#dissociation anon

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hi! Dissociation anon here, with a lil positive update after quite the few months:D How have you been? I hope you are doing well:>

So, I officially spend like 90% of my time 3,5 hours away from my abusers and their dysfunction while I get that education!! Med school is all nine circles of hell, btw, but in the times in which I am not sleep deprived beyond belief after having to prepare for three big tests and write five projects in three days, I am enjoying myself quite a bit! Also formaldehyde stinks like a bitch and cadavers look much grayer than you might think, but that's besides the point.

Honestly the first few months after leaving were HARD, but then again, I am the idiot who decided to unpack their own trauma without a professional therapist and with a tiny support system as soon as I could. Though to be honest, as grueling as the trauma work was, it definitely was worth it, as now, seven months in, I have much less prominent issues and am generally a thousand percent mentally healthier than I used to be. Still dissociate occasionally, though, because I guess some things never change lmao

But I've made quite a few new friends in med school and honestly that helps a lot to deal with any bad days that come with traumatic memories resurfacing, so that's neat!)

Bad thing is - the drama in the dysfunctional family system has gotten a lot worse since I left. Good thing - due to my physical absence I don't need to deal with it:D It's because of the economic crisis the country is in, you know, but I needn't worry!! There is never enough doctors, so even the newbies get snatched as early as possible (I kid you not, I literally had a "You wanna work for us when you finish med school?" Offer when I went to a clinic for a routine check up two weeks ago, and I have five more years of studying left) So, despite the general nation-wide spread of gloom, personally I'm feeling pretty good about the future, and that's definitely a first!

So like, let this be testament to anyone out there struggling to the fact that getting out of an abusive situation is completely possible, and life, in fact, can get better! So like, good luck to all of the other anons and good luck to you, as well!:D

Hi again!!!! It's so nice to hear from you, and I'm so so happy things are going well in med school! I have an irl friend who's also studying medicine in uni, so I have some idea of how nightmarish that can be 😅 I'm really glad you're enjoying yourself in between all of it despite the stress!

I can't even begin to imagine how awful it must be to unpack your trauma without professional support! The first months after I left my mother were also horrible even with help, but luckily everything started changing for the better soon afterwards. I'm so glad you're doing so much better now, and I hope things keep changing for the better for you! It's so so great to hear you've made friends and don't have to deal with your family drama anymore and the future is looking good 😊

I second this message: life can absolutely be better after abuse, even if you can't bring yourself to believe or envision that right now.

Also, thanks for asking! I'm doing well, just now recovering from Covid and trying to get back on my feet, but other than that things are looking better for me too ❤️ sending a big virtual hug!

#dissociation anon #Ask #Abuse #Abuse recovery #Abusive parents #Abuse tw #Recovery #Corpse mention #Covid mention

[ky-landfill]

what if,,, baby jason and baby dick,,, at the SAME TIME?? rip bruce

#bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #baby jay #Baby Jay is jealous #Bruce is dissociating #Dick is blissfully unaware #Batman #batdad #robatbatinbat #prompt response #nga mihi anon <3 #the thinking machine

[sleepyhighslvt]

I swear there's nothing that an edible and a shower can't fix

#like ugh #thc and tlc #lol #bd/sm community #18+ blog #free use kink #bd/sm blog #bd/sm brat #bd/sm kink #bd/sm relationship #mine #natural body #natural curves #thickwomen #im so tired #degredation kink #bisexual #420stoner #peace and dissociation #there are things they cant fix but sh #daddy's good girl #free use slvt #r4p3b4it #:) kinky #dms open #inbox open #send me anons #my back hurts kill me #ignore the hickies 🫣

[ozwynstars]

I don’t think people understand privacy with systems, especially around headmates that are minors.

I find it so infuriating when people dig for everyone in our system, especially when they question about the littles, because no, we won’t share that with a random stranger online.

Think about how people dislike family vloggers and generally encourage people to not show their kid’s faces and names online. Same concept, but the kid was also previously horribly traumatized.

With our system we don’t share any headmates that aren’t adults online unless they are both teenagers or older and also are anonymous. It’s about being a responsible adult and keeping children safe, especially with online spaces being the way that they are.

Different systems share different amounts about their littles and headmates who are minors, and that is their decision and their business! Respect that as well.

Systems deserve respect in what they share about their younger headmates with the world, and I am so tired of getting poked at to publicly share these things. We are allowed to have our privacy. Nobody is entitled to your or others personal information, no matter what.

#ozwyn speaks #anon headmate speaks #plurality #actuallyplural #plural system #system stuff #system issues #plural community #traumagenic system #pluralgang #dissociative system #actually traumagenic

[raisans-art]

Brothers starter is so messed up because even in the scenerio that Emmet gets to be human again, hes not been human for at least a decade. Can he even go back to living like that? Hes legally dead, he never finished school or made human connections outside of Ingo and even then the connection between a pokemon and human is far different from two humans. He doesnt really have a reason to try being human again apart from giving ingo back his twin, not even a reason for himself.

You can never go home again.

#ask raisans #submas #submas au #emmet #subway boss emmet #submas angst #brothers starter au #tw dissociation #implied but just to be sure #you get it anon #you understand

[circulars-reasoning]

Hi, I hope this ask isn’t too invasive…

You’ve mentioned before that you’re an English teacher, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to speak a bit on how you became one (education? certifications?) and what it’s like for you teaching while living with DID.

The reason I ask is, I’m a senior in high school and I’ll be going to college in the fall. I’m really worried because I have so many alters who all want different things for my life. But in general, I’m drawn to teaching and many of my alters are okay with the idea of pursuing this as a career - especially if I can teach English, which has always been my best subject (I’m in the US).

I’m really scared about entering the adult world, and want to be as prepared as possible for this shift. Hearing from a system who followed the career path I’m considering would be really amazing!

If this ask bothers you or if you’re not comfortable answering it, I totally understand. Thank you for your time and consideration!

- Freya

Hey!!! Sorry I missed this ask -- I hardly use this blog and actually plan on deleting it soon. Just need to get around to reblogging the important posts.

But this is an important one, and I really want to respond here, in the hopes that you'll see it.

I'm an English teacher for 6th grade in the US, and I can say that, without a doubt, college was harder than being a teacher is currently. Do not let your experiences in college stop you from your goal. The professors will not be kind to you, especially if you don't know what's happening to you.

I'm going to pop this under a cut because boy howdy I am rambling.

In terms of college and working to become a teacher with DID:

Firstly, and most importantly: Scheduling. You will need to be completely on top of scheduling out your few years of college. You don't need to be perfect, mind you, but please be aware of what classes are required and when you will take them. My college fucked me over on this. The reason it's so vital is because most education programs in the US are 5 year programs -- 4 years of college, and a 5th year of one semester of a "practicum" (an unpaid internship at a school). During your practicum, you're not supposed to take any extra classes. I was taking 3 classes on top of my practicum to stay under 5 years. Don't do this. Either bite the bullet and do that extra 5th year of schooling, or plan accordingly so you don't get stuck the same way I did.

Now that that's out of the way:

DID definitely impacted my ability to study for things. It really helped having someone else holding me accountable; my partner, my roommate for 3 of my 4 years of college, really helped me out and basically did the education degree alongside me in spirit. If you can, find someone else to help you study.

That someone else should not be a fellow education major. This is because almost all of them will drop out by the time you graduate. That's a sorry truth, unfortunately. In my Junior Literature class of 6 students in my junior year, only 3 moved on with their degree; in my senior year, I was the only one who moved on. This is because college is fucking grueling, and everyone dropped out, thinking teaching would be harder (I'll get to that).

Don't try to overcome your disorder in college. Don't try to heal or recover while going through classes. Try to survive. You do not need to focus on recovery immediately, and it is a BAD idea to pile that much on your shoulders while in college and while teaching. Try to maintain and survive as best as you can. Recovery is a process and it will work on its own as you go through.

You can absolutely bullshit your way through an English degree, easy. It's not hard. Especially if you start writing about fanfiction in Lit 101 -- or at least, in my experience, that got me far. If you know you'd good at English, I would highly recommend it, esp if you're good at School English.

For your other classes, you'll likely have to do gen ed credits. Be creative and have fun. To fulfill my math credits, I took programming and "mathematical excursions" (you do fun shit with math and learn to pay for a house -- it was incredible). To fulfill science credits, I took Astronomy as a night class and got to look through a telescope during a night class for an A. It was awesome. (Well, ok, that class sucked, but you get the point).

DON'T OVERSTACK YOUR CREDITS. I wouldn't go above 18 credits per semester. I usually did around 16, and the minimum we could do was 12. Don't go minimum, but do not overstack. Again, scheduling, don't overschedule yourself.

You'll take a form of practicum each year more than likely. This will be where you go to a school and teach for a bit, and then you'll go do homework about what you taught. In your first year or two, you won't be doing almost any of the teaching; you'll shadow a mentor teacher who will show you how to do the thing. This is honestly so beneficial, but...

TAKE NOTES. For fucks sake, the memory part of DID fucking destroyed me in college, and notes would improve everything. Take double notes, honestly -- physical notes while in the school, and digital notes once you get home.

GET ENOUGH SLEEP. DID leads to insomnia so frequently. Start trying to keep good sleeping habits now, because it WILL get worse as college goes on. Do NOT do what I did and try to survive on 3 hours of sleep a night. It is not sustainable and you will catch every single disease these kids transfer onto people, I swear to god.

The Dean of Students will actually help. A lot. Please go to them if you're struggling. If you can't go, then send someone you trust to advocate for you. In my senior year when everything was going to shit with my mentor teacher (she was a horrible woman) and the admin at school were shitty to me (again, a horrible woman in charge), my partner went to the Dean and advocated for me. That mentor teacher was forced to retire from the school the next year, and my admin had to extend my semester by 3 days to give me a better practicum with someone who could actually do their fucking job. Do not feel scared to advocate.

Please. Please, if you remember nothing, remember this: do not listen to your coworkers in your final practicum. Don't listen to what they say about you becoming a teacher. These people are jaded assholes who, in my experience, want nothing more than to bomb the school. I wish I was kidding, but genuinely, so many of them are horrifically jaded and don't want to be there, ESPECIALLY when your practicum starts (which almost always coincides with state testing schedules). Teaching is awesome, genuinely, so long as you enjoy it.

And lastly for the college aspect: It gets easier. It really does. College was absolute hell for me up through senior year. This was because not only was I doing full coursework (ouch), but I was also starting to really understand and process bits of my trauma (yikes) and I was still with my abusers (yikes). This makes it so, so much harder, in so many ways. And I still did it. And now, here I am to live and tell the tale, and now that I am a teacher?

This shit is so much more forgiving. I have slipped up so fucking much, but as long as you do your best and mean well, your bosses will fucking adore you. They desperately need warm bodies in the room to help make sure the kids don't set fire to each other, and you are certainly going to fit the job description if you give a single shit.

Be open about some of your issues, but not all. I'm very open at work that I suffer from a disorder that leads to amnesia, but I'm careful about how I do this. "I actually have an issue that leads to a lot of forgetfulness, so if it's possible that you could send me a reminder of that meeting, I'd appreciate it." That's all I needed, and now we have a group calendar and my coworker has forgiven me numerous times for missing something.

Your mistakes as a system are completely seen as just. Normal Ass Human Mistakes. Forgot a meeting? Happens to everyone. Broke down crying in front of the kids? Shit fam, the teacher across the hallway walked out last week, you're doing remarkably just because you stayed.

The kids can fuck you up. Genuinely. They WILL trigger you. You WILL get memories of your childhood and it WILL hurt. And you will get through them with patience, time, and understanding. It'll be okay. Please, work hard on reminding yourself that these kids are not actively malicious. They do not understand your perspective.

To that note, almost every single teacher I know has a therapist. It is not a shocker to be in therapy. Most teachers need it. If you don't have one, I highly recommend getting one, if just to bitch about your coworkers with someone who will nod and say, "You deserved better than that, you're right."

Most of teaching is paperwork and meetings. Like genuinely, it's kind of ridiculous. We have meetings every Monday and Thursday, with occasional meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday. It's a LOT of meetings, and everything needs documented.

Work life balance. Please have one. This is when you start working on not bringing work home.

MULTIPLE CHOICE QUIZZES ARE OKAY. GENUINELY. I was so firmly against them as a student in college -- "that doesn't test genuine knowledge!" Neither does school. Please save yourself the hours of grading and do a few multiple choice quizzes. In some counties the system you use will autograde them.

God I could talk about this for hours on end. I'm really genuinely happy to answer so many questions about this. If you want to know anything specific, feel free to ask. I'm also over on @circular-bircular and plan to use that as my main system blog, so you can ask me more questions there if you want.

You've got this. I am absolutely rooting for you.

#Rambling lol #Teacher rant #asks #anon #armageddon comes while I'm sleeping #actually did #dissociative identity disorder

[artemispt]

Idk if it has been noticed before but during the Spanish GP 2023 drivers press conference, Lando discreetly STARES at Carlos' crotch (at 8min58s - sadly I cant send you the YT link...). He first scratches his nose, then uses his hand to hide his downward gaze.

I don’t think I noticed that before 🫠

#thanks for pointing that out anon! #Lando staring and Carlos dissociating #if Carlos had noticed Lando would say ‘I was staring at the mic between your legs 😏’ #carlando #drivers press conference #Spanish gp 2023 #carlos dissociating #Lando’s courtship ritual

[keets-writing-corner]

One thing I noticed is that Lucifer doesn't disassociate when singing, and what's one common factor in his songs? Charlie, so I like to imagine that in these instances he's so focused on her that his depression temporarily takes a back seat because he loves his kid so much that he forgets why he's sad in the first place.

ooh I like your headcanons!

hmm I guess we could look at this a couple of different ways (some of what I'm about to say comes from personal experience which may be different than what some other people experience so idk feel free to agree or disagree with my musings)

So dissociation doesn't [technically] affect your ability to speak, it affects your ability to focus. The way I was talking about it in my analysis was that it nerfed Lucifer's conversation comprehension, with him being unable to follow along the entire time (and consequently either has NO idea what anyone is talking about or only gets half the picture).

The only times Lucifer really fumbles his words is when he gets nervous around Charlie either cuz he's trying to make a good impression

Or when he realizes his depression is biting him in the ass and he just missed crucial pieces of information and cannot bluff his way through the conversation

Although shout out to that one time we caught him realizing he needed to bluff and stumbled a little

But otherwise, he articulates himself perfectly fine, cuz again, dissociation isn't about speaking ability so much as it is about focus. Even in my bouts of dissociation I can verbalize myself just fine for the most part, it's whether or not what I have to say is relevant to the conversation, which uh Lucifer also showed off at some point when he thought Charlie was asking him about the hotel's appearance rather than her actual plan to redeem sinners and comments on the railings. (Or idk there is another interpretation that he was avoiding the subject, maybe it was both he disassociated while Charlie was explaining everything to him but did catch that she wanted to redeem sinners at some point, but didn't quite understand what she was asking until she clarified? he didn't seem surprised when she did clarify so I'm assuming he ended up catching it at least once)

So I'm bringing this up because it ends up being kinda hard to tell whether or not he is or is not disassociating when he sings, cuz the dissociation wouldn't affect the singing at all.

When he's having a sing battle against Alastor, sure he's articulating himself well and presenting his points, but we don't actually know whether or not he's following along what Alastor is saying. Honestly, Lucifer vs Alastor just seemed like 2 territorial chickens yelling at each other trying to be louder than the other one. Maybe Lucifer is catching everything cuz his jealous and rage helped him focus for once, maybe he's not catching everything but he doesn't need to catch everything to know that he doesn't like Alastor and he doesn't need to focus to tell Alastor how much he dislikes him.

But what about the other two songs, "More than Anything" and "Finale"?

He is technically outright having a conversation with Charlie in the first one and in the second one, he seems fully aware of the context of the situation and is focusing more on a lifting spirits role

Well it could be a lot of things I think. I don't think it's that the depression or the sadness took a back seat, that's still present. From my own experiences, it is possible to get yourself to focus in a dissociative episode when the subject matter is something you're passionate about or in Lucifer's case, someone that he loves. We know the dissociation was unfortunately strong enough that it was making him miss out on a lot of things Charlie (aforementioned loved one) was telling him, especially in the beginning.

But looking at "More than Anything" what changed in that scene? He was with Charlie the entire episode but that was the first scene where he really managed to hold a conversation. I think it was a combination of: Okay his baby girl is there and she NEEDS him, and he opens up as to why he's hesitant about her plan. He's not explicit with the mention of his trauma, but trauma does make someone more alert. I'd also like to give a special shout out to @in-fair-verona-we-set-our-scene who made these lovely tags on my analysis post

Specifically, I want to talk about that they mention that Lucifer is being a lot more genuine in his song with Charlie, aka he's not masking. He's not trying to hide or bluff how he's doing. He's not putting on a show, he's not being goofy or larger than life, he's being genuine and his genuine self is tired, sad and resigned. Let me tell you, my dissociation is 100% worse when I'm masking.

I think in "More Than Anything" a mix of things are going on, he's not needing to mask for a minute which boosts the focus, he's opening up about trauma and it's being gently received which boosts focus, and he's talking to someone he loves about something he was once passionate about which boosts focus. So ye! It could entirely be that in that song he was not dissociating!

As far as "Finale" I legitimately can't really tell whether or not he is? He's not really having a conversation with anyone, he's just trying to uplift his daughter, and again, in my experiences, dissociation doesn't necessarily nerf your ability to speak. We also know that he knows how to put on a show even in the depths of the dissociation like in "Hell's Greatest Dad" soooo as for that song... -shrug-?????

There is an element here that we have to take into account. Hazbin Hotel is a traditional musical, so we must look at a theater saying, "When the emotion becomes too strong for speech, you sing." Which is more or less what happened in all the songs Lucifer was a part in, so there's definitely some meta technical things going on in that a song wouldn't be very dramatic if the person singing it was dissociating the whole time? I mean I guess it could be done, I've just never seen it? Usually the musical number has to be clear in its purpose. The protagonist of Dear Even Hansen can sing just fine when any other speaking parts he fumbles with his words a lot.

AAAAAAALLL of this to say: Does Lucifer stop disassociating when he sings? -shrugs- I think it really depends on the context, but I wouldn't at all be surprised cuz high emotion can lead to greater focus in a moment. Although it's really cute to think that he doesn't dissociate cuz singing with Charlie is just that much of a boost for him cuz he loves his wittle girl

#Hazbin hotel #Lucifer #Lucifer Morningstar #Dissociation #Singing #Hazbin Hotel spoilers #I'm glad you sent me this ask #I've actually been thinking about this a lot tbh #But I've been so busy writing my depresso lucifer fic that I just haven't sat down to properly mull this over yet #Judging from the replies of my last analysis #I hit the nail on the head with a lot of people struggling with dissociation #So I hope that this will extend here as well #but everyone experiences shitty mental health a little differently as well #so I hope that what I'm using to make an analysis this time still rings true and isn't just a me experience #anyways #love the scrunkly #Very excited for season 2 now #meta #analysis #anon ask

[aspd-culture]

ASPD culture is not understanding why people freak out about the idea of dead human bodies because it's just meat. It used to be alive and now it isn't. You wouldn't freak out about the idea of roadkill, would you? What's the difference

aspd-culture is

#tw death #tw dissociation #putting that one because associating humans with flesh can cause dissociation despite being accurate #not trying to trigger anyone on accident #aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

[many-but-one]

is it okay to ask for advice with working with higher-ups/inner reprogrammers? we’re making good progress with one, but do kinda worry that we’re moving too fast or will screw it up

Yes, it's alright to ask this. And there are multiple asks with this similar question, so I'll use yours to answer all of them. I'm not going to go too deep into how to unravel the beliefs that IPs have because they can vary so much. This is more going to be related to how you can gain their trust so they are willing to begin the unraveling process.

How to work with higher ups/IPs:

The very first thing I will always say is radical acceptance. Parts don't do what they do for no reason, they do things because they were taught to do them, even if those things are bad. Higher ups and IPs are often some of the most traumatized parts in a system, who hold some of the highest forms of manipulation that the group did upon a system, and they deserve love, support, care, and understanding just as much as any other part. They may reject this at first, they may fear this at first, they may lash out at this at first. This is usually because they believe they don't deserve it, they aren't allowed to have it, or they feel guilty for the "bad" things that they have done and believe that they do not deserve redemption. This is not true. Helping them understand this is not true is important.

Make sure parts are less isolated from each other, if it is safe to do so. A lot of the times, IPs and higher ups stay rigid in their feelings and opinions because they are isolated in those opinions. If they are only around other parts who hold those same feelings and opinions, it becomes and echo chamber and all of those parts will not be able to unravel those beliefs. Some of our most successfully deprogrammed parts have deprogrammed because they had support from both outside of the system and inside of the system. We often assign them protectors or caretakers to be like a buddy for them, someone that can handle if they lash out and will understand that if they lash out, it's unlikely because of anything that part did but out of fear. Radical acceptance and love and care is going to be so important here. It's not easy, but you have to stick to it.

Help them find new jobs that benefit the system rather than harm the system. A common theme for our IPs is "well, if I don't do this, what else do I do? What else am I good for? I'm nothing if I don't do this" etc etc etc. Finding them a different job in the system will help them find a better purpose than causing harm. All parts do things for a reason, and if that reason doesn't exist anymore (like not being in contact with abusers anymore, or not needing a certain program to run for your own safety anymore) then they can feel very lost and confused. Parts, unsurprisingly, like being helpful and useful if they can be, they just need the motivation and support to be able to change course.

Remember that no matter how awful an IP is, what they do is out of protection of the system. Hear me out on this one, please. Yes, HC-DID systems were not made to benefit the system. They were made for benefit to the abusers. However, regardless of this, all actions that IPs take are to keep the child safe, even if those actions put the child in harm's way in the end. Some examples of this include: 1) a callback alter going back to the abusers because they believe that if they do not go back, they will be punished. They may not have the foresight to understand that going back will be harmful to them, their main goal is to not be punished for not going back, so they go back to avoid that punishment, 2) a beta (sex) alter allowing sexual assault to happen because if they try to fight back, that will cause more harm in the long run. If they are conditioned to pretend to enjoy it, they may even do that, because if they didn't back then, then they would have been punished. So while they are putting the body in harm's way by allowing SA to occur, they are also trying to protect the body because if they don't allow it to happen, even worse punishments will occur. 3) a gamma (loyalty) part is programmed to be loyal to the abusers. If they were not loyal to them in the past, they would be punished. So no matter how loyal they really are, they more than likely will hold a facade of being extremely loyal and wanting to serve the abusers to avoid any punishment that will occur if they don't.

Overall, it's very important to help IPs understand that this is the present day, and that you are away from the abusers, and that the abusers will never know that they aren't doing their jobs (unless you have active reporter parts, in which those need to be addressed before anything else) and that whatever the abusers told them to make them think they would know when they aren't doing their jobs is just part of a Big Lie to get them to be compliant. Reminding parts that they didn't deserve the pain they were put under and that they can change and that the system will accept them no matter what they've done is imperative. Holding grudges against parts who have hurt you is kind of par for the course, but still doing your best to accept them regardless of what's happened in the past is ***required*** for healing and deprogramming IPs.

Hope that helped a bit! :)

#did osdd #did alters #dissociative identity disorder #did #trauma #did system #tbmc #mind control programming #ramcoa #ramcoa tw #mc tw #tbmc tw #programming tw #hc did #hc did system #polyfrag system #advice #anon ask #answered asks

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hey!!! Dissociation anon here with absolutely wonderful news!!! It's been a crazy couple of months filled with university applications and a depression spiral, but yesterday it was confirmed that I managed to squeeze into a scholarship place!!! I'm going to university for free!!! For medicine!! I camped in the uni until like 6 pm to make sure I made it in on a scholarship, it was crazy

And it's in another city like, four hours from when I currently live, so I'll be moving out of my abusive house (though they will probably demand that I go back there on weekends, but that's a problem future me will have to worry about)!! Unfortunately, the good news haven't been without some drama: for example, when I came home (after spending ten fucking hours travelling to the uni and back & staying there) my brother tried to make it about himself and ruined everyone's mood & my mother is now playing the "oh no, you're leaving!" game despite being the one who constantly screamed about how horrible of a person I'll be if she'll have to pay for my education , but oh well, fuck them, I'm celebrating! Now I just have to deal with, well, my first year of university, and any more drama that my family can throw at me. But it'll probably be more manageable from a 200 km distance!)

Nonnie I am so happy for you! That is amazing news!!! Congrats! 😍❤️

Ugh, sorry they immediately ruined the mood and made such stupid and unnecessary comments. I'm really glad you're celebrating anyway, because you've so earned it! 4h away, that's so good, and I really hope it means you won't have to go back every single weekend! Seeing as you're studying medicine, you can always use studying as an excuse to not go—any degree makes you busy enough to not have time to travel weekly, but medicine even more so 😅

I can't wait for you to move there and be away from your family. I hope looking for a place to live goes as smoothly as possible. Best of luck! ❤️

#ask #Dissociation anon #Depression tw #Abuse tw #Abusive parents #Abusive mother tw #Abusive brother tw #Emotional abuse tw #Guilt tripping tw

[disordered-system-culture-is]

inclusive traumagenic DID system culture is being so very fond of your endogenic system partner <3

-

#system culture is #endo safe #plural system #actuallyplural #system #plurality #actually dissociative #plural #hey anon you dropped your 👑 #win for the traumagenic did community

[subsystems]

What some anti-recovery shitheads think happened after I achieved final fusion: Welp! I had DID for basically my entire life but now that I’m fully fused I no longer know anything about DID anymore. I’m no longer a system OR a person with DID, because final fusion means I couldn't possibly still identify as either of those things obviously! Time to leave all the DID spaces I’m in because obviously I have nothing to say on DID anymore since I’ve recovered. My lived experience with DID and recovery couldn’t possibly benefit anyone else! Time to quit my DID therapy too because there’s no way I’d still need that! I am clearly never going to be affected by DID again. There’s no way I would ever still need help or support from DID spaces. In fact, PLEASE harass me if you see me in these spaces! You SHOULD be uncomfortable with people who recover in ways differently from you, and you should NEVER challenge that discomfort! Now I better get out of here so I don’t force you to attack me! ☺️🫶👋

#actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #final fusion #DID recovery #anti fusion #anti recovery #harassment tw #actuallytraumagenic #This is in response to anon hate #Syscourse

[six-white-venus]

What can you do when you hate every word that comes out of your mouth with a burning passion? When nothing you say ever feels right? When all of your words feel like lies, even though they’re not?

Because they’re not, right? …right?

#hello anon hope you like this one #now that i wrote it i'm not so sure if this was a prompt or you were asking for advice #i got the poem part of it covered #instead of advice i'll just tell you some simple stuff that works for me sometimes #talk to someone. it makes you feel awful at the beginning but d it. talk talk talk #if talking is too much reach out to any of your loved ones #and just be in their presence #if that's also not an option. take a nap. cry if you think it'd help #don't forget to eat and drink water #just in case it wasn't a prompt #i hope everything turns out well for you anon <3 #my writing #prose poetry #words #love #writeblr #prose #tw dissociation #overthinking

[itsaspectrumcomic]

i don’t know who else to ask about this, but i saw you answer a question similar ish to mine about shutdowns. i’ll have these moments where i’ll just look to the distance, still able to process what’s going on but a feeling of not being able to get back to the real world in a way. i think it’s dissociating or zoning out but the descriptions i’ve heard seem more intense and idk if im minimizing my experience or not. sorry if my punctuation is confusing.

Hi there, I'm not expert or anything but that does sound like disassociation (or depersonalisation) to me.

Here's what the NHS lists as symptoms:

feeling disconnected from yourself and the world around you

forgetting about certain time periods, events and personal information

feeling uncertain about who you are

having multiple distinct identities

feeling little or no physical pain

so feeling like you're not in the real world does classify as a symptom even if it's brief or not super intense.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this - please talk to a professional about it if you can <3

#ask #anon ask #dissociation #its a spectrum #advice

[lorcandidlucienwill]

hi, i agree with a lot of what you’ve said in your last post about acotar opinions that should be universal - but would you mind not throwing around diagnoses like that of DID with little to no context? i agree that tamlin was acting out of character to some extant, but i attribute that to sjm’s bad writing more than anything else, and i think pathologising the behaviour of a fictional character who’s already so hated (however unjustly) further contributes to the stigma. i don’t think he changed as much as the narrative’s attitude towards him. i’d be interested to know why you think he has DID because i can’t think of anything that would suggest the same. i apologise if i’m coming off as combative, but as someone who takes issue with the ease with which this fandom throws around words like abuse - or pathologies/labels in general, i can’t help but implore you to think twice about this, or at least explain why you hold this opinion, if you don’t mind.

— i’m also not trying to imply that there’s anything wrong with tamlin or anyone having DID - just that there are a lot of misconceptions about such disorders, and having failed to find evidence supporting the same, wanted to understand your assertion a little bit more. which is to say i don’t want someone to think “if tamlin is bad and tanljn has did then tamljn is bad because he has did, ergo did is bad.” which is a terribly oversimplified statement and a bit of a reach, but within this fandom? i wouldn’t be surprised.

Hello! I am not just making the diagnosis on a whim, I have actually taken psychology courses and Tamlin fulfills many of the DSM-5 symptoms. DID often occurs as a result of severe childhood trauma, and Tamlin, apart from having abusive parents, was sexually harassed as a child by Amarantha which continued long into his adulthood.

I think the age break scenario does personally suit him as a character even more than the personality break.

Because it is at incidences of high intensity. So, not all of the pain he’s suffered is going to result in a crack. But it would build up overtime

For example, leading to the first crack being at childhood meeting with Amarantha, after two years of living with an abusive parent. Which creates a “brain save” in his mind of twelve year old Tamlin. Fast forward to UTM, where I am almost certain Tamlin was raped. Considering he already had past SA from Amarantha, the trauma he experiences UTM is likely to become associated with the experiences of childhood. So the “brain save” of age twelve will then mix with the new age of twenty three / five hundred

And a new crack is formed, creating a need for a new save. Think of it like a computer auto saving. It’s the minds way of seeing a future crash and ensuring that you don’t wake up not knowing who you are. In ACOMAF we see two distinct sides of him. We see one side that is gentle and kind as he was before, and we also see a more violent, panicky side where he seems to be losing control of his magic. If you want to know more, my friend @positivelyruined has actually had DID and recovered from it and she agrees with my diagnosis!

#anon asks #tamlin #pro tamlin #dissociative identity disorder #mental health