#divorce legal

[animentality]

#twitter #divorce lawyer #legal

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 259

You know, going back in time, they thought it would be easy. Stop the end of the world by preventing the Being from well, coming into being. It should be easy to take them out, one death to prevent an untold amount of them. What could a child do?

Well. 

They really should have remembered that with a child usually comes their parent as well. And erm, said parent doesn’t seem to appreciate their logic. In fact, they are… getting their ass kicked. By a civilian. A feral civilian who apparently is very protective of said child-who-ends-up-destroying-the-world. 

They might need assistance…

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Mom Danny #De aged Dan #De aged Ellie #They both know exactly what they’re doing #The team of time travellers technically aren’t heroes yet in the timeline #Danny is not ghost king #He does go by Danyal Dark tho for shits & giggles #yes this means several magic users who know what he is (or think they do) believe he might be Pariah’s son #well technically Danny was adopted by Clockwork who isn’t divorced from Pariah so *legally*- #Danny commit-to-the-bit (deadpan): I take after my mom- Jordan takes after his grandfather sometimes #Space Core Danny #Moon Core Ellie #Sun Core Dan #Danny would be amused if not for the fact that he’s had to move *Seven* times at this point #”Tuck. Sam. Val. Loves of my life. I need a Favour~” #Vlad is in a different dimension for his redemption arc lol

[princessstevemunson]

Famous actor Steve Harrington known wife guy. Spends decades of interviews talking about his wife Robin and all their misadventures—a lot of those stories also include their friend and next door neighbor, Corroded Coffin frontman, Eddie Munson. Then with the advent of social media a lot more people are posting about him being seen with Eddie, and are convinced that Steve and Eddie are cheating. This makes Steve have to out himself and explain that he and Robin are in a lavender marriage. (Not that it wasn’t an open secret in Hollywood especially with how close Robin and international pop sensation Chrissy Cunningham are)

#even after gay marriage is legal they still don’t get divorced #Eddie knew what he was getting into #hell he was Robin’s best man #I could develop this but who knows #aus I come up with at work #lavender married Stobin #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #buckingham if you squint #robin buckley #famous au #can’t decide if Robin is an indie film director or something else

[vampscience]

soriel as a ship becomes infinitely sweeter but also infinitely funnier if the "sans in undertale is the same sans as the one we encounter in deltarune" theory is true. like "babygirl i left my reality and everyone i knew behind only to fall in love with you again" or alternatively "babygirl i've been the deciding factor in permanently destroying your marriage once and i'll do it again"

#deltarune #undertale #utdr #sans #toriel #soriel #for legal reasons the divorce line is a joke #100 #500 #1k #the vampscience fair

[burningvelvet]

Why Mr. Rochester and Bertha Mason Couldn't Get a Legal Separation; or, the Utter Madness of Marital Laws

So I saw a Jane Eyre post discussing why Mr. Rochester and Bertha Mason couldn't get a legal marital separation. I've thought a lot about this topic, and in order to procrastinate writing the final for my upper-level Brontë class, I've decided to write this sort of convoluted analysis instead. I know many others have written about this subject, but I wanted to explore a bit further on my own.

Preliminary context about me, the Brontës, their Byronic inspiration, etc.: I've learned a lot about 19th century British marriage laws recently in my classes on old British literature, as well as by having studied Byron, whose marital separation in 1816 was a notorious part of his history & also reverberated through 19c literature. He refers to this separation in many of his works, most famously in his notorious poem "Fare Thee Well." Harriet Beecher Stowe, the most famous American female writer at the time, was friends with Lady Byron and wrote a book defending her called "Lady Byron Vindicated: A history of the Byron controversy from its beginning in 1816 to the present time" (the original callout post).

Insanity accusations did factor in to Byron's separation. Many scholars have remarked how the Queens of Byronic Criticism, the Brontë sisters, took significant inspiration from their well-worn copy of Moore's biography Life of Byron when creating their works. The Brontës would have been very familiar with marriage laws not only due to their knowledge of Byron's trainwreck of a marriage, but also due to being well-educated women at the time who knew that marriage was the most important economic decision of one's life and could very well make or break a person. As a result, marriage plays a significant role in their novels.

More relevant preliminary context about the novel: Jane Eyre actually takes place in the Georgian era, despite most adaptations and anaysis presenting is as a Victorian piece due to the novels publication date (this drives me crazy; same goes for the other Brontë books). Marriage laws did not change drastically from the time the novel is set to the time Brontë was writing the novel, but things were a bit different socially. Rochester was also married 15 years before his attempt to marry Jane. According to this very good analysis, Rochester and Bertha probably married in or around the year 1793: https://jane-eyre.guidesite.co.uk/timeline.

Now, here are the reasons why Rochester couldn't separate from Bertha:

1) Insanity wasn't grounds for divorce/separation in the Regency era.

Rochester himself says that he couldn't legally separate from her because of her insanity, which presumably rendered any of her faults null on the grounds of that marital vow "in sickness and in health." This is possibly one of his biggest reasons:

"I was rich enough now – yet poor to hideous indigence: a nature the most gross, impure, depraved I ever saw, was associated with mine, and called by the law and by society a part of me. And I could not rid myself of it by any legal procedings: for the doctors now discovered that my wife was mad — her excesses had prematurely developed the germs of insanity [..]"

2) Divorce was nearly impossible anyway.

There had only been around 300 divorces in English history at the time. Almost all of them were husbands divorcing their wives for committing adultery. Only a handful of divorces had succesfully been obtained by women, and they were only in cases where the husband had committed incestuous adultery or bigamy, and was extremely physically cruel. So technically after his bigamy attempt, Bertha may have had more grounds to obtain a divorce than Rochester would have, if only she were lucid enough to do so. However, in that scenario infertility would have helped their case, and Adèle's existence would have harmed their case if he attempted to seek a divorce before marrying Jane. Though as the novel explains, Adèle is probably not his, she definitely would have been used against him, as would the fact that he kept Bertha's existence a secret in England. But he wouldn't have tried for divorce that late in the game anyway, considering it was one of the most difficult options.

3) Female adultery was your best bet at divorce or separation, and this probably wasn't applicable to Mr. & Mrs. Rochester.

Although some scholars claim that there is subtext hinting that Bertha was adulterous (which some adaptations, like the 2006, include), you needed substantial proof of the adultery, which Rochester may not have had if it did occur. Being a proud man, he also wouldn't have wanted to be humiliated in that way by letting it be publicly known (as shame is one of his main reasons for hiding their marriage to begin with).

However, I lean toward the idea that Bertha may not have committed adultery. If she definitively did, seeing how affected Rochester was by Céline cheating on him (he shot her lover in revenge and left her with a stipend), if he ever suspected adultery on Bertha's part then I'm sure he would have been at court the very next day. I also think Rochester tries not to be too much of a hypocrite, and he is well aware that he himself is an adulterer, so he probably doesn't want to accuse Bertha of a crime he's committed and which he couldn't definitively prove she did.

Rochester does talk about hating Bertha's "vices" when they lived together, citing drinking, arguing, cruelty to servants, cursing, her being "unchaste," a "harlot," etc. - the last epithets, combined with her supposed lack of morality, and her being described as seductive, heavily imply that adultery could be added to her list of offenses. However, if she did truly cheat on him as well, I don't see why he wouldn't plainly tell this to Jane as well. I would imagine it would be his first complaint, and it would probably be considered his most justifiable reason against her by their cultural standards.

I don't see why he wouldn't jump to take Bertha's infidelity as an opportunity to defend his own actions, considering how open he is with Jane about his own adultery and being cheated on by Cèline Varens. While I can see how some of the textual evidence may strongly suggest Bertha's adultery, we cannot be fully certain, and that may be because Rochester himself is not fully certain. I cannot see why he wouldn't have sought legal advice on that account alone.

In short, if Bertha was an adulterer, there must have been no evidence to convict her.

Also: while the double-standard may seem odd and trivial to us, the reason why female adultery held more weight than male adultery has entirely to due with old patriarchal inheritance laws; i.e the risk of a wife getting extramaritally pregnant and passing the illegitimate child off as her husband's heir was considered too great of an affront. A man could have as many bastards as he wanted because he would know they were bastards and were not at risk of inheriting his stuff. One needed legitimate heirs to justify passing on one's ancestral wealth to. Essentially, marriage was a mere economic tool, and the economy was and is inherently patriarchal. I digress.

4) Rochester's lack of social & economic leverage, and risk of social ruin in general.

Only the wealthiest of the wealthy could obtain divorce or official separation, and it often led to social ruin. Rochester is rich, but he has no title and no great network of supporters due to being a younger son and having been abroad for most of the past 15 years (this was the length of his marriage to Bertha, stated by Mr. Briggs during the bigamous wedding attempt). He doesn't have as much leverage as Lord and Lady Byron had.

To continue on official separation, like Lady and Lord Byron obtained. Just like divorce, this was also a messy and scandalous legal proceeding, and required numerous good reasons to obtain, and being well-connected Lords and Ladies really helped your case. You also needed many witnesses and written statements as evidence. Bertha's family, as we see with Mason, would have been unhelpful to Rochester, and due to his shame and secrecy, no one could really testify on his behalf I'm assuming.

5) Unofficial separation would have been inconvenient, especially in regards to living situations.

Aside from divorce, which was extremely rare, extremely controversial, and only for the wealthiest members of society — there were unofficial and official separations. An unofficial separation was simply living apart from one another. I've often wondered why Rochester didn't simply move Grace Poole and Bertha somewhere else, but my main theory is that it would have been cost ineffective, and due to his family who were implied to be shitty, he probably really didn't want to live at Thornfield anyway so thought it would be convenient to place her there. Rochester says it would be dangerous to place her in his other residence of Ferndean:

"[..] though I possess an old house, Ferndean Manor, even more retired and hidden than this, where I could have lodged her safely enough, had not a scruple about the unhealthiness of the situation, in the heart of a wood, made my conscience recoil from the arrangement. Probably those damp walls would soon have eased me of her charge: but to each villain his own vice; and mine is not a tendency to indirect assassination, even of what I most hate."

6) Annulment was likely impossible given their circumstances.

Annulment means evaporating the marriage, acting as if it never existed, that it was a mistake. This was rare and only granted in unique circumstances, and I believe it was more common with aristocracy and royals. I believe you could possibly get an annulment if you could prove that the spouse was insane at the time of the wedding and you did not know. However, Bertha did not begin to truly deteriorate until after they had been living together for a bit. And while Rochester says that he did not know her mother was in an asylum until after the wedding, having an insane mother doesn't mean that you are insane, which Bertha clearly wasn't at that point, at least not in a way that people would have publicly acknowledged, since Rochester says she attended parties and her hand was highly sought after.

Generally, the longer a marriage had gone on, the harder it was to prove why it could not go on. Rochester says that he and Bertha "lived together" for "four years" in Jamaica while her condition deteriorated and he tried to make things work. And again, after the wedding he found out her mother was "mad, and shut up in a lunatic asylum." So we have more reasons for Rochester's difficulty: the fear of Bertha going to an asylum while she was still mostly lucid in those first four years, combined with the fact that they openly lived together and certainly must have consummated their marriage (things which would further prevent annulment), and were certainly publicly recognized as a couple in Spanish Town society, and her family wanting the marriage to continue so she could have children of "good race" i.e. to produce heirs.

Here's an important passage that to me suggests that Rochester and Bertha not only had an initial flirtation but likely consummated their marriage, likely had a passionate sexual relationship for some time, and likely implies his feelings for her were more complex than we'd initially assume, making annulment not so clear-cut of an option to him at the time:

"My father said nothing about her money; but he told me Miss Mason was the boast of Spanish Town for her beauty: and this was no lie. I found her a fine woman, in the style of Blanche Ingram; tall, dark, and majestic. Her family wished to secure me because I was of a good race; and so did she. They showed her to me in parties, splendidly dressed. I seldom saw her alone, and had very little private conversation with her. She flattered me, and lavishly displayed for my pleasure her charms and accomplishments. All the men in her circle seemed to admire her and envy me. I was dazzled, stimulated: my senses were excited; and being ignorant, raw, and inexperienced, I thought I loved her. There is no folly so besotted that the idiotic rivalries of society, the prurience, the rashness, the blindness of youth, will not hurry a man to its commission. Her relatives encouraged me; competitors piqued me; she allured me: a marriage was achieved almost before I knew where I was. Oh, I have no respect for myself when I think of that act! — an agony of inward contempt masters me. I never loved, I never esteemed, I did not even know her."

7) Spousal abandonment wasn't possible, and on some level he honored his legal and financial obligations to her and the Mason family.

Bertha's family likely refused to house her for legal and personal reasons, and spousal abandonment was forbidden due to the husband's financial responsibility as well as the law of coverture (a wife became her husband's full legal responsibility; some say "property"). Like we see in Anne's Tenant of Wildfell Hall, if a woman ran away from their spouse they would have to live in obscurity and be at risk of being sussed out. You couldn't just abandon your partner. Still, people did, because it was the easiest route to take.

But the more upper-class you were, and the more financial entanglements you had, the more inconvenient this was. We know that Rochester and his family became enmeshed with the Mason family, and he got a lot of money from Bertha, so her father likely would have taken him to court. At any rate, Rochester was legally bound to bring Bertha with him to England when he left Jamaica. If he attempted to abandon her in Jamaica, the backlash it would have brought would have brought him social ruin and foiled his chances at getting away with any bigamy attempts.

All this brings us to a further notice of Bertha's family situation. Based on Charlotte Brontë's positive comments about Rochester's character (https://www.tumblr.com/burningvelvet/731403104856195072/in-a-letter-to-w-s-williams-14-august-1848) I see no reason to suspect him, like many feminist critics do, of being an unreliable narrator or of lying about Bertha Mason's history. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and in mine, that is simply not the novel Charlotte wrote. By her own admission, she wanted his narrative to be a path to further goodness.

It makes no narrative sense for our explanation of his and Bertha's history to be full of lies when he's trying to make ammends with Jane, who never suspects him of lying during his admission, but who does critique him and figure he'd tire of her like she was one of his many mistresses. Jane wonders if Rochester would lock her in an attic too, which he refutes on the basis that he loves her more than he loved Bertha when she was sane, and so he would care for Jane himself. Jane also tells him that it's not Bertha's fault that she's mad. So in my opinion, if Charlotte wanted us to believe Rochester was lying about his and Bertha's history to make himself look better or Bertha look worse, I don't see why she would have been vague about it, and I don't see why Jane wouldn't have called it out like she does everything else. I don't think Rochester is really a villain who locked his harmless wife in the attic for giggles; I think he weighed most of his options and found, like most people back then and even today, that keeping his problems locked up and ignored was the best solution.

Now, on with the point. I have often wondered why Rochester didn't simply "unofficially separate" from Bertha by leaving her with her family when he left. Why did he take her to England? Why didn't he just run away? It wasn't because he was an evil villain who wanted to keep her as a trophy. It's because 1) I don't think her father would have let him, as he was so quick to marry her off, 2) he felt obligated to her, and 3) it was criminal for men to abandon their wives, and it would have attracted publicity, which is what Rochester was avoiding by taking Bertha to England and sheltering her in secrecy.

Many claim that Rochester's adultery is a betrayal of his wife; and while religiously, narratively, socially, we can accept this statement, it was not legally a crime. While Rochester does honor his financial and legal obligations to his wife and her family, he does not take the religious part of the vows into account, and that's why he's cosmically punished and only rewarded after he repents, as he explains toward the end of the novel.

Another interesting point is that when Rochester recounts his decision to move back to England, he tells us that Bertha had already been declared insane in Jamaica and that she was already confined there (presumably around the 4 year anniversary before they left), meaning her father probably knew about confinement:

"One night I had been awakened by her yells (since the medical men had pronounced her mad, she had of course been shut up) — it was a fiery West Indian night; [..]"

Locking away "insane" people was standard procedure then, and if this was done with Bertha's father's knowledge, considering he locked his own wife away in an asylum, then this further absolves Rochester of a lot of the blame in my opinion. It more than likely wasn't his idea to lock her away, but the advice of "the medical men" and presumably her father's consultation as well.

8) Even if he divorced or separated from her, he couldn't remarry. Attempting these, or getting caught attempting abandonment, would have brought negative publicity that would have likely prevented the success of any future bigamy attempts. To him, secrecy and bigamy seemed better chances at securing happiness than the social ruin and likely failure the other options would have brought him.

Aside from Rochester's own explanation (which I supplied in #2 re: the separation veto inherent to Bertha's insanity), the other biggest reason as to why Rochester wouldn't seek a separation/divorce even if she hadn't been declared insane and even if he were willing to accuse her of adultery truthfully or not, is due to the fact that one could not legally remarry upon separation or divorce (unless you were Henry VIII and got God's permission lol). Rochester's impossible dream is that he wants to be married to someone he really loves, and if secrecy and bigamy are his only options then he is willing to succumb; this is shown in numerous passages:

"[..] I could reform — I have strength yet for that — if— but where is the use of thinking of it, hampered, burdened, cursed as I am? Besides, since happiness is irrevocably denied me, I have a right to get pleasure out of life: and I will get it, cost what it may."

"I will keep my word: I will break obstacles to happiness, to goodness — yes, goodness; I wish to be a better man than I have been; than I am — as Job's leviathan broke the spear, the dart, and the habergeon, hinderances which others count as iron and brass, I will esteem but straw and rotten wood."

"Is there not love in my heart, and constancy in my resolves? It will expiate at God's tribunal. I know my Maker sanctions what I do. For the world's judgment — I wash my hands thereof. For man's opinion — I defy it."

Closing remarks on the above's validity: I can't cite all my sources because a lot of this stuff I learned from lectures via my professor who specializes in 19th century English literature & history. But here's some recently published information from a historian, taken from "Inside the World of Bridgerton: True Stories of Regency High Society" by Catherine Curzon (2023):

"And if you were one of the newly-weds, you really did hope things would work out, because in the Regency till death do us part wasn't just an expression. As the Prince Regent himself had learned when he separated from his wife within eighteen months of their marriage, obtaining a divorce in Regency England was no easy matter. He never achieved it, and for those who did the stakes could be high and the cost ruinous in every sense."

"Until the passing of the Matrimonial Causes Act of 1857, which legalized divorce in the civil courts, it was governed by the ecclesiastical courts, and the Church didn't end a marriage without very, very good reason. Even these divorces didn't allow a couple to remarry, though, and they were more akin to what we would today call a legal separation, with no shared legal or financial responsibilities going forward. It was freedom, but only to a point."

"The only way to obtain a complete dissolution that allowed for remarriage was to secure a parliamentary divorce, and these were notoriously difficult to obtain. They began with a criminal conversation case, because they relied on adultery by one of the parties to make them even a slight possibility. If a woman committed crim. con., her life in polite society was over."

#jane eyre #lord byron #charlotte brontë #charlotte bronte #byronicism #marriage #divorce #marriage laws #english history #english legal history #mr. rochester #bertha mason #mr rochester #analysis #literature #english literature #history #Inside the World of Bridgerton: True Stories of Regency High Society #regency era #georgian era #19th century #1800s #victorian #Catherine Curzon #interesting #essays #the bronte sisters #the brontes

[findafight]

QPR stobin in their forties, married since, like, '87, finding out about qpr language. They see someone mention it or just stuble upon it on the internet and go oh!! That's us! That's what we have! :) Because they're still involved with lgbtq activism, and are like oh!! These young people have words for what we are isn't that amazing!

I think Robin would find out that sometimes people call their queerplatonic partner "zucchinis" absolutely hilarious and never refer to Steve as anything else. He's her zucchini. Her sweet yam. Her pumpkin pie. Steve giggles at it and says "because we're fruity!"

They don't get divorced to get married to their romantic partners because that's a hassle and also they don't want to. What would happen to the children. To the cats. To the fish the cats long to eat that they are expressly forbidden from eating because their mother and father are cruel and deserve jail for a thousand years. They are each other's PERSON, no romantic relationship will change that. This causes some stir when it's revealed Steve is Eddie's partner and also Steve has a wife. Eddie Munson, beloved queer metalhead/rocker is a homewrecker?? They try to explain! They do!

Steve is like 'okay well we were best friends and soulmates and very queer in the 80's it was just easier to get married especially seeing as I wanted my parents to have nothing to do with anything incase I died, so no brainer. We already lived together, it didn't really change anything except we were able to adopt!" "But don't you want to marry someone you actually love?" "I love Robin more than anything else besides our children??" "Not...what about Eddie?" "Yeah I love him he's my partner. But I don't want to marry him I'm already married to Robin." "But you aren't in love with her" "not romantically no. We're what the kids call 'zucchinis'" "I'm sorry what" "zucchinis! It's what some people call a queerplatonic partner! Like, a life partner that isn't romantic but is still the most important person! Rob thinks it's a very funny name and I gotta say, with the unconventional nature of this type of relationship I agree it fits."

Steve gets on twitter and is like "sorry to everyone who doesn't understand platonically spending your whole life with someone but I'm different" and then logs tf off and lets people freak the hell out in the replies.

And Eddie is like yes my partner is married. No he's not cheating. Yes we were together when he got married. No I'm not jealous. Yes I knew he was getting married I know you know this I was the best man. No he's not getting a divorce to marry me now same sex marriage is legal. Yes I'm fine with it. No it's not a problem. Yes I understand ya'll don't get it. No I don't actually care you don't get it. Yes Robin and Steve are the most important person in each other's lives. No I'm not hurt by that they were like that when I met them. Yes I love him. No I'm not worried they're actually in a secret heterosexual relationship that's ridiculous and stupid this interview is over.

#qpr stobin #robin buckley #platonic stobin #steddie #give me unconventional relationship with rockerstar eddie!!! give me qpr stobin!!!! #i get that people want romantic ships to get married but i think that eddie wouldn't really want to get married #and also they were young (queer) adults in the 80's thats prime time for anitconformist queerness #also also if stobin were to get lavender married i doubt they'd get divorced bc they love each other too much #someone might being it up after same-sex marriage is legalized and they'd try to talk about it but get too upset because itd be too #much like a breakup. they cannot be separated they'll be too sad (not to mention how legally and financially their lives are entwined) #finda's rambles #finda writes stuff #this post probably makes no sense but whwtever im emo about qpr stobin #stobin #platonic with a capital p #steve and robin

[lanterne]

also not to be mean to olympe de gouges but the convention making divorce legal was more of a gain for women than putting rich women in power as she wanted

#ok this is probably badly worded I can respect her and the idea of female suffrage she had contributions and all but like #you want to use her as an example of why the revolutionaries weren't revolutionaries because they guillotined her #for being oh so feminist which wasn't the reason anyway #like they had some actual exist-ass moments like that Amar speech about the closing the republican women societies #which was more about public order than feminism in the end he just decided to be a pos about it #but also they literally legalized divorce #didn't you do that in the 60s like almost 2 centuries later and THATS NOT REVOLUTIONARY APPARENTLY DJDHKSHDJFLAJDJFJ

[911onabc]

fic where buck is eddie's divorce lawyer and eddie hates lawyers on principle and also that he's getting divorced. meanwhile buck is the most optimistic divorce lawyer of all time

#sorry i'm back at work my posts are about legal stuff now sigh #buddie #divorce lawyer buck au #writing tag

[spicy-apple-pie]

I- listen I really can't defend myself I saw an edit of martha wayne joker, blacked out for the sheer girlboss of it all, and woke up with this on my screen.

#batman #dc comics #batman comics #dc #martha wayne #flashpoint joker #martha wayne joker #joker #I ate with this #ngl #I love her #girlboss #definition of girlboss gaslight gatekeep #are her and thomas legally divorced? #bruce I'm going to fuck your mom #joker martha wayne #comics #art #clip studio paint #digital art #digital illustration

[alternis]

dc should bring back Jack AND Janet Drake, and let tim finally become a child of divorce

#they have to be legally resurrected before they can divorce which adds months onto the process #tim drake #less comic book orphans more comic book children of divorced parents

[livwritesstuff]

Angsty question- feel free to ignore if you want.

Historically, dads yelling has always been a very not-good sound. Especially to girls.

What happened the first time Steve or Eddie (or both) yelled? Not even at the girls; it could’ve been a heated argument they were having.

How old were the girls? What did they do? How did Steve and Eddie feel? What did they do?

oooh okay i definitely took my time mulling over this one bc i wanna make sure i’m getting my wording right

(and reading this back i’m realizing i kind of don’t really answer your actual question hope that’s okay lol)

I think a really important facet of this is that (in this ‘verse) Steve is a licensed and practicing trauma counselor. Not only does he know how harmful (and counter-productive) yelling can be, he also knows all sorts of other methods for communication that are just better.

It’s not that the girls don’t ever piss him off or do stupid shit and get in trouble – he just knows way more effective ways to get them to realize oh shit, I fucked up than by yelling at them.

(I think if anything, he could be a stress-yeller, but by the time he and Eddie start fostering kids, he’s been through so much shit that he doesn’t really ever hit that stress threshold anymore).

And then, I think with Eddie, he’s still as dramatic as ever even in middle-aged adulthood, and I think he gets loud about things pretty much regardless of the emotion behind it, so the girls aren’t super phased by it if/when he does get loud from a place of anger or frustration. I also feel like Eddie tends to defer to Steve when it comes to the heavier parts of parenthood, precisely because he knows that Steve is coming at it from a place of clinical expertise in a way that he himself isn’t. Steve isn’t a yeller, so neither is Eddie. Maybe if Steve had been more inclined to yell, Eddie would be too.

Same thing applies with Steve and Eddie’s communication with each other – they don’t really get into screaming matches over shit, but when they do argue or have disagreements or conflict or whatever, they get mean, and I think this is where there could be some problems. 

Like, they can throw some serious barbs at each other when they want to (and they’ve known each other for a long time so they’ve got plenty of ammo), and when the girls are little, it’s easy to forget in the heat of the moment that they actually can understand what their dads are saying.

Hence why, a few hours after an argument (about nothing – they were just both in pissy moods at the same time, and with Hazel not even five months old yet they’re not really getting much sleep which doesn’t help things at all), Steve finds three-year-old Robbie crying in her room, and when he asks her what’s wrong, she whimpers, “Moe said you and Daddy are gonna get a divorce.”

And, fuck, Moe is only six, and Steve didn’t know that she even knew what divorce was (though it’s possible he and Eddie had gossiped a little too close to the sun about one of their neighbors’ divorce earlier that same week, so maybe that one's on them), and the notion that her brain had been able to make that connection from the things she'd heard earlier had Steve feeling like the worst guy on the planet.

Then, when they sat down with the older two girls to make sure they knew that everything was fine and no one was getting divorced, it only got worse because Moe started repeating back to them the shitty things they had said to each other, and there’s a special kind of shame in hearing word-for-word the vitriol he’d directed at Eddie – who he loves; no argument could ever change that – coming out of his kindergartener’s mouth.

Yeah, so anyways, I don’t really think yelling would necessarily be an issue with them, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some real flaws in their communication that stick with the girls.

#eddie: do you think they’d even let us get divorced #eddie: they only just made gay marriage legal – do you think they’d even have the protocol in place for gay divorce #steve: please don’t joke about that right now. read the damn room for once. #liv’s steddie dads verse #liv says stuff

[pactw]

so sunny is an 8th impression egg, or you could say, most people find them annoying at first--

#qsmp tubbo #qsmp sunny #every time i look at tubbo he has still not gotten legally divorced

[andi-o-geyser]

on my anti dr. jacob agenda sooo hard you don't even know. like the level of just how unprofessional, unethical, and fucking infuriating his choices are is putting me into so much of a rage i can no longer maintain my danny rojas level of live laugh love in this economy. bastard. bastard man. my worst enemy. im calling the kansas college of registered psychotherapy and regulatory board of ethics on him don't test me

#i have so much beef with him you don't fucking get it #everything about the situation should have his licence for practice instantly revoked #full stop #getting with a patient after treating both her and her husband in couples counselling and then seeing her individually #to coach her through her DIVORCE and then starting to date her??? #its like he fucking wants to lose his liscence #its such a stupid fucking thing to do thats so morally reprehensible for him as a professional i just- #aksjhfkjJHKHKJKJKHLJKHFHDJSHKLHJKDSFHJRRRRRRRRR #like TECHNICALLY you can have relations with patients #TECHNICALLY #but theres a nearly decade long time minimum that has to elapse before thats like legal for the regulatory board??? #its something like 7 years (at least where i live) #and thats not 7 years since you've met them #that's 7 years AFTER you stopped seeing them as a patient #just. fucking baffling #because thats a massively inappropriate relationship!!! its not allowed for a fucking reason!!! #you are not meant to be your therapist's friend and you are CERTAINLY not meant to fucking DATE THEM lijlasfhKJEKKKEE???? #i'm fine. im good #everything is fine and i didnt just start the episode and break into a massive rant in the tags. we're fine :) #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso season 3 #andis thought geyser

[pollyna]

The day Sarah and Tom finalise their divorce is sunny outside and they're both laughing. After she takes him and offers him pancake and share in on a single plate. Sarah's without an insane amount, to Tom's say, of syrupe on and Tom's with fruit all around, always the health freak Tommy!, and they drink enough mimosa to have to call Slider to pick them up. Just to end offering Ron a drink, or maybe three, before they all have to hail a cab because nobody remembers what way they came from. It's not even eleven in the morning but the day is the first page of their new life and they wouldn't have celebrate it in any other way.

(During they're time being married they never really celebrate they anniversary because they were so many other dates more important than that. And now, ten years later, they are sitting around a diner table, the same place where they shared pancake and too many mimosa, because they're both thankful for each other. Then it was just the two of them, and Slider, and now the table is so full they had to add chairs.

When the waitress asks what they're celebrating Slider starts pointing fingers: "A lot" he answers before explaining "ten years since their divorce" pointing at Sarah and Tom, "a long awaited legal marriage" pointing at Tom and Pete, "a legal partnership and the adoption of the kids" continue pointing at Sarah and Nadia "and the return of the prodigal son from deployment" he finished pointing to a guy that's coming in in that exact moment.

Everybody's there, nothing could be more perfect.)

#tom iceman kazansky #aroace sarah kazansky #gay tom kazansky #lavander marriage #divorce #ron slider kerner #he is the best of friends #pete maverick mitchell #icemav #OCs (Nadia and the kids) #legal partnership and adoption #bradley rooster bradshaw (mentioned) #he comes back and calls ice dad djhdhd #top gun

[bringthekaos]

You know what would funny? Viktor and Jayce did got married. But never *officially* divorced. Therefore causing a bunch of legal troubles for Jayce in Piltover. Want to sell your house or move? Huh you need your spouse signature. Shares bank accounts? The ownership of hextech, the shares, any royalties that come from the hexgates ? All lf that requires co-signatures

Alternatively, Jayce uses his influence to sweep it unwer the rug.... until the machine herald sends his most terrible weapon yet: a well paid lawyer

+follow up

Oh my god… OH MY GOD… oh my godddddd anon, your brain. This is so fucking funny I am WHEEZING.

Can you imagine the absolute ball-shriveling power of Renata Glasc’s legal team??? Like… this woman could shoot someone while standing in the council chamber, and her team would have her outta there by lunch. And she would definitely instruct them to be petty as fuck, making Jayce’s life a complete nightmare.

Like… imagine he owes Viktor a settlement for his portion of the Hextech profits, and they deliver Jayce a demand letter for payment for every fucking dollar. And Renata has them space it out, so they’re delivering one every hour on the hour for like… MONTHS. And they even deliver them to his apartment in the middle of the night, making sure to wake him up every time. GOD he would go insane. He’d probably march down to Emberflit and throw bags of money at Viktor while sobbing “I get the message, just please make them stop.”

But then comes the twist, when Jayce is so fed up that he finally decides to actually file for the divorce, and it’s like a Hallmark movie—they both go to sign, and neither of them can do it. And Jayce is furious that he can’t do it—this man has made my life a living hell for months, years even, just sign it, sign it! But he can’t do it, and neither can Viktor.

So then harassment-by-proxy just becomes a love language.

#arcane #jayvik #jayvik divorce era #jayce talis #arcane Jayce #machine herald viktor #Renata Glasc #Renata Glasc’s legal team motivated by the 3 p’s #pussy profit and preservation #asks #ace answers

[fluctuating-fanby]

"Why did Cecil mention Carlos's hair greying as if it hasn't been grey since the moment we met him??"

Possible Explanation: Finknor straight-up forgot somehow, or otherwise ignored it for the sake of the bit

Reasonable Explanation: Cecil is being sarcastic/passive-aggressive, this is just a character moment to show that he's still pissed at Carlos

Unhinged Explanation: THE SCIENTISTS MESSING WITH PORTALS FUCKED UP THE TIMELINE AGAIN, AND IT'S AFFECTING CARLOS'S HAIR ALA THE TELLY ENDING OF EP 133 ARE YOU SURE

#That last one is maybe probably definitely not true but can you imagine if that was actually foreshadowing #Next thing we know Cecil's mentioning he and Carlos aren't married yet again #And it'll be a 50/50 chance whether they got divorced or it's timeline/AU shenanigans yet again #FOR LEGAL REASONS THAT IS A JOKE I DON'T WANT CECILOS SPLITTING UP ANY MORE THAN YOU DO #welcome to night vale #wtnv #vince rambles #wtnv spoilers #carlos the scientist #cecil palmer #wtnv 234