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pm-my-hubbies · 3 years

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Lani’s Crown | H.C.

Summary: Reader and Henry’s daughter has landed herself in a bit of trouble and needs to understand the importance they put into her hair.

Pairing: Dad!Henry x Black Mom!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

I knew this day would come and unfortunately, I hadn’t prepared myself for it. “Hey, don’t forget you gotta have that talk with Lani pretty soon,” my conscience would remind me as I stared in awe at a queen with a head full of kinky hair. Like the snap of a hypnosis’ fingers, the task would slip away from me and I would return to whatever I had on my plate for the time being. Apparently, this “talk” wasn’t at the top of my to-do list.

My eyes shift from the shoulder length hair on the right side of my five year-old’s head to the gapped up left side. Something tells me she was reenacting Halle Berry’s notorious transformation scene from Catwoman as it’s become a favorite of hers in the past couple of weeks. This idea prompts me to hold in the snicker threatening to fall past my lips because right now is not a laughing matter.

“I honestly don’t know what to say Ailani.” I speak. It’s not that I’m mad at my baby because that’s what she is: a baby. She’s still struggling to steady the handlebars of her bicycle when she rides and her tongue has begun poking out the side of her mouth as she attempts to loop her shoe laces together. She doesn’t know how special her hair is because I hadn’t told her. And even if I did, it’ll take her brain ages to digest the information.

“I’m sorry, Mommy. I didn’t mean it.” she whimpers.

“I know baby but... why did you go for the scissors? You know you’re only supposed to use them for cutting paper and when adults are around. What happened?”

Today had been a good day at the restaurant. As the manager of the small-staffed bakery not too far from Lani’s school, majority of the tasks outside of sitting behind the desk fell onto me two weeks ago when three of the employees decided “a mental break” was necessary (I would’ve been fine if I hadn’t seen one of them chugging down beer after beer when I went out for drinks with some friends on a Friday night). Garlic wafted up my nostrils the moment I stepped over the threshold into our home and I knew something was up as my husband was cooking my comfort meal. He didn’t say anything when I asked of our daughter’s whereabouts. A nod in the direction of our dining room that was connected to the living room was all I needed to know something had happened. Lani has already placed her crayons to the side of her paper on the dining room table and peeked up at me with solemn eyes.

“Charlotte and I were play—” she began.

“Wait, Charlotte?”

Lani bowed her head in shame. “Yes.”

God fucking dammit. “Lani, why would... why would you play with Charlotte after Mommy told you to not be around her anymore?”

Her head was still low but I managed to catch the next statement clear as day. “Because she said I could make more friends if my hair was short like her and the other girls.”

I felt as if I were on fire. My body burned with anger and once again, it wasn’t directed towards Lani. Charlotte was once the little girl you wanted your children to play with every single day. But after some time, her true bad habits made an appearance and next thing you know, you were constantly disregarding the ringing of your doorbell as she shouted for your child. To add on to her pest-like behavior, Charlotte’s parents could never recognize the wrongs in her actions.

I shouldn’t be surprised such words could come from a child’s mouth but I am. Maybe it’s because it’s been a while since I allowed another kindergartener to bully me and I assumed times have changed for them to not talk out of their asses. Yet, here we are.

“Ailani, can you look at me? Please?” I calmly asked.

My daughter finally picked her head up and it was in this moment that all frustration I felt for her former friend dissipated. Her round cheeks were wet with fresh tears, brown eyes the size of saucers.

“Oh Ailani.” I cooed, walking around the coffee table dividing us to plant myself on the floor next to her. I pulled her onto my lap, her face pressing against my chest as her body racked with sobs. “Shhh, it’s okay.”

“I hurt your feelings, Mommy.”

“You did baby but that’s beside the point. Your feelings are hurting right now and it’s landed you in some mess.” I explained. Internally, I was chanting to not let the waterworks flow.

Lani continued her moment of sadness at most likely destroying the pride I held for her hair. The left side was the only destruction, which left more on her head. Still, blades made contact with the kinks at an inappropriate time.

Eventually, her body ceased the shaking and all I could feel was the large gulps she took as she calmed down. I guess now was the time to talk to her.

“You did hurt Mommy’s feelings because I love your hair. But at the same time, Mommy never told you how special your hair is so you wouldn’t do what you did.” I began. “Most girls want a crown to look like the Disney princesses they see on TV. I was one of those girls but I only wanted the tiara to be like the other girls. Do you hear me?”

She nodded. “Mmhm.”

“Good. Your grandmother told me that I didn’t need a crown to be pretty or like other girls because I already had one with me that followed me everywhere. And that, my Love, is my hair. Sit up for a second.” My daughter did as told, straddling my lap with bloodshot eyes looking into my watery ones. I placed my hand in her hair to massage her scalp. “The thing about your hair and my hair is that it’s unique. It’s what makes us beautiful. Some days we’ll braid it and other days we can wear it loose. The best thing about our hair is that it’s like a magicians hat to people that don’t look like us.”

“A magicians hat?”

“Mmhm. See, the only thing you know about a magicians hat is that it’s the same one they always wear. And every time they reach into it, it’s something new they pull out that amazes the audience every single time. With you, people will always see you with the same hair style until you straighten it. And every time you straighten it, it’ll be longer than before and amaze people each time. And that, my Darling, is because people are idiots when it comes to us and our hair.”

The cutest of giggles escaped Lani’s lips and I couldn’t help but to grin at the sound I got out of her. “Mommy no!”

“It’s true Lani! A lot of people don’t know much about our hair except to tell us how to style it. Your dad’s an exception, even though he can be a little dumb at times.”

“I heard that!” Henry exclaimed from the kitchen.

I chuckled as I leaned to the side to respond with, “Mind your business!”

“Can’t do that when you brought me into it.”

I glanced back at Lani with a smirk on my face. “You know what, your dad is right for once.”

Heavy footsteps echoed throughout the lower level of our home as Henry exited the kitchen to enter the living room where Lani and I sat. He held a similar smile to the one I wore when mocking his correctness. “Is this how you discipline our daughter when I’m not around? Throw me under the bus?”

“Not exactly.”

“Goodness woman.” He chuckled, treading over to where we rested. He swung his legs around my shoulder to plop down behind me on the sofa and place his hands on my shoulders. “Everything good now?”

Although her original hairstyle was jacked up now due to the scissors, I continued rubbing my hands through her beautiful hair. “I think so. But before I tell you to go upstairs and start running your bath water, I want you to remember something: girls like Charlotte are not your friend.”

“Your mother is right Lani.”

My head tilted up slightly so I could toss him a smile of appreciation for backing me up. “Friends do not tell you to change how you look so you can hang out with them. They chose to be your friend and should deal with it. Do you understand?”

“I think so.” Although it was meant to be a statement, she answered it more of like a question.

“Can you try to repeat that back for Mommy and Daddy but in your own words?”

She rapidly nodded her head. “Um... Charlotte should play with me because she likes how I look?”

“That’s our girl!” Henry praised her with a pinch to her cheeks.

“That’s right. And if she tells you what to do again, you either tell the teacher or tell her to stop. Yes?”

“Yes.” She affirmed.

“Good. Now go run your bath water for Mommy and then I’ll be up to wash you before we eat dinner.”

As soon as she hopped off my thighs to disappear up the stairs, Henry wrapped his arms around my neck. His lips landed on my cheek for peck. “You handled that well.” He mumbled.

I gently massaged his forearms with my hands. “You think so?”

“Yes. I was expecting the worse. Yelling, maybe a pop or two.”

“Some people will think I’m the worst parent for restricting my daughter from doing such a thing as today but that’s the thing: she’s not their daughter. If she cuts her hair, I have to bend over backwards and find styles for her hair and I really don’t have the time for that.” I elaborated, a huff following right after. “She’s lucky she did this today because now, she has an excuse to see her auntie Marilyn.”

“Oh but your Saturday.” I wasn’t looking at him but I could hear the pout in his voice as he pressed another kiss to my skin but this time on my neck.

I deeply exhaled. “I know, I know. I’ll just reserve it for Sunday like we’re supposed to anyways.”

Silence filled the spacious room now. Within seconds, the faint sound of water hitting the hard surface of our bath tub upstairs interrupted the peace that had quickly formed between Henry and I.

“Now that I’ve given her the heart-to heart talk, it’s your turn to talk with Charlotte’s parents.”

“What? Why me?” He groaned like a child restricted to the confines of his home on a Friday evening.

“Because I can’t catch a case. That little girl pissed me off and I won’t be so nice if I talk to her parents. And even if I did play nice, they’d still say something. When it’s you, there’s less backlash.”

“I— dammit. You’re right.”

“Get to work Superman.” I playfully ordered as I stood up between his legs to stretch my cramped limbs. A giggle my lips as his hand lightly connected with my ass. I felt like a love struck high schooler all over again when I spun around to lean against his strong frame and place my hands on his pecs. “You’ve got some saving to do and for once, it’s not me.”

“Indeed I do.” He mumbled before leaning down to deeply kiss me.

#henry cavill #henry cavill imagines #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x woc reader #henry cavill x black reader #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x female reader

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imaginesmai · 4 years

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Tom Holland - True love kiss

This is long, this is perfect and I’m dying of fluff right here. Am I using my denial of Endgame in this fic? Yes. Tony, Peter and Morgan as a family was what we deserved. Enjoy!

Plot: “I tricked your little sister telling her Ursula has stolen my voice because I have a massive hangover, and now we have to kiss in order not to break her innocence”

Au were Tom works in Disney store, has a massive headache and can’t talk, and now he has lied to a little girl and she wants to get him a ‘true love kiss’; which happens to you, her older sister and Tom’s highschool crush.

“Dude, you look like shit”

Tom raised his head from where it was resting against the counter and gave Harrison the biggest glare of death that he could muster in his condition. The boy just returned a cheeky grin.

“Rough night?”

His head was pounding, his throat was dry, and more than anything at that point, Tom wished that the ground would just open up and swallow him whole, and put him out of his misery. When he had woken up that Sunday morning to his alarm blaring, his first instinct had been to call in sick. But after a few minutes of lazing around buried in blankets, his sense of guilt had kicked in, and with a groan, Tom had dutifully risen from his comfortable position and went in for his shift at the Disney Store.

There were some days when he cursed the fact that he had taken up the offer; so far away from his home, with shift too early in the morning. Normally, he swallowed the whines and put on a fake smile for the excited kids that ran around as soon as it opened. As soon as he closed his eyes again, Tom knew it was one of those days, where he would have to search deep inside the excitement to not to frown to those kids.

Last night, he had had the perfect idea to go to a party. His brother had begged him to go, and since the fucker didn’t have to work next morning, he kept Tom awake until the sun rose. He drank, he had fun and maybe flirted with a blonde – although he wasn’t sure. Then, he threw up in the toilet, drowned in headaches and swallowed the pills for the hangover.

And the worst part of it, was that last night activities involved yelling and laughing, and it had resulted in the morning’s hardship; his voice was practically gone, and all that was left was a pretty sore throat.

Tom let his head flop back against the counter, but raised his hand in a rude gesture for Harrison’s remark.

“Boy, are you grouchy when you’re hungover” he teased. Harrison stood, stretching his arms as prepared to leave, probably heading to his own job at the Nike store on the other side of the mall. “See you later, Tom”

Tom just made some recognition noise from the back of his throat.

The store was fairly quiet for a Sunday, something Tom was thankful for. There were a few kids roaming around, but a quick glance told Tom that his co-worker could more than handle it. Sometimes a break from dealing with customers was nice too. He spent the next couple of hours working at a relaxed pace, stocking shelves and making sure the displays were all neat and tidy.

“Hi, mister!”

At the sound of the sweet voice, Tom looked down to see a young girl standing next to him, giving him a wide toothless smile, and looking as cute as can be. Her hair was tied up in two braids, and she was dressed in a sparkly blue Elsa princess dress; if he had to say, she wasn’t older than four.

Tom smiled warmly at her and waved hello. He then lifted his eyes from the little girl and glanced around, frowning slightly when he noticed she was alone.

“Mommy and daddy are next door buying some diapers for our new baby brother, with my big big sister” she explained when she saw Tom’s questioning gaze. “They said we could wait here until they are finished. My big brother is over there looking at the Star Wars toys”

Tom looked over to where the girl was pointing, and sure enough there was a boy about sever, busy looking excited over the new Star Wars Millennium Falcon Lego set.

“Mommy said I can pick a toy for the new baby” the girl continued. “Can you help me get that Olaf? It’s too high and I can’t reach it”

Tom smiled and grabbed the plushie toy that the little girl was pointing at. His muscles screamed at him when he stretched his arm, but he didn’t mind; from the corner of his eye, he could see the little girl bouncing up and down. The smile on her face became even wider once he passed it to her, and she hugged the snowman to her chest. Tom chuckled soundlessly, and brought a hand to his throat. Maybe it was time for another glass of warm milk. Sure on the café down wouldn’t care.

“Thanks, mister!”

Swallowing down the hurt from being called mister for the second time one a day, Tom grinned and gave her a thumbs up. The girl’s expressions suddenly became concerned and she looked at him inquisitively. She tilted her hear slightly and a little furrow between her eyebrows formed as she stared at him intensely.

“Can’t you talk?”

Tom’s lips twitched and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing out loud. He couldn’t tell to a little girl that he couldn’t talk because he had screamed every bit of the songs of last night, and that, combined with cheap vodka, wasn’t a good choice. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders and pointed to his throat, shaking his head. The girl’s eyes widened.

“But why can’t you talk?”

Probably, if her parents would have been around she would have been scolded for asking such a question. But they weren’t, and Tom thought there wasn’t anything wrong with enjoying the attention that kid was willing to give him

Quickly, he took his notepad that was sitting by the cash register and wrote something down. He held it out to the little girl. She glanced at it, frowning cutely when she couldn’t make out any of the words he had written. Like if they were in a TV show, the girl closed her eyes tightly and yelled out for his brother. Tom almost jumped on his place from the strength and volume of that little girl voice.

A boy with short brown hair and a pout made its way where Tom was.

“What’s wrong, Morgan?”

“Peter!” the girl turned around, shoving the paper to his brother’s hands. “He can’t talk! Something is wrong! Can you read what he wrote?”

“My name is Tom” the boy read it out loud, giving Tom a weird glance. He looked then to his sister, who was looking at him as if he was reading the secret to immortality. “I can’t speak because – uh, because Ursula the sea, witch? Stole my voice, but I’m happy to assist you”

Morgan let out a gasp and, if possible, her eyes widened even more. She clutched Olaf even tighter to her chest, looking devastated at Tom’s predicament. Peter, on the other hand, didn’t look quite as convinced, looking at Tom doubtfully. Still, he didn’t say anything.

“I know how we can get your voice back!” Morgan tugged on Tom’s hand, and smiled brightly at him. “We need – We need to find your true love! You need true love’s kiss!”

“I don’t think that would work, Morgan” Peter announced. He didn’t sound too convinced, but Tom could see that his little mind was trying to work around the lie yet. “How do we even know Ursula is real? We’ve never seen her”

“Of course it would work. It worked with Ariel!” Morgan began pulling Tom around, giving a hard glare to his brother. “Ursula is very tricky. She could be hiding in plain sight and you would never know! Do you have a true love, Tom?”

Honestly, the boy was having more fun than at the party last night. Tom shook his head and allowed the girl to begin dragging him around the store, stopping after taking just a few steps. He watched as Morgan surveyed their surrounded, Peter watching too even if he tried to hide it. There weren’t much people on the store, just two couples and their children.

“We are going to find your true love. Everyone has one!” Morgan seemed convinced; and his brother didn’t seem to need much more, since he had a excited smile too.

“Maybe we can go to the food court!” Peter chimed in, now completely caught up in the situation. “There’s always lots of people there!”

The idea of the two children leaving the store with him made him pale. As harmless as he thought his little joke was in the beginning, he clearly hadn’t thought things through. If he was seen with two kids on the mall, if the parents saw him with their kids, he could be in so much trouble he didn’t want to think off. Even if the kids hand bright expressions on their faced, Tom thought it wouldn’t hurt to force his voice one more time to avoid being fired.

Before he could cough out the rawness of his throat, another voice appeared.

“Morgan! Peter! Time to leave!” a man’s voice echoed through the shop, and Tom let out a relieved breath. Both kids looked extremely disappointed as their father appeared and beckoned them towards him. “We’re gonna grab some lunch – your mother is already waiting for us at the food court with Y/N”

The siblings looked at each other with glee, and Morgan let go of Tom’s hand to run to his father.

“Daddy! Daddy, Tom has to come with us! We need to find his true love!”

The man, who had dark sunglasses on and the same brown eyes than his kids, gave Tom a confused look. And Tom understood; kids brought home stray cats or dogs, not full grown men to look for their love. However, the man didn’t seem to react in a scandalous way, just tightened his tie and let his son speak.

“Ursula stole his voice” Peter added. “We have to help him get it back!”

“Please, daddy! Can he come? Can he come?” Morgan jumped up and down, begging. Cooper walked forwards too, and started to fill the man’s cheeks, covered by a black goatee with kisses.

“Morg, honey” the man began slowly, pushing his kids away. “Uh, this boy had to work, he can’t just up and leave. He has responsibilities here. What do we day about responsible, Pete?”

“That it’s important” Peter answered, pouting.

The man gave a whole speech that had Tom with wide eyes; even if he wasn’t specially tall, or strong, he held a determination in his voice that he hadn’t heard in anyone. After promising that Tom would be okay without a voice for another week, since they would come back just for him, the kids left with their father. Both of them gave Tom a big hug and promised a thousand times that they would come back.

That kind of innocence was pure, and if a five minute interaction could help them to keep that innocence even longer; well, Tom was willing to promise them back that he could wait.

After all, what could it hurt?

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Ninety minutes later, Tom was feeling a lot better. His headache was gone – courtesy of Harrison, who had taken pity of him and given him some Advil and a nice, streaming mug of tea, which helped to sooth his throat. His voice was even starting to come back, albeit it was accompanied with a slight rasp. All in all, he felt like a normal functioning human being.

The store had slowed down in activity even more; the bright and sunny day was then dark and with ominous rain clouds rolling in. Tom was almost sure that it wouldn’t hurt anyone to go home before he had to shower in cold water when it started to rain.

Pounding footsteps were suddenly heard echoing from the hallway, and Tom looked up just in time to see Peter appearing at the front entrance. Peter spotted him and squealed with excitement, whipping around to wave.

“He’s still here, Morgan! I see him!”

“Hurry up, Y/N!”

At the sound of Morgan’s voice, Tom rounded the corner of the cashier desk and frowned. Behind him, he could hear Harrison, who was lazily hanging around, begin to snicker as he watched. He already knew what had happened with the kids, and after a whole lot of teasing, Tom had regretted telling him.

Just then, Morgan appeared in his line of vision, pulling a young woman behind her by the hand. You just looked confused as you struggled with your shopping bags and the purse, all while trying to keep Morgan from running off without you. The second the little ball of energy saw Tom, she let go of your hand and went running up to him. Blinking the upcoming embarrassment, Tom bent down to one knee so that he could be at eye level with Morgan.

“Hi Tom!” Morgan greeted enthusiastically. “We thought – we thought that if you couldn’t go and find your true love we could bring her to you! This is my sister, Y/N, and she can be your true love!”

As you stepped closer to him, Tom looked up – and felt his mouth go dry. His stomach fluttered when he recognized you. You had never talked in person, but it was hard not to notice when Y/N Stark walked into the room. You had shared a couple of classes together back in highschool, and Tom sat directly behind you in your biology class. He wasn’t that much of a genius, but thanks to you he passed all the classes; and it was really a miracle, because young Tom spent all his time staring at you.

He could almost remember the stuttering when you talked, the burning heat on his cheeks and how sad he was when he learned that you had moved away. Now that he thought about that, he had already met Peter as a baby, and your father a couple of times. How could he forget his forever crush?

“Didn’t you guys want to go to the arcade?” you asked, your voice sweet and gentle as he remembered. “It’s on the other side of the mall”

“Y/N” Peter talked “We have to ask you something really important”

Panic filled Tom. He desperately wracked his brain, trying to come up with a way to stop the kids before they could embarrass him to the next decade.

“Can you be Tom’s true love?” Morgan and Peter asked at the same time, slightly unrhythmical.

For the second time that day, Tom wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole, never to be seen again. His cheeks turned red and his ears pink, and he wanted to bash his head against the counter.

“W-what?” you asked. Your gaze landed on him and he could see the recognition flashing through your eyes. The smile that appeared on your face made the whole situation more embarrassment. “Tom! It had been ages since I saw you!”

Tom nodded dumbly.

“Y/N!” Morgan stamped her foot impatiently and your attention landed on your little sister once more. “This is really important!”

“Ursula might come back, Y/N!” Peter backed up. Tom wasn’t sure who was more invested in the story, if the big brother or the little sister. “Can you be his true love or not? He doesn’t have all day!”

“Who the f -uh, who is Ursula?” you gave a confused glance to Tom, who was still kneeling on the ground frozen because I could fucking faint.

“The evil sea witch” Morgan rolled her eyes, slumping her shoulders as if you were the most annoying thing in her short life. She showed you the pad of paper with Tom’s note written on it. “Remember, Y/N? She stole Ariel’s voice. And now she took Tom’s voice, and the only way to get it back is if he finds his true love!”

Tom could hear Harrison laughing his ass off on the background. His friend for sure knew who you were, as Tom couldn’t stop talking about you even years after you left, so the situation was hilarious for the blonde. Meanwhile, Tom was feeling everything moving in a slow motion, the headache back and his palms sweaty. He had the prettiest girl he could think of in front of him, with a note that confirmed his implication on the true love thing. If you slapped him and called him a creep, he wouldn’t blame you.

But the smile didn’t fell from your lips, it just transformed into a little laugh. You tried to cover it up with a cough and brought your hand to your mouth. Tom could see the happy shine in your eyes, the same he had enjoyed when he was in highschool and made you laugh. Even if it wasn’t going as bad as it could, Tom was sure he wouldn’t be calling you to meet up, as much as it hurt him; more like changing cities and avoiding you like the plague. Forger ever mucking up the courage to ask you on a date.

“Yeah, I can” your voice pulled him from his thoughts, and he started at you in disbelief as you smirked down at him. Your hair was shorter, your features more mature and you were a bit taller; but he felt like he was all over that nervous boy that followed you through the corridors in hopes of you noticing him.

“Really?!” Morgan squealed, her wide toothless smile lit up her entire face.

“Only because you ask me and because you’re gonna eat all your veggies tonight” you tapped both of your siblings’ noses and laughed when a defeated sigh left their mouth. Then, you looked down at Tom and raised a brow. “Tom is going to have to stand up, though”

There was no way you could be serous about that. There was no way his crush from highschool, who he hadn’t seen in years, was asking him to stand up to kiss him. Not Harrison, who had stopped laughing behind Tom and was looking at the scene with wide eyes. Not your siblings, who were waiting for him to move. No, you were talking to Tom and Tom was having a heart attack.

“Tom, come on!” Peter urged him, tugging on his sleeve. For such a small boy, your brother was strong.

The whole thing was more than a little weird, but Tom wasn’t that stupid to deny the opportunity that it presented. And if there was one thing that could be said about Tom, was that he was fucking in love with you he never backed down. Even if it was going to blow up in his face.

Up close, he was able to notice the little details that he otherwise would have missed. You smelled so good that he had to stop himself from sniffling. Your eyes were brighter, and your hair was the same colour he remembered. He looked to the small mole that he had found years ago, and it was in the same place; so were the wrinkles around your eyes and the dimple on your cheek. You tucked your hair behind your ear, and Tom could see himself studying the last history test on his bed, his mother knocking on the door to see if everything was alright and hearing her giggling when Tom stuttered.

“You really have to make it a special kiss” Morgan instructed, dead serious. “Like the kind of kisses that daddy gives mommy sometimes. A real true love’s kiss!”

“Alright” you nodded, stepping closer.

Gently, you grasped the lapels of his store vest and pulled him even closer, so that your bodies touched each other. Tom leaned in automatically, his head dropping and your lips slanting together. It wasn’t as hard as he thought, as his arms wrapped around your waist and you kissed him once, twice, three times. It wasn’t the first time he had been kissed, but without a doubt, it was easily the best kiss of his life.

Your body felt warm against him, or maybe it was the nerves, and he realized that you fitted perfectly together. Your noses didn’t touch, your hand seemed to belong to the back of his neck and even the heights were perfect for each other. Tom was about to melt in the ground, when you teared apart.

He seemed them to see the two kids looking at you with wide eyes and mouth open, Harrison on his side vision with the phone on his ear and whispering-talking excitedly. You blushing and tucking your hands in the pockets of your jacket, looking down.

“Now try talking, Tom!” Morgan said, her voice sounding impossibly loud in the empty store. Tom had never been so thankful that there were no customers around.

“Uh” Tom ran a hand through his head, floundering for words.

Tom let his eyes go back to you, and your gazes met. He tuned out the kids urging him to talk, and cherished how you didn’t look ready to run off and call the police on him. It wasn’t probably the best way to ask, since you hadn’t seen each other for years and you had kissed because of a shitty tale told to a little girl as an excuse for his hangover.

But, what else could he lose? After all, in fairy tales everyone had a happy ending; and he couldn’t let the two main characters hanging.

“What about a date?”

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sweetness47 · 3 years

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The Sleeping Beauty

Pairing Sam x Reader

@spnfluffbingo square filled: fairy tale AU

Warnings: nothing really, I don’t think anyways. Implied smut at the end? Mild violent scenes. Nothing too descriptive anywhere.

Final word count: 1924

Sam brought his arm around YN, smiling as she settled into his warm embrace. They were just hanging around, channel flipping, enjoying the quiet evening. Dean was at the bar, and Cas had gone with him, it was almost like a date, but neither would admit such a thing.

YN shivered as Sam traced along her arm, the touch so feathery soft, yet spoke volumes to the thoughts going through his mind. One of the things she liked about Sam was his quiet demeanor, the way caressed her with a mere look, undressed her with his eyes. The thoughts that danced across his beautiful hazel orbs every time he looked at her, like she was a goddess, and he worshipped the ground she walked on, they made her feel like she could do anything as long as she had him.

They gazed at each other, lost in their silent caresses, too entranced to notice the lights flicker. There was a storm outside, so it would have been shrugged off as coincidence, until the TV went wonky, the picture flitting off and on, landing briefly on the screen of death, then landing on a movie.

“Sam, weren’t we watching Food network? How did we end up on Disney?”

Sam glanced at YN, then at the tv. Frowning, he looked back at his love. “No idea, must be some weird effect from the storm. Anyways, its one of your favorites. We can watch it if you want.”

He knew her well. Sleeping Beauty was indeed one of her all time favorite Disney classics. She was a sucker for romance and brave heroes.

YN snuggled closer to Sam. “Ok. Can you turn it up a bit though? It’s really quiet.”

No sooner did Sam touch the remote, a brilliant white light lit the entire room, and when it had subsided, Sam and YN were no longer there.

YN woke feeling strange, but she couldn’t figure out why. She also had no clue as to why she could hear birds chirping and smell fresh forest air. It was that moment her eyes flew open, noting she wasn’t in her bed, neither was she in her house.

In fact, she was most definitely not in her realm.

She was a cartoon, and not just any cartoon, but she was in fact, Princess Aurora.

But where was Sam? How did they get there? And how on Earth were they ever going to get home?

Sam woke standing in a stable, beside a horse. A cartoon horse. Running over to the fresh bucket of water, he glanced at his reflection and was shocked to see he was a cartoon. He was in Sleeping Beauty. He was Prince Philip, actually.

Maybe, YN was Aurora.

But how did this happen? He remembered when he had been transported with Dean and Cas into Scooby Doo, so maybe this was the same kind of deal. As long as they played out the story, they should be returned to their world at the end.

He just had to make sure he didn’t die, and that YN was unharmed as well. He’d only seen this particular movie a couple of times, but he knew the basics. It looked like they had come into the movie about midway, where Phillip is getting ready to go riding in the forest, and meets Aurora for the first time.

He saddled Samson and easily swung up onto the horse. He paced his ride to a slow trot, enjoying the natural sounds of the forest, but also listening for the musical voice that would lead him to YN/Aurora. He had heard her sing to many of the Disney films they’d watched over the years, and knew she could carry a tune fairly well. His opinion might be somewhat bias but in his heart he knew she was more than capable of playing this role.

YN, having seen this movie many times, played the role of Briar Rose perfectly. She was sent by the fairies to pick berries in the woods. She strolled along the paths, feeling the grass tickle her feet as she walked. For fun, she decided to see if she could really sing like the princess in the film, so she began humming, then quietly singing lines about animals having someone to love, yet she remained single. Her heart hoped the Prince was Sam, because he was who she desired the most.

As expected, the lovebirds finally find each other. Sam practically leaps off the horse and catches YN in his arms as she meets him halfway. They dance along the grassy meadow and sing together, gazing into each other’s eyes lovingly.

They know they can’t stay there, or run away together, if they want to go back to their own world, so Sam and YN reluctantly part ways, promising to finish the story so they can live happily ever after. Together in each other’s arms, forever.

YN returns to the cottage in the glen and finds the surprise dress and birthday cake her guardians have made. They then tell her the truth of her identity, and YN feels her heart break as she pretends to be distraught over the thought of never seeing the young man she met in the forest. Dressed in the beautiful blue gown, and covered in a blue cloak, the three fairies carefully lead the princess to her home and to her parents.

Once there, they lead her to a secluded room so they can keep her safe till the sun has set, thereby foiling the prophecy Maleficent had bestowed upon Aurora when she was a baby. The three of them combined their magic to create a beautiful crown to place upon YN’s head. She looked at the golden tiara and broke down into sobs, her head resting upon her arm on her dresser as she shed tears for her beloved.

When the fairies left her alone for a few minutes, YN knew what would come next, but the trance caused by the green orb took away all her sorrows, but also took away her free will. It was like watching from outside her body. Her mind was being controlled, but she still had her own consciousness. Ever so slowly, she climbed the steps to the top tower, where her fate awaited.

The princess entered the room the orb had coaxed her to, and walked toward the spinning wheel that stood in the middle of the floor. She could hear a menacing voice telling her to touch the spindle of the spinning wheel, but she hesitated briefly, then as the voice in her head grew more demanding, she could no longer resist.

The last thing she remembered was pricking her finger on the sharp point, her body crumpling to the ground as a deep slumber overtook her.

Sam made his way to the cottage he’d been ‘invited to’ by YN, but he couldn’t exactly remember what would happen next. He knew Phillip would get captured by Maleficent, and that it would be soon, but when he knocked on the cottage and stepped in, he wasn’t prepared to be overcome so quickly. The evil hordes quickly tied him up and took him away, his anger rising as the evil witch laughed at him.

Chained to the dungeon wall in Maleficent’s home, he listened to her goad him, telling him she would release him in 100 years to rescue his love, then laughing at him as he struggled to break free and kill her.

Once she left him, the three fairies, who had found Aurora lying on the ground in the tower, snuck inside the forbidden mountain where the evil witch resided, and freed Phillip from the chains. Bestowing upon him the Shield of Faith and the Mighty Sword of Truth, they led him to freedom and, after freeing Samson, they helped him escape.

Maleficent heard the commotion and was beyond angry at the incompetence of her minions. She sent a cursed wall of thorns to stop Sam from getting to the castle, but the sword he’d been gifted with cut the magical weeds with ease. He would take on the world if it meant rescuing his beloved YN.

When the thorns failed to stop him, Maleficent appeared before Phillip and spoke these words, “Now shall you deal with me, O Prince, and all the powers of hell!”

With a maniacal laugh, the witch changed, grew, and there before Sam stood a large black dragon. Sam charged at the dragon, and was met with a fiery blast. The shield easily protected him, and Phillip jumped off his horse to fight the great beast. Maleficent snapped her jaws at him, breathed fire at him, but the prince remained strong and vigilant.

When a rather powerful blast knocked Phillip’s shield away, Maleficent laughed and reveled in her almost victory. He wouldn’t survive now that he had no shield. But while she laughed, the three good fairies enchanted the Sword of truth:

O Sword of Truth, fly swift and sure,

That evil die and good endure!

When they finished the spell, Sam threw the sword at the large dragon, piercing her heart. With a great cry, the evil Maleficent fell to her death, never to darken the kingdom again.

With her death, the thorns and fire disappeared, allowing Sam to enter the castle and seek out YN. He reached the room where the fairies had laid her down on a soft bed, and bent down to capture her lips in a gentle kiss. YN woke, smiling as she gazed into her lover’s eyes.

They made their way to the grand ball room and paid respect to the king and queen, YN rushing to embrace her ‘parents’. Then the prince and princess danced and shared a kiss, and lived happily ever after.

As they kissed, lights flashed, blinding them, and they held on to each other, hoping they were going back home.

Sam and YN opened their eyes and found themselves back in the living room, the tv back on the Food channel and everything back to normal. They remembered everything though. Sam cleared his throat, and looked at YN.

“That was interesting.” He commented.

“It was, definitely, and kinda fun.” She replied.

“It got me thinking YN. I don’t want to waste any more time just dating you. I love you. I want to marry you, have children with you, grow old with you. Say you’ll be mine.”

YN felt her eyes sting with happy tears. “Sam, I can’t imagine any part of my future where you are not in it. You complete me, and you’ve made me the happiest woman in the world. I love you so much, and I can’t wait to marry you, grow old with you, and have children with you.” She giggled as she said the last part. “Speaking of…I was going to tell you tonight anyways, but, um, we’ve already started the having children part.”

Sam’s eyes widened as her words caught up with him. “Really?”

The biggest grin she’d ever seen adorned his face as he joyously swung her around, planting kisses all over her face and neck. Picking her up bridal style, he took her to their room where he spent most of the night showing her how much he loved her.

@legion1993 @drkcnry67 @lyarr24 @idreamofplaid

#spnfluffbingo #fairy tale #sam winchester x reader

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papermoonloveslucy · 4 years

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TELEVISION aka GEORGE RUINS A NEIGHBOR’S TV aka THE TELEVISION SUIT

June 17, 1949

“Television” aka “George Ruins a Neighbor’s TV” aka “The Television Suit” is episode #49 of the CBS Radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on June 17, 1949. It later served as the basis for the “I Love Lucy” episode “The Courtroom” (ILL S2;E7) first aired November 10, 1952.

Synopsis ~ Liz and George's visit to their next-door neighbors, the Stones, turns into a disaster when George tries to repair the Stones' new television set by himself.

REGULAR CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born as Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father's garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz, a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) and Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) are mentioned, but not in this episode.

GUEST CAST

Hans Conried (The Process Server) first co-starred with Lucille Ball in The Big Street (1942). He then appeared on “I Love Lucy” as used furniture man Dan Jenkins in “Redecorating” (ILL S2;E8) and later that same season as Percy Livermore in “Lucy Hires an English Tutor” (ILL S2;E13) – both in 1952. The following year he began an association with Disney by voicing Captain Hook in Peter Pan. On “The Lucy Show” he played Professor Gitterman in “Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet” (TLS S1;E19) and in “Lucy Plays Cleopatra” (TLS S2;E1). He was probably best known as Uncle Tonoose on “Make Room for Daddy” starring Danny Thomas, which was filmed on the Desilu lot. He joined Thomas on a season 6 episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1973.

Frank Nelson (Frank Stone) was born on May 6, 1911 (three months before Lucille Ball) in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He started working as a radio announcer at the age of 15. He later appeared on such popular radio shows as “The Great Gildersleeve,” “Burns and Allen,” and “Fibber McGee & Molly”. This is one of his 11 performances on “My Favorite Husband.” On “I Love Lucy” he holds the distinction of being the only actor to play two recurring roles: Freddie Fillmore and Ralph Ramsey, as well as six one-off characters, including the frazzled train conductor in “The Great Train Robbery” (ILL S5;E5), a character he repeated on “The Lucy Show.” Aside from Lucille Ball, Nelson is perhaps most associated with Jack Benny and was a fifteen-year regular on his radio and television programs.

Mary Lansing (Mary Stone) was best known for playing Martha Clark and ten other characters in Mayberry on “The Andy Griffith Show” and “Mayberry R.F.D.”, both filmed at Desilu. Lucy lovers might remember her as the voice of weepy Cynthia in “Over The Teacups”, the Broadway play that the Ricardos and Mertzes attend in “Ethel’s Birthday” (ILL S4;E9). She met Frank Nelson performing on radio. They married in 1933 and had two children. Lansing appeared with him frequently on the "Jack Benny Program" during the 1950s.

Alan Reed (Harry, the Judge) is probably best remembered as the voice of Fred Flintstone where he acted opposite Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury), who voiced Betty Rubble on the animated series. His only television appearance with Lucille Ball was on “The Lucy Show” in 1963, an episode which also featured Frank Nelson. In 1967, he did an episode of the Desi Arnaz series “The Mothers-in-Law”.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. When Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George's boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, on air concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown. In addition to being aired on the CBS Radio Network, the episodes were heard on the Armed Forces Radio Network, where the commercials were omitted.

THE EPISODE

“Television throws ‘My Favorite Husband’ for a loss, and the whole neighborhood into night courts.” ~ Mason City Globe-Gazette radio listing

As the episode opens, Liz and George are discussing their upcoming summer vacation. Liz has packed five suitcases - just for herself.

George is concerned that Liz’s swimsuit may be too skimpy, a subject explored again in “LIz Learns To Swim” (June 11, 1950) as well as on a couple of episodes of “I Love Lucy.”

Liz and George realize that they do not know any of their neighbors well enough to ask them to water their lawn while they are away. Liz knows the first names (Frank and Mary) of the Stones next door because she read a postcard that was accidentally delivered to their house. George says that he hopes Liz didn’t read the message, but Liz lets it slip that “Mrs. Stone’s mother had a lumbago attack at Lake Tahoe.” On “I Love Lucy” Fred Mertz also chastised his wife about reading postcards delivered to their tenants. In 1951′s “Drafted” (ILL S1;E11) Fred say about Ethel...

FRED: “Some people build model airplanes. Ethel reads postcards.”

At the Stone home, Frank and Mary welcome the Coopers. Frank Nelson (Mr. Stone) does his trademark “Weeeeeell!” and the audience laughs, recognizing it from “The Jack Benny Program.” Mrs. Stone (Mary Lansing) asks if they would like to watch television. The Coopers do not yet own a television set, but Liz casually remarks that they don’t miss it.

LIZ: “I crawl in the Bendix and sing and George watches me through the little window.”

The Bendix Corporation (1924-1983) licensed their name to a line of electric clothes washing machines. The 1937 Bendix Home Laundry had a glass porthole door, a rotating drum and an electrically driven mechanical timer. The machine was able to auto-fill, wash, rinse and spin-dry. Bendix Home Appliances was later sold to Avco who sold it to Philco.

In 1952, Lucille Ball actually played a talking washing machine in a full-length Westinghouse industrial film called Ellis in Freedomland.

Six years later, when Desilu partnered with Westinghouse to present “The Westinghouse-Desilu Playhouse,” Ball did another industrial film for them titled Lucy Buys Westinghouse where she actually got inside the machine, fulfilling Liz Cooper’s off-the-cuff comment of 1949.

The idea of Liz pretending to be performing on television by getting inside a household appliance also recalls when Lucy Ricardo hollowed out their television set to help Ricky picture her doing a TV commercial in the now-famous Vitameatavegamin episode of 1952.

On “I Love Lucy”, it was the Mertzes who did not yet own a television set. By the end of 1949, 4.2 million US homes had a television. By 1953, 50% of all American households owned one. The increase was credited to “I Love Lucy” and the 1953 Republican and Democratic National Conventions.

Frank turns on his TV and after it warms up (a common problem with early televisions), the only program on any station seems to be wrestling. One channel is actually airing lady wrestling!

MARY: “Oh, they have more than wrestling, Mrs. Cooper. Sometimes they have boxing and baseball.”

Televised sports, especially wrestling and boxing, were the primary attraction in the early days of television, especially for male viewers. Long-haired blonde wrestler Gorgeous George was even mentioned on “I Love Lucy.”

ETHEL: “Our grandmothers must have had arms like Gorgeous George.” ~ ‘Pioneer Women’

In “Ricky’s Movie Offer” (ILL S4;E6) the Grocery Boy asks Lucy what she’s supposed to be in her Marilyn Monroe dress and wig, Fred quips “Gorgeous George.”

Nearly every time Ricky and Fred watch television it is to see a boxing match, such as in “Ricky and Fred are TV Fans” (ILL S2;E30) in 1953. That episode, like this radio broadcast, also featured Frank Nelson.

When the TV reception is fuzzy, Frank and George feel they can fix it themselves, much to the disbelief of their wives. Frank takes the back off the set:

FRANK (reading): “Back of this set should be removed by a qualified television repairman only.”

On “I Love Lucy” the warning is similar:

FRED (reading): “Danger! High Voltage! Do not remove this back under any circumstances!”

Both Frank and George and Ricky and Fred cause their sets to explode by fooling around with some loose wires! The wrecked TV results in name calling by both couples and the Stones / Mertzes threaten to sue the Coopers / Ricardos.

Next morning at breakfast, the Coopers are worried that a lawsuit will prevent them from going on vacation. Katy the Maid reports that there is a strange man at the door, whom they immediately suspect may be a process server. Liz tells Katie to lie and say that they are away for a fortnight in the Catskills. Katie answers the door nervously,

KATIE: “They left for a catnap in the Fortskills. I mean a nightcap in the Footskills.”

The Process Server (Hans Conried) surprises the Coopers when they sneak out the back door. They have been served!

TRIVIA! Ironically, on TV the Process Server (Harry Bartell) at first asks the Ricardos where the Lewis apartment is, to throw them off the track. On “I Love Lucy,” Miss Lewis was an elderly tenant played for one episode (”Lucy Plays Cupid”) by Bea Benadaret, the actress who usually plays Iris Atterbury on “My Favorite Husband,” although she is not in this episode. Hans Conried appeared as Dan Jenkins and Percy Livermore on “I Love Lucy,” episodes that book-ended “The Courtroom” during season two!

George writes out Liz’s testimony, including stage directions telling her when to flirt with the Judge. Ricky Ricardo and Fred Mertz do the same thing on “I Love Lucy.” When Liz rehearses her testimony aloud, she states the date and time of the event as “June 13, 1949 at approximately 7:35pm” which was the real time and date of the broadcast. To keep the television version from becoming ‘dated’ - any reference to dates is purposefully omitted. Lucy instead tells the Judge (Moroni Olsen) the events happened “about three weeks ago.”

In the courtroom, George and Frank act as their own attorneys just as Ricky and Fred will do in “The Courtroom”. For economy sake, the radio script omits the character of the Bailiff who swears in the witnesses, although the character is part of the television script. Both scripts also include the flirtatious ‘stage directions’ for Lucy and Liz to appeal to the Judge’s vanity.

LIZ: “...when Mr. Stone suggested we watch television flutter eyelids at jury.”

On television, Lucy hikes up her skirts instead of fluttering her eyelids. Since TV is a visual medium, during her testimony she just does it, rather than says it.

TRIVIA: When the Ricardos and the Mertzes go to court again in “Lucy Makes Way for Danny” on the “Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”, the judge who Lucy and Ethel try to flirt with by hiking up their skirts is played by Gale Gordon, who usually plays Rudolph Atterbury on “My Favorite Husband,” although he is not in this episode.

The final gag of the Judge’s TV also exploding is the same on radio and TV, except Liz intimates that they are headed for the city jail instead of the happy ending on television where the Judge encourages the couples to forgive one another and sends them home friends.

CODA

George and Liz are in bed and George cannot sleep. Liz encourages him to yawn to induce sleep. It works! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

#My Favorite Husband #Lucille Ball #Gale Gordon #Bea Benadaret #I Love Lucy #the courtroom #television #The Television Suit #Frank Nelson #Mary Lansing #Alan Reed #Bob LeMond #Ruth Perrott #The Lucy Desi Comedy Hour #Bendix Company #Harry Bartell #Desi Aranz #William Frawley #Vivian Vance

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theoddcatlady · 6 years

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Granny

My granny was a terrible person.

A crotchety old woman that was hardly over one hundred pounds soaking wet, she would sit in her rocking chair all day long and scowl while watching her TV game shows. She looked like a skeleton with cracked leather clinging to her bones and wisps of colorless hair sticking out from a mostly bald scalp. And she was mean. If I tried to play Legos in the living room?

“You better clean those up, boy, or you’ll regret the day you were born!”

If I laughed too loudly at whatever TV program was on?

“Stop that racket! That junk will rot your brain!”

If I so much as walked too fast?

“Quit rough housing or else!”

And that ‘or else’ wasn’t an empty threat. Granny had a big cane she carried, a dark redwood one with a raven’s head for the handle. I’m pretty sure she could’ve just used a walker to get around the house, she just liked the impression the big ole cane gave off. When she walked about, she’d smack it down with each step, hard enough to make the floor shake. If she wanted to be sneaky though she’d not made a peep until she was right behind you. Then, with her acidic voice and stale breath, she’d whisper into your ear,

“And just what do you think you’re doing?”

I wasn’t a bad child. Not really. I didn’t get a chance to be. But Granny made me so nervous I’d often forget to do things, like pick up my toys or not run indoors. And when Granny caught me, oh I’d really would regret the day I was born.

Granny didn’t just spank you with her hand. She used that cane, and she’d take it across your back and your butt with all the strength in her shriveled body. It only took one whack to make you never want to sit again, and she usually brought it down three or four times. Never while mom or dad was around though. Nope. They never got to see the spankings. Granny was too clever, I suppose she knew they wouldn’t stand for that.

I hated my grandmother. From a young age I knew I hated her. She wasn’t ever involved in my life except to cause me pain and humiliation. Invitations to school recitals and plays were met with scoffs. I actually tried a few times to have her come, maybe getting out of the damn house would make her lighten up a bit.

Nope. She would laugh and say, “I’d rather jab my ears out with an ice pick than hear you screech on stage while calling it music, Alan.”

She wasn’t quite so cruel when mom was in hearing distance, but she still wasn’t kind about it. It was a nightmare. I’d go to bed crying and I’d never have friends over. I was too ashamed and I had no doubt that in one way or another Granny would drive them away.

I only had the courage to bring over a friend one time. Kendra Reilly.

She was a fun girl, with red pigtails tied with neon green scrunchies and glasses with round lenses and cheetah print frames. She was amazing. We both liked to sit on the swings and sing during recess. We’d hold little concerts. Kendra, being the goofball she was, would ask for tips afterwards in the form of desserts or crackers. Shockingly that sometimes worked, but she always made sure to split them evenly with me. It was half my work after all, according to Kendra.

I thought maybe it’d be okay to invite her over just once. Granny was laid up in bed more often than not at the time and I figured, why not?

I walked in and was immediately met with Granny’s loud screeching voice, “Wipe off your feet on the mat or else!”

Kendra’s eyes went wide and my heart sank. “Let’s just go play in my room,” I whispered before taking her hand and sneaking past Granny. She didn’t seem to notice that there were two pairs of soft footsteps going up the stairs, she was too focused on Family Feud.

Once we were away from Granny things got better again. I turned on my Disney music and we sang along, Kendra talked about a funny dream she had last night, when it was just us it was fun.

Then my door slammed open and there was my Granny. She took one look at Kendra and her face went red as tomato sauce.

“Why is there a girl in your room?!” She shrieked before slapping me across the face, hard enough to leave a handprint.

I was only nine years old at the time. I immediately burst into tears. “I’m sorry Granny! We just… just wanted to play…”

My sniffles went unheard as Granny grabbed Kendra by the ear and started yanking her out the door. “Come here, you little hussy! Going into boy’s rooms at your age, you’re going to end up barefoot and pregnant before you’re sixteen!” Kendra started to scream and tried to pull away but Granny was unrelenting.

I think I finally snapped. I was so tired of the years of torment, all the times I felt ashamed of having such a cruel grandmother, and seeing her attack one of my only friends just pushed me over my limit.

I didn’t shove her hard, just rough enough so she’d let go. Granny fell back on her butt with a yelp and then she clutched her chest.

“Oh! My heart! My heart!”

At first I thought she was being overdramatic, that she was trying to make me seem like some sort of monster child so my parents would ground me. But she wasn’t. Her face went gray before her eyes rolled back and she passed out.

Granny survived two days in the hospital before finally passing away.

I was torn between the feeling of finally being free and the grief that I was the one who caused her heart attack. Kendra and I lied, saying that Granny just marched upstairs, started shouting, and then she had the heart attack. Nothing about me shoving her.

My parents were quiet during the funeral. I somehow fell asleep to the minister’s monotone voice. Had horrible nightmares in which Granny burst from the coffin and wrung my neck screaming about how I murdered her. I woke up and had to excuse myself to the restroom, I’d wet myself in fear.

The next week was quiet. I was so used to Granny watching game shows or her shouting at me for something I had done. It was almost relaxing.

I should’ve known the peace was at an end when I came home to find my mother sobbing at the kitchen table while my father was resting a hand on her back. I heard her say, “I thought she was gone this time!” before I finally looked at the stove.

A woman with dark hair in a tight bun and wearing a long black dress with a high neck was stirring some sort of soup. Judging by the smell it was cabbage. She turned to me, her eyes fastened on me like a hawk on its prey.

“Alan, you’re late for dinner. I expect you to be home at five PM every week day. Where’s your homework?”

My mother wailed before burying her face in her hands. I looked beside the woman at the stove, where something was resting against the counter.

A cane with a raven’s head for the handle.

And suddenly I recognized the woman standing there at the stove cooking dinner.

That night ‘Granny’ came into my room. I was numb with shock. I didn’t understand. Was this really Granny? Was it a clone? Or was this some warped dream?

The door creaked open and I nearly hid under my bed as the dark haired woman walked into my room, her head held high. I pulled the blankets over me as I shook. I thought I was going to die.

When I looked into her eyes, I knew she was truly Granny. Gray like cement and colder than dry ice. Granny glided across the room before she sat at the foot of my bed. She rested her chin on her cane, seemingly lost in thought for several minutes before she chuckled.

“You’re a lot like your mother you know. She actually put rat poison in my breakfast. She wanted me gone too.”

I didn’t say anything.

Granny’s gaze rested on me again and her mouth was twisted in a morbid smirk.

“I only want what’s best for you, Alan. When you listen to me, things will go according to plan. I suppose I just have to be stricter with you. Now, I expect you to be home by five every day. Call me Nanny now, your mother hired me to take care of you because of what happened to your poor grandmother. Start bringing Kendra with you- are you listening or are you nodding off?”

I couldn’t have fallen asleep even if I tried, I bobbed my head up and down frantically.

“Good boy. Start bringing Kendra here. Not to your room. Girls that want to be in boy’s rooms by that age are no good. Don’t give her any ideas but keep her around. Keep your grades above a B or you’ll be punished. Your room must be clean before you leave the house. When you start going out on the weekends, you must give me a week’s notice and perform extra well in your chores. And don’t you try to get rid of me. You won’t like it when I come back. Is that clear, Alan?”

I opened my mouth but what came out was, “What will happen if I don’t listen to you?”

Granny laughed. A creepy, flat sound that scratched my ears and made the hair stand up on my neck.

“You’ll lose your privileges. Your mother used to be able to have a job, go out on Saturday nights, be married so someone she loved… be allowed two children. She lost those privileges. As long as you listen, Alan, you won’t ever have to fear losing your privileges.”

I’m now eighteen. Nanny has ordered me to propose to Kendra tonight. We’re only kids. We’re in love. But we’re not ready.

But I don’t want to lose any more of my privileges.

#horror stories #scary stories #creepypasta #writers on tumblr #creative writing #my stories

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itsblosseybitch · 5 years

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Off-Hollywood Producers: Interviews with Griffin Dunne & Amy Robinson by Clarke Taylor (Sept 1985; Part 1)

It could be said of Griffin Dunne and Amy Robinson that, as producers, they represent the refined essence of what independent film-making in America, in 1985, is all about. By their own admission, they live “charmed lives” as producers. They have managed to make the movies they wanted to make, the way they wanted to make them: humane films about people living and struggling through their particular time, made on single-digit budgets--from $2.5 million to $4 million ($5.9 million to $9.5 million in 2019) --unheard of these days in Hollywood. (OP NOTE: God damn this sentence aged well) And they are doing all of this at a comfortable distance from Hollywood, in New York.

There were two films--Joan Micklin Silver’s Chilly Scenes of Winter (co-produced with Mark Metcalf), released by United Artists in 1979 as Head Over Heels, and re-released by UA Classics in 1982 with the original title of the Ann Beattie novel on which it was based, and John Sayles’s Baby, It’s You, distributed by Paramount in 1983. Now Dunne and Robinson are hoping that After Hours, directed by Martin Scorcese, will be their “breakthrough” film. Its $4 million budget was financed through a bank loan (as was Baby, It’s You) and was picked up by the David Geffen Company for distribution through Warner Bros.

After Hours in one way represents a synthesis of what Dunne and Robinson , both of whom started out as actors, say they want to do: focus on both the creative and the business side of film-making. For Dunne, who has pursued his acting career in films such as An American Werewolf in London, Johnny Dangerously, and Almost You, Scorcese’s new film may also mark a turning point. Dunne plays the leading role in the film, a nightmarish New York comedy, heading a cast that includes Teri Garr, Cheech and Chong, and Rosanna Arquette.

Whatever the outcome for Dunne, he and Robinson have two other feature films in development: The Foreigner, a comedy by Larry Shue, at Disney, and an untitled project at Lorimar, based on the producers’ own story idea about the children of sixties underground radicals. They are thinking about producing a third property, The Moonflower Vine, a “family saga” by Jetta Carlton, as a television miniseries.

(OP NOTE: The Foreigner never materialized, and so far, I have no information as to why. The film about sixties underground radicals would eventually become Running On Empty (1988), directed by Sidney Lumet and starring River Phoenix and Martha Plimpton. The Moonflower Vine didn’t materialize either, but I found a blog post by writer Kathleen Rowell about that project, who was going to adapt the screenplay.)

Question: How do you see yourself--as an actor or as a producer?

Griffin Dunne: I always see a hyphen between those two words. It’s just that one always takes precedence over the other, depending on the project. Certainly I’ve made very different choices as an actor than I have as a producer, up until now.

Question: How have the choices been different, and what do you mean, up until now?

Dunne: I’ve acted in films I would have never produced, and I haven’t been very selective, or taken the films very seriously. Often it’s been because of the pay, or because I’ve liked the people who were involved, or because I thought I might do a good enough job with the character I was playing to get the next job. I’ve cared much less about the overall movie, the director, or how well it might do at the box office. After Hours has revitalized my interest in acting: it’s really inspired me.

Question: This is what you mean when you talk about taking your future acting choices more seriously?

Dunne: Yes. With this film I think I’ve crossed the line that divided my acting and producing choices. Now, as an actor, I’m taking into consideration all the things I’ve always thought about as a producer: Am I repeating myself? What about the overall film? Who’s the director? I don’t want to make a nothing picture next, no matter how I might shine.

Question: You started out as an actor, rather than as a producer.

Dunne: Actually, I set out in another direction altogether. I wanted to be a journalist. But there was a guy at my boarding school [Fountain Valley, in Colorado] who talked me into auditioning for The Zoo Story, the Edward Albee play, and this changed my direction, my life. I got that part. It was at this same school where I got caught smoking dope and was kicked out. (OP NOTE: He also got cast in the school’s production of Othello, playing Iago. What I would give to see that)

Question: But you continued to act?

Dunne: Yes, back in Los Angeles I very quickly got roles in TV series, such as Mannix (OP NOTE: will have to track this one down), but I also realized that I was not going to learn how to act from television. I started studying, but I only lasted for about eight months. I enrolled in a kind of let-it-all-happen class, with a lot of weird people, including Miss Linda Lovelace. It was very unsatisfying, very disillusioning-it was a terrible class, that’s what I’m trying to say.

Question: What did you do?

Dunne: I headed for New York and enrolled at the Neighborhood Playhouse. I also started to go up on auditions, and in no time I got an audition for a segment of Kojak [the TV show]. It turned out I didn’t get the part, but at the time I thought everything was going to happen incredibly fast. Instead, for the next four years, I continued to read Backstage and go up on auditions for plays that never happened. I also waited on tables, which I hated more than anything.

Question: What was this period like for you?

Dunne: Very discouraging. There was this one woman with a long Russian name who claimed to be the writer and director of a new play, who was the first to say to me, “You’re going to be great.” She said I was perfect for the part she was casting in her play, so she sent all the other actors who had come to the open casting call home, and took me out for coffee. I soon realized that she was stark raving mad, and then I realized she was a bag lady. I also realized that anyone can hold open casting calls in an effort to meet people, although this is one trick I haven’t employed yet as a producer.

Question: It was during this period that you met Amy Robinson?

Dunne: Yes. I met Amy and Mark Metcalf, another actor, and eventually our co-producer on Chilly Scenes of Winter. None of us were getting much work, so to keep ourselves busy we tried to mount an off-off-Broadway production of a Sam Shepherd play, Cowboy Mouth. We never did. But one day Amy showed us Chilly Scenes, and we became interested in producing the film.

Question: Once Chilly Scenes was out of the way, did you set out on a plan of action to produce more, to act more?

Dunne: At that point, we had no game plan. We were just three actors who produced a movie. But interest was generated in us; suddenly, we were New York producers.

Question: Is there an advantage to being based in New York?

Dunne: Well, we’re here in part because there are fewer producers here. We’re also here because none of us wanted to live in Los Angeles; we go there to pitch our projects. But there are also a lot of creative people who are known here before they go to L.A. and become famous. We can also shoot a film on a smaller budget here because the NABET [The National Association of Broadcast Employees and Technicians] crews are here; we’ve used these crews on our last two films.

Question: Did either of you think of directing after Chilly Scenes, instead of producing, since you all came from the more creative side of the business?

Dunne: Our first inclination was to continue to produce; I don’t know why, except that we had no directing experience. Also, it was at the time Sylvester Stallone started to direct the Rocky films, and it seemed at every meeting [with a studio] someone would say, “Now, you don’t plan to direct...?”

Question: How did you come upon the script for After Hours?

Dunne: Amy was handed the script, which is by a first-time scriptwriter, Joe Minion, while she was lecturing at Sundance [Robert Redford’s film study center in Utah] a couple of years ago. She read it, saw it as a vehicle for me, and we optioned it. Naturally, I agreed that the role was for me.

Question: How did Martin Scorcese come into the picture, and how did you convince him that the role was for you?

Dunne: He simply seemed the perfect director, and he said yes. We then sat down to talk about casting, and some people we had in mind, such as Teri Garr, who’s in the film. I forget who was doing the talking--at some point, I blanked out--but Amy spoke up and said, “Griffin would like to play Paul.” He said fine, just like that.

Question: This is one example of when playing producer and actor pays off.

Dunne: Well, I think I’d come very close anyway, but there might have been some flavor-of-the-month actor who would have gotten the role, and luckily I didn’t have to deal with that.

Question: What was it like working with Scorcese?

Dunne: Well, it’s the largest role I’ve ever had, and unlike the other roles, where I’ve pretty much relied on my natural behavior, the character moves from A to Z--typical Scorcese anxiety-induced behavior. Scorcese’s also the first director I’ve worked with who understood the character as well as I.

I’ve never worked harder for anybody in my life, and I was filled with energy at the start of each new day. He makes great demands on you to get the scene right. Scorcese gets what he needs in the first or second take, but he might do a dozen more, just to see what might turn up. You don’t leave for the day until you’ve done the best work possible.

Question: It sounds as though Scorcese can be very demanding, even obsessive, to work with.

Dunne: Yes. But he’s also able to laugh at himself. For instance, Marty is allergic to cigarette smoking. There’s absolutely no smoking allowed on the set. He’d come on the set, and even if someone had been smoking hours before, he could smell it and would come on the set saying “Who’s smoking? Who’s smoking?” There was this one night--most all our shooting was night shooting in the Tribeca section of New York--during a scene in which my character came around the corner, scared to death of something that had been happening to him, sprawled on his knees, and screamed to the heavens, “What do you want from me?” Suddenly, from a window above the street, this woman stuck her head out and began shouting, “Shut up, shut up!” Of course, she ruined that take, but Marty noticed that a cigarette was hanging out of her mouth, and as though to add insult to injury, he yelled to the crew, “Tell that woman to put her cigarette out!”

Question: What is it about Scorcese that calls on the actor’s total commitment?

Dunne: Well, his enthusiasm is infectious. For instance, there was this one scene that required a Steadicam operator to run back and forth through aisles of desks in an office to the accompaniment of Mozart of a jaunty piece of Mozart that Marty had chosen. The guy was a new, young Steadicam operator, Larry McComkey, and working with Scorcese was a great opportunity for him. Anyway, after going through this scene once, carrying seventy pounds of equipment on his back, and sweaty and exhausted, Larry came up to Marty and said, “How was it?” Marty said, “It was good, it was good, but you hear that music? You have to run with the music, feel the music, and keep going until it’s over.”

We had a lunch break, and just as though he was an actor, Larry stayed behind to prepare for the next take of the scene. After lunch, he had a whole new expression on his face, a look of total commitment to his work. We went through the scene again, and he did it perfectly, this time dancing elaborately with the camera on his back between all the desks to the beat of the music. Afterward, he came up to Marty and asked, “How was that?” “Perfect, perfect,” Marty said, “except for that fourth beat.” And suddenly, they were standing around talking about Mozart. Marty had tapped into the camera operator’s creative side, and made him work hard for him just like he makes actors go through take after take after take.

Question: Did anyone during the production become confused as to your roles as both actor and producer?

Dunne: Well, there was a second AD, and it of course was the AD’s job to let actors know when they were called for shooting. He seemed terribly confused about whether he was to call me, assuming, since I was a producer, I would know of the call. I missed an entire rehearsal because of this--nobody had told me about the rehearsal. So I made a firm point of this and said to him, “I am an actor, and you are a second AD.”

Question: Were there occasions on this film when your tendency to produce overcame your concentration on acting?

Dunne: Well, first of all, Marty and Amy and I were in sync on this from the start, so I didn’t have to worry about such things as “control.” But when I’m acting, the tendency is to drop the producing ball altogether. The phrase “meal penalty” never crossed my mind. Of course, during pre-production, I’d worked on locations, script, casting, but once production began the only way I’d know about problems was if I were to ask. The only problem I actually caught wind of on this picture was that a lot of film was being used. This was because of all the takes Marty shoots, which, as an actor, I love. And since most of the footage being shot was with me, I didn’t see this as a “problem” at all. As far as I was concerned, we had all the time and all the takes in the world. But seriously, knowing that Amy thought we were using a lot of film caused me a slight distraction, but I was able to use this anxiety in my role.

Question: Once After Hours stopped shooting, did you find it difficult to fit back into your role as a producer?

Dunne: Yes. At first there wasn’t a lot for me to do at the office, because things had been running fine without me. I found that if I waited to pick up my own responsibilities, such as obtaining music rights for the film--it turned out I always dealt with music rights to our movie--I found that I really had to assert myself. And I did, because this producing really gives me a tremendous stability. This is one of the reasons I’ve never good at being an unemployed actor. I hated waking up in the morning and thinking, All I have to do is go to the gym. Now I don’t go to the gym; I go to the office.

Question: This sounds like a bizarre film, not by Scorcese standards, perhaps, but by your standards, and Amy’s.

Dunne: It’s certainly the most extreme movie we’ve ever produced, and the most controversial.

Question: Controversial in what way?

Dunne: In the way it speaks to a kind of paranoia and victimization that I think a lot of people living in big cities can relate to. It’s a nightmarish quality of the story that appealed to me, and that I found very funny. I’ve had nights like this in New York, on a more mundane level, when there’s a chain of reaction of events over which you have no control. Just today, on the way to this interview, I passed two men in business suits, on Fifth Avenue, going at it, hitting away at each other. My inclination was to try to break them up--I could so easily have become involved in a mess.

Question: You think the gates are open to the kinds of movies you and Amy want to produce?

Dunne: The great thing about the movie business is that it’s totally unpredictable; the rules are always changing. The kinds of movies the studios are making now are based on what’s been successful in the past, and success comes in lots of unexpected ways. Amy and I want to make movies that a lot of people want to see. If they do, if After Hours makes a lot of money--and it can, because it cost so little to make--we’ll have more credibility with the studios the next time out with the kind of movie we want to make.

Question: And Griffin Dunne will have more credibility as an actor as well. Are you prepared to make hard choices of which role you will play next, actor or producer?

Dunne: I’m told that one of the advantages of being tremendously successful is that you can arrange your life in the way you wish. This is what I’m told.

#griffin dunne #after hours #after hours 1985 #martin scorcese #amy robinson #interview #archive #back issue #american film #american film magazine #chilly scenes of winter #an american werewolf in london #johnny dangerously

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signor-signor · 6 years

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Trending 27th (July 2018)

Believe it or else, three years have passed since Disney made the biggest mistake in the history of television animation in the 2010s: canceling the well-received Wander Over Yonder before the second season got the chance to prove itself (and several months after the third season was fully conceived).

So, what would my reaction be if a third season of Wander Over Yonder were to happen? The answer is quite simple.

I would rejoice!

Let me expand on my answer, though, in a way that explains why I still support the show.

Before 2008, I had little-to-no interest in Disney Channel because of its heavy reliance on live-action sitcoms. I had no reason to tune into that channel back then, but a certain animated show about a couple of stepbrothers finding ways to spend summer vacation came along and made me change my mind. When I discovered Phineas and Ferb, I was in for a treat. An original premise, quirky characters, subplots connecting with main plots, unique feats not possible in live-action shows... P&F had the whole kit and caboodle and was the one show I would watch whenever a new episode came on.

Then in 2010, we got Fish Hooks. While it had certain moments I would love to forget, it did have a diverse cast of water-dwelling characters living in a pet shop and focused on the life and times of three high school fish. That might be why I kept tuning into the show for new episodes, which, consequently, might have contributed to its chance at getting a third season, giving the show the privilege of spanning four years of high school.

Believe it or not, one thing that got me interested in Gravity Falls in 2012 was the fact that its creator happened to be the voice of Clamantha from Fish Hooks. I never knew Alex Hirsch was capable of doing many voices. I often think of the voice of Grunkle Stan as his take on Krusty the Klown from The Simpsons. And I did find his voice for Soos fun to hear and imitate. I think what got me even more interested back then was the involvement of Matt Chapman, one of the many men of hundreds of voices and one of the two brothers who created the Homestar Runner body of work, which I’ve been following since 2003. That, and cryptic codes you find in the credits. Truth be told, I had no idea how much of an impact it would have among viewers.

These are just three animated shows that had me stay tuned on the Disney Channel before mid-2013. This leads us to my rising interest in Wander Over Yonder, which also premiered in 2013 on said channel. Knowing this was a feel-good kind of show starring Jack McBrayer and created by @crackmccraigen, the experienced genius behind The Powerpuff Girls and Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, I would be a total fool for missing out on it. The characters are diverse and so are the environments. There’s always something brand-spanking new in every episode. I cannot tell a lie. It’s the funniest, cleverest, and most well thought-out cartoon I’ve ever watched. Considering the other Disney shows in the resurgence weren’t in jeopardy, I was sure Disney had succeeded in boosting my interest in their animated fare. Regardless of hiatuses, I saw no signs of the company lousing up their shows’ schedules. I actually thought the show would be too good to fail even after the move to Disney XD in early 2014.

Even though the three aforementioned shows weren’t as impressive as WOY animation-wise and humor-wise, I’d managed to catch up on them. I also watched The 7D, Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero, and Star vs. the Forces of Evil on Disney XD, all because the company was going in the right direction. Like many viewers, I was completely unaware of the actions the heads of Disney were going to take, one of which involved choosing one or a few over the others.

When I got the news of WOY getting a second season (and the 11 1-minute shorts that preceded it), I made sure not to miss it because I enjoyed the first season. Before the bad news broke out in March of 2016, I had already moved on from Fish Hooks, Phineas and Ferb, and Gravity Falls because they had absolutely no unfinished business after they ended properly. When I found via DaBurninator’s DeviantArt account that Wander got canceled one week before S2 started even though a whole third season was planned out in early 2015, I became puzzled and felt betrayed. It’s like the Disney bosses didn’t give any thought to how the fans would feel. “Disney, how could you?” I thought. I had other questions in mind.

“What about Fish Hooks? It may not be as popular as Phineas and Ferb, but it got 3 seasons!”

“What makes them think there’s no need to make more episodes?”

“What did we ever do to be denied to know what happens after the second season?”

“Do they know what Craig went through to get his third season pitch together?”

Craig has been in the business for more than 20 years and his amazing ideas for S3 get snubbed by a company with the notion of dreams coming true? That is absolutely unheard of. He hasn’t done anything wrong before and after leaving Cartoon Network. Sure, he had a student film with an inappropriate title that got a much more suitable name when he got started with Hanna-Barbera, but I know dang well he was giving his all to make one of the best shows in the history of Disney television. He was trying to make a show that takes place in outer space, utilizes characters with structures that follow the “lava lamp theory,” and mixes hilarity and critical thinking. He was making for Disney a show that could leave a good impression on the viewers and show them that kindness can be a good thing. No other show by Disney could ever offer the same satisfaction demonstrated in WOY, that’s why I currently have little-to-no interest in Disney shows not created by Craig. I still suspect the higher Disney bosses like Fish Hooks more than they like WOY.

If people had no interest or faith in WOY, would they have allowed songs from My Fair Hatey to be recorded at Capitol Records? The point is, if the WOY crew members went above and beyond to make WOY good, we MUST give it tons of attention! I still do.

Back to my answer to the question of Trending 27th. If a third season of WOY were to ever happen, I would rejoice by hugging everyone around me and spreading the word. If I made doubly sure that it is the case, I’d probably happily laugh in hysterics, but that’d be because after years of putting up with the popularity of higher-rated Disney shows (especially GF and SvtFoE) and inspiring WOY fans to fight harder, I would know all our efforts would have finally paid off. I’d also have renewed my trust in Disney television.

Just imagine, the lips of Craig and his crew would be unsealed and we would finally get to witness these things in S3.

•The first scene consisting of Dominator grumpily orbbling through space (and maybe looking at the picture she took in The Flower)

•A new angle that’s “delightfully petty but wholly Dominator”

•The construction and launch of The Star Nomad (thanks to Future-Worm, we know who owns it)

•The space primate

•The threat worse than Dominator

•Peepers’s arc

•More Wander/Sylvia/Hater/Peepers team-ups

•More info on Demurra and Dracor’s children

•More Eye on the Skullship

•Emperor Awesome’s “ultimate comeuppance”

•Major Threat being a recurring character

•Returning characters (like the Black Cube, Ripov, Neckbeard, to name a few)

•What the other villains have been up to since The Bad Neighbors

•New characters (that means new ALFs - Alien Life Forms)

•Possibly a new musical

•Lord Hater’s origin story and how he and Peepers met (still waiting for it!)

•And most important, Wander being tested in a cool way

•And also most important, a message saying, “Thanks for watching!”

Get the picture? We would see all this and more become a reality if we leave shows with no unfinished business alone, ease up on shows that aren’t in danger of cancellation, and pay more attention to discontinued shows calling for proper closure. We can’t stand idly by while that space pod accident remains unexplained. We must let Disney know there IS a need for one more season (or TV movie) so we can see WOY end properly before Craig decides to retire.

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wozman23 · 3 years

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An Ode To Conan (AKA Conan Ode’Brien)

The year was 1995... or maybe '94... or at least sometime around then, give or take a year. I had just entered, or would be entering middle school, at age eleven... or twelve. With a new school came a later bedtime. So around that time I discovered two things: Saturday Night Live, and Late Night with Conan O'Brien. That was when my world changed.

For as long as I can remember, I've been a silly kid. My parents even used to throw an extra letter in my name and call me “Jokey.” Occasionally, they still do. But now, looking back, nearly 25 years later, I don't know if I'd have ever predicted just how much of my joking nature I'd be able to maintain at this point in my life. Today, at 37, if you ask me to sum up my personality in two words, they'd be “weird” and “funny.” As most age, they lose those traits. They'd instead define themselves as a “Personal Trainer” or a “Civil Engineer.” But I'm still just “weird” and “funny” - a goofball rebelling against the notion of “growing up.” I stubbornly keep the letter 'y' on the end of my name when most Josephs my age pick a more mature alternative. I have little interest in being anything else, and aspire for nothing more.

Much of that is thanks to a tall, freckled, red-headed idol I found on the late night airwaves of NBC, who danced as if he had strings on his hips and let people touch his nipple. I grew up watching cartoons like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Disney movies with comedic voice actors, and blockbuster movies like Ghostbusters and Mrs. Doubtfire, but I'd never seen anything as wildly experimental as Late Night. The (arguably) grown man at the helm still retained such a whimsical, silly, absurd outlook on life. He was a big kid, just having fun. It blew my mind. I was hooked. And it showed me that even if I was weird, I wasn't alone.

The absurdity of Conan and Late Night continues to be unrivaled, even to this day. There was a Masturbating Bear, who just went to town on this oddly nondescript jock strappy looking thing, Preparation H Raymond, an overly goofy looking character, with buck teeth and massive ears, who sang songs about applying a cream to irritated buttholes, and Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, who eviscerated Star Wars nerds and crashed the Westminster Dog Show. Clutch Cargo bits, where moving mouths were inserted into pictures of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Jackson, and Bill Clinton, always brought the laughs in the early days, with both Robert Smigel's impressions and the disregard for making things look authentic. The In The Year 2000/3000 bits provided the rapid fire jokes of randomness that I aspire to write today, one of my favorites being: “Babies will start listening to dance music when Lady Gaga teams up with The Goo Goo Dolls to form the super group, Gaga Goo Goo.” Other recurring bits like Celebrity Survey, SAT Analogies, and Made-For-TV Movie Castings provided similar repeatable formats that brought laughs night after night, as did Actual Items, a swipe at Leno's Headline's bit. If They Mated provided us with the horrors of what the love child of two celebrities would look like, in worst case scenarios. Desk driving bits and car chase spoofs with model towns and cars always delivered. There were the silly Satellite TV Channel bits, with the standout, the Men Without Hats Conversation Channel, as well as the truly pointless – yet my all-time favorite character – Cactus Chef Playing ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ on the Flute, created solely to poke fun at the criticism that the show was absurd. Conan Sings A Lullaby was always some macabre fun. At one point, The Walker Texas Ranger lever swept the nation, ultimately resulting in one of the oddest clips ever to grace television. “...Walker told me I have AIDS.” Constant cameos delighted, with frequent appearances from Larry King and Abe Vigoda, who were both always willing to go the extra mile for a laugh. And occasionally, my beloved comedy worlds would combine with someone from SNL like Will Ferrell showing up, dressed as a sexy leprechaun, or engaging in some other antics. Jim Gaffigan birthed the Pale Force cartoon. Hornymanatee.com became a thing. Remote bits, like Conan playing old timey baseball, were always instant classics. Plus, the show birthed the idea of travel shows, with trips to places like Finland and Toronto - the second of which has one of my other favorite remote bits, Conan training with the Toronto Maple Leafs. So much memorable, silly, recklessly avant-garde stuff happened in those years of Late Night. And all the best moments happened when Conan acknowledged the astronomical stupidity of it all. It was always a pleasure to watch, and it all felt expertly crafted just for me.

In the end, a program that got off to a rocky start, fighting off cancellation time and time again, blossomed over the course of fifteen years into a comedy juggernaut and bastion of brilliant buffoonery for my generation. It was practically perfection.

Then the first transition happened...

Like many, I was apprehensive about the switch to The Tonight Show. It was great to see Conan inherit what was formerly known as the pinnacle of late night talk shows, but I wondered if America was ready to watch a bear play with his dick at 11:30pm, especially the demographic that had enjoyed Leno's far more traditional approach. I think we now have that answer. NBC managed to repeat their past mistakes, and fumbled another smooth transition of hosts. Things got kind of ugly, but Conan managed to land on his feet at TBS, where his show continued to run for another eleven years, giving him and his employees - who had relocated to Los Angeles at the start of The Tonight Show - steady work.

The one issue with the migration was that Conan no longer retained the rights to any of his intellectual property. Exceptions were made, but most of this bits and characters were absent from the now titled show, Conan. There was also one less show a week. However, new bits were concocted regularly, like Coffee Table Books That Didn't Sell, Basic Cable Name That Tune, and NBA Mascots That Should Never Dunk. New characters were spawned, like Minty, the Candy Cane That Briefly Fell on the Ground, Punxsutawney Dr. Phil - The best Dr. Phil bit since Letterman’s Words of Wisdom - and Wikibear. Will Forte showed up atop a stuffed buffalo as network owner, Ted Turner. Experimental stand-up sets, like Tig Notaro pushing a stool around or Jon Dore & Rory Scovel being double booked provided some of the best stand-up sets ever. Embracing a digital, web-based format, they introduced new segments like Clueless Gamer, catering to my love of video games. There was Puppy Conan, and Mini Conan. Plus, they doubled down on travel shows, creating the Conan Without Borders series, which I believe to be Conan's best work to date, and a shining example of who he is as a person. There were Fan Corrections, which allowed me to influence his show for five minutes, and throw my own zaniness into the world, and back at the man who stoked the funny fire in me. At some point in life, I may achieve greater things, or have children, but I may still always say that the greatest day of my life was the day I was on Conan.

So Conan did have bright spots, but to me things were never quite the same. They were still good, but not amazing. Slowly it felt like things were beginning to decline. Longtime writer/performer Brian McCann left to return to New York. A while later, so did Brian Stack, finding a job with Colbert. The show was eventually cut to a thirty minute format. They spun it like it was a good change for the show. I however had my reservations. While I'd hoped for more experimental comedy, it seemed like the first half of the show was cut in favor of still getting in sizeable celebrity interviews. The band was gone, as were the options for nightly music acts. That meant no more fantastic moments like me discovering Lukas Graham with his subdued “7 Years” performance. Stand-up was pretty much gone too, which meant no more killer sets like Gary Gulman's bit on state abbreviations or Ismo's foreign take on the use of the word “ass” in English linguistics. Occasional product placement reared its ugly head. They had to keep the lights on, and they found a way to. So I continued to watch practically every show over the course of the eleven years.

When the pandemic hit, I found myself with more free time. So I decided to check out the Team Coco podcasts, cherry picking from the best guests of Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend, The Three Questions with Andy Richter, and Inside CONAN: An Important Hollywood Podcast. Never having paid attention to any podcasts, I found a love for them. And sometime amidst the pandemic, watching Conan interview some random celebrity, from some show I probably didn't care about, through Zoom, I kind of became at peace with the idea of a nightly Conan program ending.

From middle school, to high school, and then to college, I tuned in when I could. Without the luxury of the internet in its currently glory, or DVRs, I'd tape episodes on a VCR. Barring two or three episode of Conan that I missed while working two jobs, I've seen every episode of Conan, every Tonight Show, and a good streak leading into the end of Late Night. But I will admit that towards the end, it has sometimes felt like a chore.

One thing I didn't drag my feet on was attending tapings. It was one of the first things I did when I came to LA. Over the past few years I was fortunate to get to attend three tapings of Conan. In hindsight, I probably would have went more often. I brought family and friends along with me when they visited, but the treat was primarily for me. When he announced that the final few weeks of shows might have an audience, I knew I must go. I put in for two tapings, and fortunately the stars aligned for the third to last show with Seth Rogen. I was hoping for Ferrell, or Sandler, but it was great! It was the first show where masks were optional and it went recklessly off the rails. Like Conan, I've never been into pot. It's another of the things I enjoy about him. Like him, I don't really have a problem with it, but I've never tried it because I don't think it's for me. I’m the same way with alcohol. With a friend in town this week, I tried one of the beers he bought. I hated it, but I struggled through it. I’ll occasionally drink some fruity wine cooler but that’s about it. So seeing him reluctantly try the joint Seth handed him because he didn't care since the show was wrapping was great. Unseen in the TV edit was that after that segment, Conan and his producer, Jeff Ross, had a lengthy discussion as the band played. As the band wrapped up, Conan came back up and said to expect a rough edit on the show since they wouldn't be able to air them smoking. Turns out they could, which made for good TV. It was a symbolic moment where a man who's spend his entire career blazing his own trail – no pun intended - did so once more, knowing he had nothing to lose. I also put in a ticket request for the last show on the morning of because registration reopened for some reason, but I never got a confirmation. I'm excited to watch it tonight, but also sad to see things come to and end. But at least I can say I was there in the end.

For 28 years Conan and cast have delivered the show they wanted to make. Contrastingly, compared to the other late night shows, its always been far more apolitical, which I appreciate. Comedy to me is about dissociation. It's why I favor and write left-brained jokes about random subjects. No one really needs to hear another hackneyed Trump or Biden joke. Regardless of the state of the world, I could tune in to Conan for a mostly unbiased, silly outlook on the world. Conan always seemed to bring out the best in the guests too, making his show the premier show to tune into when someone was out in the circuit promoting something. Even the stereotypical animal segments or cooking segments provided ample laughs.

Most of the talk will be about Conan himself. But a very large part of what has always made Conan's shows great wasn't even him. A large cast of stellar writers and performers brought countless characters to life. Brian McCann and Brian Stack were longtime favorites. There was the No-Reason-To-Live Guy with his kayak, Hannigan the Traveling Salesman, Artie Kendall the Singing Ghost, and The Interrupter, to name just a few. Even people who had no business performing were utilized brilliantly, like original announcer Joel Godard or Max Weinberg both acting like creeps and perverts, trombone player Richie "LaBamba" Rosenberg being a dolt, and graphic designer Pierre Bernard in his deadpan Recliner of Rage segments. Jordan Schlansky was a comedy well. Andy Richter also deserves more praise. His quick wit makes him the perfect sidekick. I can't even begin to enumerate the amount of instance in which he was lightning fast with a witty response to someone or something. His more recent Sports Blast segments were absurdly stupid, and his Hillbilly Handfishing remote stands out as one of the best.

The late night talk show concept is built around volume. With 4368 episodes among three iterations of shows, there's a lot of time to fill. Things didn't always work, but most of the time they did. That's what you get when you experiment and evolve the medium. I've been thinking a lot about my history with the show, and it's amazing just how many silly bits, characters, and moments still bounce around in my noggin. I've only covered a small sample of the many great moments over the years. It's always seemed really weird to me that Conan has kind of been the underdog. To me, no one holds a candle to his brilliance. I can only liken attending his tapings to a few other experiences: the time I finally got to see Michael Jordan play as a Wizard, or Rush's final R40 tour – three great entities who may not have been at the height of their careers, but were still massively impressive none the less. Conan concluding tonight is very bittersweet. The future is uncertain. The details for his HBO Max show are nebulous. It's going to be far more small scale. I've always admired how much Conan has taken care of his cast and crew. He paid his writers during the strike, and his entire crew during the pandemic. But they will certainly fracture now. Will any of the writing staff follow? Will longtime performer Dan Cronin be there? Will Andy be back? Time will tell, but until then, television, the internet, and the world of comedy, will be a little less funny. In many ways, I wish we lived in a world we he still hosted Late Night, or a successful Tonight Show. But the late night landscape has changed a lot in the last few decades, so who’s to say this wasn’t the better timeline. If there’s one thing I cling on to that keeps me hopeful about the future, it’s Conan’s closing monologue from Late Night. Especially its ending: "It's time for Conan to grow up... and I assure you that's just not going to happen. I can't. This is who I am, for better or worse. It's just, I don't know how."

That hits me just as hard as it did in ‘09, if not harder. The more things change, the more they stay the same. The guy that started hosting in ‘93 is the same guy we see today. He’s still just as childish, just as absurd, just as brilliant, and a man of integrity. And as long as he is, so too will I be.

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hotelconcierge · 6 years

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YOUNG ADULT FICTIONS

Slate Star Codex, “Some groups of people who may not 100% deserve our eternal scorn,” defending Harry Potter political analogies:

Comparing politics to your favorite legends is as old as politics and legends. Herodotus used an extended metaphor between the Persian invasions of his own time and the Trojan War. When King Edward IV took the English throne in 1461, all anybody could talk about was how it reminded them of King Arthur. John Dryden’s famous poem Absalom and Achitophel is a bizarrely complicated analogy of 17th-century English politics to an obscure Biblical story. Throughout American history people have compared King George to Pharaoh, Benedict Arnold to Judas, Abraham Lincoln to Moses, et cetera.

Well, how many people know who Achitophel is these days? Even Achilles is kind of pushing it. So we stick to what we know – and more important, what we expect everyone else will know too. And so we get Harry Potter.

“But a children’s book?” Look, guys, fantasy is what the masses actually like. They liked it in Classical Greece, where they had stories like Bellerophon riding a flying horse and fighting the Chimera. They liked it in medieval Britain, where they would talk about the Knights of the Round Table slaying dragons as they searched for the Holy Grail. The cultural norm where only kids are allowed to read fantasy guilt-free and everybody else has to read James Joyce is a weird blip in the literary record which is already being corrected. Besides, James Joyce makes for a much less interesting source of political metaphors (“The 2016 election was a lot like Finnegan’s Wake: I have no idea what just happened”)

Hoo boy did he walk into that one.

Plebeians have been plebeian forever, granted, although the age of SSC’s examples (Medieval Britain?) is telling: contra the above, the distinction between highbrow and lowbrow literature exists whenever the majority of the population is literate.

But regardless, SSC (for the record, mostly Good) is being fooled by branding. No one compares the “fantasy” elements of Harry Potter to the U.S. political system. The fantasy elements are irrelevant, which is why Hamilton works just as well. Wannabe pundits compare the characters. And it is the characters, their psyches, the ambiguity that persists after two millennia of debate, that has made The Iliad stand the test of time. As clever as Artemis Fowl may be, it’s naive to pretend there’s no difference.

What makes it obvious that Deadpool (rating: R) is a kid’s movie while 2001: A Space Odyssey (rating: G) is not? Turn on the TV and flip through a few kids shows—nothing educational, I’m talking epilepsy triggers. After a couple, you’ll notice a unifying theme: everything is turned up to the max. All the characters are live/laugh/loving, fighting, crying; the soundtrack goes major or minor for every ephemeral mood. The characters have saucer eyes and exaggerated movements, The Emoji Movie being the logical conclusion of the genre, every motivation gets a musical number, these shows are MAXIMALLY EXPRESSIVE, leaving no doubt as to what emotion you are supposed to feel by the microsecond.

Please hear that I mean no disrespect when I say that this is why people with autism like Disney.

Q: Why did it feel good to watch [Disney movies] over and over again, that you kept wanting to? Watch them over and over again? How did that feel to you?

A: It felt comforting.

Q: Comforting.

A: It felt comforting.

Q: Why?

A: Because it would help me with...reducing my autism. (Radiolab)

Nothing wrong with that. Partisan bullshit aside, Harry Potter is great. But it’s important to recognize the limitations. Young adult fiction can have complex characters, worldbuilding, and rules of magic/ethics/rationality as long as the complexity is spelled out for you. “Snape was mean to Harry...but [flashback] that’s because, deep down, he was still in love with Lily...” What such stories will never ask you to do is intuit that Snape had tribulations, they assume that you have no instinct for cognitive empathy, which you don’t, which is why your politics are vapid.

(When fiction deprives you of access to any character’s mind or explanation of events, you feel the opposite of comfort: horror. Saw is not a scary film because it is nothing but explanations; a Kafka story feels “off” even before shit goes down because the world and the characters refuse to show their work.)

Young adult fiction is a stepping stone, good if it helps you get better at understanding people without a Wes Anderson narrator whispering in your ear. Unfortunately, the ability to parrot accepted opinions is often taken for the ability to derive judgments of one’s own. I’m thinking of a homestuck 13 year old who is constantly told that he/she is “so mature” for getting straight A’s and being well-spoken with the dinner guests and not ditching class to smoke brick weed with Devin. Whether or not those behaviors are good, the kid isn’t mature, he or she is well-trained, and if you keep claiming maturity then you are going to stunt development. Sorry: not having an adolescent rebellion means you didn’t complete adolescence. The result is neotenous adults who are not overly sensitive—as conservative media would claim—but rather overly dependent on external rules. Cards Against Humanity is so funny, right? You get to say bad words, but it’s only a game.

“Help, I was a gifted kid and now I’m a normal adult!” Different adjective, same problem. Once Hal Incandenza is typecast as “gifted,” everyone will find it convenient to grade him (praise/no praise) on whether he is living up to his label. How do you look gifted? You can solve P vs. NP......or you can read the dictionary. I’ll bet that every ex-gifted kid who now uses “adulting” as a verb is a fan of those faux-pretentious memes, “mfw she confuses epistemics and ontology,” fitting Wikipedia philosophy into preformed joke structures, lowbrow expressions of highbrow concepts, a few college words to suggest immeasurable depths. You do what you know: exert the minimum necessary effort to convince other people of your intelligence. But you can’t convince yourself.

The consequences are predictable. Imposter syndrome. Scrupulosity. Sexual fetishes suffixed with -play. Gushing compassion ruined by the inability to picture how one appears to the outside world. Neediness. Ill-fitting jeans. Trouble with romance, and not because they don’t know how—deep down they do—but because they cling to a rulebook (“milady”) instead of trusting instinct. They were never allowed to have instincts. For that matter they’ve never really wanted, never felt a desire that wasn’t assigned, which is why: open relationships, switched majors, medicated anxiety, and ambivalence, ambivalence, ambivalence.

I know how heavy lies the burden of wasted potential. So please take this in the gentlest possible way: you were never that great. Greatness is a meaningless thing to apply to a kid, or a college student, or any idea that hasn’t forced it’s way onto paper. The only path is forward. “It’s our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” I think that’s Dumbledore, take it or leave it—there’s a time and a place for young adult fiction.

Coming soon:

THE FALSE POSITIVES

THE FALSE NEGATIVES

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berserker-official · 7 years

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Then allow me to be the one who does it. -ahem- Answer all 200 questions, please.

YOU

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now?

199: I was born in: A hospital in Colorado

198: I am really: Really tired

197: My cellphone company is: Cricket

196: My eye color is: Blue

195: My shoe size is: I think 12?

194: My ring size is: I have no fucking idea

193: My height is: 6′2

192: I am allergic to: Nothing that I know of

191: My 1st car was: I share a Jeep with the family

190: My 1st job was: A pizza man at Little Caesars in Texas

189: Last book you read: All You Need is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka

188: My bed is: Small.

187: My pet: She a good girl and like 6 different breeds

186: My best friend: I have too many

185: My favorite shampoo is: Whatever’s cheap

184: Xbox or ps3: Both but I’m a sony man at heart

183: Piggy banks are: Neat

182: In my pockets: I don’t have pockets right now

181: On my calendar: Nothing special today but I have the Danganronpa V3 release date on it in a couple of weeks

180: Marriage is: Neat

179: Spongebob can: go steppin on the beach

178: My mom: is neat but I’m mad at her right now

177: The last three songs I bought were?

Silence by Marshmello & Khalid, OTONA HIT PARADE and Emotional Literacy by Bradio

176: Last YouTube video watched: Oney Plays D. Premonition WITH FRIENDS - EP 6 - Minesweeper175: How many cousins do you have? I honestly don’t know. My parents don’t really keep in touch with immediate family. My mom is an only child and my dad doesn’t talk to her sister.174: Do you have any siblings? I have a little brother who’s a fucking loser going for an astrophysics degree.

173: Are your parents divorced? Nope

172: Are you taller than your mom? By two feet.

171: Do you play an instrument? I used to play percussion in middle school

170: What did you do yesterday? A bunch of stencil work[ I Believe In ] (I’ve already answered these but here u go)169: Love at first sight: Not really168: Luck: Heart of the Cards167: Fate: No166: Yourself: Nope165: Aliens: Yeah164: Heaven: Not really163: Hell: Not really162: God: Not really161: Horoscopes: No but I look at them randomly160: Soul mates: Yeah159: Ghosts: No but not yet158: Gay Marriage: HELL YEAH157: War: No it bad156: Orbs: I BELIEVE IN THE ORBS155: Magic: No but not yet[ This or That ] (I’ve answered some of these already but here u go)154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs153: Drunk or High: Neither152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Black hair but I don’t really care?150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blonde cuz I’m ready to have fun149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate145: Night or Day: Night144: Oranges or Apples: Apples143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight hair142: McDonalds or Burger King: Doesn’t matter141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: I hate showing off my feet and I actually wore high heels once so HIGH HEELS138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I’m sweet and poor so that one137: Coke or Pepsi: Neither one I actually don’t like carbonated drinks136: Hillary or Obama: Thanks obama135: Burried or cremated: Cremated it’s better for the earth134: Singing or Dancing: Singing even I fuckin suck133: Coach or Chanel: I have no idea132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Neither?131: Small town or Big city: Big City130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller128: Manicure or Pedicure: Whichever is the hand one127: East Coast or West Coast: I’m in the middle so doesn’t matter126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas cuz my birthday is in the summer so I’m dying of heat.125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: Neither cuz going outside sucks123: Yankees or Red Sox: Cubs cuz they finally won the world series[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: It bad121: George Bush: He did Nine Eleven120: Gay Marriage: It’s great why the fuck do people think it’s bad119: The presidential election: In general I used to not care but NOW GO FUCKING VOTE118: Abortion: I think it’s important117: MySpace: I never had a myspace but bring back the grunge emo shit116: Reality TV: It’s obviously fake so115: Parents: Parents are good without them I would not be here (But if they’re abusive fuck them)114: Back stabbers: Drop them faster than you can say bye bitch113: Ebay: I’ve only used it once and it was good so I say sure112: Facebook: Needs to chill the fuck out111: Work: Work is good you get money and gain retail horror stories110: My Neighbors: One of them is a drunk so meh but The Best Neighbor is a guy that used to build his own motorcycles but has heart problems so he had to sell them but he’s a chill guy and I love him109: Gas Prices: TOO DAMN HIGH108: Designer Clothes: Too rich for my blood107: College: A good choice for your future but it’s not for everybody106: Sports: The only sport I care about is MLG Gaming105: My family: They cool but highly problematic104: The future: I’m at a big turning point right now so[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Last Saturday?102: Last time you ate: A couple hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Last week I think I hung out with a friend and we watched Willow100: Cried in front of someone: Months probably99: Went to a movie theater: I went to see Spider-Man Homecoming when it came out but next month I’m going to see Jigsaw with @warlord-official so that’s fun98: Took a vacation: I don’t know? When I got out of school for summer vacation?97: Swam in a pool: 2011?96: Changed a diaper: I actually never changed a diaper95: Got my nails done: Never94: Went to a wedding: Two years ago93: Broke a bone: Never92: Got a peircing: Sophmore year I got my lip pierced so...2008?91: Broke the law: I think I ran a red light once so a couple years ago?90: Texted: A day?[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Me cuz I do the dumbest shit88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My dog87: The last movie I saw: I was watching the Rugrats Movie on Netflix a little while ago86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Danganronpa V3 and then Jigsaw in October and the Ixalan MTG set at the end of the month.85: The thing im not looking forward to: The next time I have to go to jury duty84: People call me: by my name83: The most difficult thing to do is: Be an adult82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Never81: My zodiac sign is: Leo80: The first person i talked to today was: My dad79: First time you had a crush: Probably in elementary school? She was partially deaf and my teacher told me to help her out for the year and we got pretty close78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: My friends cuz I gotta let my baggage out77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: I don’t remember cuz all my friends think the same way76: Right now I am talking to: No one75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I wanna do photography maybe teaching74: I have/will get a job: When I graduate73: Tomorrow: I gotta get up early for school72: Today: I did a bunch of school readings71: Next Summer: I’m gonna die from heat again70: Next Weekend: Hopefully I can hang with friends69: I have these pets: A good dog68: The worst sound in the world: When a racist opens their mouth67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Roman from the FH team cuz he’s NOT FUCKING NERFING CENT66: People that make you happy: All my friends65: Last time I cried: Just now boi we goin in hard64: My friends are: Good boys and girls63: My computer is: I have an 5 year old ASUS laptop that I should try to upgrade cuz it runs Overwatch poorly62: My School: MSU Denver61: My Car: I share a Jeep with the family60: I lose all respect for people who: Treat my friends like they’re subhuman59: The movie I cried at was: Death Note cuz it was fucking awful58: Your hair color is: Dirty blonde57: TV shows you watch: The only stuff on now that I’m watching is Rick and Morty and AHS: Cult56: Favorite web site: Tumblr even though this hellsite is full of sin55: Your dream vacation: Japan?54: The worst pain I was ever in was: My wisdom teeth were pretty obnoxious53: How do you like your steak cooked: Rare52: My room is: Very messy and small51: My favorite celebrity is: Gal Gadot50: Where would you like to be: Anywhere not stressed out49: Do you want children: Only if I have an S/O that wants kids48: Ever been in love: Yeh47: Who’s your best friend: I have too many to count but @warlord-official is one of them46: More guy friends or girl friends: I think it’s a tie?45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when my friends are happy or I eat a good burger44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My friend that’s in Japan I miss her43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Nope42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope41: Have you pre-named your children: I did when I was dating someone and thought we were pretty serious but then I found out she was cheating on me so not anymore40: Last person I got mad at: My mom39: I would like to move to: Japan or somewhere that is cool all the time like Washington maybe38: I wish I was a professional: Photographer[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Pay Day36: Vehicle: Reasonably priced car is one of the new Jeeps. Super expensive car would be an Aston Martin or Maserati35: President: Obama34: State visited: Georgia was nice33: Cellphone provider: Cricket cuz it’s the only one I’ve had32: Athlete: John Elway31: Actor: Chris Evans30: Actress: Gal Gadot29: Singer: Kesha28: Band: Bradio or Starset27: Clothing store: DXL cuz it’s the only store that sells clothes for Big Boys26: Grocery store: Safeway25: TV show: Hannibal or Future Diary. Rick and Morty is always good24: Movie: Saw, Pacific Rim, Back to the Future, or Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift23: Website: Tumle dot hell22: Animal: Dog?21: Theme park: NONE OF EM20: Holiday: Halloween19: Sport to watch: idk18: Sport to play: I used to do tennis so that one17: Magazine: Shonen Jump or Game Informer16: Book: The Disaster Artist15: Day of the week: Friday14: Beach: I’ve never been to a beach13: Concert attended: Either PVRIS or A Perfect Circle with @warlord-official12: Thing to cook: It’s like a mix of pizza and spaghetti11: Food: A nice burger10: Restaurant: I like Smashburger9: Radio station: I don’t remember the one that plays rock music here but that one8: Yankee candle scent: Something about rain?7: Perfume: There was a vanilla one that I thought smelled nice a long time ago6: Flower: idk?5: Color: a deep blue4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres?3: Comedian: Bo Burnham2: Dog breed: Mutt1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I hope so

#long post #rexudagawa

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pikapepikachuu · 5 years

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How Josh Wakely landed the Beatles, Dylan, Motown and more

Could I please have a knife and fork, he asks the waiter as we take our seats in Mr Wong, a bustling, upscale modern Chinese restaurant in a converted warehouse in Sydneys CBD. Even as the words are leaving his lips, he knows theres a good chance theyll end up in print. I knew the risk I was taking, he says. He pulled the same stunt on his first date with the woman who was to become his wife. Shes a human rights lawyer and I was a semi-employed screenwriter and I went for the knife and fork. And how did it turn out? I got a second date, but it still burns her, he says. At least it wasnt a spoon. Wakely is quite happy to tell stories against himself. Hes proud of what he has achieved that his success allows him to order the spectacularly good salt-and-pepper Balmain bugs at this restaurant whenever hes in town, for instance and he has ambitions to achieve a lot more. But as a boy from Newcastle, he also knows it doesnt do to get ideas too far above your station. His parents were, comparatively speaking, quite posh his mother was a social worker, his father a teacher but the town in which he was raised was dominated in every sense by the steel plant, at least until it closed in 2000. Everyone was employed in BHP and then everyone wasnt, he says. It was a very working-class world and thats still the world I feel most comfortable in. And yet the one thing I could do was write, though I didnt really know what to do with that.

The salt and pepper Balmain bugs are a highlight.Credit:Louise Kennerley He lasted just five weeks in an arts-law degree at Newcastle Uni his brush with torts was cut short when he rocked up to class dripping from the surf, only to have his tutor tell him, I dont think youll be a lawyer before decamping to Sydney with dreams of making it as a writer. Some good reviews for his 2002 play Woomera in which he also starred as a young detention-centre guard helped earn him a place at the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts, even though acting wasnt his primary interest. So I rang up the head of WAAPA and said, Ill come to your drama school, but I want to be a writer and director, he recalls, laughing at his own chutzpah. He says Im the only person whos ever rung up and negotiated. The tyro writer did all the acting and dancing expected of him even though he wasnt particularly good at it. Then he would go home and write for four or five hours, every night. By the time he left he had enough work under his belt to convince a series of producers to pay him to write screenplays none of which ever made it to production, he says, because they were just too ambitious for Australian budgets.

Beat Bugs marries the songs of the Beatles with computer-animated critters.Credit:Netflix Thats why his credits pre-Netflix are, to put it mildly, rather thin. But if he was guilty of thinking too big back then, Wakely has zero regrets. There is great power in being wildly naive, he says. Unquestionably, though, his most pie-in-the-sky idea was to go after the rights to the Beatles catalogue with an eye to turning their songs into an animated childrens series.

The bill, pleaseCredit:Karl Quinn Beat Bugs has recently produced its third season for Netflix, won him a screenwriting Emmy, and spawned three albums of Beatles covers by the likes of Sia, Pink, Rod Stewart and The Shins. Next year, a live version is set for an 80-city tour of the US and Canada. It's fair to say it's been a hit. But for a long time after Wakely and his wife moved to Los Angeles about a decade ago, it was just another wildly ambitious plan seemingly destined to go nowhere. One day, Wakelys worried father-in-law, visiting from Australia, tapped on the door of the garage where he wrote and asked what his back-up plan was if he didnt manage to land the Beatles rights. Ive got a good idea for Bob Dylan, came the reply. His father-in-law closed the door, shook his head in despair and walked away. Now I look back on it, he was the sane one, Wakely says. I was insane. When he finally got a chance to put his idea to Sony/ATV, which holds the publishing rights, Wakely rocked up with a demo recorded for $200 by his old mate Daniel Johns in one hand and a pitch document hed put together at a local printing shop in the other. The meeting didnt go well. For some reason, he was made to stand on a cushion, and its very hard to keep your status on a cushion. Then one of the executives fell asleep while Wakely was talking. Worst of all, when he hit play on the stereo it didnt work. And I just remember thinking, I am f---ed. It could have been a fatal blow, but as I left one of the guys there said, Hello, Goodbye would be a good song for children. That was enough. For Sony/ATV, the appeal of Beat Bugs lay in exposing the music to a generation that might otherwise never hear it. It refreshes their catalogues, it keeps them pertinent and present, Wakely says. If you refresh it, it stays in the culture. Presumably there was the small matter of a significant sum being handed over too? To be clear, I think the Beatles were fine without me, he says. I dont think it was ever about the cash. They made the cash long ago. Once he had the rights, everyone wanted to talk to Josh Wakely. In the weeks after, it was all expensive cars coming to take me to meetings at Disney and Dreamworks, he says. But while being feted was nice, he realised that if he signed with one of the majors hed get the bungalow and the credit but he wouldnt be making the show himself. So instead he went with Netflix and the Seven Network in Australia. I came back to Sydney to set up an animation company, which was its own epic journey. It was as hard, really, as securing the Beatles rights. Wakely is a restless spirit, though, and long before the first season was in the can he was onto the next thing. I kept saying to them, You know when I get the Beatles rights then Ill ask for Motown, because that will be electrifying for children. They just thought that was part of my stand-up act. And then Beat Bugs had success and I went back and reminded them. [embedded content] He landed the Dylan catalogue too he even spent a couple of hours in the presence of the great man, an experience he describes as sacred and Universal has given him access to its entire repertoire as he looks for ways to tell stories about the songs, or the stories behind the songs. Because that, really, is his thing. For now at least. When he got the go-ahead to do Beat Bugs, he says, Id never directed a frame of animation and Id only written one childrens script. But I get how music works with storytelling and I took a lot of confidence out of that. Now his slate also includes projects with Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam, and a project called 27, based on the mythical age at which so many rock stars have died. What if one of them survived, and you get this alternative history, he says. You can watch it linear or you can watch it interactive.

The dining room in this converted warehouse is buzzing.Credit:Louise Kennerley Despite his success with Beat Bugs and Motown Magic, Wakelys main interest is in adult-oriented drama and comedy. He wants his company, Grace, to develop into a fully fledged production house, ideally based in Australia. The creative talent is here, he says. Its just a question of whether the resources and infrastructure are here and if youd get the blessing [from the studios in LA] to do it here. Theres no knowing how much of this he will be able to bring to fruition, of course. But on the evidence to date, youd be mad to rule out the possibility that he might just pull it off. At any rate, all he can do is ask for the chance to try. The odd power I take into those rooms is a sense that I shouldnt be there anyway, the kid from Newcastle says. So what have I got to lose? Follow the author on Facebook at karlquinnjournalist and on twitter @karlkwin Karl is a senior entertainment writer at The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald. Most Viewed in Entertainment Loading https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/how-josh-wakely-landed-the-beatles-dylan-motown-and-more-20190408-p51c3z.html?ref=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_source=rss_feed

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justanothercinemaniac · 7 years

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Epic Movie (Re)Watch #119 - Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Spoilers Below

Have I Seen It Before: Yes.

Did I Like It Then: Yes.

Do I Remember It: Yes.

Did I See It In Theaters: No

Edit: At the time of writing this I did not see the film in theaters, but have recently.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #565.

Format: DVD

1) Starting this comedy/noir film off with what appears to be an animated cartoon from the 40s is a good way of establishing tone for a few reasons. First of all it tells us what kind of toons Roger and company are. The kind that star in short after short after short like Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny, as opposed to say the Care Bears (it was the 80s, so I’m going with that example) who had a TV Show and a movie. It also introduces us to Roger, Baby Herman, the idea of ACME in cartoons, and Maroon studios. Also the film’s excellence in slapstick is there from the get go.

2) But as soon as the cartoon is over, we’re in the “real” world. This film has a slight bit of edge to it that I wildly appreciate. Not like Martin Scorsese edge, but come on. This is a film starring animated characters that has swearing, murder, sexual innuendo galore, and an alcoholic main character. For example in the original version of the film (now edited out): after Baby Herman walks under the skirt of a female employee on set, his finger is extended upward and has some liquid on it. That is VERY adult but will go over the heads of children.

3) According to IMDb:

Joel Silver's cameo as the director of the Baby Herman cartoon was a prank on Disney chief Michael Eisner by Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg. Eisner and Silver hated each other from their days at Paramount Pictures in the early '80s, particularly after the difficulties involved in making 48 Hrs. (1982). Silver shaved off his beard, paid his own expenses, and kept his name out of all initial cast sheets. When Eisner was told, after the movie was complete, who was playing the director - Silver was nearly unrecognizable - he reportedly shrugged and said, "He was pretty good."

4) Bob Hoskins as Eddie Valiant.

Eddie is a wildly interesting character. He’s a former goofball who has kept his sharp tongue for wiseass remarks and being a pain in the ass, which is always appreciated by me. His conflict is incredibly interesting (more on that later) and he’s just a great character to follow around in this world.

Bob Hoskins is perfect for this role. I’ll go into detail on this later but his interactions with the cartoon characters look easy when they’re not, and Hoskins is able to balance the sourpuss aspect of Eddie’s personality with the wiseass, heartache, alcoholism, and former goofball in a complete package.

According to IMDb:

On the Special Edition DVD, Robert Zemeckis recounts that he had stated in a newspaper interview that Bill Murray was his and producer Steven Spielberg's original choice for the role of Eddie Valiant, but neither could get in contact with him in time. Bill Murray, in turn, has stated that when he read the interview he was in a public place, but he still screamed his lungs out, because he would have definitely accepted the role.

I think Hoskins can’t be replaced though.

5) This film is more of a noir film than an animated fantasy. You have your archetypes like RK Maroon begin the big money slime, Judge Doom is the shady government official, and Jessica Rabbit it the femme fatale. This is felt in every aspect of the film, from the cinematography right down to Alan Silvestri’s wonderful music.

6) Remember how I said Eddie had a great conflict?

Angelo [bar patron who Eddie flipped out on]: “What’s his problem?”

Dolores [Eddie’s sort-of-girlfriend and bar owner]: “Toon killed his brother.”

Like that is such a strange idea, a murderous toon, and it provides such great conflict for Eddie. A conflict which we see laid out before us when the camera takes the time to look at all the stuff on his and Teddy’s desk. You SEE that Eddie is in pain, and without a flashback you see the guy he used to be when his brother was around. The fun goofball who liked working Toontown and helpings toons out. To go from that to where he is now takes a lot of heartbreak.

7) I love that the password to get into the Ink & Paint Club is, “Walt sent me.”

8) Daffy and Donald Duck.

This is the first (and to date only) time cartoon characters owned by Warner Brothers and Disney have appeared in a film together. Since the film was being made by Disney, WB only allowed to have their characters show up if the major characters had the same amount of screen time as the Disney characters. That’s why Donald/Daffy and later Mickey/Bugs always share the screen together.

As a kid THIS was my favorite part of the film! The crossover aspect. Getting to see characters interact who normally don’t. AND they got the official actors at the time to voice them. Mel Blanc voices all his Looney Tunes characters, Tony Anselmo is Donald, and Wayne Allwine is Mickey Mouse. These aren’t cheap cameos, these are the genuine articles and that’s amazing!

9) There are also some appearances by non-Disney/non-WB characters, such as Betty Boop.

I think the inclusion of Betty is a nice way to pay respect to the early days of studio animation, and her original voice actress was still alive at the time so she got a chance to reprise the character.

10) Jessica Rabbit.

Before anything else, I would just like to point out that Jessica’s proportions are PURPOSEFULLY impossible. I think that this is done to play into the idea of her being a femme fatale, but more so even to critique some of the ridiculous bodies animated female characters have (but that last part may just be wishful thinking on my part). Kathleen Turner unfortunately does not get credit for her voiceover work as Jessica, which is a shame because she gives the character so much of her heart and intrigue. When she’s just the femme fatale Jessica’s a bit of a stereotype but by the end of the film she becomes truly interesting to me because she doesn’t just fill that role. There’s also a fan theory about Jessica I’m totally onboard with, but more on that later.

11) Robert Zemeckis’ films are marked for their incredible special effects, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit is no exception. Ask yourself: every time an animated character opens a door, or moves a desk, or splashes water, or bumps into a lamp, or (in the case of Jessica) pulls Eddie close to them by his tie and then lets him go, how did they do that on set? Because they had to! CGI is not a factor in this film. The animation is done by drawing over the film that was shot in the traditional fashion, but everything else had to be done practically on set. It’s so subtle and so natural that I marvel at it every time.

12) Okay, I love the theory that Jessica Rabbit is asexual. If you want to read the full post click the link above but here are the basic points of argument:

She’s in love with a rabbit because he makes her laugh.

She uses her body to get things she wants from people, but outside of that doesn’t she interest in anybody.

Her line, “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

Her line, “You don’t know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.”

The only thing that really contradicts the theory is that later in the movie Eddie says to Jessica that Roger is a better lover than a driver, to which she replies, “You better believe it buster.” But I can easily see that as her defending his loving husband side instead of any sexual prowess.

13) Another thing that supports the asexual Jessica theme is that instead of her doing anything sexual with Marvin Acme, she plays Patty Cake with him. Like literally, patty cake.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

That is a joke I did not understand as a child.

14) I haven’t talked too much about Roger’s voice actor yet, Charles Fleischer.

During filming, Charles Fleischer delivered Roger Rabbit's lines off camera in full Roger costume including rabbit ears, yellow gloves and orange cover-alls. During breaks when he was in costume, other staff at the studios would see him and make comments about the poor caliber of the effects in the "rabbit movie".

Fleischer’s voice IS Roger in so many ways. All he can do to deliver Roger’s heart is speak, and Fleischer’s performance in this film is not to be underwritten because it is amazing. It is full with such life, such heart, and a surprising amount of honesty. It works brilliantly.

15) You have to keep your eyes open for the little innuendos in this film. For example, when Eddie meets Jessica at the crime scene he quickly peeks down at her boobs. This is the first time I’ve ever noticed that and I’ve seen this film a lot.

16) Christopher Lloyd as Judge Doom.

Director Robert Zemeckis had worked with Lloyd on their most iconic film Back to the Future (where Lloyd played Doc Brown), and now Lloyd gets to show off his villainous side. He is wonderfully and gleefully evil, showing no remorse and has a cartoon like quality which makes the bad guy work wonderfully in the role. He’s just threatening enough but also just funny enough. And Lloyd never phones it in once. It’s a fantastic performance through and through.

16.5) Can we talk about how this judge just murdered a cartoon shoe for no other reason than to show that he could and no one stopped him. Like, is the shoe technically a prop and so it doesn’t count as murder? Because that thing seems more alive than a prop!

17) So I talked about Roger’s voice actor but not much about Roger as a character yet.

Roger is a pure cartoon character, and I mean that in a sort of literal sense. He’s not tainted by greed or hatred, he is pure joy and humor. A bit of a dunce but he trusts people and WANTS to see the best in them. His entire purpose in life is to make people life and that feeds every decision he makes. It’s a wonderful cartoon counterpart to Hoskins as Eddie.

18) Hoskins’ interactions with Roger is where he shines. Because remember, Hoskins was not on set with Rogers. He was looking at an empty space which would be drawn in latter. But when you watch the film he’s never looking through the space. He’s miming it excellently, he is looking AT an animated character who isn’t even there yet. It’s amazing and the key reason he excels in the role.

19) I never caught this line before.

Roger [asking Eddie for help]: “You know there’s no justice for toons anymore.”

So toons are sort of a disenfranchised minority. That’s an interesting concept. If there’s a sequel maybe they’ll play with it.

20) According to IMDb:

When Eddie takes Roger Rabbit into the back room at the bar where Dolores works to cut apart the hand-cuffs, the lamp from ceiling is bumped and swinging. Lots of extra work was needed to make the shadows match between the actual room shots and the animation. Today, "Bump the Lamp" is a term used by many Disney employees to refer to going that extra mile on an effect just to make it a little more special, even though most audience members will never notice it.

21) @theforceisstronginthegirl, this is for you:

(GIF originally posted by @i-am-the-wallflower)

Nothing sums up Roger more than the fact that he can only get out of those handcuffs when it’s funny. It feeds into how Roger entertains all the guys at the tavern because they’re down on their luck, even though they could turn him over to Doom for a ton of cash (but they don’t). He believes in the power of laughter.

22)

Judge Doom [upon observing the record on the record player]: “‘The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down’. Quite a looney selection for a bunch of drunken reprobates.”

“The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down” is the theme to the Looney Tunes shorts.

23) The rest of the bar scene is filled with so many great cartoon gags. The fact that Judge Doom is able to lure Roger out by having him respond to, “Shave and a haircut,” is great. But a subtler reference is how Eddie gets Roger to drink the alcohol and loose control (thereby freeing himself from Doom). They go back and forth where Eddie wants Roger to drink the drink but Roger doesn’t want it, but when Eddie says Roger DOESN’T want the drink Roger says he wants it just to continue the conflict. Sound familiar?

24) Benny the cab is another fun original character added to the film, and he’s the same voice over actor as Roger!

25) I find this hysterical.

Benny [right before they’re going to hit a car]: “Pull the lever!”

Eddie: “Which one?”

Roger: “Which one?”

Benny: “‘WHICH ONE?’!?”

26) I am so ashamed of myself that I never caught the Back to the Future reference this film makes! Benny is driving down an alleyway and the evil weasels are driving straight towards him, and one of the weasels declares, “I’m gonna ram him!” Well in Back to the Future (also directed by Robert Zemeckis) Biff Tannen is about do the same thing to Marty McFly and says the EXACT same line as we get the EXACT same shot of his car!

I love that.

27) Me too Roger, me too.

Roger [expecting another cartoon to play in the movie theater but it’s a news reel]: “I hate the news.”

28) When we were introduced to Roger in the opening cartoon, I was trying to dissect what made him a unique cartoon character. Like Donald has his temper tantrums, Bugs Bunny is a wise guy, and Roger I’ve discovered likes to go on tangents. Like someone will tell him to do something and he’ll talk for five minutes about how well he’ll do it even when no one is around to listen. I like that.

29) The animated bullets Eddie uses in the gun given to him by Yosemite Sam are very much in the style of Chuck Jones and I can appreciate that.

30) It’s pretty fun watching for all the animated characters the filmmakers inserted into Toontown.

31) Droopy Dog is another cartoon character who shows up despite not being owned by Disney or WB. This meant he got to show up again later in an animated Roger Rabbit cartoon.

32) When Eddie is in a Toontown bathroom there’s writing on the wall that says, “For a Good Time Call Alyson ‘Wonderland’,” but then there’s no phone number. The theatrical release DID have a phone number but it was Michael Eisner’s home phone (I think) so it was edited out for the home video release.

33) What could possibly top Donald Duck & Daffy Duck dueling pianos?

I love everything about this. But it also gets to another agreement between WB & Disney: Disney did not want any of their characters doing anything to harm Eddie, so that’s why when he gets the “spare” from Mickey & Bugs (it’s a spare tire but he thought it was a parachute) it is BUGS who gives it to him!

Honestly it’d be awesome if Disney and WB could make more crossover cartoons. That would be pretty awesome.

34) File this one under jokes I didn’t get as a kid:

youtube

35) So Judge Doom’s end goal, his whole villainous plan, is to construct...a freeway? God, if it weren’t for the twist coming up that would’ve been so stupid.

36) Eddie’s comedy routine is great. It shows Bob Hoskins’ skill at slapstick and goofball and is just a joy to watch. Also we get this fun line:

Eddie: I'm through with taking falls / And bouncing off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the...

[bottle falls on his head]

Roger: Nose!

Head Weasel: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls."

Eddie: No, but this does. [kicks Head Weasel in the balls, propelling him into a vat of Dip]

37) Doom is a toon!

This is a nice twist in the film that you can totally see was setup if you’re looking for it. Christopher Lloyd is able to play Doom with an even bigger sense of cartoony evil, and it means his end goal of a freeway isn’t so stupid after all.

38) The train that hits the dip machine at the end has a bunch of window. If you go through it frame by frame, each window depicts someone being murdered. Fun fun fun.

39) According to IMDb:

The opening track on the Sting album "...Nothing Like the Sun", the song "The Lazarus Heart" was originally written as the movie's musical finale, at an early stage of the movie's production when the book's tragic ending, where Roger is killed in the crossfire during the final duel, was still in the script. When the studio ordered its default ending to be used at the film's end, in which Roger is alive at the end of the duel, however, the song was deleted from the script and ended up on Sting's album instead.

40) I like that the film ends not only with the classic, “That’s All Folks,” but also Tinkerbell to let us know this was special.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is awesome. It’s fun, funny, gives us interesting characters, has effects which stand the test of time even 29 years later, and is just a wonderful ride. Hoskins’ performance and the animation are the true standouts here, but that is not to discredit any of the other amazing aspects of the film. A true joy to watch all the way through.

#Who Framed Roger Rabbit #Roger Rabbit #Bob Hoskins #Jessica Rabbit #Robert Zemeckis #Epic Movie (Re)Watch #Christopher Lloyd #Charles Fleischer #Looney Tunes #Walt Disney #The More You Know #Movie #Film #GIF

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simonsperalta · 7 years

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questions

200: My crush’s name is: ahahaha 199: I was born in: my nanans bed 198: I am really: a hibernating bear 197: My cellphone company is: Giffgaff 196: My eye color is: greeny blue 195: My shoe size is: 7 194: My ring size is: no idea 193: My height is: 5′3 192: I am allergic to: nothing 191: My 1st car was: havent got one 190: My 1st job was: none yet 189: Last book you read: Jack The Ripper 188: My bed is: single like me 187: My pet: havent got one 186: My best friend: Maple Siwwip and my Riverdale buddy 185: My favorite shampoo is: rasperry 184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox 183: Piggy banks are: pigs 182: In my pockets: nothing 181: On my calendar: not got one 180: Marriage is: fun 179: Spongebob can: make krabby patties 178: My mom: was amazing love her 177: The last three songs I bought were? Lying is the most fun, Killing me softly and I write sins 176: Last YouTube video watched: Mamma Mia SOS 175: How many cousins do you have? many 174: Do you have any siblings? 5 173: Are your parents divorced? never got married 172: Are you taller than your mom? yes 171: Do you play an instrument? guitar, ukelele and keyboard 170: What did you do yesterday? sleep and eat chocolate [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: meh 168: Luck: meh 167: Fate: meh 166: Yourself: nah 165: Aliens: yah 164: Heaven: nah 163: Hell: yah 162: God: nah 161: Horoscopes:meh 160: Soul mates: yeh 159: Ghosts: yas 158: Gay Marriage: of course 157: War: no its evil 156: Orbs:meh 155: Magic: yeh mate [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: both 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: both 150: Blondes or Brunettes: both 149: Hot or cold: hot 148: Summer or winter: winter 147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: Night 144: Oranges or Apples: Apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: Mcdonalds 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: pah none 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: any 137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi 136: Hillary or Obama: Fuck uhm... both 135: Burried or cremated: Burried 134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: wot 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Kat 131: Small town or Big city: Small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben 128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure 127: East Coast or West Coast: dunno west 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers 124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney 123: Yankees or Red Sox: yankees [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: Evil 121: George Bush: isnt he horrible? idk 120: Gay Marriage: AMAZING AND IT SHOULD BE ALLOWED EVERYWHERE 119: The presidential election: stupid 118: Abortion: Should be allowed if the woman didnt want the child or it was due to an asult 117: MySpace: old 116: Reality TV: dumb 115: Parents: Dads can be dicks but mums are amazing 114: Back stabbers: fuck off 113: Ebay: good if you dont get scammed 112: Facebook: meh 111: Work: ffs annoying 110: My Neighbors: okay i guess 109: Gas Prices: idk 108: Designer Clothes: meh 107: College: okay 106: Sports: stupid 105: My family: cool 104: The future: ahahahaha [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: a few days ago 102: Last time you ate: 7 pm 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: last year 100: Cried in front of someone: no idea 99: Went to a movie theater: when i was 10 98: Took a vacation: when i was 11 97: Swam in a pool: a few years ago 96: Changed a diaper: never 95: Got my nails done: never 94: Went to a wedding: when i was 9 93: Broke a bone: two years ago 92: Got a peircing: last year 91: Broke the law: no idea 90: Texted: a second ago [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: my friend 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my family 87: The last movie I saw: Ghostbusters :3 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: the second one if it comes out I HOPE IT DOES 85: The thing im not looking forward to: scream series 3 84: People call me: nerd 83: The most difficult thing to do is: braid hair 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope 81: My zodiac sign is: gemini or cancer 80: The first person i talked to today was: my sister 79: First time you had a crush: year 1 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my best friend 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: last week 76: Right now I am talking to: a roleplayer 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: a person who helps physically and mentally disabled children 74: I have/will get a job: when im 20 73: Tomorrow: i will sleep 72: Today: i will sleep 71: Next Summer: i will sleep 70: Next Weekend: go to my bros 69: I have these pets: none 68: The worst sound in the world: Courtney from 13RW breathing 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: thinking of someone 66: People that make you happy: my friends and fam 65: Last time I cried: a few nights ago 64: My friends are: amazing 63: My computer is: lenovo 62: My School: is shit 61: My Car: non existent 60: I lose all respect for people who: are homophobic 59: The movie I cried at was: My sisters keeper 58: Your hair color is: Blackish brown 57: TV shows you watch: Scream, Voltron, 13RW, Gotham 56: Favorite web site: Tumblr 55: Your dream vacation: Japan 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: Heartbreak and loss 53: How do you like your steak cooked: in a oven or grill 52: My room is: messy 51: My favorite celebrity is: Bex Taylor-Klaus or Kate McKinnon 50: Where would you like to be: In new york 49: Do you want children: Meh 48: Ever been in love: Yes 47: Who’s your best friend: Maple siwwip and my riverdale theory bud 46: More guy friends or girl friends: Girl 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Listening to music 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My friend 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Nah 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: nope 41: Have you pre-named your children:eh 40: Last person I got mad at: my friend 39: I would like to move to: Japan or New York 38: I wish I was a professional: Skate Boarder [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: BlackJacks 36: Vehicle: 1967 Mustang 35: President: Obama 34: State visited: None 33: Cellphone provider: No idea 32: Athlete: Jessica Ennis 31: Actor: Benedict Cumberbatch 30: Actress: Bex T-K or Kate Mckinnon 29: Singer: Eden 28: Band: Panic! 27: Clothing store: Primark lmao 26: Grocery store: Tescos 25: TV show: Scream 24: Movie: Ghostbusters (2016) 23: Website: Tumblr 22: Animal: Bear or Otter 21: Theme park: BlackPool pleasure beach 20: Holiday: Halloween 19: Sport to watch: None 18: Sport to play: Football 17: Magazine: No idea 16: Book: any on serial killers 15: Day of the week: Friday 14: Beach: Blackpool 13: Concert attended: none 12: Thing to cook: spagghetti 11: Food: Spagghetti 10: Restaurant: Mcdonalds 9: Radio station: No idea 8: Yankee candle scent: All 7: Perfume: Lynx 6: Flower: Rose 5: Color: Black or red 4: Talk show host: James Corden 3: Comedian: Jack Whitehall 2: Dog breed: Alaskan Klee kai 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yes

#Questions #Questionares #Asks #Funthings #Funny

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