He Said, She Said | Part 4
Summary: Jake Lockley has entered the chat
Pairing: Steven x reader x Marc | Jake x reader
A/N: Please remember that I am French so there might be some mistakes here and there. Also this isn't beta read, and barely proof read. I hope you like it! Please do leave feedback!
Warnings: mentions of death, spoilers for Moon Knight episode 6
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
Steven buried his face in your neck as he wrapped his arms around you, clinging to you like an invisible force would come to pull him out of his bed. You held him tightly against you, knowing it reassured him to know you’d stop him from leaving you, even though you both knew Marc couldn’t be stopped if he took over the body.
He had revealed his last secrets, or at least you hoped he had.
Khonshu, Egyptian moon God, fist of vengeance, regenerating suit… it had been a lot to take in. And you felt like you were still trying to wrap your mind around it all. But you knew it was harder on Steven. It seemed like all you were doing now was try and keep Steven from falling apart. He had seen Marc at work that night. He had seen him kill. He couldn’t stop thinking about all the people Marc had killed ever since he had become Khonshu’s Avatar. The guilt was eating him alive.
“That’s why I didn’t want to tell him,” Marc had growled at you, like it was your fault he was killing all these people. “They’re murderers, predators! They deserve it.”
Whether they deserved it or not was not for you to decide, and you chose to trust Marc, you chose to believe he was right, not only that he was right, but that he was telling the truth, that he wasn’t lying to you. Because killing bad people was one thing, killing innocents was another.
Steven didn’t seem to care about the distinction. They were people, it wasn’t Marc’s place to take their life. You argued that if anyone could make that decision, it was a God, which had kept Steven quiet for a moment, as he realized perhaps you were right, perhaps only a higher power such as Khonshu could bring true and real justice.
And although he had tried to fight Marc on his nightly activities – putting a stop to Khonshu’s appearances which scared the hell out of him – you could tell he could feel the blood on Marc’s hands.
The only thing that seemed to settle him was you, your embrace. He was attached to you like he was a part of you. Always wanting to touch you, like he doubted you were real, like he doubted any of it was real. You made sure to always hug him back, always whisper he was all right, that everything was going to be okay.
And although you couldn’t know what the future held for you, you said it like you meant it, because you wanted everything to be all right and you would have done anything to make it true.
But that wasn’t up to you. And perhaps you should have known you had no control over any of it, because Marc owed a debt to an Egyptian God after all, and perhaps you should have known they had no control over it either, but it still surprised you when they disappeared from London. When they disappeared from your life.
You came back from work one day finding Steven’s flat empty. It didn’t worry you at first, you thought Steven was at work. But then night fell on the city, and still, neither he nor Marc showed up. They didn’t come back that night.
Or the day after that.
Or the day after that.
Or the day after that.
You had gone to the police, had filed a missing person report, had asked help on social media, had done everything you could think of until it all felt hopeless and you woke up one morning in Steven’s flat with a feeling in your chest, a pain shooting through your entire body from your heart. He was dead. They were dead. And you didn’t know what to do.
You didn’t want to move on. You felt like it wasn’t over, like you could maybe find a God or a witch or an Avenger to help you bring them back. You wanted to do all of that, but you didn’t know where to start, where to look, who to talk to.
You came back from work one evening feeling completely empty and defeated, with the aim to drop on Steven’s bed and fall asleep wearing one of his sweaters, crying into the pillows, but when you pushed your key into the hole, you noticed the door was already unlocked.
At first you thought someone had broken in and stolen everything you had left of him, of them, and your heart would have shattered completely had it been true. But then the door swung open, and you came face to face with Marc.
Your heart stopped as you saw him and you dropped your purse on your feet. He gave you an apologetic look as he saw the pain on your face and quickly his features disappeared to allow Steven’s to take over.
“You’re here,” he breathed out as he launched himself towards you.
You were frozen in place, shock having paralyzed you as tears appeared in your eyes.
“I’m so sorry, oh, you have no idea what we’ve been through… I was so worried you wouldn’t be here when we came back, so worried…”
“Steven,” you let out in a whisper and he moved back to look at you, taking your face between his hands. “What… I thought… I thought you were dead…”
“Yeah,” he chuckled sadly, “yeah, me too.”
You were too stunned to even comprehend his words and he didn’t wait for you to respond as he took your hand and dragged you inside his flat. He sat you on the couch and started explaining everything to you. His words collided with each other inside your mind as you listened to him, to his story, and you only understood half of it. When he was done he could see you were still thunderstruck, your grief clashing with your confusion, your love being torn apart by reality, you felt like you were losing your mind. He kneeled at your feet, placing his large hands over yours resting on your lap. He called your name softly and you blinked. All the information he had just given you about where he had been and what he had been doing had given you a severe headache and you shook your head, your tears flying away, your doubts and grief disappearing under a veil of emotional exhaustion.
“You’re alive,” you said as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “I missed you so much.”
Anger surged through you, hitting you like a wave, as it ate your pain away. You backed away quickly and slapped him hard across the face, the gesture taking him by surprise in more ways than one. But the look in your eyes caused him more pain than your hand meeting his cheek.
“How could you do this to me?” you spat as you stood up. “You disappeared! For days!”
“I- I’m sorry, I couldn’t… We had to…”
“I don’t care what you had to do! Couldn’t you call me? Leave me a text? Anything to let me know you were okay? That you were coming back? Couldn’t you do that when you landed in Cairo?”
“I would have. I wanted to. I didn’t have control of the body…”
“Your phone is Marc’s phone, isn’t it?”
“Actually… his phone is my phone…”
“Marc!” you called, making Steven jump as you startled him, “Marc!”
You watched Steven disappear before you as Marc took over. He opened his mouth but you didn’t give him the chance to speak.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I told you, I had a debt to repay.”
“A text message, Marc! Just to let me know you’d be back!”
“I didn’t know if we would!” he shouted back at you, startling you this time. “I didn’t know we’d survive this. And we didn’t… We… We shouldn’t be here.”
As he spoke, Steven’s previous words echoed inside your head, reminding you of the fact that they were shot and brought back to life by Osiris himself, in a unique miracle that probably didn’t happen all that often.
Shame took over you, washing your anger away. Now you felt bad for yelling at them, they whom had basically just saved the world and died doing so.
“But all we wanted to do was come back to you, I swear,” Marc continued as he placed his hands on either side of your face. “We thought about you every day, praying we’d make it back, praying you were okay. Safe.”
A shaky breath escaped you as you grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him towards you, burying your face in his chest, breaking in tears.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around you. “It’s all over now. It’s all gonna be okay. Normal.”
You scoffed, as if you didn’t believe it.
But it was. It became normal. You had a boyfriend, two-in-one as Steven had said himself jokingly once. You settled into a routine. It was similar to the one you had before, except Marc wasn’t leaving the flat at night to be the fist of vengeance of the Egyptian moon God anymore. Marc and Steven got along really well, switching easily, sharing each other’s lives, sharing you.
Steven had started writing a book about what had happened, saying he might publish it one day if it turned out to be any good, that it would make a good fictional story. You thought it was a good idea, that it would be therapeutic for both of them to write down their experience, their trauma.
Steven’s writing kept him up late at night, and you had gotten used to going to bed alone, but waking up with their strong arms around you. You had forgotten that feeling, forgotten that knot in your stomach when you woke up alone, Steven or Marc nowhere to be found in the flat.
But one night that feeling returned as you woke up in an empty bed once more, and that knot returned when you saw the light in the bathroom, your mind suddenly bringing you back to that night you met Marc. You quietly made your way to them, they had their hands in the sink, their back turned to you.
“Marc?” your tired voice broke as you called for them.
They froze, their head tilting to the side slightly as they acknowledged your presence.
“Estas despierta, preciosa?”
You chuckled as you took a step closer, putting a hand on his arm.
“Is that Spanish?”
Your eyes fell on his hands and your heart sank as you saw the blood-soaked shirt he was trying to clean.
“Not Marc, querida.”
Not Marc. Not Steven.
He must be that third one they were afraid of. And now you were afraid of. And he could see it through your reflection in the mirror. He chuckled.
“I know you’re bad at keeping secrets,” he said. “You made Marc tell Steven the truth. Well… some of the truth.”
“Marc doesn’t know about you.”
“He doesn’t need to know.”
“I think he does.”
“He won’t like it. Steven won’t like it.”
“That’s what Marc said.”
“And he was right.”
“But look at them now,” you said and he scoffed. “Why is there blood on that shirt?”
“Ah, you saw that, did you?” he sighed. “That’s too bad, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to kill you.”
Your eyes grew big as your heart skipped a beat and you gulped as you took a step back, your feet moving on their own. But as you were about to exit the bathroom he caught you by the arm and pulled you towards him. You yelped as he pushed you against the door frame, pain shooting through your spine. You trembled under him as he watched you with a wicked smirk.
“Relax. I’m kidding,” he chuckled as he let you go. “Name’s Jake,” he said, bringing a finger to his forehead and nodding at you. “Nice to meet you.”
“You have a weird sense of humor, Jake,” you sighed with relief.
“That’s not the worst thing about me, preciosa,” he replied as he turned back to the sink and resumed his previous task.
“Do I want to know what is?”
“No, so don’t ask.”
“I think I can guess.”
“Really?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m guessing the blood on that shirt isn’t yours.”
“You’re guessing correctly.”
“I’m guessing Khonshu is working with you now, and Marc and Steven don’t know.”
“Another correct guess.”
“Why? How can you do this to them? They wanted to be free of him!”
“And they are,” he shrugged. “But I liked the job too much,” he said with a smirk as he winked at you.
“You like killing people?”
“Bad people, who deserve to be punished. Wouldn’t you?”
“No, I wouldn’t like killing people.”
“It’s not about killing people. It’s about killing murderers. Rapists. Pedophiles… people who escape the corrupt justice system.”
“I don’t wanna know about what you do at night, Jake,” you sighed.
“Eh, you asked, cariño,” he shrugged.
“Why don’t they know about you?”
“I’ve never met them.”
“You share a body,” you reminded him with skepticism as you crossed your arms over your chest.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
You rolled your eyes. You weren’t sure you liked him very much. In fact, you were pretty certain you didn’t like him at all.
“So what are you going to do?” you asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Are you going to tell them?”
You sighed. “I can’t not tell them.”
“Because they will find out one day and when they do they’ll be mad!”
“But they’ll be mad to know I exist too. It’s a… lose-lose situation, as they say.”
You frowned. “Is that why you don’t want them to know? You’re afraid they won’t accept you?”
“I don’t need to test that theory, preciosa, I know they won’t. I’m everything they’re against.”
Well, he wasn’t wrong, you thought. They will be mad and they will want to put a stop to it, and you doubted Khonshu would let that happen, so they’ll just become his Avatar again, or worse, they’ll refuse to allow Jake to do his work and anger the moon God and who knows what will happen then…
“Did Khonshu know you’ll still be his Avatar when he promised them to let them go?”
“You know about that? Yeah, he did.”
“But how come you haven’t met them yet? They talked about a headspace they have, in their mind, where they can meet and talk together… why aren’t you there?”
“I’m locked out.”
“Because I have my own headspace. I can see them, they can’t see me.”
“Aye, cariño,” he sighed, “you ask a lot of questions.”
“And you don’t answer any of them…”
“Look, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, it’s better if they don’t know, because they’ll hate to know.”
“But it’s the truth. And they will find out one day. What if you get hurt one night? What happens then?”
“Khonshu’s suit will protect me.”
“And what happens when Khonshu finds a new Avatar?”
“My guess is, I’ll disappear.”
“Because what else am I supposed to do?”
“Listen, Jake, I’ve been reading a lot about DID, like, a lot, you guys are a part of a system, you have to let them know you’re here!”
“So they can fight me and Khonshu every step of the way? It’s easier this way.”
He scoffed. “I’ll get over it.”
“But they won’t!”
“They don’t want to know about me! They won’t like me. They won’t let me in!”
“Yes, they will!”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I’ll make them accept you.”
He turned slightly towards you as he gave you a puzzled look.
“Why would you do that?”
“Because, Jake, you’re one of Marc’s alters. You’re a part of him. They need to know you’re there, and they need to know what you’re doing, before they wake up one night in the middle of a fight and get hurt! And they’ll be more likely to accept you if you come forward. You can’t wait until they figure it out by themselves. It’ll make things worse!”
He stared at you as he pondered your words, as he thought about the two options you had laid out before him.
“Things are already at their worst,” he said before turning back to the sink.
“What does that mean?”
“I’ve done everything they didn’t want to do. Because I wanted to do it. I’m different than them.”
“Different doesn’t mean bad.”
“I kill for Khonshu because they don’t want to.”
“What if you stopped?”
He scoffed. “Even if I wanted to, Khonshu won’t let me go. And I don’t want him to. I told you. I like the job too much.”
“I think it’s something you should figure out with Marc and Steven.”
“Steven will get scared. Marc will try and stop me.”
“Can he? Stop you?”
Jake let out an annoyed sigh as he took the shirt and threw it in the bathroom bin.
“He can be a pain in the ass, at most. What about you? Are you going to be a pain in my ass, hermosa?”
“Jake, you’re part of a system I love. I want to get to know you, be your friend. I want you to get along with them too, what you’re doing is unhealthy, for all three of you. And they will find out eventually. Just tell them now. I’ll help.”
“You really think you can make them accept me?”
“I’m not saying it’ll be easy. But it’ll be easier than hiding. Jake… you must feel so lonely.”
“I’m used to it,” he shrugged as he leaned back against the doorframe opposite you.
You cupped his cheek with your hand, which seemed to surprise him.
“You’re not alone Jake. Isn’t that the point?”
A sad chuckle escaped him. “They’ll hate me.”
“I’m sure you’re not that bad.”
“Oh querida,” he said as he pushed himself off the wall, trapping you between him and the doorframe, put his hand above your head and leaned forward, taking your hand in his and bringing his face inches from yours, “but I am.”
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