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#dnd shenanigans

Isla: Where’s Swin?

Mort: Doing stuff.

I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Lamlis?

Trying to stop Swin from doing the stuff.

And Sam?

Trying to stop Lamlis from stopping Swin from doing the stuff.

I see. And what are you doing here, Mort?

I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Sam from stopping Lamlis from stopping Swin from doing the stuff.

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So, my D&D character recently acquired the Hand of Vecna. The other characters know this, but my group isn’t really up on canon lore (our DM homebrews/modifies a lot), so none of them have figured out that my character had to cut off her own hand to use it?

- The first time the rest of the party saw my character after she did it, I noted that she was wearing gloves, which were never part of how I described her before. They didn’t question it.

- Not too long after that, a couple of them saw her punch a guy in the head with her left hand and ice spread around the point of impact. Were momentarily confused but also didn’t really question it.

- They’re surprised that she now has a +5 instead of +1 to Strength, but don’t much seem to care why.

- We had to go through magical airport security, more or less, and declare all our magic items. The other players have been going in circles for three weeks now wondering how my character snuck the Hand through without turning it in. 

- One fellow player who I hang out with outside of the game keeps joking about my character having replaced her hand with the Hand, but very obviously doesn’t believe it even a little bit.

- Even if you don’t know D&D lore, is it that big of a leap to think that an extremely cursed magic hand might work like this? Is it really?

(I can’t wait for the right moment for the reveal and the shock/horror/”how did we not see this coming”!)

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Me: here’s Thray a vampire antiques dealer with a very deep and profound backstory, he’s directly linked with the underground organisation you’ve vaguely allied yourselves will, I’ve developed 20 different sub-plots that he’ll go through concurrently to your development as a party

My players: he’s pretty cool I guess

Me: this is Sofa, he’s a mimic who forgets he is adhesive and gets his tongues stuck to stuff constantly, he spits up whole live animals when he’s excited to show he likes you

My players: 😍 best NPC of the game!!!!

Me: you’re right and correct but I’m not happy that that’s true

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There’s still a pandemic out there y’all.

  • Wash hands
  • Social distance
  • Avoid crowds and large gatherings
  • Sanitize surfaces
  • Protect the vulnerable
  • Wear a mask

Remember party members, it’s a team effort! Don’t split the party and let’s work together!

We can do this!

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Shaia: I have a younger brother.

Faith: Okay?

You also have a younger brother.


And they are both single.

So wha- Wait, I actually like the direction this conversation is going in.

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*The party talking about their parental situations*

Koeia: …-For me it was more like the whole druidic conclave helped raise me.
Hilt: Oh, like a cult!
Koeia: It isn’t a cult it’s just– *stops* Oh my god, am I in a cult?!

Later in the conversation-

Hilt: Could your cult kill my father?
Koeia: No?! I don’t see why they would!

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We kick off Ex Draconis, Pt. II with some Session 0.5 SHOUTOUTS!

Lufian: For beating the shit out of that door! That stonework deserved it!!

Yevelda: For getting a triple kill with one use of Fire Breath! Fuck Archie!!

Rek’Sai: For doing Bakasura proud and being a big ‘ole ball of chaos! Can’t wait to see what other hijinks he gets into!!

Aramil: For using his spells to support his allies! Soften the targets up so the others can smash them down!!

Great character plot hooks, great party plot hook, awesome start to a campaign! Can’t fucken wait for next week!!

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