a sub-category of human, but as a different species entirely. How like fantasies depict humanoid creatures such as elves and dwarves, but they're never classified as human. That's what arcanists are starting to feel like.

This idea is also supported by the many hints and factoids scattered around the in-game UI. How the Celluloid Activity (the game's energy system) is a form of genetic DNA seen only in arcanists that help them control arcanum. Or how the concept of Gnosis or Deep Thought is their way of focusing their energy and help process the world and the arcanum around them. Blonney's struggle narratively in the event shows just how much arcanists think very differently compared to humans that it's seen as "odd" and "not normal" (also love the neuro divergent subtext of that for arcanists honestly).

But the real kicker of how it makes me confirm that it's not just a human discrimination of a race, but straight up xenophobia for an entire species is the conversations we get from the entire Nightmare in Green Lake, where the majority of the cast is purely arcanists interacting with other arcanists.

From the conversation in car of casually talking about Tooth Fairy eating fairies to the point she got cursed to have her teeth stolen like it's a conversation about the weather, to them just glossing over the erratic behavior of Changeling keeping campers hostage and later just getting rid (or throwing them out of the campsite) once she's bored of them. These are seen as normal behavior to arcanists.

Like, forget the members of the foundation probably seeing worse, I'm surprised Blonney didn't react more to the realization, it's honestly hilarious. But that just shows the clear divide of what makes arcanists different from humans. Which also explains why a lot of the arcanists talk so cryptic and artistic, sometimes not making sense unlike the human characters who talk straightforward and direct.

Because to us, as humans, we understand that language better and viewing arcanists' language is hard to decipher since they're a different species with a different culture and way of thinking.

This opens up larger avenues of viewing the struggles of arcanists in a human dominated world and the dark implication of the Foundation potentially experimenting on arcanists not to find the cell to withstand the Storm, but to transplant the ability to use arcanum onto humans through genetic alteration. Which can be backed up with the masks the Manus gives to humans to withstand the Storm, but in exchange turns them into monstrous beings because they can't handle the forced application of Celluloid Activity on their body.

#reverse 1999 #don't look at me i'm brainrotting again #going feral i'm losing it #fun fact from the CN beta Schneider was categorized under Infected in the UTTU catalog for arcanists #which brings up the discussion of can becoming an arcanists despite not being born as one be possible for humans #THIS IS MY DESPERATE CRY TO HAVE SCHNEIDER BACK BLUEPOCH PLS #HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION OR NOT BRING MY BBYGIRL BACK

[houndfaker]

very normal hospital roommates

#persona 3 #p3 #kikuno saikawa #chidori yoshino #quinn moment #quinn drawings #girl i am this close to writing my entirely speculative backstory piece regarding chidori and kikuno. yyoure telling me we're just not gonn #discuss the mutual child experimentation background

[autistic-sidestep]

someone remind me to write up my fh disability theory reading meta at some point

#ive got something. it's gonna overlap a bunch with the transhumanism theme and discuss ortegas internalised ableism #alongside the allegories of the enhanced for disability + racism/disability/poverty/queerness (cigs inherent queerness of fh post is inspo) #mostly started with thinking abt the parallels between sura and ortega and how they choose to deal with their disability #some similar and some wildly different #i love that so much of the cast is disabled and in such a variety of ways #owl lost her legs during the nanosurge and ortegas highly experimental mods let them walk again and enhance their agility/strength #+ other things (at Extreme cost.) #chen is multiply disabled with the multiple amputations and the gut issues #argents got the nanovore stuff and chronic pain #sidestep is autistic coded! also the paingate being broken can be an allegory for chronic pain/fatigue. no longer being able to push through #like they used to. #ramblings #fh meta

[coochiequeens]

I'd rather be called a "TERF" than someone who supports people getting life changing surgery by doctors who can't even be bothered to give their patients through post op directions.

The doctor gave too little information about post op care? Can anyone think of any other surgery where friends or "allies" are expected to encourage someone to get a surgery performed by such a doctor? With any other type of surgery a good friend would be expected to find some way to get their friend out and do research to find a better doctor.

Instead it looks like they chose the lesser of two evils and still got bad results

#Experimental surgery #Life altering surgery #The doctor absolutely should have had a through what to expect after discussion #But they could have done more research to ask questions about how it will impact their lives

[eppysboys]

#the beatles #polls #i'm sorry 'sgt pepper's band' are just beatles to me #because they would literally wear those suits and make fruity experimental music on any given day anyway #it's like the 'what is a toy vs just an object' discussion

[ginnyw-potter]

Experimentally in love Chapter 6/9: Pebbling

(Full chapter on AO3)

Ginny turned to him, swivelling on her desk chair. “So, we’ve got only a day or three to go until the experiment ends.”

He immediately put down his phone and stood up from the bed, getting closer to her. “Yes, and?”

She looked up at him, her eyes bright. “We have to decide what we do,” —She pointed at the both of them.—“With this.”

Harry rested his hands on the armrests and smiled teasingly. “Why? Are you letting me go?”

Her eyes didn’t stray from his face and her expression remained playful. “Should be up for discussion.”

#This exact snippet is actually one of the first scenes I had in mind for this fic #the fact that they'd discuss both already knowing the answer #hinny #experimentally in love #EIL #fic #update #AO3

[daeluin]

like in my lifetime (32 years) i saw the dollar-pesos argentinos exchange rate go from 1 to 1 in 2000 to 1 to 1000

that's a five digits devaluation. in less than 30 years..... like can you imagine what that does to any economy????

like can you even imagine what it's like living in this fucking graphic

#so yeah no we can't have an honest discussion about imperialism and neocolonialism and oppression if usamericans can't warp their minds #around what the dollar as a global currency means and how they benefit of it #us imperialism #im sorry im sorry I said I wasn't gonna be argie posting but man #no te da ganas de salir y cagar a palos a un político #also this goes hand in hand with my previous photo of the chicago boys bc lawl EXPERIMENTAL ECONOMICS!!!

[b-sai-des]

A New Frontier: South Asian Fusion

In terms of any actual formal music knowledge, I come from the side of Carnatic music, the Indian classical music style, having been learning the mridangam for around ten years under my guru, Sri T.S Nandakumar. I am always eternally grateful for all that he has done for all of us students, and one of the many things I admire about sir is his willingness to explore unconventional avenues with the mridangam. The mridangam is a two-sided barrel drum usually played as an accompanying instrument in a Carnatic piece that may feature vocals or violin, and veena as well. Nandakumar sir is a renowned accompanying artist, but he’s also given his students many opportunities to perform like chamber concerts and arangetrams. One really unique thing he’s done is a large orchestra of mridangams and other Carnatic percussion instruments at the Cleveland Thyagaraja Festival, which he’s done for multiple years and encouraged even younger students to practice and perform there. It’s unusual for the mridangam to take such a center stage like that, where you have around 100 players playing together in an epic display alongside veena and violin. It was also cool to see Nandakumar sir bringing in western drums into those performances as well, along with drum pads there and in other performances. Having that exposure from a young age really opened my eyes to the potential of Carnatic music elements in contexts that you don’t normally see, and I got curious about what else is capable. Carnatic music for example utilizes many, many different talams (time signatures) apart from just 4:4 (Adi in Carnatic music), and it would be really interesting to see how that could be utilized more generally.

South Asian fusion is a huge, diverse space that’s hard to really pigeon-hole because of how many types of South Asian music there are (Carnatic is just one, there’s also Hindustani, Sufi music, folk music, Bhangra, etc.), along with different genres that they are mixed with like jazz, rock, pop, etc. You had mingling in the past, like Ravi Shankar and The Beatles. Later on it grew, definitely a more recent phenomenon and likely accelerated due to immigration and assimilation in the west. Younger generations are really at the forefront on it  – you see a ton of high school and college clubs doing Indian music or dance fusion. Rutgers has many, including RU Dhol for example. Some of these student clubs lean more on the side of Bollywood-oriented stuff, and there are times that can overshadow other ways to explore the genres – my sister sometimes talks about how the South Asian fusion club she’s part of really neglects classical dance forms like Bharatanatyam or Kathak. In that club it’s seen as the less hip thing, and people will say “it’s cool that you’re so confident to perform that” rather than actually having an interest in it and the people who want to share it. Then again, I'm talking about high-school pettiness here – it's not like this everywhere. RU Dhol combines South Asian instruments and styles of playing with western equivalents. This performance places electric guitars next to the Indian classical violin style in a really fun way.

One of my biggest experiences with South Asian fusion is with Brooklyn Raga Massive. My aunt is a Bharatanatyam teacher, and in 2018 or so she had collaborated with a theater director for a production of Jungle Book, where her students performed Bharatanatyam in a song. After the show, we had met some of the other musicians involved in the show, since my cousin learns Carnatic singing, my sister Bharatanatyam, and I mridangam, and we talked to a percussionist who was part of Brooklyn Raga Massive. He had told us about them – they do daily events at a Prospect Heights venue along with bigger events and performances, and he encouraged us to come on a Thursday where they hold an open mic jam session. We definitely got excited about this, and we went one evening.

The venue was a real hole in the wall type bar with a small stage and seating area in the back, and there was a decent and rather diverse crowd of people. Dim lights and creaky wooden floors, very aesthetic. It’s interesting because now they’ve grown immensely as an organization, and I don’t believe they still have events at this place. It was really cool to see the really different talents displayed there – one woman performed a really interesting singing performance which now I can’t pinpoint what style it was. You also had more traditional classical instruments like tabla and sitar. What’s really cool is that even though I was only in eight grade and my cousin was only in ninth grade, they gave both of us the opportunity to play with them, and they were super friendly and inviting, even despite any mistakes or hesitation I had. There were no judgments, just the spirit of experimenting and playing. I still look at that night with a lot of fondness. 

What I played that day, it was really incredible to get that opportunity and for it to be so low-key and welcoming. My cousin is also there on the stage (dressed in white), he’s an incredibly skilled Carnatic vocalist.

Recently I was inspired by all this and for my midterm assignment for the class I’m writing this for, I made a music track with mridangam and electronic effects in Ableton (free trial came clutch). I initially spent a lot of time worrying about doing it right and perfectly planning everything, but it only came together when I just let go of that and just messed around, re-arranging recordings of me playing and layering effects. Just doing it was fun, and I learned a lot from it.

shameless plug to my video

There’s a free-ness with something like this that’s a really different experience from traditional Carnatic music. At the same time, there’s a level of playfulness with Carnatic music too, as when you’re playing on stage you don’t practice with the other artist beforehand, and what happens there is often unexpected and exciting, and I’m reminded of that when I see jazz music too. To me says a lot about the inherent commonalities in what makes music so rewarding to make and experience.

#music blog #music discourse #music discussion #music #indie #new music #experimental music #carnatic #carnaticmusic #asian underground #south asia #south asian fusion #electronic music #mridangam #Youtube #long post

[secattention]

The Answer is Simple,  But Since You are Not Allowed to Say it.....Please Allow Me.....An Experimental mRNA Shot, Which Y’all Refer to as Vaccines & Boosters.  This IS What is Causing the Heart Attacks & Heart Issues, Aids, Hepatitis, Including Every Other Ailment that has Mysteriously Made an Appearance in the Populace.

#Black Diamond #on BitChute #awareness #Children who have been given the Experimental mRNA Shot are Developing Hepatitis #Among Many Other Issues...this is the one they are discussing today #But the World Health Organization HAS NO IDEA What Could be Causing this Hepatitis Outbreak......no idea #These ARE Children WE ARE Discussing Here... #How the Hell Can People Not be Over the Top Outraged Over This...do they beLIEve These Outright Liars #Do YOU Really Want an Organization that IS this Corrupt Having WorldWide Powers Over Anything #This IS Going to be What We Will be Left With....A Mafia that IS in Charge of Your Health...that can LIE it's ASS OFF... #Nothing But Pure DisInformation Leaving this Organizations Mouth --- AND WE Are NOT Allowed to Speak the TRUTH... #Because the TRUTH Will be Labeled DisInformation.....AND the LIES are Labeled the TRUTH.....WOW!!.... #upside down...backwards....just the way the dark worshipping elite like it #ALWAYS Try to Keep in Mind...that these Puppets that are on Display ARE Having Their Strings Pulled by their Masters from the Shadows #It's No Joke...there are Families that Rule this Earth that are NEVER Spoken About...do you know their names?? #The LIGHT Needs to be Cast in that Direction.....LIGHT'em Up People!!

[astrathechinchilla]

For the lurker slavery thing, I think it was implied that Gol and Maia created them so after they were defeated they were lost and leaderless. Just left on their own to survive with precurians (borrowing your word) hating them. So of course they retreat into caves and dark spaces, slowly building their own culture while precurians slowly grow in fear of them upon stumbling into these budding civilizations because 'what if they're regrouping and planning to invade us again' and eventually tensions grow until the precurians, already paranoid because of a war with the metal heads, invade them to eliminate a potential threat of a two front war. They still see them as not much else than beasts and now defeating what was essentially a culture of refugees and seeing how easy it was, someone gets the idea of putting them to work. So now any settlement found gets raided for more slaves. Only now.in constant contact with the lurkers and some lurkers slowly learning precurian languages do a select few precurians start to see beyond prejudice of them being conquered beasts and seeing the culture lurkers developed and really they are sapient creatures like them and maybe this whole slavery thing is kinda fucked up.

Welp that got longer than I thought it would. Hope you don't mind the headcannon

You do not know how fast I clicked to answer this

Neat headcanon

I don’t really know if that first fact of Gol and Maia creating the Lurkers is really a definite truth or falsity in the actual canon, but it is one way to view them that I believe is valid. I don’t personally go with it, since the origins of their people aren’t really the big issue that I have with the way Jak & Daxter writes them, so I’m not going to really talk about that in all honesty (also it may not have been all Lurkers that served under those two, but they are the only ones that are shown so you are right to assume that).

Even if this isn’t how I would frame the situation, that being a majority of Precurians having a long standing hatred for Lurkers that lasted up until now, it is a valid approach to writing this.

However, you also have to consider when the enslavement began. If it was happening long before the Baron came into power, then you have to also consider Damas and the Mar family line who ruled before him as actively participating in the crime of slavery.

However, if it happened after Praxis became the ruler of Haven, I don’t think it would be hatred alone that was the cause of the Baron to so quickly commit a crime such as this. I think it would stem from a very different crime, betrayal.

You must consider the timeline you made before putting in these kinds of details.

This is what @sonicringnoise means you guys, DON’T DO WHAT I’M DOING IF YOU LIKE YOUR BRAIN.

If you don’t want to talk about the contradicting time line and lose your sanity, turn away now. Otherwise, buckle up cause I’m about to spit some facts that are important when you consider this specific plot hole.

———

Now when it comes to the details of the timeline, it’s all over the place. So many details do not make sense when considering certain character’s ages, specifically Mar’s(the kid), and contradict each other.

Everyone out there, how long do you think the Baron has been in power? With how a lot of the story is framed, it makes it seem like decades, but in reality I believe it hasn’t been that long. Why do I think that? It’s the combination of Mar’s age, Veger kidnapping him then losing him, and Damas being banished.

Now, look at Mar.

When we put his height into consideration, along with the way he walks, I believe he’s around 3-4 years old at the max. Some believe he’s around 5-6, but I believe he’s younger than that solely because of the comment older Samos makes at the end of Jak 2.

Younger children like that generally don’t remember much from that age, and though Jak says he does remember ‘the light’, that’s the only thing he seems to remember.

When we consider this, it’s right to presume that Mar’s kidnapping had, at the very least, taken place 3-4-ish years before the events of Jak 2, and along with that Damas’s banishment.

Damas most likely lost his son in Haven City after Praxis betrayed him, separating him from his son upon being imprisoned, and he then was later banished. That’s why he sent Sig into the city as a spy, to find his son.

At the very least, Mar had to have been an infant at the beginning of Praxis’s reign, only a couple a months old at best, so it was easy for Veger to take him. However, he couldn’t hold onto the child for long, because he ‘lost him to the Underground’.

Therefore, the max amount of time Praxis has been in power should be about 4 years. Granted, this number can change increase depending on if you think Mar was kidnapped in Spargus or Haven, but for what was presented to us in the games, it’s most likely the latter being the actual canon cause they don’t specify.

However, when you make this the exact number of years Praxis has been in power, certain details don’t make sense and contradict these facts. The major one is actually a part of the physical world design- and I’m not talking about the map itself. I’m talking about an important detail.

I’m referring to the Baron’s statue in Haven City.

Now, with how the statue crumbles, along with the crunchy sound affects after it’s hit with the laser/light/whatever that was, people would assume that the statue is made of stone or a material along those lines, right? Wrong.

If you look closely, the inside of the statue’s head it’s shown to be hollow on the inside. And notice anything else? The color looks akin to the shade of the Statue of Liberty(probably another thing inspired by GTA- I don’t know if any of the games at the time take place in New York City, but this is all speculation)

However, why I bring up the specifics of the material being used to make this statue is important, because if this was made the same way the Statue of Liberty was made, it would have taken 9 YEARS TO FINISH(give or take).

This completely contradicts all of the information I previously presented, so in my fic I changed the statue from being a completely finished structure to being at the beginning of its construction.

Now, everyone must be thinking, what does this all have to do with the slavery of the Lurkers? It’s exactly what I pointed out at the beginning of the rant- You must consider the timeline you made before putting in these kinds of details.

If you have Lurkers that have only been enslaved after Baron Praxis was put into power, that means if we consider the fact that it would only be at a max 4 years, it’s most likely not bigotry being the primary reason he did so.

If it were to have been longer than that, you’ll then have to consider the fact that Damas may have participated in such a inhumane practice along with the entirety of his bloodline, possibly even Mar himself.

However, if it’s the former like how I personally believe, it most likely happened this way-

The Lurkers and Precurians did have conflicts in the past because of the aftermath of Gol and Maia, but they soon came to an understanding with each other after these fights. This could either be because-

They saw that they were more alike than they realized via experiencing each other’s cultures and people realizing the fighting wasn’t worth it, or-

They found respect in each other when a common enemy, The Metal Heads, appeared. They then realized fighting amongst themselves was going to kill them, so they made a truce that grew into a strong bond between their factions.

It could be both of these reasons in varied combinations, or it could’ve been neither. Either way, they reconciled somehow. Therefore, it was most likely not hatred and bigotry being the sole factor of their future enslavement at the hands of the Baron’s rule.

The Lurkers must have been aligned with Haven in the fight against the MetalHeads, but the Baron broke that alliance when he enslaved a large portion of the Lurker people, betraying their trust. Why? Most likely because they would’ve retaliated when Damas was banished from the kingdom and are fiercely loyal to people they consider friends. He doesn’t want to lose his new founded position, so he attacks first, and enslaves the Lurkers that didn’t escape him.

I only came to these conclusions solely based on the time frame I grasped from the given information the game presents. You can all come to different conclusions depending on which facts you think are the best to go with, even changing key facts like where and when Mar was born and all that stuff.

However, you must still consider the implications that your headcanons/alternate universes have, and take extra care to iron out any contradictions caused by such details. I do it everyday with my work, and I urge you all to do the same.

———

Nobody else has sent an ask like this before so if you want to send me more, please do so. That goes for everyone else out there as well 🤗.

#jak and daxter #jak and daxter au #jak and daxter fanfic #jak and daxter criticism #jak and daxter theories #jak and daxter headcanons #look I really like talking about Jak and Daxter guys #the contradictions make these games so much fun to discuss #in reality I chalk up most of these to just experimental writing gone wrong #but the implications caused by their writing is important to consider #I take all of my critiquing very seriously like almost everything else I do

[itsgerges]

#quantum physics #classical physics #physics #experimental #experimental physics #theoretical physics #theoretical physicist #theory #discussion #speculation #theories #theory of physics #cosmology #cosmological constant #galaxy cosmos #cosmos #cosmos: a spacetime odyssey #research #websites #modern physics

[camping-with-monsters]

SO ALL ABOARD THE WTF EXPRESS!

did another one of those “lyrical roulette” drawings where I use the lyrics from the last song that plays when I finish a drawing and sorta had to fight with this one cause it was “The End Of The Line” by The Stupendium…………. this is the best I could make it work lol

#was really experimental with the coloring/shading style here #my friends and gf seemed to like it so I might try this again here and there…? #actually really funny that it landed on a Stupendium song considering Neath! is still my whole personality rn #was like “how do I fit the funny train song here……” man I just picked a lyric that I liked a lot lol #this was originally gonna be a doodle for a concept that was discussed but uh. something happened in between there :))) #I woke up yesterday with a whopping ZERO drawing ideas so this just came straight out of nowhere tbh #Mary the Descender #Bliss #ocs #original characters #original stories #lyrical roulette #The Kiwi Draws

[bee-turtle-kind]

watching FMA for the first time ever and man. Man. Why did no one tell me this has all my favorite tropes and horrors <3

#not to sound insane but. i love shows and anime especcially that delve into human experimentation and soul based experiments #when i was like 7 my i saw one ep and didnt understand so i never tried again. regret #ive been really missing the way late 90s and early 2000s anime was too so this is just like. generally a good fix for me #your body being permanently changed in a way foreign to you that changes others perspective on you? never feeling complete? #love that shit #i love al so so so much since of that. and man. the duality of him and ed in moral discussions i love #i also love how with al there's so much of feeling like you aren't human i can relate to #not being able to remember how the people closest to him feel since his senses are gone. not being able to remember if he ever had friends #like does he even truly age? it raises so many questions that to be fair they ad characters dont want to consider #im only on ep20 of the 2003 fma series right now #i feel like there's so much i dont know its wild #fma #anime #august squawks #tag rambles

[bugfishh]

if data can’t be collected ethically then it shouldn’t be done. idc what the subject of discussion is

#this goes for any and all situations #once data is ethically sourced then we can move on to other ethical discussions before doing something #but why does it seem like so much shit just comes from head first experimentation and no one asks questions about ethics. it pains me #anyway. #sharing with the class

[bakedbananners]

alex listening to hyper pop is what partially helped trans her gender

I’m biased because I dislike a lot of hyperpop so I’ll just agree as far as the electronic music genre generally lol 🏃

#unless it’s made by a transfem I don’t wanna hear it #srry I feel like Alex listens more to breakcore and industrial and experimental stuff #would she listen to aphex twin let’s discuss… #alex fierro #magnus chase #mcga #riordanverse #me talking #ask

[b-sai-des]

An Interview with Lilith a.k.a nicho santos is dead (pt2)

Another thing I was curious to hear you speak on was your development of your artist name and the personal significance that's had for you and your music. 

Oh man. Oh man. Okay. That's a really good question. Yeah, let's talk about that. So obviously I go by Lilith now, but if you know me from a previous time, or if I give you permission to, I used to have a name and it was Nicho. Nicho derived from Nicholas from my parents, which I'm very grateful for. It was a good name, nothing against them. I love them for that. But– so I know for a fact though that when I entered college, I was in a really weird and ever-changing mindset. Cause I know I was just experimenting with identity. I was a he/they for like a damn good while actually now that I think about it, I never really took the plunge until college came around. It was a lot of change.

Granted it came with its emotional bouts. It came with, you know, just figuring shit out as a person. I mean, you know you're supposed to make mistakes in this time. And, you know, I'm grateful that I made those mistakes. I'm grateful that I'm able to grow as a person from there. But I remember at one point, and I think it was like the apex of the spring semester, where I just really didn't feel like myself, like the name didn't make sense. I didn't really see myself as a guy. I didn’t really…I mean I could definitely fit in. I can work my way around people. I mean, I have like my friend group in high school, you know, with you in it, obviously, I can pencil my way through like a bunch of hurdles. But the thing was, like, I never really associated myself as, I guess, "one of the guys." I mean, I was a part of the guys, but I wasn't really, I didn't really feel like one. I felt more like just me rather than like, "oh, I'm a boy, I have to do this one thing, another thing" that catered to whatever gender I had to be.

So at one point, my name just kind of died out to me, and I didn't feel like myself, really. And a lot of the music around that time – I don't think I even released music around that time. Because it just wasn't me. Like, it didn't feel honest to me. I only like to put out music if I know that it's very honest to me and what I want out of myself. If it's something forced, then like, why? You know, it's not, it's not me. It's just some sort of extension that I tried to put on, but it's not really me. So I think, over the summer, I did a lot of thinking in terms of identity and stuff. Granted, it was hard, like, you know, I still haven't like, fully come out to everybody yet about it, I mean, it's like a whole thing. 

But one of the big things was just giving myself that choice. A lot of it was just like, remembering, you know, I can't control everything. But I can control the things that I have. I can't control the things that I can’t. If that name just didn't feel right to me, I think I just gotta choose a new name. And you can already see where this is going. I changed it. I wanted to be called Lilith for, like, a while. I told some people, they were so on board with it. I thank, again, I thank my Berklee friends so much, you know who you are. Thank you for just being so understanding, and being able to support me through such a crazy transition in my life, because, granted, let's say if I did this in high school, I feel like I wouldn't have gotten as much support. 

Having the support just gave me the confidence to just do what I want more. I stopped thinking too much about “what could,” “what ifs,” “what do they think." And I just started really making shit that I wanted. I wanted my music to sound dirty. I wanted my music to sound imperfect, but like, raw. And that's exactly what I tried aiming for. I wanted to make dance-y music. I made a dance album. And just kind of having that freedom, not just in my name, but also identity and music choice is just such a nice thing to have.

And, you know, nicho santos is dead was like this whole arc. Like, I released a whole album because it was like, probably one of the last times I would ever make music in that echelon, but now I could experiment more upon it.

It was kind of like the closing chapter of a book, if I had to describe that. And that, the whole name change for like, maybe a couple months. As of November 7th, 2023, you know, I changed my username. I'm dressing the way that I want. I'm doing the things that I want. I'm not stressing about relationships too much. I just want to make the music that I want to make and make some good ass friends, have some fruitful relationships, be a good person. That's really it now. 

And like, to think it was so simple now, but last year, it was not like that at all. My music definitely reflected that too (laughs). It was just a bunch of fucking confusion and chaos. And now that there's just like this level of clarity. It's just easier to make stuff now. I could just make whatever I want, and granted, you know, improve upon it, continue to practice. But yeah.

That's pretty profound. I think that's just a beautiful way to look at things, and something where you're being honest to yourself. It's like you said about being in control of the things that you can be in control of, and, you know, that's, I don't know that that's something that I think we can all aspire to. Because I think a lot of people, I mean, even myself, I feel like sometimes we don't really like, we kind of take that for granted. 

Oh, for sure. I mean, like, control is such an interesting thing, like ego, all that. So I have like, so many fucking conversations about this with Eli. It's really nice, because I get to really reflect and say it out loud to a person, and they tell me what they think. And I'm like, “Damn, that's real!” 

But even I'm still learning, you know. As people we never learn something and stop there. We're always learning. That's the most important part you have to remember. The goalpost will always move with you. But you will always surpass the ghost of wherever the goalpost once was, type of deal, you know? Every time you improve something, the goalpost moves further, but you know, you move forward as well. 

Yeah, yeah. I really appreciate you talking about this and being so open about it. It’s something that's obviously very personal, but also something that I think is really important to hear.

Identity is just such an important thing, sense of self. A lot of this music industry, from what I've seen of the music industry – I haven't really dove into it as much as I think I have, what, I’m maybe 10 feet deep into the ocean out of like the hundreds of feet, maybe thousands – but there's a lot of people out there, it's very easy to get lost. It's very important to have a good group of people, but also yourself, you can rely on yourself the most. And being honest with yourself will just make that job easier. 

Because if you're, if you're playing yourself up to be like something that you aren’t, and then you need to fall on that, that shit's gonna fall flat. You need to be honest with yourself 100% of the time, and I'm telling you, the music will show. The music will show that you're being honest with yourself.

There's like, I could probably bring up two albums off of my bandcamp where I could really talk about that. It was power creep: the outtakes. That album was probably– I love that album, but that was…honestly not me. I wasn't who I wanted to be. 

I made Letters soon after and it was like a whole like ambient album and that was like one of the best projects I made in my opinion. No one got it, but I was happy. And honestly? That's really all I can ask for myself. I really make my music for me. But if you fuck with it, if you vibe with it, that's awesome too. If you don't, that's awesome. I'm just a choice, I'm french fries at the whole buffet. You don't gotta get me, you know. If you don't like me, it's fine you know, my music's gonna be here. Not going anywhere.

Lilith has an experience that is really important to hear, and I was extremely grateful that they shared that here, especially considering how personal it is. They also bring a really insightful perspective that rings true in general. It seems to be at the crux of their strive for authenticity on both the personal and artistic level. Lilith goes further into detail with how they stay personal and authentic in their production work.

I guess the other thing I was kind of wondering is when you when you're making an album, or rather when you're like making a song and you use samples, do you start with the sample and then build off of it or is it something where you have an idea and then the sample comes next?

Hmm, that's a good question. Producing is a very emotional thing for me. It can vary every time someone asks me about my process. It does vary from time to time because usually I build off of an emotion. I just kind of walk in, I let myself become a vessel to whatever is around me, and whatever I start with, I start with. If it's drums I start with drums. If I start with a sample I start with a sample. But my emotions do play a lot into the types of samples that I choose. I don't know how much you can hear it in the new album, but like I chose a lot more, I guess…comforting? I wanna say comforting, but let’s say it's just super energetic, makes you want to move a little bit. I was looking for stuff that had that energy to me, and If I could find it and harness it then I would put it in the track. Make it. Do what I had to do. 

Yeah, that's really interesting. I can see how it all kind of goes back to that feeling of authenticity and what's true to what you're trying to do. One thing I have been meaning to ask is about the way that you use percussion; oftentimes when you have the percussion it kind of syncs with other sounds that are sucking in and out – ducking out. It's just always a really interesting effect,  and also something that I can't really think of being utilized in the way that you have with your music. There are times where it feels like it kind of contributes to the rhythm of the track, I don't know the technical terms of it. I think it's one of the things about your style that’s just really fascinating.

Oh yeah, yeah, side chain compression man. I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty but side compression is when you take two sources of audio– compression essentially equalizes everything so it makes the quiet parts louder and the louder parts quieter– if you have a sound that completely overbears the quieter signal it’s going to duck out, and to compensate, the smaller signal will get louder after the hit, so it creates this ducking effect that…this is all very technical stuff, I go to a music school, I’m embarrassed. Honestly, it gets the job done. 

It's interesting though, because I was thinking with sidechain compression…my teacher Daedelus, I'm so thankful for Daedelus, shoutout to them, if you don’t know who Daedelus is I’m very sad. I’m joking, of course. No they're just super important to like music as a whole, and I'm very grateful to call them my teacher and a peer.

The big thing about it was, they had this album called What Wands Won’t Break, and it toyed with this idea of loudness, and how far you can push something to get different qualities out of it, and how much it can evoke this raw feeling of like primal essence, if I had to describe it. They completely went out into the outskirts of dance music and turned the volume all the way up and harnessed this energy to bring out these crazy different parts of the track you never thought would have been able to exist if they hadn't played with loudness. 

What sidechain compression is for me is kind of like that, because now I play with the idea of loudness, but being able to suck away from that with something that's just as loud. It’s kind of like…it moves me a little bit, especially with the more emotional samples? I don’t know, just like the absence of that kind of emotional cord, and that can maybe tug at your heartstrings a bit. But then having it come back after it being taken away from you, and then having it taken away…it's like this crazy push and pull and like, you know, my roommate Trey – I love my roommate Trey – he hates sidechain compression. It's not for everybody. Yeah, he's like “Why are those beats so quiet? I want to hear the beat?” I fucking love that shit! I do not care about what he says, I love that– I will defend it until I die. But I totally get what he's coming from too!

But like, you know, like it's an interesting way to get, like, value, it…I'm speaking so much on it but at the end of the day It's just: cool drum, makes the sample duck under volume, and it comes back out, and it makes my neurons active. It's really just as simple as that, but emotionally it can do some stuff! Like I'm not gonna try to come off as some sort of like pretentious, “well, you see the sidechain compression akshully provokes something with it–” well, it does, yeah, but it's not that deep. Sometimes it just sounds cool!

You know, I've learned a lot, especially through music, and being in the industry, gifts will just come and either you just accept them or reject them. You can't just dive into it like well, “Why did I get this? Why?” Just like dude, it's there! You don't have to look too deep into it. It just is, whether you like it or not. You can accept that shit or reject it. But either way, it's still gonna be there. 

Yeah, that was great, to hear your explanation and thoughts on that. I find it's really fascinating the way that you kind of talk about that emotional component with how it affects the rest of the song. Yeah, that's crazy! 

Yeah, I mean like it’s simple. Dynamics, volume plays such a big role in music, you know. Simple silence, sometimes having something be quiet or maybe have something just be loud all of a sudden. But I can just evoke something whether you like it or not. A reaction and emotion maybe It's just more or less like finding a way to trigger that emotion and then doing that consistently while also like finding new ways to express that. 

Cuz you know, I can do the same tricks for a while, but I'm experimenting now. I'm back in like my, “Okay, I gotta figure this shit out. Okay. What do I gotta do for this? Okay, what can I do differently?” You know, small things, you keep working on it. You essentially theseus-ship your way into a completely different sound. It just takes time and it just means consistency, and I’m very thankful for my work ethic because I don't think I'd be able to do it if I was any lazier than I am right now. 

There's a whole lot of really really interesting and insightful stuff that you're telling, I really appreciate you taking the time and letting me interview you!

Yeah, of course! And like I'm honestly super grateful. Like I'm very honored that you thought of me to ask me for an interview.

Lilith's approach to music production is always from a place of having an authentic sound and working outside convention to, as they correctly describe, evoke something raw. It's also always from a place of true passion for the craft and for their friendships.

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