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lswritingdesk · 4 years

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Chlorophyll

Captain Kirk was leading his away team out of the Tonnang Research Facility on Chikkra when shots began to come out of nowhere. He whirled around in confusion, hand on his phaser, as did several of the security officers. Five figures were running towards them from the main doors that they had just come through, dodging the shots coming from the guard towers at the gates. A hand shot out from one of the figures and grabbed him roughly by the arm, spinning him back round.

“Run,” the person said, and Kirk was being propelled forward towards the gates, which were beginning to close. Others of his team were similarly grabbed by the figures in white, and suddenly the whole party was running pell-mell towards the gates. They skittered through, still avoiding shots from the guard towers, just as the gates shut behind them. Miraculously, everyone had gotten through, but still the figures urged them to keep running. There were shouts from the research facility behind them, and more people poured out in pursuit.

“Kirk to Enterprise, 10, er, 15 to beam out?” Kirk said into his communicator, changing the number at the last second. Hopefully Scotty would be able to grab them all, and hopefully this person gripping him rather painfully by the forearm would have a very, very good explanation for their actions.

The whole group landed forcefully upon the beaming platform as the result of their fleeing the guards that had suddenly poured out of the facility. Kirk finally had a chance to look at the person who had grabbed him and forced him to start running. She collapsed on the platform, eyes glassy as she looked around, counting silently with her mouth open. He saw her count to five, and she released her grip on him at last.

“I beg of you to protect us,” she said, looking up at him with fear in her eyes. She and Captain Kirk alike looked at the red shirt who rushed in and said that someone was hailing them from the surface. Kirk hauled the young woman to her feet.

“You are coming with me. Security, get the rest of these people to medbay.”

The head of the Chikkran research facility that they had just left was on screen when Kirk marched onto the bridge, and he was irate. The moment he saw Kirk, he began to shout.

“You have kidnapped valued workers from our facility! This will not be tolerated!” Kirk side-eyed the young woman, who had pulled the white cap from her hair and was now twisting it in her hands. She was shaking her head furiously, at the screen or at him, he wasn’t sure. “Return the five who you have now, and this will all go away. Otherwise, we will take this as an act of war.”

“Uhura, put him on mute.” Kirk turned to the young woman.

“You better have a really good explanation for this, young lady.”

“We are not workers. We are property,” she said. She was standing on one foot, pulling off a white slipper and a sock. She showed Kirk the bottom of her foot. Property of Tonnang Research Facility. 04064-29456. “My name is Aya. I was sold to the facility when I was six years old for medical research. The others came through similar circumstances. None of us are there willingly.” Kirk frowned.

“We were not informed of any medical research being performed on actual Chikkrans.” Aya scoffed at him coldly.

“As if they’d show outsiders the full facility. Your medbay can confirm that I was experimented on. I am asking for protection.” Kirk made up his mind quickly. He would have to trust the word of this Aya- and the reactions of the Chikkrans when she and the others fled the facility.

“Uhura, unmute the facility director.”

“Director, I will not be returning your...people to you. They have asked for asylum, and I am providing it based on disturbing reports that they have given me.” The director sputtered.

“Consider yourself at war with the Chikkran people, Captain.”

“Mr. Sulu, warp us out of here before they decide to direct any of their planetary defences at us, please.

“Aye, aye, sir.” Kirk turned back to Aya, who had replaced her shoe and her now-wrinkled cap.

“Let’s get you to medbay and confirm this story of yours,” he said, sighing.

Medbay was in chaos when they got there. Dr. McCoy was hurried between biobeds containing Chikkrans, his eyes wide. Aya looked thoroughly nonplussed, but Kirk was concerned. McCoy stopped running about when Kirk walked in.

“Jim, you’re never gonna believe this!”

“Oh, something tells me I will. Aya here has been telling me that she and her friends were the victims of medical research at that facility.” McCoy stopped short and looked Aya over, as if he had x-ray vision that could tell him what kind of experiments had been performed on her.

“This little guy,” he said, pointing at biobed 1, “has implants in his brain and enough scars on his head to make you sick. He said they have been messing with his brain since he was 8 and that he’s been at the facility for at least ten years.”

Aya shrugged at this. “I was six when my family sold my sister and I to the facility. I think I’m about 23 or 24? I don’t know. There’s a big market for children in the biomedical research facilities. They pay families with extra children well. My sister and I were two of seven children, and our parents wanted sons.”

“That’s barbaric,” Kirk said.

“That’s life on Chikkra,” one of the others responded, almost nonchalantly. “Bet they didn’t tell you that in your tour.”

“Jim, each one of these people has been experimented on heavily. You did a good thing getting them out of there.”

“For each one of us, there are a thousand more in the various research facilities,” Aya said dully. Dr. McCoy eyed her.

“So…”

“So what’s up with me?” she asked, looking him in the eye. “My body produces chlorophyll. I’m photosynthetic. Which, umm, leads me to my next question- if you have an on-ship garden, I’ll probably need to sleep there tonight. And every night until you figure out what to do with us.” Kirk and McCoy stared at her. “I need a grow light to photosynthesise? Artificial light does nothing for me. The four of us in the facility who had the same...condition...used to sleep under giant grow lamps, for lack of a better word.”

“I’ll have someone from Engineering set up proper accommodations. Dr. McCoy will want to check you over, first, though. And yes, there is the matter of what we’re going to do with you. You have requested asylum, which we will honour, but we aren’t just going to drop you off at the nearest starbase, not with the chance that the Chikkrans might try to come back and get you.”

“They won’t come for us,” Aya said. “We were all slated for disposal by the end of the month.”

“I’m sorry, disposal?” Kirk asked.

“We had reached the end of our usefulness. Each of our experiments had come to an end. All of the other chlorophylls had already been disposed of. I was the last one. They probably would have studied our bodies, but they won’t send out a ship to come collect us just for that. We’re not that valuable to them.”

McCoy muttered under his breath, and for once, Jim was shocked into silence.

“And people just let this happen on your planet?” McCoy asked angrily. “They just sell their children to these labs, knowing that they’re going to be experimented on and eventually killed to be studied?”

“It is a blessing to be euthanised first and not vivisected,” Ava said quietly. “And as I said, the research facilities pay top dollar, so yes, it is accepted.”

“And there are no laws against it?”

“Not really. Maybe there used to be, but the facilities are too powerful, and the innovations they come out with are too lucrative and too cutting edge to shut them down, not that anyone is willing to try.”

“I’d like to try,” the boy with the implants said.

“As would I,” another one said.

Aya sighed. “Maybe in time our stories can make it out to your- what is it called? Federation? And maybe we can make change. But right now I am just thankful that you saved our lives.” She suddenly looked very tired, and McCoy ordered her into a biobed.

“Until we can get your lamp set up,” he promised. Aya gave him a weak smile. He looked around at the five Chikkrans. “I am not going to hurt any of you. Where I’m from, doctors take an oath to heal, not harm.”

“We will do what we can to set you up with the resources to thrive from here on out,” Kirk added. “Like I said, we’re not just going to abandon you on the next starbase.”

#star trek #star trek tos #star trek aos #jim kirk #james t kirk #james kirk #captain kirk #leonard mccoy #leonard bones mccoy #oc #star trek fanfic #star trek headcanon

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jeanandthedreamofhorses · 5 years

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The Realm of Pure Freedom and the Intentions of the Path Girl

Okay, this is epic.

Seriously though, this scene was so beautifully surreal. The imagery of a strange girl reconstructing a body from sand in an isolated plane beneath a starry midnight sky strikes one with a real sense of spiritual and cosmic awe. But who is the girl?

Well, as many of you have guessed, she’s probably the original Ymir. Which leads to the next question: how is she here?

Zeke appears within the transcendental realm of the Paths which connect all Eldians and through which memories and the organic matter that makes up the Titans is transferred. He is taken to this plane as he dies because his Titan is not inherited, and so his Titan would, under normal circumstances, be picked up by the Path and transferred to a random Eldian baby.

The consciousness of Ymir seems to continue to exist on this plane. The same can probably be said of all Shifters, as their memories and oftentimes their identities and ways of thinking are sent down via the Paths when their successor inherits their Titan, e.g. the ideology of the First King, and Bertholdt’s crush on Annie. So while Ymir’s Curse may cause their mortal bodies to expire more quickly, they continue to exist on an immortal, transcendent plane.

The later Ymir’s monologue is quite literal here. She bears witness to the realm of the Paths after eating Marcel. This realm expands back thousands of years in time, and into the future as well, judging by Kruger’s remarks about Armin and Mikasa.

It is literally a realm of ‘eternity’. And it is a realm of pure, abstract freedom, of a kind that has proven so immensely difficult to achieve in the material realm. Although the later Ymir died, she continues to be free in this eternal realm, her mind now flowing through Porco.

It is, perhaps, a world of Forms à la Plato, where everything on Earth is a pale imitation of an outside world of pure reason. Or else Immanuel Kant’s idea of a logical realm of ‘Things-in-themselves’, where things take their pure forms uncorrupted by the unreliable senses. The thing being embodied here may be the series’ central theme - freedom - as it transcends space and time entirely. It even allows Zeke to transcend death.

Ymir, as the original, appears to have more agency and self-awareness on this plane, and can continue to impact the real world from it. She appears to control the Titan that rescues him: there’s no way it could be smart enough to rescue him on its own.

But why would she want to rescue Zeke, who aims to euthanise all Eldians? That would bring an end to the endless realm - the Paths can only exist while Eldians do. It seems to me that is exactly why she wants to do it. Ymir is feeling the pains of absolute freedom - she has been on this plane for almost 2,000 years, perhaps as the only conscious and self-aware element. Aiding Zeke is the only way she can die.

In this way she reflects her would-be assassin, who seeks not only his own destruction but the end of his entire kind. Eren too, who has viewed, and - if he is being honest - continues to view his existence as a mistake.

Freud’s not super popular on tumblr, but here I think it’s worth mentioning his idea of the dual drives of humankind, eros and thanatos, love and death. We’ve seen love in other parts of SNK, and hopefully Eren will be reminded of that drive (or is already being driven by it) before the story’s end. Here, the death-wish is very prominent. Even the god of this universe - or the closest thing it has to one - wants to die.

The world is cruel, after all, and even if Eren could achieve total freedom he would still be dissatisfied like Ymir is. Ideals are never as simple as they are in our youth. However, it is also beautiful. That is the crux of the series and what must not be forgotten.

Acts of love like this one are what make it worth being born into this world. Carla telling Eren he is great just for being born into this world is what he should pay attention to far more than anything Grisha or Zeke tell him.

In the end, it’s only Eren who controls the Co-Ordinate. The attitude of one man determines the existence of the entire Eldian race and the possibility of eternal freedom in a whole other plane of reality. He has always been torn between the longing for freedom and the hatred of suffering: for the sake of the latter, will he forever close off the former? Will he fulfil his vow to destroy the Titans, and in doing so, condemn the universe to an existence without freedom?

His dreams no longer intersect. He must choose one.

I think he will choose the better one.

#shingeki no kyojin #snk meta #eren jaeger #snk 115 #zeke jaeger #path girl #snk spoilers #ymir fritz #ymir

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ruftextbrock · 3 years

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24 October 2021

It seems that no matter what I do, nothong seems to matter and they contibue gassing me ever harder.

My case is now before The Court of Human Rights under Article 13, The Right to a Remedy, the thing which they are fighting so hard to prevent me from getting. Lewisham Council, Lewisham Police, The NHS, also under Articles 2 and 3, The Right to Life and Torture respectively. Articles 5 and 8 for keeping me confined and spying on everything I do. Fourteen cameras disguised as lights follow my every move inside my flat, record my every word. They walk in illegally when they feel like, steal my documents, poison anything they find, drill holes so they can gas me.

Top one is one of the 14, bottom one is a security camera. Separated at birth?

The builder who's been carrying out repairs to the adjoining house keeps making changes, practically daily. The house was finished in August! They can now gas me in every room of the house and can switch, within minutes from one room to another. The place was already a gas chamber when I came here. I covered the gaps and repaired many things and they found ways to undo them all. In the last few weeks, they have been working on the void in my roof. I imagined that it was to do with an infra red camera as I covered all the other cameras and they need to know where I am in order to direct the gas. The stuff they are using currently, cuts through your innards like razor blades, makes your lungs stuffen up and gets into your joints causing paralysis. It is not a pleasant death. Can't be legal to buy. Definitely criminal to use on your tenants and the people around as it goes out of the windows. I spoke to the school across the way, St Dunston, to inform them. They are currently on half term but there's always people around. I showed them my files and my cases to the Housing and Care Ombudsman, to the ICO, for falsifying my medical records and refusing to hand my files over as well as the right to have anything detrimental to me, removed. My case to the Court of Human Rights is now queued up for a hearing early next year. Somebody called Liam called from the school, told me he'd call me back, then didn't, Didn't take my call or acknowledge my message to number 0208692621*. If something happens to any of the kids, their parents or staff, they could get sued and face having no insurance.

The belongings of people who were less fortunate than myself, pile up outside every weekend. There's ambulances coming and going every week. The gray man brings them out in the middle of the night. The bodies aren't even cold yet.

I notified the Lord Chief Justice that I had followed all the procedures for the last two years, including, the last resort of contacting three ministers and getting absolutely nowwhere. The disgusting investigation conducted by the Housing and Care Ombudsman and the libelous allegations whenever I seek to get help. Clearly these procedures are there to prevent us from getting justice, not to be of any help. We pay these people. They're public servants! Every person or organisation I contact, joins the corrupt list and I get gassed harder.

I asked the Ombudsman for help and they said they would, then spent 8 months on an investigation where tthey neither left their own house, nor mentioned my complaints about my living conditions. I wrote to the Secretary of State for Housing, the Secretary of State for Health and the Home Secretary for help. I filed my complaint against the lot of them in April with the ICO and haven't heard a thing. The Health professionals made some small concessions but didn't deal with my requests. My case is at the European Court of Human Rights and other than gassing me and everyone around me, they seemingly have no fear of any consequence.

Every so often, I consider what might have been if I'd allowed Lewisham Hospital to euthanise me in December 2019. I can't decide whether my physical injuries, which were horrendously painful to start with or the mental torture, or the harassment, or the libelous allegations they make every time I seek a remedy. I owned my own home outright drove a Mercedes and never took drugs. I wasn't on the streets. They managed to take all that away from me. This is a country in the G7, and yet, some unknown entity has taken the decision that I am a burden to the state and therefore have to be put down.

#lewisham council #uk government #uk news

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thakurtho · 4 years

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Coming to terms with death

My rendevouz with death happened comparatively late in life. Usually, kids do exposed to death and I wonder how they process it. I am just grateful that I was old enough to process it. However, it was a journey to really come to terms with it.

My paternal grandfather’s death was the first one I experienced. Throat cancer. I was doing my post graduation by then I think. My parents had moved to Delhi. He had started living with them for proper cancer treatment. He was an avid reader all his life. A political science professor. Towards his end, the glaucoma in his eyes prevented him from reading. That’s when he started losing his battle. He was anyway quite old to fight this battle. But in one of those interactions, I remember him confiding in me and saying ‘I don’t want to die’. I found it strange. He was in his late 70s. He still had that much attachment that he wanted to just live through this painful cancer. It made me think. Are people ever ok with dying?

The second death I experienced was an untimely one. My paternal uncle. A freak medical ignorance case. It changed my father for good because he could never learn to forgive himself for being a doctor but not being able to protect his younger brother from death. But it was the first time I saw my father so broken that he was completely dysfunctional. I had to do things which normally he would have done. He took the call of removing my uncle from the life support after he was declared to be brain dead. He did that from home. He didn’t have the strength in him to come to the hospital. Everyone was a wreck. I went in to the NICU. I stood by my uncle, alone, when they pulled the plug. I did it to ‘see’ death. I wanted to see how life finally leaves the physical form. In his scenario, it was painless since he was gone before that. It was surreal. I didn’t know how to react. I remember being this hyper functional person when he was brought back home for cremation. I had very short bouts of tears. I was mostly running around figuring out the arrangements, making lemonade for all who couldn’t stop crying and ensuring that they didn’t get dehydrated.

My parents dogs died after that. I didn’t go back home for that. I feel bad about that now. I should have. But I am certain I acted with that knowledge then and that little nag is what taught me the lesson in life & death perhaps.

However, it was the year 2015 when I finally came to terms with death.

My maternal grandfather, who I was very close to, hadn’t been keeping well towards the end of 2014. I kept ignoring it for a while - I thought it was the usual old people sick thing. In Jan 2015, I decided to go pay him a visit. He was admitted to the hospital for the first time that day when I landed. I visited him. I played music for him. He asked me to play Marie’s her name by Elvis. I had all Elvis songs aside of that on my phone. I went back after 3 days. I thought he would get better. He hardly left the hospital after that. I remember the last time I spoke to him was in the midst of my theater practise. I was telling him about the play I was doing - Vagina Monologues. My nana was way too progressive for his times. And then, some days later, I got a call saying he is pretty much comatose. I went to visit him in the hospital. He wasn’t there. His body was, but he wasn’t conscious. He would have some bouts of what seemed like visions to me. His face would get twisted and eyes would roll like he was seeing the light. I put my pendant under his pillow in the hope of sending some energy. I left Calcutta. The night I landed back in Bangalore, he was gone. Midway during my flight I suppose. I didn’t go for his cremation. I went 13 days later for the other function that happens. I don’t know why I did it. But I did. Thankfully, my family didn’t judge me for it.

Sometime later, around August, my pregnant cat Leia, fell down my 3 floor balcony. I didn’t realise it. I was in my car, getting out of my house, and I suddenly looked right - for no real reason. And the reason was ofcourse to find my Leia hurt very badly. I picked her up, put her on my lap and started driving straight for the vet. I was beyond myself during that drive. I took Shinoy with me so I could be calm. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I didn’t see her missing. Could I have found her earlier? She got operated. Her children didn’t make it. She couldn’t survive the fall. I was alone at the vet all day through her surgery. I remember coming back to office for a bit, our biggest client till date got closed on that day. I went back. They asked me what I wanted to do with the body. I didn’t know. They said they could bury her by the tracks somewhere. I said ok. I didn’t know if there was anything I could do better. I lived in guilt. Of not noticing that my child was missing that morning when I fed the rest of them.

Later that year in Nov, I moved in to this house that I live in currently. Leia’s sibling, Luke, was an active little boy. I came to this house so that my cats could go out of the house. I found it cruel to keep them in an apartment, particularly after Leia’s fall. But what do you know? Luke got hit by a car and died on the road behind my house. My maid came in early morning shouting Luke Luke to me. She speaks only in Tamil, so I couldn’t really get what she was saying, but I was prepared for the worst in that short walk from my house to the road. There he was, splattered. Hit by a truck, perhaps. I asked her to stand there with him. I went back to my house, picked up an old sheet. I came back and picked him up. I coudn’t take him inside my house because I had other beings. So I opened my car, put him in the boot. I asked my office admin to come home with a rake. And then both of us dug up the small mud patch outside my house and put him there. For months after, I couldn’t drive past that part of the road, but I purposely did, in some twisted way of punishing myself. I would drive past to see how long that blood patch of his would be there on the road. I couldn’t forgive myself for moving into this house, and inadvertently causing his death. I had my other cats on the streets. I couldn’t stop worrying if they would meet the same fate. I felt responsible.

By the end of that year, beings really close to me were gone. I think I came to death then. I realised that I was too small in the scheme of life and death to think I could have caused or prevented anything. I absolved myself of all the guilt. I understood that there’s nothing more natural than death. I was always functional around death before that, but now I know the depth of that loss. It has made me appreciate the depth of that presence. I deeply understand that no physical form will pass before its time. When it does, it just will. We as humans don’t have any control over it.

I saw another very close death 2 years later. An uncle of mine - who had been my mausi’s love for 20 years. I dearly loved that man. He was battling blood cancer. I was making a trip to Calcutta to see him because he was sick. 2 nights before my date of travel, my mausi called at 1am. I dread midnight calls for this very reason. He was gone. I felt a jab of regret - of not making it in time. But the day I landed, was the day he came home for cremation. I stood by my mausi through that entire process - when her own children weren’t there. She was alone. And I realised, that is exactly why I was supposed to come. I absolved myself of my guilt. Truth is, things just happen the way they are supposed to. We need to stop beating ourselves for it. Somewhere between 2015 & 2018, my partner’s dog passed. I ensured I went with him to the vet when they euthanised him, even though his own family was there. I went with him to the farm where we lay him. I can’t take away anyone’s grief. But just being physically present for someone at the time when the body passes, is the strength that they need. I have started prioritising travel for death over everything. Everything else can wait, but that one moment in someone’s life has come. And we need to give it the due respect it deserves.

I celebrate life today. I live with the cognisance that anyone I know can die any day. Do I have unsaid things to them? Do I have undone things? Can I do more with every minute that I share with people and beings? I let my dogs sleep in my bed after this year - realising that someday, they will be gone as well. I might as well snuggle as much I can today. Screw the fur in my bed. I mended my relationship with my immediate family and the people in my family I care about. I have Marie’s her name on my phone. We have put a bereavement leave in our HR policy.

Steve Jobs said live like you are going to die tomorrow and ensure you are doing everything that you love before that, everyday. I do that now. Be present. Wherever my life is taking me, I find reason and purpose. I give it what I got. Everything is ephermeral. All we can do is be present while it lasts.

#MySpirituality #GyanDrop

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tumblunni · 7 years

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Bunni plays Richard and Alice, and gets an ending, and DIES INSIDE, WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

* okay seriously i was COMPLETELY WRONG about every expectation i had, holy fucking shit

* In the end the final flashback was EVEN WORSE than I ever expected, oh god i wanna throw up! I don’t know if things could have gone differently due to my choices, but the way it went down this time was just... oh god... “I am gonna bawl my eyes out if Barney dies” HEY YOU KNOW WHAT’S EVEN WORSE THAN THAT?? He was dying and his mother had to mercy kill him so he wouldnt suffer What the fuck, what the holy everyloving fuck jesus christ god no The only choice i had in the matter was that i gave him back his toy car to hold while he fell asleep, and then it appeared on his grave at the ending and i got a few extra lines of continuity hoping that Barney is going on an adventure with Daddy in his big ol car... Fuck fucking christ god no oh godddd

* and like HEY LETS JUST RUB SOME SALT IN THE WOUND apparantly the grave we were visiting all this time was empty cos nobody could even find her husband’s body so like.. she doesnt even have the consolation of knowing they’ll be together in death

* oh and DEAR GOD there was a REALLY ATMOSPHERIC scene before it really fucking surreal and confusing oh god you’re just left with the dying barney sitting there on the floor and no choice and no items except your gun and i knew right them what i was supposed to do but i tried to leave and backtrack and find anything that could help and then all you can do is return to that empty church and find that it isnt empty anymore there’s some weird nameless faceless grandpa hiding in the confessional booth, and you can talk to him about this horrible horrible story and your horrible horrible choice and you never get to actually see who he is or anything but i choose to believe he actually did want to help, and all.. the conversation with him helped it be a little less painful at least

* and then you just go back to the empty grave marking your dead husband, and you have a horrible scene of her breaking down and yelling at him cos she knows he’d believe she’s stronger than this, and he’d tell her not to kill herself, but she really wants to die if she has to take her son’s life and god, she talks about how she attempted suicide once before from depression back when they first married, and he saved her from doing it, and now she wishes she could have died back then and never brought her son into the world if he’s just gonna suffer like this oh godddddd

* and then we get back to the present day and its all ‘aww richard really cares about you’ and ‘oh that silly richard being a comic relief’ and ‘hooray we managed to escape’ and then THE BIGGEST FUCKING EVIL PLOT TWIST HOLY JESUS FUCK

* richard i have never wanted to reach thru a screen and strangle a man more than this moment jesus fuck

* mr purposely vague ‘oh im just a generic good guy’ protagonist was lying THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME and god its even worse cos like all of his personality was still real he’s a sick fuck who THINKS he’s a good guy, and tries to be all friendly like, and just like.. compartmentalizes it away in the back of his head and pretends he hasn’t committed this damn sin, that he still counts as good if he’s just ~polite~

* FUCK SERIOUSLY MAN I have never been so terrified to hear the word brussel sprouts! I didnt even think to mention the brussel sprouts line back when I heard it! you just hear one of the gang members mention some stupid folksy idiom about brussel sprouts during the flashbacks I should have fucking known it was richard, it fits with his goddamn fake good guy persona! he slips up and mentions it after you leave the prison, he doenst know you heard him say it before GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU YOU SICK FUCK

* and like.. well.. at least it seems I was wrong about the cannibalism. Or at least, as far as richard knows they werent doing that to the victims. But it feels like he didnt know or care what happened to the people he kidnapped, all part of his strategy to put it out of mind and pretend he’s still the good guy... But GOD thats kinda EVEN WORSE that we dont even know what they were doing to the victims! Richard says they were ‘kept in relative comfort’ and compares it to being in this prison. ‘At least they had food and clothes, they wouldnt have that outside’. YEAH BUT YOURE FUCKING KEEPING THEM AS SLAVES AND POSSIBLY *SEX SLAVES* AND GOD JESUS FUCKING CHRIST And we get a partial answer to what happened to the kids from that diary. Apparantly Lucy was (for some reason) valued very highly as a slave, so much so that they’d actually pay the expense of finding insulin to keep her alive. Thats what makes me think it might have been sex slavery, i mean.. they’re valuing this one child slave higher than the rest. The other theory is that maybe Lucy was actually Richard’s daughter that he mentioned as his excuse for working for this gang, he says he was ensured that his family would be kept safe as long as he sacrificed other people... God its so fucked up. And then he tries to justify it to Alice by saying blablabla we do what we have to do to survive and morality is relative and ohhhh we’re not the bad guys i mean they’d suffer more if they died in the cold compared to living longer in pain and slavery AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART IS???

* i got THE FUCKIN WORST ENDING, JESUS CHRIST somehow my choices during my first run led to an ending where alice agrees to join richard’s shit gang i cant even blame her for it, she was fuckin mentally shattered by having to euthanise her son and then she had a scrap of hope with an apparant friendship with an apparantly moral man and then he fucking turns out to be this sort of shit and she has no reason to keep going and i suppose this is technically ‘good’ cos she decided to live, but she also decided to be led away by a manipulative fuckass and join an evil slavery cult and god she probably feels like she’s already a ‘sinner’ cos of what she did to her kid so she belongs with them GAHHHH this is a story of a villain who’s convinced he’s good, and a good person who’s convinced she’s a villain! T_T

* I hope I can find a better ending to this...

* I hope there’s an ending where richard gets bitchslapped in the face with a two-by-four

* Seriously did i just get this ending because I tried to act like a decent friend to Richard and then just SUDDEN TWIST he was evil the whole time and GAHHHH

* fuck you richard fucking fuck you dont deserve top billing in the title

#bunni plays richard and alice #I AM SO ANGRY AND TIRED AND AAAAA #please tell me there is at least one good ending

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dyingkink · 7 years

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Just me rambling about being suicidal.

What’s the point of life if nothing makes you happy?

I miss feeling like things mattered, I miss caring about anything at all. I miss being happy, I miss being hopeful, I miss feeling like I had value, I miss feeling like life had value – like life was worth it. As if it all wasn’t just pointless, endless stress and pain for no good reasons besides “my family will be said if I die” It's gotten to the point where I wish my own family would die so that I wouldn’t be forced to live another day. I wish I was able to enjoy waking up in the morning, but I don’t, each day I open my eyes I wish I hadn’t.

I’ve seen countless psychologists, been on countless different medications and nothing has helped. I’ve been struggling with this for 10 years now and nothing is getting better. I fail to see the point in trying anymore, I regret the last 10 years. I regret not taking my life sooner, I look back at the times when I attempted suicide and I wish I could say I was happy that I failed, but I wish that I hadn’t. I wish I had died when I was 15 and attempted for the first time, I wish I had died when I was 16 and attempted again, and I wish I had died when I attempted at 18. I wish I would’ve died so I would no longer be in this amount of pain I’m stuck in.

This isn’t living. This is me suffering and sticking around so that others don’t have to be sad when I die, but that’s not fair. I’ve been sad for far too long and you wouldn’t let an animal suffer because them being here makes you happy. You’d euthanise them because it’s cruel to just want someone to be here because you’d be sad if you they weren’t.

I can barely get through the day. I sleep until 3-4pm and then I just lay in my bed on my computer until 3-4am where I fall asleep, and then I repeat that over and over. I don’t have the energy to do anything, I don’t want to do anything. I want to just stop existing.

I only bathe because my parents remind me to, and even then I just fill the bathtub up with water and sit in it. I go weeks without brushing my hair, and I only brush it when I have to leave the house (which isn’t often) I can’t remember the last time I’ve washed my face or brushed my teeth. I just don’t have the energy, and frankly I just don’t care. I couldn’t be less apathetic towards my own personal hygiene/appearance.

Some days are worse than others and I have to medicate myself to get through it. Whether that be half a bottle of vodka or 15+ Panadeine Extra pills. The only time I have truly felt happiness this past year is when I’ve taken codeine. I know the Panadol is fucking my liver up – I mean I take anywhere from 10-18 in one go, and that’s about 8-10 times a month. I honestly do not care what it’s doing to my internal organs, I’d actually be glad for it to cause them to shut down because then I can die. I know it’s excruciating, all I need is the diagnose that things are failing and I’d off myself without feeling guilty because I would’ve died anyway.

I’m currently enrolled in university but I’m 22 and in my first year (again) because I keep failing classes due to my lack of energy/motivation. I barely show up for my lectures, and I only put in the bare minimum of effort in my exams and assignments. I feel like a complete and utter failure because I know my life is going nowhere. I know I’ll never graduate, and if I do somehow manage to do so my GPA would be terrible, I’d never get a job and all of this would have just been a waste.

I have no friends, and I am not kidding. Not one single person besides my mum and dad would notice, let alone care, if I was to die tomorrow. I can’t remember the last time I texted somebody or had a conversation with someone. Nobody wants to be my friend. I’m socially awkward and I’m a boring person. Nobody wants to talk to me. I’ve also never had a relationship, I don’t want to, so that’s not exactly a concern. But it’s just another area of my life that’s empty and lacking something.

I miss being sad. I miss crying, I miss feeling anything towards life besides apathy. I feel nothing. I feel like a hollow shell that’s had its insides scraped out and thrown against the wall. I feel empty. It’s part of the reason why I sleep most of my days away, because it’s easier to just not exist when I sleep then to feel like I don’t exist when I’m awake. It’s as if someone’s switched me off. I’m just so fucking numb all the time.

Suicide honestly feels like it’s my only option at this point. It’s weird to think about it in this way, all the other times I attempted was because I was “sad” and upset about something, there was something going wrong in my life, there was something I wanted to go away, I wanted the pain to stop, all those other clichéd reasons as to why someone wants to die. This time, it’s something I actually feel okay with and have accepted. I’m bored of life, and it’s as if you’re at the movies and the film you’re watching is boring, sometimes you just have to get up and walk out. I want to walk out of life. I’m bored and tired of feeling like this, or not feeling anything, not caring about anything, having nothing to look forward to. The only think I look forward to is the day that I die.

I learnt how to tie a noose and I found the perfect location. I don’t know how much longer I can continue doing this. Being in pain so that my parents don’t have to. It’s unfair on me, and it’s selfish to make me stick around just so that two people don’t have to grieve. What about me? What about how I’m feeling. What about how I have to feel like complete and utter worthless shit every single day. I wish someone would just tell me that it’s okay to let go, and that they’ll take my pain away by transferring my emotional pain to their emotional pain of grief. I don’t have anything to live for. I don’t want to keep going through this repetitive cycle each day of wake up, lay in bed, go to sleep, wake up, repeat, repeat, repeat. This isn’t living and I don’t want to do this anymore. I’ve gone through this for far too long.

I’ve got life insurance, and I’ve had it for the minimum period needed for it to payout in a suicide. I listed both my parents as the beneficiaries. $150,000 to pay for all the debt, trouble, and anguish I’ve caused. All I’ve ever done when I’ve been alive is cause problems, and I know that it’s not much but it’s better than having a mistake of a daughter alive.

My parents don’t believe in mental illness, they never have, despite the fact I’ve attempted suicide three times and been institutionalised another three times for suicidal ideation. They don’t think it’s a real thing, and they tell me that I’m just lazy and that I need to get over it. They tell me each day how disappointed in me they are, because all I ever do is sleep, and they tell me how much of a mess I am.

I live in a rural area, and I don’t have the money to see a GP here, not that seeing one would help anyway. I have a mental health plan, I’m on medications, I’ve been on countless different medications. There’s no psychologists where I live and the closest ones are in the next suburb which is 30-40 minutes away. I don’t have a license, and there’s no public transport, and my parents wouldn’t drive me to see a psychologist. I don’t want to go into inpatient, the hospital here is terrible. I went once when I was 16 and it was the worst time of my life, I don’t want to go back.

I don’t even think I want help, I’ve just come to the point where I’ve accepted that I’m not going to get better and one of these days I’m going to end up taking my own life, and I think that I’m okay with that

#suicide #suicidal #suicidal ideation #suicidal thoughts #depression #borderline personality disorder

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totally-sewer-apples-blog · 7 years

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Raphael, the Dog Lover (TMNT)

This is the pitbull thing that was requested a while ago and I figured I’d write it while I’m in the swing of writing requests. ^.^ Plus this so cute and I love doggies... My only issue is because I love doggies, I know there are several breeds of dog that are called 'pit bull'. It's a type of dog, not a breed. Personally I'm going to write the dog as a Staffordshire Bull Terrier. Why? My own dog is a staffie, and a recuse for that matter. Serious note before we get onto the fic, pit bulls are often victimised by the media but the dogs are sweethearts and anyone who knows anything about the breed is well aware of this. Owners are to blame. I say this as someone who owns a dog who was quite nasty when I got her. Now she is very sweet. Her old owner used to beat her. I think that speaks miles about it. Because of this abuse of the breeds known as pitbulls, most of them end up in shelters. About half a million pit bulls are euthanised in shelters every year, about 40% of all dogs euthanised. (Not that kill shelters aren't a problem in and of themselves) Please, please, please, if you're thinking of getting a dog, consider a pit. It's a bit of a long story and this foreword is getting too long as it is, but my pitbull saved myself and my sister from being murdered. And it's not we might have been hurt, we would have died. I'll never forget that. And I'm not trying to say another dog breed wouldn't do that, all dogs would but that's my point. Pits are not these evil creatures the media makes them out to be. They're dogs. - Raphael sighed, as he ventured the rooftops. Alone. Unusual for this time of night. He should be heading home, with his brothers but tonight had been different. He'd had a small... Exchange with Mikey forcing Leo and Donnie to step in- But dammit Mikey had started it with that dumb prank! So now, he was taking the long way home. Descending from the city buildings, he made his way into the alleyway, only to hear... Whimpering? It was a strange noise but in a city like this it was one he could recognise as a dog. There were so many pet pooches around, he'd grown used to their noises. While he could have just went home and forgot about the whole thing, he was up for anything in order to avoid going home to confront his family. So follow it he did, tracking the noise to the back of some garbage cans. Lying there, nursing a clearly broken paw and a skeletal body, was the thinnest dog Raphael had ever seen. She whimpered and whined, licking at the blood seeping from the wound. Raphael grunted a little, the sight unnerving him. Poor dog, how had she gotten into such a state? He wondered. " Yer not lookin' yer best, are ye, girl? " He asked, making a few soft kissy noises to get her attention. In response the dog's head snapped up, her ears pinned back, a low growl escaping a throat. Raph slowly raises his hands. " S'alright, I'm not gonna hurt ya, " He assured, trying to work out how to calm the canine. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small wrapper. It was just a cereal bar, mostly oatmeal and honey. He usually carried one or two on him, for working out if he got hungry so he didn't need to stop. Unwrapping it, he held it out carefully to her. The dog seemed to give a small sniff, examining the extended morsel before giving a few uncertain licks. Having come to the decision it was not dangerous and tasted good, she wolfed it down, her tail wagging heavily; beating against the ground. " There's a good girl. Were you hungry? " He asked, very slowly moving a hand towards her to sniff, clenched in a fist. At the sight, the dog howled, whimpering and trying to back off. Quickly Raph stopped and she calmed. He paused for a moment, frowning before he tried it again, his hand held loosely now. She seemed more calm with this, her wet nose rubbing his scales. Raph clenched his teeth a little. " It was a person that did this to you, wasn't it girl? " He asked, as she continued to explore his hand with her tongue. He wasn't really sure why he was talking to the dog, she couldn't talk back, it just felt more natural than silence. After staying there for maybe ten, fifteen minutes, slowly building up some trust with her; Raph very carefully moved to slip his strong arms beneath her, scooping her up, paying no mind to the blood that coated his arm now. The dog seemed somewhat happy to have the pressure taken off of her leg, it seemed. Slightly less so about the smell of the sewer. Upon arriving, Mikey was the first to greet him, as usual. Looking up from the comic he was reading, he took a moment to register before gasping in shock. " Dude, that's a dog, " He said, leaning over the couch, childishly. Raph grunted. " Yes, Mikey, she's a dog, " Raph agreed, making his way to Donnie's lab. " What's wrong with her leg? And how'd you know she's a she? " Mikey asked. " Someone hurt her... And you can tell on pitbulls, " He responded. " Pitbull? " Donnie looked up from his work as Raph walked in, the messy bundle of chocolate and white fur in his arms still. Studying the creature as he rose out of his chair, he corrected, " Actually I think she's a Staffordshire Bull Terrier. While Pitbull is technically correct, that's a type of dog, not a breed. " " Whatever you say Kennel Club, can you help her? " Raph asked nervously. " I don't know, I'm no vet... I'll call April and Casey, if they're free I'll ask one of them to take her to a vet. I'll try and make her comfortable until then, " Donnie agreed, clearing a space on the table for her while searching for his phone. " Al'ight, but don't mess around, " Raph agreed, patting soft ears as he placed her down. - It was a week later when Raph got a call. From April. Placing his weights to the side, he grabbed his phone and answered. " Hey? " He asked, wondering what she wanted. " Hey, Raph, it's about that dog you found. The vet's prescribed her a medical plan and they've operated on her leg but they've had to amputate it, " At the mention of this, Raph winced at the memory of the mangled leg. He wasn't surprised, it'd been a mess. " She's really underweight but the vet says she should make a full recovery and she should still be able to walk once she figures out how to balance, " April finished. " That's great, I'm glad she's doing good, " Raphael told her, as he picked up a bottle of energy drink, downing half the bottle. " Yeah but now they want to know what to do with her. The state could take her but... The nearest shelter is a high kill one. So the vet asked if I wanted to take her... But I really don't have the time for a dog. " " You're asking me if I want her? " Raph asked. " Yeah, I am... I guess if you don't we could try and find someone el- " " No, " He cut her off. " I'll take her, " He agreed without a moment of hesitation. Master Splinter was going to kill him. But it was the right thing to do. - Once she got home, she was like a new dog. Raph could hardly believe this dog April had brought with her was the same pitbull he'd found last week. " Thatta girl, " He praised, rubbing her belly as she ambled over to him, still trying to perfect the balance of running on only three legs. " Are you going to name her? " Leo asked, watching vaguely amused from the couch. " Name her? " " Well, duh, she needs a name, " Mikey quipped in response. " I vote for Turtledog. Like Batdog, but a turtle. " Raphael rolled his eyes, considering for a moment. " I don't know, I'm no good at names, " He admitted. " What about Tenshi? " Leo offered idly. While Raph's Japanese might not have been as great as his brothers, he could translate that well enough, Angel. " Mm, I guess it's better than Turtledog, " Raph agreed, chuckling as he pet her ears. " Oh and Raph, the vet mentioned something else, " April said. " Really what? " " Just to mention she's recently had pups. Maybe she was part of a puppy farm and they decided they didn't want her anymore? " April offered, trying to explain it somehow. Raphael nodded, looking back to Tenshi as she snuggled up to him. A sigh escaped him, " Where are your babies girl? I hope they're doing better than you were. " - The next day, Raph was walking Tenshi. It was a little hard, given he had to avoid being seen and let her pee and all, but he managed it. Somehow. He didn't have a leash but he didn't seem to need one, as she happily plodded along. At some point however, she seemed to be leading him, rather than him her. " Tenshi, Tenshi c'mere, where ye going girl? " He called after her, carefully following as she crossed the street. This was near where he'd found her, only maybe a block or so away. He continued to follow her, all the way to a seemingly abandoned warehouse, continuing to call after her but stubbornly she seemed to be ignoring him. Once inside, he followed her further, round the back of some dusty crates that hadn't been touched in what could have been years. There he found something most unusual. Tucked into a makeshift bed of the sheets that used to cover crates were four skinny puppies, guarded by a Dalmatian; his face battle scarred and worn. Tenshi greeted the other dog happily, nuzzling and licking faced as Raph followed curiously. Upon getting closer the Dalmatian snarled, baring his fangs however Tenshi happily trotted up to him and pressed some slobbery kissed to his leg and the spotty dog accompanying her seemed to understand. " Tenshi, these are your babies, " Raph said happily, a very proud smile on his face, his heart melting. He was glad his brothers weren't around to see him consumed by his soft side. Carefully holding out a hand to pet the Dalmatian who was now equally as curious about him, he smiled. " Is this yer mate? Has he been looking after yer pups? He's a good boy, " He praised, ruffling his ears. " C'mon, " He said, gathering up the pups in the sheet with no protest from either parent. " Let's go home, all of us. " - A year later, Raph lounged by the TV. To one side of him Tenshi was snuggled up to him. Her stomach was once more swollen with pups, she'd give birth soon. By his feet lay her loyal protector and 'Raph's good boy', Butch the Dalmatian. Only two of their first litter still remained in the Lair. Turtledog, who was of course Mikey's bundle of fun and Hana (Flower in Japanese) who had become something of a therapy dog for Master Splinter. Beowulf and Godzilla were never far behind their master, Casey. " You want some beef jerky? " Raph offered the dogs and at the mention of 'beef jerky' Turtledog had somehow appeared from the woodwork for her fair share of the food. Hana didn't seem so bothered, resting still by Splinter's feet. Looking around him, Raph was very happy he had decided to keep Tenshi. She had only brought their family happiness. She was an angel, just with four legs and a tail rather than wings.

#brayden1616 #TMNT #Tmnt 2003 #Tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt raphael

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iprayunceasingly-blog · 5 years

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'Induced' deaths rise in Netherlands, sparking concerns from doctors, ethicists

New Post has been published on https://pray-unceasingly.com/catholic-living/catholic-news/induced-deaths-rise-in-netherlands-sparking-concerns-from-doctors-ethicists/

'Induced' deaths rise in Netherlands, sparking concerns from doctors, ethicists

Amsterdam, Netherlands, Jan 22, 2019 / 04:39 pm (CNA/EWTN News).- Legalized euthanasia and assisted suicide have the longest history in the Netherlands: 17 years ago, the two practices became legal, under what were supposed to be very limited circumstances, available only to those undergoing “unbearable” suffering with “no reasonable alternatives” for relief.

But time has brought a loosening of definitions and a level of comfortability with the practices, increasingly extending their availability far beyond patients with terminal conditions and extreme pain.

The Guardian recently reported that “well over a quarter” of deaths in the Netherlands in 2017 were “induced.” This included 6,585 who died by euthanasia; around 1,900 who killed themselves; and 32,000 “who died under palliative sedation.”

In a longform piece published by the Guardian, Christopher de Bellaigue examines the increased popularity of the practices, and the expanding availability of euthanasia and assisted suicide to include the young and the mentally (though not physically) ill.

He also notes that the increase in demand has some doctors and ethicists balking at the practice, and questioning whether the Netherlands has headed down the oft-referenced “slippery slope” of having gone too far in letting people choose when to die.

“The process of bringing in euthanasia legislation began with a desire to deal with the most heartbreaking cases – really terrible forms of death,” Theo Boer, an ethics teacher at the Theological University of Kampen, told the Guardian. “But there have been important changes in the way the law is applied. We have put in motion something that we have now discovered has more consequences than we ever imagined.”

Those opposed to assisted suicide and euthanasia often do so out of concern for the possibility of coercion, or the impossibility of predicting whether someone’s condition or mental state might improve, with additional care. Many disability groups actively campaign against it, arguing that it discriminates against the disabled, making insurance companies more likely to pay for their death than their ongoing care.

Ethicist Berna Van Baarsen shares similar concerns. Sometimes patients write advance directives, requesting assisted suicide once they deteriorate past a certain point, while they are still fully physically and mentally competent. But these patients may adjust to their new circumstances and change their mind, but be unable to communicate, making it nearly impossible to know whether their original request still stands.

Van Baarsen resigned from her position on a euthanasia case review board last year, citing her qualms with these types of cases, which are common.

“It is fundamentally impossible to establish that the patient is suffering unbearably, because he can no longer explain it,” she told the Dutch daily Trouw.

She has also recently lamented that “legal arguments” often weigh more heavily on committees that approve people’s requests for euthanasia, “while the moral question of whether in certain cases good is done by killing, threatens to get snowed under,” the Guardian reported.

“The underlying problem with the advance directives is that they imply the subordination of an irrational human being to their rational former self, essentially splitting a single person into two mutually opposed ones. Many doctors, having watched patients adapt to circumstances they had once expected to find intolerable, doubt whether anyone can accurately predict what they will want after their condition worsens,” de Bellaigue wrote.

De Bellaigue also detailed another disturbing case, in which a doctor went on vacation at a time when one of her patients had requested euthanasia, but she had declined his case, at least for the time. When she came back, another doctor had euthanised her patient.

“…guilt was a factor; if she hadn’t gone away, would her patient still be alive? Now she was making plans to leave the practice, but hadn’t yet made an announcement for fear of unsettling her other patients. ‘How can I stay here?’ she said. ‘I am a doctor and yet I can’t guarantee the safety of my most vulnerable patients,’” de Ballaige wrote.

Currently, a doctor is being investigated in the first case of euthanasia malpractice in the Netherlands. The case was the kind Van Baarsen was wary about – the woman in the case had signed an advance directive, requesting euthanasia if she was still mentally competent at the time it was carried out.

After getting dementia and being confined to a nursing home, the woman was secretly slipped a sedative by the doctor in question and then given a lethal injection. While the woman fought the doctor, her family held her down.

Prosecutors say they are investigating the doctor for administering euthanasia to a woman who had voiced different desires about euthanasia at different times, and for euthanizing her without checking to be sure it was her wish at the time. Two other cases investigating possible euthanasia malpractice have been dropped.

De Ballaige wrote that these cases may be the cause of a 9 percent drop in euthanasia and assisted suicide that has been reported for the first nine months of 2018.

Boer told the Guardian that when he speaks to lawmakers from other countries considering legalized euthanasia and assisted suicide, he points to the Netherlands as a warning.

“Look closely at the Netherlands because this is where your country may be 20 years from now,” he said.

Euthanasia and assisted suicide are legal only in a handful of states in the U.S., though there has been a recent push to legalize the practice in more places, in part due to the high-profile case of Brittany Maynard, a 29 year-old with terminal cancer who ended her life via assisted suicide in 2014. Compassion and Choices, which advocates for legalized euthanasia and assisted suicide, helped publicize her death.

Catholic social teaching holds assisted suicide and euthanasia to be “morally unacceptable.” The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that “even if death is thought imminent, the ordinary care owed to a sick person cannot be legitimately interrupted. The use of painkillers to alleviate the sufferings of the dying, even at the risk of shortening their days, can be morally in conformity with human dignity if death is not willed as either an end or a means, but only foreseen and tolerated as inevitable. Palliative care is a special form of disinterested charity. As such it should be encouraged.”

“Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of,” it adds.

In June 2016, Pope Francis denounced assisted suicide as part of a “throwaway culture” that offers a “false compassion” and treats a human person as a problem. Addressing medical professionals from Spain and Latin America at the Vatican, the Pope criticized “those who hide behind an alleged compassion to justify and approve the death of a patient.”

“True compassion does not marginalize anyone, nor does it humiliate and exclude – much less considers the disappearance of a person as a good thing.”

CNA Daily News – Europe

#'Induced'#Concerns #deaths #doctors #ethicists #from #Netherlands #rise #sparking #Catholic News

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lerrengwesten · 6 years

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I found a three-year old info page on an unused idea for a flat/fair ride-based region of the Peninsula. It’s not an idea I’m opposed to bringing back, but it’s not really relevant to the current story. I’ve been waffling about keeping Inoveluto though since I do really love her. There’s some info on her specifically below as well.

There’s some repeat stuff I’ve mentioned here before, as a note. Also some mentions of humans because this was when they were still going to be bit players in the story

Creating life is long and tedious, few creators can make more than 4-6 unique beings a year. There are two main types of being, the first type was developed more recently and are usually far faster, typically unique, and far larger than the second type. The first type is more appealing amongst Far Spirits (more about them later) and is currently the "ruling"group (more about that later as well). The second was the first and currently most populous. They live primarily in the Northern Plains, which is divided by two large lakes splitting it into three major sections. Creatures are typically mass clones/very similar siblings made from the same formula/plan. A few are unique, while most have several dozen clones, and others over a hundred or almost a thousand. Some clones are near identical, others look a bit or very different from each other, and many differ in personality due to their treatment by their Far Spirit. Different creators have certain "styles" and some make nicer/meaner creatures than others, or creatures of a certain type. Creators may eventually fade from existance or die after a number of years, and unless another creator comes in to support their creatures, they have an uncertain future. For severe injuries/harm, creators are usually needed make new parts for their creatures, and unless another creator can make them instead at a price the Far Sprit will pay, the creature may have to be euthanised.

Far Sprits and their role

Far Spirits commission/order or buy creatures from creators. A small few have creating powers themselves. Creatures are largely left on their own to roam in the Far Spirit's designated area, but Far Spirits help them is they are in trouble or injured. Many non-owning spirits will come down to watch their creature roam around and be entertaining, and often hold popularity polls, naming the coolest type one creature of the year. Creatures that are not entertaining, dangerous, old, without their creator to fix them, or otherwise undesitable are gently euthanised, usually with a month or two's warning. Most Far Spirits take at least decent care of their creatures, due to how expensive they are. There are few Far Spirits due to this as well. They provide a sort of "life force" to them that keeps them alive/alert and functioning. Creatures who belong to neglectful Far Spirits are weaker, scrawnier, shaky, sometimes nastier tempered, often confused/foggy-headed, and may have dull colors flecked with red-brown. Dull colors and flecking can also be caused by the Far Spirit's location in the universe, certain areas may impede their abilities to maintain their colors. Creatures eventually dull and become flecked with age as well, usually requiring a recoloring every few years.

Stationary Far Spirits

Stationary Far Spirits are one of two types of Far Spirit. They are very diverse, with some only owning a few small creatures and other owning over a hundred, many of them huge and impressive. The only thing they have in common is that they do not participate in border disputes. They have one shared ground where all other stationary spirits keep there creatures as well. In the south, below the Deset of the Forsaken, their type one creatures live in territories held by the creatures of certain creators, not Far Spirits (though Fsemacea don't care and live virtually anywhere). In the southern Northen Plains, the type twos also share a common land, but sometimes stay with their Far Spirit's other creatures. Some stationary Far Spirits are controlled by a higher power, such as the Banenhaxer and Tdaererce groups. Those controlled sometimes do not care for their creatures as well as those who are independent. But they usually buy larger and more expensive creatures.

Travelling Far Spirits

Travelling Far Sprits usually own mostly type two creatures due to their smaller size, lower price (these spirits has far smaller budgets), and better portability. These spirits are in a constant conflist for territory. Each time a new border is established, it holds for a year, so disputes in each place are held yearly. There is no actual fighting as injuring other creatures is VERY dishonorable and could get you euthanised, since new body parts are very expensive and Far Spirits are very attached to their creatures. Instead, there is a form of endurance dancing, where the creatures flail/dance around at typically high speeds or with chaotic motions to distract the other combatant, until one pokes the other in the chest. When this happens, the poked one was must draw back five feet. This process continues for as long as they are willing to go. Creatures compete one-on-one at various points around the boundaries (if you don't understand this, I will draw a diagram) , occaisonally swapping out for each other when their pack mates become exhausted. Sometimes larger groups will compete or multiple weaker creatures will gang up on a larger one. Creatures must keep moving quickly/to the best of their abilites while doing this or be scorned by the Judging Spirits above. Their opinion means nothing, but waiting for your opponent to tire and just poking them when given an opening is extremely dishonorable and will make you look lazy/cheating. Inoveluto does things a bit differently, more about that later. Many travelling creatures have bioluminescent markings of varying amounts to be flashy and confusing even at night. More about this later. They get the "travelling" name for the constant travelling their creatures do between disputes during the warm months. Teh creatures best suited for the dispute are sent to it from the central camp of the pack (usually located in teh heart of their territory, or th temporary camp they stay in between disputes. Smaller/fewer creatures go to small/unimportant conflicts, while more/larger ones go to larger ones, it all depends on what's needed to be successful their. The Far Spirit picks which ones go, but the appointed leader of the pack organizes them. During the colder months, creatures either compete in warmer areas or huddle p in their winter quarters where the Far Spirit preps them for the next season.

Travelling and Competition Process

The Far Spirit of a certain pack keeps track of when disputes are. Several months before each one, they give the list of creatures to be sent to the leader, so they can prepare. Sometimes packs will split in two and fight two different disputes in different locations at the same time. The pack may also go directly from dispute to dispute they are very close together and possibly join up with others on the way. Depending on the distance of the dispute and creatures going, typically the chosen groups will leave a few weeks to a month beforehand. The slowest creatures will leave first to ensure they get there on time, as the dispute begins at the exact one-year mark regardless if everyone is there. Because Inoveluto is one of the slowest and goes to only the largest of disputes, where it's actually worthwhile to bring her, she leaves up to two months earlier. Very small creatures (1-2 feet tall or shorter) are often carried to and from disputes by larger creatures as their legs are so short, they would exhaust themselves if they walked all teh way there, and they are hardly heavier than a large cat or dog. Inoveluto usually does not carry them despite how strong she is, as it would make her slower than she already is (which is already laughably sluggish). She sometimes carries the injured or those not needed in the near future back to the main camp, since there is usually no rush to return her. I've already outlined how the disputes are carried up above. Most disputes are between more than two Far Spirits, often three or more depending on the value of the disputed area. Sometimes Far Spirits that don't even possess any territory there or nearby may have creatures show up if it is particularly valuable land. At the end of the dispure (usually it ends after about a week or two) the borders forged are finalized for the next year, until the next fight occurs exactly one year after the last one began. After it ends, the creatures go to the main base camp, another intermediate camp, or to the nest dispute.

Regional differences

Creatures belonging to travelling Far Spirits live in the northern part of the Northern Plains. Type twos that belong to stationary Far Spirits live in the southern parts, where it is quite dry/arid and becomes a desert. This area was once lusher and greener, but now isn't that great of a place to live. The nicer areas of the southern regions are dominated by the mightiest creatures of the most wealthy Far Spirits, while smaller/weaker ones live in the drier areas. The lakes divide the land into three main areas.

Mrciura

The farthest to the west is Mrciura. There are many rich stationary Far Spirits to the south, most of which are groups controlled by higher spirits and they are amongst the richest and have the largest "collections" of creatures. However, they are prone to treating their big, possibly dangerous creatures like trophy pets, especially their type twos. They want them to absolutely not harm the native Hyumin as it is not their time to go, and for them to live as long as possible, and as they do not have to live as stressful a life as travelling creatures do, they mostly just sit around doing nothing and looking like impressive collectible. Sometimes the Far Sprits are not powerful enough to fully care for or control very large or powerful type twos, especially ex-travellers. In this case, they may have them heavily modified to become almost zombie-like, blurry-minded, forgetful, and repetitive so they do not exert themselves much physically or start squabbles. It can get worse, sometimes an overwhelmed spirit may place some type two creatues (type ones are too entertaining and valuable) in a sleeping/hibernating state or or essentially paralyze them by making them temporaily forget how to move at all until they can manage them again. Some older or unwanted travelling creatures from Caepstraluc (to be discussed later) end up being sold to stationary Far Spirits in Mrciura. Most of these are recolored from their garish, distracting tones and lost their bioluminescent markings to make them easier to care for, and fall into the zombified state. Mrciura's travelling creatures are usually fairly cheao, quite small, jittery, a bit nasty, and scraggly, usually greyish in color with yellow-white or light green or red bioluminescent spots. Mrciura is a large land with long distances between disputes, which keeps the creatures small and quick. Recently, the smaller and quicker of the creatures made by creators that have eathly beamdown spots in Caepstraluc have beome more popular in Mrciura. Mrciura disputes are not nearly as competive as Caepstraluc ones are, being more based on endurance than wild motion, speed, and flashiness, so many Caepstraluc-originated creatures are much gentler there. Far Spirits in Mrciura often don't take as good of care of their creatures as those in Caepstraluc do, and they're often dirtier and/or uglier and fouler-tempered. This has given travelling type twos in both regions a reputation for being grimy and a bit nasty.

Caepstraluc

Caepstraluc is the middle region with a lake on each side. Decades ago, there was a great war amongst the spirits, killing many of the Far Spirits who owned creatures in Caepstraluc. As a result, travelling Far Spirits held more power there and sometimes outshined the less-restrained stationary spirits, meaning creatures of both types belongig to both types of Far Spirit are wild and freer than those in Mrciura, and competition is vert fierce at border disputes. Many creatures there have many or very complicated bioluminescent patterns. Caepstraluc is a much smaller place, meaning travelling creatures can be much larger than those in Mrciura as they do not have to eb so fast to zip all over the place. There are also more travelling type ones in Caepstraluc, and they are far larger than their dinky Mrciura cousins. They are faster than type twos and would be the MVP of most packs if they didn't have to eat so much and were capable of keeping up their speed for longer distances. One, Popolyolami, is practically the symbol of one of the biggest border fights there. Disputes there are wild, chaotic and very colorful, with many creatures going all-out to confuse their opponents and be stylish for the critical spirits. Stationary Far Spirits in Caepstraluc let their creatures go just as wildly, as they refuse to be in the shadow of those who travel. Sometimes travelling creatures will go to stationary spirits for a few years before travelling again, or be permanently sold to them. One stationary spirit simply oversees the creatures of various travelling Far Spirits who decide to keep them with them for a few months/years. Their area is like an eternal territorial dispute for creatures too large to be useful travelling.

Scenabe

Scenabe is the easternmost region. There are practically no travelling Far Spirits there. There are several stationary spirits who have a few type twos, but few that are very notable. The only important thing to know about Scenabe is that copycat creators typically beam down there. They make crappy copies/knockoffs of other creatures, which range from mediocre to absymal.

Main types of Caepstraluc travelling creatures

Flailers/spinners- Usually small-medium sized, some are larger. They make fast, forceful arm movements to confuse their opponents before poking them. Those who try to track the exact movements of their arms to prepare for the poke can become nauseous and easier to poke. This is the most common variety of full-sized travellers. Unpredicability and speed are valued amongst them. Some Mrciura stationary Far Spirits allow them to be as aggressive and fast as they usually are, especially independent spirits and the poorer ones who impress others with the speed and energy of their creatures rather than the size or number of them. Many wealthy Far Spirits there also force these to be slow to extend their lifespans like they do with big creatures.

Stretchies- Stretchies are very tall and thin. They pick up one or two smallish creatures at a time and drop them, the poke them in the chest as they flail and panic before catching them and doing it again. They can't do anything against large creatures as they aren't strong enough to use this against them, and strong winds can cause them to fall and be poked. Certain other tall creatures may still be able to poke them as well. Stretchies are more or less treated the same by Mrciura stationary Far Spirits since they find this highly entertaining, they can be happy in either environment. Stationary stretchies can be more than 2-4 times taller than their travelling counterparts.

Armies- Called this because they have many, many arms arranged in a circular fan0liek fashion. They pick up many small creatures at once and keep them out of the way for a while to make things easier for flailer and stretchies. They're quite slow, but their usefullness makes them still veyr popular. Inoveluto's creator makes these almost exclusively, thus their similarities. Like Stretchies, Armies are treated about the same between travelling and stationary Far Spirits, and stationary armies can be enormous, some over 50 feet tall.

Lungers- They run back and forth at high speeds and attempt to poke each other in the process, a bit like jousting. It's a matter of timing and quick movements. Some lungers may have some Flailer actions, making fake pokes and jabs or spinning around as they charge. Soem are capable of flight and jump to the sky after charging, fly back to their starting place and land, then charge again so they don't have to stop. Lungers are usually treated decently by stationary spirits, though not as well as Armies and Stretchies are.

Minis- Tiny, dog/cat-sized creatures that bite at the heels of larger ones the distract them. They are more numerous than flailers due to how cheap and small they are, and there are hoards of them at large disputes. They can act like smaller, slower versions of flailers, stretchies, armies, or anything else.

Type Ones: Rarely seen outside of large disputes. Theya re reknowned for their efficiency and speed, able to swoop by many creatures at once and poke them all. There are many creatures who do not fit into these categories or have aspects of multiple ones. Inoveluto is one of these.

Here’s some info about Inoveluto:

History- Inoveluto was made by a creator who usually made and currently only makes very large travelling Armies. She was one of three or her kind. She was the first one made, and went to a travelling Far Spirit in Caepstraluc, along with her brother Lucaixbre. There was supposedly a third one that went to a stationary Far Spirit based in a better part of Scenabe. But that Far Spirit disappeared around 20 years ago, and neither of them have heard more than rumors about their triplet's existance. Nobody even knows what they looked like. Inolveluto was inicially unsuccessful as her creator only let her swing creatures directly above her head, which did not disorient them much and wasn't especially fearsome to others. Soon, she was given free reign to do anything, and she spun them round and round sideways, almost touching the ground, threw them and caught them, etc. which made her massively successful for awhile, as almost all competing creatures in her way froze in fear at her enormous size (while not as tall as some Stretchies and Armies, she is far more bulky), and she effortlessly disabled them by swinging them around in circles quickly to make them dizzy and disoriented for days and barely capable of competing. She believed she was the best and most spectacular creature in the world for those first years, and became kind of an overconfident jerk. But word of her spread, and others knew to expect at her at the huge disputes, and they began to either get used to her presence or just ran from her. In either case, she was unable to chase them down and catch them as she was and is still incredibly slow. While terrifying and effective against anything close enough to nab, anything outside of arm's reach had no difficulty avoiding her, and she became less and less useful. Like type ones, she was very slow and generally a pain to drag around, and soon her Far Spirit sold her to a stationary Far Spirit in Mrciura. Upon hearing the news, she was first outraged that her Far Spirit didn't need her, then horrified of going to a stationary spirit, especially one in Mrciura where huge creatures like her were routinely left sitting around doing little or nothing to live for far beyond their typical lifespans. Dbecanekra bluntly told her this, and went to far as to explain exactly why her Far Spirit was getting rid of her, citing her slowness, lack of impact on recent disputes, and the difficulty of bringing her to th remarkably few disputes she went to (less than half a dozen normally, and shrinking by the year). Dbecanekra is not necessarily mean or bad, she just wants the best for her Far Spirit and will bluntly tell others if they are being useful or not, even if it is very harsh. She resented Inoveluto when she travelled with her, as she saw that she was becoming a waste of time and resources, and believed that a good stationary spirit in Caepstraluc would be a better owner for her.

Inoveluto woke up several months later in Mrciura, in the care of one of the Banenhaxer spirits, which at the time were known for reckless decisions and letting their creatures run wild, but now are known for typically Mrciura maximum-lifespan restrictiveness. That particular spirit had bought 19 creatures from many different sources (including another, unrelated flopped traveller that was a triplet, Laiferu) to draw attention to them that year. However, they became overwhelmed by the sheer number of creatures to care for and had a hard time controlling them, plus many had various issues, including Inoveluto. One was of a defective line/species/type and was euthanised with all but one (who still lives to this day) of its numerous siblings after hazardous physical defects were discovered and several injured themselves and other creatures by falling apart. Another was usually in an inactive, sleeping state for unknown reasons, but some believed that it was possessed by the vengeful spirits of a Hyumin grave it disturbed when beamed down. A flailer tentacle monster rarely awakened due to various unknown health problems, as did a pair of bold pink twin fish-like lunger-flailers and Laiferu. Laiferu's story was similar to Inoveluto's in that he was too slow, heavy and unuseful to be practical. He was the last of his triplets to be made, and after his first Far Spirit saw how useless the first two were to theirs, got him as a relatively plain and cheap version and quickly disposed of him by selling him to the Banenhaxer Far Spirit. Eventually, the stationary Far Spirit euthanized him after a few years of barely waking up. Several of the creatures were eventually given to other Banenhaxer group spirits to care for, where they're doing fine to this day. Many small creatures, a couple of the larger type twos, and a Fsemacea did just fine (though the Fsemacea should be no shock as the Dragons and their creatures are known for being dependable).

The Far Spirit did not know how to properly control Inoveluto, so she spent most of her time in an essentially paralyzed state where she was conscious, but did not know how to move and could not remember how to. She occasionally was able to move around, with as much freedom as she had travelling, but at that point, she didn't care anymore. She had nobody to bother competing with,so she essentially had lost her purpose in life. She always disliked having to contend with the things living things must do, especially eating and sleeping, she hated how they took away valuable time. Sleeping could take up a third of her day, and she was and still is almost constantly hungry, which takes forever for her to sate as her stomach is like a bottomless pit. The feeling of domination and being the best was what brought joy to her life. Now she had nothing to care about anymore, nothing to strive for. Used to being THE thing, she no longer was with her Far Spirit's true loves being their huge type ones in the south, which diminished her earlier pride as they didn't care as much for her and she had no hope at surpassing them. Life became bleak, black, full of those space-outs where she could lie down and do nothing. She longed for the meaning and status of her old life, even for Dbecanekra, who she often quarreled with. Her main company during this time was a shark-like creature named Vtrenrei who plodded in slow circles all day, telling stories of the past creatures of this Banenhaxer spirit to the dormant creatures, who she (Vtrenrei) had dragged into the same general area so they could have something to listen to as they lay in that boring yet terrifying state, as nobody knew if it meant the end was soon. Sometimes Inoveluto would share her stories of travelling to Vtrenrei in return, having nothing better to do. Over the next few years, many of the new creatures began to disappear, whether going off to new Far Spirits or being euthanised, and Inoveluto began to fear for her life, especially after seeing Laiferu put to death. But at the same time, she almost welcomed it as she no longer cared about her life.

Let me explain the concepts of afterlife and death in this world. I forgot to describe them earlier. When someone is euthanised, their Far Spirit quickly sends long-necked spirits called Gnashers down to consume their corpse (since the design of the created bodies are trade secrets and no other creator, or their creatures should be able to view the insides of them since they may copy/knockoff them or bring the information to their creator) and carry their souls to a great celestial cooking vessel. The soul is dumped inside, along with the souls of 99% of all deceased creatures, where they are melted down and mixed into a thick, shiny, silver, and slightly iridescent glop known as Godly Glue, which is used to print new creatures when very well mixed, or attach/reattach parts to injured creatures (or in one case stick the entire guy back together, THREE TIMES, which had severe mental effects). It could be considered a form of reincarnation, since in cases where copious amounts of Godly Glue are used (like in the previous parentheses), the recipient's mind comes under control of the multitude of souls now present in their body, causing their personality to become erratic and unpredictable as they now are hundreds of personalities/souls at once, battling for dominance and control.

But if someone dies by violent or natural means and either the soul escapes before the Gnashers are sent (which happens in the extremely rare event that someone dies violently and even rarer, has no qualms against betraying their Far Spirit, like Myrise) or they have no Far Spirit to send Gnashers (in the case of creatures abandoned by their Far Spirit or with dead Far Spirits who are to die of hunger/thirst/etc.) their soul remains floating around the physical world like an invisible ghost. It cannot be sensed and can only communicate via certain rituals. Abandoned creatures that die naturally and physically decay are usually covered up by others when discovered, until they are only a skeleton, which is uncovered, then undisturbed and left as a memorial until it is eventually removed by spirits looking to clean up the world.

Death isn't especially feared, and some creatures are curious about the feeling of it. Suicide and murder are considered equally despicable acts in this land, as they mean either harming the Far Spirit of others willingly, or knowingly hamring your own for selfish reasons. The more important or expensive the creature killed is, the worse the act is considered. If it is a one-time act, one will be shamed for life, but not killed. Any more, and one may be euthanized for the good of others. Those who have killed themselves or multiple others are mixed in a pot of their own and the Godly Glue that results is mixed with the rest in tiny quantity, and any Godly Glue containing these sould must be used for only minor fixes, where psychologicl effects are slight and persist only for a few days.

So Inoveluto's acceptance of the likely coming of her death is hardly unusual, and not outrageous as she did not actively seek it out and if it did occur, it would be only if the Far Spirit desired. But this never happened. Instead, she was sent to another Banenhaxer group spirit and heavily modified to make her easier to control. When she awoke, she was no longer who she once was and had no way of going back to her old life, or even remembering it. She could no longer remember many details of anything, inlcuding her own past, recalling only that she was blue, it was fun, and her brother was red and named Lucaixbre. She struggled to remember the names of common objects, calling them (adjective) things and all creatures "that guy". She became physically unable to do many of the wilder maneuvers she did before (like handstands, spinning things around at different angles, etc), which didn't matter since sh elaso forgot how to to them, and became far more docile and timid. She no longer had the endurance, energy, or will to walk long distances to travel or be as competitive or aggressive as she once was. Her mind was always in a fog an she stumbled around southern Mrciura without a purpose, only griping about the heat and longing for her brother. She still is, to this day,

Notes on physical appearance and traits:

Her eyes are crosshairs that focus on those she perceives as a target. After being modified, she lost these and has normal "hypno" eyes now. Her ears are quite long, and others sometimes comment on them. She has no opinion on them. Her "mustache" marking is her most important marking in my opinion, and is the reason why some Hyumin refer to her as he or it on first sight, due to confusion when they see her long eyelashes (her siblings have them as well). She has very thick fur, which is very long on the sides of her face and butt, and extremely long on her tail and mane. Like all dogs, she is very hot and other creatures sometimes try to snuggle with her for warmth since she's also quite soft and squishy and makes a nice pillow. As she is/was much larger than most travelling creatures, several of them could be seen snuggling/laying on her while sleeping, looking like a huge heap. She sleeps sprawled on her back, in the classic "dead" position with her legs and arms splayed out and her mouth often open. She snores, very loudly, which sometimes wakes herself up since she's a very light sleeper. She is very bulky and muscular, but this isn't very defined since her fur is quite long and she;s on the chubbier side, so she's quite bear-ish looking. It's the just the way she is naturally. Not like she can tell, as she has no concept of anything related ot biology works, as do pretty much all other creatures due to the whole copyright thing. Whatever looks the bigged they assume is the strongest/most intimidating, for example, they'd be more afraid of a baby wearing an ENORMOUS hat (look up 'beach blanket babylon hats for a visual idea)or a random fat guy than a very short martial art master. She's frighteningly strong and and could probably pick up a decent-sized Fsemacea and do her swingy disorienting thing with anything her size or smaller. She has fairly sturdy/solid legs because otherwise she'd end up like one of those overgrown meat chickens/turkeys whose legs break under them. Obviously, her creator had the sense to know that that is to be avoided, otherwise the only thing they'd be allow to make would be burgers and fries in a spiritual fast food joint. Enough of that tangent, she could probably kick things pretty hard if physical violence wasn't so condemned. As stated before, she is disgustingly slow, yet quite hyper. Her top speed resembles Godzilla skipping, but she can keep it up for quite a while. She can nab things within arms reach very quickly, which makes her a real threat at that range. When she whirls things around, she can get up to a very good speed, enough that the blood starts going to their extremities and they fly outwards from the force. All non-blue parts of her blue version are bioluminescent and can glow with a dotted pattern. After her modification, she was no longer bioluminescent. While she chose to be female in gender, she doesn't have any primary or secondary sexual characteristics due to her kind being nonreproducing, so she is totally flat-chested. Some, like her, have wider hips simply for aesthetic value or other purposes.

Personality (pre-modification) Inoveluto quickly became overly self-confident after being so successful at first, and she goes out of her way to show off to everyone to prove how "spectacular" she is. Sometimes, it's something semi-normal like grabbing something huge off the very top shelf, other times it weird stuff like proving what a "spectacular" pillow she is. But she won't do anything if you ask for it since that shows you already know that she's spectacular. She frequently uses that particular word to describe herself for no explicable reason. She dominates over others and tries to take control, often causing arguements with those who challenge her "authority" and pre-existing leaders. It might be a good thing that she never met her brother as they would both attempt to prove they are stronger than the other, and end up in an eternal struggle until one of them just went down due to not feeling as well. Everyone is either categorized as a threat or wimp, or a wimp in the way. Those who are more powerful than her re threats that she must somehow subjugate, and wimps she completely ignores or attempts to dazzle. She's not even remotely scared of anything significantly smaller than her, and automatically treats them like ants and calls them something along the lines of "(diminuitive) (animal/adjective) creature/thing/baby/one" (ex: miniature noisy thing, baby crocodile creature, pathetic greenish guy). She isn't malicious, just soemwhat condescending and dominating. She is not especially affected by insults, either insulting the person back or brushing it off with something like "I'm too spectacular for you" or "Hateful child". She's rather loud and obnoxious and very extroverted, and of course she oftens ends up talking about how great she is. When it comes to talking others, she's brutally honest if she does not perceive them as a threat or puts down those she percieves as actually threatening. She's not the type to give compliments. As said before, she dislikes how demanding being alive is and sometimes talks about how great it would be to be a spirit. Others think she's strange, but don't typically say anything because they know how she'll react. She doesn't get extremely angry or happy from a single provocation, it takes several to really get her going, but when she does, it's extreme and hard to stop. In either case, she may get very physical (she's the type to flip the table is she loses at chess) Near the end of her travelling time, Dbecanekra's remarks eventually began to change her view of herself. She became less obsessed with how spectacular she was, and began to doubt herself. She realized her previous happiness had been based on lies, that her past life was now impossible, and struggled to really be herself the last few days before she was finally sent away. Had she been sold to a Caepstraluc Far Spirit, she may have been more optimistic, as she wouldn't have been as humiliated or lost so much freedom, but the promise of being sent to Mrciura, away from everyone she knew and to a Far Spirit that probably would force her into an eternal life of dullness and mediocrity depressed her, as she knew what likely awaited her and knew it as the land for failures and second-rate creatures.

Some travelling aquaintances:

Dbecanekra- She is of a numerous kind from a creator once known for making amazing travellers. Because of her success, she is highly critical, but not unfair, in her judgements of others and is passionate about pleasing her Far Spirit. In disputes, she is a Flailer known for wild, erratic movements and the brilliant patterns of her bioluminescence. Inoveluto does not get along with her because she can't take her criticism and will not accept her authority. Dbecanekra does not necessarily like Inoveluto and considers her to eb near-worthless to their group, but does not hate her or wish ill will to her.

Nwaibro- During Inoveluto's travelling time, he was one of a popular group of large and colorful pheasant-beetle-like creatures with mostly rainbow and white colorations and very gentle demeanors that cam efrom the same Far Spirit as Dbecanekra. He is very easygoing and optimistic, and just competes to make his groups happy. He is very gentle on those he competes with, acting somewhat like an Armie by picking up many creatures and holding them out of the way. He sometimes scoops up his comrades to hold them out of harms way to rest. Eventually, one of his siblings collapsed and dropped the creatures they were holding, and crushed those they landed on. While they did not die, the number of injuries led to most of his sibling being returned to their creator to be modified, but many were euthanised instead. Nwaibro believed it would all come out okay, but was also euthanised. This did not occur until almost a decade after Inoveluto was sold.

Nerereptsi- A medium-sized peacock-like bird that's silver and blue. They don't realize things or react very quickly, but when they do it's quite strong. They're not very social and quite awkward because of their slow reactions. However, they're like by others in their pack because they're quite useful in disputes. They violently spin and disorient others somewhat like Inoveluto, but only in one direction and not as large of creatures. They are much faster and smaller, so they're more practical for smaller disputes.

#i forgot what I originally wrote this for #i think it was commission info or just in the mood to do it

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mi7004nelaangelova-blog · 6 years

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“CHILD WITHIN OURSELF” Young people goes through periods of independence and dependence. The transition to adulthood however is not easier, if you think of “adulthood” as a setting up a career, settling far away from home, creating own family and build up an entire new home. People did not become any less an adults, having those things and yet these are the markers of adulthood today. And when some individuals take too long to acquire them they are being called “kids”. Finding whats best for you while growing up, and holding on to those habits and values of your youth is a right you’re entitled to. Imagine all of a sudden you’re out in the world, and you have this countless variety of options, but you don’t know which one is the best for you. There’s the pressure from your family in terms of expectations for a big professional realisation etc. Age alone doesn’t make a person an adult, there are different factors to be considered. People are getting married and having kids later in life, but those are just optional things, but what makes you really an adult? I set out to try to answer this to the best of my ability, but truth is there is either no answer, or a variety of complex and multifaceted answers. Because the view from the top is so different, I asked a few friends to define what adulthood mean, and how the understand it. “Theoretically, I think we are a child for as long as we have a parent..being a child could also be an individual approach, so you’re one for as long as you want to be. With me, well I’m in a transition for a couple of years now, still not fully an adult yet..whivh i think is my decision in that case..i want to stay a child as long as possible. But i have adult responsibilities unfortunately. Another thing is we become an adults when we build a family. So when you have a partner you are willing to spent your life with them and start your life with them, you’re an adult.” Kinga Kolodziej After talking with Kinga i asked my self, we decide when to become an adults, and its also down to when we feel is the right thing to do it so. I think the transition between childhood to adulthood is not easy, because all of the sudden you find yourself in this world full of opportunities, and you have to ‘prove“ the society that you’re capable of being called an adult. So you strive for that job, live on your own, create family and have kids..so thats okay..but what happen to those who struggle to live within the society’s norms, the society will call the ’children’, because they haven’t managed to ‘graduate’ from the transition of adulthood. “I feel like in the eyes of law, yes you are an adult in certain age. But personally no, i won’t feel like I’m an adult until I’m fully independent. I feel like society determines what an adult is. You are expected to be in a certain position in your life, the job, car, house etc.” Becca Nicholson I feel is more of a personal choice to either wanting to be a child or a grown up..and until you have moved out from your parents house, have a job, family and kids you can say you’re still a child. The society determines what you should be, based on what you’re capable of and how matured you’re . “Becoming an adult” is more of an elusive, sort of abstract concept than I’d thought when I was younger. I just assumed you’d get to a certain age and everything would make sense. Bless my young little heart, I had no idea! At 28, I can say that sometimes I feel like an adult and a lot of the time, I don’t. Being a Millennial and trying to adult is wildly disorienting. I can’t figure out if I’m supposed to start a non-profit, get another degree, develop a wildly profitable entrepreneurial venture, or somehow travel the world and make it look effortless online. Mostly it just looks like taking a job that won’t ever pay off my student debt in a field that is not the one that I studied. Then, if I hold myself to the traditional ideal of what it means to be an adult, I’m also not nailing it. I am unmarried, and not settled into a long term, financially stable career. Recognising that I’m holding myself to an unrealistic standard considering the economic climate and the fact that dating as a Millennial is exhausting, it’s unfair to judge myself, but I confess I fall into the trap of comparison often enough. Sometimes because I simply desire those things for myself, and sometimes because Instagram. My ducks are not in a row, they are wandering. Maria Eleusiniotis Adulthood is a social construct in that way you can say so is childhood. But like all social constructs, they have real consequences. They determine who is legally responsible for their actions and who is not, what roles people are allowed to have within society, how people see each other, and how they see themselves. For example in the United States, you can’t drink until you are 21, but legal adulthood, along with voting and the ability to join the military, comes at age 18. Or does it? You’re allowed to watch adult movies at 17. And kids can hold a job as young as 14, depending on state restrictions, and can often deliver newspapers, babysit, or work for their parents even younger than that. “We all know people who are 21 or 22 years old who are very wise and mature, but we also know people who are very immature and very reckless. We’re not going to start giving people maturity tests to decide whether they can buy alcohol or not.” Laurence Steinberg “I don’t think I’ve become an adult just yet. I’m a 21 year-old American student who lives almost entirely off of my parent’s welfare. For the last several years, I’ve felt a pressure— it might be a biological or a social pressure— to get out from under the yoke of my parents’ financial assistance. I feel that only when I’m able to support myself financially will I be a true “adult.” Some of the traditional markers of adulthood (turning 18, turning 21) have come and gone without me feeling any more adult-y, and I don’t think that marriage would make me feel grown up unless it was accompanied by financial independence. Money really matters because past a certain age it is the main determiner of what you can and cannot do. And I guess to me the freedom to choose all “the things” in your life is what makes someone an adult.” Stephen Grapes “Adulthood is like a fish glittering in the water; you know it’s swimming around there and you can reach out and maybe touch it, but to catch it would destroy everything. And the moments when you do catch it—when you have to attend a brother-in-law’s funeral or euthanise a paralysed pet—you grasp it and sit on the grass contentedly, watching adulthood glint in the sunlight. Then lean back and sigh, relieved that—for today, at least—it doesn’t concern you.” Anonymous Being an adult isn’t always a desirable thing. Independence can become loneliness. Responsibility can become stress. Williams Brown breaks down the lessons she’s learned about adulthood into three categories: “taking care of people, taking care of things, and taking care of yourself.”

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petsinneedproject-blog · 7 years

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Benchmark #1: No-Kill Shelters in California

In California, no treatable or adoptable animal can be lawfully euthanised. In 1998, California passed three pieces of legislation that targeted animal suffering, including spay/neuter requirements, rescue group requirements, and the prohibition of carbon monoxide euthanasia. San Francisco has even achieved a live release rate of 98% as of 2012. But for all of the state’s hard work, 9,915 out of the 77,414 cats and dogs residing in California animal shelters in the first quarter of 2016 were euthanised. This means that nearly 13% of cats and dogs were killed, and that’s only three months of data in one state in the entire country. Every year, approximately 2.6 million out of the 8 million shelter animals are euthanized across the country.

So why are these dogs and cats being euthanized? There are a variety of reasons. Some shelters do not have the space to keep every animal alive. Others have financial limitations, such as an inability to pay enough staff or buy enough food for every single animal. Other shelters are unable to pay for medical treatments and behavioral programs, even though only 2% of animals are suffering from untreatable diseases. Other shelters are ill equipped to care for feral or motherless animals. But there is a common thread running through all of these reasons: most shelters lack the time and money to properly care for the sheer volume of animals in the shelter system.

So what is the solution? Creating and funding more no-kill shelters. Not shelters that save 50% of animals or 90% of animals, but all of the treatable and adoptable animals that they can. A no-kill shelter is able to house all animals, regardless of their status. Healthy, feral, orphaned, pregnant, poorly socialized, and animals of all colors, ages, breeds are saved by no-kill shelters. Even animals suffering from diseases are kept alive, as long as they have a treatable condition. Transforming every shelter into a no-kill shelter is the most humane way to approach animal homelessness, both in California and across the United States.

Pets in Need is a no-kill shelter located in Menlo Park, California. Pets in Need’s mission, according to their website, is to “advance the no-kill movement, reduce pet homelessness, and find every dog and cat a loving home.” They achieve this by adhering to their guiding principles: respect, compassion, leadership, community involvement, and integrity. Other shelters employ various marketing and adoption tactics, combined with volunteer outreach and other community engagement strategies. As one of the premier animal shelters in Northern California, Pets in Need has been essential to the fight against euthanasia. I am excited and honored to work with such an important organization for my senior project.

To help Pets in Need in their fight against euthanasia and their quest to end pet homelessness in California, please consider donating to their organization at https://petsinneed.org/donate. Every bit helps!

For more information, see these sources:

https://www.animallaw.info/statutes/us/california

http://www.nokilladvocacycenter.org/

https://shelteranimalscount.org/data/Explore-the-Data/dataset

https://www.aspca.org/animal-homelessness/shelter-intake-and-surrender/pet-statistics

https://petsinneed.org

#blog

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cassidy-malta · 7 years

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March 9: Educate Yourself

"How are the Americans doing?" -our kindly old religion professor every class about midway through

"The Americans have accepted their imminent failure of this course and are spending their time doodling, checking social media, journaling, and writing postcards." -what I want to say

"The Americans are doing great." -what I actually say

I've gotten a lot of questions about how the Maltese University system works and this post is hopefully going to explain it all! First things first, yes, I do occasionally go to school! Between all of the international trips, weekend outings, and island adventures, I go to class for a total of 12 hours every week in addition to 2-3 hours of volunteering for credit. I purposefully made a schedule that only has class every Wednesday and Friday in order to give myself extra long weekends for traveling and fun- this was an incredibly wise decision. The walk to and from school is a 30-45 minute hilly death trap that involves dodging cars, busses, dog poop, and trying to avoid the temptations of neighbourhood Pastizzeria (a Maltese exclusive hole-in-the-wall shop filled with greasy variations of cheese, meat, and fried bread). My calves thank me for minimising the number of times I have to make the trek.

(The University is full of outdoor corridors and a labyrinth of above and below ground classrooms and hallways)

(Malta loves its stray cats. It’s become clear that this is the cats’ island and I’m just living on it. This guy decided to visit us in the cafeteria yesterday)

First of all, the University of Malta does not measure its courses in credits but ECTS. One ECTS is equal to half of an American credit. Most full time students take a max of 31-32 ECTS and my friends and I are taking 22 ECTS (11 US credits) and I simply can't imagine taking any more. Wednesday's I have class 12-2 and 3-5 (Paideia 450 and Malta & the Maltese: History and Culture) and Friday's I add a third course to my schedule from 10-12 (Sexuality, Theology, and Marriage).

(A very famous neolithic statue entitled “The Sleeping Lady”- we learned about it in class and then went to a museum where we got to visit it)

(A couple friends and I went to explore a neolithic temple on our day off class after learning about them- talk about applied learning!)

You read that right. Classes are two hours long and every Friday I get the joy of six hours of class. At Luther this wouldn't really warrant a complaint but classes at the University of Malta are lecture style (cue the spooky foreboding music). You truly don't know what you have until it's gone and I realised this when I lost my comfortable discussion based Luther classes. The two hours of class are sometimes broken up by a 5-10 minute break but usually consist of a very old man sitting behind a desk and reading in such a heavily accented voice that we only pick up on every third or fourth word. The classes will cumulate in a final exam or paper depending on what a professor prefers, but we have no homework or busy work during the week. I spend the majority of time in class writing postcards and filling my notes with doodles and caricatures of the content.

(Neanderthal pictured, not pictured are the subsequent doodles of the Normans, Spaniards, Sail Boats, and a random Scuba Diver)

In order to have enough credits to qualify as a full time student back at Luther, I have also started to earn “service credit” at the local Humane Society. Once a week for 2-3 hours I have to go play with dogs (sounds awful, huh?). I’ve gotten very connected to the other volunteers and residents of the shelter. The men, women, and gender fluid individuals who work there are kind hearted and eager to teach us the proper walking technique and tell us the stories of the dogs. There are usually approximately 14 dogs in the shelter, about two or three getting adopted or dropped off weekly. Some have been in the shelter for ten years, others only last a week. The dogs are never euthanised unless they are in considerable pain and never due to age, viciousness, or length of stay at the shelter- the one aggressive dog that literally took a chunk out of somebody’s arm once greets us daily with a happy tail wag and booming bark. I’ve never actually worked at a Humane Society before and this experience has changed me completely. The dogs choose me, nuzzling onto my lap, pressing their noses through the bars into my knuckles. When I take them on walks their big goofy smiles and flopping tails fill me with joy. I hear their stories of abandonment and abuse and try to fill their deep soulful eyes with love and compassion since they have been shown so little in their lives. I’m certainly getting more out of this experience than a few college credits.

(I hate cats. I’m allergic to them, but this guy chose me and I had to pet him. I feared the consequences if I didn’t)

(Boccu is a sweet Fox Terrier at the shelter. I accidentally mispronounced his name and apparently swore in Maltese to the other volunteers’ cheeky delight)

(we only got to meet Emmy once before she was adopted but she was such a happy puppy. All dogs and cats are spayed, neutered, and microchipped before they are adopted, and you can pay for your own pet to be taken care of for a mere 50 euro)

(I know I shouldn’t pick favorites, but Argo is by far my favorite. He was left behind by his owners when they moved to Italy. At 80 pounds, Argo likes to drag me along on walks and is looking forward to going to his forever home next week. There’s no way you can look into his eyes and not believe that dogs have souls)

In my free time when I’m not exploring some distant corner of the island, touring a national aquarium, or going on a wine tour (the contents of this last weekend), I’ve enjoyed sunbathing on the roof with a good book (I just finished “Gone Girl” after being hopelessly glued to it), long naps, walks along the seaside, and ample time spent in my journal.

(Top Left: Christ the Redeemer with local fish, Top Right: Cass the Redeemer with local fish, Bottom Left: Turns out I love sting rays. Absolutely beautiful, Bottom Right: I even enjoyed the reptile and amphibian room!)

I have picked up a wonderful habit of bullet journaling. For Christmas my godparents bought me a Moleskin bulleted journal that has quickly become my constant companion. It's a perfect balance of a planner, to do list, memory book, habit tracker, and journal. Completely customisable, I have been filling my journal with receipts, tickets, maps, funny stories, monthly layouts and weekly to do lists. It's a total source of distraction and comfort and will definitely end up being my most cherished souvenir. I hate to admit that have made the most progress on the pages during the two hour lectures (oops!).

(Here is my beloved journal. Slowly but surely I’m coating it in stickers from the places I’ve been. It’s my most constant companion)

(I’ve used the journal to collect ticket stubs, maps, boarding passes, and document memories- it will be my favourite souvenir)

(The journal is so multifunctional that I never have to pay attention in class! I fill the pages with whatever my heart desires. It took four hours of class on March 8 to make the International Women’s Day doodle!)

(I’ve planned out my entire month on this page. It ages me about 5 years every time I look at the sheer amount of stuff)

(this is an example of a to-do list. I have one per week and I only fill it out Wednesday and Friday. It makes sure that I stay on track and keep everything prioritised. Every week has a different colour scheme and layout)

So you just got a cool snapshot into an average week in Malta. This weekend we might be heading back to Gozo for the day on Saturday but strong winds might keep the ferries from running. Keep the locals in your hearts as a beloved landmark collapsed due to the crazy weather (RIP Azure Window). I head to England in two weeks on my first traveling adventure so feel free to shoot me any recommendations for the Nottingham area and London area! Much love, keep in touch, & let me know if you want a postcard!

Special shout out to Grandma & Grandpa Woods, Steve & Susan Woods, Dixie Forsberg, and Mom & Dad for the postcards, packages, and letters! I LOVE MAIL.

#maltagram #malta #azure window #norseadventures #norse adventures #luther college #University of Malta #Bullet Journal #Humane Society #Dogs #Cats #Cassidy

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