#dissociation tw

[maryhanaae4]

the good news

#moral orel #moral orel season 1 episode 10 #bloberta puppington #orel puppington #dissociation tw #eyestrain tw

[lostcitysystem]

I feel like we don’t talk enough about medical trauma as a cause/contributor for DID/OSDD/DDs.

We spent three months in the hospital at age 5 due to complications from a major surgery and it kickstarted a lot of our dissociative symptoms since we constantly felt trapped/scared. We now also have a dedicated alter (Ghost💊 or sometimes Newt🦎) to cope when we get a common cold or something similar. Rn we have a sinus infection and Blue🌌 is seriously struggling with keeping up and fronting. It also caused us consistent trouble in staying vaccinated because of the association of needles with our trauma.

What I’m trying to say is that a lot of dissociative disorders are cause by prolonged/repetitive and serious trauma and this absolutely includes medical trauma.

If you experienced medical trauma you are valid.

If it caused many of your psychiatric disorders to date, you are valid.

If you get triggered by medical scenarios and or have specific alters to deal with medical stuff, you are valid.

If you struggle to go to the hospital, get vaccinations, get tested for diseases etc, you are valid.

#osdd 1b #osdd #osdd system #osddid #did #osdd 1a #dissociative identity disorder #dissociation #dissociative disorder #actually dissociative #dissociation mention #dissociation tw #tw dissociation #needle mention #needles #needle #tw needle #needle tw

[fossilizedalien]

There was this art prompt inspired by U.ndertale's quote going around... but since Eerie has dissiciation issues regarding their own reflection and self image, I took it in a different route...

Eerie comes from a very abusive household, which have left mental scars in them that Eerie has yet to address...

#my art #eerie somby #gore tw #eyetrauma tw #eyegore tw #abuse tw #dereality tw #dissociation tw

[whumpwillow]

Demon's Haven 16

a guy who is just an idiot

—  

masterlist

warnings: past torture, blood, whumpee thinking caretaker is new whumper, self-harm references (he's aggravating his own injuries), vague dissociation references

—  

I just wanted them to respect me.

Words he’d never dared to utter out loud before. Hell was a vicious place where weakness wasn’t tolerated, and vulnerability got you nowhere. So he’d learned to keep his thoughts to himself, and to manifest his more…envious desires in other ways.

He’d never have admitted it to himself if all this hadn’t happened. He spent long hours working in his study just to occupy his mind so that he wouldn’t have to think of such things. And yet there it was, the undeniable proof that he was weak. That he had to resort to base means in order to try and garner respect when his other siblings were capable of it just by virtue of their very existence.

Hah, virtue.

His brothers had the lesser demons looking up to them as if they were gods and all they had to do was walk into a room. Pride especially was a perfect example of this. He was like the sun—he drew attention to himself as if his presence was itself a gravitational pull. Envy hated it. He wanted it. He didn’t have the ability for that sort of thing and had to take the scraps of attention that he was owed, grasping and strangling.

He thought the other demons would be awed or at least cowed by his display of brutality in the human realm, but then Lust had gone and one-upped him without even trying. Envy, as always, faded into the background. His actions forgotten by all the people he wanted to have remembered, yet was brought up again now only to serve as a reminder of his failings.

It was such a stupid farce. All of it.

He clenched his hair in his hands, disregarding the broken fingers. He let the pain consume him. He wanted to disappear.

Throwing his hands down in frustration did nothing to stop the riotous feelings welling inside. Did nothing to stop the voice of the angel. That burning, stinging, cooing voice. It told him he was a sinner. That he should suffer, that he should be punished, that he should live his days in fear and regret and utter misery. The angel made him believe it to be true.

The angel’s voice played out in his thoughts, telling him to be afraid.

Warm hands wrapped around his thin wrists. Envy drew in a sharp intake of breath, his gaze locking onto the witch’s.

Oh, Haven.

Why had he told her who he was? She was going to hurt him now, surely. She said she wouldn’t—many times, in fact—but how could he believe that? How could she not want to?

And yet. She held his wrists in her hands but did not squeeze the bruises there. She did not yank him forward or send him tumbling to the floor. She continued to surprise him by showing familiar actions that usually preceded violence and replacing them with kindness and Envy didn’t know what to do about it.

He wanted to be free of pain. He wanted to be free of his thoughts. He wanted to pay for his sins. He wanted to rest.

He tried to think of what to say as an excuse for his actions, and what had tumbled off his lips were truer thoughts than any he had said in years. Perhaps ever. He struggled to think of anyone he’d ever told his deepest secrets to and came up blank. Such was his life, what he used to think so highly of and yet what crumbled in mere moments.

He was crying again, goddammit. His eyes stung and the back of his throat burned, the feeling distinct from that of holy water being forced down it. Sharper, deeper. Utterly humiliating.

Haven wiped a stray tear from his cheek. Envy allowed his eyes to flutter closed as he savored the touch. When had anyone ever touched him like that? Like he was something worthy of being held so gently, like he was more precious than all the gemstones in his court?

“You’re bleeding again.”

Envy blinked dumbly at her in response to the statement. Finally catching up after a moment too long, he processed the words and turned to look over his shoulder. Sure enough, the lashes from the silver whip had turned the gauze a cherry-red. He was in less pain than he’d been in since…well, the beginning of his imprisonment, so this could actually have been seen as an improvement that he hadn’t noticed.

“Ah, I see,” he said, with utmost intelligence. Clearly.

Haven settled herself on the bed next to him, more carefully than before. He knew it wasn’t because of his injuries, but because of who he was. She was afraid of him. He’d seen it in her eyes when she jumped from the bed, instinct urging her to run from him. He almost wished she had. He only wanted her to be happy, not afraid.

But he was a selfish creature, and he couldn’t stop himself from the need that raged in him, that which made him desperately not want to be left alone. It was the same desire that made him grab her wrist earlier, and what had compelled him to think he could order her to stay while he bathed even when he knew she would have preferred to be elsewhere. He just couldn’t stop himself from causing problems for her.

And know she knew who he was. What he’d done.

Worse, she was a witch. She was of the ilk that he had carelessly slaughtered for amusement and recognition, and now Envy was at the mercy of her decisions. He wondered if she would take revenge for her kind that had died at his hands, or at those of his brothers’. The thought made his chest ache something fierce, but he couldn’t tell her not to. He didn’t have the right. After everything, he was still the same awful being that he was always was and he didn’t want her to treat him any differently than she had been.

He knew he didn’t deserve her kindness. Oh, he knew. The angel had made sure that he believed every awful thing she ever said about him, but by everything he was borne of, he wanted nothing more than for Haven to remain as she was.

“I’ll need to stitch them. The wounds on your back,” she said to him.

There was no malice in her voice, nor fear. The second emotion, however, was plain on her face even as she tried to hide it.

Envy nodded listlessly. “Alright.”

He realized this going to be a long night and that he wouldn’t get to drift off so soon. If he got lucky, she’d let him sleep while she worked. He might even be able to—he’d gotten lots of practice in sleeping in uncomfortable positions while in terrible pain.

Envy nodded, the motion stilted. He braced himself for what was to come and whether or not the witch—Haven, lovely Haven, such an apropos name—would take this as her opportunity to turn on him.

She didn’t, at least not right at that moment. Instead, she pursed her lips, forming them into a mildly displeased moue. Envy winced and cursed his tendency to nod rather than reply with actual words. That must have been what had done it. She was angry with him now for not being treated with the proper respect, of course. Because he was a demon prince, fallen so far, now at the mercy of those once considered beneath him and of course, of course she would want him to demonstrate just how much their positions had changed. He was just so tired, so it was easier to opt for a nod rather than to force the sounds from his throat that was still so raw from begging, screaming, pleading, pleading—

“We should get some rest.”

Haven set her hands down on her lap and stood, then brushed off her skirts. Envy watched her. Blinked once, twice. The witch began collecting the bandages and rolls of gauze from the bed.

“What?” Envy asked, confused.

Haven paused, then looked at him. “We’re both tired, you’re not going to bleed out, and I’m sure you would appreciate not being stuck with a needle while I try to sew you up half-asleep. We can do it tomorrow.”

Envy couldn’t seem to process the information he was hearing. She was going to let him sleep? Not just that, but to let him sleep unhindered by additional pain? What was the catch?

Haven bent down to pick up a bandage roll that had fallen, but Envy slipped off the bed to get it for her. He didn’t account for the fact that he could barely use his legs, and ended up falling ever-so-gracefully to the floor like an utter disgrace. His knees hit first, cracking loudly on the wood slats, and the rest of him followed soon after, crumpling like wet paper. His chest pitched forward and he, thankfully, turned his head to the side so that his cheek hit the floor instead of cracking his chin on it, though it still smarted. The pain shot into his broken ribs had him keening, sending out a high-pitched whine as if he’d become a tea kettle. The angel had humiliated him plenty, but this really did it for him.

He at least managed to wrap his fingers uselessly around the stray bandage he’d meant to offer to Haven.

The witch herself had released her burden entirely, dropping her arms to her sides so that all the gauze she’d previously gathered now fell at her feet and rolled away, adding to the existing mess on the floor. She knelt in front of Envy and gingerly placed her hands on his upper arms, and she was saying something he couldn’t make out. The world was incessantly loud all of a sudden, ringing in his ears. Pain, his only sensation.

“H-help—” Envy croaked.

Fear rose in his throat, burned in his belly, and inflamed the space of his chest. It beat against the inside of his damaged ribcage, fighting to get free as if it were a trapped animal. Envy thought it was kind of funny, to think of it like that. To understand and sympathize with an emotion itself, because he too, was once a trapped animal.

His hands shook.

“-vy! Envy! Your Highness! Prince whatever!”

The witch called out to him. Envy struggled to take in a breath. He felt her rubbing her thumbs up and down where she held his arms, and that too, made an emotion well inside him. He couldn’t place the name of it.

“P-prince whatever,” he said, once he could take in a full breath.

His throat felt raw and scratchy.

“I didn’t know what to call you,” Haven replied, sheepishly.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and gave him a wobbly smile. Envy tried to maneuver his lips into doing the same, but he felt…odd. Disconnected from his body in a way that was not unfamiliar to his time spent in the cell with the angel, on the days where he would go someplace faraway into his mind when the pain became too much to bear. Even before, to a lesser degree, the numbness would come for him without warning. He saw it as being better than the torture, at least.

“Are you…” Haven said, but trailed off and bit her lip.

“Fine.”

Envy was not fine, had never been fine, and likely would never be fine again for as long as he lived. But he was just that—living, and that was all that likely mattered to the witch, if she even cared at all.

He regretted that last thought when he saw her face all scrunched up, appearing at once both sad and irate. Her eyes became red and misty, though no tears fell. She bunched her hands into fists at her sides and Envy thought she meant to hit him, though she only glared.

“Why did you do that?” she yelled.

Envy opened his mouth, but found he didn’t have an answer, or even any idea to what she was referring.

“I—” He remembered the bandage roll grasped loosely in his damaged fingers. “Oh.”

He held it up to Haven as far as his arm would give him the strength to, which to his dismay, wasn’t more than a few inches.

“I wanted to help,” he said.

Haven put a hand to her face and closed her eyes, then exhaled. When she looked at him again, her expression had softened. Envy noticed her unclench her fists and his shoulders sagged in relief.

“Just focus on getting better. Okay? That’s how you can help.”

—

next

(taglist in reblogs)

#he's trying his best okay? #whump #whump writing #my writing #willow writes #demon whumpee #demon whump #original work: demon's haven #dissociation tw #self harm tw

[sawbrain]

☆ ) FICTROSYMGENDER — fic - tro - sim - gender

a gender related to fictional media, tropes, symbolism, being a fictional character, feeling like you're not real / feeling like you're a fictional character, feeling like you aren't real. this gender is related to having issues with derealization and dissociation.

( >﹏☆) —  ᶻ𝘇𐰁  ˎˊ-

#💉 — @guitar picks #mogai safe #mogai flag #mogai gender #mogai coining #mogai #xenogender coining #xenogenders #xenogender #derealization #dissociation #dissociation tw #derealization tw #liom safe #liom coining #liom gender #mogai label

[meanwhile-in-iowa]

Warning for mentions of ABUSE.

I don't really know what else to add shdhfshdf. Whether we came from our brain or from somewhere else, we're all here to help each other, and we're all good enough.

Rendered in MMD. Poses by Simmerianne93, Katverse, starrysimsie, ratboysims, lite, Floramy, Natalia-Auditore, Libet, and helgatisha. Wolf converted from Skyrim by valforwing. Sonic and Sally converted by SAB64. Binary and Zim ripped and converted by us. Stage converted by Mr-Mecha-Man. Everything else ripped from The Sims 4. Effect used is ExcellentShadow and ikBokeh.

#positivelyplural #pluralgang #plural things #plural pride #multiple system #multiplicity #pro endo #endogenic safe #all systems welcome #all systems are valid #system things #system community #comic archive #tw abuse #abuse tw #dissociation tw #tw dissociation

[spielzeugkaiser]

[MASTERPOST]

They finally have the talk. Jaskier knows that he won't just spring back from this and be suddenly fine; and Geralt... he's still afraid of overstepping and doesn't feel like the can rob Jaskier of one of the only comforts he has.

#undercover at lettenhove #geraskier #depression tw #abuse tw #trauma tw #suicide tw #suicidal thoughts tw #dissociation tw #ptsd mention #especially for book!Geralt I always got some suicidal ideation vibes and I think Jaskier knows that Geralt can relate in some ways #but it's still unthinkable and unbareable for Geralt to see Jaskier suffer like that #they both need a break (and therapy) so bad

[the-amazing-spider-bi]

depersonalization/derealization, part i.

i. wiki ii. out of body by jodie howard for unreal iii. impostor syndrome by sidney gish iv. diary entry from 2021 v. normal people by sally rooney vi. disconnected part 2 by inkipiri vii. coming soon by annie dirusso viii. wiki ix. impostor syndrome by sidney gish x. normal people by sally roony xi. poem submitted to dissociart xii. art by rubyetc xiii. poem submitted to dissociart

#web weaving #depersonalisation #dissociation #actually dissociative #depersonalisation and derealisation #depersonalisation tw #dissociation tw #neuroblogging #léa talks #depersonalization #poetry #normal people #anyway. it's christmas season

[antstarion]

not my usual type of post but here goes. TW FOR DISSOCIATION AND MENTIONS OF UNREALITY

unreality jokes aren't funny and you shouldn’t make them. online or in person it doesn’t matter. stuff like “we live in a simulation” or “you made us up in your head, we’re not real” messes with the thoughts of people with dissociative disorders or other mental illnesses, esp those that cause dissociation. so either don’t make them or if you do and someone tells you to stop, just stop.

it doesn't have to even be a joke, just bringing those sorts of ideas up is a bit iffy and you could be feeding into a delusion. you could even trigger an episode. if you’re not sure if somethings okay you could either ask or just not say it. the laughs caused by what you wanted to say aren’t worth the pain you could cause.

#okay I'm done back to mk posting and blorbo tagging #dissociative disorder #dissociation tw #dpdr #actually dpdr #dissociative amnesia #dissociative identity disorder

[generalconceptofacat]

image description:

white rabbit with grey cheeks and red eyes with xes for pupils looking at the camera in dismay. the lines are shakey. they are in front of a mirror. in the mirror, is a reflection of them with no facial features.

end image description

#ms paint #mspaint #furryart #furry artwork #art #furry #furry art #sfw furry #digital art #sfw furry art #original character #artists on tumblr #dissociation tw #dissociation #webcore #2000s webcore #ms paint art #microsoft paint #drawing

[eveandtheturtles]

It happened again. One second you were walking and talking the second.... The confusion and nothingness washed over you. You couldn't remember where you were, who you were, where was up and down. No thoughts. No sounds. Nothing. Time disappeared. You were gone.

Suddenly, just as it happened your vision started coming back slowly. The colours. Green, purple. Then came the sound. A word. You knew that word. Your eyes swelled with tears and you felt so tired.

Finally, you understood. It was your name.

"Are you okay?" Donnie, (yes Donnie! That was his name!), asked. He looked worried, his hands were hovering over your shoulders not quite touching, unsure of what to do. This never happened in front of the brothers before.

You took a deep breath. Carefully touched his arms. The sudden contact with something solid helped a little in grounding you further.

"Hey, hey, talk to me," he said softly, gently helping you to a chair.

"I'm okay," you said slowly. "It just happens sometimes." You wiped your eyes with your sleeve and licked your dry lips.

"Do you need anything?" He asked, in a light squat next to you. So tall.

"Water?" You replied, a bit embarrassed to be asking for herlp.

He nodded and stood up then made his way to the sink. You watched him go, feeling a slight loss of his support.

But he returned. The glass was cold, slightly damp when you took it from him. The water refreshing. You sighed a little relieved. Almost there.

"Anything else?" He asked once you set the empty glass down.

"Can you hold me? Real tight." You requested.

And just like that two long, strong arms wrapped around you and held you against his plastron. You let yourself cry a little, let out the final bits of the fear and dread that always filled you after those episodes. You let yourself feel again, focus on his smell, the heaviness of his body, the texture of his plastron against your cheek. How his fingers felt as he brushed his hand through your hair.

"Thank you," you whispered hoarsly, feeling a little bit more like yourself again.

"Any time," he replied. "Glad I could help."

#tmnt 2016 #tmnt #bayverse turtles #tmnt 2014 #eve scribbles #dissociation tw #donnie x reader #bayverse donnie #I'm basing this on my own experience today btw #wish i could have gotten that hug lol

[battle-subway-ghost]

Update.

I've been waiting all day for it to get foggy. Hasn't been fun. Started seeing things at some point- the black ink was starting to leak from the walls, and that, weird phantom pain in my arm (even though I still have Both of Them) came back at some point. It's not fun. Things haven't felt- right or even really real all day.

Was checking out the box that... I got sent by what has to be Team Fauna, tried to read a note that was inside of it, thought that I was just panicking too much already when I first read it.

Nearly passed out and got a nosebleed. Head felt like it was splitting in two. This shit isn't normal.

I've been leaving out a bunch of the stuff that's been happening to me here because- guess what I like privacy, but its been bad. It's been bad for a while, I haven't been able to even get near Windy, I'm starting to feel less and less like myself-

and I'm not going to sit back and let this happen anymore. I know what's at least connected to it, and I know I can get some fucking answers even if I can't stop what's happening right now.

So.

It's hazy outside. I'm going thievul hunting.

Is this a bad idea? Probably. I can't stand this anymore though.

#the unraveling arc #pkmn irl #pokemon irl #rotumblr #rotomblr #pokeblogging #derealization tw #dissociation tw #nosebleed tw #hallucination tw #hallucinations tw #// really wanna cover my grounds with trigger warning tags here

[partypacking]

Jol and I have both been heavily dissociative for a few days now, but not in the "blurring" way. We can very clearly feel the lines between each other. Instead we're dissociating in the "nothing feels real" way. Yippie!

#cookie.txt #txt #i had a mild psychotic episode the other day #and the derealization has very much lingered #it's affecting all of us in a way #jol said he feels hollow and yeah i feel that #dissociation tw #tw dissociation

[deceivesthem]

@afterdeaths gets a random starter for Timothy !

there are some things better left unexplained --- some things better left unspoken. this is perhaps one of those things. Oliver didn't know where else to go. then again, he struggled to comprehend much of anything as he stands at the door of Timothy's residence, soaked to the bone. the rain is pouring hard---it's desire to wash away all of the things Oliver had done is evident. he stands there looking lost, a far away look in his eye. he doesn't know how he's gotten here, but it's the first place he thought to go. he had nowhere else to turn to---no one else to turn to. Timothy is the only thing he has in his life that is good---the sunlight in an otherwise dark and gloomy world. his fist raises to knock on the door, bruised and bloodied knuckles rasp against the frame. the rain has washed away most of the blood by now, but if you look close enough, you can still see the way it stains his skin, his clothes, his entire being. part of of it will never wash away, no matter how many times he cleans, no matter how hard he scrubs---it'll never leave. he knocks on the door again, louder, a silent plea on his lips. his eyes dart away from the frame suddenly, a noise startling him. it's only a raccoon scurrying into the safety of a trash can, yet it leaves a lasting effect on Oliver, haunted by things only he can see.

#afterdeaths #( * v. if i cannot be loved i must be feared // main. ) #well this hurts me #i told u it was gonna hurt #dissociation tw #always got that dissociation going on in our threads ig

[aveimperatcr]

@tertiusdecimusfilius continued from here.

We're home right now. We're home. Year 012 of M42. Was that right? A somewhat glossy gaze drifted to his son like he had to search his very soul to confirm if it were the truth. It should have been, yet some part of him just couldn't believe it. No. It couldn't be. If he is still able to speak now... then did he just reach the Throne? Surely he was just interred... no! A trickery of the Warp! Trickery of Tzeentch, the foul Manipulator!

Being vulnerable was a weakness, he once believed-- at least, when it comes to himself. Not to anyone else. If it had been Guilliman (now that the Emperor had properly been able to come forward despite his fractured conscience), he would have reassured him that the weakness he showed was natural and normal human experiences. But not for the Emperor. He didn't practice what he preached. Instead, he chastised himself for being so weak in front of his already stressed son.

But his mind just couldn't form a coherent thought. He heard screams, he heard talking, whispers, voices coming together constantly to try to flood his mind, mixes of sacrificed psykers and past incarnations and whispers of the Warp. He felt like he was back within the depths, constantly battling Chaos while he was still trapped within his very tomb, a living skeleton.

His grip suddenly tightened. His knuckles turned white.

" No. No. I do not need rest. " He suddenly snapped at him, then abruptly moved to stand to his feet, his grip only tightening further like he threatened to break Guilliman's very gauntlet.

" I must protect Holy Terra at all COSTS. Constantin, you must protect the throne room-- if Horus is to reach it, then he will reach the Webway! We must not allow him-- I need to reach him first... I am going to board the Vengeful Spirit and assist Sanguinius-- Malcador will power the Throne for as long as he can, and... and... "

#interred upon the throne in character / ic. #tertiusdecimusfilius #ask to tag tw #ptsd tw #flashback tw #dissociation tw

[cheesecake-the-chicken]

any advice for being therian with dissociation/depersonalization?

so i realized very recently that i'm otherkin and therian through an IRL friend, and it's my understanding that many therians have "phantom limbs". i think it's really cool and i really want to identify more with it and my animal identity but i'm really worried it'll make my dissociation worse. i have PTSD and i already struggle with perceiving my body as non-human (in a bad way), and i also happen to have non-wing related psychosomatic pain ^^'

i know it's different for everyone, but personally i do want to identify at least partially as human someday for my health. i'm just hoping to get some advice on how to go about therianthropy in a healthy way, so my DMs are open! this community seems really awesome and accepting and i really hope to participate :3

#discourse dni #ptsd tw #trauma tw #dissociation tw #depersonalization tw #therian #otherkin #alterhuman #nonhuman #otherkinity #therianthropy #birdkin #aviankin #bird therian